作者：暖小昕
出版社：北京联合出版公司
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
人生明白要趁早：汉英对照试读：
接受不完美的人生 The Missing Piece
佚名 / Anonymous很久以前，一个圆失去了一角。圆想做回完整的自己，于是四处寻找那遗失的一角。但它不再是一个整圆，因此只能慢慢地滚动。它在和煦的阳光下，欣赏着路边鲜艳的花儿，与虫儿聊着天。它遇到了许多不同的角，但都不适合自己，于是将它们扔在路边，继续寻找。最终，它发现了一块最适合自己的角，兴奋不已。现在它是一个完整的圆了，不再残缺不全。它与那一角组合在一起开始滚动。它现在是一个完美的圆，因此能够快速地滚动，快到无法再欣赏美丽的花儿，不能与虫儿聊天了。当它明白速度提高之后的世界是多么不同时，它停了下来，将那一角扔在了路旁，缓慢地离开了。
我认为，这个故事告诉我们，从一种不同于以往的意义上来讲，缺憾也是一种完整。拥有一切的人在某些方面却是极度贫穷的。他永远无法知道何为向往与期盼，也不懂得用更好的梦想来滋润他的心灵。
一个人的完整在于他能为自己的极限让步，有足够的勇气放弃超乎现实的梦想，且并不因此灰心沮丧。一个男人和一个女人的完整在于他或她能坚强地走过困境，可以在失去亲人后依然能保持完整。
生活不是上帝为了责备我们的失败而设的圈套。生活也不是拼写比赛，无论你答对多少词，只要拼错一个，就丧失了比赛资格。生活更如棒球季候赛，最佳球队也许会输掉比赛三分之一的分数，而最差的球队也会有光辉灿烂的一天。我们的目标就是赢多输少。
接受不完美也是人生的一部分道理，这样我们就能在人生的道路上滚动前行并欣赏周围的一切，我们可以达到他人只能向往的圆满。我相信，那就是上帝对我们的要求——不是“完美”，也不是“毫无过错”，而是“圆满”。
如果我们勇敢地去爱，接受宽恕，大方地将快乐带给他人，清楚地明白所有的爱都围绕在我们身边，我们就能达到圆满，那是其他生物所无从知晓的。
Once a circle missed a wedge. The circle wanted to be whole, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice the flowers or talking to the worms. When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away.
The lesson of the story, I suggested, was that in some strange sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better.
There is a wholeness about the person who has come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, he or she can lose someone and still feel like a complete person.
Life is not a trap set for us by God so that he can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee, where no matter how many words you've gotten right, you're disqualified if you make one mistake. Life is more like a baseball season, where even the best team loses one-third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose.
When we accept that imperfection is part of being human, and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciate it, we will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to. That, I believe, is what God asks of us--not“Be perfect”, not“Don't even make a mistake”, but“Be whole”.
If we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another's happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough love to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.
五条法则，与快乐相遇 Five Simple Rules
佚名 / Anonymous记住以下五条简单的快乐法则：
1. 让心灵从憎恨中解脱；
2. 让情绪从焦虑中解脱；
3. 简单地生活；
4. 更多地付出；
5. 更少地期待。
没有人能回到过去，重新开始，但谁都可以从现在开始，开创一个崭新的未来。
上帝并未承诺我们的日子不会痛苦，没有悲伤只有欢笑，没有雨天只有阳光。但是他给予了我们生活的力量，安慰了我们痛苦的心灵，也照亮了我们前行的方向。
失望就像人生道路上的山丘，它们使你前行的脚步迟缓，但是，一旦越过它们，你便踏上了坦途。不要在山丘上停留太久，继续前进！当你为得不到渴求的东西而沮丧时，请坚持你的渴求，并快乐地等待，因为上帝正在考虑让更好的事降临到你头上。不论发生什么事，不管是好是坏，思考它的意义吧。生活的目的是教会你如何开心更多，伤心更少。你不能强求他人爱上你，你只能力求做一个值得别人爱的人，剩下就看他人是否认可你的价值了。衡量爱的标准就是爱的时候不去衡量。生活中，遇到你爱的并且爱你的人并不容易。因而，一旦遇到了，请一定要珍惜，这样的机会不可能有第二次。为你所爱的人放弃自己的骄傲，要比为了骄傲而失去你所爱的人好得多。我们花太多的时间寻找真爱，挑剔爱人的缺点。事实上，我们应全身心地为爱付出。
当你真正在乎一个人时，就不会对他吹毛求疵，不会找借口，也不会挑他的过错。相反，你会原谅他的过错，接受他的缺点，忽略他的借口。
不要与老朋友断绝往来，没有人能够替代他。要知道，友谊如酒，越久越醇。
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred;
2. Free your mind from worries;
3. Live simply;
4. Give more;
5. Expect less.
No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God don't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He do promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.
Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on!
When you feel down because you didn't get what you wanted, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better to give you.
When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is being someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.
It's better to lose your pride to the one you love than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, and you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you forgive the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.
收集幸福 Happiness Is All around Us
佚名 / Anonymous生活就像一条被鲜花、蝴蝶和鲜果簇拥的曲折小径，我们没有必要绕弯路去别处找寻幸福，幸福就在我们脚下。
我们都期望得到那只“金罐子”，那里承载着全部持久的幸福，我们想用这些去充实自己的生活，却忽视了那些看似无益于实现远大抱负或不能使成功一蹴而就之事。
幸福就在我们身边，只是它总是一点一滴地出现。只要我们收集每一个颗粒，不久便会集满一篮。
此刻，那些围绕在我周围的点点滴滴的幸福又是什么样的呢？
Life is like a winding path surrounded by flowers, butterflies, and delicious fruit, but many of us spend much time looking for happiness around the next corner. We do not bend to enjoy the happiness which is ours for the taking just at our feet.
In our desire to reach the“pot of gold”, complete and lasting happiness, we all want to fill our lives. We ignore anything which doesn't seem worthy of such a large ambition, or which can't give us the whole thing all at once.
Happiness is all around us, but it often comes in small grains. When we gather it grain by grain, we soon have a basketful.
What small pieces of happiness surround me right now?
让你幸福的七个建议 Good Advice to Help You Live Happily
佚名 / Anonymous1. 犯错没关系
每个人都会犯错。即使犯了错，我仍然是一个优秀的、有价值的人。犯错后，没必要惴惴不安。我一直都在努力，即使犯了错，我还是会继续努力。我能正确对待犯错，别人犯错也没什么大不了的。既然我会接受自己犯错，也就会接受别人犯错。
2. 并非人人都得爱我
不是每个人都得爱我，或者喜欢我。我不必喜欢我认识的每一个人，那么为什么其他人都应该喜欢我呢？我很乐意被人喜欢或被人爱，如果有人不喜欢我，我仍然会活得很好，也觉得自己很好。我不能强求别人喜欢我，正如别人也不能强求我喜欢他。我不需要总是被认可。即使别人不认同我，我仍然会活得很好。
3. 不必事必躬亲
即使事情与我所想象的不同，我也照样生活。我会接受事情本来的样子，接受人们本来的面貌，也接受真实的自我。如果我不能让事情成为我想要的样子，也没必要不安。我没有理由要喜欢一切事物。即使我不喜欢它，仍能与之共存。
4. 对自己的每一天负责
我对自己的感觉和自己所做的事负责。没有人能影响我的感觉。如果我浑浑噩噩地过了一天，是我对自己的放任；如果我某天过得很充实，是自己态度积极，应受嘉奖。其他人没有义务作出改变来让我感觉更好。我才是掌握自己命运的人。
5. 出了问题我能处理
我不需要时刻担心事情会出错。事情一般都会顺利进行，即使不能顺利进行时，我也能处理好。我没必要浪费精力去焦虑。天不会塌下来，一切都会好的。
6. 我能行
我不需要别人来帮忙处理问题，我能行。我能照顾好自己，能自己作出决定，能独立思考。我没有必要依靠别人来照顾我。
7. 我能随机应变
一件事的做法不止一种，不止一个人有行得通的好办法，也没有哪一种方法是万全之策。每个人都有好主意。有些可能对我更有帮助，每个人的观点都有可取之处，每个人都可以想出一些好办法。
1. It is Okay to Make Mistakes
Making mistakes is something we all do, and I am still a fine and worthwhile person when I make them. There is no reason for me to get upset when I make a mistake. I am trying, and if I make a mistake, I am going to continue trying. I can handle making a mistake. It is okay for others to make mistakes, too. I will accept mistakes in myself and also mistakes that others make.
2. Everybody Doesn't Have to Love Me
Not everybody has to love me or even like me. I don't necessarily like everybody, I know, so why should everybody else like me? I enjoy being liked or being loved, but if somebody doesn't like me, I will still be okay and still feel like I am an okay person. I cannot make somebody like me, anymore than somebody can get me to like them. I don't need approval all the time. If someone does not approve of me, I will still be okay.
3. I Don't Have to Control Things
I will survive if things are different than what I want them to be. I can accept things the way they are, accept people the way they are, and accept myself the way I am. There is no reason to get upset if I can't change things to fit my idea of how they ought to be. There is no reason why I should have to like everything. Even if I don't like it, I can live with it.
4. I am Responsible for My Day
I am responsible for how I feel and what I do. Nobody can make me feel anything. If I have a rotten day, I am the one who allows it to be that way. If I have a great day, I am the one who deserves credit for being positive. It is not the responsibility of other people to change so that I can feel better. I am the one who is in charge of my life.
5. I Can Handle It When Things Go Wrong
I don't need to watch out for things to go wrong. Things usually go just fine, and when they don't, I can handle it. I don't have to waste my energy worrying. The sky won't fall in; things will be okay.
6. I am Capable
I don't need someone else to take care of my problems. I am capable. I can take care of myself. I can make decisions for myself. I can think for myself. I don't have to depend on somebody else to take care of me.
7. I Can be Flexible
There is more than one way to do something. More than one person has had good ideas that will work. There is no one and only“best”way. Everybody has ideas that are worthwhile. Some may make more sense to me than others, but everyone's ideas are worthwhile, and everyone has something worthwhile to contribute.
给心灵配副眼镜 WHERE IS HAPPINESS
佚名 / Anonymous如今，我们要是用心去寻找，就能找到幸福。幸福需要我们用内心去庆贺和珍视。幸福源自内心。若快乐的思绪填满我们的大脑，努力看到事物的欢愉之处，我们就能与幸福携手。
金钱、财产或自满不能带给我们幸福。好车、豪宅、工作或某人，也不能使我们幸福。幸福是一种心态，承认这点，安宁的心绪也随之而至。当下感觉到幸福，我们会永远幸福。重要的是今天。
恐惧让我们无法感受欢乐与喜悦。只要我们内心有恐惧，就会不断地瞻前顾后。试想一下，新配了一副眼镜，你的视力会得到改善，你会看得更清晰。考虑一下按着类似的方法调整自己的思维吧。当无用又无益的想法悄悄潜入你的意识，用更多快乐的事情和更好的想法代替它们吧！
We can find happiness today if we only look. Happiness is in our hearts and asks only to be celebrated and valued. It comes from within. If we fill our mind with pleasant thoughts and try to look on the bright side, we invite happiness.
No amount of money, possessions, or ego gratification can bring us happiness. There is no such thing as the perfect car, house, job, or person to make us happy. Peace of mind comes with the recognition that happiness is the state of mind we choose. Being happy today enables us to be happy forever. Today is what counts.
Our fears try to prevent us from feeling joy and pleasure. The fearful part of us would like us to be in a constant state of watching over our shoulder and of doubting the future. Imagine going to be fitted for new glasses. Your sight will be improved. You will see things more clearly. Consider adjusting your mind in a similar way. As unproductive, unhelpful thoughts creep into your consciousness, replace them with better-fitting thoughts that focus on joy and pleasure.
财富和幸福 Does Money Buy Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous金钱买得到幸福吗？买不到！但是，钱多一点儿，幸福是不是也会多些呢？我们很多人会咧嘴一笑，点点头。我们相信，财富的多少与精神愉悦之间有些关联。多数人会说：我们确实想成为富人。现在，美国大学生中有3/4的人认为，“经济的富足”是“非常重要”或“必不可少”的。金钱的确重要。
富人更幸福吗？研究人员发现，在一些贫困国家里，相对的富足的确能让人感到更加幸福。我们需要食物、休息、安全感和社会交往。
但是，生活中有这样一个事实，实在令人惊讶。在那些几乎每个人都能用得起生活必需品的国家里，财富的增长对幸福的影响并不大。收入和幸福之间的相互关系是“令人惊异的微小”，密歇根大学研究员罗纳德·英格利哈特在他的调查报告中是这样评述的——他曾对16个国家的17万人口作了调查。一旦人们的生活安逸了，物质财富的增加所带来的幸福感则会逐渐降低。第二张馅饼永远没有第一张味道鲜美，同样，第二次挣的10万美元带来的兴奋感远不如第一次强烈。
甚至连彩票中奖者和福布斯财富100强都表示，他们感受到的幸福只是比一般美国人稍微多一点点而已。发大财带来的只是暂时的快乐。但是，从长远来看，财富就像健康一样：完全缺失会令苦难滋生，但拥有也不能保证幸福。幸福似乎并不是得到我们想要的东西，而是对我们拥有的东西的一种渴望。
经济好转了，我们的幸福感是否会随之上涨呢？今天的我们是否比1940年更幸福呢？那时候，2/5的家庭还没有淋浴或浴盆，往炉子里添一块木头或煤炭就是取暖了？35％的家庭没有卫生间。
事实上，我们并没有比以前更幸福。从1957年以来，美国人中，说自己“很幸福”的人数从35％降至32％。与此同时，离婚率是原来的两倍，青少年自杀率几乎是原来的三倍，犯罪率则高达原来的四倍（尽管最近有所降低），有抑郁症的人（特别是青少年）越来越多，超过了以往任何时候。
这种随着财富飞速增长，精神却不断委靡的状况，我称之为“美国式的谬论”。与从前的生活相比较，我们拥有了大房子，家庭却破裂了；收入高了，道德意识却淡薄了；获得了权利，却没有以前有教养了；我们生活水平提高了，却往往不会营造生活；我们庆祝自己有了财富，却又怀念起奋斗时有目标的生活；我们珍视自由，却又渴望交流。在这个物质充裕的时代，我们的精神却感到饥渴。
Does money buy happiness? Not! Ah, but would a little more money make us a little happier? Many of us smirk and nod. There is, we believe, some connection between fiscal fitness and feeling fantastic. Most of us would say that, yes, we would like to be rich. Three in four American collegians now consider it“very important”or“essential”that they become“very well off financially”. Money matters.
Well, are rich people happier? Researchers have found that in poor countries, being relatively well off does make for greater wellbeing. We need food, rest, shelter and social contact.
But a surprising fact of life is that in countries where nearly everyone can afford life's necessities, increasing affluence matters surprisingly little. The correlation between income and happiness is“surprisingly weak”, observed University of Michigan researcher Ronald Inglehart in one 16-nation study of 170,000 people. Once comfortable, more money provides diminishing returns. The second piece of pie, or the second $100，000, never tastes as good as the first.
Even lottery winners and the Forbes' 100 wealthiest Americans have expressed only slightly greater happiness than the average American. Making it big brings temporary joy. But in the long run wealth is like health: its utter absence can breed misery, but having it doesn't guarantee happiness. Happiness seems less a matter of getting what we want than of wanting what we have.
Has our happiness floated upward with the rising economic tide? Are we happier today than in 1940, when two out of five homes lacked a shower or tub? When heat often meant feeding wood or coal into a furnace? When 35 percent of homes had no toilet?
Actually, we are not. Since 1957, the number of Americans who say they are“very happy”has declined from 35 to 32 percent. Meanwhile, the divorce rate has doubled, the teen suicide rate has nearly tripled, the violent crime rate has nearly quadrupled (even after the recent decline), and more people than ever (especially teens and young adults) are depressed.
I call this soaring wealth and shrinking spirit“the American paradox”. More than ever, we have big houses and broken homes, high incomes and low morale, secured rights and diminished civility. We excel at making a living but often fail at making a life. We celebrate our prosperity but yearn for purpose. We cherish our freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty, we feel spiritual hunger.
通往幸福的旅途 Our Pursuit of Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous我们四处追逐幸福，幸福其实就在我们身边。一天，我问哥哥伊恩：“你感到幸福吗？”他回答说：“可以说幸福，也可以说不幸福，这要看你指什么了。”“那你告诉我，”我说，“最近一次你感到幸福是什么时候？”“1967年4月。”他答道。
我真不该对一个游戏生活的人提出这么严肃的问题。但伊恩的回答给了我一个启示：我们想到的幸福时刻通常是一些非同寻常的事，一种纯粹的快乐——但是随着年龄的增长，这种快乐好像越来越少了。
对一个孩子来说，幸福有着梦幻般的色彩。记得我曾在新鲜的干草丛中捉迷藏，在树林里玩“警察与小偷”，在学校的戏剧里扮演有台词的角色。当然，孩子也有情绪低落的时候。但是，因为赢得一场比赛，或得了一辆新车，他们会毫不掩饰地快乐到极点。
到了青少年时期，幸福观逐渐转变。突然间，幸福就有了前提，你开始关注情绪，是否有爱，是否出名，甚至脸上的青春痘能否在舞会前消失。我清楚地记得，大家都去参加一个舞会，而我未被邀请时的痛苦。但也记得，在另一次活动中，与一个貌似约翰·特拉沃尔塔的人共舞，带给一个默默无闻的小人物的那种狂喜。
成年后，心灵深处最令人喜悦的是生育和爱情，婚姻同时也带来了责任和安逸。爱情可能会消逝，性爱也不总是如意，心爱的人可能会死去。对于成人来说，幸福很复杂。
字典里幸福的定义是“幸运”或“好运”，但我认为幸福更好的定义是“感受快乐的能力”，越知足越常乐。但是，爱与被爱，友人相伴，简单的生活，甚至健康的体魄，这些细碎的快乐很容易被我们忽视。
我重温了一下昨日的幸福时光，我把最后一个午餐盒饭准备好，整个家就属于我一个人了。然后，我写作，整个上午都没人打扰，我很快乐。孩子们回到家，我又享受着寂静一天后的热闹。
不久，宁静再次降临，我和丈夫享受另一种快乐——亲热。有时候，只要想到他需要我，就能给我带来快乐。
你永远不会知道幸福下一次会在什么时候出现。当我问起朋友，什么能给他们带来幸福时，有些人会提到一些看似微不足道的小事。“我讨厌购物，”一个朋友说，“但有些健谈的售货员的确令我很开心。”另一个朋友喜欢接电话，“每次电话一响，我就知道有人想我了。”
我喜欢开车的刺激。一天，我停下来，让一辆学校班车拐到路边。那个司机咧嘴一笑，会意地竖起大拇指。到处都是疯狂的飙车族，而我们俩是另类。我笑了起来。
我们都有过类似的经历，但很少有人能意识到这就是幸福。
心理学家告诉我们，幸福既需要愉快的休闲时间，也需要满意的工作。我的曾祖母养育了14个孩子，还要给别人洗衣服，做一些其他家务杂活。这两样东西她都没有，但她有来自各个方向的亲密的朋友和一个和睦的家。或许，这已使她很满足了。如果说她因自己拥有的一切感到幸福，或许是因为她并不希望生活是另一番样子。
另一方面，面对太多的选择，在各个方面都想成功，让我们把幸福变成“必须得到”的一种东西。我们自私地以为我们有“权”得到它，这也是我们痛苦的根源。所以我们去追求幸福，并将它同财富和成功联系起来，而没有意识到拥有它的人并不一定更幸福。
对我们来说，尽管每个人对幸福的理解不同，但是幸福的含义是从来不变的。幸福不是发生在我们周围的事——而是我们如何去看待周围发生的事。秘诀就在于，我们以积极的心态面对逆境，变压力为动力。幸福并不是祈求我们所没有的，而是享受我们所拥有的。
We chase after it, when it is waiting all about us.
“Are you happy?”I asked my brother, Lan, one day.“Yes. No. It depends on what you mean.”he said.
“Then tell me,”I asked,“when was the last time you think you were happy?”
“April 1967.”he said.
It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life. But Lan's answer reminded me that when we think about happiness, we usually think of something extraordinary, a pinnacle of sheer delight--and those pinnacles seem to get rarer the older we get.
For a child, happiness has a magical quality. I remember making hide-outs in newly cut hay, playing cops and robbers in the woods, getting a speaking part in the school play. Of course, kids also experience lows, but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved.
In the teenage years the concept of happiness changes. Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement, love, popularity and whether that zit will clear up before a prom night. I can still feel the agony of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to. But I also recall the ecstasy of being plucked from obscurity at another event to dance with a John Travolta look-alike.
In adulthood the things that bring profound joy--birth, love, marriage--also bring responsibility and the risk of loss. Love may not last, sex isn't always good, loved ones die. For adults, happiness is complicated.
My dictionary defines happy as“lucky”or“fortunate,”but I think a better definition of happiness is“the capacity for enjoyment.”
The more we can enjoy what we have, the happier we are. It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved, the company of friends, the freedom to live where we please, and even good health.
I added up my little moments of pleasure yesterday. First there was sheer bliss when I shut the last lunch-box and had the house to myself. Then I spent an uninterrupted morning writing, which I love. When the kids came home, I enjoyed their noise after the quiet of the day.
Later, peace descended again, and my husband and I enjoyed another pleasure--intimacy. Sometimes just the knowledge that he wants me can bring me joy.
You never know where happiness will turn up next. When I asked friends what makes them happy, some mentioned seemingly insignificant moments.“I hate shopping,”one friend said.“but there's a clerk who always chats and really cheers me up.”Another friend loves the telephone“Every time it rings, I know someone is thinking about me.”
I get a thrill from driving. One day I stopped to let a school bus turn onto a side road. The driver grinned and gave me thumbs up sign. We were two allies in a world of mad motorists. It made me smile.
We all experience moments like these. Too few of us register them as happiness.
Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a blend of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work. I doubt that my great-grandmother, who raised 14 children and took in washing, had much of either. She did have a network of close friends and family, and maybe this was what fulfilled her. If she was happy with what she had, perhaps it was because she didn't expect life to be very different.
We, on the other hand, with so many choices and such pressure to succeed in every area, have turned happiness into one more thing we“gotta have.”We're so self-conscious about our“right”to it that it's making us miserable. So we chase it and equate it with wealth and success, without noticing that the people who have those things aren't necessarily happier.
While happiness may be more complex for us, the solution is the same as ever. Happiness isn't about what happens to us--it's about how we perceive what happens to us. It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. It's not wishing for what we don't have, but enjoying what we do possess.
抵达快乐之境 Ten Ways to Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous有几种方法可以达到快乐的境界呢？
1. 快乐不是终点，而是一次旅程。如果你在旅程中寻找快乐，那过程就变成终点，而且是你生命中受益匪浅、意义深远的终点。
2. 快乐的地方就在此处，快乐的时刻就在此时。停留在此处，并抓住此刻，你就是快乐的。
3. 快乐首先体现在精神上，而后是身体上。为了使身体上的快乐更加丰盈，你必须做到气定神闲，毫无烦扰。宁可吃饭的时候无肉，也不要让心中满是负担。
4. 快乐与忧愁是相互对立的，此消彼长。从忧愁中解脱出来，才能享受到快乐。
5. 快乐是用五块饼钓两条鱼，付出的越多，得到的越多。与他人分享你的快乐，你会更快乐。
6. 如果你心里的愿望很容易就得到满足，那快乐也会很快结束。为了能延长你的快乐，就必须有未完成的愿望。
7. 当你快乐时，你会感到满足；不开心时，也要保持心情舒畅。经常充满热情，快乐就会成为长久的习惯。
8. 快乐是一种非常奇怪的东西，当你召唤它、呼喊它、恳求它时，它却不出来；当你假装不关心它时，它又来讨好你、依偎着你、不离开你。与快乐打交道，你需要“欲擒故纵”。
9. 快乐四处飘荡，试图抓住它，是愚昧又无用的。你需要制造新的快乐，以使快乐接连不断。
10. 你能获得的最大快乐，就是意识到快乐并不是你的必需。
How many ways are there to reach the state of being happy?
1. Happiness is not an aim, but a journey. If you seek for pleasure in the course of the journey, the course will become a destination, and what's more, it will be a prolonged, boundlessly beneficial destination for all your life.
2. The happy place is this place, and the happy moment is this moment. Remain standing here, seize the present moment, and you will be happy.
3. Happiness is mental before it is physical. In order to be physically happy to the full, you must first feel at ease and be free of worry. It is better to eat without meat than to have a load on your mind.
4. Happiness is the opposite of unhappiness; the decline of the one means the growth of the other. Release yourself from the unhappy mood and you will be happy.
5. Happiness is a matter of five cakes of bread and two fishes; the more you give out the more you will get back. Share your happiness with others and you will enjoy it more.
6. If your heart's desire is easily satisfied, your happiness will soon come to an end. In order that your happiness may last, you have to leave some of your desires unfulfilled.
7. When you are happy, you feel contented. You should also feel contented when you are unhappy.Be always full of zest and happiness will become an inveterate habit.
8. Happiness is a very strange thing. It will not turn up when you beckon it, call it, and solicit it. But when you feign complete indifference, it will fawn upon you, lean close to you and live with you. In dealing with happiness, you should adopt the strategy of leaving it at large to apprehend it the better .
9. Happiness is drifting from place to place. It is unwise as well as futile to try to retain it. You have got to keep on making new happiness, so that one happiness follows in the wake of another.
10. The greatest happiness you can gain is realizing that you are not necessarily in need of it.
彩虹的道理 The Truth of Rainbow
佚名 / Anonymous很久以前，世界上的各种颜色起了争执，每种颜色都自诩是最好、最重要、最有用、最漂亮、最受人青睐的。
绿色说：“很显然，我是最重要的，我是生命和希望的象征。小草、树木和树叶都是绿色的。没有了我，所有的动物都会死亡。环顾乡村的景色，我占着色彩的主导地位。”
蓝色打断了绿色的话：“你只是看到了大地，瞧瞧天空和海洋吧。天空代表着广阔、平和与静谧。而海洋是生命的起源，生命所必需的水分正是由海水蒸发凝成云团，然后形成降雨而得。没有象征和平的蓝色，一切都将是虚无的。”
黄色咯咯地笑道：“你们过于严肃了。只有我才能给世界带来欢笑、愉悦和温暖。看看吧，太阳是黄色的，月亮是黄色的，就连星星也是黄色的。每次你看向日葵时，整个世界都笑了。没有黄色，欢乐就不复存在。”
橘色也开始吹嘘起来：“我是健康和力量的象征。橘色比较罕见，加上我尽心尽力地满足人们的需求，因此，我就显得特别珍贵。最重要的维生素都是橘色的，比如，胡萝卜、南瓜、橘子、芒果和番木瓜，都是橘色的。然而，我并不是随时都见得到的，只在日出或日落时，我会给天空镀上金色。这种美丽奇特的色彩使其他颜色大为逊色。”
红色再也按捺不住了，大喊道：“我是色彩之王。红色，血一般的颜色，生命的色彩！我象征着危难和勇敢，我让血液燃烧沸腾，并愿为事业勇猛奋战。没有红色，地球会如月亮般空洞，了无生气。红玫瑰，一品红和罂粟都是红的，红色就是爱之色、激情之色。”
异常高大的紫色站了起来，声如洪钟：“紫色象征着皇室和权利。我是权威和智慧的标志，因而国王、领袖和主教都以我为代表色。人们从不对我产生质疑，相反，他们听命并服从我。”
最后，靛蓝色开口了，语气较其他颜色平和了许多，但同样很坚定：“想想我吧。我代表安静。几乎没人注意到我，但没有我，你们都变得肤浅。我象征思索和反省，曙光和深水。我能使你们的色调和谐，对比鲜明，我还能祈祷内心的和平。”
颜色们还在吹捧自己，都坚信自己是最棒的。他们的争吵声越来越大。忽然，一道闪电划过天空，雷声滚滚而来，大雨倾盆而下。颜色们惊恐万分，蜷缩一团，彼此寻求慰藉。
喧闹声中，雨说道：“你们这些愚蠢的家伙，为了统领他人就相互攻击。每种颜色都有特殊的意义，都是独一无二、与众不同的，这你们都不知道吗？现在，你们手拉着手，到我这来。”
按照雨的吩咐，颜色们手牵着手。
雨又说道：“从现在开始，只要下雨，每种颜色都要横跨天空，形成一个五彩的弓环，这道彩虹就代表你们能和平相处，同时也预示着明天的希望。”因此，每当及时雨清洗整个人间后，一道彩虹就横挂于天空——这让我们记住了一个道理，即要学会彼此欣赏。
Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best, the most important, the most useful, the most beautiful, the favorite.
Green said:“Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.”
Blue interrupted:“You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. Without my peace, you would all be nothing.”
Yellow chuckled:
“You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow; the moon is yellow, and the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun.”
Orange started next to blow her trumpet:
“I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you.”
Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:“I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood--life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy.”
Purple rose up to his full height, he was very tall and spoke with great pomp:“I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey.”
Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination:
“Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace.”
And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening, thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.
In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak:
“You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me.”
Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued:
“From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.”And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a rainbow appears in the sky, to let us remember to appreciate one another.
爱源于微笑 Love from Smile
［阿］特蕾沙修女 / Mother Teresw穷人是很了不起的。一天傍晚，外出时，我们从街上带回四个人，其中一个生命垂危。我对一个姐妹说：“我来照顾她，你们去照顾其他三个。”我竭尽所能地帮助她，把她放到床上，只见她露出美丽的笑容，抓住我的手，说了句“谢谢您”，然后便离开了人世。看着她，我不禁扪心自问：假如是我，我会怎样呢？答案再简单不过了，我会让更多人关注我，会说自己又冷又饿，奄奄一息，痛苦不堪，等等。可她赠予了我更多——那就是感激之爱，她是带着一抹微笑离开人世的。我们在排水道找到的那个男子也是如此，当时，他的身体几乎被虫子吞噬，因此我们把他带了回来。“我像动物一样在街上活着，却能如天使般死去——备受关爱与呵护。”他语出惊人，我觉察到了他的伟大。没有责怪，没有诅咒，没有抱怨，如同天使——我不禁感叹，我们的人民这般伟大。正因如此，我们对耶稣的圣言坚信不疑——我饥肠辘辘，赤身裸体，无家可归。没有人要我，没有人爱我，没有人关心我，然而你给予了我一切。
我感到，我们的社会工作还做得很不够。也许在世人眼中，我们是社会工作者，事实上，我们只能称为精神世界的修行者。因为，我们每时每刻都在触摸基督的圣体。我想，在这个大家庭里，我们要远离战争、团结一致、互助互爱、和平共处。唯有这样，一切邪恶才会消亡。
作为和平奖的获得者，我准备用所得奖金为那些无家可归的人建立家园。我深信，家是爱的发源地。如果穷人在我们的帮助下，有了自己的家园，那么爱便会广为传播。同时，我们将通过这种宽容博大的爱，把平安和福音带给穷人——我们家乡的穷人，我们国家的穷人，以及全世界的穷人。为了达到这个目的，姐妹们，我们必须日日祈祷，将自己与基督融为一体。这样，我们才能互相体谅，分享苦难。因为与基督融为一体就意味着体谅他人，与人分享；因为今天的世界仍存在如此多的苦难……当我把一个饥饿的人从街上带回，施与他一盘饭、一片面包，让他果腹，我就很满足了。
假如一个人露宿街头，没有他人的关心和呵护，惊恐忧虑，为社会所弃——这样的贫困让人痛彻心肺，无法忍受。因此，让我们彼此相见时，给予微笑吧，因为微笑是爱的开端，一旦我们开始互相关爱，自然就会乐于奉献。
The poor are very wonderful people. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition, and I told the sisters,“You take care of the other three. I will take care of this one who looked worse.”So I did for her all that my love can do. I put her in bed, and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words“thank you”and she died. I could not help but examinemy conscience before her and I asked what would I say if I was in her place. And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said I am hungry, that I am dying, I am cold, I am in pain, or something, but she gave me much more--she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. As did that man whom we picked up from the drain, half eaten with worms, and we brought him to the home.“I have rived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.”And it was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that, who could die like that without blaming anybody, without cursing anybody, without comparing anything. Like an angel--this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what Jesus had said: I was hungry, I was naked, I was homeless, I was unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and you did it to me.
I believe that we are not real social workers. We may be doing social work in the eyes of the people, but we are really contemplativesin the heart of the world. For we are touching the body of Christ twenty-four hours… And I think that in our family we don't need bombs and guns, to destroy, to bring peace, just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcomeall the evil that is in the world.
And with this prize that I have received as a Prize of Peace, I am going to try to make the home for many people who have no home. Because I believe that love begins at home, and if we can create a home for the poor I think that more and more love will spread. And we will be able through this understanding love to bring peace and the good news to the poor. The poor in our own family first, in our country and in the world. To be able to do this, our Sisters, our lives have to be woven with prayer. They have to be woven with Christ to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because to be woven with Christ is to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because today there is so much suffering...And When I pick up a person from the street, hungry, I give him a plate of rice, a piece of bread, I have satisfied. I have removed that hunger.
But a person who is shut out, who feels unwanted, unloved, terrified, the person who has been thrown out from society--that poverty is so full of hurt and so unbearable...And so let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love, and once we begin to love each other naturally we want to do something.
直面任务，享受生活 Savor Your Just Rewards
佚名 / Anonymous是否还记得深夜的大学里，朋友那一张张因焦虑而睡眼惺忪的面孔？那是因为期末考试即将到来，他们在考试前一夜临时抱佛脚努力弥补，也许你也是他们当中的一员。当时，对于像我这样一本正经，考前每天花点儿时间惬意地读读课堂笔记就能轻松过关的人，你也许憎恨不已。
你们会乐于知道像我这样的人在其他情况下也会有应得的报应。怎么会这样？因为每个人都会在做某些事情时出现思维障碍。思维障碍并不等同于智力问题，它会使我们懊恼，陷入自责，这是很常见的经历，试着避免它只会招致更多的损失。这样的经历我们都曾有过。
只不过，我们会在不同的地方遇到不同的阻碍。比如说，我的绊脚石，就是听那些冗长而无聊的报告。我会溜出去写一篇短文，或在早晨沿着我居住的海边乡村的小山跑上半小时。然而，若是给我一个较大的任务，比如写一本书，在健身房进行一小时锻炼，或类似去干洗店、加油站等既无聊又浪费时间的任务时，我就会变得绝顶聪明，想出一切无法立刻行动的借口，往后推辞。这些听起来是否很耳熟呢？
下面这些小技巧可以让你不再逃避任务，并且，让你在完成任务后，甚至可以感受到本该拥有的成功与喜悦。
真实详细地比较各种方案
想象一下最好和最坏的情景——把能影响你情绪的所有情况都考虑到——如果你不完成或不立即完成它，后果会有多么严重；如果你按时且精彩地做完，又会是多么令人兴奋；如果今天迟些开始做又会如何；让你不能开始的“不可控因素”有多少。事实上，假如你目标明确、集中精力、排除干扰，直到你完成了任务的重要阶段或者实际上已经完成，最快需要多久？
你会在完成时，让自己怎样放松？休息一会儿，享受一下同事让你开怀大笑的时光？送一份意外惊喜给近来特别关心你的朋友？还是投入到另一个压力较小的任务，以便提前完成呢？
不断重温你的成功
多数护士的生活节奏都特别紧张，因此在脑海中回忆每完成一个任务时的满足心情，就相当于让自己享受了一次成功。正如运动员通过观看运动健将的录像，将其存储在记忆中，并不断地在脑海中回放那些成功的精彩动作，从而学会新的习惯以提高自己的技能一样，你存储在大脑中的完成任务时的轻松感，也会激励你为了更强烈的满足感而努力。不断重复自己的行为，这也是养成新习惯的过程。你将会更自然地提前准备，去完美地完成更多的任务。
承担大任务，逐步完成
那些艰巨而生疏的任务是你最没有信心去完成的，也是你最可能逃避的任务。可以将需要完成的每一步写下来。
这叫做“先慢后快”法。
写下每一步会使这些步骤看起来更有可行性，而且对你承诺坚持完成每项任务也变得尤为重要。它们就在你的前方。将你的时间表与任务栏贴在醒目的位置，将你对它们的承诺告知他人，这些都能提高你对任务的关注程度。
奖励自己，尽情享受应得的回报
提前安排好对自己的奖励。倘若你是一个勤奋的护士，当你匆忙投入到下一项任务前，不要拒绝对自己的奖赏。不管怎么说，生活总是过得太快。打个比方，当我完成一项令人厌烦的任务时——以前可不这样——我会奖励自己花时间去做喜欢的事，比如在书店逗留一会儿，或与朋友共享时光。当我完成一项艰巨而重要的任务时，会给自己较大的奖赏，比如去旅行或买一套新的装备。
不要紧盯着任务
直面任务，有时会让你感到紧张。试着想象如何通过侧面关注来完成它，即从心理上不时地淡化它，看看如何能最轻松地完成任务。行动起来，边做边看，这是最明智的办法。当思维受阻、愤怒或紧张的时候，男人趋向于做得更多，而女人则会停止不前或做得更少。开始行动，你将会对自己的情绪与动机更为了解。想象着你在散步、洗澡、吃饭而不是“要去”执行这个任务，你的思想就会自然而然地放松。
当你在执行任务，且不用直接面对必须做的事，特别是当外出的你融入清新的空气与灿烂的阳光中时，你定会看得更远、更广，并能更透彻地理解到任务内部各个环节之间的联系。你将会从意识深处，发掘出那些表面与任务无关、实际上却至关重要的思想。你的潜意识会成为你的朋友，在你寻找完成任务的最佳途径时，助你一臂之力。这样，任务看起来就没有那么繁重了，因为你已经全身心地投入到其中了。
Remember the agitated, bleary late-night looks on your friends' faces in college as they attempted to cram a semester of learning into the night before a final? Perhaps you were one of those crammers. Then you probably resented righteous--looking people like me who appeared to spend a pleasant bit of time each day on reading and class note taking before sailing through tests.
You'll be happy to know that people like me all get our comeuppance in other situations. How? Because everybody gets mind blocks to doing some kinds of tasks. Mind blocks have nothing to do with mental acuity. They're very much a part of the human experience, albeit an irritating part for which most of us emotionally flagellate ourselves about, as we continue to avoid the task, thus incurring double damage. We all have them.
We just have different kinds of places where we get stuck on different kinds of tasks. My blocks, for example, are with big or boring talks. I can easily slide into writing a brief article or going on a half hour morning run along the hills above my seaside village. Give me a larger task, however, such as writing a book or going into the gym for an hour work-out or a boring“time-waste”task like getting to the dry cleaners or gas station and I can become diabolically clever at deceiving myself into all the reasons why I can't start, right now anyway, but will sometime soon. Sound familiar?
Here are some tricks to getting yourself into a kind of task you often find yourself avoiding and even finding ways to feel righteous as you savor completion.
Vividly Specific Contrasting Scenarios
Picture the worst and the best case situations--in all their emotional details--for not starting an important task now. How bad could the consequences be if you don't get it done or done right? How exciting could it be if you did it on time and superbly? What if you intend to start it later today? How many things“beyond your control”can prevent you from getting started? If you did, in fact, start it right now, when is the soonest you might be done if you get clear and focused, and allow no other interruptions until you get to a crucial state of completion or actually finish it?
What small indulgence could you give yourself when you're done? Take a break to savor time with a colleague who makes you laugh? Get a surprise gift for a friend who's been especially thoughtful recently? Dive into another, slightly less pressing task and actually get ahead of the curve for once?
See Your Success Again and Again
Since most nurses have time-pressed lives, allowing yourself to savor each success is akin to imprinting on your psyche the experience of satisfaction with a task completed. Just as athletes learn new habits to improve performance by watching videos of master athletes, then store up memories of those images of successful work-outs for their constant internal play-back, your stored-up memories of ease in task completion can motivate you to have those satisfying experiences more often. You are literally seeing yourself repeat your performance. That's new habit-forming. You will become more naturally inclined to dive in early and get more tasks completed in a state of inward and outward grace.
Take on a Big Task, a Bite at a Time
Large or unfamiliar tasks where you don't feel especially confident about your future performance are the ones you're most likely to avoid. Write down the steps to completion.
Call This Approach“Going Slow to Go Faster Later.”
Writing will make the steps more real and doable to you and your commitment to the timetables you attach to each task become more vital. They are right in front of you. Post your“tasks and timetable”where you can't avoid seeing it. Tell others of your commitment to that sheet. These actions will place the task higher in your consciousness.
Reward Yourself and Savor Your Rewards
Plan your rewards ahead of time. Diligent nurse that you are, don't deny yourself the reward when you are done by rushing onto the next task. Life goes by too fast anyway. For example, when I complete boring tasks--and not before--I allow myself time to do something that gives me pleasure, such as a stop at a bookstore or time with a friend. When I finish a big important task I give myself a bigger reward such as a trip or new outfit.
Sidelong Glancing at It
Sometimes facing a task straight on just makes you freeze. Try to picture how to do it by“sidelong glancing”, that is getting small glimpses out of the corner of your mental eye about how you can most easily do the task. One of the best ways is to literally get moving and looking around. In times of mind--blocks, anger or tension, men tend to act out more while women tend to shut down, moving less, You will be more aware of your emotions and motivations when you get into motion. Consider walking, showering, eating or otherwise being“on your way”to doing the task. You will let your mind go naturally free.
When you are in motion and not focusing directly on what you have to do, especially if you can get outside into the fresh air and sunlight, you can literally see farther, gain a larger perspective and see how the parts of the task can fit together. You will pull up ideas from lower in your consciousness, think of apparently unrelated ideas that will do, in fact, have a bearing on ways to get the task done. Your unconscious mind becomes your friend in helping you recognize your best path to accomplishing the task. And the task will seem less onerous because you lift your mood when you put yourself in motion.
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