作者：[英] 乔治·格罗史密斯,威登·格罗史密斯（George Grossmith,Weedon Grossmith）
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小人物日记(外研社双语读库)试读：
CHAPTER I第一章WE SETTLE DOWN IN OUR NEW HOME, AND I RESOLVE TO KEEP A DIARY. TRADESMEN TROUBLE US A BIT, SO DOES THE SCRAPER. THE CURATE CALLS AND PAYS ME A GREAT COMPLIMENT.
我们搬了新家，我决定写日记。零售商有点烦人，刮泥板也惹出了不少麻烦。牧师光临，让我倍感荣幸。
My dear wife Carrie and I have just been a week in our new house, "The Laurels," Brickfield Terrace, Holloway—a nice six-roomed residence, not counting basement with a front breakfast-parlour. We have a little front garden; and there is a flight of ten steps up to the front door which, by-the-by, we keep locked with the chain up. Cummings, Gowing, and our other intimate friends always come to the little side entrance, which saves the servant the trouble of going up to the front door, thereby taking her from her work. We have a nice little back garden which runs down to the railway. We were rather afraid of the noise of the trains at first, but the landlord said we should not notice them after a bit, and took ￡2 off the rent. He was certainly right; and beyond the cracking of the garden-wall at the bottom, we have suffered no inconvenience.
我和亲爱的妻子卡丽搬进新家刚好一周了，新家名为“月桂园”，位于霍洛韦区布里克菲尔德街——是个舒适的六居室，不包括地下室在内，还有一个前厅，可以在那儿吃早饭。住所前有一个小花园，小花园内有一段十级台阶直通前门。顺便说一下，我们用铁链将前门锁上了。卡明斯、高英以及其他一些好朋友总从旁侧的小门进来，这样省得佣人放下手头的工作，前去给他们开门。我们还有一个漂亮小巧的后花园，直通火车道旁。一开始我和妻子很担心火车声嘈杂，但房东说我们过一阵子习惯了就察觉不到了，还少收了两英镑的房租。房东确实说得对，除了花园围墙底部有裂缝之外，我们倒没有感到其他不便之处。
After my work in the City, I like to be at home. What's the good of a home, if you are never in it? "Home, Sweet Home," that's my motto. I am always in of an evening. Our old friend Gowing may drop in without ceremony; so may Cummings, who lives opposite. My dear wife Caroline1and I are pleased to see them, if they like to drop in on us. But Carrie and I can manage to pass our evenings together without friends. There is always something to be done: a tin-tack here, a Venetian blind to put straight, a fan to nail up, or part of a carpet to nail down—all of which I can do with my pipe in my mouth; while Carrie is not above putting a button on a shirt, mending a pillowcase, or practising the "Sylvia Gavotte" on our new cottage piano (on the three years' system), manufactured by W. Bilkson (in small letters), from Collard and Collard (in very large letters). It is also a great comfort to us to know that our boy Willie is getting on so well in the Bank at Oldham. We should like to see more of him. Now for my diary:
从市里下班后，我喜欢呆在家里。要是总不在家，家还有什么用呢？“家，甜蜜的家”，这是我的座右铭。晚上，我总在家呆着，老朋友高英可能会顺便来坐坐，不拘礼节；卡明斯也是这样，他住在马路对面。如果朋友们愿意来串门，我和亲爱的妻子卡罗琳都非常乐意见他们。他们要不来，我和卡丽一起也能打发掉晚上的时间。我们总有事干：这儿钉个钉子，那儿整整百叶窗，墙上钉把扇子，钉钉翘起来的地毯——我可以嘴里含着烟斗，边抽烟边干这些事；而卡丽无外乎是钉钉衬衫扣子、补补枕套，要不就用我们新买的竖式小钢琴练习弹奏《西尔维娅加沃特舞曲》。这架竖式小钢琴是三年分期付款买的，上面标示：坷拉德兄弟公司（字体硕大）W. 比尔科森（字体稍小）生产。还有一件让我们倍感欣慰的事是知道儿子威利在奥尔德姆银行一切顺利。我们就是想多见见他。下面是我的日记：
April 3.
4月3日
Tradesmen called for custom, and I promised Farmerson, the ironmonger, to give him a turn if I wanted any nails or tools. By-the-by, that reminds me there is no key to our bedroom door, and the bells must be seen to. The parlour bell is broken, and the front door rings up in the servant's bedroom, which is ridiculous. Dear friend Gowing dropped in, but wouldn't stay, saying there was an infernal smell of paint.
零售商们上门来揽活，我答应五金商法默森，若需要钉子、工具一类的就去找他。顺便说一下，这倒提醒我了，卧室门没有钥匙，有几处的门铃也得修了。前厅的门铃坏了，还有按前门门铃，响的却是佣人屋里的铃，真是可笑。亲爱的朋友高英来串门，却不肯久留，说有股该死的油漆味。
April 4.
4月4日
Tradesmen still calling: Carrie being out, I arranged to deal with Horwin, who seemed a civil butcher with a nice clean shop. Ordered a shoulder of mutton for to-morrow, to give him a trial. Carrie arranged with Borset, the butterman, and ordered a pound of fresh butter, and a pound and a half of salt ditto for kitchen, and a shilling's worth of eggs. In the evening, Cummings unexpectedly dropped in to show me a meerschaum pipe he had won in a raffle in the City, and told me to handle it carefully, as it would spoil the colouring if the hand was moist. He said he wouldn't stay, as he didn't care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don't often make jokes.
零售商们依旧上门来揽活：卡丽出去了，我打算与浩文成交，他看起来是个有教养的肉商，肉铺干净整洁。我在他那儿定了一块羊胛，准备明天吃，试试看他那儿的东西好不好。卡丽约了黄油商鲍塞特，在他那儿定了一磅新鲜黄油、一磅半盐之类的厨房调味品，还有一先令的鸡蛋。晚上，卡明斯意外造访，让我看他在市里抽彩得来的海泡石烟斗，还告诉我触摸要小心，手潮的话会破坏它的色泽。他说不在我家呆了，不太受得了这油漆味。他出门时，被刮泥板绊倒了。必须把这刮泥板卸了，要不哪天把我给刮了。我不怎么开玩笑。
April 5.
4月5日
Two shoulders of mutton arrived, Carrie having arranged with another butcher without consulting me. Gowing called, and fell over scraper coming in. Must get that scraper removed.
结果送来了两块羊胛，是卡丽跟另一个肉商订的，之前她没跟我商量。高英来串门，进门时让刮泥板绊了一跤。必须得把刮泥板卸了。
April 6.
4月6日
Eggs for breakfast simply shocking; sent them back to Borset with my compliments, and he needn't call any more for orders. Couldn't find umbrella, and though it was pouring with rain, had to go without it. Sarah said Mr. Gowing must have took it by mistake last night, as there was a stick in the 'all that didn't belong to nobody. In the evening, hearing someone talking in a loud voice to the servant in the downstairs hall, I went out to see who it was, and was surprised to find it was Borset, the butterman, who was both drunk and offensive. Borset, on seeing me, said he would be hanged if he would ever serve City clerks any more—the game wasn't worth the candle I restrained my feelings, and quietly remarked that I thought it was possible for a City clerk to be a gentleman. He replied he was very glad to hear it, and wanted to know whether I had ever come across one, for he hadn't. He left the house, slamming the door after him, which nearly broke the fanlight; and I heard him fall over the scraper, which made me feel glad I hadn't removed it. When he had gone, I thought of a splendid answer I ought to have given him. However, I will keep it for another occasion.
早餐的鸡蛋真是糟透了，我把剩下的鸡蛋退给了鲍塞特，“表扬”了他几句，还说他不必再来找我们订货了。我找不到伞，外面瓢泼大雨，却也不得不冒雨出去。萨拉说肯定是昨晚高英先生拿错了，因为门厅里有根手杖，不知道是谁的。晚上，我听到有人在楼下门厅里跟佣人大声嚷嚷，就出去看看是谁，发现是鲍塞特那个黄油商，我很惊讶，他喝醉了，还蛮横无理。鲍塞特一看到我，就说他以后要是再为市里的职员服务，就宁愿被绞死，因为这太不值当了。我控制了一下情绪，平静地说，我觉得市里的职员也有可能是体面人。他回答说他听到这话很高兴，想知道我有没有遇到过这样的体面人，因为他从来没遇到过。他摔门而去，差点把门上的扇形窗摔坏了；紧接着，我听到他被刮泥板绊倒的动静，这让我窃喜，幸亏没把它卸掉。他走了以后，我才想到一个绝妙的回答，本来可以回敬他的。算了，留着下次用吧。
April 7.
4月7日
Being Saturday, I looked forward to being home early, and putting a few things straight; but two of our principals at the office were absent through illness, and I did not get home till seven. Found Borset waiting. He had been three times during the day to apologise for his conduct last night. He said he was unable to take his Bank Holiday2last Monday, and took it last night instead. He begged me to accept his apology, and a pound of fresh butter. He seems, after all, a decent sort of fellow; so I gave him an order for some fresh eggs, with a request that on this occasion they should be fresh. I am afraid we shall have to get some new stair-carpets after all; our old ones are not quite wide enough to meet the paint on either side. Carrie suggests that we might ourselves broaden the paint. I will see if we can match the colour (dark chocolate) on Monday.
今天是星期六，盼着早点下班回家，把几件事办妥；可公司两个负责人生病请假了，所以七点我才回到家。到家发现鲍塞特一直在等我，今天他已经来过三次了，想为昨晚的行为道歉。他说上周一的银行假日没能休成，昨晚才休。他请求我接受他的道歉，还有一磅新鲜黄油。毕竟这家伙像个正经人；所以我跟他预订了一些新鲜鸡蛋，并要求这一次必须新鲜。我觉得我们还是得买些新的楼梯地毯了，旧地毯不够宽，遮不住楼梯两边没上油漆的地方。卡丽提议，我们自己可以加宽油漆带。我看看周一能不能找到匹配的颜色（黑巧克力色）。
April 8, Sunday.
4月8日 礼拜日
After Church, the Curate came back with us. I sent Carrie in to open front door, which we do not use except on special occasions. She could not get it open, and after all my display, I had to take the Curate (whose name, by-the-by, I did not catch) round the side entrance. He caught his foot in the scraper, and tore the bottom of his trousers. Most annoying, as Carrie could not well offer to repair them on a Sunday. After dinner, went to sleep. Took a walk round the garden, and discovered a beautiful spot for sowing mustard-and-cress and radishes. Went to Church again in the evening: walked back with the Curate. Carrie noticed he had got on the same pair of trousers, only repaired. He wants me to take round the plate, which I think a great compliment.
做完礼拜后，牧师跟我们一起回到家。我让卡丽先进屋去开前门，这扇门我们都不用，除非在特殊场合。卡丽打不开门，我使尽浑身解数也还是不行，只得带牧师（顺便说一句，我不记得他的名字了）绕到侧门。他的脚让刮泥板绊了一下，裤脚被撕烂了。最让人恼火的是，卡丽在礼拜日提出给他缝补裤子也不太合适。吃完饭就睡觉了。睡觉起来去花园转了一圈，发现一块不错的地方，适合种芥菜苗和小萝卜。晚上又去了教堂，还是跟牧师一起走回来的。卡丽注意到他穿着先前穿的那条裤子，只是已经补过了。牧师让我端着募捐的盘子，我倍感荣幸。
(1)卡罗琳，即前文提到的妻子“卡丽”（Carrie），“卡丽”为“卡罗琳”的爱称。
(2)银行假日， 除周末之外的其他法定假日。这个名称起源于银行关闭以致所有交易暂停的时期。按传统，在银行假 日，许多商家都停业，以便员工们休假。CHAPTER II第二章
TRADESMEN AND THE SCRAPER STILL TROUBLESOME. GOWING RATHER TIRESOME WITH HIS COMPLAINTS OF THE PAINT. I MAKE ONE OF THE BEST JOKES OF MY LIFE. DELIGHTS OF GARDENING. MR. STILLBROOK, GOWING, CUMMINGS, AND I HAVE A LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING. SARAH MAKES ME LOOK A FOOL BEFORE CUMMINGS.
零售商和刮泥板仍然麻烦不断。高英依旧抱怨油漆味，真是烦人。我讲了有生以来最有趣的一个笑话。花园劳作，尽享乐趣。我和斯蒂尔布鲁克先生、高英、卡明斯之间有点小小的误会。萨拉让我在卡明斯面前出丑。
April 9.
4月9日
Commenced the morning badly. The butcher, whom we decided not to arrange with, called and blackguarded me in the most uncalled-for manner. He began by abusing me, and saying he did not want my custom. I simply said: "Then what are you making all this fuss about it for?" And he shouted out at the top of his voice, so that all the neighbours could hear: "Pah! go along. Ugh! I could buy up 'things' like you by the dozen! "
一大早起来就不顺。那个肉商——我们已经决定不在他那里订购东西了——平白无故地来我家耍无赖。他先是破口大骂，又说不想接我的订单了。我只说了一句：“那你现在还吵闹啥？”他扯开嗓门大声嚷嚷，这样所有的邻居都可以听到：“哼！去你的！啊！像你这样的‘东西’，我能成打成打地买！”
I shut the door, and was giving Carrie to under stand that this disgraceful scene was entirely her fault, when there was a violent kicking at the door, enough to break the panels. It was the blackguard butcher again, who said he had cut his foot over the scraper, and would immediately bring an action against me. Called at Farmerson's, the ironmonger, on my way to town, and gave him the job of moving the scraper and repairing the bells, thinking it scarcely worth while to trouble the landlord with such a trifling matter.
我关上了门，正跟卡丽说，这丢人现眼的事全都怪她，突然有猛烈的踢门声，那力气大得可以踢破门了。又是那流氓肉商，他说刮泥板刮破了他的脚，要马上去告我。去城里的路上，我顺便去了五金商法默森那里，让他把刮泥板卸掉，并把门铃修好，想来为这点琐事去麻烦房东太不值当。
Arrived home tired and worried. Mr. Putley, a painter and decorator, who had sent in a card, said he could not match the colour on the stairs, as it contained Indian carmine. He said he spent half-a-day calling at warehouses to see if he could get it. He suggested he should entirely repaint the stairs. It would cost very little more; and if he tried to match it, he could only make a bad job of it. It would be more satisfactory to him and to us to have the work done properly. I consented, but felt I had been talked over. Planted some mustard-and-cress and radishes, and went to bed at nine.
回到家又累又烦。油漆装饰工普特莱托人捎给我一张卡片，说他没法给我家楼梯配上颜色一样的油漆，因为我家楼梯的油漆中含有印度红。他说他花了半天的时间走访了各家大商店看能不能弄到。他还提议说他可以将楼梯整个重漆一遍，只多花一点点钱；如果他勉强找相似的油漆配上去，只会搞砸。要是能把这件事情办好，他和我们都会更满意。我同意了，但总有种被说服了的感觉。种了些芥菜苗和小萝卜，九点上床睡觉。
April 10.
4月10日
Farmerson came round to attend to the scraper himself. He seems a very civil fellow. He says he does not usually conduct such small jobs personally, but for me he would do so. I thanked him, and went to town. It is disgraceful how late some of the young clerks are at arriving. I told three of them that if Mr. Perkupp, the principal, heard of it, they might be discharged.
法默森亲自来处理刮泥板。他看起来很有礼貌，说一般这种小活儿通常不亲自干，但是为我会亲自上阵。我谢过他之后，去市里上班了。有些年轻职员来得很晚，真不像话。我告诉其中三个迟到的职员，要是我们头儿波卡普先生知道了，可能会炒他们鱿鱼。
Pitt, a monkey of seventeen, who has only been with us six weeks, told me "to keep my hair on!" I informed him I had had the honour of being in the firm twenty years, to which he insolently replied that I "looked it." I gave him an indignant look, and said: "I demand from you some respect, sir." He replied: "All right, go on demanding." I would not argue with him any further. You cannot argue with people like that. In the evening Gowing called, and repeated his complaint about the smell of paint. Gowing is sometimes very tedious with his remarks, and not always cautious; and Carrie once very properly reminded him that she was present.
皮特，一个十七岁的捣蛋鬼，来我们公司才六个礼拜，就告诉我要“淡定”。我告诉他，我有幸在公司干了二十年了，听了这话，他傲慢无礼地回答“看出来了”。我愤怒地瞪了他一眼说：“我拜托你放尊重点儿，先生。”他回答说：“好啊，继续拜托我啊。”我不会再和他争了。跟这样的人，没什么好争的。晚上，高英来串门，反复抱怨油漆味。他有时候说话很招人烦，也不怎么注意；有一次卡丽很得体地提醒了他一下，还有她这个主妇在场呢。
April 11.
4月11日
Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. To-day was a day of annoyances. I missed the quarter-to -nine 'bus to the City, through having words with the grocer's boy, who for the second time had the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall-door, and had left the marks of his dirty boots on the fresh-cleaned door-steps. He said he had knocked at the side-door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour. I knew Sarah, our servant, could not hear this, as she was upstairs doing the bed rooms, so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell? He replied that he did pull the bell, but the handle came off in his hand.
芥菜苗和小萝卜还没有长出来。今天真倒霉。跟杂货店的小伙计吵了几句，结果误了八点四十五到市里的公共马车。因为他鲁莽地将篮子提到了客厅门口，这已经是第二次了，还踩脏了刚擦干净的台阶。他说他用指关节在侧门敲了有十五分钟。我知道佣人萨拉听不见敲门声，因为她在楼上收拾那些卧室呢。于是我就问这小伙计为啥不拉门铃，他说他确实拉过了，但门铃把手掉下来了。
April 12.
4月12日
Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. Left Farmerson repairing the scraper, but when I came home found three men working. I asked the meaning of it, and Farmerson said that in making a fresh hole he had penetrated the gas-pipe. He said it was a most ridiculous place to put the gas-pipe, and the man who did it evidently knew nothing about his business. I felt his excuse was no consolation for the expense I shall be put to.
芥菜苗和小萝卜还没有长出来。我上班走时，让法默森在家修理刮泥板，但下班回来，发现有三个人在干活。我问这是怎么回事，法默森说他在打一个新的洞时刺穿了煤气管，还说将煤气管安在这里太荒唐了，安煤气管的人明显是个门外汉。我觉得他的托辞根本于事无补，我得面临一笔开支啊。
In the evening, after tea, Gowing dropped in, and we had a smoke together in the breakfast-parlour. Carrie joined us later, but did not stay long, saying the smoke was too much for her. It was also rather too much for me for Gowing had given me what he called a green cigar, one that his friend Shoemach had just brought over from America. The cigar didn't look green, but I fancy I must have done so; for when I had smoked a little more than half, I was obliged to retire on the pretext of telling Sarah to bring in the glasses.
晚上喝过茶以后，高英顺路来串门，我俩一起在早餐厅里抽烟。一会儿，卡丽过来了，但只呆了一小会儿，说受不了烟味儿。其实，我也受不了，因为高英给了我一支他所谓的绿雪茄，是他的朋友舒马赫刚从美国带回来的。雪茄看起来并不绿，但我猜一定是我绿了；因为我抽了刚过一半的时候，就不得不借口去叫萨拉拿玻璃杯进来，好躲出去喘口气。
I took a walk round the garden three or four times, feeling the need of fresh air. On returning Gowing noticed I was not smoking: offered me another cigar, which I politely declined. Gowing began his usual sniffing, so, anticipating him, I said: "You're not going to complain of the smell of paint again?" He said: "No, not this time; but I'll tell you what, I distinctly smell dry rot." I don't often make jokes, but I replied: "You're talking a lot of dry rot yourself." I could not help roaring at this, and Carrie said her sides quite ached with laughter. I never was so immensely tickled by anything I had ever said before. I actually woke up twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.
我觉得需要新鲜空气，就绕着花园走了三四圈。一回去，高英就发现我没在抽烟，又递给我一支，我礼貌地拒绝了。高英又开始像往常一样吸吸鼻子，我就知道他想说什么，于是我说：“你不会又要抱怨油漆味了吧？”他说：“不了，这次不说了；但我要告诉你，我明显闻到一股干腐味儿。”我一般不开玩笑，但我回答道：“是你自己说了一堆干腐的话。”我忍不住哈哈大笑，卡丽说她笑得肋骨都疼了。我以前从来没被自己的话逗得乐成这样。半夜我竟然醒来两次，一直笑到床开始打晃。
April 13.
4月13日
An extraordinary coincidence: Carrie had called in a woman to make some chintz covers for our drawing-room chairs and sofa to prevent the sun fading the green rep of the furniture. I saw the woman, and recognised her as a woman who used to work years ago for my old aunt at Clapham. It only shows how small the world is.
真是太巧了：卡丽雇来一个女工给我们客厅的沙 发和椅子做几个印花棉布套，免得太阳照得家具表面 的绿色棱纹平布褪色。我看到这个女工，认出她居然 就是多年前在克拉珀姆我大姑家干活的那个女工。这 只能说明世界真小！
April 14.
4月14日
Spent the whole of the afternoon in the garden, having this morning picked up at a bookstall for five pence a capital little book, in good condition, on Gardening. I procured and sowed some half-hardy annuals in what I fancy will be a warm, sunny border. I thought of a joke, and called out Carrie. Carrie came out rather testy, I thought.
今早在书摊上花五便士淘了一本园艺小读本，包装完好，相当不错，我一下午都呆在小花园里读它。我弄到了一些半耐寒性的一年生植物种子，将它们种下，想象着这里会成为一个狭长花坛，阳光和煦、温暖宜人。我想到了一个笑话，便把卡丽叫了出来。卡丽出来了，我觉得她一副相当不耐烦的样子。
I said: "I have just discovered we have got a lodging-house." She replied: "How do you mean?" I said: "Look at the boarders1." Carrie said: "Is that all you wanted me for?" I said: "Any other time you would have laughed at my little pleasantry." Carrie said: "Certainly—at any other time, but not when I am busy in the house." The stairs looked very nice. Gowing called, and said the stairs looked all right, but it made the banisters look all wrong, and suggested a coat of paint on them also, which Carrie quite agreed with. I walked round to Putley, and fortunately he was out, so I had a good excuse to let the banisters slide. By-the-by, that is rather funny.
我说：“我刚发现我们有一套寄宿房舍。”“为什么这样说？”卡丽问道。我回答道：“看看这些寄宿客人。”卡丽说：“你叫我出来就是为这个啊？”我说：“你其他任何时候听到我的小玩笑都会笑的。”“当然，那是其他任何时候，不是我在屋里忙的时候。”漆过的楼梯看起来很漂亮。高英来串门，说楼梯看着还不错，但这让扶栏显得不配了，所以建议将扶栏也油漆一下，卡丽非常赞成。我去找普特莱，幸好他不在，这样我就有借口让扶栏保持原样了。顺便说一下，这样挺逗的。
April 15, Sunday.
4月15日 礼拜日
At three o'clock Cummings and Gowing called for a good long walk over Hampstead and Finchley, and brought with them a friend named Stillbrook. We walked and chatted together, except Stillbrook, who was always a few yards behind us staring at the ground and cutting at the grass with his stick.
三点，卡明斯和高英来叫我，一起去汉普斯特迪和芬奇利好好走走，还带了个朋友，叫斯蒂尔布鲁克。我们走在一起，边走边聊，除了斯蒂尔布鲁克。他总落在我们后面几码，盯着路面，用手杖抽打着小草。
As it was getting on for five, we four held a consultation, and Gowing suggested that we should make for "The Cow and Hedge"2and get some tea. Stillbrook said: "A brandy-and-soda was good enough for him." I reminded them that all public-houses were closed till six o'clock. Stillbrook said, "That's all right—bona-fide travellers."
快五点的时候，我们四个商量了一下，高英提议去“奶牛藩篱”喝点茶。斯蒂尔布鲁克说：“他有一杯白兰地苏打水就够了。”我提醒大家所有酒馆六点才营业呢。斯蒂尔布鲁克来一句：“没关系，我的好旅伴们。”
We arrived; and as I was trying to pass, the man in charge of the gate said: "Where from?" I replied: "Holloway." He immediately put up his arm, and declined to let me pass. I turned back for a moment, when I saw Stillbrook, closely followed by Cummings and Gowing, make for the entrance. I watched them, and thought I would have a good laugh at their expense. I heard the porter say: "Where from?" When, to my surprise, in fact disgust, Stillbrook replied: "Blackheath," and the three were immediately admitted.
我们到了“奶牛藩篱”门口，我正要进，守门的人问：“从哪儿来啊？”我回答：“霍洛韦。”他马上抬起胳膊，不让我过去。我往回走了一阵，突然看到斯蒂尔布鲁克朝入口走去，后面紧跟着卡明斯和高英。我看着他们，想着可以好好嘲笑一番他们费的周折。我听到守门人问：“从哪儿来啊？”斯蒂尔布鲁克回答道：“布莱克西斯。”然后守门人就马上让这三个人进去了，这一幕让我诧异——实际上是恶心。
Gowing called to me across the gate, and said: "We shan't be a minute." I waited for them the best part of an hour. When they appeared they were all in most excellent spirits, and the only one who made an effort to apologise was Mr. Stillbrook, who said to me: "It was very rough on you to be kept waiting, but we had another spin for S. and B.'s." I walked home in silence; I couldn't speak to them. I felt very dull all the evening, but deemed it advisable not to say anything to Carrie about the matter.
高英隔着门冲我喊道：“我们一会儿就出来。”我等了他们将近一个钟头。他们出现时，一个个都兴致盎然，只有斯蒂尔布鲁克先生努力想向我道歉，他对我说：“让你一直等着，挺难受吧，不过这样我们才能多喝一杯白兰地苏打水。”我回家路上一言不发，跟他们没什么可说的。整个晚上，我都觉得非常无趣，但想想还是明智点吧，别跟卡丽说这事了。
April 16.
4 月16 日
After business, set to work in the garden. When it got dark I wrote to Cummings and Gowing (who neither called, for a wonder; perhaps they were ashamed of themselves) about yesterday's adventure at "The Cow and Hedge." Afterwards made up my mind not to write yet.
下班后，开始在花园里干活儿。天色渐暗，我给卡明斯和高英（奇怪了，他俩都没来串门，可能没脸见我了）就昨天在“奶牛藩篱”发生的事写信。后来还是决定不写了。
April 17.
4 月17 日
Thought I would write a kind little note to Gowing and Cummings about last Sunday, and warning them against Mr. Stillbrook. Afterwards, thinking the matter over, tore up the letter, and determined not to write at all, but to speak quietly to them. Dumbfounded at receiving a sharp letter from Cummings, saying that both he and Gowing had been waiting for an explanation of my (mind you, MY) extraordinary conduct coming home on Sunday. At last I wrote: "I thought I was the aggrieved party; but as I freely forgive you, you—feeling yourself aggrieved—should bestow forgiveness on me." I have copied this verbatim in the diary, because I think it is one of the most perfect and thoughtful sentences I have ever written. I posted the letter, but in my own heart I felt I was actually apologising for having been insulted.
想着我应该给高英和卡明斯就上周日的事情写封短信，也是好心，劝他们提防斯蒂尔布鲁克先生。后来仔细想想这事，把信撕了，决定干脆不写了，不过会悄悄跟他们说一声。卡明斯的一封来信让我目瞪口呆，他的语言尖酸刻薄，说他和高英都一直在等着我对周日回家路上我的离奇行为（注意，是“我的”）做出解释。我终于写了封信，信中这样写道：“我觉得我是受害方，但既然我大人有大量，原谅你们了；那么你们也应该原谅我，虽然你们倒觉得自己受害了。”我把这封信逐字抄到了日记里，因为我觉得这是我曾经写过的最完美、最有分寸的话。我将信寄了出去，但心里却觉得受了侮辱居然还道歉。
April 18.
4 月18 日
Am in for a cold. Spent the whole day at the office sneezing. In the evening, the cold being intolerable, sent Sarah out for a bottle of Kinahan. Fell asleep in the arm-chair, and woke with the shivers. Was startled by a loud knock at the front-door. Carrie awfully flurried. Sarah still out, so went up, opened the door, and found it was only Cummings. Remembered the grocer's boy had again broken the side-bell. Cummings squeezed my hand, and said: "I've just seen Gowing. All right. Say no more about it." There is no doubt they are both under the impression I have apologised.
感冒了，呆在家里。一整天都在办公室里打喷嚏。晚上，感冒已经让我无法忍受，于是让萨拉出去买瓶金拿汉酒。在扶手椅子上睡着了，醒来时冻得发抖。前门砰砰的敲门声吓了我一跳，卡丽惊慌失措。萨拉还没回来，所以我起身去开门，发现却是卡明斯。我想起来杂货店伙计又把侧门门铃弄坏了。卡明斯紧紧握住我的手说：“我刚刚见过高英, 没事了，什么都别提了。”毫无疑问，他们俩都觉得我已经道歉了。
While playing dominoes with Cummings in the parlour, he said: "By-the-by, do you want any wine or spirits? My cousin Merton has just set up in the trade, and has a splendid whisky, four years in bottle, at thirty-eight shillings. It is worth your while laying down a few dozen of it." I told him my cellars, which were very small, were full up. To my horror, at that very moment, Sarah entered the room, and putting a bottle of whisky, wrapped in a dirty piece of newspaper, on the table in front of us, said: "Please, sir, the grocer says he ain't got no more Kinahan, but you'll find this very good at two-and-six, with two pence returned on the bottle; and, please, did you want any more sherry? as he has some at one-and-three, all dry as a nut!"
在小客厅跟卡明斯玩多米诺骨牌的时候，他说：“顺便问一下，你想买葡萄酒或烈酒吗？我堂兄弟默顿刚开始做这一行，有上好的威士忌，四年窖藏，瓶装，三十八先令一瓶，值得买上几十瓶存着。”我告诉他我家的酒窖很小，已经满了。糟糕的是，就在这时，萨拉进屋了，将一瓶用脏报纸包着的威士忌搁到我俩前面的桌上，说：“先生，杂货店伙计说他们没有金拿汉了，不过您会觉得这个也不错，才两先令六便士，瓶子退回去还可以返两便士；请问，您还要再买些雪利酒吗？因为他们有一些只要一先令三便士一瓶，全部干得像坚果。”
(1)寄宿客人, 英语中该词与花坛"border" 为同音词，上文提到笔者想象着这里将成为一个“狭长花坛”， 由此联想到“寄宿客人”，因而开玩笑说自己家开了寄宿客房（lodging house），以达到幽默效果。
(2)奶牛藩篱，酒馆名称，历史悠久，又名"Old Bull andBush"， 位于汉普斯特迪山上。CHAPTER III第三章
A CONVERSATION WITH MR. MERTON ON SOCIETY. MR. ANDMRS. JAMES, OF SUTTON, COME UP. A MISERABLE EVENINGAT THE TANK THEATRE. EXPERIMENTS WITH ENAMELPAINT. I MAKE ANOTHER GOOD JOKE; BUT GOWING ANDCUMMINGS ARE UNNECESSARILY OFFENDED. I PAINT THEBATH RED, WITH UNEXPECTED RESULT.
跟默顿先生聊了聊社交。萨顿的詹姆斯夫妇来我家。在坦克剧场的一晚，痛苦万分。试着用了用瓷漆。我又开了一个有趣的玩笑，但把高英和卡明斯惹恼了，其实他俩没必要生气。我把浴缸涂成了红色，可万万没料到后果。
April 19.
4 月19 日
Cummings called, bringing with him his friend Merton, who is in the wine trade. Gowing also called. Mr. Merton made himself at home at once, and Carrie and I were both struck with him immediately, and thoroughly approved of his sentiments.
卡明斯来串门，带着他的朋友默顿，是做酒生意的。高英也来串门了。默顿很快就把这里当自己家了，我和卡丽马上被他的这种情绪感染了，完全赞成他的态度。
He leaned back in his chair and said: "You must take me as I am;" and I replied: "Yes—and you must take us as we are. We're homely people, we are not swells."
他靠在椅子上说：“你们千万别挑剔我。”我回答说：“不会的，你也别挑我们。我们就是普通老百姓，不是什么了不起的人物。”
He answered: "No, I can see that," and Gowing roared with laughter; but Merton in a most gentlemanly manner said to Gowing, "I don't think you quite understand me. I intended to convey that our charming host and hostess were superior to the follies of fashion, and preferred leading a simple and wholesome life to gadding about to twopenny-halfpenny tea-drinking afternoons, and living above their incomes."
他回答道：“嗯，我能看出来。”高英哈哈大笑；但默顿非常有礼貌地对高英说：“我觉得你不大明白我的意思，我是想说我们可爱的男主人和女主人比那些赶时髦的蠢家伙们强多了。他们喜欢过简朴、健康的生活，而不喜欢四处闲逛去喝两便士半的下午茶，过入不敷出的生活。
I was immensely pleased with these sensible remarks of Merton's, and concluded that subject by saying: "No, candidly, Mr. Merton, we don't go into Society, because we do not care for it; and what with the expense of cabs here and cabs there, and white gloves and white ties, etc., it doesn't seem worth the money."
默顿这番明智的评论让我感到非常高兴。就此话题，我总结道：“是的，坦白讲，默顿先生，我们不参加社交活动，是因为我们不喜欢，而且考虑到去这去那的出租马车费，还要戴白手套，扎白领带等等，不值得花那钱。”
Merton said in reference to friends, "My motto is 'Few and True'; and, by the way, I also apply that to wine, 'Little and Good.'" Gowing said: "Yes, and sometimes 'cheap and tasty,' eh, old man?" Merton still continuing, said he should treat me as a friend, and put me down for a dozen of his "Lockanbar" whisky, and as I was an old friend of Gowing, I should have it for 36s., which was considerably under what he paid for it.
谈到朋友，默顿先生说：“我的座右铭是‘少且真’；顺便说一句，我还把它运用到喝酒中，‘少且精’。”高英说：“是的，有时候就是‘价廉味美’，是吧，老伙计？”默顿接着说，他会把我当朋友，记下我的名字，给我留12 瓶他的“罗肯巴”威士忌。因为我是高英的老朋友，所以卖给我是36 先令一瓶，这比进价还要低很多。
He booked his own order, and further said that at any time I wanted any passes for the theatre I was to let him know, as his name stood good for any theatre in London.
他写下自己的订单，又说我什么时候想要剧院的票就跟他说，因为他的名字在伦敦任何一家剧院都好使。
April 20.
4月20日
Carrie reminded me that as her old school friend, Annie Fullers(now Mrs. James), and her husband had come up from Sutton for a few days, it would look kind to take them to the theatre, and would I drop a line to Mr. Merton asking him for passes for four, either for the Italian Opera, Haymarket, Savoy, or Lyceum. I wrote Merton to that effect.
卡丽提醒我说，她的老同学、老朋友安妮. 福勒斯（现在是詹姆斯太太）和丈夫要从萨顿来我们这里呆几天，要是带他们去剧院看看戏，会显得我们友好，看我能不能写封短信给默顿，向他要四张票，意大利歌剧院、干草垛剧院、萨瓦戏院或莱森戏院，哪家都行。我给默顿写信大致讲了这个意思。
April 21.
4 月21 日
Got a reply from Merton, saying he was very busy, and just at present couldn't manage passes for the Italian Opera, Haymarket, Savoy, or Lyceum, but the best thing going on in London was the Brown Bushes, at the Tank Theatre, Islington, and enclosed seats for four; also bill for whisky.
收到默顿的回信，说他很忙，正好当下弄不到意大利歌剧院、干草垛剧院、萨瓦戏院或莱森戏院的票，但伦敦时下最好的戏莫过于伊斯灵顿坦克剧院上演的《棕色灌木丛》。他随信寄来四张票，还有威士忌账单。
April 23.
4 月23 日
Mr. and Mrs. James (Miss Fullers that was), came to meat tea, and we left directly after for the Tank Theatre. We got a 'bus that took us to King's Cross, and then changed into one that took us to the "Angel." Mr. James each time insisted on paying for all, saying that I had paid for the tickets and that was quite enough.
詹姆斯先生和太太（也就是福勒斯小姐）来我们家用了午后茶点，然后我们直接前往坦克剧院。我们乘公共马车到了国王十字路口，然后转车去“安吉尔”。詹姆斯先生每次都坚持要为大家付车钱，说我已经付了戏票钱，够破费了。
We arrived at theatre, where, curiously enough, all our 'bus-load except an old woman with a basket seemed to be going in. I walked ahead and presented the tickets. The man looked at them, and called out "Mr. Willowly! do you know anything about these?" holding up my tickets. The gentleman called to, came up and examined my tickets, and said: "Who gave you these?" I said, rather indignantly: "Mr. Merton, of course." He said: "Merton? Who's he?" I answered rather sharply, "You ought to know, his name's good at any theatre in London." He replied: "Oh! is it? Well, it ain't no good here. These tickets which are not dated, were issued under Mr. Swinstead's management, which has since changed hands." While I was having some very unpleasant words with the man, James, who had gone upstairs with the ladies, called out: "Come on!" I went up after them, and a very civil attendant said: "This way, please, box H." I said to James: "Why, how on earth did you manage it?" and to my horror he replied: "Why, paid for it of course."
我们到了剧院，奇怪得很，除了一位挎篮子的老太太，我们车上其他人似乎都要进去。我走在前面，递过戏票，那个人看了看，举起我们的票大声喊道：“威鲁利先生，你知道这是怎么回事吗？”那位被招呼的先生走过来，仔细看了我们的票，说道：“这些戏票谁给你们的？”我非常生气，回答道：“当然是默顿先生。”他说：“默顿？默顿是谁？”我厉声答道：“你应该知道吧，他的名字在伦敦任何一家剧院都好使。”他回答说：“哦！是吗？可是在这里不好使。这些票没有印日期，是斯温斯特迪先生经营剧院的时候发出去的，后来剧院就易主了。”就在我跟这个人闹得不愉快的时候，已经跟女士们上了楼的詹姆斯喊道：“快上来吧！”我随他们上去，一个非常有礼貌的服务员说：“这边请，H 包厢。”我对詹姆斯说：“这是怎么回事？你究竟怎么处理的？”他的回答让我很不舒 服：“怎么回事，当然是付钱了。”
This was humiliating enough, and I could scarcely follow the play, but I was doomed to still further humiliation. I was leaning out of the box, when my tie—a little black bow which fastened on to the stud by means of a new patent—fell into the pit below. A clumsy man not noticing it, had his foot on it for ever so long before he discovered it. He then picked it up and eventually flung it under the next seat in disgust. What with the box incident and the tie, I felt quite miserable. Mr. James, of Sutton, was very good. He said: "Don't worry—no one will notice it with your beard. That is the only advantage of growing one that I can see." There was no occasion for that remark, for Carrie is very proud of my beard.
这太丢人了，我几乎看不进去戏，不过我注定了 还要丢人。我正从包厢探出身去，我的领结——一个 小的黑蝴蝶结，用一种新的专利方法别在纽扣上—— 掉到了下面正厅后排的观众席上，一个笨手笨脚的家 伙没注意就踩在了上面，好久才发现。然后他捡起 来，最后厌恶地扔在了旁边的座位下面。想着包厢和 领带的事，我感到非常难受。萨顿的詹姆斯先生可真 好，他说：“别担心，你留着胡子，没人会注意到你没 戴领带，我觉得这是留胡子的唯一好处了。”这话说 得真不合时宜，因为卡丽非常得意我的胡子。
To hide the absence of the tie I had to keep my chin down the rest of the evening, which caused a pain at the back of my neck.
为了掩饰领结掉了，那晚余下的时间里，我都低着下巴，这搞得我后颈酸疼。
April 24.
4 月24 日
Could scarcely sleep a wink through thinking of having brought up Mr. and Mrs. James from the country to go to the theatre last night, and his having paid for a private box because our order was not honoured; and such a poor play too. I wrote a very satirical letter to Merton, the wine merchant, who gave us the pass, and said, "Considering we had to pay for our seats, we did our best to appreciate the performance." I thought this line rather cutting, and I asked Carrie how many p's there were in appreciate1, and she said, "One." After I sent off the letter I looked at the dictionary and found there were two. Awfully vexed at this.
昨晚几乎没能合眼，一直在想带着从乡下来的詹姆斯夫妇去看戏的事。想着因为剧院不承认我们的免费入场券有效，竟让詹姆斯先生掏钱要了一个私人包厢，而且戏也差劲。我给默顿写了一封相当讽刺的信，就是那个给我们票的葡萄酒商。我在信中说：“考虑到我们不得不为看戏花了钱，因此我们竭尽全力欣赏了表演。”我觉得这句话非常尖刻，然后我问卡丽“欣赏”这个词有几个"p", 卡丽说“一个”。我把信寄出去以后查了查字典，发现是两个"p"，真是气死我了。
Decided not to worry myself any more about the James's; for, as Carrie wisely said, "We'll make it all right with them by asking them up from Sutton one evening next week, to play at Bezique."
决定不再让詹姆斯夫妇的事困扰我自己了，因为卡丽聪明地说：“我们下周可以挑个晚上请他们从萨顿来我们这儿玩伯齐克牌，这样不就行啦。”
April 25.
4 月25 日
In consequence of Brickwell telling me his wife was working wonders with the new Pinkford's enamel paint, I determined to try it. I bought two tins of red on my way home. I hastened through tea, went into the garden and painted some flower-pots. I called out Carrie, who said: "You've always got some new-fangled craze;" but she was obliged to admit that the flower-pots looked remarkably well. Went
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