外贸函电(txt+pdf+epub+mobi电子书下载)

作者：沈岚,姚健

出版社：西南财经大学出版社

格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT

外贸函电试读：

前言

21世纪，伴随着中国经济的快速发展，中国正日益同世界全方位接轨。在经济全球化的进程中，势必会带来更多对外交流和合作的机会，而这种交流和合作是通过语言来实现的。在对外交流中，语言的功能是不可替代的，它起着桥梁和纽带的作用。然而，仅有语言是不够的，还需要懂得如何在适当的场合运用恰当得体的语言来准确地表达商业意图，这样才能维系商务关系，确保业务成功。随着经济全球化的不断深入，对掌握必要商务知识和具有语言沟通能力的人才的需求产生了量和质的飞跃。商务英语人才已不再是传统意义上的外销员，而应是具有参与国际商务竞争能力的人才。

有效地提高学生实际运用语言的能力，培养既有专业知识又能熟练运用英语的复合型人才，使学生所学的知识紧跟时代的发展，符合社会经济生活的实际需求，是高等院校人才培养的历史责任，也是经济全球化和社会发展的迫切需要。为此，根据我国高等院校的课程设置，以国际贸易的知识为背景，我们编写了《外贸函电》一书。本书重点就有效的商务沟通所应注意的方面和应遵循的原则及技巧进行了详细的讲解和示范，同时对各种商务英语函电与应用文的内容、风格、格式以及写作特点做了详尽而系统的介绍。

本书的特点是从跨文化交际的视角出发，针对交际沟通对象的差异，结合实际的商务沟通内容，有机地将外贸实务、商务写作和函电实例相结合，引入3×3写作思路及模式，并以此为主线贯穿整个教材。各单元均配有大量的实例和例句，为了便于学习者学习和掌握，各例后均紧跟生词和短语的讲解；同时各单元后附加了章节回顾和思考题，以激励学习者进行积极的总结和反思。本书共15章，1~3章详细讲解3×3写作思路及模式的运用，对全书的内容起着总纲的作用；从第4章开始，教材按照常规外贸流程及环节分类安排各章节，包括建立业务关系，询盘、发盘与还盘，订单，国际支付，信用证，包装与运输，保险，投诉与索赔，代理，商务合同等内容。

本书作者在多年教学和对外贸企业调研的基础上，借鉴国内外最新教材编写理念和教学方法，结合高等院校教学的特点以及复合型人才培养的具体需要，在以下方面进行了尝试：（1）在介绍各类信函的同时详细讲解了相关的理论知识以及国际商贸实用知识，帮助初学者及没有系统地学习过国际贸易的学习者通过理论联系实际的方式准确地认知所学的知识点。（2）每章的常用句型总结部分给学习者提供了大量的商贸语言素材，能帮助学习者更好地理解各章节的专业英语语言知识；形式多样的练习可以有效地帮助学习者提高实际运用能力。

本书主编：沈岚、姚键；副主编：王怡、周成；参编者：魏萍、彭琳、邹斌、向建雄、张谢、马勤。其中，第1~3章由沈岚（成都大学外国语学院）编写；第4章由马勤（成都直属机关电大）编写；第5~6章由周成（成都大学外国语学院）编写；第7章由向建雄（成都大学外国语学院）编写；第8~9章由魏萍（成都理工大学工程技术学院）编写；第10章由邹斌（成都理工大学工程技术学院）编写；第11章由彭琳（西南民族大学外国语学院）编写；第12章由姚键（成都大学外国语学院）编写；第13章由张谢（成都理工大学工程技术学院）编写；第14~15章由王怡（昆明理工大学应用技术学院）编写；名人名言部分由杜杰（成都大学外国语学院）辑录。各章的练习参考答案及常用术语、缩略语均放在与教材配套的课件中。

由于编者水平有限，书中难免有不足之处，恳请国内外专家、学者和广大读者批评指正。编者2010年8月于成都银厂沟Chapter 1 Writing Process for Business Letters（1）—Prewriting【Learning Objectives】1. Describe three basic elements of business writing.2. Summarize the three phases of the 3-x-3 writing process.3. Clarify what is involved in analyzing a writing task and selecting a communication channel.4. Describe anticipating and profiling the audience for a message.5. Specify six writing techniques that help communicators adapt messages to the task and audience.6. Explain why four areas of communication hold legal responsibilities for writers.1. Approaching the Writing Process Systematically

As a firm moves into a new marketing arena，its representatives must finely tune his communication skills to project a new image and capture new clients. Preparing and writing any business message—whether a letter，an e-mail memo，or a sales presentation—is easier when the writer or presenter has a systematic plan to follow.1.1 The Basics of Business Writing

Business writing differs from other writing you may have done. High school or college compositions and term papers may have a minimum word count. Business writing，however，has different goals. In preparing business messages and oral presentations，you'll find that your writing needs to be：● Purposeful. You will be writing to solve problems and convey information. You will have a definite purpose to fulfill in each message.● Economical. You will try to present ideas clearly but concisely. Length is not rewarded.● Reader oriented. You will concentrate on looking at a problem from the reader's per-spective instead of seeing it from your own.

These distinctions actually ease the writer's task. In writing most business documents，you won't be searching your imagination for creative topic ideas. You won't be stretching your ideas to make them appear longer. One writing consultant complained that“most college graduates entering industry have at least a subliminal perception that in technical and business writing，quantity enhances quality.”It's Wrong！ Get over the notion that longer is better. Conciseness is what counts in business. Furthermore，you won't be trying to dazzle readers with your exten-sive knowledge，powerful vocabulary，or graceful phrasing. The goal in business writing is to express rather than impress. You will be striving to get your ideas across naturally，simply，and clearly.

In many ways business writing is easier than academic writing，yet it still requires hard work，especially from beginners. But following a process，studying models，and practicing the craft can make nearly anyone a successful business writer and speaker. This book provides all three components：process，products（models），and practice. First，you'll focus on the process of writing business messages.1.2 The 3-x-3 Writing Process for Business Letters

The writing process can be divided into three distinct phases：prewriting，writing，and revising. As shown in Figure 1.1，each phase is further divided into three major activities. The 3-x-3 processes provide you with a systematic plan for developing all your business communications from simple memos and informational reports to corporate proposals and oral presentations.FIGURE 1.1 The 3-x-3 Writing Process

The time spent on each phase varies with the deadline，purpose，and audience for the message. Let's consider how the 3-x-3 writing process might work in a typical business situation. Suppose you must write a letter to a department store buyer about an order that you，as a manufacturer of jeans，cannot fill. The first phase（prewriting）prepares you to write and involves analyzing，anticipating，and adapting. In analyzing the situation，you decide to focus your letter on retaining the order. That can be best done by persuading the buyer to accept a different jeans model. You anticipate that the buyer will be disappointed that the original model is unavailable. What's more，she will probably be reluctant to switch to a different model. Thus，you must find ways to adapt your message to reduce her reluctance and convince her to switch.

The second phase（writing）involves researching，organizing，and then composing the message. To collect facts for this letter，you would probably investigate the buyer's past purchases. You would check to see what jeans you have in stock that she might accept as a substitute. You might do some brainstorming or consult your colleagues for their suggestions about how to retain this order. Then，you would organize your information most effectively. Equipped with a plan，you're ready to compose the first draft of the letter.

The third phase of the process（revising）involves revising，proofreading，and evaluating your letter. After writing the first draft，you'll revise the message for clarity，conciseness，tone，and readability. You'll proofread carefully to ensure correct spelling，grammar，punctuation，and format. Finally，you'll evaluate the message to see whether it accomplishes your goal.

Although our diagram of the writing process shows the three phases equally，the time you spend on each varies. One expert gives these rough estimates for scheduling a project：25 percent worrying and planning（Phase 1），25 percent writing（Phase 2），45 percent revising，and 5 percent proofreading（Phase 3）. These are rough guides，yet you can see that good writers spend most of their time revising. Much spends，of course，on your project，its importance，and your familiarity with it. What's critical to remember，though，is that revising is a major component of the writing process.2. The Prewriting Phase of Composition

Whether you're writing with a team，composing by yourself，or preparing an oral presentation，the product of your efforts can be improved by following steps described in the 3-x-3 writing process. Not only are you more likely to get your message across，but you'll feel less anxious and your writing will progress more quickly. The remainder of this chapter concentrates on the prewriting phase of composition：analyzing，anticipating，and adapting.2.1 Analyzing the Task

In analyzing the composition task，you'll first need to identity the purpose of the message and select the best channel or form in which to deliver it.

Identifying Your Purpose. As you begin to compose a message，ask yourself two important questions：（1）Why am I sending this message？And（2）What do I hope to achieve？Your responses will determine how you organize and present your information.

Most business communication has both primary purpose and secondary purposes. The primary purposes for sending business messages are typically to inform and to persuade. A secondary purpose is to promote goodwill：you and your organization want to look good in the eyes of your audience.

Most business messages do nothing more than inform. They explain procedures，announce meetings，answer questions，and transmit findings. Some business messages，however，are meant to persuade. These messages sell products，convince managers，motivate employees，and win over customers. Informative messages are developed differently than persuasive messages.

Selecting the Best Channel. After identifying the purpose of your message，you need to select the most appropriate communication channel. Some information is most efficiently and effectively delivered orally. Other messages should be written，and still others are best delivered electronically. Whether to set up a message，send a message by email，or write a report depends on some of the following factors：● Importance of the message● Amount and speed of feedback required● Necessity of a permanent record● Cost of the channel● Degree of formality desired2.2 Anticipating the Audience

A good writer anticipates the audience for a message：What is the reader like？How will that reader react to the message？Although you can't always know exactly who the reader is，you can imagine some characteristics of the reader. By profiling your audience and shaping a message to respond to that profile，you are more likely to achieve your communication goals.

Profiling the Audience. Visualizing your audience is a pivotal step in the writing process. The questions in Figure 1.3 will help you profile your audience. How much time you devote to answering these questions depends greatly on your message and its context. An analytical report that you compose for management or an oral presentation before a big group would，of course，demand considerable audience anticipation. On the other hand，a letter to a familiar supplier might require only a few moments of planning. No matter how short your message，though，spend some time thinking about the audience so that you can tailor your words to your readers.FIGURE 1.2　Asking the Right Questions to Profile Your Audience

Responding to the Profile. Anticipating your audience helps you make decisions about shaping the message. You'll discover what kind of language is appropriate，whether you're free to use specialized technical terms，whether you should explain everything，and so on. You'll decide whether your tone should be formal or informal，and you'll select the most desirable channel. Imagining whether the receiver is likely to be neutral，positive，or negative will help you determine how to organize your message.

Another result of profiling your audience will be knowing whether a secondary audience is possible. If so，you'll provide more background information and be more specific in identifying items than would be necessary for the primary audience only. Analyzing the task and anticipating the audience assists you in adapting your message so that it will accomplish what you intend.2.3 Adapting to the Task and Audience

After analyzing your purpose and anticipating your audience，you must convey your purpose to that audience. Adaptation is the process of creating a message that suits your audience.

One important aspect of adaptation is tone. Conveyed largely by the words in a message，tone reflects how a receiver feels upon reading or hearing a message. For example，think how you would react to these statements：

You must return the form by 5 p. m.

Would you please return the form by 5 p. m.

Skilled communicators create a positive tone in their messages by using a number of adaptive techniques，some of which are unconscious. Ways to adapt to the audience include choosing the right words and tone，spotlighting reader benefits，cultivating a“you”attitude，and using sensitive，courteous language.2.3.1 Spotlighting Receiver Benefits

Focusing on the audience sounds like a modern idea，but actually one of America's early statesmen and authors recognized this fundamental writing principle over 200 years ago. In describing effective writing，Ben Franklin observed，“to be good，it ought to have a tendency to benefit the reader.”These wise works have become a fundamental guideline for today's business communicators. Expanding on Franklin's counsel，a contemporary communication consultant gives this solid advice to his business clients：“Always stress the benefit to the readers of whatever it is you're trying to get them to do. If you can show them how you're going to save them frustration or help them meet their goals，you have the making of a powerful message.”

Adapting your message to the receiver's needs means putting yourself in that person's shoes. It's called empathy. Empathic senders think about how a receiver will decode a message. They try to give something to the receiver，solve the receiver's problems，save the receiver money，or just understand the feelings and position of that person.2.3.2 Cultivating the“You”View

Notice how many of the previous receiverfocused messages included the word“you”. In concentrating on receiver benefits，skilled communicators naturally develop the“you”view. They emphasize second-person pronouns（you，your）instead of first-person pronouns（I/we，us，our）. Whether your goal is to inform，persuade，or promote goodwill，the catchiest words you can use are you and your.

To see if you're really concentrating on the reader，try using the“empathy index”. In one of your messages，count all the second-person references. Then，count all the first-person ref-erences. Your empathy index is low if the I's and we's out-number the you's and your's.

But the use of you is more than merely a numbers games. Second-person pronouns can be overused and misused. Readers appreciate genuine interest；on the other hand，they resent obvious attempts at manipulation. Some sales messages，for example，are guilty of overkill when they include you dozens of times in a direct mail promotion. Furthermore，the word can sometimes create the wrong impression.

In recognizing the value of the you attitude，however，writers do not have to sterilize their writing and totally avoid any first-person pronouns or words that show their feelings skilled communicators are able to convey sincerity，warmth，and enthusiasm by the words they choose. Don't be afraid to use phrases such as I'm happy or We're delighted，if you truly are. When speaking face to face，communicators show sincerity and warmth with nonverbal cues such as a smile and pleasant voice tone. In letters，memos，and e-mail messages，however，only expressive words and phrases can show these feelings that say to readers and customers“You are important，I hear you，and I'm honestly trying to please you.”2.3.3 Using Sensitive Bias-Free Language

In adapting a message to its audience，be sure your language is sensitive and bias-free. Few writers set out to be offensive. Sometimes，though，we all say things that we never thought might be hurtful. The real problem is that we don't think about the words that stereotype groups of people，such as the boys in the mail room or the girls in the front office. Be cautions aboutexpressions that might be biased in terms of gender，race，ethnicity，age，and disability.

Avoiding Gender Bias. You can defuse gender time bombs by replacing words that exclude or stereotype women（sometimes called sexist language）with neutral，inclusive expressions.

Generally，you can avoid gender-biased language by leaving out the words man or woman，by suing plural nouns and pronouns，or by changing to a genderfree word（person or representative）.

Avoiding Racial or Ethnic Bias. You need to indicate racial or ethnic identification only if the context demands it.

Avoiding Age Bias. Again，specify age only if it is relevant，and avoid expressions that are demeaning or subjective.

Avoiding Disability Bias. Unless relevant，do not refer to an individual's disability. When necessary，use terms that do not stigmatize disabled individuals.2.3.4 Expressing Yourself Positively

Certain negative words create ill will because they appear to blame or accuse readers. For example，opening a letter to a customer with You claim that suggests that you don't believe the customer. Other loaded words that can get you in trouble are complaint，criticism，defective，failed，mistake，and neglected. Often the writer is unconscious of the effect of these words. Take a look at the box in disc to see eight easy ways to make your readers and listeners angry. To avoid these angry reactions，restrict negative words and try to find positive ways to express ideas. You provide more options to the reader when you tell what can be done instead of what can't be done. Positive language creates goodwill and gives more options to readers.2.3.5 Being Courteous

Maintaining a courteous tone involves not just guarding against rudeness but also avoiding words that sound demanding to preachy. Expressions like you should，you must，and you have to cause people to instinctively react with“Oh，yeah？”one remedy is to turn these demands into rhetorical questions that begin with Will you please … Giving reasons for a request also soften the tone.

Even when you feel justified in displaying anger，remember that losing your temper or being sarcastic will seldom accomplish your goals as a business communicator to inform，to persuade，and to create goodwill. When you are irritated，frustrated，or infuriate，keep cool andtry to defuse the situation. Concentrate on the real problem，and focus on what must be done to solve it.2.3.6 Simplifying Your Language

In adapting your message to your audience，whenever possible use short，familiar words that you think they will recognize. Don't，however，avoid a big word that conveys your idea efficiently and is appropriate for the audience. Your goal is to shun pompous and pretentious language. Instead，use“Go”words. If you mean begin，don't say commence or initiate. If you mean give，don't write render. By substituting everyday，familiar words for unfamiliar ones，you help your audience comprehend your ideas quickly.

As the same time，be selective in your use of jargon. Jargon describes technical or specialized terms within a field. These terms enable insiders to communicate complex ideas briefly，but to outsiders they mean nothing. Human resources professionals，for example，know precisely what's meant by cafeteria plan（a benefits option program），but most of us would be thinking about lunch. Geologists refer to plate tectonics，and physicians discuss metastatic carcinomas. But these terms mean little to most of us. Use specialized language only when the audience will understand it. And don't forget to consider secondary audiences：Will those potential readers understand any technical terms used？2.3.7 Using Precise，Vigorous Words

Strong verbs and concrete nouns give readers more information and keep them interested. Don't overlook the thesaurus（or the thesaurus program on your computer）for expanding your word choices and vocabulary. Whenever possible，using familiar but precise words helps receivers understand.

By reviewing the tips listed above，you can master the steps of writing preparation. As you review these tips，remember the three basic of prewriting：analyzing，anticipating，and adapting2.4 Adapting to Legal Responsibilities

One of your primary responsibilities in writing for an organization or for yourself is to avoid language that may land you in court. In our current business environment，lawsuits abound，many of which center on the use and abuse of language. You can protect yourself and avoid litigation by knowing what's legal and by adapting your language accordingly. Be especially careful when communicating in the following fore areas：investments，safety，marketing，and human resources. Because these information areas generate the most lawsuits，they will be examined more closely.2.4.1 Investment Information

Writers describing the sale of stocks or financial services must follow specific laws written to protect investors. Any messages—including letters，newsletters，and pamphlets—must be free from misleading information，exaggerations，or halftruths. One company in Massachusetts inadvertently violated the law by declaring that it was“recession-proof”. After going bankrupt，the company，Lotus Development Corporation，caused a flurry of lawsuits by withholding information that revealed problems in a new version of its 1-2-3 program. Stockholders sued，charging that managers had deliberately concealed the bad news，thus keeping stock prices artificially high. Experienced financial writers know that careless language and even poor timing may provoke litigation.2.4.2 Safety Information

Writers describing potentially dangerous produces worry not only about protecting people from physical harm but also about being sued. During the past three decades，litigation arising from product liability has been the most active area of tort law（tort law involves wrongful civil acts other than breach of contract）. Manufacturers are obligated to warn consumers of any risks in their products. These warnings must do more than suggest danger；they must also clearly tell people how to use the product safely. In writing warnings concentrate on major points. Omit anything that is not critical. In the work area，describe a potential problem and tell how to solve it. For example，Lead dust is harmful and gets on your clothes. Chang your clothe before leaving work.

Clearly written safety messages use easy-to-understand words，such as doctor instead of physician，clean instead of sanitary，and burn instead of incinerate. Technical terms are defined. For example Asbestos is a carcinogen（something that cause cancer）. Effective safety messages also include highlighting techniques，such as using headings and bullets. In coming chapters you'll learn more about these techniques for improving readability.2.4.3 Marketing Information

Sales and marketing messages are illegal if they falsely advertise prices，performance capability，quality or other product characteristics. Marketing messages must not deceive the buyer in any way. A southern California entrepreneur，for example，promoted a Ban-Aid-like device，Le Patch，as“a dramatic breakthrough in weight control technology.”When worn around the waist，Le Patch was supposed to reduce appetite. The claims，however，could not be proved；and the promoter was charged with misrepresenting the product. Sellers of services must also be cautious about the language they use to describe what they will do. Letters，report，and proposals that describe services to be performed are interpreted as contracts in court.Therefore，language must not promise more than intended. Here are some dangerous words（and recommended alternatives）that have created misunderstanding leading to lawsuits.2.4.4 Human Resources Information

The vast number of lawsuits relating to employment makes this a treacherous area for business communicators. In evaluating employees in the workplace，avoid making unsubstantiated negative comments. It's also unwise to assess traits（she is unreliable）because they require subjective judgment. Concentrate instead on specific incidents（in the last month she missed four work days and was late three times）. Defamation lawsuits have become so common that some companies no longer provide letters of recommendation for former employees. To be safe，give recommendation only when the former employee authorizes the recommendation.

Statements in employee handbooks also require careful wording，because a court might rule that such statements are“implied contracts.”Consider the following handbook remark：“We at Hotstuff，Inc. show our appreciation for hard work and team spirit by rewarding everyone who performs well.”This seemingly harmless statement could make it difficult to fire an employee because of the implied employment promise. Companies are warned to avoid promissory phrases in writing job advertisements，application forms，and offer letters. Phrases that suggest permanent employment and guaranteed job security can be interpreted as contracts.

In adapting messages to meet today's litigious business environment，be sensitive to the rights of others and to your own rights. The key elements in this adaptation process are awareness of laws，sensitivity to interpretations，and careful use of language.

Chapter Review1. Name three ways in which business writing differs from other writing.2. Describe the components in each stage of the 3-x-3 writing process.3. Why should you“profile”your audience before composing a message？4. What is empathy，and how does it apply to business writing？5. Discuss the effects of first-person and second-person pronouns.

Critical Thinking1. Business communicators are encouraged to profile or“visualize”the audience for their message. How is this possible if you don't really know the people who will receive a sales letter or who will hear your business presentation？2. How can the 3-x-3 writing process help the writer of a business letter as well as the writer of an oral presentation？3. Ethical Issue：Suppose your superior asked you to change year-end financial data，and you knew that if you didn't，you might lose your job. What would you do if it were a smallamount？A large amount？

Words & Notes

Words

Multitude　n.　a very large number of people or things

Arena　n.　place or scene of activity or conflict

Subliminal　adj.　not being conscious of

Perception　n.　way of seeing and understanding something

Count　v.　to be of value or importance

e. g.　First impressions really do count.

Dazzle　v.　to impress someone greatly through splendor，ability，etc.

Substitute　n.　thing that replaces，acts for or serves as something else

Socialize　v.　to spend time with other people in a friendly way

e. g.　He enjoys socializing with his students after class.

Synthesize　v.　combine different parts into a whole

Foregoing　adj.　preceding；just mentioned

Visualize　v.　to form a mental picture；imagine

Pivotal　adj.　of great importance because other things depend on it；central

Demanding　adj.　（of a person）making others word hard，meet high standards，etc.

Spotlight　v.　to draw attention to someone or something

　e. g.　The article spotlights the problems of the homeless.

Index　n.　a sign by which the level of something can be judged or measured

Overkill　n.　much greater amount than is needed to achieve something

Defuse　v.　to reduce the dangerous tension in a difficult situation

Preachy　adj.　trying too much to persuade people to accept a particular opinion

Instinctively　adv.　Out of natural ability；without reasoning or training

Infuriated　adj.　extremely angry

Shun　v.　to keep away from something；avoid

Pompous　adj.　feeling that one is much more important than other people

Hog　v.　to keep or use all of something

Megabyte　n.　a million bytes兆字节

Flurry　n.　sudden burst of intense activity

Liability　n.　legal responsibility for something，especially for paying money that is owed，or for damage or injury

Litigious　adj.　too willing to take any disagreements to a court of law

Notes1. quality service—very good service2. double-checking—checking the spelling and grammar again so that one is completely sure.3. Ben Franklin—Benjamin Franklin（1706—1790），American printer，author，philosopher，diplomat，scientist and inventor，was one of the best known and most admired men in his time. He is probably best remembered for his role in separating the American colonies from Great Britain and in helping to frame both the Declaration of Independence and the U. S. Constitution.4. solid advice—advice that is reputable and reliable5. recession-proof—to be able to provide protection against recession；recession refers to a period of time during which there is less trade，business activity and wealth than usual6. tort—private or civil wrong（other than breach of contract）for which the wronged person may claim damages（受害者可要求获得损害赔偿的）侵权行为Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.——Bill GatesWhen you stop talking，you've lost your customer. When you turn your back，you've lost her.——Estée LauderChapter 2 Writing Process for Business Letters（2）—Writing【Learning Objectives】1. Contrast formal and informal methods for researching data and generating ideas.2. Specify how to organize data into lists and alphanumeric or decimal outlines.3. Compare direct and indirect patterns for organizing ideas.4. Discuss composing the first draft of a message，focusing on techniques for creating effective sentences.5. Define a paragraph and describe three classic paragraph plans and techniques for composing meaningful paragraphs.1. Researching Data and Generating Ideas

Business communicators face daily challenges that require data collection，idea generation，and concept organization. Theses activities are part of the second phase of the writing process，which includes researching，organizing，and composing.

No smart businessperson would begin writing a message before collecting all the needed information. We call this collection process research，a rather formal-sounding term. For simple documents，though，the procedure can be quite informal. Research is necessary before beginning to write because the information you collect helps shape the message. Discovering significant data after a message is half completed often means starting over and reorganizing. To avoid frustration and inaccurate messages，collect information that answers a primary question：

● What does the receiver need to know about this topic？

When the message involves action，search for answers to secondary questions：● What is the receiver to do？● How is the receiver to do it？● When must the receiver do it？● What will happen if the receiver doesn't do it？

Whenever your communication problem requires more information than you have in your head or at your fingertips，you must conduct research. This research may be formal or informal.1.1 Formal Research Methods

Long reports and complex business problems generally require some use of formal research methods. Suppose you are a market specialist for Coca-Cola，and your boss asks you to evaluate the impact on Coke sales of privatelabel or generic soft drinks（the bargain-basement-brand knockoffs sold at Walmart and other outlets）. Or，let's assume you must write a term paper for a college class. Both tasks require more data than you have in your head or at your fingertips. To conduct formal research，you could：● Search manually. You'll find helpful background and supplementary information through manual searching of resources in public and college libraries. These traditional sources include periodical indexes for lists of newspaper，magazine，and journal articles，along with the card catalog for books. Other manual sources are book indexes，encyclopedias，reference books，handbooks，dictionaries，directories，and almanacs.● Access electronically. Like other facets of life，the research process has been changed considerably by the computer. Much of the printed material just described is now available from the Internet，databases，or compact discs that can vices that permit you to access thousands of bibliographic or full-text databases.● Investigate primary sources. To develop firsthand，primary information for a project，go directly to the source. For the Coca-Cola report，for example，you could find out what consumers really think by conducting interviews or surveys，by putting together questionnaires，or by organizing focus groups. Formal research includes scientific sampling methods that enable investigators to make accurate judgments and valid predictions.● Experiment scientifically. Another source of primary data is experimentation. Instead of merely asking for the target audience's opinion，scientific researchers present choices with controlled variables. Assume，for example，that Coca-Cola wants to determine at what price and under what circumstances consumers would switch from Coca-Cola to generic brand. The results of such experimentation would provide valuable data for managerial decision making.1.2 Informal Research and Idea Generation

Most routine tasks—such as composing e-mail messages，memos，letters，informational reports，and oral presentations—require data that you can collect informally. For some projects，though，you rely more on your own ideas instead of—or in addition to—researching existing facts. Here are some techniques for collecting informal data and for generating ideas：● Look in the files. Before asking others for help，see what you can find yourself. For many routine messages you can often find previous documents to help you with content and format.● Talk with your boss. Get information from the individual making the assignment. What does that person know about the topic？What slant should be taken？What other sources wouldhe or she suggest？● Interview the target audience. Consider talking with individuals at whom the message is aimed. They can provide clarifying information that tells you what they want to know and how you should shape your remarks.● Conduct an informal survey. Gather unscientific but helpful information via questionnaires or telephone surveys. In preparing a memo report predicting the success of a proposed fitness center，for example，circulate a questionnaire asking for employee reactions.● Brainstorm for ideas. Alone or with others，discuss ideas for the writing task at hand，and record at least a dozen ideas without judging them. Small groups are especially fruitful in brainstorming because people spin ideas off one another.● Develop a cluster diagram. Prepare a cluster diagram to help you generate and organize ideas. Clustering allows your mind to open up and free associate.1.3 Collecting Information and Generating Ideas on the Job

Taking Ports，the women's clothing manufacturer，as example，to see how the manager，Lily Smith collected data and generated ideas for the company. One task is simple，and one is complex.

● Writing an informational E-mail memo. The first task is to write an informational memo，showed in Figure 2.1. It describes a photo contest sponsored by Ports. For this memo Lily began by brainstorming with her staff，other employees，and her boss to decide on a photo contest theme. After naming a theme，“Together We Win，”inspired by the Special Olympics，she consulted the files to see who had won prizes in last year's context. She also double-checked with management to ensure that the prize money of$500，$250，and$100 remained the same. Then she made the following quick scratch list outlining the points she wanted to cover in her memo.

Photo Contest E-mail Memo1. Announce theme；give examples2. Encourage all employees to participate3. Review prizes；name last year's winner4. Limit：one entry each5. Details in November；call Rosemary for more information

Many business messages，like Lily's finished memo，require only simple data-collection and ideageneration techniques.FIGURE 2.1　Informational E-mail Memo at Ports

● Preparing a Recruitment Brochure. The second project，though，demanded both formal and informal research，along with considerable creativity. Lily needed to produce a recruitment brochure that explained career opportunities for college students at Ports. She had definite objectives for the brochure：it should be colorful，exciting，concise，lightweight，and easily updated. Moreover，she wanted the brochure to promote Ports，describing its progressive benefits，community involvement，career potential，and corporate values program.

Some of her thoughts about this big project are shown in the cluster diagram in Figure 2.2. Cluster diagramming sparks our creativity；it encourages ideas to spill forth because the process is unrestricted. From the jumble of ideas in the initial cluster diagram，main catego-ries—usually three to five—are extracted. At this point some people are ready to make an out-line；others need further visualization，such as a set of subclusters，shown in Figure 2.3. Notice that four major categories（Purpose，Content，Development，and Form）were extracted from the initial diagram. These categories then became the hub of related ideas. This set of subclusters forms the basis for an outline，to be discussed shortly.FIGURE 2.2　Using Cluster Diagram to Generate Ideas for Ports College Recruiting Brochure

TIPS FOR ACTIVATING IDEAS● In the center of a clean sheet of paper，write your topic name and circle it.● Around that circle record any topic ideas that pop into your mind● Circle each separate idea● Avoid censoring ideas；record everything.● If ideas seem related，join them with lines，but don't spend time on organization just yet.FIGURE 2.3　Organizing Ideas from Cluster Diagram into Ports

To collect data for this project，Lily employed both formal and informal research methods. She studied recruiting brochures from other companies. She talked with college students to ask what information they sought in a brochure. She conducted more formal research among the numerous division presidents and executives within her company to learn what really went on in all the departments，such as Information Systems，Operations Management，Production，and Design. She also had to learn the specific educational and personality requirements for careers in those areas. Working with an outside consultant，she prepared a questionnaire，which was used in personal interviews with company executives. The interviews included some open-ended questions，such as“How did you start with the company？”It also contained more specific questions about the number of employees in their departments，intended career paths，degree requirements，personality traits desired，and so forth. Organizing the mass of data collected was the next task.2. Organizing Data

The process of organization may begin before you collect data，as it did for Lily，or occur simultaneously with data collection. For complex projects，organization may be ongoing. Regardless of when organization occurs，its primary goals are grouping and patterning. Well-organized messages group similar items together；ideas follow a sequence that helps the reader understand relationships and accept the writer's views. Unorganized messages proceed free-form，jumping from one thought to another. Such messages fail to emphasize important points. Puzzled readers can't see how the pieces fit together，and they become frustrated and irritated. Many communication experts regard poor organization as the greatest failing of business writers. Two simple techniques can help you organize data：the scratch list and the outline.2.1 Listing and Outlining

In developing simple messages，some writers make a quick scratch list of the topics they wish to cover，as Lily did fro her memo in Figure 2.1. Writers often jot this scratch list in the margin of the letter or memo to which they are responding—and the majority of business messages are written in response to other documents. These writers then compose a message at their computers directly from the scratch list.

Most writers，though，need to organize their ideas—especially if the project is complex—into a hierarchy，such as an outline. The beauty of preparing an outline is that it gives you a chance to organize your thinking before you get bogged down in word choice and sentence structure. Figure 2.4 shows two outline formats：alphanumeric and decimal. The familiar alphanumeric format uses Roman numerals，letters，and numbers to show major and minor ideas. The decimal format，which takes a little getting used to，has the advantage of showing how every item at every level relates to the whole. Both outlining formats force you to focus on the topic，identify major ideas，and support those ideas with details，illustrations，or evidence. Many computer outlining programs now on the market make the mechanics of process a real breeze.FIGURE 2.4　Two Outlining Formats

The hardest part of outlining is grouping ideas into components or categories—ideally three to five in number. By the way，these major categories will become the major headings in your report. If you have more than five components，look for ways to combine smaller segments into broader topics. The following example shows how a portion of the Ports brochure subcluster（Figure 2.3）can be organized into an alphanumeric outline.

I. Introduction

A. Brief history of Ports1. Founding，Fortune 500 status2. Product lines

B. Corporate environment1. System of values2. Team spirit；corporate image

II. Career opportunities

A. Operations management1. Traffic2. International trade and corporate customs3. Distribution

B. Accounting and finance1. General accounting2. Internal audit3. Treasury and risk management

C. Special opportunities1. Management training program2. Account executive sales training program3. Design studio

Notice that each major category is divided into at least two subcategories，which in turn are fleshed out with examples，details，statistics，case histories，and other data. In moving from major point to subpoint，you are progressing from large abstract concepts to small concrete ideas. And each subpoint could be further subdivided with more specific illustrations if you desired. You can determine the appropriate amount of detail by considering what your audience（primary and secondary）already knows about the topic and how much persuading you must do.

How you group ideas into components depends on your topic and your channel of communication. Business documents，on the other hand，do not have rigid page constraints. They usually contain typical components arranged in traditional patterns，as shown in Figure 2.5.FIGURE 2.5　Typical Major Components in Business Outlines

Thus far，you've seen how to collect information，generate ideas，and prepare an outline. How you order the information in your outline，though，depends on what pattern or strategy you choose.2.2 Organizing Ideas into Patterns

Two organizational patterns provide plans of action for typical business messages：the direct pattern and indirect pattern. The primary difference between the two patterns is where the main idea is placed. In the direct pattern the main idea comes first，followed by details，explanation，and evidence. In the indirect pattern the main idea follows the details，explanation，and evidence. The pattern you select is determined by how you expect the audience to react to the message.

● The Direct Pattern for Receptive Audiences

In preparing to write any message，you need to anticipate the audience's reaction to your ideas and frame your message accordingly. When you expect the reader to be pleased，mildlyinterested，or，at worst，neutral—use the direct pattern. That is，put your main point—the purpose of your message—in the first or second sentence. Compare the direct and indirect patterns in the following memo openings. Notice how long it takes to get to the main idea in the indirect opening.

Explanations and details should follow the direct opening. What's important is getting to the main ideas quickly. This direct method，also called frontloading，has at least three advantages：

Saves the reader's time. Many of today's businesspeople can devote only a few moments to each message. Messages that take too long to get to the point may lose their readers along the way.

Sets a proper frame of mind. Learning the purpose up front helps the reader put the subsequent details and explanations in perspective. Without a clear opening，the reader may be thinking，“Why am I being told this？”

Prevents frustration. Readers forced to struggle through excessive verbiage before reaching the main idea become frustrated. They resent the writer. Poorly organized messages create a negative impression of the writer.

Typical business messages that follow the direct pattern include routine requests and responses，orders and acknowledgments，nonsensitive memos，e-mail messages，informational reports，and informational oral presentations. All these tasks have one element in common：none has a sensitive subject that will upset the reader.

● The Indirect Pattern for Unreceptive Audiences

When you expect the audience to be uninterested，unwilling，displeased，or perhaps even hostile，the indirect pattern is more appropriate. In this pattern you don't reveal the main idea until after you have offered explanation and evidence. This approach works well with three kinds of messages：（1）bad news，（2）ideas that require persuasion，and（3）sensitive news，especially when being transmitted to superiors. The indirect pattern has these benefits：

Respects the feelings of the audience. Bad news is always painful，but the trauma can belessened when the receiver is prepared for it.

Ensures a fair hearing. Messages that may upset the reader are more likely to be read when the main idea is delayed. Beginning immediately with a piece of bad news or a persuasive request，for example，may cause the receiver to stop reading or listening.

Minimizes the negative reaction. A reader's overall reaction to a negative message is generally improved if the news is delivered gently.

In summary，business messages may be organized directly，with the main idea first，or indirectly，with the main idea delayed. Although these two patterns cover many communication problems，they should be considered neither universal nor inviolate. Every business transaction is distinct. Some messages are mixed：part good news，part bad；part goodwill，part persuasion. After practicing the direct and indirect patterns in typical situations，you'll have the skills and confidence to evaluate communication problems and vary these patterns depending on the goals you wish to achieve.3. Composing the First Draft

Once you've researched your topic，organized the data，and selected a pattern of organization，you're ready to begin composing. Communicators who haven't completed the preparatory work often suffer from“writer's block”and sit staring at a piece of paper or plan. Composition is also easier if you have a quiet environment in which to concentrate. Businesspeople with messages to compose set aside a given time and allow no calls，visitors or other interruptions. This is a good technique for students as well.

As you begin composing，keep in mind that you are writing the first draft，not the final copy. Experts suggest that you write quickly（sprint writing）. Get your thoughts down now and refine them in later versions. As you take up each idea，imagine that you are talking to the reader. Don't let yourself get bogged down. If you can't think of the right word，insert a substitute or type“find perfect word later”. Sprint writing works especially well for those composing on a computer because it's simple to make changes at any point of the composition process. If you are handwriting the first draft，double-space so that you have room for changes.3.1 Creating Effective Sentences

As you create your first draft，you'll be working at the sentence level of composition. Although you've used sentences all your life，you may be unaware of how they can be shaped and arranged to express your ideas most effectively. First，let's review some basic sentence elements.

Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense.

Clauses and phrases，the key building blocks of sentences，are related groups of words. Clauses have subjects and verbs；phrases do not.

Clauses may be divided into two groups：independent and dependent. Independent clauses are grammatically complete. Dependent clauses depend for their meaning on independent clauses. In the two preceding examples the clauses beginning with If and Because are dependent. Dependent clauses are often introduced by words such as if，when，because，and as.

By learning to distinguish phrases，independent clauses，and dependent clauses，you'll be able to punctuate sentences correctly and avoid three basic sentence faults：the fragment，the run-on sentence，and the comma splice. For now，let's look at some ways to make your sentences more readable.

Using short sentences. Because your goal is to communicate clearly，you're better off limiting your sentences to about 20 or fewer words. The American Press Institute reports that reader comprehension drops off markedly as sentence become longer. Thus，in crafting your sentences，think about the relationship between sentence length and comprehension：

Instead of stringing together clauses with and，but and however，break some of those complex sentences into separate segments. Business readers want to grasp ideas immediately. They can do that best when thoughts are separated into short sentences. On the other hand，too many monotonous short sentences will sound“grammar schoolish”and may bore or even annoy the reader. Strive for a balance between longer sentences and shorter ones.

Emphasizing important ideas. You can stress prominent ideas in three ways. The first is to place an important idea at the beginning of a sentence. Notice how the following sentence obscures the date of the meeting by burying it：All production and administrative personnel will meet May 23，at which time we will announce a new plan of salary incentives. To emphasize the date，start the sentence with it：On May 23 all personnel will meet … A secondary position of importance is the end of a sentence：All personnel will meet to discuss salary incentives on May 23. Remember this guideline when composing paragraphs as well；put the main idea at the start and then follow up with supporting material.

A second way to emphasize an important idea is to be sure that it acts as the subject in a sentence. Notice the difference between the sentences Michelle wrote the environmental report and The environmental report was written by Michelle. Michelle receives the emphasis in the first version；the report receives it in the second.

A third way to emphasize an idea is to place it in a short sentence. Important ideas can get lost when enveloped by numerous competing words. How quickly can you grasp the important idea in this sentence？This announcement is to inform all employees and guests that the hotel's restaurant will be closed Thanksgiving Day，although we do plan to resume restaurant services Friday at 7 a. m. to give impact to the main idea，present it in a short sentence：The hotel's restaurant will be closed Thanksgiving Day. Then，provide explanations and details.（1）Using the active voice. In the active voice the subject performs the action：Brandon selected new computers. In the passive voice the subject receives the action：New computers were selected by Brandon. Passivevoice sentences deemphasize the performer of the action. The per-former is in a phrase（by Brandon）or is totally absent（New computers were selected.）If you suspect that a verb is passive but you're not sure，try the“by whom？”test：New computer were selected [by whom]. If you can fill in the performer of the action，the sentence is probably passive. What difference does it make if the verb is active or passive？Active-voice sentences are more direct because they reveal the performer immediately. They're easier to understand and shorter. Most business writing should be in the active voice.（2）Using the passive voice selectively. Although we prefer active verbs in business writing，passive verbs are useful in certain instances. For example，when the performer is unknown or insignificant，use passive voice：Drug tests are given to all applicants. Who performs the drug test is unimportant. You can also sue the passive voice to tactfully deflect attention away from the people involved：Three totals were calculated incorrectly. Notice that this sentence stresses the problem while concealing the person who committed the error.（3）Avoiding dangling and misplaced modifiers. For clarity，modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. A modifier dangles when word or phrase it describes is missing from its sentence. A modifier is misplaced when the word or phrase it describes is not close enough to be clear. In both instances，the solution is to position the modifier closer to the word it describes or limits. Introductory verbal phrases are particularly dangerous；be sure to follow them immediately with the words they can logically describe or modify.

Try this trick for detecting and remedying these dangling modifiers. Ask the question who？or what？after any introductory phrase. The words immediately following should tell the reader who or what is performing the action. Try the“who？”test on the previous danglers.3.2 Drafting Meaningful Paragraphs

From composing sentences，we progress to paragraphs. A paragraph is one or more sentences designated as a separate thought group. To avoid muddled paragraphs，writers must recognize basic paragraph elements，conventional sentence patterns，and ways to organize sentences into one of three classic paragraph patterns. They must also be able to polish their paragraphs by linking sentences and using transitional expressions.

Discussing one topic. Well-constructed paragraphs discuss only one topic. They reveal the primary idea in a main sentence that usually，but not always，appears first. Other ideas，connected logically with transitional expressions（verbal road signs），support or illustrate that idea.

Organizing sentences into paragraphs. Paragraphs are generally composed of three kinds of sentences：

Main sentence：expresses the primary idea of the paragraph.

Supporting sentence：illustrates，explains，or strengthens the primary idea.

Limiting sentence：opposes the primary idea by suggesting a negative or contrasting thought；may precede or follow the main sentence.

These sentences may be arranged in three classic paragraph plans：direct，pivoting，and indirect.

Using the direct paragraph plan. Paragraphs arranged in the direct plan begin with themain sentence，followed by supporting sentences. Most business messages use this paragraph plan because it clarifies the subject immediately. This plan is useful whenever you must define（a new product or procedure），classify（parts of whole），illustrate（an idea），or describe（a process）. Simply start with the main sentence；then strengthen and amplify that idea with supporting ideas，as shown here：

You can alter the direct plan by adding a limiting sentence if necessary. Be sure，though，that you follow with sentences that return to the main idea and support it，as shown here：

Using the pivoting paragraph plan. Paragraphs arranged in the pivoting plan start with a limiting sentence that offers a contrasting or negative idea before delivering the main sentence. Notice in the following example how two limiting sentences about drawbacks to foreign service careers open the paragraph；only then do the main and supporting sentences describing rewards in foreign service appear. The pivoting plan is especially useful for comparing and contrasting idea. In using the pivoting plan，be sure you emphasize the turn in direction with an obvious but or however.

You'll learn more techniques for implementing direct and indirect writing strategies when you prepare letters.

Linking ideas to build coherence. Paragraphs are coherent when ideas are linked，that is，when one idea leads logically to the next. Well-written paragraphs take the reader through a number of steps. When the author skips from Step 1 to Step 3 and forgets Step 2，the reader is lost. You can use several techniques to keep the reader in step with your ideas.● Sustaining the key idea. This involves simply repeating a key expression or using a similar one. For example：

Our philosophy holds that every customer is really a guest. All new employees to our theme parks are trained to treat guests as VIPs. These VIPs are never told what they can or cannot do.

Notice how the repetition of guest and VIP connects ideas.

● Using pronouns. Familiar pronouns，such as we，they，he，she，and it，help build continuity，as do demonstrative pronouns，such as this，that，these，and those. These words confirm that something under discussion is still being discussed. For example：

All new park employees receive a two-week orientation. They learn that every staffer has a vital role in preparing for the show. This training includes how to maintain enthusiasm.

Be careful with this，that，these，and those，however. These words usually need a noun with them to make their meaning absolutely clear. In the last example notice how confusing this becomes if the word training is omitted.

● Dovetailing sentences. Sentences are“dovetailed”when an idea at the end of one connects with an idea at the beginning of the next. For example：

New hosts and hostesses learn about the theme park and its facilities. These facilities include telephones，food services，bathrooms，and attractions，as well as the location of offices. Knowledge of administrative offices and internal workings of the company，such as who's who in administration，ensures that staffers will be able to serve guests fully. Serving guests，of course，is our number one priority.

Dovetailing of sentences is especially helpful with dense，difficult topics. This technique，however，should not be overused.

● Using transitional expressions to build coherence. Transitional expressions are another excellent device for achieving paragraph coherence. These words，some of which are shown in Figure 2.6，act as verbal road signs to readers and listeners. Transitional expressions enable the receiver to anticipate what's coming，to reduce uncertainty，and to speed up comprehension. They signal that a train of thought is moving forward，being developed，possibly detouring，or ending. Transitions are especially helpful in persuasive writing.FIGURE 2.6　Words Acted as Verbal Road Signs to Readers and Listeners

As Figure 2.6 shows，transitions can add or strengthen a thought，show time or order，clarify ideas，show cause and effect，contradict thoughts，and contrast ideas. Thus，you must be careful to select the best transition for your purpose. Look back at the examples of direct，pivoted，and indirect paragraphs to see how transitional expressions and other devices build paragraph coherence. Remember that coherence in communication rarely happens spontaneously；it requires effort and skill.

● Composing short paragraph. Although no rule regulates the length of paragraphs，business writers recognize the value of short paragraphs. Paragraphs with fewer than eight lines look inviting and readable，whereas long，solid chunks of print appear formidable. If a topic can't be covered in fewer than eight printed lines（not sentences），consider breaking it up into smaller segments.

Chapter Review1. How does a writer“brainstorm”？2. Describe an alphanumeric outline.3. What is the relationship between the major categories in an outline and those in a report written from the outline？4. Name three ways to emphasize important idea in sentences.5. What is coherence，and how is it achieved？

Critical Thinking1. Why is audience analysis so important in choosing the direct or indirect pattern of organization for a business message？2. Why are short sentences and short paragraphs appropriate for business communication？3. Ethical Issue：Discuss the ethics of the indirect pattern of organization. Is it manipulative to delay presentation of the main idea in a message？

Words & Notes

Words

Alphanumeric　adj.　字母数字（混合编制）的

Decimal　adj.　小数的；十进位的

Aggressive　adj.　being determined to win or succeed and using strong methods to achieve victory or success

Approach　n.　a way of considering or a way of dealing with things

Abuse　n.　bad treatment

Retrieval　n.　locating and reading（data）from computer storage

Questionnaire　n.　list of（usu. printed）questions to be answered by a group of people，esp. to get facts or information，or for a survey

Circulate　v.　to（cause to）pass or be sold from place to place，etc.

Brainstorm　v.　（of a group of people）to suggest a lot of ideas for（a future activity）very quickly before considering some of them carefully

Scratch　n.　something made or put together in a hurry

Outline　v.　to state the chief facts，points，etc.

e. g.　She outlined the main points of her lecture.

Recruitment　n.　seeking to hire，enroll，or enlist（a person）in a group，company，or organization

Lightweight　adj.　weighing only a little or less than average

Jumble　n.　a lot of different，old things

Visualization　n.　imagining or remembering something or someone by forming a picture in your mind

Mechanics　n.　routine or basic methods，procedures，or techniques of doing things

Audit　n.　an examination of records or financial accounts to check their accuracy

Anticipate　v.　to foresee

e. g.　We anticipated that the enemy would attack us frontally.

Internship　n.　the position of an intern

Frontloading　n.　locating or pointing out the main idea at the very beginning（开门见山的方法）

Substitute　n.　thing that one puts in the place of another

Sprint　v.　to run at full speed for a short distance

Distinguish　v.　to notice or understand the difference between two things

e. g.　Reason distinguishes man from the animals.

Monotonous　adj.　dull because of lack of variety；not interesting

Guideline　n.　a policy or rule intended to give practical guidance

Envelop　v.　to cover or surround（something）completely

Deemphasize　v.　to reduce the importance of

Modifier　n.　a person or thing that modifies；esp. a word，phrase，or clause that limits the meaning of another word or phrase（adjectives and adverbs are modifiers）

Candidate　n.　someone who asks for a job，position，etc.

Polish　v.　to make something complete，perfect，or elegant

Enhance　v.　to make greater，as in value or beauty

e. g.　Her beauty was enhanced by make-up.

Pivoting　adj.　central

Drawback　n.　disadvantage

Khaki　n.　yellow brown cloth.

Staffer　n.　a member of a staff of employees.

Chunk　n.　a thick mass or piece

Inventory　n.　a detailed，itemized list，report，or record of things in one's possession，especially a periodic survey of all goods and materials in stock（存货清单）

Warranty　n.　official authorization or sanction（担保）

Notes1. bottling fog——putting fog into bottles. Here the expression refers to the extreme difficulty in achieving human right in the apparel industry2. CEO——Chief Executive Officer3. sweatshop conditions——very poor working conditions in a sweatshop，a small factory where workers are underpaid and overworked.4. cluster diagram——a close group of similar plans which are made to help generate and organize ideas5. before you get bogged down in word choice and sentence structure—before you becometoo busy with word choice and sentence structure6. the fragments，the run-on sentences，and the comma splice——只言片语（句子不连贯），连写句（乱加从句的冗长句子），逗号误用7. dangling modifier——垂悬修饰语8. transitional expressions——过渡用语He that cannot is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave.——Andrew CarnegieIn the end，all business operations can be reduced to three words：people，product and profits. Unless you've got a good team，you can't do much with the other two.——Jack WelchChapter 3 Writing Process for Business Letters（3）—Revising【Learning Objectives】1. Identify revision techniques that make a document clear，conversational，and concise.2. Describe revision tactics that make a document vigorous and direct.3. Discuss revision strategies that improve readability.4. List problem areas that good proofreaders examine carefully.5. Compare the proofreading of routine and complex documents.6. Evaluate a message to judge its success.1. Revising Messages

The final phase of the 3-x-3 writing process focuses on revising，proofreading，and evaluating. Revising means improving the content and sentence structure of your message. Proof-reading involves correcting its grammar，spelling，punctuation，format，and mechanics. Evaluating is the process of analyzing whether your message achieved its purpose. One would not expect people in the restaurant business to require these kinds of skills. Yet，the new culinary product manager at Taco Bell—and many other similar businesspeople—realize that their ideas are worth little unless they can be communicated effectively to fellow workers and to management. in the communication process the techniques of revision can often mean the difference between the acceptance or rejection of idea.

While the composition process differs for individuals and situations，this final phase should occupy a significant share of the total time you spend on a message. As you learned earlier，some experts recommend devoting about half the total composition time to revising and proofreading.

Rarely is the first or even second version of a message satisfactory. One authority says：“Only the amateur expects writing perfection on the first try.”The revision stage is your chance to make sure your message says what you mean. Many professional writers compose the first draft quickly without worrying about language，precision，or correctness. Then they revise and polish extensively. Other writers，however，prefer to revise as they go—particularly forshorter business documents.

Important messages—such as those you send to management or to customers or turn in to instructors for grades—deserve careful revision and proofreading. When you finish a first draft，plan for a cooling-off period. Put the document aside and return to it after a break，preferably after 24 hours or longer.

Whether you revise immediately or after a break，you'll want to examine your message critically. You should be especially concerned with ways to improve its clarity，conciseness，vigor and readability.1.1 For Clarity

One of the first revision tasks is assessing the clarity of your message. A clear message is one that is immediately understood. To achieve clarity，resist the urge to show off or be fancy. Remember that your goal is not to impress an instructor. Instead，the goal of business writing is to express，not impress. This involves two simple rules：1）keep it simple and 2）keep it conversational.

Whatever the cause，you can eliminate the fog by applying the familiar KISS formula：Keep It Short and Simple！ One way to achieve clear writing is to use active-voice sentences that avoid foggy，indirect，and pompous language.1.2 For Conversation

Clarity is further enhanced by language that sounds like conversation. This doesn't mean that your letters and memos should be chatty or familiar. Rather，you should strive to sound professional，yet not artificial or formal. This means avoiding legal terminology，technical words，and third-person constructions. Business messages should sound warm，friendly，and conversational—not stuffy and formal. To sound friendly，include occasional contractions（can't，doesn't）and first-person pronouns（I/we）. This warmth is appropriate in all but the most formal business reports. You can determine if your writing is conversational by trying the kitchen test. If it wouldn't sound natural in your kitchen，it probably needs revision. Note how the following formal sentences were revised to pass the kitchen test.1.3 For Conciseness

Another revision task is making certain that a message makes its point in the fewest possible words. One of the shortest and most effective business letter ever written contained only 19 words. Composed by business tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt，the following masterpiece in brevity was sent to a pair of business associates who tried to swindle him while he vacationed in Europe：

Gentlemen：

You have undertaken to cheat me. I won't sue you，for the law is too slow. I'll ruin you.

Yours truly，

Cornelius Vanderbilt

Messages without flabby phrases and redundancies are easier to comprehend and more emphatic because main points stand out，as Vanderbilt's letter proves. Efficient messages also save the reader valuable time.

Many busy executive today won't read wordy reports. Chairman Martin Kallen，of Monsanto Europe，“flipped”because too much paper was clogging the company. He complained that reports were too long，too frequent，and too unread. He then decreed that all writing be more concise，and he refused to read any report that was not summarized in two or fewer pages. Similarly，Procter & Gamble，the giant household products manufacturer，for years required all memos to be limited to one page. The president returned long messages，urging writers to“boilit down to something I can grasp.”And Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates is said to stop reading e-mail messages after three screens.

But concise writing is not easy. As one expert copyeditor observed，“Trim sentences，like trim bodies，usually require far more effort than flabby ones.”To turn out slim sentences and lean messages，you do not have to be brusque，rude，or simpleminded. Instead，you must take time in the revision stage to“trim the fat”and before you can do that，you must learn to recognize it. Locating and excising wordiness involves 1）removing opening fillers，2）eliminating redundancies，3）reducing compound prepositions，and 4）purging empty words.

Removing Opening Fillers. Openers like there is and it is fill in sentences but generally add on meaning. These fillers reveal writers spinning their wheels until deciding where the sentence is going. Train yourself to question these constructions. About 75 percent of sentence-opening fillers can be eliminated，almost always resulting in more emphatic and more efficient sentences.

Wordy　There are three things I want you to do.

Concise

Wordy　It is important to start meetings on time.

Concise

Eliminating Redundancies. Expressions that repeat meaning or include unnecessary words are redundant. To say unexpected surprise is like saying“surprise surprise”because unexpected carries the same meaning as surprise. Excessive adjectives，adverbs，and phrases often create redundancies and wordiness. The following list represents a tiny segment of the large number of redundancies appearing in business writing today. What word in each expression creates the redundancy？

Redundancies to Avoid

advance warning　exactly identical　perfectly clear

alter or change　few in number　personal opinion

assemble together　free and clear　potential opportunity

basic fundamentals　grateful thanks　positively certain

collect together　great majority　proposed plan

consensus of opinion　integral part　refer back

contributing factor　last and final　serious interest

dollar amount　midway between　true facts

each and every　new changes　visible to the eye

end result　past history　unexpected surprise

Reducing Compound Prepositions. Single words can often replace wordy prepositionalphrases. In the following examples，notice how the shorter forms say the same thing but more efficiently.

Purging Empty Words. Familiar phrases roll off the tongue easily，but many contain expendable parts. Be alert to these empty words and phrases：case，degree，the fact that，factor，instance，nature，and quality. notice how much better the following sentences sound when we remove all the empty words：

In the case of USA Todaythe newspaper improved its readability.

Because ofthe degree of active participation by our sales reps，profits soared.

We are awareof the fact that many managers need assistance.

Also avoid saying the obvious. In the following examples notice how many unnecessary words we can omit through revision：

When it arrived，I cashed your check immediately.（Announcing the check's arrival is unnecessary. That fact is assumed in its cashing.）

We need printer cartridges；therefore，please send me two dozen laser cartridges.（The first clause is obvious.）

This is to inform you that the meeting will start at 2 p. m.（Avoid unnecessary leadin.）

Finally，look carefully at clauses beginning with that，which，and who. They can often be shortened without loss of clarity. Search for phrases，such as it appears that. Such phrases can be reduced to a single adjective or adverb，such as apparently.

Changing the name of a successful companythat is successful is always risky.

All employeeswho are among those completing the course will be reimbursed.

Our final proposal，which was slightly alteredin its final form，won approval.1.4 For Vigor and Directness

Much business writing has been criticized as lifeless，cautious，and“really，really boring.”This boredom results not so much from content as from wordiness and dull，trite expressions. You've already studied ways to improve clarity and conciseness. You can also reduce wordiness and improve vigor by 1）kicking the noun habit and 2）dumping trite business phrases.

Kicking the Noun Habit. Some writers become addicted to nouns，needlessly transforming verbs into nouns（we make a recommendation of instead of we recommend）. This bad habit increases sentence length，drains verb strength，slows the reader，and muddies the thought. Notice how efficient，clean，and forceful the verbs below sound compared with their noun phrase counterparts.

Dumping Trite Business Phrases. To sound“businesslike”，many writers repeat the same stale expressions that other writers have used over the years. Your writing will sound fresher and more vigorous if you eliminate these phrases or find more original ways to convey the idea.1.5 For Readability

To help receivers anticipate and comprehend ideas quickly，two special writing techniques are helpful：1）parallelism，which involves balanced writing，and 2）highlighting，which makes important points more visible. And to ensure that your document is readable，consider applying the Fog Index，a readability measure described later.

Developing Parallelism. As you revise，be certain that you express similar ideas in balanced or parallel construction. For example，the phrase clearly，concisely and correctly is parallel because all the words end in-ly. To express the list as clearly，concisely，and with correctness is jarring because the last item is not what the receiver expects. Instead of an adverb，the series ends with a noun. To achieve parallelism，match nouns with nouns，verbs with verbs，phrases with phrases，and clauses with clauses. Avoid mixing active-voice verbs with passive-voice verbs.

Be alert to a list or series of items；the use of and or or should signal you to check for balanced construction. When elements cannot be balanced fluently，consider revising to subordinate or separate the items.

Applying Graphic Highlighting. One of the best ways to improve comprehension is through graphic highlighting techniques. Spotlight important items by setting them off with● Letter，such as（a），（b），and（c），within the text● Numerals，such as 1，2，and 3，listed vertically● Bullets—black squares，raised periods，or other figures● Headings● Capital letters，underscores，boldface，and italics

Ideas formerly buried within sentences or paragraphs stand out when targeted with one of these techniques. Readers not only understand your message more rapidly and easily but also consider you efficient and well organized. In the following sentence notice how highlighting with letters makes the three items more visible and emphatic.

Headings are another choice for highlighting information. They force the writer to organize carefully so that similar data are grouped together. And they help the reader separate major ideas from details. Moreover，headings enable a busy reader to skim familiar or less important information. They also provide a quick preview or review. Although headings appear more often in reports，they are equally helpful in complex letters and memos. Here，they informally summarize items within a message：

Highlighted with Headings

Nordstrom focuses on the following areas in the employment process：● Attracting applicants. We advertise for qualified applicants，and we also encourage current employees to recommend good people.● Interviewing applicants. Our specialized interviews include simulated customer encounters as well as scrutiny by supervisors.● Checking references. We investigate every applicant thoroughly，including conversations with former employers and all listed references.

Measuring Readability

Experts have developed methods for measuring how easy，or difficult，a message is to read. Probably the best known is Robert Gunning's Fog Index，which measures long words and sentence length to determine readability. The following steps show you how to apply eight steps in figuring the Fox Index for a piece of writing，such as the sample business letter shown.APPLYING THE FOG INDEX TO DETERMINE READABILITY

One way to calculate the“readability”of a document is by applying the Gunning Fog Index. Here's how you can figure it manually for the business letter shown here.

Step 1. Select the Passage. Choose a continuous passage of between 100 and 130 words.

Step 2. Count the Total Words. Count numbers，dates，and abbreviations as separate words. Our business letter sample has 110 words.

Step 3. Count the Sentences. Count all independent clauses separately. For example，He applied，and he was hired counts as two sentences. Our sample has seven sentences，marked with superscript numbers.

Step 4. Find the average sentence length. Divide the total number of words by the number of sentences（110 divided by 7 equals 16 words.）

Step 5. Count the Number of long words. A word is long if it has three or more syllables. Exclude（a）capitalized words，（b）compound words formed from short words，and（c）verbs made into three syllables by the addition of-ed or-es（located，finances）. In our sample the long words are underlined.

Step 6. Find the Percentage of Long Words. Divide the number of long words by the number of total words（10 divided by 110 equals 9 percent）.

Step 7. Add the Results. Add the average sentence length（16）and the percentage of long words（9）. The result is 25.

Step 8. Multiply. Multiply by 0.4（25×0.4 equals 10）. The reading level of this letter is 10. Sample Letter：Dear Mrs. Lawrence，Yes. I can meet with you Thursday，April 3. at 10 a. m. to discuss possible ways to finance the purchase of a new home in San Diego. Before we meet，though，you might like toconsider twopossible plans.The first plan finances your purchase with swing loan，which has a fixedinterest rate for a shout period of time. A second plan requires you torefinance your presentresidence. We have located five programs from three different institutions that would do this. Enclosed is asummary of these five plans. I look forward to seeing you Thursday to find a way for you to own a home in San Diego.Sincerely，SUSAN FORD（Signature）Susan Ford

Readability formulas，however，don't always tell the full story. Although they provide a rough estimate，those based solely on word and sentence counts fail to measure meaningfulness. Even short words can cause trouble if readers don't recognize them. More important than length are a word's familiarity and meaningfulness to the reader.

The task of revision is hard work. it demands objectivity and willingness to cut，cut，cut. Though painful，the process is also gratifying. It's a great feeling when you realize your finished message is clear，concise，and readable.2. Proofreading for the Finishing Touch

Once you have the message in its final form，it's time to proofread it. Don't proofread earlier because you may waste time checking items that eventually are changed or omitted.2.1 The Parts to Watch for in Proofreading

Careful proofreaders check for problems in these areas：● Spelling. Now's the time to consult the dictionary. Do you mean affect or effect？use computer spell checker，but don't rely on it totally.● Grammar. Locate sentence subjects；do their verbs agree with them？Do pronouns agree with their antecedents？● Punctuation. Make sure that introductory clauses are followed by commas. In compound sentences put commas before coordinating conjunctions（and，or but，nor）double-check your use of semicolons and colons.● Names and Numbers. Computer all names and numbers with their sources because inaccuracies are not immediately visible. Especially verify the spelling of the names of individuals receiving the message. Most of us immediately dislike someone who misspells our name.● Format. Be sure that your document looks balanced on the page. Compare its parts and format with those of standard documents. If you indent paragraphs，be certain that all are indented.2.2 The Ways to Proofread Routine Documents

Most routine documents require a light proofreading. You may be working with a handwritten or a printed copy or on your computer screen. If you wish to print a copy，make it a rough draft（don't print it on letterhead stationery）. In time，you may be able to produce a“first-time-final”message，but beginning writers seldom do.

For handwritten or printed messages，read the entire document. Watch for all of the items just described. Use standard proofreading marks.

For computer messages you can read the document on the screen，preferably in WYSIW-YG mode（what you see is what you get）. Use the down arrow to reveal one line at a time，thus focusing your attention at the bottom of the screen. A safer proof-reading method，however，is reading from a printed copy. You're more likely to find errors and to observe the tone.“Things really look different on paper，”observed veteran writer Louise Lague at People magazine.“Don't just pull a letter out of the printer and stick it in an envelope. Read every sentence again. You'll catch bad line endings，strange page freaks，and weird spacing. You can also get a totally different feeling about what you've said when you see it in print. Sometimes you can say something with a smile on your face；but if you put the same thing in print，it won't work.”2.3 The Ways to Proofread Complex Documents

Long，complex，or important documents demand more careful proofreading using the following techniques：● Print a copy，preferably double-spaced，and set it aside for at least a day. You'll be more alert after a breather.● Allow adequate time to proofread carefully. A common excuse for sloppy proofreading is lacking of time.● Be prepared to find errors. One student confessed，“I can find other people's errors，but I can't seem to locate my own.”Psychologically，we don't expect to find errors，and we don't want to find them. You can overcome this obstacle by anticipating errors and congratulating，not criticizing，yourself each time you find one.● Read the message at least twice—once for word meanings and once for grammar/mechanics. For very long documents（book chapter and long articles or reports）. read a third time to verify consistency in formatting.● Reduce your reading speed. Concentrate on individual words rather than ideas.● For documents that must be perfect，have someone read the message aloud. Spell names and difficult words，note capitalization，and read punctuation.● Use standard proofreading marks to indicate changes.

Your computer word processing program may include a style or grammar checker. These programs generally analyze aspects of your writing style，including readability level and use of passive voice，trite expressions，split infinitives，and wordy expressions. Some of them，such as Word 2000，use sophisticated technology to identify significant errors. In addition to finding spelling and typographical errors，Word 2000 will find subject-verb lack of agreement，word misuse，spacing irregularities，punctuation problems，and many other faults. But it won't find everything.3. Evaluating the Product

As part of applying finishing touches，take a moment to evaluate your writing. How successful will this message be？Does it say what you want it to？Will it achieve your purpose？How will you know if it succeeds？

The best way to judge the success of your communication is through feedback. Thus，you should encourage the receiver to respond to your message. This feedback will tell you how to modify future efforts to improve your communication technique.

Many businesses today spend thousands of dollars bringing in communication consultants to improve employee writing skills. Take advantage of this chance during your college—one of the few you may have—to improve your skills. The best way to improve your skills，of course，is through instruction，practice，and evaluation.

In this class you have all three elements：instruction in the writing process（summarized in Figure 3.1），practice materials，and someone willing to guide and evaluate your efforts. Those three elements are the reasons that this book and this course may be the most valuable in your entire curriculum. Because it's almost impossible to improve your communication skills alone，grab this chance.FIGURE 3.1　The Complete 3-x-3 Writing Process

Chapter Review1. Why should a writer avoid an expression such as We hope you will give consideration to our proposal？2. Discuss five ways to highlight important ideas.3. What is parallelism，and how can you achieve it？4. Name five specific items to check in proofreading. Be ready to discuss methods you find useful in spotting these errors.5. In proofreading，what major psychological problem do you face in finding errors？How can you overcome this barrier？

Critical Thinking1. Why should the proofreading process for routine documents differ from that for complex documents？2. Ethical Issue：What advice would you give in this ethical dilemma？Lisa is serving as interim editor of the company newsletter. She receives an article written by the company president describing，in abstract and pompous language，the company's goals for the coming year. Lisa thinks the article will need considerable revising to make it readable. Attached to the president's article are complimentary comments by two of the company vice presidents. What action should Lisa take？

Words & Notes

Words

downtrodden　adj.　badly and unfairly treated and therefore feeling worthless and unable to act independently

underdog　n.　a defeated dog；one who is expected to lose a contest or sruggle

novelty　n.　something new and unusual

high-profile　adj.　receiving a lot of attention and interest from the public

surpass　v.　to be or go beyond

mainstream　n.　the way of life or set of beliefs accepted by most people

capitalize　v.　to take advantage of

format　n.　the way data is，or is to be，arranged in a file，on a card，disk，tape，etc.

vigor　n.　strength and force；energy；vitality

obscure　v.　to conceal or hide by or as if by convering

eliminate　v.　to get rid of；to remove

pompous　adj.　full of high-sounding phrases

optimal　adj.　most desirable or favorable

terminology　n.　the set of terms used in any art，science，etc.

credit　v.　to put money into one's account

aforementioned　adj.　mentioned previously or before.

swindle　v.　to cheat

flip　v.　to turn over quickly

clog　v.　to become blocked or filled so that movement or activity is difficult

flabby　adj.　lacking in stiffness or firmness

trite　adj.　not fresh；too often used to be meaningful or effective

parallelism　n.　the use of parallel structure in writing

spotlight　v.　to make noticeable

vertically　adv.　垂直地

bullet　n.　a symbol，often a small black circle，used in printing and some-times in writing either to show the beginning of or to separate items in a list

simulated　adj.　not real，but made to look，feel，etc. like a real thing，situation，or feeling

objectivity　n.　the state or quality of being objective

superscript　adj.　写在字上面的

antecedent　n.　a preceding occurrence，cause，or event

typo　n.　typographical error

veteran　adj.　experienced through long service or practice

verify　v.　to determine or test the truth or accuracy of，as by comparison，investigation，or reference

awkward　adj.　lacking grace or dexterity

legitimate　adj.　of the normal or regular type or kind

curriculum　n.　a course，esp. the course of study at a school，college，university，etc

grab　v.　to take something roughly and quickly

contraction　n.　a shortened form of a word or group of words

upgrade　v.　to improve the usefulness of

e. g.　They need to upgrade the pay and status of teachers.

Notes1. boil it down to something I can grasp—shorten it so that I can understand it easily2. trim the fat—cut out the unnecessary or unimportant part3. readability formulas—general rules for readability4. word and sentence counts—total number of words and sentences5. pursuant to your request—in pursuit of your request；to achieve what you have requested6. dismiss spell checkers as annoyance—don't think spell checkers are important and disregard them as annoying7. split infinitives——分裂不定式8. look on these comments as valuable advice tailored to your specific writing weaknesses and strengths—regard these comments as valuable advice particularly aimed at your specific writing weaknesses and strengths9. wordy sentences and solid paragraphs——冗长的句子和紧密的段落If you do build a great experience，customers tell each other about that. Word of mouth is very powerful.——Jeffrey Preston BezosBusiness is not just doing deals；business is having great products，doing great engineering，and providing tremendous service to customers. Finally，business is a cobweb of human relationships.——Henry Ross PerotChapter 4 Business Letters Writing【Learning Objectives】1. Learn How to Address Envelopes.2. Describe the Layout of Business Letters with Seven Principal Parts and Supplementary Elements. 3. List the Forms of Business Letters.1. Envelope Addressing

All the transactions depend on exchange of information. In modern international business，information is of dominant significance，and its exchange can be made in various methods either in speaking or in writing. As written forms can secure complete understanding between the parties involved，they stand as a permanent record of each transaction. There are many types of written communication，including letters，reports telegrams，telexes，etc. business letters are the principle means used by firms or companies to keep in touch with their customers. They are sent to ask for or to convey information，to make or accept an offer，to deal with matters concerning negation of business and so on. Foreign trade personnel should not only understand but also be good at business letters.

Following parts will illustrate the important requirements of envelope addressing.1.1 The Basic Principles of Addressing Envelope

The basic principles of addressing envelope are accuracy，legibility and good appearance. Here are two forms，which show，respectively，the indented form of address and the blocked form of address. In the second method the word“confidential”could be placed at the bottom left，or more often，under the sender's address.1.2 The Forms of Address

Generally speaking，sender's name and address are written at the left-hand top of the envelope，while recipient's name and address are centered on the cover of the envelope（Figure 4.1）. If sender's name and address do not appear on the cover，it can be written on the back of the envelope（Figure 4.2）.FIGURE 4.1FIGURE 4.2

If the letter is forwarded to instead of mailing，such words as“Kindness of …（name of middleman）”or“By courtesy of …（name of the middleman）”or“By favor of …（name of middleman）”should be written in.

The letter of introduction is usually sent by the holder who is introduced. Phrases like“Introducing Mr.（Mrs.，Miss，etc.）…（name）”，“To introduce …（name）”or“Recommending …（name）”will be written at the left-hand top of the envelope which are used with the same function as“Hereby introduce sb …”.

Nature of the letter will be shown at the left-hand bottom of the envelope，such as“Personal”or“Confidential”or“Private”；if possible，“Immediate”or“Urgent”or“Rush”can be marked，too.

For the convenience of delivery of letters，some conventional marks can be shown on the envelope in light of international conventions as follows.FIGURE 4.3

①In the place of“A”，the following phrases are okay.

If undelivered，please return to … （无法投递，退回原处）

After 10 days，please return to …（10天后请寄回）

Return Postage Guaranteed（回信邮资已付）

Via San Francisco（经由旧金山）

Introducing Mr …（兹介绍……先生转交）

Kindness of Mr. …（敬烦……先生转交）

By airmail to San Francisco，by train to Hong Kong （到旧金山用航空，到香港用火车）

②In the place of“B”are：

Printed Matter（印刷品）

Sample（样品）

Sample of No Value（无价值的样品）

With Compliments（赠品）

Photo Only（内有照片，请勿折叠）

③In the place of“C”are：

Via Airmail；By Airmail；Par Avion

④In the place of“D”are：

Urgent（急件）

Confidential（密件）2. The Layout of Business Letters

Letters must be clear，coherent and well-organized. While writing a business letter，the conventional，established format or layout is needed to follow.2.1 Seven Principal Parts

Normally a business letter comprises seven principal parts：the letter-head（heading），date，inside address，the salutation，the body，complimentary close，and signature. Each of these parts has a special form depending on the type of the letter. Occasionally，a letter may also include some special parts.2.1.1 Letter-head

Letter-head usually is printed at the center or in the right corner of the top of sheet. It includes the essential particulars about the writer—his name and postal address，telephone number，his telegraphic and telex addresses，the fax number and telegraphic codes used and even his website. Good quality paper and a neat，well-organized letter-head combine to enhance the prestige of the firm that sues them.318 Cactus DriveTucson，Arizona 85708May 13，2009State Insurance Corporation 299 Hightower BoulevardPrinceton，NJ 100258thFeb. 29，20092.1.2 Date

The date should be typed three or four line spaces below the letter-head and in the indented form of layout，so placed to the right that the last figure serves as a guide for line-endings in the body of the letter. Though other placements are now accepted，it should always be typed in full and never abbreviated. Never give the date in figures such as 12/7/2009；it could easily be confusing.

Whether commas or full stops are used in dates is accepted as a matter of taste，but the inclusion of a comma after the month with no full stop after the year is now customary. For example，th

18 July，2008（British style）

July 18，2008（American style）2.1.3 Inside Name and Address

The preferred position for the correspondent's name and address is the upper left-hand side of the sheet，three or more line spaces below the line of the date，depending on the length of the letter. However，in official（i. e. government）correspondence，it is sometimes placed at the foot，in the bottom left-hand corner. Where the appropriate head of department is known，address the letter to him by his official title. For example，

The Sales Manager

The Hercules Engineering Co.，Ltd.

Brazennose Street

Manchester M526 BD

England

When addressing a correspondent personally by name，take care to spell the name correctly.

In order to avoid ambiguity，when you write letters to other countries，always include the name of the country，even if the city mentioned is the capital of the country，because there are some unknown cities with the same name as the popular cities. Here is an example.

The Vice President

The Eagle Press Inc.

24 South Bank

Birmingham

Alabama

USA2.1.4 Salutation or Greeting

The salutation is the greeting with which every letter begins. The customary greeting in a business letter is“Dear Sir”or“Dear Sirs”（when a partnership is addressed）. But the Americans usually use“Gentlemen”instead of“Dear Sirs”. Note that you cannot use“Sirs”alone and that“Gentlemen”cannot be used in the singular. In American letters a colon is always placed after the salutation，while in British letter a comma is done such as：

Dear Mr. White：（American style）

Dear Mrs. Green，（British style）

Quite often now companies are owned and/or managed by women，and it is more and more customary to use the greeting“Dear Ms.+surname”as a courtesy title for all women is popular regardless of their marital status.“Dear Sirs/Madams”or“Ladies/Gentlemen”can be used，if the writer is not sure whether the letter will be read by a man or a woman. Usually，“Dear Sirs”is regarded as British English，Gentlemen as American English.2.1.5 Body of the letter

Body，the most important part of the letter，conveys the central message，expresses the writer's suggestions requests and wishes. It begins two spaces below the salutation. Generally，a formal business letter body is composed of three parts：the beginning，the details and the expected response. Before you begin to write，you must first of all consider the following two points.

What is your aim in writing this letter？

What is the best way to go about it？

Since the main purpose of the letter is to convey a message，the letter should be written in language that is easily understood.

For very short letters you may adopt double line spaces except for your correspondent's name and address for which a single line space should always be used.2.1.6 Complimentary Close

There are many ways to write the complimentary close. The complimentary close is merely a polite way of ending a letter，consequently leaving a good impression on the reader. Usually，the complimentary close of the letter should match the salutation. If“Dear Sir”is used as salutation，then the complimentary close should be“Yours faith-fully”.“Yours faithfully”is British usage in a letter with“Dear Sir/Sirs”as salutation.“Yours sincerely”is the most commonly used and the most popular complimentary close in America.FIGURE 4.4　Matches between Complimentary Close and the Salutation2.1.7 Signature

The signature is the signed name or mark of the person writing the letter or that of the firm he represents. The formal letter without signature does not only show no respect to the reader，but also becomes invalid. It is written in ink immediately below the complimentary close. Because a signature is the distinguishing mark of the one who uses it，the same style must always be adopted. The writer's handwritten signature begins customarily a double space below the complimentary close with the typewritten name underneath.

The signature as written and the signature as typed must correspond exactly. Never sign your letters with a rubber stamp.

Yours faithfully，

CELIA HUDSON（Signature）

Celia Hudson2.2 Supplementary Elements

Above seven parts are necessary for an official letter. In addition，business letters some-times have one or more of the following parts：2.2.1 Reference

The abbreviation for reference is Ref. usually，for the sake of convenience，business letters will have a serial reference number for file，but some of them may leave it out. When the writer wishes to mention the exact letter，he mentions the reference number of the letter instead of the date when the sender sends the letter to avoid confusion because in large companies，there are many letters each day.

Your ref：LE/x

Our ref：BL/RP2.2.2 The Attention Line

The phrase“for the attention of”or simply“attention”is used where the writer of a letter addressed to an organization wishes to direct it to a particular person or department when the letter is addressed to a company. The writer of the letter hopes this particular department or person can handle it directly. The attention line is usually between the inside address and salutation，and it is typed two line spaces above the salutation，underlined，and centered over the body of the letter.

The Secretary

The Bright Electrical Corp. Ltd.

Cornwell Drive

Aredbridge，Ece IG2 5BN

EnglandFor the Attention of Mr. Waterhouse

Dear Sir，

Attention：Market Department

Attention of Mr. Wang Tao

For the Attention of Mr. Thomason2.2.3 Subject Heading/Line

The subject heading is regarded as a part of the body of a business letter. It is used when the writer wants to magnify the importance of the subject. When an attention line and subject line appear in the same letter，the attention line appears before the salutation，the subject line appears after the salutation. Usually it is placed between the salutation and the body of a letter to call attention to what content the letter is about，there are two kinds of subject headings：main headings and paragraph headings.

● Main Heading

The heading is typed two line-spacing below the salutation，underlined，and centered over the body of the letter. It helps to ensure that the letter is passed to the right person or department without delay，for example，

Dear Mr. Smith，Your Order No. 3567

● Paragraph Heading

The heading is placed at the beginning of each paragraph to show what subject this paragraph is dealing with. Block capitals may be used，followed by a full stop to emphasize the distinction between heading and text. Main heading does not take a full stop.

Paragraph headings may be useful，but it is better to confine each letter to one subject if possible，because different subjects may need attention from different departments or different persons.

Mr. S. Basuki

Jakarta Furnishings

7 Jalan Arjuna

Jakarta

Dear Mr. Basuki，

Office furniture

Attention：Mr. Daniel Kwan

Gentlemen

Subject：Processing of Promotional Fieldtrip2.2.4 Enclosure Notation

Enclosure is typed two-line spaces after the signature of the address when something is sent along with the letter. It indicates that other pieces of paper are mailed with the letter in the same envelope. An enclosure can be anything in the envelope in addition to the message itself.The abbreviation of enclosure is“Enc.”or“Encl”. or“Encs.”（for the plural）.2.2.5 Initial Reference

If the letter is dictated by the boss and typed by the secretary，at the end of the letter the boss's name and the secretary's name should be typed in abbreviation. If the boss'name is Jessie Wells，and the secretary's name is Monica Levis，we can put it in the following ways.

JW/ml

JW：ml

JW/ML

JW：ML2.2.6 The CC and the Notation

The CC stands for“Carbon Copy”，a duplication method used much less with the appearance of photocopying. The initials continue to be used to preface names of people who will receive the copy of the letter.

There are two types of carbon copy notations. The first is indicted by“cc”followed by the names of the persons who will receive copies of the letters. This notation is typed on the original and carbon copies.

The second type of copy notation is specified on the copy only by the abbreviation“bcc”（blind carbon copy）and the recipient's name. no one other than the recipient of the“bcc”and you will know he has received a copy of the letter.

Notations for“cc”and“bcc”would look like this in the letter：

Cc Shanghai Branch Office

Bcc Mr. Jones2.2.7 “Per Pro.”Signature

“Per pro.”is the abbreviation of per procurationem，which is Latin phrase denoting agency. Strictly speaking，only a partner is entitled to sign the name of his firm. But for convenience authority to sign is often given to a responsible employee by a document known as a power of attorney，though the authority to sign may also arise from custom. In either case the attorney or agent，as the authorized signatory is called，signs“per procurationem”or“per pro.”，sometimes further abbreviated to“p. p.”，for instance，Per Pro. Hopkins，Wright Co. Ltd.Signature2.2.8 Postscript

When the writer finds something forgotten to be included in the letter body before an envelop is sealed up，the writer may state it after signature. This is used to emphasize the importance of a special point to which the writer of the letter wishes to call the reader's attention. Postscript is not always recommended in the business letter.

Postscript（PS）：The sample will be mailed to you tomorrow.2.3 The Forms of Business Letters

Business letters have three forms：the intended format，the full blocked format and the semiblocked format2.3.1 Indented Format

As the name suggests，the indented format means that the second line and the succeeding line of the inside address should be indented three or five letters. So does the beginning of each paragraph in the body of the letter. Please note that the indented letter-space should be the same in one letter. Date and complimentary close should be put in the middle of the paper.

Indented format is seldom used nowadays.

Sample LetterChina National Light Product Import and ExportCompany Beijing BranchHui An ZhouBeijing，ChinaTel. 86-01-2356，9923Our ref：Your ref：thDate 7. June 2009

Mr. K. Huang

65 Nathan Road

Kowloon

Hong KongDear Mr. HuangRe：OrderThank you for ordering 15 cases of premium paper from Imperial Stationery Ltd. Your order has been shipped and should reach you within the next five business days.Find enclosed your total bill for the above order amounting to＄%798.65 and the check for＄23.85 is your refund. Because you paid in advance，we are giving you 3 percent cash discount and we also are paying for shipping and handling.Imperial Stationary is pleased to add you to its list of customers. We look forward to yournext order.Sincerely，JENNIFER O'CONELY（Signature）Jennifer O'ConelyCustomer Service

New Words & Phrases

thank sb. for sth.　因某事感谢某人

premium paper　优质纸，高级纸

business days　工作日，营业日

amounting to　达……

paid in advance　事先付款

cash discount　现金折扣

shipping and handling　运费和手续费

list of customers　顾客名单

next order　下一次订货

Notes

1. case n. 箱

A packing case包装箱

A case of whisky（=12 bottles）一箱威士忌

2. enclose vt. 把……装入信封，附入

I enclose a check for＄50.00（with this letter）.我随信附寄了张50美元的支票。

3. refund vt. 退还；偿还

They refunded the cost of the damaged book.他们赔偿了这本被弄坏的书的费用。

n. 归还；退款

She took the faulty radio back to the shop and demanded a refund.她把有毛病的收音机退还给商店并要求退款。

A tax refund（esp. AmE尤美）一笔退回的税款

4. pay for sth. 付款，付钱给……

How soon can you pay for the case of the premium paper？你方多久能支付这箱高级纸的货款？

5. be pleased to很高兴……

We shall be pleased to enter into business relations with your firm.很高兴同你方建立业务关系。2.3.2 Full Blocked Format

This format is widely used because it's efficient and quick and it also shows the positive way of modern business operation. To save more time，all should be typed from the left to the right. If it is a blank paper，the sender address also starts from the left margin. If it is the paper with the company address in the upper center，leave it alone，and write the receiver's address from the left margin. There are two line spaces between each paragraph.

Sample letter—format A

Dude Cleverelle

SavbizCor Ltd.

28 Green St.，Suite 14

Upstate，NY 10947

October 27，2009

Ms. Margaret Edwards

Barmei Ltd

48 Stanstead Road

London SE27 1HF

For the Attention of Financial ManagerDear Ms. Edwards：I want to take this opportunity to thank you for the excellent job you did in arranging financing for our project. We appreciate the fact that you made yourself available for discussion seven days a week. We were impressed by your thorough knowledge of financing and investment banking.We have been dealing with our new financial institution for about a week now. The advantages of association with this institution are already apparent. I feel as though we have taken a quantum leap forward in progress.I would not hesitate to retain your services again and to recommend your firm to any company seeking the best representation.Sincerely yours，DUDE CLEVERELLE（Signature）Dude CleverellePresident

New Words & Phrases

take this opportunity to 借此机会对……

arranging financing 融资

available for 对此（可用的，合适的）……

be impressed by 给……留下深刻印象

thorough knowledge 丰富的知识

financing and investment banking 金融和投资银行

association with 与……建立起的联系

as though 好像，仿佛

take a quantum leap 一大步

best representation 最佳代理

Notes

1. appreciate vt.

1）欣赏；鉴赏；赏识

His abilities were not appreciated in his job.他的工作很出色，但得不到赏识。

2）完全了解，明白

I don't think you appreciate the difficulties this will cause.我认为你不完全了解这件事会造成怎样的困难。

3）感激，感谢

Your prompt reply will be appreciated.如能尽快回复，将十分感激。

2. deal with

1）对付，应付，处理

All complaints will be dealt with by the manager.所有的投诉都将由经理来处理。

2）涉及，论及，讨论

The letter deals with the troubles of Ireland branch.这封信讨论的是爱尔兰分部的各种纠纷。

3）跟……做生意，与……做交易

I've dealt with this company for 20 years.我和这家公司做生意已有20年。

3.（not）hesitate to do不愿做……事，对……有顾虑

The government will not hesitate to take the every possible measures against Financial Crises.政府将毫不犹豫地采取一切可能的措施应对金融危机。

4. recommend vt.

1）推荐，介绍

Can you recommend a good company to me？你能推荐一家好公司给我吗？

2）劝告，建议

I recommend caution in dealing with this matter.我建议慎重处理此事。

3）[to]使（某人，某物）有吸引力……

This hotel has nothing to recommend it to travelers except cheapness.这家旅馆除了便宜之外，对游客来说就没什么可取之处了。

Sample letter—format B

Another kind of letter style is also called the full-blocked format. In this style，the sender's address is written in the right upper corner or in the center of the paper. Other parts are the same as the above.XYZ COMMCO INC. [1]—Heading 111 Any Street—San Francisco，CA 94118—（415）221-1212

May 22，2007 [2]—Date line

Mr. John Smith [3]—Inside address

XYZ Company

1124 Anything Avenue

San Francisco，CA 94115

Attention：Mr. SmithDear Mr. Smith：[4]—Salutation

We acknowledge the receipt of your letter and its enclosure thFebruary 10 about the supply of washing machine. [5]—Body

We regret that it is difficult for us to consider the purchase as our company does not need the item for the time being. We have recorded your quotation for our further use. [5]

Thank you for your kind attention to this reply. [5]

Sincerely yours，[6]—Complimentary closing

TERRY OR TERRY D. SENDER（signed）[7]—Signature

Terry D. Sender [8]—Typed name

Project Manager [9]—Title

TDS：YS [10]—Additional information

CC：Mr. John，Mr. Green

New Words & Phrases

acknowledge the receipt of　收到来信

the supply of　……的供货

washing machine　洗衣机

for the time being　眼下，暂时

quotation　报价

further use　日后使用

kind attention to this reply　关注此回复2.3.3 Modified Block Format

Modified block format is different from the full block one. In some books，this style is called semi-block style. There are two kinds of modified block formats：one is that the date，complementary closing and the writer's name are put on the right part of the letter. All the other parts are placed flush with left margin without indented spaces.

Sample Letter—format AChina National Light Industrial Products Import & Export Corporation82 Tung An Men StreetBeijing，ChinaJanuary 30，2001

Our Ref. No …

Your Ref. No …

The Pakistan Trading Company

15 Broad Street

Karachi，PakistanDear Sirs，Re：Chinese Light Industrial ProductsWe thank you for your letter of January 10 and shall be glad to enter into business relation with your firm.As you know，it is our policy to trade with the people of all countries on the basis of equality and mutual benefit.Your early reply will be highly appreciated.Yours faithfully，MARLONE（Signature）MarloneManager Director

New Words & Phrases

enter into　签订（合同），达成（协议）

as you know　正如你所知

trade with sb.　同某人做生意

on the basis of　以……为基础

mutual benefit　互利

The other modified style is that the date，complementary closing and the writer's name are put on the right part of the letter with 4—5 inside indented space at the beginning of each paragraph. The reference should also be put on the right side.

Sample Letter—format BChina National Cereals Oils and Foodstuffs Import and Export Company Beijing BranchLi Gan FuBeijing，ChinaTel.thDate 7. June 2010Our ref：Your ref：

Mr. K. Huang 65 Nathan Road Kowloon

Hong KongDear Mr. HuangRe：Canned PineappleWe have got your letter of August 15，2010 along with your Proforma Invoice No. PI-503 for the subject food.We hereby place an order with you for 1,000 cases，＄5.00 per case FOB Guangzhou. We have already applied for import license and letter of credit for this order and will inform you of the reference numbers of both as soon as our applications have been approved by the government agencies concerned.Since we need the goods quite urgently，you are requested to effect shipment one month after receipt of our L/C.Yours sincerely，MERRY GREEN（Signature）Merry Green

New Words & Phrases

along with　随同，和……一起

Proforma Invoice　形式发票

place an order with sb. or sth.　同某人就某物下订单

apply for　申请

import license　进口许可证

letter of credit　信用证

as soon as　一……就……

agencies concerned　相关部门

effect shipment　装船

Notes

1. inform vt. [of，about]通知；告知

I wasn't informed of the decision until too late.等到我得知这一决定时，已经太迟了。

2. approve vt.

1）[of]赞成，同意，支持

You made a good decision，and I thoroughly approve of it.你做了个很好的决定，我不折不扣地表示赞同。

2）批准，通过，认可

The equipment must be bought from a supplier approved by the company.设备必须从公司认可的供应商那里购买。

3. be requested to要求，请求

All members of Marketing Department are requested to attend the annual meeting.请营销部的所有人员务必参加年会。

request n.要求，请求

Full details will be sent on request.有详细材料备索。

Chapter Review1. What are the components of business letter？2. Before you begin to write a business letter，what should you prepare？3. What will be the result if a letter is ambiguous？How can this be avoided？4. If conciseness conflicts with courtesy，what would you do？5. When you revise the letter，what questions should you ask yourself？

Critical Thinking1. With the development of computer technology，do you think learning letter writing is still useful？Why or why not？2. Letter writing is a face-to-face conversation. Do you agree with this？Why or why not？You can never quit. Winners never quit，and quitters never win.——Ted TurnerProcrastination is opportunity's assassin.——Victor K. Kiam

Exercises

I. Try to address an envelop according to the names and addresses given below.st

Sender：Kenneth Harvey Co.，321 Cross Street，New York，N. Y.，USA

Receiver：Cathy More Co.，Dernhall Drive，Aredbridge，London EC 1，England

II. Plan the layout according to the following particulars.

Sender：China National Import & Export Corporation Chengdu Branch，Chengdu，China

Receiver：Alfred & Co. Sherman Oak，California 23914，USAst

Date：21 of June，2006

Our Ref. No. 123/10848

Remarks：This letter is to be signed by a staff member on behalf of the firm.

III. Improve the following questions according to the 7Cs Principles.1. Mr. Smith wrote to Mr. Wang that he had received his order.2. We have duly received your order，for which please accept out thanks.3. We have ordered the goods，and they will be received by us in two weeks.4. We hope to receive your catalogue by the return mail. Thank you in advance.5. We need to know the date of delivery. Tell us by mail.

IV. The sentence pattern of the following paragraph is monotonous. Please rewrite it to avoid boring reading.

Note the attached charts，and please submit to me a written report explaining irregularities. Obviously，corrective actions were ineffective，and I cannot accept this situation. You will need to give me a written report of all past financial procedures，and also you will need to delineate new ones to establish and maintain effective controls. I will review your corrective proposals personally，and I would like for you to be conversant with the appropriate publications. These proposals should be in my office no later than October 21，and our conference will follow within the next few days.

V. Please translate the following sentences into Chinese.1. We hope to receive your price list as soon as possible.2. We have received your remittance of＄4,700.3. We will provide all the required documents.4. Thank you for your order No. 247 dated July 5.5. We are reluctant to commit to that date because our plant closes for Spring Festival on February 3.6. We acknowledge the receipt of your letter and its enclosure February 10 supply thof washing machine. about the7. We are obliged to thank you for your kind attention to this matter.8. I am writing this letter to express my gratitude to your time and hospitality given to me during my recent visit to your beautiful country.9. For your reference，we are enclosing a copy of our completed catalogue.10. Due to the increase in costs of raw material，we must unfortunately raise the cost of our merchandise to you.

VI. Translate the following sentences into English.1. 写信人要重新编排搜集到的信息，决定取舍。2. 确定是否有些重要的东西没有包括到信中去。3. 学生对信件格式和写作技巧要熟悉。4. 写信人要用最少的词语告诉收信人他要告诉的事情。5. 商业信函中的词语不能模棱两可。6. 很高兴随信寄去一份有关我方计算机的目录。7. 我方对你们的捷安特牌男式、女式和儿童自行车感兴趣。8. 若贵方产品的质量很好，价格又吸引人，那么我们会长期以较大的数量订货。9. 请报CIF鹿特丹价，并注明最早船期。10. 我们急需200公吨苹果。

VII. Case Study

Arrange the following in modified indented form as they should be set out in a letter，and address an envelope for the above letter.

Sender's name：China National Light Industrial Products Import & Export Co. Chengdu Branch

Sender's address：246 Bingjiang Road，Chengdu，China

Sender's website：http://www.chindustry.com.cn

Date：March 23，2009

Receiver's name：H. G. Wilkinson Company. Ltd.

Receiver's address：2656 Lombart St. Lagor，Nigeria

Subject matter：Sewing Machines

Messages

We thank you for your letter of March 16 inquiring for the captioned goods.

The enclosed booklet contains details of all our sewing machines and will enable you to make a suitable selection.

We look forward to receiving your specific enquiry with keen interest.Chapter 5 Establishing Business Relations【Learning Objectives】1. Learn how to establish business relations with the overseas companies by writing.2. Understand the channels for getting business information.3. Learn how to enquire into the financial standing of a new business partner.4. Write an expected replying for business relations establishment.1. General Introduction

As is known to all，no customers，no business. The development and expansion of a business depends on customers. The establishment of business relations is the first step in foreign trade and in international exchange because transactions can only be made after the business connections have been set up.

A firm should try by all means to seek for new connections and establish business relations with them. Writing letters to establish relations with potential customers is a common practice in business communications. A letter to establish business relations is a piece of writing to find and negotiate with a new business partner. It is of vital importance for a newly established firm as well as for an old one that wishes to expand its market and enlarge its business scope and turnover.2. Channels for Information of Potential Partners

There are several channels through which general information about a firm can be obtained：● Self-introduction or introduction from other business firms or friends● Banks● Chambers of commerce both at home or abroad● Commercial Counselor忆s office in foreign countries● Exhibitions and trade affairs● Commercial institutions stationed abroad● Advertisement in the media● Trade directory● market investigations● mutual visits by trade groups and delegations3. The Requirements for Writing the First Inquiry

When you write your first letter，you should inform your reader of the following general points：● the sources of information：how you obtained his or her name and address；● your intention：express your desire to do business and explain what you hope to buy or to sell；● a brief introduction of your firm：your business scope，your branches，and also your liaison offices，if any；references as to your firm's financial standing and credit rating，etc.● In closing the letter，you should express your expectation of cooperation and an early reply.4. Status Inquiry

If you want to open up a new market，the careful practice for you is to make status inquiry of the other party. That is，through various ways to find out whom you will deal with and know his credit including financial position，reputation，business methods and so on. You may apply to a business friend，banks，chambers of commerce，or inquiry agencies. The information obtained from a bank or from a chamber of commerce is generally most reliable. It's often best for you to get the necessary information from a bank through your own bank.

To investigate the other party's credit，you should get to know three Cs：capital，capacity and character. The usual credit investigations includes：● capital：financial condition● capacity：business activity● character：honesty integrity

Status inquiries are generally headed“Confidential”or“Private and Confidential”. When the information is received，no matter whether it is favorable or unfavorable，a suitable letter of acknowledgement and thanks must be sent.5. Applying the 3-x-3 Writing Process to Letters of Establishing Business Relations5.1 Analyzing the product and purpose（1）Before writing a letter for the establishment of business relations，you should analyze the situation and identify the purpose of your message.（2）If you are asking for establishing business relations，the primary purpose is to inform the reader of your desire or interest in having a connection to open up business. Evaluate the competition so that you can emphasize in your letter the potential benefits you may bring to the reader.（3）If you are making status inquiry，the primary purpose is to inform the reader of your intention to get information concerning the other firm's credit and to persuade the reader to provide the information accordingly.5.2 Adapting to audience5.2.1 Selecting your reader

Before you write your letter，it is advisable for you to anticipate：Who is your reader？What kind of presentation should you use？5.2.2 Making certain assumptions about the selected group

Readers could be importers or exporters if you are writing to ask for establishing business relation，and readers could be banks or chambers of commerce if you are writing to make status inquiry. Be well prepared and make sure you get as much information as you can about the potential partners：their business scope，their branches，their financial standing and credit rating，etc. You can obtain the information from sources such as periodicals，advertisements in newspapers，market investigations，self-introduction by merchants themselves，etc.5.2.3 Adapting the letter to the specific audience

In the readers'perspective，they might wonder：How do you know us？Why are you writing to us？Who are you？So special attention should be paid to explaining these points clearly in your letter. As an importer，you may also make request for samples，price list，catalogues，credit reference，etc. On the other hand，as an exporter，in addition to expressing your will-ingness to provide the above-mentioned materials as might be asked by the importer，you should state simply，clearly and concisely what you can sell. No matter what their replies might be，to leave a good impression upon the reader is very important because it is well-known that first impression counts heavily. Thus your message should be formal and be able to promote goodwill. When making a status inquiry，you must remember that you are asking for a favorand therefore should write in polite and appreciative terms.5.3 Crafting a Winning Letter of Establishing Business Relations5.3.1 Gaining attention

The opening paragraph should state clearly the source of information and express your desire to do business or，in the case of making status inquiry，what causes you to make the inquiry and what information you would like to obtain.5.3.2 Building interest

To convince the reader of the potential benefits brought about by establishing business relations with you，you should pay attention to the following points：（1）Give a brief introduction of your firm.（2）Emphasize the advantages of your firm or product.（3）Take the“You”view and customize your presentation according to the reader's situation. E. g. You will be interested to know that our goods have been accepted by domestic and overseas for over twenty years，enjoying a good reputation.（4）Promise the reader a competitive price and quality. E. g. We are in a position to supply you with first-class goods at competitive prices.5.3.3 Reducing resistance（1）Providing testimonial from a bank or from a chamber of commerce when writing for establishment of business relations because people believe in their authorities and recommendations. In addition，you can mention names of satisfied business partners.（2）Express your appreciation and your assurance of treating the information as strictly confidential when writing to investigate the other party's credit.5.3.4 Motivating action

Close with your expectation of cooperation and an early reply. Urge the reader to read enclosed material（if there is any）that will motivate them to take further action.5.3.5 Evaluating the letter

Revise the message for clarity，conciseness，tone，and readability. Letters for establishing business relations must be friendly and helpful，while letters for making status inquiry must be polite and thankful. You should also proofread carefully to make sure that your letter uses sensitive，courteous language and is neatly typed and error-free. Finally，you'll evaluate the message to see whether it accomplishes your goal of asking to establish business relations or making status inquiry.6. Module letterDear Sirs：You were recommended to our company by ___________________，which told us that ___________________. We are writing to enquire whether you would be willing to establish business relations with us.Our company ___________________. We have been in business since ___________________，and therefore have wide experience in all the lines we handle.Our bankers are ___________________. They can provide you information about our business and finances.Please inform us of your trade terms and forward samples and product brochures. We look forward to a productive trade.Sincerely，John Smith

New Words & Phrases

have been in business since … 自……开始经商，有……经商历史

have wide experience in … 在……有丰富的经验

bankers n. 开户银行

finances n. pl. credit position资信状况

inform … of … 告知（某人）……

trade terms 贸易条款、条件（常用复数），主要包括付款方式（mode of payment）、装运日期（date of delivery）等。

sample n. a portion，piece，or segment that is representative of a whole样品

brochure n. a small booklet or pamphlet，often containing promotional material or product information小册子

look forward to 期待，盼望（to是介词，后接名词或动名词）

Notes

1. recommend：vt.

1）推荐，介绍

J. Smith & Co. have recommended your firm as being interested in establishing business relations with us. J.史密斯公司说贵公司愿同我公司建立业务关系。

2）劝告，建议

As the market is declining，we recommend your immediate acceptance of our counter-offer. 由于行市正在下跌，建议立即接受我方还盘。

3）使受欢迎

There is no margin left for bargaining in our quotation，so your counter-offer is not recommended. 我方报价没有讨价还价的余地，因此贵方还盘不受欢迎。

2. enquire（also inquire）：v. 询问，询盘

We write to enquire about the prices. 我们来函询问价格问题。

enquiry（also inquiry）：n. 查询，询价，询盘

make（or：send，give，fax）sb. an enquiry for sth. 向某人询购某种商品，向某人询问某种商品价格

Thank you for your enquiry of July 1 for our “Cool” Brand air conditioner. 感谢你方七月一日有关我“凉爽”牌空调的询盘。

3. establish business relations 建立业务关系

similar expressions are：to enter into business relations；to open up business relations with sb.；to establish business contacts/connections with sb.；to commence business with sb.；etc.

4. export：v./n. 出口（货）

We export a large quantity of bicycles now. 我们现在出口大量的自行车。

Wheat is one of the chief exports of Canada. 小麦是加拿大主要出口产品之一。

反义词：import：v./n. 进口（货）

5. line n.

1）行业，业务

I'm in the textile line.

2）（货品）种类，系列

We are going to present the full line of shoe samples at the Paris Shoe Show opening on February 1. 我方将在2月1日开幕的巴黎靴鞋展览会上展出各类靴鞋样品。

3）货品

We are sending you a representative selection of our most popular lines. 我方现选出极受欢迎的有代表性的货品一批发往贵方。

6. handle v.

1）经营

We have decided to appoint an agent to handle our export trade with your country. 我方已决定委派一家代理商经营我方对贵国的出口贸易。

2）处理

We hope you will handle this matter with the utmost care. 希望贵方谨慎处理此事。

3）搬运，装卸

Handle With Care.（外包装上的装运指示用语）小心轻放（小心装卸）

7. forward v.

1）运送，寄送

The goods will be forwarded to you within the 3rd quarter of the year. 货物将于第三季度内发运给贵方。

2）转交

Your letter of September 5 addressed to our Head Office has been forwarded（or transmitted，referred，passed on，handed over）to us for attention and reply. 你方9月5日致我总公司的函已转给我们办复。7. Specimen Letters7.1 A Letter from an ExporterDear Sirs，On the recommendation of your Chamber of Commerce，we have learned with pleasure the name and address of your firm. We wish to inform you that we specialize in the export of Chinese arts and crafts and shall be glad to enter into business relations with you on the basis of equality and mutual benefit.To give you a general idea of our products，we are enclosing a copy of the latest catalogue for your reference. Please let us know if there are any items which are of interest to you and we will send you quotations and samples.We look forward to your early reply.Yours sincerely，Larry Johnson

New Words & Phrases

on the recommendation of 由……推荐（介绍）

specialize in to mainly deal in 专营

chambers of commerce 商会

arts and crafts 工艺品

on the basis of equality and mutual benefit 在平等互利的基础上

give sb. a general idea of 让某人大致了解

enclose v. to insert into the same envelope or package 随信附寄

catalogue n. a list of articles for exhibition or sale，usually including descriptive information or illustrations 目录

item n. an individual article or unit usually listed in a catalogue or a price list.商品

be of interest to sb.令某方感兴趣的

quotation n. a price or bid. It is equivalent to quotes（colloquial）报价（等同于quotes）

Notes

1. enclose v. to insert into the same envelope or package 随信附寄

We enclose（are enclosing）a price list for our exportable items. 随函寄上我方可供出口商品价格表。

enclosure n. 附件

2. catalogue n. a list of articles for exhibition or sale，usually including descriptive information or illustrations 目录

3. reference n.

1）an act of referring 参考

A price list will be sent to you for your reference. 将寄上一份价目表供你方参考。

Similar expressions include：

For your information；for your study；for your consideration

2）a person who is asked to provide the information about the character or ability of the third person. 资信证明人

Their reference is Chase Manhattan Bank. 他们的资信证明人是大通曼哈顿银行。

4. item：n. an individual article or unit usually listed in a catalogue or a price list. 商品

Please let us know the main items you import now. 请告知你方目前进口的主要商品。

5. quotation：n. a price or bid. It is equivalent to quotes（colloquial）报价（等同于quotes）

make/send/give/cable/submit a quotation for sth.报价……

Your quotations for chemical products are too high to be acceptable. 你方化工产品的报价太高让人实难接受。

quote：v.

We are glad to quote you our lowest price for Seagull Camera of high quality. 欣报我方海鸥牌高档相机最低价。7.2 A Letter from an ImporterDear Sirs，The Bank of America has recommended your company as being interested in establishing business relations with a Chinese company for the purpose of exporting cotton shirts.We wish to introduce ourselves to you as a state-operated corporation dealing exclusively in light industrial goods. We send this letter to you in order to ascertain whether cooperation to the advantage of both companies could be established.We invite you to send us details and prices of such goods as you would be able to sell. We shall be glad to study the sales possibilities in our market.The Bank of China will provide you with information about our business and finances.Your early reply will be greatly appreciated.Yours truly，JOHN SMITH（Signature）John Smith

New Words & Phrases

for the purpose of 为了……目的

state-operated/owned corporation 国营（有）公司

dealing exclusively in 专营

ascertain vt. to discover with certainty 确定，探知，查明，弄清

to the advantage of 对……有利

Notes

1. deal in 经营（后接商品名称）

They deal in Chinese textiles.

We are the largest company in China，dealing in washing machines in large quantities.

2. appreciate vt. to be thankful or show gratitude for 感激

We shall appreciate your favorable reply/hearing from you again. 我们恭候佳音。

It will be much appreciated if you send us sufficient information about your financial standing. 若充分提供贵方资信情况，将不胜感激。

3. to the advantage 至有利的程度（常作后置定语或状语）

We are setting new standards to the advantage of our customers. 我们正在制定有利于客户的新标准。

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