作者：暖小昕
出版社：宁波出版社
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
每天读点好英文：这世界缺你不可试读：
喜欢自己更多一点 Liking Yourself More
佚名/Anonymous最近，我问坐在我车里的一位朋友：“你喜欢自己什么？”沉默了好几分钟后，她转向我，满脸歉意地说：“我想不出来。”我十分诧异，她竟看不到自己的任何优点。她是一个多么聪明、美丽迷人而又富有同情心的姑娘啊！我深知并非只有她一人如此，自尊心较低已成为女性最大的困扰。尽管上帝保证，他深爱着我们，但我们大多数人不能相信他是说的“我们”。就像愤世嫉俗的编辑对初出茅庐的记者说：“如果你妈妈说她爱你，那就去确认一下吧。”我已做了十二年的记者，在采访中我首先学到的是“错进，错出”。若你的初始资料有误，那么你的结论也不会正确。同理，我们看待自己也是如此。如果我们缺乏自信心，那就像是正在操作有错误的数据资料。事实上，通过许多种微妙的方式，我们的信心被文化、家庭、朋友甚至是精神生活共同削弱。我们成长的家庭缺乏肯定、鼓励和尊重，而这些正是建立自信的基石。于是，我们发现，自己所处的世界推崇好莱坞二流明星和芭比娃娃的形象。我们的薪水、头衔或者其他人为的标准让我们临时步入所谓的上流社会。但是，在内心深处，我们知道它并不真实，那通往真实的道路到底在哪里呢？我有科技恐惧症，我的哥哥对此却极有天赋，他能读懂操作手册、修理东西、使用电脑。当我为了找工作第一次学习使用电脑时，我就坚信自己毕生都学不会它。我痛苦而又清醒地记得，在电脑初学者培训班里，老师让我们“按任意键”，我徒劳地寻找“任意”键。那堂课终于结束后，我敢确信，自己连开车回家的能力都没有了，第二天打扮得体地去上班就更不可能了，尽管事实上我拥有一栋房子，一个家庭，有一份工作，是一个专业的职员。为什么会觉得如此丢脸呢？因为，与隔壁那个10岁的小女孩相比，她轻轻松松地在网上搜索期末成绩，而我煞费苦心只是想上网。我不认为科技能力不是我的强项，而是得出自己很愚蠢这样的结论，这是不正确的。我们怎样尊重别人，别人就会同样地尊重我们。这就是不自信会暗示别人不要相信我们的原因。多年来，我努力学习优雅地接受恭维。如果有人夸赞我的头发，我会不予理会。我会说，我的发型让我的脸看起来更胖了，或者我的头发是灰色的。我真正想说的是，肯定会有不足之处，我不值得您称道。我不喜欢自己，也不相信您会真正喜欢。问题是，如果我们一味贬低自己，最终别人也会相信我们所说的是对的。有时候，错误的信息不是问题，而是我们对自己或处境要有一个正确的判断。但是，别人一旦质疑，我们就屈从了。几年前，我发现自己左胸上长了一个葡萄状的硬块。我的医生立刻安排了一次外科手术。一个月以后，当我继续做定期体检时，我感觉在那个地方又发现了相同的硬块，我确定有。当我打电话给医生，跟他讨论他可能没有切除掉硬块时，他坚持说我错了，不可能有一个硬块，他说，因为他已经切除了。毕竟，他是医生。我挂掉电话，怀疑自己手的感觉。但是，对死亡的恐惧促使我鼓起勇气，坚持让他给我重新检查，最后他极不情愿地指着那个地方承认了，是的，它好像还是原来的那个硬块。他再次动外科手术切除了它。对我来说，我必须坦白承认，我很愚蠢，因为我不懂技术方面的东西。但是，承认这个事实后，我的确是一个相当聪明的人。只是令我悲伤的是，不论多少课程或者培训都不能完全解决我的技术缺陷。另一个不正确的观点是，我自认为很自私，因为我只生了一个孩子。事实上，生我女儿时我差点丧命，而且，我的丈夫不想收养。许多年来我依然觉得自己是个不称职的母亲，就像我应该相信上帝会在以后的分娩中保佑我一样。对我而言，现在我相信，一个孩子正是上帝的旨意。我拒绝受到谴责。不过，我对于自己不能实现满屋子孩子的愿望，仍感到悲哀。Recently I turned to a friend who was riding in my car and asked her, “What do you like about yourself? ” We rode in silence for several minutes. Finally, she turned to me and said, apologetically , “I can' t think of anything.”
I was stunned. My friend is intelligent, charming, and compassionate—yet she couldn' t see any of that.
I know she' s not alone. Low self-esteem has become the number-one issue plaguing women. Despite God' s assurance that he' s absolutely crazy about us, most of us can' t believe he means us. It' s like the cynical editor who tells the cub reporter, “If your mother says she loves you, check it out.”
I was a reporter for 12 years. One of the first things I learned in researching a story was “garbage in, garbage out”. If your raw data is flawed, you end up with a faulty conclusion. The same is true with how we see ourselves. If we lack self-confidence, maybe we' re working with flawed data.
The reality is, in hundreds of subtle ways, our culture, family, friends—even our thought life—conspire to undermine our confidence. We grow up in families void of affirmation, encouragement, and respect—the building blocks to selfconfidence. Then we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a world that lionizes Size Two Hollywood starlets and Barbie-doll figures. Our paycheck, our title, or some other artificial yardstick gives us temporary entree into the world of The Accepted. But in our hearts, we know it isn' t real. How do we find our way to the truth?
I' m technophobia. My brother got all the genes required to understand operating manuals, to repair things, or to make sense of computers. When I first had to learn how to use a computer for my job, I was convinced it was the end of life as I knew it.
I remember with painful clarity a beginner' s computer class where the instructor told us to “press any key”. I searched in vain for the “any” key. By the end of the class, I was certain I wasn' t smart enough to drive myself home, much less dress for work the next day. This was despite the fact that I managed a home, a family, a job, and a professional staff.
Why was it so humiliating? Because I compared myself to the 10-year-old girl next door who effortlessly surfed the Net to research her term papers while I struggled just to log on. Instead of simply concluding that technical prowess is not one of my strengths, I concluded I must be stupid. It was a lie.
People respect us as much as we respect ourselves. That' s why the absence of self-confidence can telegraph to others not to believe in us.
For years I struggled to receive a compliment graciously. If someone complimented my hair, I' d discount it. I' d say my hairstyle made my face look fat or that my hair was a mousy color. What I really meant was, there must be some mistake. I' m not worth your regard. I don' t like myself and can' t really believe you do, either. The trouble is, if we persist in putting ourselves down, eventually people start to believe we' re right.
Sometimes the problem isn' t faulty data. We have an accurate picture of ourselves or a situation, but we capitulate the first time someone challenges us.
Several years ago, I discovered a grape-sized lump on my left breast. My doctor scheduled outpatient surgery right away. A month later, when I resumed periodic self-examination, I felt the same lump in the same hard-to-reach place. I was certain of it! When I called the doctor to suggest he might have missed the lump in question, he insisted I was wrong. It could not possibly be a lump, he said, because he had removed it. After all, he was the doctor.
I got off the phone, doubting what I' d felt with my own hand. But fear of lethal consequences gave me the courage to insist he re-examine me, at which point he reluctantly acknowledged that, yes, it did seem to be the original lump. He removed it in a second surgery.
In my case, I had to confess that I was stupid because I didn' t understand technical things. Yet, even after acknowledging that I' m actually a pretty intelligent person, I still had to grieve the fact that no amount of classes or training would ever completely solve my technical ineptitude!
Another lie I believed about myself was that I' d been selfish for having only one child. The truth is, I nearly died giving birth to my daughter, and my husband didn' t want to adopt. Still, I spent years feeling like an inferior mother—like I should have trusted God to protect me in subsequent childbirth.
I now believe that—in my case—one child was God' s will for me. I' ve rejected the condemnation. Nevertheless, I had to grieve that I' d never have the houseful of children I' d always wanted.
人性的弱点 Man Is the Causer of His Circumstances
詹姆斯·艾伦/James Allen人们感兴趣的并不是他们想要什么东西，而是他们想要成为什么样的人。在任何时刻，他们的胡思乱想、心血来潮和野心勃勃都可能遭遇打击，然而不管肮脏还是纯洁，他们内心的思想和欲望都会自然而然地滋长起来。“命运之神”就藏在我们心里，它其实就是我们自己。能约束人类的只有人类自己：思想和行为是命运的狱卒——囚禁那些思想卑贱的人；与此同时，它们也是自由的天使——解放那些品德高尚的人。一个人所期盼和祈求的东西并不能如愿，他所得到的只是应得的。唯有思想和行为和谐一致时，他的期盼和祈求才会得到回应和满足。既然事实如此，那么“与环境抗争”又有什么意义呢？它是指在一个人不断对抗外来压力时，心中却又一直滋长并留存着产生这种压力的思想。这种思想要么有意识地堕落，要么无意地被削弱。但不管是哪一种，它总是顽固地妨碍着一个人的发展，因此需要提醒他去矫正。人们总是迫切希望改善环境，却从不肯改变自己。所以，他们做什么事都是麻烦不断。一个勇于自我反省的人在实现理想目标的道路上永远不会失败。这是一个恒久不变的真理。即使一个人唯一的目标就是获得财富，他也要在实现目标之前随时做好付出巨大牺牲的准备。那么，一个人要实现幸福、美满的人生，又要付出多大的代价呢？假如有一个非常贫困的人，他迫不及待地想改善他的环境、享受舒适的生活，却又总是逃避工作，以薪水太低为借口欺骗老板。这样的人连真正致富的最简单基本的原则都不懂。他不但不能摆脱自己的悲惨处境，相反，因为沉迷于懒惰、欺骗和懦弱的思想中，他只会陷入更加悲惨的境地。假如有一个富人，他因为暴饮暴食而长期饱受痛苦、疾病的折磨，他愿意付出大笔金钱来消除这种痛苦，却不肯放弃自己贪吃的欲望，他既想满足自己的口腹之欲，又想保持健康。像这样的人，完全不可能拥有健康，因为他不懂得健康生活的最基本原则。假如有一个老板以欺骗的手段来逃避支付正常的薪水，更有甚者，为了牟取更大的利润而克扣工人的薪水，像这样的人是绝对不会发财的。当他发现自己既损毁了名誉又丧失了钱财的时候，他会抱怨环境，却不知道困境完全是自己造成的。我在这里讲了三个例子，仅仅是为了证明一个真理：人就是自己环境的创造者（尽管几乎总是在无意识的状态下）。Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. Their whims, fancies and ambitions are thwarted at every step, but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food, be it foul or clean. The “divinity that shapes our ends” is in ourselves; it is our very self. Only himself manacles man: thought and action are the gaolers of fate—they imprison, being base; they are also the angels of freedom—they liberate, being noble. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions.
In the light of this truth, what, then, is the meaning of “fighting against circumstances? ” It means that a man is continually revolting against an effect without, while all the time he is nourishing and preserving its cause in his heart. That cause may take the form of a conscious vice or an unconscious weakness; but whatever it is, it stubbornly retards the efforts of its possessor, and thus calls aloud for remedy.人们感兴趣的并不是他们想要什么东西，而是他们想要成为什么样的人。
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is as true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose sole object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life?
Here is a man who is wretchedly poor. He is extremely anxious that his surroundings and home comforts should be improved, yet all the time he shirks his work, and considers he is justified in trying to deceive his employer on the ground of the insufficiency of his wages. Such a man does not understand the simplest rudiments of those principles which are the basis of true prosperity, and is not only totally unfitted to rise out of his wretchedness, but is actually attracting to himself a still deeper wretchedness by dwelling in, and acting out, indolent, deceptive, and unmanly thoughts.
Here is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony. He is willing to give large sums of money to get rid of it, but he will not sacrifice his gluttonous desires. He wants to gratify his taste for rich and unnatural viands and have his health as well. Such a man is totally unfit to have health, because he has not yet learned the first principles of a healthy life.
Here is an employer of labor who adopts crooked measures to avoid paying the regulation wage, and, in the hope of making larger profits, reduces the wages of his workpeople. Such a man is altogether unfitted for prosperity, and when he finds himself bankrupt, both as regards reputation and riches, he blames circumstances, not knowing that he is the sole author of his condition.
I have introduced these three cases merely as illustrative of the truth that man is the causer（though nearly always is unconsciously）of his circumstances.
自律才有自由 Self-control
佚名/Anonymous自制力是获取幸福和成就事业不可或缺的能力。它根植于自尊，掌控着所有美德。一个人如果屈从于自己的情感冲动，便会从此失去精神自由。自律能使人更勤奋、更理性地追求成功。历史上的许多伟人都具有一种品质，即自律。日常生活中，人们同样需要具有这种特质。想要成为领袖的人，首要条件就是要克制自己，每当激动万分或气愤不已时，便是检验自律能力之时。此刻，人们首先要做的就是平心静气。当今社会特别需要人培养这种特性。一些没有受过良好教育或培训的年轻人仓促进入商界后，做事急躁而毫无成效。和逞英雄相比，耐性更能检验人的品性。我们应该适当地自我反省。只有做到自知，才能做到自律。然而，反省过多会导致精神病态，过少则会让我们粗心大意、草率行事。确定能增强自制力的方案有两种，一是注重良知，二是心怀善意。一个人要想在事业上取得成功，就必须很好地把握和控制自己的所有才能；他们必须受到良好的教育和训练，这样才能愉悦地迅速学会服从自身的意愿。Self-control is essential to happiness and usefulness. It is the master of all the virtues, and has its root in self-respect. Let a man yield to his impulses and passions, and from that moment he gives up his moral freedom.
It is the self-discipline of a man that enables him to pursue success with superior diligence and sobriety. Many of the great characters in history illustrate this trait. In ordinary life the application is the same. He who would lead must first command himself. The time of test is when everybody is excited or angry, then the well-balanced mind comes to the front.
There is a very special demand for the cultivation of his trait at present. The young men who rush into business with no good education or drill will do poor and feverish work. Endurance is a much better test of character than act of heroism.
A fair amount of self-examination is good. Self-knowledge is a preface to self-control. Too much self-inspection leads to morbidness; too little conducts to careless and hasty action. There are two things which will surely strengthen our self-control. One is attention to conscience; the other is a spirit of good will. The man who would succeed in any great undertaking must hold all his faculties under perfect control; they must be disciplined and drilled until they quickly and cheerfully obey the will.
一座好谷仓 It Wasa Good Barn
佚名/Anonymous昔日的友情逐渐淡漠，曾经的亲密无间，如今只有剑拔弩张了。现在，强烈的自尊心让我无法拿起电话。后来，有一天，我去拜访另一位老朋友，他做了多年的外交官和法律顾问，他的书房里堆放着上千本书籍。我们坐在那里无话不谈，从小型计算机聊到了贝多芬历经磨难的一生。最后，话题又转到友谊上，谈到现在的友情似乎很容易变质，我举例提到了自己的经历。朋友说：“关系是神秘的，有些能耐久，有些却易破裂。”他凝视着窗外那郁郁葱葱的弗蒙特山丘，指着附近的一个农场说道：“那儿曾是一个大谷仓。”我看到，在一栋红木屋旁，有一个庞大建筑物的地基。“它是一座坚固的建筑物，大概建于19世纪70年代。因为人们往中西部更富饶的地区迁移，它就像这儿的许多建筑物一样，慢慢地塌陷了。这个谷仓无人照管，仓顶需要维修了，雨水流到屋檐下，渗进柱子和横梁里。”“有一天，刮起了大风，整个谷仓开始摇晃起来，刚开始，你能听到那种吱吱的响声，就像古老的木制帆船所发出来的声音，然后是一连串刺耳的断裂声，紧接着是巨大的轰鸣声，转眼间，它就成了一堆碎裂的木头了。”“暴风雨过后，我下山去看，发现这些漂亮的老橡木还是那么结实。我问当时谷仓的主人是怎么回事。他说，估计是雨水渗进了木钉孔里，而正是这些木钉使它们结合在一起的。这些钉子一旦腐烂，巨大的横梁就没法连接了。”我们向山下望去，昔日的谷仓如今就只剩下一个地窖口和一堆丁香灌木丛了。我的朋友说，他反复琢磨这件事，终于认识到，建造谷仓和建立友谊之间有些相似之处：不论你多么强大，不论你的成就多么辉煌，只有在与他人交往的过程中，你才有长久的价值。“要创造健全的生活，就应该为他人服务，同时发挥自身的潜能。”他说，“必须记住，没有他人的支持，不论你的力量多么强大，也不可能持久。孤身挺进，势必栽跟头。”“关系就像谷仓顶一样，需要精心维护。”他补充道，“不通信，不表示感谢，就会有损于彼此间的信任，使争执得不到解决。所有这些行为就像雨水渗进钉子眼里，削弱了横梁之间的连接力。”朋友摇了摇头，说：“这是一座好谷仓，只要好好维护，不需要花多少精力就能保存下来。而现在，也许再也不能重建了。”黄昏时分，我准备离开了。“你不想借用一下我的电话吗？”他说。“是的，”我说，“我想，我非常希望。”An old friendship had grown cold. Where once there had been closeness, there was only strain. Now pride kept me from picking up the phone.
Then one day I dropped in on another old friend who' s had a long career as a minister and counselor. We were seated in his study—surrounded by maybe a thousand books and fell into deep conversation about everything from small computers to the tormented life of Beethoven.
The subject finally turned to friendship and how perishable it seems to be these days. I mentioned my own experience as an example. “Relationships are mysteries, ” my friend said, “Some endure. Others fall apart.”
Gazing out his window to the wooded Vermont hills, he pointed toward a neighboring farm, “Used to be a large barn over there.” Next to a red-frame house were the footings of what had been a sizable structure.
“It was solidly built, probably in the 1870s. But like so many of the places around here, it went down because people left for richer lands in the Midwest. No one took care of the barn. Its roof needed patching; rainwater got under the eaves and dripped down inside the posts and beams.”
“One day a high wind came along, and the whole barn began to tremble. You could hear this creaking, first, like old sailing ship timbers, and then a sharp series of cracks and a tremendous roaring sound. Suddenly it was a heap of scrap lumber.”
“After the storm blew over, I went down and saw these beautiful, old oak timbers, solid as could be. I asked the fellow who owns the place what had happened. He said he figured the rainwater had settled in the pinholes, where wooden dowels held the joints together. Once those pins were rotted, there was nothing to link the giant beams together.”
We both gazed down the hill. Now all that was left of the barn was its cellar hole and its border of lilac shrubs.
My friend said he had turned the incident over and over in his mind, and finally came to recognize some parallels between building a barn and building a friendship: no matter how strong you are, how notable your attainments, you have enduring significance only in your relationship to others.
“To make your life a sound structure that will serve others and fulfill your own potential, ” he said, “you have to remember that strength, however massive, can' t endure unless it has the interlocking support of others. Go it alone and you' ll inevitably tumble.”
“Relationships have to be cared for, ” he added, “like the roof of a barn.Letters unwritten, thanks unsaid, confidences violated, quarrels unsettled—all this acts like rainwater seeping into the pegs , weakening the link between the beams.”
My friend shook his head. “It was a good barn. And it would have taken very little to keep it in good repair. Now it will probably never be rebuilt.”
Later that afternoon I got ready to leave. “You wouldn' t like to borrow my phone to make a call, I don' t suppose? ” he asked.
“Yes, ” I said, “I think I would. Very much.”
青春常在 On the Feeling of Immortality in Youth
威廉·赫兹里特/William Hazlitt没有一个年轻人相信自己会死。这句话是我哥哥说的，它真算得上一句妙语。年轻人有一种永生之感——它似乎能弥补一切。拥有青春的人就好像是一尊不朽的神灵。一半的生命已经流走，而蕴藏着无尽宝藏的另一半生命还没有明确的下限，因此我们对它也就抱着无穷的希望和幻想。我们把未来的时代完全据为己有——无限辽阔的远景在我们面前展现着。年老、死亡只不过是空话，没有任何意义。我们听了，并没有放在心上，如同拂过我们的一缕风。这些事，别人或许经历过，或者可能就要经历——但是我们自己“享受着令人着迷的生命”，对于诸如此类脆弱的念头，统统会轻蔑地一笑了之。像是刚刚走上愉快的旅程，极目远眺——向远方的美景欢呼！这时我们会觉得好风景应接不暇，如果往前走的话，还会有更多美不胜收的新鲜景致。在这生活的开端，我们听任自己的志趣驰骋，放手给它们一切满足的机会。到此时为止，我们还没有碰上过什么障碍，也没有感觉到什么疲倦，因而觉得可以一直这样向前走去，直到永远。我们看到四周一派新天地——生机勃勃，变动不息，日新月异；我们觉得自己充满活力，精神高涨，可与宇宙并驾齐驱。而且，眼前也没有任何迹象可以表明，在大自然的发展过程中，我们自己也会落伍、衰老、掉进坟墓。年轻人天性单纯，可以说是茫然无知，总有青春常在之感，因而将自己跟大自然画上等号，并且由于缺少经验，感情旺盛，总是以为自己也能像大自然一样永生。我们在世界上只是暂时栖身，却一厢情愿、痴心妄想地竟把它当作天长地久的结合，好像没有冷漠、争吵、离别的蜜月。就像婴儿带着微笑入睡一样，我们躺在用自己天真的幻想所编织成的摇篮里，宇宙的万籁之声将我们催眠；我们高兴而急切地畅饮生命之泉，怎么也不会饮干，它好像永远是满满欲溢的：包罗万象纷至沓来，各种欲望随之而生，我们没有时间去思考死亡！无限辽阔的远景在我们面前展现着。No young man believes he shall ever die. It was a saying of my brother' s, and a fine one. There is a feeling of Eternity in youth, which makes us amend for everything. To be young is to be as one of the Immortal Gods. One half of time indeed is flown—the other half remains in store for as with all its countless treasures;for there is no line drawn, and we see no limit to our hopes and wishes. We make the coming age our own—
The vast, the unbounded prospect lies before us.
Death, old age, are words without a meaning, that pass by us like the idle air which we regard not. Others may have undergone, or may still be liable to them—we “bear a charmed life”, which laughs to scorn all such sickly fancies. As in setting out on a delightful journey, we strain our eager gaze forward—
Bidding the lovely scenes at distance hail.
And see no end to the landscape, new objects presenting themselves as we advance; so, in the commencement of life, we set no bounds to our inclinations, nor to the unrestricted opportunities of gratifying them. We have as yet found no obstacle, no disposition to flag; and it seems that we can go on so forever. We look round in a new world, full of life, and motion, at ceaseless progress; and feel in ourselves all the vigour and spirit to keep pace with it, and do not foresee from any present symptoms how we shall be left behind in the natural course of things, decline into old age, and drop into the grave. It is the simplicity, and as it were abstractedness of our feelings in youth, that (so to speak) identifies us with nature, and (our experience being slight and our passions strong) deludes us into a belief of being immortal like it. Our short-lived connexion with existence we fondly flatter ourselves, is all indissoluble and lasting union—a honeymoon that knows neither coldness, jar, nor separation. As infants smile and sleep, we are rocked in the cradle of out wayward fancies, and lulled into security by the roar of the universe around us—we quaff the cup of life with eager haste without draining it, instead of which it only overflows the more-objects press around us, filling the mind with their magnitude and with the throng of desires that wait upon them, so that we have no room for the thoughts of death...
和自己沟通 Power of Self Talk
佚名/Anonymous生活如同一个摇摆在快乐和悲伤之间的大秋千。当我们处于悲伤的下坡时，又开始向快乐的上坡进军。沮丧时，我们会伤心地跌入绝望之谷，能摆脱这种困境的人是战胜悲伤的胜者。当你感觉情绪欠佳时，失落和困惑之感便会油然而生，此时是你最困难的时期，用自我交谈的方式能有效地鼓舞自己。自我交谈，事实上就是和自己说话，它能有效地探索灵魂。与自己说话时，谈话内容受良心的支配，因此我们很难撒谎。自我交谈能有效地了解自己的想法，强烈地影响我们的思想。我们的大脑如耳朵一样会接收来自思想的信息，反复鼓舞的话语能对大脑的反应进行有效的调节。自我交谈是一种软件，当它被适当地装入我们的思想时，便能指导我们得到好的结果并拥有健康的心态。事实上，别人常会建议我们在学习、体育运动和生活等方面做得更好。我们总会对他们的唠叨感到厌烦，对他们建设性的意见充耳不闻，因为那些声音并非发自我们内心。若它们发自内心，我们就会全身心投入进去。所以说，与自己交谈能使我们的现状有所改善。每个人都是优点缺点兼而有之。我们不愿在公众面前承认，我们也知道自己个人生活的许多方面是可以做得更好的。这样会使“通过自我交谈能使我们趋于完善”这一观点在现实生活中得以实现。如果你性格内向，想和邻居、朋友一样成为善于交际的人，你需要做的就是和自己交谈。诚挚而满怀感情地对自己说：“我能和他一样，我是个天生的演讲家。我的确喜欢人们，喜欢随心所欲地与大家畅谈。我必须时刻准备好聆听或发言。”如果你爱一个人，并想让他或她知道，那么就告诉自己：“我全身心地爱她，我清楚，她是我的唯一。倘若不让她知道，这对我来说不公平。每个人都希望得到别人的爱，她也不例外。”这不过是我举的一些例子，如何去表白由你自己决定。若你对做好一切很有信心，那没有比自我交谈更好的激励方法了。因此，开始与自我交谈吧。生活如同一个摇摆在快乐和悲伤之间的大秋千。Life is like a big swing, dangling between the depths of happiness and sadness. As soon as we descend down the slope of sadness, we accelerate over the ever-feel-good acclivity of happiness. At times of distress, when we are down we slip over an abyss of emotional trauma and frustrations. One who can rise above the occasion, is the architect of many wins over sorrows.
To come above tougher times you have to pep yourself up, when you are feeling low, lost and confused. This can be done effectively by self-talk. Self-talk is a way of talking to oneself. It can be effectively
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