作者：李清如
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和外国人谈交际试读：
和外国人谈交际
作者：李清如排版：Cicy本书由北京明天远航文化传播有限公司授权北京当当科文电子商务有限公司制作与发行。— · 版权所有 侵权必究 · —和外国人谈交际最实用的话题，最地道的表达，最实用的词汇，助您突破英语口语瓶颈，实现与老外进行深层次对话和交流；玩转英语口语，见老外不再有口难开；打造沟通高手，说英语也能出口成章；与老外聊天最实用的话题，最原生态的会话场景。
本书不同于一般的英语口语学习书，所选取的每一个话题都是从老外的角度出发，找出他们最感兴趣的话题。每个话题都独立成篇，读者可以根据自己的兴趣从中选取最感兴趣的话题进行练习。
本书语言生动、简洁，让读者在学习地道英语的同时也能感受到英美国家的世风民情。对话中大量的英语固定表达，使您能够非常准确、得体、幽默地与老外进行深度对话。
Personal Privacy vs Hospitality隐私与亲密
隐私是一种与公共利益、群体利益无关，当事人不愿他人知道或他人不便知道的个人信息。当事人不愿他人干涉或他人不便干涉的个人私事，以及当事人不愿他人侵入或他人不便侵入的个人领域。随着网络的不断发展，相关的安全性问题特别是个人隐私的保护备受关注。据媒体调查显示，在互联网时代，有55.8%的受访者认为保护个人隐私“越来越难”。29.3%的人认为，“个人信息被随意公开泄露”，而提高保护意识是杜绝个人信息外泄的重要方法。好客则是指社交上或商业上热诚、大方地接待和款待客人或陌生人。
What is personal privacy and hospitality
什么是隐私和亲密
Privacy is the ability of an individual or group to seclude them or information about themselves and thereby reveal them selectively. The boundaries and content of what is considered private differ among cultures and individuals, but share basic common themes. Privacy is sometimes related to anonymity, the wish to remain unnoticed or unidentified in the public realm. When something is private to a person, it usually means there is something within them that is considered inherently special or personally sensitive. The degree to which private information is exposed therefore depends on how the public will receive this information, which differs between places and over time. Privacy is broader than security and includes the concepts of appropriate use and protection of information.
The concept of privacy is most often associated with Western culture, English and North American in particular. According to some researchers, the concept of privacy sets Anglo-American culture apart even from other Western European cultures such as French or Italian. Privacy, as the term is generally understood in the West, is not a universal concept and remained virtually unknown in some cultures until recent times. Most cultures, however, recognize certain forms of hidden or personal information that is not shared with wider society. The word “privacy” is sometimes regarded as untranslatable by linguists. Many languages lack a specific word for “privacy”. Such languages either use a complex description to translate the term or borrow English “privacy”.
Hospitality is the relationship between guest and host, or the act or practice of being hospitable. Specifically, this includes the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers, resorts, membership clubs, conventions, attractions, special events, and other services for travelers and tourists.
In the contemporary West, hospitality is rarely a matter of protection and survival, and is more associated with etiquette and entertainment. However, it still involves showing respect for one’s guests, providing for their needs, and treating them as equals. Cultures and subcultures vary in the extent to which one is expected to show hospitality to strangers, as opposed to personal friends or members of one’s in-group.
The hospitality service industry includes hotels, casinos, and resorts, which offer comfort and guidance to strangers, but only as part of a business relationship. The terms hospital, hospice, and hostel also derive from “hospitality”, and these institutions preserve more of the connotation of personal care.
Hospitality ethics is a discipline that studies this usage of hospitality.
隐私权（right of privacy）是指自然人(natural person)享有的私人生活安宁与私人信息秘密依法受到保护，不被他人非法侵扰(illegal intrusion)、知悉、收集、利用和公开(publicity)的一种人格权(right of personality)，而且权利主体(subject of right)对他人在何种程度上可以介入自己的私生活(private life)，对自己是否向他人公开隐私(personal privacy)以及公开的范围和程度等具有决定权。隐私权的特征有：隐私权的主体只能是自然人，隐私权的内容具有真实性(authenticity)和隐秘性，隐私权的保护范围受公共利益(public interest)的限制。
Key words & Sentences
关键词句全知道
I beg pardon, I shouldn’t have mentioned other’s secrets.
请原谅，我不应该提人家的隐私。
Our privacy should not be violated.
我们的隐私不容侵犯。
It is bad manners to tell tales.
揭人隐私是缺乏教养的。
She has been living in a goldfish bowl since she won the beauty contest.
自从她选美获胜后，她就像活在金鱼缸中，任人参观，毫无隐私。
We must respect other’s privacy.
我们应该尊重别人的隐私。我们不该打听别人的私事。
He has a private matter which he will never tell anyone.
他有一个绝对不能告诉任何人的隐私。
The Research of the Protection on the Right to Individual Privacy in Cyber Space should be paid more attention.
网络空间隐私侵权探析应当受到重视。
Why everyone be in favor of the privacy of the famous persons?
为什么普通人喜欢知道名人的隐私？
Everyone has his own privacy.
每个人都有自己的隐私。
Your medical-seeking privacy will be protected.
您的就医隐私会受到保护。
If that privacy is of tort, so does privacy still get legal protection?
假如那个隐私是侵权的，那么隐私还受法律的保护吗？
These issues not intervene in personal or private topics.
这些问题不涉及私人话题或隐私。
I object to our privacy being invaded.
我反对我们的隐私权受到侵害。
They showed a brazen disregard for her privacy.
他们明目张胆地无视她的隐私权。
Mrs Brown is known for her hospitality.
布郎太太以好客闻名。
We are a hospitable nation.
我们是好客的民族。
The islanders are known for their hospitality.
岛上的居民以好客闻名。
I am obliged to you for your gracious hospitality.
我很感谢你的热情好客。
Let’s Talk！
开始交流吧！
Jerry: I don’t like my Chinese friends calling me “Lao Wai”. It makes me feel that I am not one of them.
杰瑞：我不喜欢中国的朋友叫我“老外”。这让我感觉我不属于他们中的一份子。
Li Ming: Actually, Chinese people want to treat you as one of us. The word “lao” always implies respect and closeness when used to address someone. For example, senior people are often addressed as “lao Wang” or “lao Li”.
李明：事实上，中国人是希望把你当作自己人看待。用“老”字称呼某人通常包含尊敬和亲近的意思。例如，年纪大的人通常被称为“老王”或“老李”。
Jerry: I see. Many people are learning English nowadays. But it’s a bit weird to hear people say hello to me in the street. That’s the word you use to answer phone. So it feels like everybody in the street is on the phone.
杰瑞：我知道了。许多人如今都在学英语。但是当我在街道上听到有人对我说哈罗的时候感觉有点怪异。这个词通常用于打电话。所以这让我感觉街上的所有人都在打电话。
Li Ming: Chinese people are friendly. We are also curious about people from afar. What you’ve just said is an example of such a feeling.
李明：中国人都非常友善。我们通常对于远方来的人很好奇。你刚刚说的恰恰就是一例。
Jerry: But occasionally, some people tend to be over-enthusiastic. I was reading in a subway one hot summer day when a young man looked at my arm and asked, “Don’t you feel hot with so much hair on your arm?” I have a five-year-old son. And sometimes people like to touch his face or even hold him up in the arms. He doesn’t like that. So I have to explain to him that is the Chinese way of showing affection.
杰瑞：但是有时候，一些人过度热情了。记得在一个炎热的夏天，当我在地铁站看报纸的时候有个年轻人看着我的手臂问：“你的手臂那么多汗毛不觉得热吗？”我有一个五岁的儿子。有时人们喜欢摸他的脸，甚至把他抱在胳膊上。他不喜欢这样，所以我不得不向他解释说这是中国人表达喜爱的方式。
Li Ming: That’s just like what we read in “A neighbor is more dependable than a distant relative.” Today’s China has evolved from its agricultural origins, where there was limited mobility. Those old traditions have given rise to a unique level of human relationship, which doesn’t accommodate personal privacy. People treat each other like one big family. The level of closeness is easily visible in everyday greetings such as “Have you eaten?” and “Where are you going?” Even during first encounters, Chinese people may still ask such questions as “Are you married?” “How old are you?” or other questions which may be very personal to westerner. Or you should learn to appreciate it rather than feeling offended.
李明：这就像我们所说的“远亲不如近邻”。中国的发展源自于流动性很低的农业。那些传统导致了这种独一无二的人际关系，即不太顾及个人隐私。人们对待彼此就像一家人。这种亲近很容易在每天的打招呼中看出来，比如“吃了吗？”和“你去哪儿？”。甚至在第一次见面时，中国人仍然会提出诸如“你结婚了吗？”“你多大了”或者其他一些在西方人看来非常私人的问题。或许你应当学着去理解他而非感到被侵犯。
Jerry: I’ve got it. This is Chinese hospitality just like the person who shared your newspaper. I remember some of my western friends telling me that sometimes they will either charge less or offer more when doing the grocery shopping. Again this is all about Chinese hospitality.
杰瑞：我知道了。就像有的人和你共享报纸是中国好客的表现。我记得一些西方朋友曾告诉我他们购物时有时会少付钱或获得更多的东西，这也是中国好客的表现。
Li Ming: Well, it seems I am an unlucky person because I’ve never been in a situation where people are willing to charge me less.
李明：这么看起来我是个不走运的人，因为我没有遇到过少付钱的状况。
Exchange of Gifts礼尚往来
礼尚往来，当物品冠以“礼”，顾名思义，已经不是普通的物品，而是一种具有特殊符号意义，即具有“礼”性质的物品了。而“礼”在我们的社会里，就是强调“往来”。正像《礼记》中所说：礼尚往来，往而不来，非礼也；来而不往，亦非礼也。然而，这样的往来又是为了什么呢？
What is the exchange of gifts
什么是礼尚往来
In the social sciences, a gift economy (or gift culture) is a society where valuable goods and services are regularly given without any explicit agreement for immediate or future rewards (i.e. no formal quid pro quo exists). Ideally, simultaneous or recurring giving serves to circulate and redistribute valuables within the community. The organization of a gift economy stands in contrast to a barter economy or a market economy. Informal custom governs exchanges, rather than an explicit exchange of goods or services for money or some other commodity.
Various social theories concerning gift economies exist. Some consider the gifts to be a form of reciprocal altruism. Another interpretation is that social status is awarded in return for the gifts. Consider for example, the sharing of food in some hunter-gatherer societies, where food-sharing is a safeguard against the failure of any individual’s daily foraging. This custom may reflect concern for the well-being of others, it may be a form of informal insurance, or may bring with it social status or other benefits. Because of the (future) benefit that is received from these actions, gift economies are still based upon trade, but without explicit returns from exchanges.
A gift economy normally requires the gift exchange to be more than simply a back-and-forth between two individuals. This notion of expanding the circle can also be seen in societies where hunters give animals to priests, who sacrifice a portion to a deity (who, in turn, is expected to provide an abundant hunt). The hunters do not directly sacrifice to the deity themselves.
Many societies have strong prohibitions against turning gifts into trade or capital goods.
Additionally, in some kinds of gift economies, gift recipients are expected to give something in return, such as political support, military services and general loyalty, or even return gifts and favors. This was common in warrior societies where kings and chieftains gave freely to their followers and could expect their loyal service in return. Such systems have social sanctions built in to punish freeloaders or miserly chiefs. A default punishment would be to halt gifts or services from one party to the alleged party in wrong. Typical sanctions might also include a bad reputation, formal eviction from the lord’s hall, a challenge to a duel, or public ridicule.
礼尚往来（the exchange of gifts）是指互通有无（mutual exchange of needed products），在礼节（courtesy）上重视有来有往，现也指以同样的态度来对待对方。“尚 ”意为注重。
与“礼尚往来”相关的故事：春秋时期(the Spring and Autumn Period)，孔子(Confucius)在家收弟子开坛讲学(give lectures)，引起了鲁定公的重视，经常到宫中讲学。季府的总管(general director)阳虎特地去看望孔子，孔子借故不见他。他知道孔子最讲究礼尚往来的，一次，特地给孔子留下一只烤乳猪，终于得到孔子的回访。
礼作为一种社会行为(social behavior)的规范，倡导了人与人之间的交往，而以礼的方式来交往，便会增进人情，增进社会的凝聚(cohesive force)。所以，礼物是一种以礼行为的规范物，目的是为了社会的整合。在送礼这样的日常行为中，人际行为就被社会规范化(standardization)了，不会送礼，变成了不会做人，最后形成好像是只讲人情(human relationship)的文化。当礼品不是自然真情的容器，反倒成了应有之情的容器时，就会变得包装精美，腹中空空。
Key words & Sentences
关键词句全知道
Naturally, there should be mutual concession and there should be reciprocity.
自然，双方都要作些让步，并且要礼尚往来。
Mere friendly politeness required that he should call to see Dorothea about the cottages.
单单从礼尚往来说，他也应该为村舍的事找一下多萝西娅。
As for Michaelis, he was perfect, exactly the same melancholic, attentive, aloof young fellow of the previous evening, millions of degrees remote from his hosts, but laconically playing up to them to the required amount, and never coming forth to them for a moment.
至于蔑克里斯呢，他毫不露出破绽，完全和昨天晚上一样，忧郁，专心而又冷漠，和主人主妇像远隔得几百万里路似的，只和他们礼尚往来着，却不愿自献殷勤。
We gave the Smiths a bottle of gin last Christmas, so this year they gave us a bottle of Scotch to even things up a bit.
去年圣诞节我们送给史密斯家一瓶杜松子酒，今年他们礼尚往来，给我们送了一瓶苏格兰威士忌酒。
Courtesy on one side only lasts not long.
单方面的礼貌不会持久。
Their frequent invitation places us under an obligation to invite them to our house for a change.
他们经常邀请我们，我们只好礼尚往来邀请他们到我们家。
Propriety suggests reciprocity. It is not propriety not to give out but to receive, or vice versa.
礼尚往来。往而不来，非礼也；来而不往，亦非礼也。
The exchange of gifts is a traditional Chinese thought, which is carried on till now.
礼尚往来是中国的一种传统思想，这种思想一直沿袭至今。
The traditional meaning of exchanging of gifts has changed in modern society.
礼尚往来的意思在现代已经发生了变化。
Mary refused to tell Taylor the reason, as the Chinese saying goes, Taylor won’t tell Mary the way to settle down the issue.
玛丽不告诉泰勒事情的原因，礼尚往来，泰勒也不会告诉玛丽解决问题的方法。
During holidays, we always receive lots of blessing short messages from our friends, and we’ll reply these messages in return.
过节的时候经常会受到很多朋友的祝福短信，礼尚往来我们也会回复他们。
Many foreigners regard the Chinese traditional culture of exchanging of gifts as strange behavior.
很多外国朋友认为中国礼尚往来的习俗很奇怪。
In Chinese point of view, exchange of gifts show the mutual respect and adoration among people.
在中国人看来，礼尚往来表现了人们之间的相互尊重和喜爱。
Let’s Talk！
开始交流吧！
Collins: This is the first time I’ve been in China, and everything here fascinated me. But there is something I can never figure out!
科林斯：这是我第一次来中国，这里的许多事情都令我非常着迷。但是有些事我搞不明白。
Wang Yang: What’s wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.
王洋：怎么了？有什么让你感到困惑，说出来看看我能不能帮你。
Collins: Good! You turn up so timely! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? “No, no! Don’t give me anything. Don’t be polite!” can you believe it?
科林斯：太好了！你的出现太及时了！我正想寻找一些好的解释呢。有一天我的中国朋友庆祝他的生日，所以我就问他喜欢什么样的生日礼物。你知道他说什么吗？“不不，不要给我买任何东西，不要那么客气！”你相信吗？
Wang Yang: Actually, I can well believe it. It’s a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn’t really mean refusal unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don’t easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy. And they don’t want their friends “pofei” which means to spend money. Or maybe he refuses you just because he doesn’t want to buy your gift in return.
王洋：说实话我相信。这是中国人表达谦逊和保守的方式。但是大部分人并不是真的拒绝，除非强烈地坚持。中国人通常不会轻易接受别人给予的东西，除非他为送礼的人做过事情或者关系十分亲密。他们不希望他们的朋友“破费”，意思是花钱。又或者他们拒绝你仅仅是因为不想礼尚往来。
Collins: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?
科林斯：你说的拒绝接受我的礼物是什么意思？
Wang Yang: I don’t think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being “polite”. He didn’t mean to be rude and certainly he didn’t mean to offend you.
王洋：我认为他不是真的拒绝接受你的礼物。只是表示礼貌的一种方式。他并不是无礼更不会有意冒犯你。
Collins: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?
科林斯：那么，你怎么认为呢？你觉得在这种情况下我应该怎么说或怎么做呢？
Wang Yang: In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him.
王洋：在这种情况下我建议你坚持，如果你的朋友年纪较大，你可能需要坚持多次，但即使是这样或许你也不会得到明确的答复。或许你可以直接买个礼物而不和他说。我认为他对于你买的任何礼物都会很满意。
Collins: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?
科林斯：所以你的意思是只要买了礼物就好，对吗？
Wang Yang: I think so.
王洋：我是这么认为的。
Collins: But what shall I do if he doesn’t like exchange of gift?
科林斯：但是如果他不想礼尚往来我该怎么办呢？
Wang Yang: In that case, you should not send him gift, or it will become a burden for him.
王洋：如果是这种情况，你就不要送他礼物，否则就会成为他的负担。
Collins: I know, thank you.
科林斯：我知道了，谢谢。
Chinese Hospitality中国人的待客之道
从北京奥运到上海世博、广州亚运，再到在深圳举办的世界大学生运动会，中国正迎来一个前所未有的大型国际活动举办时段。
客人常有，怎样迎接就成了一门学问。当好客的礼仪之邦遭遇蜂拥而至的外来客，急功近利展示变化后的自己，还是在“待客水平”和“待己能力”上达到适度的平衡，俨然成为国际活动频繁的当下中国必须要面对的课题。
What is hospitality
什么是待客之道
Hospitality is the relationship between guest and host, or the act or practice of being hospitable. Specifically, this includes the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers, resorts, membership clubs, conventions, attractions, special events, and other services for travelers and tourists.
Global concepts of hospitality:
Pakhtuns
The Pakhtun people of South-Central Asia, pre-dominant in the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province of Pakistan and Afghanistan have a strong code of hospitality. They are people characterized by their use of Pakhtunwali, an ancient set of ethics, the first principle of which is Milmastiya or Hospitality. The general area of Pakhtunistan is also nicknamed The Land of Hospitality.
Biblical and Middle Eastern
In Middle Eastern Culture, it was considered a cultural norm to take care of the strangers and foreigners living among you. These norms are reflected in many Biblical commands and examples.
The obligations of both host and guest are stern. The bond is formed by eating salt under the roof, and is so strict that an Arab story tells of a thief who tasted something to see if it was sugar, and on realizing it was salt, put back all that he had taken and left.
Classical World
To the ancient Greeks and Romans, hospitality was a divine right. The host was expected to make sure the needs of his guests were seen to. The ancient Greek term xenia, or theoxenia when a god was involved, expressed this ritualized guest-friendship relation.
Celtic cultures
Celtic societies also valued the concept of hospitality, especially in terms of protection. A host who granted a person’s request for refuge was expected not only to provide food and shelter to his/her guest, but to make sure they did not come to harm while under their care.
India
In India, hospitality is based on the principle Atithi Devo Bhava, meaning “the guest is God”. This principle is shown in a number of stories where a guest is literally a god who rewards the provider of hospitality. From this stems the Indian approach of graciousness towards guests at home, and in all social situations.
待客之道(hospitality)又可分为三类：
属于亲友(relatives and friends)的客人：要尊重他，礼遇(courteous reception)他，要让他有宾至如归(Guests feel at home)的感觉。
属于有关系的客人：例如工商(industrial and commercial workers)、记者(correspondent)、警察(policeman)等，要给予善意接待，尽快解决问题。
属于临时(contemporary)的客人：偶然的访问(occasional visit) ，可因人、因时、因事而定，但总要给人欢喜，给人满意。
总而言之，“相”上虽有差别，待客的诚心(sincerity)是不变的。
Key words & Sentences
关键词句全知道
That’s what hospitality is all about: making people feel at home when they’re not.
待客之道就是这样：虽然不是在家里，却使客人有宾至如归之感。
American hospitality begins at home-especially when it involves food.
美国人的待客之道从家里开始，尤其是和食物有关。
Aviation experienced international aircrew and ground taking traditional way to receive guests of Asia as service aim and cabin attendants of Dragonair, offer comfortable flight service for our passenger.
港龙航空富有经验的国际飞行人员及以传统亚洲待客之道为服务宗旨的地面及机舱服务人员，为我们的乘客提供舒适的飞行服务。
China is a hospitable nation.
中国是好客的民族。
The natives are noted for their hospitality.
当地人以殷勤好客而闻名。
I am obliged to you for your gracious hospitality.
我很感谢你的热情好客。
It was very hospitable of you to let me stay overnight.
你让我留下来过夜真是非常好客。
Hospitable host entertains guests with grapes.
好客的主人用葡萄来款待客人。
It is inhospitable to turn a stranger away.
把陌生人拒之门外不是好客的表现。
The Tibetan people are brave, strong and forthright, very kind and hospitable.
藏族人民勇敢、刚毅、豪爽，又十分善良好客。
His very clothes seem to partake of his hospitable nature.
他这身装束似乎显示了他的好客。
The hospitality of the hosts gave us a favorable impression.
主人的好客给我们留下了非常好的印象。
Whatever you may have been led to believe, France is a welcoming country.
无论怎样你都会相信法国是一个热情好客的国家。
Their honesty and hospitality left an enduring impress upon her life.
他们的诚实与好客给她留下了终生难以磨灭的印象。
Shangri-La Hotels &Resorts has always epitomized the concept of Shangri-La hospitality.
香格里拉国际酒店管理集团始终体现着殷勤好客的经营思想。
Let’s Talk！
开始交流吧！
Zhang Bo: John, you’ve been in China for half a year, what’s your impression of China?
张博：约翰，你来中国已经半年了，对中国的印象怎么样啊？
John: China is a very interesting country. There are beautiful sceneries and classic constructions. Each city has its own feature. Besides Chinese people are very hospitality.
约翰：中国是一个非常有意思的国家。这里有美丽的风景，古典的建筑。每个城市都有自己的特点。而且中国人非常热情。
Zhang Bo: Hospitality is Chinese traditional culture. People will
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