迷途知返(txt+pdf+epub+mobi电子书下载)

作者：罗兹·丹尼·福克斯

出版社：外语教学与研究出版社

格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT

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Chapter One

It was Saturday night, and Cooper Drummond, five-time national bronc-riding champion, sat in a Hondo, Texas, bar, nursing his second beer. The barmaid flirted with him, as did rodeo fans who were trying to get his attention. They eventually gave up and turned to someone else when Coop didn't flirt back. He had a lot on his mind. It had begun to bother him that he had very little to show for five years of earning good money on the circuit. He owned a top-of-the-line Dodge Ram and a color-coordinated two-horse trailer. He had a suitcase full of flashy buckles, more than one man would ever wear. He'd lost count of his broken bones. Thank heaven they'd all healed. With luck he wouldn't have any more, now that—six months ago—he'd quit rodeo. He'd been working for Jud Rayburn on the Rocking R Ranch because he didn't want to go home to the Tripe D, which his older brother ran with an iron fist—just like he tried to run Coop's life. Tonight ought to be a typical Saturday night off from chasing rogue steers through dusty, cactus-littered arroyos. As a rule Coop would hit town with a group of other cowboys, and they all partied hard and two-stepped the night away with hangers-on from the rodeo days. But tonight, for some reason, his interest in dancing had disappeared. Some of his pals were playing pool in an adjacent room, but he wasn't moved to take part in that either.

On the jukebox, Reba belted out a song called "The Bridge You Burn." Her words, wrapped in upbeat music, bounced off the rafters and left Coop thinking about how many bridges he'd burned. A lot of them, for sure.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder, interrupting Coop's self-analysis. He turned on the bar stool, expecting to see one of the guys from the Rocking R. He didn't expect to see his older brother, Sullivan. Nor was Coop in any mood to have Sully pull out the adjacent stool and plant his butt there. The brothers had been at odds over almost everything since their dad died and Sully had nominated himself to fill his shoes.

Coop lifted his long-neck bottle and took a deep draw. "What brings you slumming tonight, big brother?"

"You. Why in hell are you working for the Rocking R instead of at home on the Triple D where you belong?"

"It hasn't been the Triple D since Dad died," Coop shot back. "You've made it the Single D."

"You want the brand changed to the Double D? It hasn't been double anything since you took off to prove something—hell if I know what. You rode every ornery bronc in the southwest when you could've raised the most profitable herd of quarter horses in Texas. You thought being a rodeo bum was better than doing everyday ranch chores, yet you're working for Jud like a common drifter."

"I sold my stock except for two geldings, and two geldings don't make for good breeding, now do they? And Jud Rayburn treats me like a man—like I have a brain. He doesn't play lord and master like you do. But I'm leaving Jud's place and heading south. I read about a rancher advertising for a horse trainer down there."

"Really? Well, that makes this easier." Coop's brother pulled a sheaf of papers from the inside pocket of his corduroy jacket. "I've run the ranch alone for five years. I want you to sign Dad's third of the ranch over to my son, Gray." He unfolded the legal document and produced a gold pen that he held out to Cooper.

"Do you think this will force me to come back? Forget it! Gray's only six years old!" Coop set down his beer with a thwack.

"You were ten and I was fifteen when Mom died and Dad deeded us each a third of Drummond Ranch and renamed it the Triple D."

"Then we got equal parts of Dad's share when he died. So what?"

"After you graduated from college and got a harebrained notion to run off to the rodeo, I've pulled your share of the workload, along with Dad's and mine."

"That's why I went off to rodeo, Sully. You put yourself in Dad's boots. I didn't like you ordering me around then, and I don't need it now." Coop grabbed the papers, ripped them in half and let the pieces drift to floor. Then, in a fit of long-brewing frustration, he hauled back and socked his brother in the jaw. Jamming on his hat, Coop stalked out, stiff-arming his way through the swinging door. He leaped into his pickup and roared out of the parking space without glancing back.

SULLY EXITED THE BAR, wiggling his jaw. His flinty gaze swept the area before his angry eyes fell on his pretty, red-haired wife, who waited for him near their car. She touched his face lightly and murmured, "Ouch. I can see that didn't go well. Shall we hike over to the diner and get some ice for your jaw, Sullivan?"

"I'm through with him, Blythe. He tore up the contract. I know, I know, you warned me against coming here. But I'm done, I tell you. Coop can't be a silent partner in the Triple D forever. I'm going to see our lawyer about voiding Coop's entire inheritance."

"Don't, Sully." Blythe gripped his arm. "Coop is family, and we have too little family left between us," she said, her eyes filled with sorrow. "Give it more time, then try again. Coop's young. He took your dad's death really hard. You know he thought Matt hung the stars and the moon." She sounded earnest. "Business at my clinic has picked up. You said stock sales were up, too. We're okay. Please, Sully. He's your only sibling, and Gray's only uncle. Please give Coop time to come around."

Sullivan, who'd loved Blythe since the day he met her in college, gave his jaw a last test before he sighed and kissed her. "Coop's not all that young. He's twenty-seven. Past time he grew up. What he needs is a good woman," Sully grumbled. "Yeah, he took Dad's death hard, but it's the way Willow Courtland dumped him that sent him off in a huff. She could've stopped him."

Blythe Drummond shook her head. "I don't suppose we'll ever know what really caused their breakup. Coop might have gotten over it if she hadn't married Tate Walker. That was like pouring salt in an open wound."

Sully yanked open the passenger car door and waited for Blythe to get in. "Yeah, but I say good riddance to Tate and to her. I wish Bart Walker would sell his ranch and leave. I can't prove he cut out some of my newborn calves and branded them with the Bar W, but I know there was bad blood between Dad and him over calf-rustling. All the Walkers are shady, to say the least."

Blythe swung her legs into the car. "Sully, you work too hard. And you worry too much about the Triple D, and about Cooper." She raised one hand. "No, no tirade. I don't care how much you gripe, I know you want Coop to come home. Why not hire someone to help you part-time for a few months? Coop's left the circuit for good. Give him until the holidays to work this out. Have you ever met a cowboy who doesn't get homesick at Christmas? If Coop doesn't wander home by then, we'll hunt him up and extend one last olive branch. Okay?" She smoothed a hand down Sully's rigid arm.

He blew out a breath. "If Coop comes home, we'll see if I feel inclined to give him a pass for the way he hit me. He had no call. And if I extend any olive branch, he'll have to show up at the Triple D to collect it."

STEAMED THAT SULLY had shown up at the bar unexpectedly, adding to his already disgruntled mood, Coop weighed his options on the drive back to the Rocking R. He had some money left from what he'd earned working for Jud. And some savings from when he sold the herd he'd built up before attending Texas A&M.

It was while he was in college that he'd developed a hankering to rodeo. But if his dad hadn't keeled over from a heart attack, and if Sully, who was five years older, hadn't taken it upon himself to run everything on the ranch, including him, things might have panned out differently. Maybe he wouldn't have fought with Willow. But then again... Ah, hell! Coop jammed in a CD and cranked up the sound. He hadn't thought about Willow in weeks. It didn't help now that Lady Antebellum filled the cab with "Need You Now."

He popped the disk out midsong and shoved in another that was better suited to his current mood. George Strait singing "All My Exes Live In Texas."

Coop didn't have any idea if Willow still lived in Texas. All ties were cut when she'd married Tate-the-jerk-Walker. His friends—and enemies—knew better than to mention either of their names to Coop. But it still hurt that she'd married that blowhard over him. They'd both vied for her attention from the day Willow's folks moved to Hondo when she was in the sixth grade. She knew how tough his dad's death had been on him. And she knew he hated the way Sully took charge of the ranch and ordered him around. Still, she'd chose that bad time to give him an ultimatum. Rodeo or her.

Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, Coop felt the old gnawing emptiness well up again. Yes, her dad had been left wheelchair-bound from bull-riding. But she wouldn't listen when Coop explained that bull-riding was far more dangerous than busting broncs, something he'd done for easily half his life.

The song ended and George started crooning a mellower tune.

All of that was ancient history. Sully had already settled down, happily marrying Blythe Thompson, who'd become a veterinarian. Now they had a son. Coop hated to think that part of his attitude toward Sully was jealousy. But he would've married Willow, and they would've had a kid or two by now. Crap, he never should've come back to Hondo. It would be best if he packed up and left tonight, he decided. Like he told Sully, he had other options.

Coop had made up his mind by the time he reached the Rocking R. He went looking for Jud Rayburn. "Your roundup's winding down, Jud. I've decided to mosey down south. According to an ad in the newest Horse Trader, there's a rancher down near Laredo who is looking for a horse trainer. Everyone knows I'd rather work with horses than with cattle."

"I hate to lose you, Coop. Rest assured I'll give you a great reference. But surely you aren't leaving Hondo for good? I know Sully hopes you'll return to the Triple D."

Coop shook his head. "I doubt Sully still feels that way, Jud. He and I just had a run-in at Homer's bar." Coop flexed his right hand. "Sully's got a rock-hard jaw and I guess you could say I have an equally hard head. This wasn't our first argument."

"That's too bad, son. Matt would've wanted you boys to share the running of a ranch he loved. When your mom died, and Matt had to bury her, you and Sully were all that kept him sane. Kept him working and building up the ranch so that one day you boys would raise your families on the Triple D."

Swallowing a hard lump that came into his throat, Coop said, "Yeah, well, that's working out for Sullivan and Blythe. Me, I'm not ready to let one woman tie me down."

Jud Rayburn cocked a shaggy eyebrow as he peeled off several twenties from a money clip and handed the bills to Coop. "There's a lot to be said for crawling into bed with the same woman every night, son. A woman who knows your weaknesses, but who only sees your strengths. When you land in Laredo, phone me with your address so if I haven't paid you enough, I can send you a check after the Rocking R accountant tallies your time sheets."

"This more than makes us square, Jud. Anyway, I don't want to make it easy for Sully to run me to ground." Coop shook hands with the rancher who'd been his dad's best friend. Crossing to the corral, he cut his two cow ponies out of the remuda, loaded them into his trailer and left.

Coop drove until midnight, then booked into a motel outside Laredo. He didn't sleep well. He was plagued all night by dreams of losing his mom when he was ten, then repeating the loss with his dad when he was in college. Coop had idolized Matthew Drummond. Tossing and turning, he punched his pillow into a ball. He wasn't ready or willing to admit how much like their father Sully had become. A quiet solid man's man. A good husband and dad, by all accounts. A hard worker. A pillar of the community.

Throwing back the covers, Coop hit the shower. He'd squandered too much of his rodeo earnings on a truck, and on beer and women. Coop let the water sluice over his body until it ran cold. He was sure his dad wouldn't be any happier with him at the moment than Sully was. Matt Drummond had been a peacemaker. Not liking the direction of his thoughts, Coop slapped off the faucets, dried quickly and dressed.

The late-June sky was streaked purple, red and orange when he threw his duffel bag into the pickup's cab and made his way out of Laredo to the McHenry spread. Summer heat would soon shimmer off the asphalt highway.

Bob McHenry was a big, bald, tobacco-chewing guy, who spat twice before telling Cooper he was darned sorry, but he'd already hired a horse trainer.

Coop thanked him and returned to his pickup after asking if he could water his horses at Bob's nearby trough. The whole spread was a nice, well-kept ranch, staked out by white tri-rail fences. Coop was disappointed he'd shown up too late. He would've liked working here, he thought.

"Hey, champ." A gnarled cowboy with a booming voice called out as Cooper watered his horses. He glanced around and spotted a bowlegged man pulling off his gloves after he climbed over the fence.

"Bob McHenry gave me permission," Coop said, thinking the cowboy was worried that he was up to no good.

Instead, the guy stuck out a hand. "Rafer James. You rode against my brother Lowell twice at the Mesquite rodeo. Beat him by seconds both times."

"Sure, I know Lowell. How is he? I quit the circuit myself after last season, but I don't recall seeing Lowell at the finals."

"He met a gal from Montana, got married and then drew a bad hoss in an off-circuit rodeo. Crushed his hip against the chute. It never healed right. His wife wanted him to give up rodeoing, anyway. Her dad retired, so they took over running his feed store up near Bozeman."

Coop pursed his lips as Rafer asked him what he was doing in Laredo. "I saw the ad Bob placed for a horse trainer. He said he already hired someone, so I'll get on up the road and see if anyone needs a hand for summer haying, or maybe moving cows to a summer range."

The other man stuffed a stick of chewing gum in his mouth. "Things are tight in this part of the country, what with the bad economy and all. I've heard of a widow with a little kid, a daughter, who lives outside Carrizo Springs. She can't afford to pay scale, so she doesn't keep a hand for long. Seems she's barely hanging on since her husband died in a drunken brawl that ended in gunplay. Something else. The guys say she's a looker." The man nudged Coop's arm. "Up to now she's sent away any cowboy with ideas of getting into her bed. But, Champ, with your reputation on the circuit attracting buckle bunnies, I'll bet you can score. Unless the low wage drives you off."

Not sure he liked that picture of himself, Coop gathered his horses. "Isn't helping women in distress the unwritten code of the west?" he snapped.

"Whoa, there. I guess you think all those wins puts you up on a pedestal. I meant no offense to the widow. I'm only passing along rumors. Take the tip or leave it, I gotta get back to seeding a field."

The cowboy hobbled off. Deep down his jab reminded Coop too much of Sully's accusations, which made it rankle all the more. Perhaps guys like Rafer thought it was cool to have rodeo groupies always hanging around. It wasn't all that great. Coop liked women, and had no doubt taken advantage of some who were available on the circuit. But the past couple of years that lifestyle had gotten old.

Which was one reason Coop didn't immediately strike out for Carrizo Springs. Meandering in that direction, because it was how the single-lane highway ran, he stopped at every ranch he passed to see if anyone was hiring.

At two of those places the owners also mentioned the widow. Coop wasn't sure he wanted to get tangled up with a needy woman. He liked women who were successful in their own right.

One other thing about the network of drifter cowboys, news traveled quickly and efficiently. At a ranch near Artesia Wells, a ranch hand who'd recently been looking for work along the I-35 Corridor told Coop the Triple D up near Hondo wanted to hire a part-time ranch manager. Just from now until Christmas.

Coop felt guilty. Not enough to backtrack and go home, but enough to take a more direct route to Carrizo Springs. The widow remained his ace in the hole, so to speak.

Then, luckily, he was able to hire on temporarily at a ranch outside Asherton. For three days he helped with branding, filling in for a cowboy who'd sprained his rope-throwing wrist. Branding was a hot, dirty, smelly business, but it earned Cooper some ready cash and a chance to shoot the breeze each evening with likeminded men, although most of this crew were Hispanic and only a few spoke English. The plus was that none of them seemed to have heard of Coop's rodeo achievements. Or if they had, they didn't put it together with the scruffy drifter who'd landed in their midst. And they sure didn't connect him to the well-known Triple D Ranch.

The first night after Coop had taken his turn in the shower and shaved, the youngest crew member joked that Coop looked too pretty to throw steers out of a chute and hold them down for branding. Coop just laughed. An older man, Alonzo, took out a harmonica as they sat watching the sun set, so Coop went to his pickup and got a guitar he used to play on the circuit to ease his nerves. For two evenings all the guys enjoyed playing universally popular tunes often used to quiet restless herds being driven to market. At the close of day three, Coop's tenure on this ranch ended. He felt bad saying adios to his new friends. Also, he didn't like this way of grabbing a few days of work here and there. He'd prefer a steady job.

Several miles out of Carrizo Springs he pulled into a lay-by and sat there for the longest time, reconsidering whether or not to go home—supposing home was still the Triple D. He needed to decide if he wanted it to be.

It was nine miles to Carrizo Springs according to his GPS. He could drive straight through the town, and take highway 83 to Uvalde. Then at the junction it would be a straight shot to Hondo and back to the Triple D. Jud Rayburn had told him that the house where he'd grown up sat empty. Sully and Blythe had built a new home on the vast acreage, nearer to Blythe's clinic.

Continuing to waffle about whether he was ready to let Sully become his boss, Coop left the lay-by. He stopped in Carrizo Springs for fuel, and for a bite to eat at a barbecue restaurant whose good smell enticed him from the gas station. It was a homey place, where the older waitress was friendly. She quickly spotted Coop for a stranger in town.

In the course of serving up mouthwatering ribs, she wormed out of him that he was an out-of-work cowboy. The waitress—Janey, according to her uniform tag—refilled the cola Coop drained. "Kinda close to summer for spreads around here to be hiring," she said. "But there's a woman ranch owner near here who's down on her luck. She has a young child. She could use a jack of-all-trades." Janey looked Coop over. "I guess you've got enough muscle, and calluses on your hands, to fit that bill. That is, if you don't have monkey business on your mind."

"Monkey business, how?" Coop asked, as if he didn't know what she meant.

"She doesn't put up with any hanky-panky."

"Gotcha," Coop responded, but he rolled his eyes as he bit into a fat, juicy rib. He polished off his meal, paid the check and left Janey a good tip. At his pickup, he decided there was still enough daylight to take a run past the no-hanky-panky widow's ranch. Just for a look-see, he told himself.

Her ranch wasn't large enough to have a name, but Janey had provided decent directions. Coop saw the house first. In the fading sunlight it looked more than weathered. The clapboard was in need of paint. The porch ran downhill. Coop guessed a section under one end had rotted out. The barn appeared to be in even worse condition if that was possible. Round water troughs, half-buried in the ground, lacked water. Thirsty cattle milled around.

Coop slammed on his brakes. Several head of cattle had strayed through a broken section of wire fencing. In the distance he saw a skinny woman—a blonde, he thought—who had a small child hanging on to her jacket, attempting to shoo the animals back into the now-open enclosure.

"Hold on," Coop yelled after he set his brake and rolled down one window. "I'll come give you a hand."

The woman's head jerked around in surprise, as if she hadn't heard his engine and had no idea anyone was on the road.

Cooper swept up the straw cowboy hat he wore when working out in the sun, and leaped down from the cab. He began turning the closest cattle back into the would-be enclosure.

The two of them eventually made headway. She from one side of the road, he from the other. At last the final stubborn steer in the group of maybe two dozen crossed over the squashed wire. Facing the woman, who stood closer to him now, Coop dragged his shirtsleeve across his brow to blot sweat he'd worked up. When he opened his eyes and took in the slender woman who'd yanked off her hat to fan her face, shock traveled from his suddenly tight jaw straight to his toes.

Though a great deal thinner, and her sky-blue eyes far more lackluster than when he'd last seen her, the much-talked-about widow was none other than Cooper's first love, Willow Courtland. Willow, who'd married his archenemy. Well, maybe calling Tate Walker his archenemy went a little far. But it had certainly been no secret around Hondo that Coop and Tate were bitter rivals. In school. In sports. And most assuredly for the affections of the woman staring at him now with total, abject shock on her face. Shock that mirrored the gut-twisting impact Cooper felt. Mouth dry, he couldn't speak.

第一章

今晚周六，库珀·德拉蒙德，曾五次荣获全国野马骑术冠军，正坐在得克萨斯州洪多的一家酒吧，慢慢地喝着他的第二杯啤酒。酒吧女招待在挑逗他，就像竞技比赛里的粉丝们一样试图引起他的注意。库珀没搭理她们，她们只好作罢，转而去找别的人。他心事重重。五年比赛下来，他原本挣了不少钱，现在却两手空空。这让他心烦。他开着一流的道奇皮卡，配有色彩搭配漂亮的双马拖车。他有一个手提箱里装满了闪光发亮的带扣，数量之多，一个人是永远都穿戴不完的。他曾经遍体鳞伤，好在都恢复了。幸运的是，他不会再受伤了，因为六个月前他已经退出比赛了。他一直在罗金R农场为尤德·雷伯恩干活，但他不愿再回到他的家——德拉蒙德三人农场了。因为他哥哥在那儿一人独断，不光管农场还干涉他的私生活。这个周六的晚上本该和往常的周六之夜一样，库珀不用穿越尘土飞扬、布满仙人掌的沟壑，去追逐离群的犍牛，而是同别的牛仔一起来市区逛逛，尽情狂欢，和那帮粉丝通宵跳两步舞。可今晚，不知为什么，他没这兴致。有的伙伴在隔壁打台球，但他也没心情参与其中。

自动点唱机传出里芭高亢的歌声《你我已情断义绝》。歌词随着欢快的音乐在屋中回荡，这让他想起他自己曾有过的那些风流往事。可以肯定的是，数目不少。

突然，一只手牢牢地抓住了他的肩膀，打断了他的思绪。他转过身，原以为是罗金农场的哪位伙计，没想到是他哥哥沙利文。库珀也没心情要他哥把旁边凳子挪过来，一屁股坐在他身边。打父亲死后，沙利文就自告奋勇，做了一家之主。从此，兄弟俩几乎见面就吵。

库珀仰起长颈酒瓶，猛喝一口，“老兄，今晚什么风把你吹到这里来了？”“你呀。你到底干什么不回家，不回你属于的德拉蒙德三人农场干活，而去给罗金农场干活？”“自从老爸死了，它就不是什么德拉蒙德三人农场了，”库珀回击道，“现在是你的一人农场吧。”“你要把品牌改成德拉蒙德双人农场吗？当初为了证明自己的能耐——我可不认为你那算什么本事——你从家里拍拍屁股走人，从那时起就没有过什么德拉蒙德双人农场。你明明可以在得克萨斯养出赚钱的夸特马群，却偏要在西南部去骑那些劣等的野马。那会儿你觉得做个潇洒快活的骑手强过在农场干活，可你现在又给尤德干活，和一般的游手好闲之徒有什么分别。”“我把马群卖了，留了两匹阉马。两匹阉马不是产仔的料，不是吗？我给尤德干活，因为尤德把我当一个男人看，一个有头脑的男人。他不像你，充大哥大。但是现在我不打算在尤德农场干了，我要往南边去。那儿有个农场主在招聘驯马手。”“是吗？那样的话，事情就更简单了。”库珀的哥哥把手伸进灯芯绒夹克衫，从内侧的口袋拿出一打文件。“五年了，这农场就靠我一人管理。我要你签字，同意把父亲名下三分之一的股份给我的儿子格雷。”他打开法律文件，拿出金笔递给库珀。“你以为这就能逼我回来吗？休想！格雷才六岁！”库珀哐当一声放下啤酒瓶。“妈妈过世那会儿，你十岁，我十五岁，父亲就立下契据，将德拉蒙德农场一分为三，并重新起名为德拉蒙德三人农场。”“父亲过世了，他留下的股份就你我一分为二。这还有问题嘛？”“你大学毕业，就一心去弄那不着边的牛仔竞技。农场的活，不管是你的、老爸的、还是我的，都是我一人扛着。”“萨利，我之所以离开家去竞技比赛，就因为你把自己当成一家之主。当时我就讨厌你对我指手画脚，现在你管不着了。”库珀抓起文件，撕成两截，让纸片散落一地，紧接着狠狠地给了他哥下巴一拳，释放了长久郁积的怨气。然后他随手把帽子往头上一戴，伸手推开转门，扬长而去。库珀跳上皮卡车，头也没回，轰隆隆开出了停车场。

萨利离开酒吧，一边活动着下巴。他坚毅的目光扫视一下四周，看到在车旁等他的红头发的漂亮妻子时，眼里还闪烁着怒火。妻子轻轻地抚摸一下他的脸，喃喃地说，“哎，我看你俩又闹僵了。萨利，我们先去路边小饭店要块冰吧？”“布莱思，我和他的关系算结束了。他撕了合同。没错，没错，你劝我不要来这儿。我想好了。库珀不能一直做隐名股东。我要去见律师，取消他的全部遗产。”“别这样，萨利。”布莱思抓住他的胳膊，“库珀是我们的家人，我们俩的家人都不多了。”她说道，眼含悲伤，“多给他点时间，再试试。库珀还年轻。父亲过世给他打击太大。他太崇拜父亲马特了。”她语气恳切，“我诊所的生意好些了。你不是说，牲口销售也有起色了嘛。我们的日子还行。求你了，萨利。你就这么个兄弟，格雷唯一的叔叔。请再给他点时间，他会回心转意的。”

萨利自从大学遇到布莱思就一直爱着她。他最后活动了一下自己的下颌，叹了口气，吻了一下妻子。“库珀不小了，都二十七了。早过了不成熟的年龄了。他身边需要个好女人。”萨利嘟囔道，“是，父亲的死是对他打击太大。可薇洛·考特兰把他给甩了，才致使他负气出走。她原本可以留住他的。”

布莱思·德拉蒙德摇摇头，“我们可能永远也不会晓得他俩分手的真正原因。库珀或许早就走出了阴影，可她嫁给了泰特·沃克，这等于是往他伤口上撒盐。”

萨利拉开小客车车门，让布莱思先上车。“依我看，这对泰特和薇洛未必就不是件值得庆幸的事。我希望巴特·沃克卖掉农场，离开此地。我没法证明是他弄走了我的牛犊子，然后烙上他家的印记。可我知道，为偷牛的事，老爸和他家积怨已久。最起码，沃克家的人都不干净。”

布莱思把腿收进车里。“萨利，你工作起来太卖力了，太操心农场和库珀的事了，”她举起一只手，“我可不想啰唆的。别看你在这儿怨声载道，你其实是想要库珀回家。干什么不请个临时工帮你几个月？库珀已经永远地离开了竞技赛。再给他点时间，等过完节就好了。你在哪里见过牛仔过圣诞节不想家的？到时如果他还不回家，我们再去找他来，给他递最后一根橄榄枝，好吗？”她一只手抚摸萨利坚硬的臂膀。

他嘘了口气，“他想回家，到时还得看我愿不愿原谅他打人。他没有要价的资格。如果要我递给他橄榄枝，也得他回德拉蒙德三人农场来取。”

萨利突然出现在酒吧，惹得库珀火冒三丈，让他原本就不好的情绪更加糟糕。在回罗金农场的路上，库珀掂量着他的选择。他给尤德干活还有点余钱。在上得州农工大学前，他卖牲畜还有点存款。

就是上大学那会儿，他迷上了竞技表演。要是他老爹没有突发心脏病倒下，还有比他大五岁的萨利不在家里一手遮天、干涉他的事，那结局就不会是今天这样。或许他不该和薇洛吵那一架。可话又说回来……哎，该死！库珀塞进一张CD，调大音量。他有几周没想过薇洛了。战前女神乐队的一首《此刻我需要你》在车里回荡，可这并不能帮他消愁解忧。

歌曲放了一半，他就把碟子啪的一声弹了出来，再塞进一张，乔治·斯特雷特的一首《我所有的前女友住在得州》，内容更适合他此时的心境。

库珀不知道薇洛是不是还住在得州。她嫁给了大笨蛋泰特·沃克之后，他俩的一切关系就此了结。他那些朋友也好，敌人也罢，都很知趣，不在库珀面前提起薇洛和泰特两人的名字。可薇洛到底还是甩了自己，嫁给了那个吹牛大王，这想起来就让他痛心。薇洛跟家人搬来洪多时在上六年级，从那时起，他和泰特就为她争风吃醋。她清楚，库珀老爸的死给他打击有多大。她清楚库珀讨厌萨利那样管理农场，成天把他呼来唤去。可是，她还是在他人生失意之时跟他摊牌：娶她还是选择竞技比赛。

库珀手指敲打着方向盘，又感到昔日困扰他的空虚感涌上心头。没错，她父亲因为骑牛比赛身困轮椅。可他向她解释过，骑牛远比骑野马危险得多，而且骑野马对他来说是轻而易举的事情，也已经干了半辈子，可她就是听不进去他的话。

这首歌结束了，乔治轻声哼唱出另一首更醇美的调子。

这一切都成了陈年旧事。萨利已经安顿下来，高高兴兴地娶了布莱思·汤普森，她后来成了一名兽医。两人如今也有了一个儿子。库珀不想承认，他对沙文的态度不好，有一部分原因是嫉妒。他原本也可以娶了薇洛，到现在也该有了一两个孩子。还说这些没用的干什么，他压根就不该回洪多。最好今晚就打点行囊，一走了之。他告诉过萨利，自己还有别的路子可走。

到了罗金农场，他已拿定主意。他去找尤德·雷伯恩：“你这围拢牲口的活快结束了，我打算到南边去看看。《马贩子》上有则刚发的广告，据说拉雷多附近有个农场主正招聘驯马手。谁都晓得我还是喜欢和马打交道些。”“库珀，我舍不得你走。不过，放心好了，我会好好给你写封推荐信。你不会离开洪多就一去不回吧？我知道，萨利希望你回到德拉蒙德三人农场。”

库珀摇摇头，“尤德，他现在未必还这么想。我和他刚刚在荷马酒吧吵了一架。”库珀活动了活动他的右手，“我俩的倔脾气是半斤八两。这不是我们头一回动手了。”“孩子，这就太要不得了。马特爱他的农场，他多想你们兄弟一起打理他心爱的农场。你妈过世的时候，马特痛不欲生，是你和萨利让他振作起来，建好农场，为的是将来你兄弟俩在德拉蒙德三人农场结婚生子，绵延后代。”

库珀心头一酸，强压住自己，说，“哎，是呀，萨利和布莱思两人不是干得好好的嘛。我嘛，是不会让个女人把我拴住的。”

尤德·雷伯恩皱起他蓬松的眉毛，从钱夹子抽出好些张二十元的钞票递给库珀。“孩子，这天天和你同床而卧女人，还真是一言难尽。她明知你身上的毛病弱点，可还只是看你的能耐和好处。到了拉雷多，给我个电话，告诉我你的地址，等会计回来算好你的工期。要是今天给少了，我好寄张支票给你。”“尤德，你我二人的账已经结清了。不管怎样，我是不想让萨利轻易找到我的。”这位农场主曾是他老爸最要好的朋友，库珀跟他握手道别，走向畜栏，牵出他的两匹小马，赶上拖车，走了。

库珀到半夜才赶到拉雷多，住进了附近的一家汽车旅馆，他睡得不好，通宵都在做噩梦。他梦到了自己十岁丧母，以及大学又遭失父的悲痛。库珀一直视马修·德拉蒙德为心中偶像。他在床上辗转难眠，把枕头团成了球。他内心还没准备好，也不愿意承认萨利现在多像父亲，都是那么少言寡语，实在可靠，是男人中的男人，是众人眼中的好丈夫、好父亲、勤劳的工人和社区的支柱。

掀开被子，库珀去洗了个澡。竞技表演赚的钱他挥霍得太多，买车，喝啤酒，玩女人。他任由水龙头的水在身上哗啦啦地流，直到凉了为止。老爸在天之灵现在准是和萨利一样，对他这个样子不开心。马特·德拉蒙德一向是个不惹是生非的人，跟他现在的行事作风全然两样。库珀啪地关上水龙头，很快擦干身子，穿上衣服。

六月末的天空挂着紫色、红色、橙色条纹相间的云层，他把行李袋扔到皮卡车的驾驶室，准备离开拉雷多到麦克亨利大牧场。夏天的炎热不用一会儿就会把柏油马路烤化。

鲍勃·麦克亨利大个头，秃顶，嘴里嚼着烟叶，他吐了两口才向库珀说抱歉得很，已经雇了个驯马的。

库珀谢过他，问可不可以就近用他的马槽给自己的马先喂点水，然后折回到车旁。这大片的农场真美，管理有方，四周打上了三条铁轨式的白色栅栏。自己来得太晚了，库珀有点失望。他想，要是能在这里干活该多好。“喂，冠军。”有个长相很粗糙的牛仔用大嗓门跟饮马的库珀打招呼。库珀瞧见一个罗圈腿的人爬过栅栏，正脱下手套。“鲍勃·麦克亨利同意了的。”库珀说着，心想牛仔是在担心他在这儿捣蛋。

不成想，小伙子伸出手，“雷弗·詹姆斯。在梅斯基特竞技赛上，你和我哥洛厄尔曾两度交锋，你两次以几秒之差胜出。”“没错，我认识洛厄尔。他现在怎么样？上次比赛后，我离开了竞技赛，可我在决赛上再也没见过洛厄尔。”“他遇见个妞，蒙大拿的，两人结了婚。他在非循环竞技赛上牵了匹烈马，屁股撞在了狭槽上，此后就再没好利落过。他老婆要他别干了。她老爹正好退休，两人现在接手了她老爹在波兹曼附近的饲料库。”

雷弗问他在拉雷多干什么，他撅起嘴，“我见到鲍勃打的广告，说要个驯马的。可他说已经有人了，我还得赶路，看看有没有需要夏季割草的帮手，或者需要赶牛到夏季牧场的活。”

小伙子往嘴里塞了个口香糖，“这一带情况不太好，经济呀什么的都不行。我倒听说个寡妇，带着个女儿，就住在卡里索斯普林斯郊区。她付不起工钱，所以不雇长工。老公酒醉打架，被枪打死了，从那以后她也是在勉强支撑吧。还有啊，他们都说她是个大美人。”这人碰了碰他的手臂，“直到现在，想和她上床的牛仔都被她给打发走了。不过，冠军，以你在竞技圈的鼎鼎大名，准有美事等着你呢，只要你不嫌薪酬低。”

库珀不觉得自己能接受那种行为，他把马牵拢，回击道：“女人身陷逆境，援手相助，难道不是我们牛仔不成文的法则吗？”“哇哦，瞧你说的。我猜是你那些冠军称号让你高高在上了。我不是要说寡妇的坏话，就是闲磕牙。就当我什么都没说，我得回去撒种了。”

那牛仔一跛一瘸地走了。牛仔的话又戳到他的痛处，他想起许多萨利对他的指责，让他耿耿于怀。敢情雷弗这样的小伙子还以为，竞技手成天有粉丝们呼前拥后，是件多神气的事。远不是那回事。库珀喜欢女人，在比赛圈内的他自会当仁不让。不过，这几年这样的生活方式已经老套了。

所以，库珀没有马上朝卡里索斯普林斯进发。他朝着那个方向，顺着单行道慢慢滑进。每过一处农场，他就停下来，打听一下需不需要人手。

有两处的农场主也说起了这位寡妇。库珀不想和这个生活艰苦的女人有什么瓜葛，他喜欢那些靠自己努力混出点样子的女人。

牛仔们东游西荡，像布了张网，因此各种消息流通也很便利。在阿蒂西亚威尔斯附近的一个农场，一位近来沿着35号州际公路找工作的农场工人就告诉库珀，洪多附近的德拉蒙德三人农场要招聘临时农场管理人员，工期是从现在到圣诞节。

库珀感到内疚，但还不至于掉头回家，这消息反而让他朝卡里索斯普林斯走得更快，可以说，寡妇成了他手中最后的一张王牌。

很幸运，在阿瑟顿外面的一家农场，他找了点临时活干。这三天，他顶替一个牛仔，帮着给牲口烙印，因为这个牛仔扭伤了扔套索的那只手腕。烙印这活又热又脏又臭，可库珀能赚到几个现钱，还能在晚上和这帮想法类似的人瞎侃一通，虽说他们多是西班牙裔，只有几个会说英语。好在他们似乎没人听说过什么库珀的赛马成就，就算听说了，也不会把它跟眼前这个脏兮兮的流浪汉扯上关系，也不会把库珀和大名鼎鼎的德拉蒙德三人农场联系在一起。

头天晚上，库珀排队洗完澡，刮完了胡子，年纪最小的牛仔打趣说，库珀长得太标致了，干不了这种把公牛放出狭道按住烙印的活。库珀只笑了笑。他们坐着，望着太阳落山，年岁大点的阿朗佐掏出口风琴，于是库珀走向皮卡车，取出他的吉他。在竞技赛季，他时常弹弹，舒缓神经。连续两个晚上，大伙一起欣赏那些耳熟能详的曲子。这些曲子是以前赶牲畜上市时安抚焦躁不安的牲畜用的。第三天结束时，库珀的工期也到了。库珀跟新朋友道别，心里很不是滋味。他也不喜欢这样，这儿干两天，那儿做三天。他更喜欢稳定的工作。

距离卡里索斯普林斯还有几英里，他把车停在紧急停车带，坐在那儿很久很久，再考虑一下自己要不要回家，假设德拉蒙德三人农场还算家的话。他需要拿定主意，是不是还要把那儿当家。

他的车载全球卫星定位系统显示，离卡里索斯普林斯还有九英里。他可以直接开出城，上83号公路到尤瓦尔迪。车开到了十字路口，可直达洪多，回到德拉蒙德三人农场。尤德·伯恩跟他说过，他家的老屋现在空了。萨利和布莱思在偌大的农场上建了新屋，这样离布莱思诊所更近。

是否让萨利当自己的老板，库珀还举棋不定，但他一边继续想一边驶离了路边停车带。在卡里索斯普林斯，他停车加油。一家烧烤店飘出香味，把他从加油站诱惑了过去。店里很温馨，年长的女招待很友好，她一眼就看出库珀是初来乍到。

招待一边给他端上美味的排骨，一边从他那套出话来，知道了他是个找活干的牛仔。女招待叫简妮，衣服上的吊牌这么写着，她给库珀满上他喝光的可乐，“快夏天了，这周围应该有活干，”她说，“这儿有个农场主，女的，有点背运，带着个小孩。她需要个什么活都能上手的帮手。”简妮打量着库珀，“我看你身强力壮，双手老茧，不正好嘛。只是一条，不要对她打什么歪主意。”“歪主意，什么意思？”库珀问，假装不知所云。“她受不了男女之间偷鸡摸狗的那档子事。”“明白了，”库珀应了声，他吃着肥嫩多汁的排骨，骨碌碌地转动着眼睛。他草草吃完饭，买完单，付给简妮一笔丰厚的小费。他走到皮卡车旁，觉得天色尚早，还可以开到不偷鸡摸狗的寡妇农场。不就瞧一眼嘛，他告诉自己。

她的农场不算大，还用不着名字，不过简妮介绍的足够了。库珀先看见房子。暮色苍茫，房屋更显得饱经风霜。护墙板需要上漆。门廊颓败。库珀估摸，在门廊一端有的地方已破损。牲口棚更显得破烂。圆形的饮水槽，半截埋在泥中，没水。口渴的牛在旁边转悠。

库珀猛踩刹车。由于铁丝栅栏一处破损，几头牛已经溜到外面。在远处，他望见一个瘦骨嶙峋的女人——他估摸着头发还是金色的——胳膊下抱着个小孩，发出嘘嘘声，想把动物赶回开着的围栏。“慢点，”库珀刹住车，摇下窗子，叫喊道，“让我帮你一把。”

女人惊得猛回头，似乎刚刚没听见他的引擎声，也不晓得有人在路上。

库珀一把摘下平时在太阳下干活时戴的牛仔草帽，跳下车，试着把离自己最近的牲口赶回围栏。

两人总算有点进展，她在路的这一侧，他在另外一侧。二十头左右的牛中最倔的那头最后总算跨过了压碎的栅栏。眼前的女人，站得离他更近了。他挥袖去擦额上累出的汗，等睁开眼，才看清了这位正拿帽子当扇子扇的苗条妇人，他大吃一惊，从头到脚都僵住了。

尽管她更见消瘦了，天蓝色的眼睛远没有了昔日的光彩，原来街谈巷议的寡妇竟是他的初恋情人——薇洛·考特兰。薇洛嫁给了他的死敌。说泰特·沃克是他的“死敌”或许有点言过其实，不过在洪多，没有人不知道他俩是死对头，上学读书也好，运动场上也罢，尤其是为赢得眼前这女人的芳心。她正盯着他，脸上是羞愤难当的震惊，这种震惊给库珀一种心如刀绞的感觉。他口干舌燥，说不出话来。

Chapter Two

Willow Walker tried to blink away her shock. Tried to blink away what surely had to be an illusion. Thoughts of Cooper Drummond had filled her head so often since he went off to rodeo, she'd undergone a flash of hope, soon coupled with disbelief, and yes—vulnerability. She didn't want him to see her like this. Stringy hair. Grubby from chasing stupid steers. Down on her luck. Was she really close enough to reach out and touch the man she'd loved for more than half her life, the man she'd sent away and sworn to give up?

Neither of them spoke a word, adding to the surreal atmosphere. Willow couldn't have made a comment now if her life depended on it. There was a lump the size of Texas stuck in her throat. Suddenly she felt a tug on her limp hand, and Willow glanced down, cupping a sweaty palm reassuringly around her daughter's curly hair.

Tension continued to sing through the air as the cattle lowed and jostled one another for a spot circling the nearly empty, buried water barrel. Coop walked over to inspect it, and hung his hat on one of the surviving fence posts. Good sense screamed at him to hop back in his pickup and drive on down the road, code of the west be damned. He couldn't help the anger bubbling up inside him. He had five years of needing to vent his spleen at Willow bottled up.

Standing stiffly, allowing his gaze to slide over her from head to toe, what slammed Cooper in the chest was seeing her so thin, with an ever-growing wariness in dull blue eyes that used to sparkle all the time.

Something else tugged at his conscience. The skittish child hiding behind Willow. Tate Walker's kid. Coop's stomach tumbled and spun. He found it harder to swallow. He gritted his teeth to hold on to the old memories that told how long he'd nursed a broken heart thanks to this woman. The longer he stood silently clenching and unclenching his hands, the more Coop realized that his feelings for Willow weren't as dead as he'd like them to be. His earlier assessment of her home, her barn, her ranch and her appearance left him with a sharp concern for her well-being—a nagging worry about her immediate predicament. She was a widow.

Finding his voice, he said in a rush, "Look, I heard via the grapevine that you're in a bind here and could use some help. I didn't know it was you, Willow. But for old times' sake, I can lend a hand for a few days."

Choking on her embarrassment—because in the back of her mind Willow thought Coop had come in search of her—she managed to shake her head. The love she'd once had for Cooper Drummond fled, to be replaced by panic. He shouldn't be here. She didn't want him witnessing the depths to which she'd sunk. Scraping back her hair, she finally stammered, "I'm fine. I don't know why anyone would say I need help.

I'm fine. Fine," she reiterated more loudly, but dropped her hand to hide its shaking. "What are you doing here, anyway, Cooper? Why aren't you off at some rodeo?"

Her questions battered his unsteady senses. Willow was nowhere near as receptive to his offer as she ought to be, given the state of her ranch.

Avoiding eye contact with him, she scooped up her daughter and backed away.

The move gave Coop a clearer look at the child, age three or so, he'd guess. A small-boned, delicate, brown-haired girl with huge hazel eyes. In spite of her darker coloring, Cooper saw more of a young Willow in her daughter than he saw of his old nemesis, Tate Walker. But Tate was represented, too, in those hazel eyes.

Wilting under his scrutiny, Willow backed up farther.

Coop noticed right away how nervous she seemed, as if she was afraid of him. That made him reel. Surely Willow couldn't think he'd ever hurt her or any kid! Or that he'd held a grudge because of the callous way she dumped him. Still, Coop had to glance off into the distance to relax the tension cramping his jaw.

Once he felt at ease, he returned to her questions. "Willow, I've got eyes. Even if I hadn't heard at ranches along the route that you could use an all-around hand, this broken fence is plainly in need of muscle." He managed a halfhearted smile and playfully flexed an arm. Pride kept him from admitting that he'd left the rodeo. After all, their whole blow-up had been centered around his need to prove he could win big riding broncs, and her displeasure with that. "I'm just passing through," he said. "But I can spare some time to help you catch up on a few chores around this place."

"Just passing through on your way to the next rodeo?" she retorted.

With his fingers curling into his thighs, Cooper debated continuing to withhold information about his personal life that was really none of her business.

But what the hell, he decided in the next breath. A lot of years had rolled by since their split. "I guess you could say I got smart. I sure got tired of being dumped on my butt. The rodeo's out of my system. For the past six months or so, I've hired on to work at various ranches. Chasing strays. Branding.Helping with roundup." He raised one shoulder negligently.

A small frown appeared on Willow's face. "Pardon me for sounding nosy, but why are you signing on with various ranches? Why aren't you home working at the Triple D?"

Shifting away from her cool eyes, which pinned him down and made him flush guiltily, Coop grabbed his hat and settled it firmly on his head. Jiggling the post to see how solid it was, he blew out a sigh. "You probably don't know, since you moved away from Hondo, but Sullivan and I had a falling-out. You could call it a major disagreement. Many of them."

"Hmm. I see. That explains why you got this far down south, I suppose. However, none of it changes the fact that I really can't afford your services, Cooper." Now Willow drew in a huge breath and let it out in a heavy sigh.

"How do you fill your water barrels?" he asked. "You've got a passel of thirsty cows."

"I used to fill this one with a hose, but it split in a few spots, and most of the water leaks out between here and the well house. There's a pond on the property. I try to drive the cattle there twice a day. The silly things prefer to bolt through the fence to get to the stream across the road and down the hill. I'm lucky it's not a well-traveled highway."

"Maybe I can repair the hose temporarily with duct tape. I have a roll in my pickup. Unless you have couplings in the barn, the type to splice a hose."

She shook her head. "Don't trouble yourself. I tried duct tape, but the hose split in other spots. The sun will set soon, Coop. I'm not sure where you're heading next, but there are a number of fair-size cattle spreads up around Crystal City. You might find work that pays decent wages."

"Let's not discuss money. I can afford to donate a few days to an old friend."

Rallying momentarily, Willow grimaced and said, "Careful who you're calling old, Cooper Drummond. I'm a whole year younger than you, remember?" She expected him to laugh, but he studied her acutely and remained sober.

"I must look a sight," she mumbled, pausing to bury her blushing face in her silent daughter's shoulder. "I... It's getting late. I've been outside working all day."

"You look tired," Coop said diplomatically, really thinking she seemed tense and frazzled.

Willow flung out a hand. "Obviously you heard about Tate's death on your travels. This ranch isn't big by any stretch of the imagination. But I can't seem to keep up with everything that needs doing. Six months ago I decided to sell and listed with a Realtor in town. There's only been one lookie-loo and no takers. I haven't actually done a detailed count of my herd, but I believe I own about two hundred Angus steers. If I can figure out how to get them to market, that'll cut my workload a lot."

Coop surveyed the milling cattle. "You need to fatten them up if you hope to make any money off them at summer market. It's time to start adding corn to the grass they're still finding to graze on." He purposely didn't remark on her husband's death. Still, Willow's eyes seemed a bit vague to Cooper.

Bending, he reset a couple of metal posts the steers had pushed down. He jammed the tips into the soil with nothing more than brute force, then manhandled the wire fencing back on to hooks that lined the posts. Breathing hard, he said, "That'll only hold until the next adventurous cow bumps against it." He waved toward his color-coordinated truck and trailer. "I'm hauling two of my cutting horses. Why don't I saddle and bridle one, and drive these escape artists over to your pond? After that I can figure out what else is a priority around here."

She was quiet for so long, Coop spun back around to see Willow frown before she jerked her chin a couple of times in a reluctant nod.

"The pond's about a quarter of a mile straight back and up over a hill behind the barn," she said warily, as if she distrusted his real reason for making the offer.

Baffled by her hesitation, Coop eventually realized he could probably blame Tate's dislike of him for her wariness. After all, Tate had five years to fill her head with lies about him. Cooper felt a stab of sadness for what might have been. A stab of sadness for what he'd let go. He fought against a deeper ache, because while everyone up in the valley knew there never was any love lost between him and Tate, they all knew how both of them had fallen head over heels for Willow Courtland. She had no reason to ever doubt the trueness of a heart Coop always wore on his sleeve. But she'd unwittingly played into his and Tate's battle from junior high until after they'd gone to college at Texas A&M.

Instead of saying anything more, Coop backed his surefooted quarter horse Legend out of the trailer, then retrieved the sorrel he called Rusty. He led Rusty to a shade tree surrounded by patchy grass and looped his lead rope over a branch. About to comment on how cool it was beneath the old oak, Coop was surprised to discover that Willow had left and returned to the house. The screen door still quivered behind her.

He shook his head to clear it of memories reaching back to college days, when he and Willow had first made love, and then forward to the time he assumed he'd won the rivalry with Tate. It still galled him to think how easily Tate had stepped into his place when he'd taken off to rodeo. Tate had lost no time filling the void of Coop's absence, and as a result, Tate had walked away with the top prize. She was the woman Cooper had fully expected to spend his life with—the woman he'd expected to have his children.

That kind of reminiscing held only negative implications and no positives. Jaw locked, he tossed a well-worn saddle on Legend, slid on a bridle and climbed aboard the horse. Coop swept off his hat and with a satisfying cowboy yell of "Hiya hi hi!" he sent Willow's renegade steers trotting off in the direction of the pond.

WILLOW STOOD BY the living-room window, careful to stay in the shadows where Coop couldn't possibly see her, and admired the efficiency with which he rounded up and drove the cattle out of her front yard. She should've kept the horse that Tate's dad had given him when they moved to this ranch. But in the year since Tate's death, she'd had to let go of several items and animals, whose sale became necessary for their daily survival. Her daughter, Lillybelle, needed expensive care that wasn't readily available here.

Would it be so horrible if she accepted Cooper's offer to help out with some of the harder chores around the ranch? So what if he learned how big a mess Tate had left her in? Darn, but she tried so hard to keep up, to hold her head high, and not let on how dire her straits were. It shocked her when Cooper said folks had gossiped about her. She couldn't tell if he already knew Tate had died when she brought it up. Of course, the part-timers she'd hired probably had talked about her after they left. She'd backed a few of them off with an old unloaded shotgun, which she hated, although it served its purpose—deterring amorous cowboys on the prowl. Heaven only knew what hairy stories they told about her around the campfire. Some of the cowboys hadn't wanted to take no for an answer.

And therein lay the problem with letting Cooper Drummond stay a few days. The concern might not come from him—he'd always been a gentleman. It would more likely come from her, and the risk that she'd reveal how often he'd wormed his way into her thoughts over the years. Perhaps because of that, Willow had mistakenly assumed he'd come to find her. But why would he?

If she did let him handle a few chores, the same rules that she set for all her hired help would have to apply to him, as well. No fraternization with the lady of the ranch. Zero. Nada. Zippo. Even as she voiced the words aloud, her heart gave a little jolt, and she tried to ward off memories of how comforted she'd always felt in Coop's strong arms. As a boy who grew up tossing around hay bales and wrestling down steers for branding, he'd always had muscles. But now that he was a man, Willow could only imagine how years of keeping thousand-pound-plus bucking horses in check had honed Coop's upper body.

Shuddering, she thrust aside that particular image.

She led Lily to the kitchen table, and boosted her up on a wooden box tied to a chair. Willow retrieved a box of graham crackers, relishing the flash of delight in her child's eyes. She was less happy to see that the box was almost empty. So were her other cupboards, and her bank balance was severely strained. If Coop decided to stick around, he'd need to be fed. Working men, as she knew from having fed a few ranch hands of late, expected hearty meals. She scrimped, but she couldn't cut back when it came to feeding her daughter or the workers. She'd come to resent the way Tate had spent so much money on booze, gambling and women in town. He'd stopped working on the ranch, and as a result, he'd gone to flab. She'd have left if he hadn't sworn he'd have Lily taken away from her. That had scared her into staying.

Coop's arrival brought to the fore so many regrets that Willow had repeatedly told herself should remain buried with Tate. As her mother had pointed out, she'd made the choice to marry him. Made her bed, so to speak, and now needed to tough it out. Lie in it and cry in it, alone all her livelong nights.

OUT ON THE RANGE, Coop rode along the flimsy fence and noted several spots in need of reinforcement. There were two fields that should be ripe with summer hay, but which had been trampled by a herd that was probably too big for the acres Willow had.

Climbing off Legend, he inspected some winter grass chewed down to the roots. It was a field where summer rye should have been reseeded. Straightening, Coop squinted into the sun as he let a handful of soil filter through his fingers and watched it blow off in the wind. He tried to gauge if Willow had the resources to save her herd long enough to fatten them up and truck them to the nearest stockyard. Maybe yes. Maybe no.

All the ranchers he'd visited in the south of Texas had complained about the extended drought. Perhaps Willow figured it was a waste money to replant fields that might not produce. Except she had the pond. Near as Coop could tell, it was partially fed by the stream she'd mentioned, but there also had to be underground artesian springs for the pond to be so full of sweet water—a lifeline for the cattle she did have.

The whole place seemed awfully run-down considering that Tate had only died a year ago. On the other hand, who was he to judge? Coop chided himself. He had let Sully struggle alone to keep the Triple D afloat. Willow was alone too—and she had a child.

If coming here and stumbling upon her again did nothing else, it made Coop realize that when he finished helping Willow, it was time he go home. How far in the future that would be depended on how much assistance Willow was willing to let him provide.

She'd posted the ranch for sale. She probably didn't want to sink too much money into a ranch she didn't intend to hang on to. Even a small investment would increase her chances for attracting a buyer, but it'd been patently obvious that money was an issue with her. Unless her problem was with hiring him. Coop had to accept that Willow may not have harbored the same warm feelings he'd recently rediscovered. Feelings that, for him, had lain dormant. They'd had some good times back in the old days, he thought. Well, not that old, as Willow had pointed out. So, her humorous side wasn't totally gone.

WILLOW NEEDED TO clean Lilybelle after the graham crackers ended up all over her face and shirt. "Come on, girly. Shower time for us."

She took a few extra minutes to wash and blow-dry her own hair, all the while insisting she wasn't trying to improve her looks for Cooper.

"Don't we look pretty," she exclaimed, holding her daughter up to the dresser mirror as she brushed out the girl's nut-brown curls, loving the way they fell in perfect ringlets around her pixie face. Willow's own hair was straight as a stick and was so unremarkable she usually pulled it back in a ponytail.

As Lilybelle watched without expression, Willow blew raspberries against her three-year-old's neck, hoping for a spontaneous giggle or any sort of reaction. All the girl did was push her mother's face away. She grabbed the tattered plush rabbit she'd had since infancy and ran from the room. Willow heard the screen door slam. Would she ever break through Lily's barriers?

Willow shut her eyes for a moment, then dragged both her hands down her cheeks. They never used to look this sunken. Foregoing lipstick or blush which she hadn't used in so long she'd forgotten where she'd stashed the containers, Willow gave another twist to the rubber band holding her ponytail. Beauty products wouldn't help her run the ranch, so why bother? Exiting the room, she tracked after her daughter, although Willow knew exactly where she'd find her. On the porch, in her favorite corner.

She had no more than stepped out the door herself, still barefoot, when she saw Cooper trotting his big gelding right up to the steps. He vaulted out of the saddle and landed mere inches away from her. Flushing, Willow leaped backward and bumped into the wall.

"Sorry," Coop said, sounding breathless. "I got so caught up in surveying your land, I was afraid it'd be dark before I had a chance to try and repair the hose and fill the water tanks—wow, you smell good," he said. "Like sugar cookies."

"Vanilla," she corrected, sidling farther away. "It's my shampoo."

Coop wrinkled his nose. "I don't blame you for shying away from me. I've been out in the sun for hours. I should have stopped for a dip in your pond."

"You probably still can. It stays light longer now that summer's here. What's the verdict on other projects after the hose?" she asked.

"I don't have to tell you the whole place is in poor shape." Removing his hat, Coop raked a hand through his sweat-damp hair, standing the almost-black locks on end. "A good, all-around cowhand could improve this place immensely, you want someone who can paint, do fence repair, fatten cattle and maybe break the wild colt I spotted in your high pasture—which by the way needs new seed in the worst way. It'd take about three to four weeks, but it's all stuff that'll attract prospective buyers much faster."

"Three to four weeks?" Willow gasped and clutched a hand to her throat. "Out of the question. I simply can't afford that. I need to sell fast, though. Or failing that, get the steers to market. I'm tempted to do that and let the ranch go back to the bank."

"Then what will you do, Willow? Go live with your mom? I know your dad passed away the year I left town. I was scheduled for a rodeo at the time," he mumbled, adding belated condolences.

"At least Dad's no longer suffering. And, no, I can't move in with Mom. She's remarried. To a man she met through friends. They live in East Texas, in the Piney Woods. Working two jobs for as long as she did, while taking care of Dad, she deserves to kick back and be happy without me underfoot."

"Seems to me that you did more caregiving than she did. But, hey, this ranch won't be half the work once it's spruced up. If you don't have anyplace to go..." He tugged an ear, letting his sentence trail.

"I'd have to raise something to make the ranch pay, Cooper," she said. "But I can't. I don't have money for seed. And the bottom line is I need a job that'll allow me to spend more time with Lilybelle. We need to move to a city with access to services for special-needs children," she said, her eyes straying to the child rocking herself where she crouched in one corner of the porch. "My daughter is autistic," Willow revealed quietly. Cooper could see her lips tremble visibly even though she looked away.

第二章

薇洛·沃克眨眨眼，尽量掩饰她的惊讶，努力证明眼前的只是幻象。自从库珀·德拉蒙德离开去参加竞技赛后，她常常想起他，她甚至抱有过一线希望，随即又怀疑自己的想法，是呀——还是自己太软弱。她不想他看见自己背时倒运的狼狈相，凌乱的头发，赶着那些笨牛回栏，一身脏兮兮的。可眼前这个男人，她曾那么爱过他，后来又把他赶走，还发誓与他永无可能。他现在真的就近在咫尺，可以伸手抚摸吗？

他俩都不言语，更让这样的会面显得不真实。薇洛想说点什么，可就是说不出口。她哽咽了，一块巨大的东西塞住了她的喉咙。突然她感到耷拉的手被拽了一下，她望着女儿，用汗津津的手安慰地抚弄着她的卷发。

牛群哞哞地叫着，你推我挤，围着埋在地里的空水缸。紧张在空气里蔓延。库珀走过去瞧了瞧，把帽子挂在一根残留的柱子上。理智在拼命叫他回到皮卡，开车上路，让什么西部牛仔准则见鬼去吧。他怒火中烧，控制不住。五年来，他对薇洛的怒气郁结于心，需要一泄为快。

他一动不动地站着，从头到脚地注视着她。她变得瘦骨伶仃，蓝眼睛里没了昔日的光彩，变得越来越警惕，库珀看着这样的她，胸中波涛起伏。

又一件事情拷打着库珀的道德。那活泼可爱的孩子正躲在薇洛身后。泰特·沃克的孩子。库珀的胃一阵翻动，嗓子干涸。他咬着牙，努力抓住过去的记忆，想着这些年，这个女人让他伤透了心。他站在那儿，一声不响，两手攥紧了又松开。他站得越久，就越感到自己对薇洛没有像自己预想的那样绝情。这家、这牲口棚、这农场、她的模样，他都看在眼里。这一切让他真切地关心她的日子过得怎么样——关心她如今的窘境。她现在是一个寡妇。

他鼓足勇气，匆忙地说道：“是这样的，我听人说你有难处，需要帮手。薇洛，我还不晓得是你。看在你我过去的份上，我可以搭手帮你几天。”

她窘得说不出话来——薇洛原以为库珀是专程为她而来的——她努力把头摇了摇。她昔日对库珀的爱不翼而飞了，而且爱变成了恐慌。他不该来这儿，她不想他见到自己落魄成这样。她理了理头发，终于结结巴巴地说，“我好着呢。我不明白为什么有人会说我需要帮手。”“我好着呢，好好的，”她反复地讲，嗓门更高了。可她放下颤抖的手，免得人看见，“库珀，你怎么会来这里？为什么没去竞技赛？”

她的问题让他一时没回过神来。虽然农场一团糟，但她对他的援手相助并不那么领情。

她回避着他的眼神，抱起她的女儿，后退了几步。

这样一来，库珀把孩子看得更清楚了，他猜测她三岁左右，小骨骼，体弱，棕色头发，褐色大眼睛。尽管肤色有点深，但库珀从她女儿的身上更多看到了薇洛年轻时的影子，多过他的老对手泰特·沃克。但他的影子也有，在那双褐色的眼睛里。

在他审视的目光下，薇洛又退缩了几步。

库珀一下看出她有多紧张，像是怕他似的。这让他有点晕。薇洛不会想着他会去伤害她和孩子吧！她莫非以为因为当年无情地甩了他，他还心存怨恨？库珀只得望望远处，放松自己紧张的面部肌肉。

等紧张劲一缓过来，他又回到她的问话，“薇洛，我自己长了眼睛。这一路过来，就算我没听别人说你要个能干的帮手，你这坏掉的栅栏不正需要劳力修整嘛。”他做出不经意的微笑，装作悠闲地活动胳膊。自尊心让他无法说出自己已经离开了竞技赛。毕竟，他俩原来就是为此发生争吵，一个要去证明自己有实力赢得大赛，另一个为此感到不快。“我就是路过，”他说，“我可以腾出点时间，帮你把这儿打理打理。”“只是路过这儿，赶去下场比赛吗？”她回嘴道。

库珀垂在腿边的手指抓进肉里，盘算着自己的事情是否要继续瞒着她，可这原本就不干她的事。

但是管它呢，下一秒他就做出了决定。两人分手已经多年了，“我猜你会说我变聪明了。我确实厌倦了被甩得屁股开花。竞技赛跟我没什么关系了。过去这六个月来，我在好几家农场做工，赶失散的家畜，烙印，帮着聚拢牲口。”他随意地耸耸肩。

薇洛微微皱着眉，“原谅我有点多嘴，可你干吗要找别的农场？你干吗不在家里干，在德拉蒙德三人农场干？”

她冷静的眼神让他羞愧脸红。库珀避开她的眼神，抓起帽子，稳稳地扣在头上，用手轻轻摇了摇柱子，检查结不结实。他长叹一声，“你未必知道，你离开洪多后，沙利文跟我意见不合，我们两人根本就想不到一块儿去，三天两头地吵。”“嗯，我懂了。怪不得你跑得这么远。可是，库珀，什么都不能改变这个事实，我付不起你的工钱。”薇洛深深地吸了口气，重重地叹道。“你从哪儿打水？这儿有一群牛等着饮水呢。”“我原来用软管输水，可有几处破了，从水井到这儿，水多半就漏掉了。农场有个池塘。我尽量一天赶两趟牲口去那儿。可这些蠢东西就喜欢穿栅栏，走一段路，再下山，到溪边去饮水。好在这条路上车不多。”“或许我可以用布基胶带暂时修修水管。我车上有一卷。或者你有没有软管接头，连接管子的那种。”

她摇摇头，“甭费劲了。我试过布基胶布，可水管别的地方还会破。库珀，太阳快下山了。我不知道你下一站在哪儿。在克里斯特尔城附近有几家挺大的农场，那里的工资或许不错。”“甭跟我谈钱。给老朋友干几天活，我还是能承受的。”

薇洛一下来了精神，做了个鬼脸说，“你说话可要小心点，库珀·德拉蒙德，你说我老，我小你整整一岁，记得吧？”她盼着他笑起来，可他仍然用敏锐冷静的目光看着她。“看我这副狼狈相，丢人了，”她嘟囔道，赶紧把红红的脸埋到安静不语的女儿的肩上，“我……天晚了，我在外干了一天的活。”“你累了，”库珀客套地说，可内心真的觉得她很紧张、疲惫。

薇洛摆摆手，“显然你早就听说泰特过世了。我这农场根本算不上大农场。我好像没这个能力把它料理好。六个月前，我决定把它卖了，去城里一家房地产经纪人那里做了登记，有个客户过来瞧了瞧，可没人出手买。我都没细细清点过牲口，我估摸有两百头安格斯牛。我要是能把他们卖掉，我的工作量就会轻很多。”

库珀审视了一圈这瞎转悠的牛群，“夏季行市好，能卖个好价钱，可你得让牲口长膘。除了它们自己找草吃，你还得加玉米料。”他有意避开她丈夫过世的话题，可薇洛的眼神依旧茫然。

牛群撞倒了几根铁柱，他俯身把它们安好。他用力把柱子的尖端插入地下，把铁丝栅栏理顺，让钩子勾住柱子。他一边喘着大气一边说，“这个也不管用，一头性子野的牛就能撞开。”他指着自己色彩搭配漂亮的皮卡说，“我车上有两匹截牛马，等我给它装上马鞍，套上僵索，把这些会脱身术的家伙赶到水塘边，然后再想想该先干什么。”

她很长时间没有说话。库珀回头，看见薇洛眉头皱起，不情愿地点着下巴算是表示同意。“水塘在牲口棚后面，先直走，再上山坡，大约四分之一英里。”她的言语中透出几分小心翼翼，似乎信不过他出手相助的真实原因。

她犹豫不决，这让他困惑，不过他终于明白了，这都是因为泰特讨厌他。毕竟，五年的时间，泰特可以给她脑子灌输好多有关他的谎言。一想到失之交臂的姻缘，想到自己的撒手放弃，库珀就感到一阵伤感穿心而过。他挣扎着，抵制着内心更深处的痛。虽说在谷地，人人都知道他和泰特之间没感情可言，但他们两人都爱上了薇洛·考特兰，都爱得死心塌地。她有什么理由怀疑自己的真心、自己的坦诚。但她是无意之中卷入他俩的争斗。他俩的争风吃醋之战从初中就开始了，一直到上了得州农工大学。

库珀没再言语，他把步履稳健的夸特马“传奇”牵下拖车，再找回栗色马“拉斯特”，把它们牵到一棵能遮阴的树下，将绳子套在一根枝丫上。树的四周长着草。他还没来得及说老橡树下好凉快，就惊讶地发现，薇洛已经离开这儿回屋了。纱门还在她背后颤动。

他摇摇头，想摆脱自己大学时的记忆，从他第一次和薇洛做爱，到后来他以为自己已经击败了情敌泰特。他一想起这些，心里就堵得慌。当年自己离开家乡去参加竞技赛，泰特竟然轻而易举取代了他的地位，迅速填补了库珀留下的空缺，抱走了头号大奖。她是库珀想厮守终身的女人，想和她生儿育女的女人。

那样的回忆只带给他负面的情绪，而不是积极的暗示。他咬紧牙关，把一副用旧的马鞍扔到“传奇”背上，穿上缰绳，骑上马背。库珀一挥帽子，随着西部牛仔畅快的吆喝声“嗨呀嗨嗨呀”，薇洛那些四散的牛群朝着水塘小跑起来。

薇洛站在客厅的窗边，刻意躲在阴影处，免得库珀看见她。她佩服他赶牲口的那股利索劲。她本该留下当年搬来农场时泰特父亲送的那匹马。可泰特过世到如今，她被逼卖家当、卖牲口来维持生计。女儿莉莉贝尔需要昂贵的治疗费，她却无力负担。

要是她接受库珀的提议，让他帮着干些农场的重活，这会很糟糕吗？但是，如果他发现了泰特留给她这么大的一个烂摊子，那该怎么办？真该死，她费劲撑着门面，想抬起头做人，不让别人看出她日子过得有多艰难。可库珀说旁人对她说三道四的，这让她很惊讶。她看不出来当自己提起泰特已经过世这事的时候库珀是不是早已知情。是呀，那些打零工的人会议论她。她曾端起其实未上膛的老猎枪赶跑了几个。她不想这样做，可目的达到了——让那些多情的牛仔对她望而却步。天知道他们围着篝火时会编出有关她的什么天方夜谭。有些牛仔就是不肯承认自己被拒绝了。

留下库珀·德拉蒙德的麻烦就在这里。问题或许不在他那儿——他一向是个绅士。问题多半在她自己，万一她流露出这些年自己如何对他牵念挂怀呢。或许正因为这个，薇洛才误以为他是专程为自己而来。可他干什么要为她而来呢？

即便让他留下，也得对他一视同仁，约法三章。甭跟这农场女人套近乎。不能有任何关系，一点也不能有，绝对不能有。这些话她嘴上说得振振有词，其实对他已经心动了。她努力挡住那些记忆，当年库珀坚实的臂膀给了她多少的安慰。打小他就成天扔干草捆，按住公牛给它们烙印，长了一身的肌肉。如今，他已长成男子汉了。她稍微动脑筋一想就能知道，多年驯服上千磅重的赛马，还得保证不从弓背跳跃的马匹上摔下来，库珀上肢和躯干的肌肉有多么发达。

她打了个冷战，不去想那幅画面。

她把莉莉带到厨房，放到一个跟椅子绑在一起的木盒子里。薇洛拿来一盒全麦粉的酥饼干，宠爱地看着女儿闪耀着喜悦的眼睛。眼看盒子快空了，她就没那么开心了。橱柜也差不多空空如也，存折的钱也所剩无几了。如果库珀坚持要呆几天，还得给他弄吃的。那些下力气的人，据她近来的经验，总想吃得舒舒服服。她自己过日子精打细算，可总不能省在女儿身上或者省在工人的吃上。她开始憎恨泰特在城里大肆挥霍，饮酒、赌博、玩女人。泰特早就不干活了，导致肌肉已经松弛。要不是他发誓要夺走女儿，自己早就离开了。就是这句话让她害怕，所以才留了下来。

薇洛一直反复告诉自己，不管有多少悔恨，都应该随着泰特的下葬而尘封起来。可库珀一来，它们又跳了出来。就像她妈妈说的，是她自己选择嫁给泰特的。换句话说，自作还得自受。漫漫长夜，一人面对，独自消受。

在牧场上，库珀沿着破破烂烂的栅栏骑马过来，看见几处需要加固。农场有两块地，本该种满成熟的夏季草，可是被牧群踩踏了。薇洛的牧场大概养不下这么多牲口。

库珀翻身下了“传奇”，查看被啃得只剩下草根的冬季草场。其实，这片地里早就该重新撒播黑麦了。库珀站起身，一边眯缝着眼睛看着太阳，一边让抓在手里的泥土流过指间，随风撒落。他试着估测了一下土壤的肥瘠，看是否够牲口吃上一段时间，把膘长起来，好卖到最近的牲口围场。可能行，可能不行。

但凡他去过的得州南部农场，人们都在抱怨旱得太久。大概薇洛觉得播了种子长不出苗就等于烧钱。多亏她还有个池塘。库珀看得出，池塘的水源部分来自她说的那条小溪，但是池塘底下肯定还有开凿出的地下泉水，这样才能保障池中甜水常满——这是她所有牲口的生命线。

泰特才过世一年，整个农场竟破败到如此地步。可他转念一想，他有何权利在这儿评头品足？库珀责备自己。他不是让萨利一个人在那儿支撑着德拉蒙德三人农场嘛。薇洛也是一个人——还带了个小孩。

他来这里，误打误撞，碰上了薇洛。这事让他明白了一个道理，帮完薇洛，他就该回家了。至于呆多久，那还看薇洛愿意让他帮多久了。

她已经贴出告示，出售农场。她可能觉得农场坚持不了多久了，不想在它身上浪费太多钱。可哪怕小小的投资也会增加农场出手的机会。显然，她的问题正是没钱。不过如果她愿意雇用他这个帮手，那就另当别论了。库珀还得承认，他自己近来重拾了对薇洛的温情，薇洛可能没有。那是多年埋藏于心的感情。他们曾在一起度过多少开心的岁月，他想。对呀，薇洛不是说还没那么老嘛。看来，她还不失以前的幽默感。

莉莉贝尔吃饼干吃得脸上、身上到处都是。薇洛要给她打理，“快过来，宝贝。该冲凉喽。”

她又花了几分钟洗了自己的头发，吹干，这个过程中还一直告诉自己，她不是为了库珀才打扮的。“我们多漂亮呀，”她嚷嚷道，把女儿举到化妆镜前，梳理着女儿板栗色的卷发。她喜欢女儿的卷发恰到好处地披散在她小精灵般的脸上。薇洛自己的头发直直的，像根棍子，一点没特色，她通常都把它挽成马尾辫。

莉莉贝尔面无表情地瞪着眼睛，薇洛就亲着她三岁女儿的脖子，吹出一串串扑哧扑哧的声音，她希望女儿会自然而然咯咯地笑起来，或作出别的任何反应。可女儿只是推开妈妈的脸，抓起毛茸茸的兔子，那只她打小就喜欢的玩具，跑出了房间。薇洛听见纱门砰地关上了。她究竟能不能走进莉莉的内心？

薇洛闭了一下眼睛，双手捂着脸颊无力地往下拖，它们从没像这样凹陷瘦削过。她早已不施朱粉，化妆盒都不知扔到哪儿去了。薇洛把马尾上的橡皮筋再绕上一圈。她打理农场，化妆品帮不上忙的，动那心思干什么？她走出房间找女儿，她晓得女儿就在那儿，在门廊上，在她最喜欢去的角落里。

她光着脚丫还没迈出门，就看见库珀骑着大马来到了台阶。他翻身下马，离她咫尺之遥。薇洛红着脸，向后一退，撞在墙上。“抱歉，”库珀说着，上气不接下气，“我刚忙着看这片地，天要黑了，恐怕我来不及修水管，给水缸灌水了——哇，好香，”他说，“一股撒糖曲奇饼干味。”“香草味的，”她更正说，又往一侧退了几步，“是我的洗发水味。”

库珀皱起鼻子，“我不怪你躲着我。我在太阳底下已经呆了几个小时了。我应该在水塘里洗一下的。”“你还来得及。夏天这儿天色暗得晚。除了修水管，还有别的事要做吗？”她问道。“整个农场一团糟，这不用我跟你说吧。”库珀取下帽子，用手梳理了汗水湿透的头发，近乎黑色的发卷立在手指外，“雇个得力的牧牛工，什么活都能上手，可以让你的农场大变样。你得雇个能喷漆，能修栅栏，能给牛群壮膘，能驯服高地牧场上的野马驹子的帮手。顺便提一句，这高地牧场最需要撒播种子了。这些活得要三四周时间，不过这都是些能快速吸引买家的活。”“三到四周？”薇洛倒吸口气，用手握住喉咙，“不行。我根本付不起工钱。我要赶快出手，不然，我就得赶紧卖掉牲口。这个想法我早就有了，这农场就丢给银行算了。”“然后你怎么办呢，薇洛？回到你妈妈那儿吗？我知道我离开那年，你父亲过世。当时我的竞技时间已经订好了。”他含糊道，补上了这句迟到的安慰。“至少，老爹现在不受罪了。还有，我不能搬到妈妈那里去。她再婚了。她的朋友介绍的。他们住在东得州的皮内伍兹。那些年，她边照顾父亲边打两份工，坚持了那么久。她真该快快乐乐地享受生活了。我不能拖累她。”“你好像照料你爹的时间更多些吧。一旦农场收拾得干净利索了就事半功倍了。你要没地方可去……”他拽住自己一只耳朵，拖长了嗓音。“库珀，我得种点什么东西让农场给我生财。”她说，“可我没那能力。我没钱买种子。起码我要有一份工作，它可以给我足够的时间陪着莉莉贝尔，这是我的底线。我们需要搬到城里，有智障儿童服务的地方，”她说着，眼神移到小孩身上，她正躲在门廊的一个角落，摇晃着身子。“我女儿有自闭症。”薇洛平静地说。她转过脸去，可库珀还是看见她的嘴唇明显在颤抖。

Chapter Three

Coop's mind jolted, then went into free fall as he tried to process what Willow had just said. Would telling her he was sorry sound too trivial? Man, he hurt for her. Hurt also for the shy child who looked perfect, though petite for her age. Some part of that initial jolt came from hearing the child's name. Lilybelle. It was a name Willow had talked about when she and Cooper were serious. What she'd wanted to name their daughter if they ever had one. Lily for Coop's mother, and Belle for Willow's.

Coop was quite sure Willow named her daughter without informing Tate of the name's origins. Tate had no doubt left it up to her, as his own parents had separated in a bitter divorce before Willow moved to Hondo. But Coop let all of those issues pass without comment. Instead, he focused on the child's condition.

"Lord, Willow, it must be extra-difficult for you, knowing how hard it was to care for your dad all those years," he managed, his sympathetic gaze resting on the child. "I noticed she was shy with strangers, but I figured it was because you were protective of her, since you live way out of town and have no close neighbors."

"About the work that needs doing around here," Willow said, crossing her arms and getting back to business. "I can afford to pay you for two days' labor. The fence is probably the most important. I thought maybe you could set some of the posts deeper?"

Coop shifted his attention back to Willow. "With our history, I can't in good conscience charge you a dime."

She stiffened. It was plain at the outset that she intended to refuse. Coop wasn't surprised when she said, "I pay my way. I don't need your charity."

"Okay." He held up his hands. "I won't argue with you. I've got the time. You need a few things done. Pay me for fixing the fence. Then we'll see about doing the rest for room and board."

A wide range of emotions flitted across Willow's face before her too-thin shoulders sagged. "I'll agree to those terms provided you're okay with mine. You'll bunk in the barn, and I'll set breakfast and a sack lunch out on the porch. And the same with supper. If you want the night meal hot, be here to pick it up by seven. I have a hard-and-fast rule that no ranch hands are allowed inside my home. Ever."

"So I heard," Coop drawled, mentally kicking himself for not going with his first impulse of hightailing it out of there the moment he discovered who the widow was. It irked him that there was no trust between them, despite the fact that they'd once shared every intimacy. He wondered when she'd grown so hard and closed off. Granted, her life had never been a cakewalk, what with having an invalid father, and a mother who was never at home because she worked two jobs. But, hell, they'd been lovers, and now she was leery of letting him step inside her ramshackle house. Telling himself the sooner he blew through the chores and left her place, the better, Coop slapped his hat against his leg, bounded down the steps and scooped up the reins.

"Tonight's supper will be macaroni and cheese," Willow called. "We have that a lot because it's Lilybelle's favorite. I'll set out a covered plate in about an hour."

He gave a curt nod, then led his horse, Legend, away. He found it hard to be curt. Willow talked big, but she looked defenseless, standing there hunched, one bare foot tucked beneath the other. Willow and her delicate child, who'd stared at Coop out of big, wounded eyes.

In the barn, he asked himself again what he was getting into as he jerkily unsaddled his horse, but he shook off the thought, and set to work shoveling out two stalls for his animals. The barn was a mess he'd wait until morning to fully deal with.

He decided to sleep out under the stars that night, where it smelled better. And speaking of smelling better... He dragged the partially repaired hose behind the barn and did his best to fix up a makeshift shower, glad there wasn't anyone around to see him hop around or hear him curse the icy water. At least the shocking cold neutralized his lingering anger over Willow's standoffishness.

The shower made him late to pick up his dinner. It was nearly eight o'clock, but he was hungry enough to scarf down the congealed cheesy macaroni, and be thankful for it. The vegetable—zucchini—was less appetizing, but it helped fill the hole in his stomach. After he finished, he rinsed his plate and left it where he'd found it.

In the morning, he saw Willow and Lilybelle crossing the field that flanked the house. They disappeared over a rise, making no effort to contact him. No big surprise there.

Coop scavenged through the toolshed that sat adjacent to the barn, searching for what he'd need to mend the fences and shovel out the barn. He was astounded that the shed and tack room were both devoid of any of the tools one would expect to find on a ranch.

NOT CATCHING WILLOW at the house or elsewhere on the property for two days, Coop made do with the hammers, pliers and crowbar he carried in his pickup.

Like clockwork, his meals appeared on the porch outside the door. They proved to be as meager as the grain boxes Willow should have filled to begin fattening her steers for market. Coop didn't want to track her down and complain about the lack of anything resembling meat in any of his meals when it was clear that times were tough. Breakfast was usually pancakes, lunch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and supper, a noodle dish with tomato sauce or white gravy.

Cooper was fed up by day three. By then it was readily apparent that Willow intended to pull out all the stops to avoid him, or send him away completely. At breakfast she'd set out an envelope with two days' pay in it and a note thanking him for his help. With that, he fired up his pickup and headed into town to hunt up a good restaurant and a feed store. He left the envelope full of cash where it was.

Not caring that it was barely ten o'clock in the morning, Coop went into a busy local café and ordered a steak with all the trimmings. Satisfied, he paid and gave the waitress a good tip. "Can you direct me to the closest feed store?" Coop asked her.

"Hank Jordan's is the only feed store serving our area," she said, drawing him a rough map on a napkin.

Coop arrived at the feed store to find Hank himself behind the counter.

"I'm doing some work for Willow Walker," Coop said. "I need twenty sacks of grain, two hundred-foot hoses and rye seed for a couple of fifty-acre fields. I assume Mrs. Walker runs a tab for essentials?"

"You assume wrong," Hank said, peering at Coop over a pair of wire-rimmed half-glasses. "You the latest of her part-timers? Last two guys came in and bought mash for their horses. Don't see much of the widow. Now, her husband was a piece of work. Had an excessive taste for gambling and booze, but he never seemed short of money. The missus rarely came to town, but when she did, she paid cash."

Coop frowned. "I'm actually an old friend of Mrs. Walkers. I haven't seen her since before she married Tate, but her ranch is a little the worse for wear, and I want to help her out."

"If you ask me, she shoulda left that no-good husband of hers a long time ago, but she stuck it out. You know how people in small towns talk. Well, I've heard from more than one source that while she was pregnant, she was seen with bruises. My wife, who sometimes cashiers here, said she noticed, and asked, but was told they came from working cattle. No one bought that story. And no one held any liking for her man, who bragged that his dad, supposedly a wealthy rancher up north, bought him this ranch and stocked it with prime steers. If you and the widow go back a ways, you probably know more about the family than I do. One thing I thought was odd—after the big brawl where Walker was accidentally shot, his father swooped into town, claimed his son's body, and took him elsewhere to be buried. I figured he hasn't been providing for Mrs. Walker 'cause she's been selling furniture and tools for grocery money and to replenish her kettle ever since the funeral. I hope you're what you say—a friend—and it don't make things worse for her that I'm telling tales out of school."

"No, no," Coop stammered. "I appreciate the information. I'll pay for the stuff I ordered. While you're at it, if there's room in my pickup out there to add six bales of hay, pile it on."

After his pickup was loaded, Coop backtracked to the area's big-box store, which sold a little of everything. He was frustrated to think that, given their history, Willow hadn't come clean with him about her true circumstances.

Forty minutes later, he came out with enough bags of groceries to fill the passenger side of his Ram. He fumed all the way back to Willow's ranch, telling himself it was no wonder she looked as skinny as the branches on the tree for which she was named.

On pulling into the driveway, he saw that her front door was open, except for the screen. Coop jumped out and quickly unloaded the many bags of groceries, transferring them to the porch. When he finished, he knocked loudly on the screen door casing, making a racket that brought Willow running.

"Cooper, what on earth?" She wiped her hands on a dish towel and unlatched the screen. "I thought you'd taken off without the pay I set out for you, but then I realized you'd left your horses and trailer behind. What's all this?" She swept a hand over the sacks of groceries, bending to pull Lilybelle back when she wriggled through the narrow opening.

Coop stood there holding two more large sacks. Pushing open the screen with one foot, he thrust them into Willow's arms. "I went to the feed store and tried to put a few items on your tab. Imagine my surprise," he said tightly, "when the owner said you don't run a tab, and only buy supplies when you have the cash. Seeing as how you've been feeding me the equivalent of rice and beans all week, I suggest it's time you were candid with me about what's really going on here." He didn't mean to sound gruff but couldn't help it. He grabbed up two of the heavier boxes and steamrolled into the house, stomping on into the kitchen ahead of her.

Coop let her stew silently while he brought in the remaining groceries. "Well," he said, opening the almost- empty fridge to shove in three gallons of milk and a variety of other perishables. "Start spilling your guts."

Willow braced her hands on the grocery-covered countertop. Appearing anxious, she sputtered and ended by saying defensively, "I never lied to you, Cooper. Everything I said was the truth. I told you Tate died last year, but I assumed you already knew. I admitted the ranch is too much work. And I do have it listed for sale. But what's to be gained by airing Tate's and my dirty laundry to you, of all people?"

"Why me of all people?" Coop asked, barely pausing as he opened cupboard doors and filled the shelves with cereal, bread, rice and various staples.

"Because of... oh, just because," she said, throwing up her hands. "Like you've never made a mistake in your life."

He laughed. "According to my brother I've made plenty. I sold my quarter horses, and I pissed away almost all of what I earned on the rodeo circuit."

"But you didn't—you don't—have a family to support. It's different for you, Coop," she said, her lips in a tight line.

"Tell me how." He merely stared at her, waiting.

Willow sank down on a kitchen chair and laced her hands together in front of her. Faking interest in her fingernails, she whispered, "With what you've been privy to these past few days, I'm reasonably sure you've guessed that while Tate liked being seen as a ranch owner, he disliked the work required to actually run a ranch."

"And... he lost valuable ranch profits playing poker?"

Willow opened her clasped hands to let Lilybelle climb onto her lap. Heaving a sigh, she mumbled into her daughter's hair, "Yes. Tate fancied himself a gambler. The truth is, he lost far more than he ever won. Money was always tight."

"Did you do all the work around here so he could gamble?"

She shook her head. "The bulk of what I've done was after his death. Before, his dad bought into Tate's lies about hardships. Rustlers.Sickcattle. Endless droughts. Bart got into the habit of sending a check the first of every month."

"He didn't come to evaluate things for himself?"

"No. Bart doesn't deal well with women. He didn't want Tate to marry me. They spoke on the phone... when his son was sober. Tate's other weakness was booze. The last two years, he drank a lot. I made sure I beat him to the mailbox so I could bank Bart's checks and pay Lily's doctor bills, pay for her tests and buy food before Tate emptied our account. I don't think he knew how much his dad sent, or that I forged his name on the checks to deposit them." She lowered her eyes to avoid Coop's laser stare, and reluctantly gave up the last bit of information. "It's been harder since Tate's death. Bart quit sending money."

"What did he expect you to do? How did he expect you to clothe and feed his grandchild?"

"Bart ignores the fact that Lily and I exist. His wife ran off, so he thinks the worst of all women. And Tate lied to him a lot."

"Bart's a jerk. He can afford to help you."

"Yes, well, I applied for Aid for Families with Dependent Children, and for food stamps," she said. "But because I had the ranch and still owned cattle, we didn't qualify—not even for farm subsidy because I wasn't growing crops to sell. But we got by," she said, squaring her shoulders.

"Right," Coop said huffily. "Selling the tools necessary for a working ranch. And furniture out of your house, I hear," he said, taking a brisk survey of the kitchen before stepping over to the doorway to check the living room. "And as if that wasn't bad enough, I heard he hit you."

"Great! So the town busybodies shared every crappy detail of my life. Well, I didn't ask you to ride in here on a white charger and save us, Cooper Drummond. We aren't your problem," she said coolly. "I put out two days' wages for you. So now you can take off. If you give me an address when you land at your next job, I'll send you repayment money for the groceries. I don't want you concerning yourself with us any longer."

"Bull! That was a nice little speech, Willow. Do you by any chance remember what you said to me right before I went to rodeo?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can it be repeated in front of a child?" She moved to place her hands over her daughter's ears. "I probably said a lot of mean things, Cooper. I didn't want you to go. I felt... cut adrift, and I couldn't understand why you'd choose to go off and ride in rodeos."

"You never asked me to stay. What you said as I left, was that I was the most stubborn, pigheaded guy you'd ever had the misfortune to meet."

"I didn't want to... hold you back," she persisted. Then, noticing he'd pulled a large box of graham crackers out of a sack, she met his eyes. "Graham crackers? How did you know they're Lily's favorite snack? We'd run out of them," she added, biting her lip.

"I had no idea, Willow. I figured all kids like them."

For the first time since barging into her house, Coop felt self-conscious. "Hey, I bought Miss Lilybelle something else. I almost forgot." He snapped his fingers. "If you think it's okay for her to have these." He pulled out a cloth bag tied closed with a drawstring. "Blocks," he said. "They're big, bright colorful ones. You can use them to teach her numbers and letters." He tumbled several blocks onto the table.

"Oh, Coop." Willow choked up, unable to manage anything else for a moment. She drew her chair closer to the table and started to hand a block to Lilybelle, then saw that the child had beaten her to it, grabbing one in each hand. In the blink of an eye, Lily sorted and stacked all the blocks lying on the table by color.

"Look at that, will you?" Coop grinned as he dumped out the rest of them.

"I'm amazed." Willow gaped at the girl. "I hadn't tried blocks. I... Coop, thank you. I've been really rude to you and you're nothing but nice to me."

"I want to stay here and finish some of the other things on your to-do list. Don't make a big deal out of it, Willow. I saw the blocks while I was out and thought of the kid. I bought the groceries because I'd like to eat something besides the same old pasta disguised in a variety of thin sauces."

Willow stood Lily on her feet, then rose to glare at Coop. "Those meals weren't that bad. And my sauces aren't thin."

"But you are. So I rest my case."

Willow tossed her head. "Back when you took off for the rodeo, did I also tell you that you're the bossiest person I'd ever met?"

"Not that I recall. I think I'm very reasonable."

"Bossy! I'm not going to be your short-order cook, Coop. But since you were so kind as to fill my fridge and cupboards, pray tell me what your heart desires for your evening meal," she said saucily.

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't buy this stuff to make your life more difficult, Willow. You choose something out of what I bought. But please, put a little meat in whatever you fix." He headed for the door, then stopped. "Uh, you haven't become a vegetarian, have you? The way I remember it, you used to make a tasty pot roast. Oh, and burgers. Nice, fat ones." He gathered up the empty grocery sacks and carried them to the screen door. Calling back over his shoulder, he said, "And meat loaf. You made a damn fine meat loaf, Willow."

Willow wasn't quick enough with a retort, though he probably wouldn't have heard, anyway, as the screen door banged shut in his wake. She leaned a shoulder against the edge of the kitchen doorway. For several minutes she did nothing. It wasn't until she shook herself alert that she realized she'd been smiling. Something she hadn't done much of over the past several years. It felt unfamiliar. But good, too, she thought as she turned and saw that Lily had stacked the blocks in neat rows, not only by color, but with the letters all facing the refrigerator. Willow's heart nearly burst with hope and pride and gratitude to Coop. Lord, he was a good man.

So, why did she want him to leave? Why did she feel such guilt over his landing on her doorstep? She had plenty of answers, but she needed to keep them to herself. Anything else would be unfair to the man she'd pushed out of her life five years ago.

第三章

库珀琢磨着薇洛的话，不觉一震，如坠深渊。要是向她表示同情，会显得微不足道吗？哎，他真为她感到难过，也为羞怯的孩子难过。孩子看上去好好的，就是个头小点。最初的震动部分是因为听到小孩的名字“莉莉贝尔”。这个名字是他们当初谈婚论嫁时说好的。如果他们生了女儿的话，就叫这个名字。莉莉代表库珀的妈妈，“贝尔”是薇洛的妈妈的名字。

库珀敢肯定，薇洛给女儿取名时，没告诉泰特名字的来由。泰特让薇洛自己拿主意，因为在薇洛搬到洪多前，泰特的父母就吵得不可开交，后来就离婚了。可库珀丢开了这些话茬，只去关心孩子的状况。“天哪，薇洛，这些年你一直照顾你的父亲，不知有多难，”他勉强说着，怜惜的眼光落在了孩子身上，“我看得出，她在生人面前胆怯，但我以为是你过于保护她了，因为你们住得离镇上远，没有要好的邻居。”“至于农场上要干的活，”薇洛打断他的话，两手交叉抱怀，回到正题，“我只能付得起你两天的工钱。栅栏或许是最要紧的。我看，你可以把桩打得再深些吗？”

库珀把注意力转回到薇洛身上，“就咱俩的情分，我一个铜子都不收，否则良心过不去。”

她一下僵住了。很明显，她打算拒绝他。她讲出这样的话时，库珀不觉得惊讶，“我靠我自己。我不要你的施舍。”“行，”库珀举起双手，“我不跟你争。我有时间。你现在有几样活需要做，先付给我修栅栏的工钱，再说食宿的问题。”

五味杂陈的感情掠过她的面庞，薇洛瘦削的肩松弛了，“我同意你说的，不过你也得答应我的条件。你睡在棚里，早餐、午餐我会搁在门廊上，你如果晚餐要吃热的，七点前来这儿取。我有条牢不可破的规矩，工人绝不能进屋。绝不能。”“早有耳闻，”库珀拖长声音，在心里骂自己当初发现寡妇是谁时没有跟随第一反应赶紧溜掉。他俩曾经亲密无间，可如今没有信任可言，这让他痛心。他不明白，她何时心肠变得这么硬，这么不近人情。没错，她的生活从来都不容易，父亲残疾，母亲因为打两份工常年不在家。可是该死，他们曾两情相悦，如今她却对他心存芥蒂，不让他踏进她那个破房子半步，叫他赶紧把这点活干了，早点走人。库珀拿帽子一拍大腿，跳下台阶，抓起缰绳。“今晚吃通心粉和奶酪，”薇洛喊道，“我们经常吃这个，因为莉莉贝尔最喜欢。一个小时左右，我会把盘子罩着放在这儿。”

他匆忙点了下头，牵着他的马“传奇”走了。他觉得自己很难跟她去计较、去生气。薇洛，别看她说话挺冲，其实一脸的无助，驼着背站在那儿，一只赤脚踩着另一只。薇洛和她瘦弱的孩子睁着受伤的大眼睛望着库珀。

在棚里，他一边忙着卸鞍，一边又问自个儿，这到底是图什么，但是他打断了思绪，着手给他的马腾出了两个马厩。棚里乱得一塌糊涂，得等明天早上才能收拾利落。

他决定直接睡在外面，那儿没什么怪味。说起怪味……他把修理过的水管从棚后面拖过来，将就着弄了个临时的淋浴。还好，周围没人看他在那儿直跳，没人听见他在那儿骂水冷得刺骨。薇洛冷冰冰的样子让他怒气难平，至少这刺骨的冷水可以冲淡他的火气。

冲凉耽搁了他取晚餐。快八点了，奶酪通心粉已凝固了，可他饥肠辘辘，狼吞虎咽地吃下了肚，还真解饿。搭配的蔬菜绿皮西葫芦不那么可口，但填肚子蛮管用。他吃完饭，涮了碗，把它放回了原处。

早上，他见到薇洛和莉莉贝尔穿过屋旁的一片地，没跟他打招呼的意思，就消失在山冈不见人影了。这还真是见怪不怪了。

库珀打扫了牲口棚旁边的工具房，准备找工具维修栅栏，再把棚屋清理了。可他真没想到，但凡普通农场都能找到的工具，这儿一件都没有。

都两天了，他就没见着薇洛的人影。库珀从自己的车上取来锤子、钳子和铁锹对付着用。

他的饭总是放在门外的门廊上，时间像钟一样准。可饭菜没什么油水，就像薇洛空空的谷物箱，那里本该装有满满的谷物去养肥牛群上市去卖。库珀没想去找她，然后跟她叨叨饭菜里肉影子都见不到。是呀，日子艰难。早餐吃的多是薄煎饼，午餐总是花生酱加果冻三明治，晚饭，一碗番茄酱面或肉汁面。

到了第三天，库珀吃厌了。显然，薇洛也打算一门心思地躲着他，要不就是要把他赶走了事。早餐时，她在门廊上放了个信封，里面有两天的工钱，还有个字条，说了些感谢他相助的话。随后，他发动车子向镇上开去，打算找家好饭馆和饲料库。至于装满钱的信封，他原封不动地留在那儿了。

现在还不到十点，库珀管不了许多，进了家当地生意好的小餐馆，要了个什锦牛排。他解了馋，买了单，付给招待足足的小费，问道，“劳驾，附近哪家饲料库离这儿最近？”“汉克·乔丹饲料库，这一片就此一家。”她说着，一边在餐巾纸上给他画了个草图。

库珀找到了店铺，汉克在店里。“我在给薇洛·沃克干活，”库珀说，“我要二十袋谷粒，两百英尺软管和几袋够五十英亩地撒播的黑麦种子。我想，沃克太太平时买这些是签单吧？”“你猜错了，”汉克说着，眼光掠过金属包边的半圆形眼镜，盯着库珀，“你是刚来的短工吧？之前有两个小伙子来过，给他们的马买饲料。寡妇来这儿少。不过，她丈夫本事不小。沉迷赌博，好酒，还从不差钱。他太太很少来镇上，来了买东西也是付现钱。”

库珀皱皱眉，“我本来是沃克太太的老朋友，打她和泰特结婚我们就没见过面。可她那农场管理得太差了，我想帮她一把。”“要我说，她早该离开那没用的老公，可她硬要撑着。你知道，这小镇上风言风语传得快。我可是听到好多人说，她怀孩子的时候身上伤痕累累的。我老婆有时在这儿收钱，看见她身上的伤，就问过她。可她说是牲口弄的。可谁信啦。大家对那男的没什么好感，老是成天把他爹挂在嘴上，据说他爹是个北方的大农场主，给他置了这块农场，买了膘肥体壮的牲口。你和寡妇不是老友嘛，敢情你比我还知情。不过，有件事倒怪怪的——沃克卷入一场争斗，被意外打死之后，他父亲很快就来到镇上，认领了尸体，弄到别的地方埋了。我估摸，他没给沃克太太提供生活费，因为打葬礼后，她就在卖家具、卖农具维持生计。我呀，倒真希望像你说的，你是她的——一个朋友——我在这里多嘴多舌的，不会坏她的事吧。”“哪里哪里，不会，”库珀支支吾吾道，“谢您啦，给我说这么多情况。这些我来付吧。你忙，要是车里还有空间，我再买六捆干草。”

货装好了，库珀把车倒到旁边的一家零售店，那儿卖的货挺齐全。他想起他和薇洛昔日的交情，可她在他面前还藏着掖着，他的气就不打一处来。

四十分钟后，他抱着一包又一包的食品杂货，塞满了皮卡车另一边的座位。他一路气冲冲地开回到薇洛的农场，自言自语地说，难怪她瘦成皮包骨，就像她名字一样，杨柳细腰。

车一进私家车道，库珀就见前门开着，纱门关着。库珀跳下车，忙着卸下一袋一袋的副食杂货搬到门廊。搬运完了，他猛敲打纱门门框。听见砰砰作响的敲打声，薇洛一路跑来开门。“库珀，到底怎么回事？”她在洗碗布上擦擦手，打开门栓，“我以为你是没拿工钱就走了，可看到你的马和拖车还在。这些是什么意思？”她用手扫过一袋袋的食品杂货，弯腰拉住从狭窄的门缝里往外挤的莉莉贝尔。

库珀站着，手里还拿着两大袋。一只脚把门推开，他把袋子塞到薇洛怀里，“我去了饲料店，想添置几样东西记在你账上。你想不到我有多吃惊，”他语气生硬地说，“店老板说你不在那儿签单拿货，买东西都是拿现钱。再看看这一周你给我吃的这些米呀豆类的饭食。我说，你是不是该给我交个底，你这里到底是什么状况。”他不想话里带出脾气，可还是憋不住。他抓住两个更沉一点的盒子，将它们滚进屋里，绕过薇洛踢进厨房。

直到库珀把剩下的食品搬完，薇洛都被晾在一边闷声不响，“好了，”他说着，打开几乎空荡荡的冰箱，放进三加仑牛奶和各式各样的冷藏食品，“给我说点掏心窝的实在话吧。”

薇洛的手放在堆满食品的台面上。她神色焦虑，噼里啪啦地说了一通，最后辩解道，“库珀，我从没对你撒谎。我说的都是实情。我说了，泰特去年过世了，我想这你早知道了。我承认，农场需要做的活太多，而我也登记了准备出手。可我有必要把泰特和我的那点丑事偏偏抖给你呢？这样有什么好处？”“什么叫偏偏抖给我？”库珀问道，一边打开橱柜门，往里塞麦片、面包、米和其他主食。“因为……因为那个，”她说着，一摆双手，“好像你这辈子就没出过差错一样。”

他笑了，“要我哥说的话，我都错得没谱了。我卖了夸特马，竞技赛赢的几个钱也挥霍得差不多了。”“可你以前不用，现在也不用养家糊口。库珀，这就不一样了。”她说着，抿住嘴唇。“你说，哪点不一样，”他直盯着她，等她开口。

薇洛坐到厨房的椅子上，双手相握，假装看着自己的指甲，低声道，“这几天你也打听了点消息，我能肯定你也猜到了，泰特虽说喜欢别人叫他农场主，可他不喜欢管理农场。”“他……还玩牌，把农场赚的钱输掉了？”

薇洛松开手，让莉莉贝尔爬到她膝盖上，叹口气，低头对着女儿的头发，嘟囔道，“是啊，泰特老以为自己会赌博，可实际上输的比赢的多得多。我们在经济上总是捉襟见肘。”“你在这儿干活，然后他好有钱去赌吗？”

她摇摇头，“农场这摊子活是他死后我才弄的。泰特的父亲信了他说的经营艰难的谎话，什么牛被偷啦，牲口病啦，没完没了的干旱啦。巴特每月第一天都会寄张支票过来。”“他就没自己过来证实吗？”“没有。巴特自己婚姻不幸。他不想泰特娶我，他们打电话说过……他儿子没喝酒脑子清醒的时候。泰特还有个毛病，酗酒。近两年他酗酒。我必须抢先一步去邮局，再去银行把巴特支票上的钱存起来，用来开销莉莉贝尔的医药费、检查费，买吃的。要不然，他会花光、用光。他弄不清楚他爸寄给他多少，也不知道我假冒他的签名去存了钱。”她双眼低垂，躲开库珀犀利的目光，不情愿地透露了最后一点信息，“泰特死后，日子更苦了。巴特不再寄钱了。”“他让你自己想办法吗？你能有什么办法来养活他的孙女？”“巴特不管，全当莉莉贝尔和我不存在一样。他的妻子跑了，所以他认为天下女人都坏。还有，泰特把他也骗得够狠的。”“巴特就是个混蛋。他明明有能力帮你们。”“哎，是呀，我申请过有子女家庭补助救济金和食品救济劵，”她说，“可我有这农场，还饲养牛群，还没资格申请——甚至没资格申请农场补助金，因为地里没种着要卖的庄稼。反正我们也凑合着过来了。”她说道，耸耸肩。“那倒是，”库珀怒气冲冲地说，“我听说你把农场干活用的工具都卖了，屋里的家具也弄去卖了。”他先快速地扫视了一圈厨房，然后走到门口看了看客厅。“这还不算糟糕吗？我还听说他打你。”“够了。镇上那些喜欢嚼舌的，闲了就在那磨叨我这点破事。库珀·德拉蒙德，我可没请你到这儿来充什么英雄好汉，救我们于水火之中。别插手我们的事了，”她淡淡地说，“我付你这两天的工钱，你可以走了。等你找到新的活计了给我个地址，我会把这些食品杂货的钱寄给你。我不想你再管我们的事了。”“你牛！说得精彩，薇洛。不知你还记不记得我去竞技赛前，你对我说什么来着？”

她翻了翻白眼，“要在孩子面前说这些吗？”她用手捂住女儿的耳朵，“我或许说了不少薄情寡义的话。我那是激你的，是不想你走。我感觉……感觉自己一下子孤零零的，无依无靠。我就是不明白，你为什么要去竞技赛。”“你从没要我留下。临走时，你说了，今生今世最大的不幸就是遇到我这个脾气最倔、最笨的家伙。”“我不想……拖了你的后腿，”她坚持说。见他从袋子里拿出一盒全麦酥饼，两人的目光相遇了，“全麦酥饼？你怎么知道莉莉贝尔最爱吃这个？家里的已经吃完了，”她补了句，咬着嘴唇。“薇洛，我不晓得莉莉喜欢。我猜小孩都喜欢。”

从闯入房间到现在，库珀第一次觉得难为情，“嘿，差点忘了，我给莉莉贝尔还买了个东西。”他打了个响指，“你觉得她可以玩这些吗？”他拉出一个绳子绑口的布袋。“积木，”他说，“这些积木块大，颜色鲜艳漂亮，可以用它们来教她学数字、字母。”他稀里哗啦把几个积木倒在了桌上。“哦，库珀。”薇洛哽咽，一时又不知道说什么好。她把椅子往前挪，靠近桌子，伸出手想拿个积木给孩子，不曾想孩子比她手脚还快，一手抓一个。眨眼工夫，莉莉就把桌上的积木按颜色堆叠好了。“快瞧瞧。”库珀咧嘴笑了，把剩下的积木全倒在桌上。“太神奇了。”薇洛望着女儿，目瞪口呆，“我没给她试过积木。我……库珀，我得谢谢你。我之前对你确实太粗鲁了，可你对我总是那么好。”“我想留下，再多干点活。薇洛，你也别往深处想。我出去买东西的时候正好看到积木，想到孩子就买了。买这些食品是因为我想换换口味，不想老吃那些面食，还有那些没多少油水的酱。就这么简单。”

薇洛让莉莉自己站在地上，抬头瞪着库珀，“我的饭菜没你说的那么差。酱汁也不是那么没油水。”“但你还说得上有油水呀。好，我愿意停止对本案的辩论。”

薇洛摇摇头，“当初你离开去参加竞技赛的时候，我还说过什么来着，你是我遇到过的最霸道的人？”“这我倒想不起来了。我觉得我挺讲理的。”“是霸道吧！这快餐厨师我还不当了。不过谁让你这么好心，冰箱、橱柜塞得满满的。请悉开尊口，晚上要吃什么。”她打趣道。

他眼睛翻了翻，“薇洛，我买这些不是要你为难。你随便弄点什么都行。只是请你在菜里搁点肉。”他朝门走，又停住脚，“喂，你还没变成素食者吧？我还记得你以前做的炖肉，味道那个美呀。啊，还有汉堡包，美味可口、油滋滋的汉堡包。”他拿起空的食品袋，往门口去，又回头补了句，“你当时还做肉面包。薇洛，你做的肉面那才真叫好吃。”

薇洛一时找不到话回敬他，可门已砰的一声关上，说他也白搭。她的肩倚着厨房门边，愣在那儿有几分钟。等她回过神啦，发觉自己竟在笑。近几年，她都没怎么笑过，笑的感觉对她是那么生疏。可她回头一看，莉莉已经按颜色把积木堆好了，一排一排，清清爽爽，字母朝着冰箱。这感觉真爽。薇洛的心迸发着希望、自豪，洋溢着对库珀的感激。老天，他真是个好男人。

那她为何要他离开这里？为何他踏上她的台阶就让她感到如此深重的负罪感？她有太多的答案，但她需要把它们埋在心里。五年前，她把这个男人推出了她的生活，如今对他有任何的要求都是对他的不公。

Chapter Four

The back of Cooper's pickup still needed to be unloaded. Feeling he'd made some headway in dealing with Willow, Coop whistled a decent rendition of Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville." It was a catchy tune he liked to pick out on his guitar—which was stashed behind the Ram's backseat. Maybe he'd take it up to the porch tonight and play a little after supper. Willow and Lilybelle might like that.

While he was at the big-box store, he'd cruised through the book and magazine department, and spotted a health magazine containing a couple of articles on autism. He'd skimmed one to see if it'd give him any insight into Willow's daughter. One article, written by a parent of an autistic boy, mentioned that he responded positively to piano tunes. The kid was quite a bit older than Lily; he owned a CD player and an iPod, on which his parents downloaded music for him. Coop bought the magazine, since he wanted to do more than just skim both articles. The other one was written by a neurologist, and it looked informative. He was trying to understand more about the illness. Or was it called a condition? A disorder? He wasn't even sure what to call it. Not that Willow would welcome him sticking his nose into her family business. She used to be so open and talkative. Now she kept anything personal to herself. He'd had to drag the story on Tate out of her, even though it was common knowledge in town.

Thinking about Tate ruined Coop's mood. Physical labor was the best for flushing any thoughts of that jerk right out of his mind.

He unloaded the hay bales, breaking a couple open and spreading them around the stalls in the barn where he'd stabled his horses. He filled a third one, where he'd bed down now that the old barn smelled better. Fresher.

Too bad he didn't have access to a tractor so he could haul the feed sacks out to the feed troughs. Hoisting one up onto his shoulder and jogging it over to where the majority of the steers milled about, it occurred to him that when he'd finished this chore he might be too tired to eat. The work took him until late afternoon. The thought of having to repeat this every day until Willow's cattle fattened up was almost enough to make him rethink staying around. No wonder Willow looked like a toothpick if she was the one who hauled hay to her herd. He had to hand it to her. She had grit.

Back at the pickup, he dusted off and eyed the sacks of seed he'd bought to resow the two main fields for fall. Was it even worth doing? A closer inspection of what passed for an irrigation system was discouraging. All the sprinkler heads were rusted or corroded, and a few were missing. And the job of spreading the seed, which—given the size of her fields—ought to take a matter of hours, would probably take days, thanks to the absence of a tractor and spreader. He'd seen a hand-broadcaster in the barn. Standing with his forearms draped on the side of the pickup bed, he recalled all the up-to-date equipment owned by the Triple D. Coop calculated the unlikelihood of Sully's lending him a tractor, plow, spreader and harrow for a few days. Plus he'd need one of the Triple D's flatbed trucks and trailers to bring it down here from Hondo. About a hundred miles each way. He slapped his hat against his thigh and snorted in disgust. It was a pipe dream. He'd have to apologize for socking Sullivan, if not actually grovel for leaving their ranch in the lurch for five years. Groveling didn't come easy to him. And that punch to Sully's jaw had been a long time coming.

Coop squinted into the waning sun. He wasn't ready to swallow his pride and kiss Sully's boots yet. It'd take more than a few days of backbreaking work to get him in that frame of mind.

He stacked the bags of seed outside the barn, rinsed out the bed of his truck, then took the hose around back, where he washed off the day's grime and sweat. He had only two more clean sets of clothes in his duffel. He should have taken his laundry to town when he went. He'd seen Willow hanging their clothes on a line out back, so she must not own a dryer. He'd hunt up a Laundromat in the next day or so.

The smell of the evening meal wafting down to the barn reached Coop half an hour prior to the time Willow had told him his meals would be waiting for him. He knew before he tucked in his shirt, pulled on his boots and retrieved his guitar for the trek to the house that she was fixing her signature meat loaf....

Coop had shared enough of the meals Willow had fixed for her father to identify the aroma. He'd hung out after school sometimes, talking rodeo with her dad. She almost never came to his house. They were three men living alone and her mom didn't think it was proper.

Coop's mouth was watering long before he bounded up the steps of Willow's porch.

She was just setting out the covered plate on an orange crate next to the door.

"Oh, Cooper, here you are. I saw you packing a lot of feed out to the cattle. I was worried you'd be late and would have to eat reheated supper. Hey, let me bring out a chair so you can take a load off while you eat. You must be exhausted from everything you did today. Those feed sacks weigh a ton. It's why I haven't tried to fatten up the steers."

Coop propped his guitar case against the porch railing. "The thought of a good meal brought me running, Willow. I've been tortured by the smell of your meat loaf from about the time it went into your oven. Tantalized is a better word," he added quickly, catching the look of dismay that crossed her face.

"Here I figured I'd surprise you...."

Coop picked up the plate and removed the cover. "It looks as delicious as I remember. And fresh peas in their pods. And cornbread. You exceeded my wildest expectations, Willow."

She chuckled, and he noticed a dimple he remembered well, one he hadn't seen since his arrival. All too fast, though, she blushed and retreated into the house.

"Wait," he called, unable to stop himself. "Why don't you bring out plates for you and Lily, too? We'll call it a picnic."

Willow didn't respond immediately and Coop couldn't see through the screen into the darkened house. But then she cracked it open and said, "Lily's already eaten. She only likes a few foods right now." Willow glanced away. "That's part of her disorder. Some forms of autism have an obsessive component. For instance, she'll like one food, one shirt, one pair of pajamas, and it's a battle to get her to change. Today she dug in the dirt the whole time I weeded what's left of my garden. That tired her out, so she ate, had her bath and crashed early. But I, um, suppose I can eat out here." She glanced back when Coop said nothing. "Why the frown? Was the invitation only for the two of us?"

"What? Oh, no. It's just that I brought my guitar with me tonight. I read something in a magazine about a boy with autism responding well to music. Not that I'm a great guitarist," he pointed out. "And I know next to nothing about autism."

"I wish I knew more. Every expert, every doctor and every therapist has a different theory," she said. "But you used to be good enough on the guitar to play in that band during college. And, Coop, it's thoughtful of you to think of Lily. She loves the blocks you bought. But I'd really like to hear you play for a while tonight."

"Great, but please hurry and dish up your food. I can't wait to dive into this while it's hot."

"Dig in. Don't wait for me." Willow was quick, however. And even at that, Coop had sampled everything on his plate before she returned to take a seat two steps below him. "I intended to get you a chair, but you seem to be doing all right without it. Be careful leaning against that post, though. I noticed some of them are rotting at the base. From the weather, I guess."

Turning, he inspected the one at his back. "Looks like two or three posts and part of the foundation will need to be replaced before we can paint the place. I didn't pick up any paint this trip, but I can get new boards and paint next time. You'll need to go to town with me to choose a color."

"Cooper." Willow paused and shook her head, a forkful of food halfway to her mouth. "What part of I don't have the money to make all these repairs or to cover the stuff you've already bought don't you understand? I thought we already had this discussion."

"This is the best meal I've had in weeks," he said, ignoring her. "Is there any more cornbread? No, don't get up. I'll help myself. Is it in the oven or on the back of the stove?"

"I left the pan in the oven, which is still warm. Coop, we are going to talk about the amount you spent today and set a schedule for me to repay you. You cannot change the subject whenever it suits you or because you want to avoid talking about something. I remember you always used to do that to get your way. It's still annoying."

He came back with a chunk of cornbread for each of them. "I think gray with a dark blue trim would look good back here next to those oaks, don't you?" he asked in a thoughtful voice.

"Cooper Drummond!" Willow's exasperation was unmistakable.

He grinned as he waved a fork in the air. "This house isn't all that big. I can rent a power sprayer and clean the siding, get rid of the moss and mildew in an hour or two. It'll dry while I return the rig, and if we both paint, we can get it done in no time. I knew a couple of guys on the circuit who sold their homes, and they told me that for every dollar they invested in painting and so on, they made back three when they sold. You've never said what you plan to do once you sell, but you did say something that suggested you might move somewhere you can get more help for Lily. Everything costs more in the city so you'll need to get as much as you can for the ranch."

She dug a crater in what remained of her meat loaf. "I don't recall mentioning anything like that. What did I say? And when?"

"It was vague." Coop gestured with his cornbread, then chewed and swallowed a bite before answering. "And I'm reasonably sure better programs are available in someplace like San Antonio. Carrizo Springs is a nice town, but I doubt it's a high-tech center for the latest and greatest in innovative medicine."

"Your point is?" She set her plate aside and leaned back against the opposite post, closing her eyes.

Coop probed further. "Is there a treatment for autism? If so, what all is involved?"

"I don't know," she said. "It's a disorder with many facets. I first noticed something was wrong when Lily-belle was around two." Willow rubbed a thumb over her palm. "I told our doctor about my concerns when Lily began to withdraw. She started that rocking with her stuffed rabbit, which was suddenly the only toy she had any interest in. Not that she owned a lot of toys, but she had a doll, and books she'd loved." Willow stopped, a catch in her voice.

Coop waited, then finally prompted, "So, this local doctor sent you to a therapist?"

"No. He sent us to a specialist in San Antonio. They did tests. ABA, they call them—applied behavior analysis. Tate was upset about the cost. All they could really tell me was that she's developmentally delayed and has impaired communication, which I already knew. It wasn't until a visiting nurse came to the house that the word autism was attached to Lilybelle. My heart nearly stopped. The nurse could tell, and since the specialist hadn't labeled Lily, she arranged for a cognitive therapist, who spent an hour assessing Lily before writing a list of things I was supposed to do. Repetitive play. Exercise. Reading from the same book every night.Keeping to an exact schedule. Setting a structured environment. She said fewer girls have autism than boys do. But one in every hundred and ten children are born with some form of it."

"That's a lot," Coop commented.

Willow nodded. "I tried to follow her suggestions. But I spent most of my day doing chores, and I took Lily with me when I fed and watered the cattle. At the end of the day, we were both too tired to look at any of her books. And she gets cranky when she wants to sleep."

"Did the therapist only come that one time?"

"Twice. The second visit, she brought information about a school in Austin that has a program for kids from age two to adulthood. The tuition costs a mint. There are scholarships, but the kids live there. It's not the only school, of course. All big cities have them, I guess. Tate was in favor of sending her if he didn't have to pay." She paused. "He rarely interacted with her. He told the therapist Lily wasn't his daughter. He even said that to his dad. Tate and I got into a huge fight over that. Anyway, the therapist left, said she'd be back in a week and that she'd bring the papers to apply for funding. I went and packed for Lily and me. We had a second car then. I drove off, but Tate came after us in the pickup. He ran me off the road and dragged us back. Then he sold my car. Things were tense between us before, but they spiraled downhill after that. I fired the therapist to keep her from bringing the papers. Tate stayed too drunk to realize what I'd done. It was like we were his possessions. He had a dog-in-the-manger attitude when it came to me." Willow's eyes filled with tears.

Coop felt a painful wrench to his heart, yet some part of his brain nagged that she should've known better than to marry Tate Walker. That started a war inside his head. Like a damned fool, he'd taken off to do his thing with the rodeo, and as Willow had accused the other day, he'd abandoned her. A touch of his old pride surfaced, dictating that he not ask her why she hadn't cared enough to wait until he got riding broncs out of his system. But was that fair of him? Damn, he wished he could let go of the past.

"Are you finished eating?" she asked, breaking into his moody thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Can I help carry this stuff in? Lend a hand with dishes?"

"Heavens, no." Leaping up, Willow collected her plate and his. "You've done enough today. Anyway, didn't you say something about playing some tunes? I can hear you from the kitchen. It'll make my job go faster, and I'll bring out a pitcher of sweet tea when I'm done. Unless you'd prefer coffee? I saw you bought a big can. I still can't drink the stuff."

"I developed a taste for it on the road. You wouldn't believe the number of miles I drove getting from rodeo A to B to C. It's a hard habit to break."

"Driving from rodeo to rodeo? Or guzzling coffee?" she asked, pausing at the screen.

He rose and opened it for her. "The coffee," he answered.

Willow entered the house, and peered back over one shoulder, a smile teasing the corners of her lips. "Thanks for getting the door. I'm not used to having a gentleman around."

"Don't ever compare me to Tate, Willow." The words came out like a growl.

"I... I... I'd never do that, Coop. You two are as different as night and day. But if you tracked me down expecting an apology for old mistakes, hell will freeze over first."

"I didn't track you down, Willow. Didn't you see how shocked I was that first day? All this time, have you been thinking I looked you up for—why would I?"

She shook her head. "For revenge? Men are such sore losers. So, yes, it's crossed my mind that your shock was an act. You see, I stopped believing in serendipity, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy a long time ago."

"Huh?" Coop scratched his head.

"Never mind," she snapped, hating that she'd almost told him how often she'd gazed up at the stars at night, foolishly wishing he'd show up out of the blue and sweep her away from her sorry life. She wanted him to have tracked her down, darn it. "If you're going to play your guitar, then play," she said. "Otherwise, I'll lock up, put the dishes to soak overnight and go to bed."

He gave up trying to sort between the lines of what she'd said. "I'll play for a while, as long as you don't expect Keith Urban. I've only played a few times since I left Jud Rayburn's ranch. It takes regular practice, so I'm not sure how good I'll be."

"What were you doing at Rayburn's? Doesn't his land abut the Triple D?"

"It does. I wanted to get back in the swing of everything that needs doing on a large working cattle ranch. In a way I thought it might help me decide whether to present myself to Sully at the Triple D. Like I told you, we fell out. After our last big row, I quit on Jud and rode south. I couldn't find steady work, but I kept hearing about a woman, a widow out of Carrizo Springs, with a spot for an all-around cowhand. Funny, nobody told me your name."

"Ah. Would you have come by here if someone had?"

Coop rubbed a thumb back and forth over his jaw, then paused, realizing he badly needed a shave. "To tell you the truth," he said slowly, after several moments had passed. "I don't know that I would have, Willow."

She bit her lip. "I appreciate your honesty, Coop." Then she disappeared, jerking the screen door out of his loose grasp.

Coop wished he'd lied and told her he would've come, anyway. But he really wasn't sure. Especially after taking into account the roller-coaster ride his feelings had been on since he'd first seen her. And the question he probably ought to be asking himself wasn't whether or not he would've come, but why he felt so damned compelled to stay.

Sinking back down on the porch steps, Coop unsnapped his case, took out the guitar and rippled a thumb over the strings, stopping to tune the ones that had jiggled loose on the drive. A big pickup with enough power to pull a two-horse trailer wasn't the smoothest ride for a sensitive guitar.

Jimmy Buffett's songs were still on his mind, so he started with "Margaritaville," then moved into "Son of a Son of a Sailorman." Coop liked honky-tonk best; some tunes just freed a guitar picker's mind. That was the case tonight, and he'd almost forgotten where he was when the screen door opened and Willow backed out carrying a tray with a pitcher of icy tea and a pair of frosty glasses.

Coop hit a loud, flat chord. Willow had changed into a pair of worn-looking jean shorts and a loose, flowing blouse. Once again he noticed that her slender feet were bare. For a minute that seemed to stretch on forever, he stared at her.

She bent and carefully set the tray on the orange crate, then filled both glasses—giving Coop a leisurely time to study her long, nicely suntanned legs and narrow ankles. Old desires churned inside him.

"Why did you stop playing?" she asked, turning to face him as she passed him a glass.

"I, ah, can't drink and play at the same time," he said, tripping over the words; to his chagrin, he nearly let the cold glass slip through his clammy fingers.

Willow picked up her own glass and reclaimed her seat two steps down. "Drink up," she said. "I really enjoyed the serenade. I hope you don't mind that I took the time to change into something cooler."

Coop couldn't speak so he just shook his head while he gulped his drink.

"My kitchen is so tiny. Using the oven in the summer makes the whole room feel like a sauna. Same with washing dishes in hot water. Even if Tate had been inclined to buy me a dishwasher—or a microwave, for that matter—there's no room to put one."

Coop found that listening to Willow talk about Tate while he'd grown hard with desire for her had the immediate effect of being doused in ice water. He drained his glass and, with some difficulty, climbed to his feet. He plopped the empty glass on the tray with force enough to draw Willow's attention.

She clambered up with less grace as she tried to avoid Coop, who banged around returning his guitar to its case, and struggled to keep her almost full glass upright.

"Coop?" She sounded hesitant, and in the dim light cast by the lone porchlight, he could see confusion mixed with inquisitiveness.

His voice was tight as he said, "Supper was great, and I'm glad we discussed Lilybelle's condition, but I draw the line at ruining an otherwise nice evening by listening to you complain about Tate. If you need a pal for that kind of heart-to-heart, I'm not your man, Willow." Taking the steps in two bounds, he stalked across the yard and disappeared into the gloom of night.

She stood without moving as the crickets renewed their chirping. The hand that held her glass shook. What had she said about Tate? She couldn't remember. Earlier, Coop had sounded as if he knew all about her and Tate. She so rarely got to talk to anyone that having this opportunity to kick back and relax with Coop had been a treat. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over. Now she'd have to go back to weighing every word, like she'd done with her husband. And that was supposing Cooper wasn't angry enough to leave. But, darn it, what right did he have to lecture her? Hadn't she told him not to stick around?

Willow clung to that thought as she picked up the tray to take it inside. Realistically, no possible good could come of Cooper's staying here. But for a while tonight she'd felt more lighthearted than she had in years. Was it so wrong of her to revel in a few moments of normalcy?

Perhaps she didn't deserve to have Coop back in her life....

She went inside and, after depositing the tray in the kitchen, made her way to bed without turning on the light. She lay watching the play of moonlight flickering between her bedroom curtains far into the night, her mind a jumble of too many might-have-beens. Her head was clear about not wanting to get involved with Cooper Drummond. It was her heart that was unwilling to let go.

第四章

库珀的皮卡车上还有货要卸。想到和薇洛的关系有些进展，库珀打起口哨，有模有样地哼起了吉米·巴菲特的《玛格丽塔酒镇》。这歌的曲调好记，他喜欢在吉他上弹两下——吉他就放在车的后座上。没准儿今夜他要把吉他拿到门廊去，饭后再弹上几曲。薇洛和莉莉贝尔兴许喜欢呢。

去香型商店的时候，他光顾了书刊部，看到一本健康杂志，上面刊登了几篇有关自闭症的文章。他浏览了一篇，看会不会对了解薇洛女儿的病情有所帮助。有篇文章，是一位自闭症孩子的父母写的，其中提到孩子对钢琴弹奏的曲调反应积极。这小孩大莉莉好几岁，有部CD播放机和一部iPod，父母给他下载音乐听。库珀买了这本杂志，因为他不只是想浏览浏览就算了。另一篇是位神经病学家写的，看起来能增长见识。他努力想多了解这病症的信息。或者说自闭症是某种状况，还是某种紊乱？他连病的名字还说不好。这倒不是说薇洛愿意让他搅和她的家事，只是她以前一向思想开通、健谈。可如今，她自个的事全是她一个人兜着。泰特那点破事，镇上无人不知，无人不晓，可他费尽力气才能从她嘴里撬出来。

一想起泰特就让他扫兴。干体力活最好，它就像水一样，哗啦啦冲洗掉脑子里关于那个笨蛋的任何想法。

他卸下干草捆，打开了几捆，在栓了他的马匹的几个马厩里铺上草。第三个马厩也铺了草，他要在那里过夜，因为牲棚里的味儿好多了，新鲜多了。

他弄不到拖拉机，这太糟糕了，不然他可以把饲料袋拖出去搬到饲料槽。他扛了一袋到肩上，慢跑到牛群转悠的地方，突然意识到等干完这些活，恐怕就累得没胃口了。搬完饲料的时候，下午已经快过完了。一想到每天周而复始地干这些活直到牛肥马壮，他几乎真要重新考虑是否留下的问题了。难怪薇洛骨瘦如柴，像根牙签，因为她要干扛干草这样的活。他得把这活交给她做。她有这股子毅力和勇气。

回到皮卡车，他掸去买来的一袋袋种子袋上的灰尘，预备着到了秋天撒播两块地。看着它们，他甚至怀疑这么做有什么意义吗？再仔细看看农场所谓的灌溉系统，情况不容乐观。所有的喷水头要么生锈，要么腐蚀了，还有几个喷头不见了。撒种这活——以地的面积大小看——得要几个小时。可这儿既没拖拉机，又没撒播机，那还不得要几天的工夫。他见过棚里有个手动播种机。他站在那儿，手臂拄在皮卡车车壳边上耷拉下来，想起德拉蒙德三人农场拥有的先进农具。库珀估计，萨利不会把拖拉机、犁、撒播机和耙借他用几天的。况且，还得用德拉蒙德三人农场的平板车和拖车把它们从洪多运过来。跑一趟单程就是一百多英里。他用帽子一拍大腿，嫌恶地鼻子哼哼了几声。自己真是在白日做梦。况且，就算不用为了五年来对农场不管不顾低头认错，他还得为大打出手向沙利文赔礼道歉。对他而言，低头认错没那么容易。揍他下巴那一拳，自己也是憋了很久了。

库珀眯缝着眼，看着太阳光渐渐微弱。他放不下架子到萨利那儿去讨好卖乖。这种苦活要干上一阵子才能让他回心转意。

他把种子堆在棚外，冲洗了车斗，然后又用水管对着自己冲洗一天的尘土和臭汗。他的行李袋里只有两套衣服了。今天去镇上，本该把衣服拿去洗的。他看见过薇洛把衣服晾晒在外面，她肯定没烘干机。明后天得找个自动洗衣店了。

晚餐的香味已飘到牲口棚来了，这比薇洛说的时间提早了半个小时。他把衬衣扎进裤腰里，穿好靴子，拿上吉他，准备回到屋子。其实，他早就闻出来了，薇洛在做她拿手的肉面包……

库珀以前常吃薇洛给她父亲做的饭菜，所以，他对这香味太熟悉了。放学后他经常在外面闲逛，跟她爸聊竞技赛的事。她差不多从没去过他家。他家就三个男人，因此她妈妈觉得去他家不合适。

库珀还没登上薇洛家门廊的台阶就已经垂涎三尺了。

她正在把盖着的盘子放在门边的橙色板条箱上。“啊，库珀，你来了。我见你扛了不少饲料给牛群。我还担心你会来晚，饭还得重热。嗨，我拿把椅子来，你坐着轻松点。今天你累坏了吧。那些饲料袋死沉死沉。所以，我自个儿哪儿有法让牛群壮膘。”

库珀把吉他靠在门廊的栏杆，“薇洛，一想到饭的香味，我就一路跑过来了。肉面包的美味从一放进你的烤箱就在折磨我。更准确地说，是吊足了我的胃口。”他赶紧加了句，看到沮丧的神色从她脸上一闪而过。“我以为会给你一个惊喜……”

库珀端起盘子，拿开盖子，“和我记忆中的一样美味。新鲜的豆荚，还有玉米面包。薇洛，我真是大喜过望。”

她咯咯地笑了，露出让他记忆犹新的酒窝，打他来这儿就没见到过的酒窝。可这一切如昙花一现，她脸一红，进屋去了。“等等，”他叫道，有点不由自主了。“你和莉莉的盘子不可以一块端过来吗？这叫野餐。”

薇洛没马上吱声，屋里黑洞洞的，纱门挡着，库珀看不到里面的情况。她嘎吱一声拉开纱门，说，“莉莉吃过了。她就喜欢几样饭菜。”薇洛移开眼神，“她的饮食有点紊乱。有些自闭症孩子有强迫症状。比方说，她只喜欢一种食品，一个款式的衬衫，一套睡衣，要她改变难乎其难。今天我清理花园杂草的时候，她一直在那挖泥，回到家就很累了，所以她早早吃过饭，冲了凉就睡了。我嘛，嗯，我可以出来吃。”库珀没吭声，她看了一眼说道，“你皱眉是什么意思？莫非只能两个人一起来？”“什么，啊，不不不。只是我特意拿来吉他，我在杂志上看到，有个自闭小孩对音乐特别有反应。不是说我吉他弹得好，”他强调说，“而且我对自闭症几乎一无所知。”“我倒希望自己多懂点。每个专家，每个医生，每个治疗学家，都有自己的一套理论，”她说，“你吉他弹得很好，还在大学乐队演奏过。啊，库珀，你真好，还想着莉莉。她很喜欢你买的积木。我今晚倒很想听你弹会儿吉他。”“好哇，赶紧把你的饭端出来。饭热乎乎的，我等不及要开动了。”“赶紧吃，别等我啦。”薇洛动作麻利，可在她返回之前，库珀已把盘里的菜品尝一遍了。她在低两级的台阶上坐下，“我本来想给你拿把椅子，不过你好像不坐椅子也行。靠那根柱子的时候要小心点，我发现基角处有的地方朽坏了。我猜是天气弄的。”

他转身看了眼，“看起来有两三根柱子和一些基脚部分需要先换掉再上漆。我这次出门没带漆，等下次我去买些新木板和漆。你要跟我去趟镇上，选一种颜色。”“库珀，”薇洛停下来，摇摇头，一叉饭还没放到嘴里，“你到底明不明白这句话的意思？我没钱来维修这些，我也付不起你买的这些东西。我记得我们已经谈论过这个话题了。”“这餐饭是我这几周来吃的最爽的一顿，”他感叹道，不理睬她的话，“还有玉米面包吗？别，别起来，我自个儿来。在烤箱里，还是在炉子外面？”“托盘还温着呢，我把它放在烤箱里了。库珀，我们还得说说你今天花了多少，好定个期限还你。你不能随时随意或者自己想回避某些事情的时候就老是转移话题。我还记得你以前老这样，全由着自己的性子。现在想起还让人恼火。”

他回来了，给他和薇洛一人拿了一块大面包，“我想，灰底镶上深蓝色的边，和旁边的橡树应该挺相称。你意下如何？”他若有所思地问。“库珀·德拉蒙德！”薇洛真的恼怒了。

他咧嘴笑了，叉子在空中挥了几下，“这房子也没那么大。我可以租个电子喷雾器，清理清理护墙板，刮掉苔藓和真菌，一两个小时就能搞定。等我把设备还了回来，油漆就干了。要是我们一起刷漆，那一会儿就搞定了。我认识几个玩竞技赛的家伙，他们卖过房子。据他们说，钱花在油漆这些上面，投资一元，出手时赚回三元。你从没说过农场卖了你干什么。可你确确实实说过为了给莉莉治病得搬到哪儿去。城里的东西什么都更贵，所以，你还得尽量从农场里多弄几个钱。”

她在剩余的肉面包上抠了个坑，“我不记得说过那些话。我说了什么？什么时候说的？”“我也记不清了。”库珀拿着玉米面包比划了一下，咬了一口嚼着咽下后才回答，“我比较有把握地说，像圣安东尼奥这样的地方应该有更好的医疗方案。卡里索斯普林斯是个不错的小镇，可我怀疑它没有最先进、最发达的高新医药技术。”“你的意思是？”她放下盘子，靠着对面的柱子，闭上眼。

库珀进一步试探道，“自闭症有疗法吗？如果有，那该怎么治疗？”“我不知道，”她说，“它是种紊乱性疾病，牵涉多种病因。莉莉贝尔两岁左右时，我察觉她有什么地方不对劲。”薇洛用拇指搓了下手掌，“后来，莉莉变得怯生了，我向医生说了我的担心。再后来，她就拿着兔宝宝玩具摇晃，突然就只对这一个玩具有兴趣了。我不是说她有好多玩具，但是她还有一个洋娃娃，还有一些她喜欢过的书。”薇洛停了下，喘了口气。

库珀等着她说下去，最后忍不住追问，“那么，这位地方医生给你派治疗师了吗？”“没有，他让我们去圣安东尼奥找一位专家。那儿的人给莉莉做了ABA测试，他们叫应用行为分析。泰特不乐意花这笔钱。他们真正能告诉我们的是，她的发育滞后了，因而影响了和别人的沟通，而这些我们已经知道了。直到后来有位探访护士来家访，才说莉莉患了自闭症。我的心脏几乎都停止跳动了。那位护士可以判定，但因为专家没有确诊，她联系了一位认知能力治疗学家，给莉莉做了一小时的测试，最后列了个单子，写明了我该做的事，比如，重复游戏，锻炼身体，每晚给她朗读同一本书。一切按规定时间操作，创造一种有序的环境。她说女孩患自闭症的几率比男孩低。但是一百个孩子中就有一个患自闭症，十个有不同程度的自闭倾向。”“这信息不少哇。”库珀说道。

薇洛点点头，“我尽力照她说的去做。可我大部分时间得做家务，给牛群喂食、饮水的时候都带上莉莉，一天下来，我们都累了，没精力给她读书。她一想睡觉的时候就脾气暴躁。”“治疗专家就来过一次？”“两次。第二次来的时候说奥斯汀有所治疗学校，招收两岁到成年段的学生。可费用昂贵，可以申请奖学金，但孩子得住那儿。当然，学校不止这一所。我想大城市都有。泰特赞成送莉莉去，只要他不花钱。”她停了停，“他很少跟孩子交流，还跟治疗师说，莉莉不是他亲生的，他甚至跟他父亲这样讲。泰特和我为此大吵一架。后来，治疗师走了，说是一周后再来，带给我们申请资助的文件。我就去给莉莉和我打点行囊。那时我们还有两辆车。我开车走了，泰特开着皮卡追我们。他追上来，把我们拽了回来，然后卖掉了我的车。这之前我俩的关系就紧张了，从此以后，更是每况愈下。我辞退了治疗师，免得她再带文件过来。泰特成天酗酒，弄不清楚我做了什么。似乎我们成了他的私有财产。尤其对我的态度，他是站着茅坑不拉屎。”薇洛的眼里噙着泪水。

库珀的心一阵疼痛，可他的理智却在抱怨，谁叫她傻乎乎地嫁给了泰特。这引发了他脑海中的一场风暴。当年他像个十足的笨蛋，一心要去弄他的竞技赛。就像薇洛说的，他抛弃了她。可自己从前的那股傲气又抬头了。那股傲气要他别去问她为什么当初不等着他，等到他退出比赛。可他这么说公平吗？真可恶，他多么希望自己不要对过去的事纠缠不休。“你饭吃完了？”她问道，打断了他的愁绪。“哦，哎，吃完了。要我帮你收拾吗？帮你刷刷碗？”“老天，别，”薇洛腾地站起来，收了两人的碗碟。“今天你累了一天。哎，你不是说要弹两曲吗？你弹吧，我在厨房听着，洗涮更快些，等收拾完了，我再给你沏壶香茶。我看你买了一大罐咖啡。你是不是更喜欢咖啡？我还是喝不了那东西。”“我常年在路上跑，慢慢养成的习惯。你都不敢相信，我竞技赛跑了多少路，从上一个赛场到下个赛场。一时难以戒掉了。”“是从一个赛场到下个赛场呢？还是狂饮咖啡？”她问道，脚步停在了沙门那儿。

他站起身，替她开了门，“是咖啡。”他应道。

薇洛进了房间，又回过头来，嘴角挂着笑意，“谢谢你给我开门。我不太习惯一个绅士在我身边转悠。”“薇洛，别把我和泰特比。”话里带出些怨怒。“我……我……我从不拿你跟他比。你和他有天壤之别。可如果你找到这里来，就是要我为以前的错道歉，那真有点天怒人怨。”“薇洛，我不是专程来找你的。难道你看不出我第一天见到你，有多吃惊吗？这段时间你一直觉得我是来找你的——可我干吗要找你？”

她摇摇头，“为了报复？男人就是赢得起，输不起。哦，对了，我有想过，你震惊的样子确实由衷而发。可不嘛，我早已不信什么缘分天定、圣诞老人、牙仙子了。”“啊？”库珀挠挠头。“没什么，”她没好气地说，恨自己差点说走了嘴。曾几何时，她凝望星空，傻乎乎地幻想他会从天而降，拯救自己悲摧的人生。真可恶，她偏偏就想要他为自己而来，“你不是要弹吉他嘛，弹呗，”她说道，“不然，我就锁门了，把碗泡上一宿，去睡觉了。”

他不再试图去揣测她的话外之音，“我弹上几曲，不过，期望不要过高啊，我可不是基思·厄本。离开尤德·雷伯恩农场后，我也就弹过两三回。这需要天天练，所以，弹得怎么样我也没把握。”“你在雷伯恩农场干什么？他的农场离你家农场不是很近吗？”“是很近。我是想全面熟悉如何经营一家大农场。这也会决定我是否回到萨利那儿，回到德拉蒙德三人农场。我跟你说过，我们翻脸了。上次大吵大闹之后，我辞去了雷伯恩的工作，往南边来了。我找不到稳定的活，可总听人说起有个寡妇，在卡里索斯普林斯附近，一直要找个什么活都能上手的牧牛工。你说好笑不好笑，就没人告诉我你的名字。”“啊。真有人告诉你了，你会来吗？”

库珀的拇指在下巴上来回地摩挲，停下来，想起自己真该修修边幅了，“说真的，”他语调缓慢，过了一会儿，“薇洛，我真不知道会不会来。”

她咬着嘴唇，“库珀，谢谢你说了实话。”随即，她猛地推开他没抓牢的门，进屋了。

库珀真希望自己撒了个谎，说自己专程来找她。可他真的不确定，尤其是想到他们第一次相遇到如今，其间的感情经历跌宕起伏如同过山车。或许现在他该问自己的问题，不是当初知道了会不会来这儿，而是来了之后为什么一个劲儿地想留下来。

坐在门廊的阶梯上，库珀解开扣儿，取出吉他，拇指在弦上轻轻划过，停下来把路上颠簸松的琴弦调紧。他那辆马力十足，拉得动载了两匹马的拖车的大皮卡车，对灵敏度很高的吉他来说不是最理想的运输工具。

吉米·巴菲特的歌声还萦绕在他的脑海里。他先弹了曲《玛格丽特酒镇》，再来了一首《水手的儿子的儿子》。库珀对廉价酒吧的音乐情有独钟，有些曲子就是让弹奏者放松自由遐想的。今宵正当如此意境，他居然一下子忘了自己身在何处。这时门开了，薇洛端着摆了壶冰茶和两个冻得结冰的杯子的茶盘，用背抵开门走了出来。

库珀弹奏了个降调的和弦，声音铿锵有力。薇洛换了件旧牛仔短裤和一件宽松飘逸的上衣。他又见到她那双光着的纤细的脚。他盯着她，那一瞬间仿佛定格成永恒。

她弯腰，小心地把茶盘放到橙色板条箱上，再给杯子满上茶——这给了库珀充裕的时间来欣赏她修长的、被太阳晒得恰到好处的美腿和她纤细的脚踝。“为什么不弹了？”她问道，递杯子时扭头看着他。“啊，我没法边喝边弹，”他应道，一时找不到合适的话回应她。让他懊恼的是，他差点让冰冷的杯子从黏糊糊的指间滑落。

薇洛端起自己的杯子，又在离库珀两个台阶的地方坐下来，“喝吧，”她说道，“你弹的小夜曲很好听。刚才我换了身凉快点的衣服，茶上得慢了，希望你别介意。”

库珀一口气咕噜咕噜地喝茶，顾不上说话，只是摇头。“我的厨房太小，夏天一用烤箱，整个屋子感觉就像桑拿，用热水洗碗也是这样。就算泰特想给我买个洗碗机或者微波炉，其实嘛，也没地方放。”

库珀觉得，在他欲火熊熊的时候，一听薇洛说起泰特，马上就能起到给他当头泼一瓢冷水的效果。他喝完水，有点费力地站了起来，把空杯重重地放在茶托上，故意引起薇洛的注意。

她慌慌张张地站起身，尽量给库珀腾开空间，同时小心翼翼地端稳自己几乎盛满水的杯子。库珀把吉他放进盒子里，弄得砰砰直响。“库珀？”她语气犹豫。门廊上一盏孤灯，借助昏暗的光线，他见她一脸的茫然和不解。

他语气生硬地说，“晚餐很好，很高兴我们讨论了莉莉贝尔的情况，但我得把丑话搁这儿，为了不扫大家的兴，不要再在我跟前抱怨泰特了。如果你想找个伙伴促膝谈心，薇洛，你找错了对象。”说完库珀两个大跨步迈下台阶，穿过院子，消失在茫茫的夜色中。

她木然地站在那儿。蛐蛐又恢复了啁啾。她握杯子的手在颤抖。她到底说泰特什么了？她记不得了。早先，库珀听上去全都知道泰特和她的事。她平时很少有机会和人说话，像这样跟库珀聊天放松对她来说是莫大的快乐。她的眼泪一涌而出，簌簌落下。现在，她得回去斟酌每个字、每句话，就像以前跟自己丈夫相处时那样。这还是假设库珀没有气到要离开这里的地步。可是，该死，他有什么权利说她？她难道没叫他离开这里吗？

薇洛收好托盘，准备放进屋里，可心里还放不下这事。现实点讲，库珀留在农场对她不可能有什么好处。可就在今晚，她曾一度感受到了多年没有过的轻松愉快。她难道就不能享受片刻常人的快乐吗？

莫非她不配让库珀回到她身边……

她进了屋，放好茶托之后没开灯就上床睡了。她躺在床上，望着窗前月光摇曳，窗外皓月千里。她想着自己失之交臂的姻缘，想着人生的诸多遗憾，她的心绪剪不断，理还乱。理性要她不要再和库珀·德拉蒙德有什么瓜葛牵连，可她的心却不愿就此放手。

Chapter Five

The morning after he'd stormed off Willow's porch in a huff, Coop's thoughts were still scattered. He felt bad for lashing out at her, but he couldn't abide hearing her talk about Tate. He didn't even want to hear her complain about the man. Part of him couldn't understand why she hadn't found a way to leave the SOB. She said he'd run her off the road once and then dragged her back to the house. That was one time. However, if Tate spent as many hours in town drinking and gambling as Willow indicated, couldn't she have asked for someone's help in getting away?

Willow wasn't weak-willed. She was a smart, savvy woman. And she wasn't a novice at navigating her way through government bureaucracies. Her mother, Belle, wasn't the one who'd researched and found a senior-care center to look after Marvin so Willow could attend college. Willow herself had done that.

Rolling out of bed, Coop got dressed. He skipped breakfast, heading straight out to the far corner of the property instead. He decided to tackle replacing mangled metal fence stakes that held up the wire sections and kept the cattle contained. It was a job that fit his mood today. The ground was half caliche, and Willow said she wanted the stakes to go deeper, so he drove them in with brute force, swinging a fifty-pound sledgehammer. Coop put his whole back into the job, and each strike of hammer on metal sent a ripple of pain along his straining muscles. But somehow it was satisfying to imagine that he was driving Tate Walker's spirit farther into perdition.

After a while Coop developed a rhythm and was able to blank his mind to the pain, and to idle thoughts of Tate or Willow. Noon came, then marched past like one of the four-foot wire sections snaking along the perimeter of her ranch.

All at once she appeared in Coop's line of vision. Seeing her so suddenly caught him off guard. It broke his stride, forcing him to recognize that he was very near to dropping in his tracks. Sweat from the sun high overhead pasted his last clean chambray shirt to his aching back.

"What's up? I'm busy here." Coop whipped off his hat, wiped his brow with one hand and realized a row of blisters had sprouted along the base of his fingers. He tried to will them away, but it even hurt to fan his face with his hat, so he let the summer Stetson fall into the dirt. A few steers stood in a huddle nearby, their ropy tails swishing at flies. Coop waited impatiently for her to speak.

"I brought lunch," Willow said. "You skipped breakfast. Whatever demons are behind your assault on this fence, Coop, I can't stand by and watch you kill yourself."

"You said fixing this fence is my number-one priority." Afraid that he might pass out, Coop dropped to his haunches and leaned his wrists heavily on the three-foot sledge handle, silently praying for earth, sky and Willow to stop revolving in front of his eyes.

"Here, drink some water. You're white around your lips. Are you trying for sunstroke?" Willow removed a thermos from the basket she'd set at her feet and filled the lid with water.

Taking the cup with a shaking hand, Coop bent his head and dumped the cool water over his sweat-matted hair. The move put him on a level with Lilybelle, who had accompanied Willow and now peered solemnly at Coop from behind her mother's thigh. He imagined an old soul staring at him out of the girl's unblinking green-flecked eyes. Eyes that chastised him, or at least that was how it appeared to him. How could he gripe at Willow in front of her kid?

Regret tightening his chest, Coop turned his face up to Willow. "I appreciate lunch. Give me a second to get on my feet again and make my way over to the shade of that tree. I hope you brought enough food for us to share."

She pried the cup from his fingers. Picking up the tea towel that covered the basket, she passed it to Coop, indicating he should towel his hair and face. But as he took it from her, she spotted his blisters. A hiss of air escaped her lips. "You're finished for the day, Galahad. If we don't treat those blisters now, you're asking for infection. Where are your gloves, anyway? I thought bronc riders bought them by the case."

Getting up, Coop gingerly opened and closed both fists. "I have gloves in the barn in my saddlebags, along with liniment and witch hazel. I wasn't riding broncs today, so I guess I didn't think I'd need 'em."

Willow snorted. "Seems to me a horse tossed you on your head one too many times, Drummond."

He looked sheepish, but was gallant enough to reach for the basket.

Willow smacked the top of his hand lightly. "I get that you're a gentleman, okay? But if you tear those blisters open on this wicker handle, you'll be one miserable gentleman." She hefted the basket and took Lily's hand.

"Thanks, but I'm not used to being fussed over. I'll slap gauze packs across my hands and use gloves tomorrow." Even as he said this, he raised his right arm jerkily and rotated it from the shoulder, grimacing as he did.

"That is, if you can crawl out of bed in the morning," Willow said, skepticism on her face.

When they got to the old live oak, Coop eased his aching body down to the ground and carefully leaned his back against its wide trunk.

Willow, who'd retrieved his hat when he'd left it lying in the dirt beside the fence, set it beside him. Then she took a small blanket from the basket, followed by Lily's worn bunny rabbit. The girl immediately sat on the blanket, grabbed her stuffed toy and began to rock.

"What will you do if that toy falls apart?" Coop asked casually.

"Bite your tongue," Willow said, then sighed. "I honestly don't know. It was a gift my mother sent when Lilybelle was born. The chances of finding another one exactly like it are slim to none." She pulled wrappedsandwiches, a couple of apples and a plastic container of cut vegetables out of the basket. She offered Lily half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; when the girl shook her head in refusal, Willow set the sandwich on a napkin. Passing Coop a tuna-salad sandwich and the container of veggies, Willow dropped into a cross-legged position. "A nurse at the neurologist's office where Lily was tested gave me a booklet that explained some behaviors that are common to kids diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Some kids react positively or negatively to textures, tastes, smells, et cetera. Lily likes the feel of the rabbit's chenille body. She likes soft cotton, flannel sheets and even the satin blanket edging."

Coop nodded as he bit into the sandwich. Once he'd swallowed, he said, "That's not so abnormal. I like my jeans broken in. And I dislike new shirts. I'm happier after they've been washed a hundred times."

"I don't think you'd go naked rather than wear something brand-new," Willow said wryly. "Lilybelle would do exactly that. Following her trail of discarded clothing through the house used to be a morning ritual."

"Why her, Willow? Why your daughter? Is autism genetic? Have there been other instances in your family? Or in the Walkers'?" Coop questioned as he unwrapped a second sandwich Willow had passed him. "Wouldn't surprise me if it was them," he muttered.

"The experts can't agree on a cause, Coop. It'd give you a headache if you tried to sift through all the studies out there. Practically every specialist has a different opinion." Willow rested her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face.

Coop hated seeing her look so distressed. "Hey, you have to eat, too. There's no end to the work that needs doing around here. If I'm gonna knock off on the fence for the rest of today, it'd be the perfect time for us to go to town and rent that power washer and for you to choose paint colors."

"You don't listen, Coop," she scolded. "Think of the rumors you've already heard about me. If you and I went to pick out house paint together, the whole town will believe Tate's lies about me being a flirt... or worse."

"They know he was full of crap. But there's nothing that says we need to shop in Carrizo Springs. I thought we could go to Crystal City. It's not that far away."

"There's still the cost, Cooper."

He idly polished an apple on his shirt. It sounded crisp as he bit into it.

Willow sat there, unable to read his expression.

Coop chewed, then swallowed before he addressed her concerns. "If you can't or won't accept my help for yourself, Willow, do it for Lily. You said there's more that could be done for her away from here. Selling the ranch will give you options."

"Damn you, Cooper! That's sneaky. I'll admit Lily is my weakness."

He almost said And you're mine, but was able to check his response. He hid the feelings racing through him by taking another bite of the juicy apple. Appropriate, he thought with chagrin. She was like Eve in the Garden of Eden. But no way would he be her Adam!

Climbing stiffly to his feet, he threw the apple core as far as he could, but almost cried out from the pain that cost him.

"Are you okay?" Willow asked softly.

"Fine. These old bones are just a bit rusty and not used to hard labor," he joked.

She laughed briefly. "You haven't changed. You always were quick to play on a girl's sympathy."

"Says the woman who insisted my hands needed doctoring."

"Right. And we're going to take care of them before we drive to Crystal City," she ordered briskly.

"Does the little squirt have a booster seat?"

Guilt flashed in Willow's eyes. "We had to have an infant car seat to bring her home from the hospital. It's not good, I know, but since she outgrew it, and I only have the old pickup that used to be Tate's, I have to buckle her in beside me any time I go to town. I don't go often," she added.

"I gathered that. A booster seat is something else to put on our list, then," Coop said.

"Cooper, once we tally up everything I'm going to owe you, I'll have to work two jobs somewhere else to pay you. Unless I can get a decent price for the cattle."

"We'll deal with it after I fatten those steers and we check out the best prices. Now, I want to see you eat that last sandwich as we walk back to the house." Coop pressed the sandwich into her hand. Then, seeing that Lily was eating hers, he sat back down and waited until they were both finished. He watched Willow wet a napkin with water from the thermos to wipe jelly off her daughter's face and hands. His stomach knotted.

Willow, who'd spent so much of her life taking care of her invalid father had loved to socialize during their college years. Now she was back to being dead serious about life again. It didn't seem fair. But who said life was fair?

AS THEY APPROACHED the house, Willow told Coop to grab any gauze pads he had on hand. "I'm not sure what's in my medicine cabinet," she admitted.

He headed to the barn and she to the house to return the picnic basket. He took time to wash up and change clothes, then met her on the porch. "Oh, these are good, thick pads," she said, taking the box out of his first aid kit, and motioning for him to sit on the top step.

She knelt and bent over his hands to inspect them. Coop noticed that she'd brushed out her ponytail and had changed her blouse, as well. The tips of her fine blond hair tickled his cheek as she worked on his hand. The combination of a light perfume, the feel of her hair and her soothing fingers caused a tightening in Cooper's groin. Old emotions swept over him in a rush. He might have touched her cheek and blown everything if she hadn't poured witch hazel over his blisters. The sting in two of the open blisters brought him straight up off the step.

"Holy... cheesecake!" he shouted, revising the last part of his curse as he jerked his hand out of Willow's.

"Sorry." Rocking back on her heels, she studied him with darkening eyes. "I didn't realize you'd broken any of the blisters."

He waved his hand and gritted his teeth, because he saw Lily gazing at him as she gripped her mother's arm. "It's okay," he assured the child. "Took me by surprise, is all." He could've said it was a surefire way of cooling a man's jets. And that was just as well. It was a good thing he hadn't acted on his impulse to touch Willow. He'd gone without a woman about as long as he ever had; that explained his reaction to her nearness. Or so he told himself while Willow finished bandaging his wounds.

She stood and put the tape, remaining gauze pads, antiseptic and scissors back into the kit before setting it down on the orange crate. "I'll leave this here because we'll need to change the bandages again in the morning. And tomorrow, wear gloves, okay?"

Nodding, Coop flexed his fingers. "They'll be fine in a day or two. I've had worse—like the rope burns I got from riding a really rank bucker. One sawed clear through my leather glove," he said. "I've known bronc riders who lost fingers if they got thrown and had the rope wrapped too tight."

She shuddered. "See, that's why I never understood why anyone could be so enamored of rodeo."

"It's the thrill of pitting yourself against a thirteen-hundred-pound animal. Or in the case of bull-riding, maybe two thousand pounds."

"Where's the thrill in getting maimed for life—or worse, killed?"

Turning toward her as they walked to his pickup, Coop spread his arms with a cocky grin. "I give you exhibit A. Do I look maimed or dead?"

Willow's eyes drifted over him from head to toe. "The question is, can you stay away from rodeo? Mom told me Dad quit when I was born. That thrill you talk about lured him back. I doubt it was worth spending the next twenty years in a wheelchair."

Coop didn't say anything. He opened the Ram's door and let her settle Lily in the backseat. He boosted Willow into the front passenger seat, shocked by how light she felt. His hands almost spanned her slender waist. Coop was thankful he'd pulled on a pair of gloves, because her blouse rode up and otherwise his bare hands would have connected with her skin.

He was doing his best to hang on to his old anger and resentment, but things kept happening to boot out those feelings. He needed to draw a firm line. It was fine to help Willow out for old times' sake; it'd be pure folly to let himself get attached to her again. Coop wasn't sure he had it in him to ever totally forgive her for marrying Tate Walker mere weeks after Coop had kissed her goodbye.

He drove in silence, wrapped in his thoughts.

Content to have someone else in the driver's seat, Willow stared out the side window, where a blazing sun shimmered off the desert landscape. A trio of dust devils kicked up and danced across the road through the scrub brush bordering the highway.

The silence in the cab got to Coop first. He dropped the sunshade and pulled a CD from the holder clipped to his visor. Country music soon wailed from the Ram's oversize woofers. He adjusted the volume twice before he caught sight of Lily's head bobbing in time to Rascal Flatts's "I Melt." His shoulders finally relaxing a little, Cooper nudged Willow's arm. He motioned toward the backseat with his chin.

She turned. "I expected to see that she'd fallen asleep."

"No, she's feeling the music."

"I don't know, Coop. She rocks so much of the time. When I had a radio, I don't recall her ever stopping to listen to the music." Willow frowned. "It breaks my heart," she murmured, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched Lily.

The sorrow in her voice clutched at Coop's throat. When he was able to speak, he said, "I hate hearing you sound so defeated. You said there are places that treat kids with Lilybelle's disorder."

"I'm not sure treat is the right term. The school Ms. Baxter talked about has a curriculum focusing on special education for a variety of learning disabled kids. The children there weren't all autistic. Some were bipolar, dyslexic, had ADD, ADHD or Asperger's, which is actually high-functioning autism. I'm not convinced the rate of success they claim is accurate."

"Oh? Wouldn't success need to be measured and documented before they could advertise through medical communities?"

"Maybe." Willow rubbed at the small creases that had formed between her eyebrows. "It costs sixteen to eighteen thousand dollars a year for tuition."

Coop whistled through his teeth. "As much as a semester of college."

"So far out of my reach it's impossible to consider. Maybe that's why I seem defeated. I want what's best for her, but I'm short on hope lately."

"There's always hope," he said. Slowing down, Coop navigated through Carrizo Springs, then sped up on the other side as he aimed for Crystal City. Once more they let the music envelop them.

"Ah, good. They have a large department store," Coop said, pointing to a sprawling building on the outskirts of town. "We can get Lily's booster seat, check out paint supplies and maybe even get a power washer. Then I want to drop off my clothes at a Laundromat before we hunt up a paint store. I figure the clothes will be washed when we're done and I'll stuff them in a dryer while we find a place to have supper."

Willow's turned to stare at him. "You didn't say anything about eating here, Cooper. And you can wash your clothes at my house."

"What? You don't want a night off from slaving over a hot stove?"

"It's, uh, I've never tried to take Lilybelle to a restaurant, Coop. She doesn't always handle new situations well. They make her anxious. Sometimes I wish I could crawl inside her head and understand what's going on in there." She twisted one hand around the other, and Coop realized she had no rings on any of her fingers. Maybe she'd hocked her diamond along with all the other things she'd sold.

"I don't want to cause either of you any stress, Willow. I'm used to doing my laundry at a Laundromat. And don't worry—I didn't plan on candlelight and wine. We can get burgers and eat in the cab."

"Uh. Okay. I've... well, suffice it to say I'm not used to spur-of-the-moment trips into town. If I seem overwhelmed at times, it's because I am. It's not that I don't appreciate everything you're doing for me, Cooper."

Not certain that was true, Coop angled into a parking space and circled the pickup to open her door. He helped Willow down, then moved the seat forward and unbuckled Lily, planning to lift her out. The child reared back in fright, arched her back and bellowed.

"I didn't touch her," he said, glancing helplessly at Willow.

"I know." She shouldered him aside and reached into the pickup, murmuring reassuringly to the little girl until her sobs faded into hiccups. Only then was Willow able to lever the child out, into her arms.

Coop felt awkward, and it cut deep that he'd scared Lily through his unthinking carelessness.

Willow noticed how he nervously jiggled his keys, and how quickly he'd withdrawn. "You can't take it personally, Coop. It's simply another aspect of the resistance to change I mentioned earlier. Managing change of any kind takes hours, days, weeks, sometimes months of repetition. You startled her, that's all."

At the store's automatic entrance, Coop stood aside and let Willow pass. "Do you want a cart?" he asked. "We could get two and you can go choose a booster seat while I cruise through the equipment section for a power washer and the other things on our list."

"I'd rather not. This store is pretty big and I don't want to lose you," she said. In fact, Willow wanted Coop to decide how much he was willing to spend on a booster seat. In all her married life, purchases inevitably came down to price. It made her stomach churn to even think about Coop berating her in public like Tate always had. A little voice reminded her that Coop had said not to confuse him with Tate. How could she? Coop had never been anything but thoughtful and kind.

They went through the aisles fairly quickly despite the number of shoppers and all the displays crowding the store. Coop knew what he wanted equipment-wise. In the children's department, he found the booster seats, but immediately turned to Willow. "I'm not sure what we need here. It looks as if the booster seats all say seven years or seventy pounds."

Willow checked the manufacturers' tags Coop had indicated. "Some states have strict laws about car seats. Lily outgrew her infant seat a long time ago. Tate—uh, I'm sorry for bringing him up as I know you don't want me to mention him—but he said all the new laws were only about getting customers to spend more money."

Coop's lips thinned. "Seems to me the aim is to save lives. Do you want to have Lily sit in one so we can make sure the padded wings protect her head?"

Willow was able to get her to try three. Plainly the girl's preference was for the softest, most padded of the trio. She kept stroking the material. It was also top of the line and the most expensive. Willow remarked on that, then said, "Any one of them would work, Coop, and be better than the nothing we have now. You're not earning money at the moment. Anyway, it's not your responsibility to provide my daughter with a car seat."

"Dammit, stop saying stuff like that, Willow. I know what I can afford." Coop picked up the seat Lily liked. "This one offers the most protection, right? And shouldn't it last her the longest?"

Willow met Coop's searing gaze and all she saw there was a true desire for her opinion. "I think this one will work best because if she likes how it feels, she won't fuss about being strapped into it."

"Good!" Coop put it into the cart. "We're done here. Let's check out and find a Laundromat, a paint store, then food."

The checkout lines were long. Lily got antsy about standing between people and display cases. Coop noticed and pulled out the keys to his pickup. "No need for us all to be stuck here. I'll pay and meet you in the parking lot."

Grateful for his compassion, Willow flashed him a rare smile. As she herded her daughter out into the afternoon sun, it crossed her mind that this was how family life should have been. A husband and wife should discuss purchases reasonably, make decisions and pull together as a unit. She'd never had that. And still didn't, she lamented. She'd pushed him away five years ago, and he was only here temporarily now. It wouldn't be smart to rely on him too much.

Those thoughts returned forty minutes later as they stood in the paint store and debated the various paint swatches. "You said something about gray with blue trim," Willow told Coop. "I'm inclined to agree, but it boggles my mind to see how many shades of gray there are. I'm not usually this indecisive."

"Well, you're painting it to sell. It'd be more important to love the colors if this was a home you planned to live in forever."

"You're right. Then let's go with driftwood gray and Colonial blue." She gave the strips to a waiting clerk, and was again struck by a sense of warmth when he called them Mr. and Mrs. Drummond after a glance at Coop's credit card. Willow held her breath, expecting him to set the guy straight. But Coop didn't, and the feeling of family persisted as they left with their paint, dropped his clothes in a machine at the Laundromat, then hunted up a fast-food hamburger place.

"I'll go order," Coop said after Willow made selections for her and Lily from the limited menu. "You pick a table you think will suit Lily B."

Willow chose one by the window and had settled in when a group of five young women piled out of a Suburban. Willow noted they all wore flashy western garb. Sparkling tees, studded jeans and expensive boots. Her attention was drawn to them as they burst through the door, totally carefree in their chatter and laughter.

Her interest was piqued when one woman with long black hair spotted Coop at the counter and squealed in delight, exclaiming, "You're Cooper Drummond, this year's national bronco-riding champion! Girls, it is him. Oooh, I need your autograph. Sign here," she practically purred, and handed over a pen from her purse while pulling aside the V-neck of her shirt to expose the swell of her left breast.

Willow expected Coop to brush the loud women off, because their food had come up. But he didn't. Instead, he let them engulf him, and his laugh erupted like Mount Vesuvius. Willow watched his posture, wearing his winner's smile as he signed various body parts—although for the one in the V-neck, he only signed her arm. All the women gushed on and on about his stats. Time ticked by as their food cooled on the counter and the women continued fawning over Coop, talking rodeo.

Lily began to whimper, so Willow got up, marched across the restaurant and grabbed their tray before stalking back to their table.

Coop saw her and began extracting himself from the gaggle of fans. The quintet finally got the message and turned their attention to the order window once they saw their idol sit down with a woman and child.

Willow had opened Lily's package of chicken strips and now coaxed her daughter to eat. It was hard to miss Coop's jovial attitude. She didn't want to be snarky, but sounded that way when she said, "Quite the photo opportunity. A rodeo cowboy and his groupies. It certainly doesn't look to me as if you want to leave the circuit."

Slow to come down from the adrenaline rush stoked by his followers, Coop had to admit fan enthusiasm was a big part of riding to the buzzer and piling up points in the standings. Fan adulation went with the territory. "I don't understand what's bugging you. Collecting autographs is harmless fun for avid rodeo-goers," he said. "I quit rodeo, but it wasn't all that long ago. Hardcore fans still remember me."

Willow took his lack of concern as disregard of her. "The fact that you get your jollies letting bimbos paw you means nothing to me, Coop. Nothing at all!" She bit into her burger, refusing to look at him.

He frowned. Things he wanted to say crowded the tip of his tongue as all their old arguments about the rodeo poured back into his mind. He reined in his temper for Lily's sake. It made for a tense, quiet meal, and an even tenser drive to the Laundromat, where he went in alone to collect his clothes. The situation didn't improve on the trip back.

第五章

库珀怒气冲冲地离开薇洛家门廊的第二天早上，他的思绪乱极了。他后悔对薇洛出言不逊，可他就是受不了她谈起泰特，哪怕是抱怨那个人也不行。他就是弄不明白，她为什么不离开那个畜生。她说他曾经追上她把她拽回家。那次她确实想逃过。可泰特不是成天在镇上饮酒赌博吗，这是薇洛自己说的，她难道不能在别人的帮助下逃走吗？

薇洛可不是个意志薄弱的女人。她聪明，脑子好使，跟政府官僚部门打交道算得上老手。她妈妈贝尔不肯大费周折地为她父亲马文找老人中心，如果她父亲有人照顾的话，薇洛就可以上大学了。是薇洛操办了这一切。

库珀从床上起来，穿好衣服。他没吃早饭，就直接到了农场远处的一个角落。他决定先换下坏损的栅栏木桩。木桩支撑着栅栏，把牛群围在里面。这活跟他今天的脾气挺对路。地面的土质一半已经钙化。薇洛说了要把桩再打深些。他就在那儿挥动起五十磅重的大锤，拼命地打。库珀把他全身的力气都使出来，每砸下一锤，他拉紧的肌肉都一阵疼痛。可他把这个想象成将泰特的幽灵砸入地狱，这让他感到痛快。

不一会儿，库珀找到了抡锤的节奏，这让他忘记了疼痛，也让他懒得去想薇洛或泰特。正午到了，又过去了，就像她农场里沿着四周蜿蜒而行的四英尺高的铁丝栅栏。

突然她进入了库珀的视线。她的出现让他一下子就松懈了，打乱了他的步伐节奏，他还差点滑一跤。烈日当头，汗水湿透了他最后一件干净的条纹衬衫，从他隐隐作痛的背上流了下来。“有事吗？我正忙呢。”库珀摘下帽子，用一只手去擦额头的汗，他发现手掌里起了一排水泡。他试图靠意志的努力不去理会它们。可用帽子扇扇风，他的手都疼。他把夏天戴的斯泰森帽丢在地上。几头公牛聚在不远处，尾巴啪嗒啪嗒地驱赶着苍蝇。库珀焦急地等着她说话。“我送午饭来了，”薇洛说，“你没吃早饭。库珀，你不顾自己死活地弄这些栅栏，是不是中邪了？我没法站在这儿，看你自己作践你自己。”“不是你说的嘛，修好栅栏是我的第一要务。”库珀蹲下身，担心自己会晕过去，他的手腕紧紧地靠着三英尺长的铁锤柄上，默默祈求天地和薇洛不要再在他眼前旋转了。“给，喝些水。你的嘴唇已经惨白了。你想中暑吗？”薇洛从篮子里拿出热水瓶，放到她脚边，往瓶盖里倒水。

库珀用一只手颤颤巍巍地接过杯子，低着头，将凉水浇到自己因汗水而纠结在一起的头发上。他一低头，正好可以两眼平视莉莉贝尔。她也陪薇洛来了，躲在妈妈的腿后，神情严肃地盯着库珀。他想象，小姑娘绿色晶莹的眼睛里面有个老灵魂正在盯着他，这眼神好像是在骂他，至少他有这样的感觉。他哪儿能当着小孩的面跟薇洛发牢骚呢？

他后悔莫及，扭过头看着薇洛，“我想吃午饭了。稍等，等我站起来，到那片树阴下。我希望你带的午餐够我们大家一块吃。”

她把杯子从库珀的手里夺过去，拿起盖篮子的毛巾，递给库珀，要他擦擦头发和脸。就在拿毛巾的瞬间，她看见了他手上的水泡，嘘了一口气，“我的骑士，照你这样干，一天就得偃旗息鼓喽。如果现在不治水泡，准会感染的。可你的手套呢？我以为野马骑手会一箱一箱地买手套。”

库珀站起身，小心翼翼地伸开、合拢两个拳头，“我把手套放在了畜棚的鞍囊里，那里还有擦药和金缕梅。今天没骑野马，我以为用不着手套。”

薇洛哼了一声，“依我看，德拉蒙德，你是从马背上摔下来太多次把脑袋摔坏了吧。”

他有点不好意思了，但还是不畏疼痛地伸手想帮忙提篮子。

薇洛轻轻拍了下他的手背，“我明白你是个绅士，好吗？你要是在这柳条篮子上把水泡划拉破了，你就成了悲惨绅士喽。”她拿起篮子，牵上莉莉的手。“谢啦，可我还是不喜欢婆婆妈妈的。明天我就缠上纱布，戴好手套。”说话间，他间歇式地举起右臂，绕着肩膀活动，脸上露出痛苦的表情。“行啦，就看你明天早上能不能从床上爬起来吧。”薇洛一脸狐疑地说道。

他们走到那棵老橡树下。库珀放松了酸痛的身子，小心地靠着粗壮的树干。

薇洛刚才已经拾回了他扔在地上的帽子，又放在他的旁边。随即，她从篮子里取出一个小毛毯，莉莉破旧的兔子玩具也掉了下来。女孩立马就坐在毛毯上，抓起她的毛绒玩具，开始摇晃。“要是这个玩具坏了怎么办？”库珀随口问道。“别乌鸦嘴，”薇洛说道，叹口气，“我还真不知道怎么办。这个礼物，莉莉一生下来我妈妈就送给她了。要再买个一模一样的还真难。”她从篮子里拿出包起来的三明治、几个苹果和一个装着切好的蔬菜的塑料盒。她给了莉莉半个花生奶油三明治和一个果冻三明治。女孩摇头不要，她又把三明治放在餐巾上，递给库珀一个金枪鱼色拉三明治和那个蔬菜盒，然后席地盘腿而坐。“在给莉莉做检查的神经专家的办公室，有位护士给了我一本小册子，上面说了些自闭症孩子的常见症状。一些孩子会对质料、味道、气味等等作出积极或消极的反应。莉莉喜欢兔子毛茸茸的身子，柔软的棉花，法兰绒被单，甚至还有缎子毛毯的饰边。”

库珀点点头，咬了口三明治，一咽下就马上说道，“那也没什么奇怪。我就喜欢穿旧的牛仔裤。我还讨厌穿新衬衣，洗了一百次之后穿在身上才觉得心情好点了。”“我就不信你有新衣服会不穿，宁可赤身裸体，”薇洛挖苦道，“莉莉贝尔就会这样干。她每天早上就像例行公事一样，满屋子找她脱下的衣服。”“为什么她会患自闭症，薇洛？为什么是你的女儿？自闭症遗传吗？你家有家族病史吗？莫非沃克家族有？”库珀一边发出一连串疑问，一边打开薇洛递给他的第二个三明治，“如果是他们家族，我一点不觉得奇怪。”他喃喃自语。“库珀，专家们对原因都没有定论。我们看那些研究文章只会头疼。事实上，一百个专家就有一百个说法。”薇洛的肘撑在膝盖上，手抚摸着脸。

库珀不想见她伤心痛苦，“嘿，你也得吃呀。这里有干不完的活。我说，要今天能把剩下的栅栏弄好，明天我们就可以去镇上，租个高压清洗机，你再选选油漆的颜色。”“你就是听不进我说的话，库珀，”薇洛说道，“想想你听到的这些流言蜚语，你我要一块去镇上选油漆，全镇人不都信了泰特说我风流成性的谎言吗……还有更难听的。”“他们知道他是狗嘴吐不出象牙。我们干什么要去卡里索斯普林斯呀。我看，我们可以去克里斯特尔城，也没多远啦。”“那一样要花钱，库珀。”

他优哉游哉地在衬衣上擦了擦苹果。咬苹果的声音清脆悦耳。

薇洛坐在那儿，读不懂他的神情。

库珀细嚼慢咽地吞下才回头说起她关心的事，“薇洛，要单说为了你自己，你是不能接受，或者说不愿接受我的帮助。可为了莉莉，你必须接受。你不是说嘛，离开这儿，孩子的病肯定有办法治。卖掉农场就可以给你机会和选择。”“真该死，库珀！真是老奸巨猾。我承认，莉莉是我的软肋。”

他差点说出你是我的软肋，但他按捺住了自己，又咬了口多汁的苹果，借以掩饰内心涌动的情感。这还差不多，他不无懊恼地盘算着。她像伊甸园的夏娃。可他，绝不会成为她的亚当！

他慢慢地站起来，腿有点僵硬，然后使尽力气把果核扔得远远的，可差点因为用力过大疼得叫出声来。“你没事吧？”薇洛轻声问道。“没事。就是这把老骨头有点生锈了，一时适应不了干重活。”他调侃道。

她扑哧一笑，“江山易改本性难移。你总是反应很快，惯于玩弄女孩的同情心。”“有位女士不是坚持要给我医治手伤嘛。”“对啦。去克里斯特尔前，我们得处理一下伤口。”她马上命令道。“小家伙有没有儿童垫高椅呀？”

薇洛眼里闪现过一丝愧疚，“我们以前把她从医院接回家时，是有个儿童座椅的。但我知道那个不够好，可现在，她个头又长了。我们只有泰特那辆老皮卡。每次我到镇上，就让她系上安全带坐在我旁边。我也不常去。”她补充道。“我懂，那么我们得在购物单上加个儿童垫高椅喽。”库珀说。“库珀，等我把欠你的这些钱算个总数目后，我会去打两份工还你。要是我的牛群能卖个好价钱也行。”“等我把这些牛养肥了，争取卖个好价钱再说。眼下嘛，我们先回家，我要看着你把最后这个三明治吃下肚。”库珀把三明治硬塞到她手里。见莉莉正吃着，他往后一靠，等着她俩吃完。看着薇洛用水瓶里的水打湿餐巾，擦净女儿手上和脸上残留的果冻，他一阵揪心。

薇洛照顾她残疾的父亲那么多年，不过她在大学里是很喜欢与人交往的。现在她的生活又变得苦大仇深起来。这对她不公平。可谁敢说生活就一定是公平的呢？

快到房子了，薇洛要库珀把手头有的消毒纱布都拿来，“我不确定我的药箱里有没有。”她说。

他朝牲口棚走，她往主屋走，放下了野餐篮。他不急不慢地洗漱好，换好衣服，然后到门廊那儿去见她，“哦，这些纱布很好，很厚实。”她说着，从他的急救箱里取出一包纱布，示意他坐在最上面的台阶上。

她跪下来，弯下腰检查他手上的伤口。库珀注意到，她松开了马尾巴，还换了衣服。她给他处理手上的水泡时，她纤细的金发发梢弄得他脸痒痒的。淡淡的香水味，头发的感觉，双手摩挲抚弄的舒服感，让库珀兴奋紧张起来。刹那间，旧情向他席卷而来。幸好她给他手上的水泡倒了金缕梅，不然他准会抚摸她的面颊，然后把一切都搞砸了。两个裂口的水泡疼得钻心，他痛得一下站了起来。“我的……我的老天！”他叫道，粗话说到一半又改了口，一边挣脱了薇洛的手。“不好意思。”她晃晃悠悠地站起来，一双阴郁的眼睛看着他，“我没想到有的水泡已经破了。”

他一挥手，咬咬牙，因为他看见莉莉抓住妈妈的手臂，在盯着他看，“没事，”他安慰小孩，“把我给吓了一跳，没事。”他这么说也可以理解为平息自己作为男人的冲动，结果也很奏效。他庆幸自己当时没抚摸薇洛。他已经很久不碰女人了，这也可以解释为什么当她靠近时他会有如此强烈的反应。反正，薇洛继续给他包扎伤口时，他跟自己是这么解释的。

她站起来，把胶带、剩余的消毒纱布、防腐剂和剪刀放回药箱，再把药箱搁在橙色板条箱上，“药箱就搁这儿，明早还要换药。明天，你得戴上手套，好吗？”

一边点头，库珀一边弯曲他的手指，“一两天就恢复了。我以前受过更严重的伤——比如骑上很顽劣的竞技赛马，会留下被绳子磨破的伤痕。有一次绳子完全磨穿了我的皮手套，”他说道，“我还见识过有的竞技赛手被马摔到地上或者绳子勒得太紧，连手指都弄没了。”

她打了个寒战，“看，我就是不明白，为什么有人会迷上竞技赛。”“刺激，让自己跟一千三百磅的动物抗衡。要是参加公牛竞技赛，或许还有两千磅的。”“要是落个终生残疾，或者更惨，一命呜呼了，刺激在哪儿？”

他们朝皮卡车走着，库珀侧头看着她，骄傲地伸伸胳膊，咧嘴一笑，“我给你展示展示。我是缺胳膊少腿了，还是没命了？”

薇洛的眼睛从头到脚掠过库珀，“问题是，你能远离竞技赛吗？妈妈跟我说，她生我时让爸爸退出比赛。可就在你说的什么刺激的诱惑下，他又回到了竞技场。我觉得，拿二十年的轮椅生活去换所谓的刺激一点也不值当。”

库珀不言语。他打开车门，让她把莉莉安顿在后座。他托着薇洛上了前排客座，她轻得很，吓他一跳。他的双手几乎可以合抱住她的细腰。托起她时，她的衣服往上跑，库珀想，幸好自己戴了手套，要不然他就触摸到她的皮肤了。

他竭力让自己沉浸在昔日的怨恨中，可眼前的一件件事偏要将他的怨恨驱逐打消。他得有个底线。出于过去的交情，帮助薇洛说得过去；但自己又迷恋上她，那纯粹是犯傻。在和他吻别之后没隔几周，薇洛竟然就嫁给了泰特。库珀拿捏不准，他内心是不是完全原谅了她。

他开着车，没吱声，想着自个儿的心思。

有人给她开车，薇洛很满足。她望着窗外，火辣辣的太阳照耀这一片沙漠风光。车后尘土飞扬，飘过公路两旁的灌木丛。

库珀先意识到车里的安静。他拉下遮阳板，从里面拿出张CD。很快，优美动听的乡村乐从车里的超大低音扬声器中传出。他调了两次音量，随后看见莉莉跟着流氓弗拉德乐队的歌曲《我融化》的节拍摇头晃脑。库珀的肩终于放松了些，他碰了碰薇洛的胳膊，下巴朝后努了努。

她转过头，“我还以为她睡着了。”“没有，她在感受音乐。”“我不知道，库珀。她经常摇头晃脑的。以前我有个收音机，可我不记得她来什么时候停下来听过音乐。”薇洛皱皱眉，“她这样让我很难过。”她喃喃道，咬着嘴唇，关切地看着莉莉。

她声音里流露出的伤心使他感觉喉咙哽了一块东西。他还是克制住了自己，说道，“我讨厌你这种万事皆休的口气。你说过，有好多地方可以治疗莉莉贝尔的病嘛。”“我说不好治疗这个词恰不恰当。巴克斯特女士所说的学校，它的教学计划是针对多种有学习障碍的孩子，并非所有的孩子都患有自闭症。有的是狂躁和抑郁症状交替的，有的是阅读障碍症，多动症，或阿斯伯格综合征，这是一种高功能自闭症。我信不过他们说的治愈率。”“什么？还有这种事，治愈率未经检测证明就在医学界做广告宣传了吗？”“也许吧，”薇洛揉了揉眉毛间的小皱纹，“学费一年得花一万六到一万八。”

库珀唏嘘道，“差不多大学一学期的学费了。”“凭我的经济能力只有望洋兴叹了。这也是我感觉挫败的理由吧。我想给她最好的治疗，可我近来老感到希望渺茫。”“希望总是有的。”他安慰道。驶过卡里索斯普林斯时，库珀开慢了些，等朝克里斯特尔城驶去的时候，他便加快了速度。车里再次响起音乐。“啊，太好了。还有个大百货商店，”库珀说道，指向城郊区一个庞大的建筑，“我们可以给莉莉买个垫高椅，看看油漆，说不准还能买到高压水流冲洗机。我先把衣服丢到自动洗衣店，再去找油漆店。我估摸，等我们忙完了，衣服就洗好了。我们再找个地方吃晚饭，一边等烘干机烘干衣服。”

薇洛转身盯着他，“你没说要在这儿吃饭，库珀。你可以在我家洗衣服呀。”“干什么呢？整天围着热烘烘的火炉，难道就不想解放一个晚上吗？”“那倒不是，不过，我还从没带莉莉下过馆子，库珀。她一直都不擅长应对新环境，她会紧张焦虑。有时我真想钻到她的脑子里，去看看那儿到底怎么回事。”她双手交叉，库珀没见到她手上有戒指。莫非她卖家当的时候，一起也把钻戒当了？“我不想给你俩压力，薇洛。我习惯了自动洗衣店。吃饭嘛，甭担心——我没计划烛光晚餐加美酒。我们就买点汉堡包，在车上吃。”“啊，那不错。我嘛……可以说，我不习惯到镇上冲动购物。有时控制不住了，那是真想买东西了。这并不是说，我不感激你为我做的这一切，库珀。”

吃不准她说的是真是假，库珀把车停下来，绕过来给她开了门。他扶着薇洛下了车，把座椅往前移了移，解开莉莉的安全带，正要抱她出来。小孩吓得往后一缩，肚子一挺，大哭大闹。“我还没碰到她。”库珀说，无助地瞟了薇洛一眼。“没事。”她让开他，自己探身到车里，小声细语地安慰着，小女孩的哭声渐弱，变成了抽泣。这时，薇洛把孩子弄出来，抱在怀里。

库珀觉得尴尬。因为自己的鲁莽和粗心大意吓到了莉莉，他很伤心。

薇洛见他不安地摆弄着钥匙，并且一下变得沉默寡言，“库珀，别以为她不喜欢你了。我先跟你说过的，这是抗拒改变的另一种表现。要自闭症孩子改变点什么，要花上几小时、几天、几周，有时几个月的重复练习。你惊吓到她了，就这么简单。”

在超市自动入口处，库珀站一旁，让薇洛进去，“来辆购物车？”他问，“我们可以推两辆购物车。你买儿童垫高座椅，我去五金区买高压冲洗机和清单上的其他东西。”“我不想一个人。这地方太大，我怕迷路。”她说。其实，薇洛是要库珀决定他愿意买多贵的垫高座椅。打她结婚起，无论买什么，归根结底都是价钱问题。她一想起库珀和泰特一样公然指责她，她就堵得慌。可有个小小的声音在提醒她，别把泰特跟库珀混为一谈。她怎么能呢？库珀从来都是善解人意、心地善良的。

商店里人头攒动，货物塞得满满的，他俩仍飞快地穿梭其中。库珀要买的是五金类。在儿童区，他找到了垫高座椅，但他马上就问薇洛，“买这个我不在行。好像所有的座椅都说，包用七年，卖价七十磅。”

薇洛看了看库珀说的厂家的标签，“有些州对座椅有严格的法律规定。莉莉早就不能用以前的婴儿座椅了。泰特——唉，抱歉又提到他，我知道你不想我说到他——可他说过，所有新颁布的法律条文就是让消费者多掏腰包。”

库珀嘴一瘪，“依我看，那是为了救命的。你想不想给莉莉买那种可以坐在里面的座椅，还有填充翼可以保护她的头？”

薇洛让她试了三种座椅。女孩显然最喜欢最柔软的那一款，填料最充实。她一直在抚摸座椅的面料。这款也是档次最高、价格最贵的一款。薇洛提醒了库珀价格，并且说道，“库珀，哪一款都行，好过现在什么都没有。这阵子你也没挣钱。反正，你又没责任给我女儿买座椅。”“该死，不许胡言乱语，薇洛。我知道我付得起什么价钱。”库珀拿起莉莉中意的座椅，“这一款保护功能最好，对吧？应该用的时间最长吧？”

薇洛遇见了库珀灼热的目光，真诚地要她拿主意，“我觉得这个最好，因为她喜欢这感觉，坐上去就不会又吵又闹。”“行！”库珀把座椅放进购物车，“这事搞定了。接下来找自动洗衣店、油漆店，还有吃的。”

结账台排着长队。莉莉夹在人群和货箱之间，有点烦躁不安。库珀见了，拿出皮卡车钥匙，“我们没必要都在这儿耗着。我来付钱，一会儿停车场见。”

库珀的体贴，让薇洛为之动容，她脸上闪现出少见的微笑。她把女儿带到午后的阳光里，一个念头一闪而过：这才是家的温馨。夫妻和和气气地商量买东西，一起拿主意，什么事都齐心协力。她从未体验到这样的家，到今天也没有。她感到痛心。五年前她把他推出了自己的生活。眼下，他也只在这里呆几天。过多地依靠他一点也不明智。

四十分钟后，他们站在油漆店，商量各种颜色，这些念头又回到她的脑海，“你说过，灰色加蓝色饰边，“薇洛对库珀说，”我觉得可以，可见到这么多种不同的灰色，我反而看花眼了。我平时不会这么举棋不定。”“我说，你喷漆是为了好出手，又不是自己长期住，自己住肯定要好好选喜欢的颜色。”“也是。那我们就用浮木灰和殖民蓝。”她把样板递给候着的店员。店员看到库珀的信用卡，就称他俩为德拉蒙德先生和德拉蒙德太太。一股暖意油然而生。薇洛没吭声，以为库珀会纠正小伙子，但库珀没有。就这样一路下来，买油漆、到自动洗衣店放衣服、找汉堡包店，一直给人一种家的感觉。

菜谱上品种不多，薇洛给她和莉莉选好了，库珀说：“我去下单，你再挑个位子，你觉得合适莉莉就行。”

薇洛挑了个靠窗的座位坐下，就看见五个年轻女人从一辆雪弗兰里鱼贯而出。薇洛注意到，她们都是一身俗丽的西部打扮，亮闪闪的T恤，铆钉牛仔裤，再配上昂贵的靴子。她们破门而入，谈笑风生，旁若无人，引起了薇洛的注意。

她一下就被激怒了，因为其中一个留着黑色长发的女人在柜台看见了库珀，高兴地尖叫起来，“你是库珀·德拉蒙德，今年全国野马骑手冠军！姑娘们，真是他。哇哦，给个亲笔签名吧。签这儿。”她嗲声嗲气地说道，从包里拿出只笔递给库珀，同时把V字领的衬衣拉开露出挺拔的左乳。

薇洛盼着库珀别理那些闹嚷嚷的女人，因为他们的饭菜已经准备齐了。可他没有这么做。相反，他就让这群女人这么围着他，笑声朗朗，犹如维苏威火山爆发。薇洛看着他脸上挂着胜利者的微笑给她们在不同的身体部位上签名——尽管给那位穿V领衬衫的只签在了手臂上。那群女人在那儿喊着嚷着他那些取胜的记录。时间一分一秒地过去，点餐台上的食物快凉了。女人们还在讨好奉承库珀，聊着竞技赛。

莉莉开始啜泣，所以薇洛起身，穿过餐厅，端起他们的托盘回到桌旁。

库珀看到她，开始摆脱这群叽叽喳喳的粉丝。这个五重组合见到她们的偶像和一个女人和小孩坐到一起，终于明白过了，注意力转移到了这个靠窗的餐桌。

薇洛已经打开莉莉的鸡肉条，正在哄着她吃。库珀还在美滋滋的呢。她不想说尖刻的话，可言语态度还是带出那股味，“真出风头。竞技赛牛仔和他的追星族。我怎么不觉得你想离开竞技赛。”

库珀没办法一下子从刚刚的亢奋中缓过劲来。他承认，粉丝的热情和观众的喝彩欢呼是竞技赛的魅力之一。粉丝的追捧是有地域性的，“我想不明白哪儿惹你生气了。对热心的粉丝而言，收集签名是件有趣无害的事，”他说，“我虽然离开了竞技赛，可时日不长，那些铁杆粉丝还记得我。”

薇洛认为库珀这么不以为然是对她的轻视，“库珀，你让那些娘们亲近你，自得其乐，跟我没什么关系。一点关系都没有！”她咬了口汉堡包，扭头不看他。

他皱皱眉。他俩过去因为竞技赛而引发的口角涌入记忆，好多话他欲言又止。为了莉莉，他克制住自己的情绪。一顿饭吃得紧紧张张，没了言语。开车到了自动洗衣店，气氛更显得紧张，他自个儿下车取了衣服。就是在回家的路上，情形也没有缓和的迹象。

Chapter Six

Halfway to the ranch Coop wanted to break their silence in the worst way. It wasn't just that Willow was freezing him out by ignoring him. He'd begun to feel bad about participating in the juvenile antics back at the restaurant. He understood how it probably looked to a nonrodeo bystander. Those fans were kind of over the top. Admittedly that was part of what he'd grown tired of, even though it went with the whooping and hollering of a rodeo aftermath when scores and buckles were handed out.

Plain and simple, Willow disliked rodeos. Period. Plus, she'd insinuated that Tate screwed around with other women during their marriage. That was disgusting. Coop had enjoyed sexual favors from select women along the circuit, but he was single. His dad had drilled into him and Sully that it was okay to sow wild oats before a man committed to one woman in marriage. But Matt Drummond had loved his wife beyond his till death-do-us-part vow. Coop had never seen his father look at, or flirt with, another woman.

"I'm sorry, Willow," he said abruptly, but in all earnestness.

Stirring, she glanced at him in surprise. "For what? Shh, lower your voice. Lily's asleep."

He took a peek over his shoulder. Sure enough, the girl's head lay propped against the generous wing of her new booster seat. She still clutched the disreputable- looking rabbit in the crook of one arm, but her face was softly relaxed. Her eyelashes curved like half-moons along pale, blue-veined cheeks. "She looks like an angel," he murmured as he forgot what he'd planned to apologize for.

Willow followed the line of Coop's sight. Her own lips slowly relaxed into a mother's loving smile. "I had so many hopes and dreams for her. I hate, hate, hate that I can't wave my hand and make her whole, make her well."

Coop swallowed a lump that didn't want to be dislodged from his throat. He never expected to feel so protective toward another man's child. Well, maybe toward his brother's son. But never Tate Walker's kid, especially considering the years of bad blood between them.

"I can see the way it's tearing you up, Willow."

She turned her face away to stare out the passenger window. "My heart breaks over and over. I have to pick up the pieces every time she falls apart and try to knit them back together again. Whatever the cause of her impairments, they're not her fault, and she deserves a mother who's strong enough to be her advocate."

"And you are," Coop said emphatically. He swung off the main road. The Ram bumped over the ruts carved into the gravel in front of Willow's house.

She didn't wait for him to round the hood and play the gentleman. She hopped out and unbuckled Lily's seat belt, then headed to the house with the girl hoisted on her narrow shoulder before Coop had even cleared the front bumper.

"Do you need help?" he called out.

"Thanks, but no. I've got her. It's been a long day. It's past her bedtime. And mine," Willow said as she unlocked the door. "If you're still around tomorrow, we'll probably see you."

Coop stood for a moment, arms akimbo. What the hell did she mean she'd see him if he was still around tomorrow? Hadn't he just bought a power sprayer and ten gallons of paint? And didn't he have a fence to finish, plus a list of other chores?

Anger exploded in a red haze in front of his eyes then receded. A gold moon, the size of a beach ball, winked through the leafy oaks, and stars carpeted the night sky above, giving off enough light to unload the back of his pickup. Twinges of pain from his blistered palms reminded him of all the work he'd already done for Willow as he hauled the sprayer and paint cans to the side of her house.

He didn't know if he had it in him to keep batting at her objections to his help. He removed the booster seat from his pickup and strapped it into the rusted old Chevy Willow drove. The dash had cracked from the sun, and her vinyl seats were torn, with stuffing exposed in several spots. Was the damned thing even safe for her and Lily? he wondered, kicking at a tire to see if it held enough air. Worrying about them could drive him crazy. He retrieved the box that held his clean laundry and scuffed rocks out of his path on his way to the barn. He fed his horsesand checked on the cattle, letting the cooling night breeze soothe his nervesas he hung his damp laundry over the stalls to dry. Too keyed up to go to bed, he dug out the magazines he'd bought earlier and read both articles on autismbefore he turned in for the night.

Tomorrow was another day, he thought as he stripped and settled down on his sleeping bag.

WILLOW HAD TOLD Cooper she was going to bed. She felt on edge and wasn't in the least sleepy. She didn't know what had made her go off on Coop like a shrew. She'd claimed that how he acted or with whom was none of her business, which was true. But, it hurt all the same, darn it.

Imbued with restless energy, she brewed a cup of herbal tea, then went into cleaning mode. It was her way of coping when she couldn't sleep or had problems on her mind. Willow scrubbed the floors, straightened the cupboards and polished the counters. Her thoughts wandered and she faced the fact that she kept telling Coop to go away, all the while wanting him to stay.

After her little fit today he'd probably decide she wasn't worth the effort. And really, was she? She'd let her tea go cold, so she reheated the water and plopped in a new tea bag. Idly stirring in a spoon full of honey, she mentally drew up a list of pros and cons, trying to view the situation from Coop's perspective.

To her discomfort, she couldn't come up with one thing about herself that he'd put in a pro column. He'd come here innocently, or so he swore, expecting to be hired for a few days by some woman in need of ranch help. What did he find? Her. That was like his past rising up to mock him. She and her ranch were in worse than poor shape. She lacked the tools with which to make repairs and then didn't even serve decent food to a hardworking man. The lineup of cons lengthened. Add to it the fact that, after he'd shelled out his money on her and Lily, she'd given him a tongue-lashing for something over which he had no control.

But that was what bothered her—he could have politely walked away from those women. It was embarrassing, watching him sign their bodies. And what had he said? That it was harmless fun for fans to collect autographs? On pieces of paper. Oh, why was she blaming them? Coop was nothing short of gorgeous. He had those long, lean muscles women loved. And that cowboy walk. Few women could pass up a second look if a real cowboy sauntered by. And with Coop, part of the package was his curly brown hair and coffee- colored eyes.... He was a man women wanted. Willow should know; she'd wanted him. But she'd given him up because of her fears, which at the time had been more consuming than her love for him.

Returning to the sink, Willow dumped her barely touched second cup of tea. Their pasts didn't matter now. Both of their lives had taken so many twists and turns, it would be too difficult to right old wrongs.

Exhausted from the long, traumatic day, she got ready for bed. It remained to be seen if Coop would pack up and head down the road before dawn.

The following morning, she saw that his pickup was still parked next to the barn, so Willow set out his breakfast. She fed Lily and listened for Coop's tread on the porch. Hearing it at last, she held her breath and waited for him to knock and say he was leaving. The knock never came. Eventually she heard him ride out dragging the wooden sled he'd cobbled together the other day. Pulling aside the curtain, she saw that the sled was piled high with feed for the cattle.

She stifled her sigh of relief, then tried to ignore a surge of joy. He was free to stay or go. She'd managed okay since Tate's death. And she would continue to until a buyer showed up.

Just because Coop gave her another day's work didn't mean she could dawdle around. She'd pull her weight. He'd said the whole house needed to be power-washed before it could be painted. That sounded simple enough. If she did that herself, maybe Coop would have time to fix the underpinnings of the porch. She'd examined the rotten timbers in that corner, and repairing it was beyond her.

Willow opened the boxes holding the pieces of the power sprayer and took out the directions. She spread a blanket under the shade tree and gave Lily the three empty boxes to play with. Assembling the contraption took time, but it went together without a problem. Willow congratulated herself for not having any parts left over. Satisfied, she connected the hose to the back faucet, watched the unit fill, then turned it on. The force knocked her sideways. She tried to hang on, but the hose bucked and danced around like an angry snake. It spun in her hands and turned back on her, drenching her face, hair and clothing. "Yikes! Oh, yikes," she yelped as the now-slick hose jerked out of her grasp and began bouncing about, spraying everything but the house. She cried out again, dived after it, caught hold and, thinking she was turning the sprayer off, actually kicked it up to the next level of pressure. Because she'd aimed the nozzle at the siding, the power of the water blew her backward. Her feet flew out and she landed in the mud. She scrambled to her knees, all the while yelling at the contraption.

Coop heard her. He mounted up, tore down the hill and across the yard. Leaping off the horse, he grabbed the wildly swinging sprayer head and wrenched the faucet to the off position.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he shouted, extending a hand to Willow, who still sat mired in water and mud.

Lilybelle dropped the biggest box and toddled toward her mother, dragging her rabbit. Not wanting her to get mud all over her favorite toy, Coop flung aside the sprayer and scooped up Lily. She didn't cry as he feared she would.

It took him a minute to figure out Willow wasn't shaking from tears, but instead she was laughing—so hard she held her sides with mud-streaked arms.

She tried to get up, but slipped to her knees again. Coop gingerly set the child down in a dry spot, and then helped Willow out of the muck. "I heard you yelling like a banshee. It scared the hell out of me," he said. "I'm glad to see you're not hurt, but I'll be darned if I see the humor in wallowing in a mudhole at 7:00 a.m."

Still holding her sides, acting on the spur of the moment, Willow plastered both muddy hands on Coop's chest, streaking his clean shirt. "Now who's all uptight and too serious?" she asked, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Hey," he said, "I just washed this shirt yesterday."

"Oh, Coop, if you'd seen the whole thing you'd laugh, too. I'm sure I could've gone on America's Funniest Home Videos. I swear it felt as if that sprayer was alive."

"In hindsight," he said, "it was kind of amusing. Or it would've been it you hadn't yelled like you were being attacked."

"Sorry, it felt like I was being attacked. And here I was trying to be so helpful," she lamented, holding her mud-covered arms out from her equally muddy sides while she inspected the damage.

"If I'd known you were going to use the sprayer I wouldn't have bought the most powerful one they had. It's a commercial unit designed to spray with enough force to dislodge moss in the grooves of the siding. To use it full force, you need to stand farther away from the house."

"I figured that out, but then I couldn't shut it off and I couldn't hang on. Heavens, I'm a mess. I'll go clean up and try again."

"In the meantime, I'll do the back wall. Hey," he said. "Did you notice Lily B let me pick her up without making a fuss?"

"I missed that. I didn't know she'd left the boxes. She loves boxes. She can put her toy rabbit in a box and remove him a thousand times without tiring of the game. It's another quirk of her autism."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't be heartened by the fact that she didn't kick and bawl?"

Sorrow flickered across Willow's face. "Bless you for wanting to interact with her, Coop. Fear is her usual reaction whenever she faces a new experience. I guess it means she's getting used to seeing you around here."

"I suppose so. The magazine article I read says there are activities that work on the neuropathways in the autistic child's brain. According to the doctor who wrote it, some kids can make marked progress in areas of speech, cognition and facial expression."

"Oh, I hope so. That's why I'm praying for a buyer to drop into my lap."

"Well, I have about fifty more fence posts to set, the cattle are chowing down, adding weight every day, and if the siding dries quickly, we can paint soon. Then you can call your Realtor to come take another gander at the place. It might sell quicker if you'd lower your price."

"After I deduct what I owe you from the sale of steers and the property, Coop, I hope there'll be enough left for me to move somewhere I can find a good- paying job and a school for Lily. A day school. Not the boarding type."

"I don't recall asking to be paid back."

"I wouldn't feel right taking so much money from you." She held up a hand when Coop opened his mouth to argue again. "I need to go clean up. We'll hash this out later. You've spent the money already, but please don't spend any more," she said, glancing at Lily, who was back playing with her boxes.

Coop cranked up the sprayer after Willow shut the back door. He wondered how he'd feel in her place. Having a history such as theirs probably made accepting favors from him more difficult. He examined his motives for shelling out substantial bucks on her. He was depleting his bank account, but he couldn't quite explain why. He only knew he couldn't walk away and leave Willow and her child when they needed so much help.

He'd finished washing the back of the house by the time she emerged again. She looked fresh and scrubbed, and he thought her eyes had fewer worry lines around them than they had the first day he'd come upon her chasing those wayward steers. He compared how appealing she was right now to the duded-up, expensively styled women at the restaurant yesterday. Clamping down on his back teeth, Coop motioned with the sprayer and showed her how to regulate the pressure with a dial on the water container.

"Oh, I saw that when I assembled the unit, but I figured the tank would fill faster if it was fully open."

"Well, if you've never operated one of these before, all the moving parts take some getting used to."

Willow's gaze strayed to the blanket. "Coop, where's Lily?"

"I don't know. She was there a minute ago." He pushed up his sunglasses and scanned the area beneath the tree where she'd been sitting. The boxes lay there, but both the girl and her rabbit were gone.

"Weren't you watching her?" Willow asked.

He frowned. "You didn't ask me to."

"I assumed you would." Willow's voice rose in panic as she whirled one way, then the other. "She never wanders off. But you're right. It's my fault." Willow ran around the corner of the house.

"It's no one's fault," Coop said, putting the sprayer down before jogging to catch up. "She probably followed you inside."

"I didn't see her."

"Go look again. She could've gotten hot and thirsty."

Willow's eyes reflected nothing but fear. "Lily doesn't think like that, Cooper. I have to remind her about those kinds of basic wants and needs." She rushed up the back steps and hurried into the house.

Coop walked over to the trees. At first he worried that she might have gone into the woods, but the underbrush was thick and nothing looked disturbed. No twigs bent or broken. He turned as Willow ran back out.

"She's not inside." Alarm raised the volume of Willow's voice. "She's never gone off by herself. Oh, God, Coop, where could she be?"

"Did you check her favorite spot on the front porch? I'm sure I would've seen her if she went around past me. But she could've gone through the house."

"Yes, I did look there. Would you have noticed if she went toward the barn?" Willow shaded her eyes against the bright afternoon sun.

"Yes, and the same if she'd headed for the road."

"That leaves the meadow where you've been working on the fence," Willow said, breaking into a run.

"Hold on. Let's ride up there on Legend," Coop shouted. "We'll cover the ground faster."

"Okay, but hurry, please! The pond's on the way. And Lily has no fear of water." Willow's voice broke. "I wasn't gone ten minutes. She usually sits in one spot for hours."

He swung into the saddle and rode to where Willow was charging up the hill. Coop leaned down, caught her around the waist and swung her up to sit in front of him. Touching his heels to the gelding, they trotted off.

"Go faster, will you?"

"The ground's full of gopher holes. It's too easy for a horse to break a leg. Anyway, if we go more slowly, we can both keep our eyes peeled. She was wearing a red shirt and orange pants, right? She should stand out from quite a distance."

"She'd wear that same outfit day in and day out if I'd let her."

"I've noticed she likes that shirt." Coop zigzagged the horse to cover more territory. "You need a dog. One trained to watch over Lily. A service dog."

"Like I need one more mouth to feed. Don't you buy her a dog, Cooper. Oh, where is she?" Willow twisted from side to side. "Could she have come this far? How long was she out of your sight?"

"I wish I knew. Damn, I should've grabbed my binoculars from the pickup."

"Coop!" Willow grabbed the saddle horn and glanced back at him, her color draining. "The herd is coming down to the pond for water. What if she accidentally crosses their path? She could be trampled!"

"Don't borrow trouble, Willow."

"Easy for you to say. She's not your daughter."

"Do you think that makes me care any less?" Even as the statement left his lips, Coop recognized that it was true.

Willow went still as Coop's arms tightened around her waist. Heat from his body surrounded her. It was comforting in a way she hadn't experienced in a long, long while.

"I didn't mean to insult you, Coop. All I meant was that mothers and their children share a special bond from birth. And... and I'm panicking."

"Me, too. I'm sure she was on the blanket when I went to shut off the water at the faucet. Then poof, you noticed she was gone. Willow, look! To your left. By that broken rail fence. Under the redbud tree. It's Lily. She's sitting in a patch of flowers nearly as high as her head."

"I see her!" Willow let out a low cry of heartfelt relief and struggled to get down from the horse.

Reining in, Coop swung down, reached up and lifted Willow to the ground. She slid the length of his body, and ever so briefly they clasped each other, sharing an instant of joy.

Coop came close to whooping and spinning her around. As he held her close he met her eyes and saw the questions flickering there. Questions about his hug and his body's automatic reaction. Those were questions Coop wasn't prepared to answer. He attributed his purely male response to the emotions involved in Lily's disappearance. Emotions they'd shared during the ride. Making more of it pushed things farther than they should go. He'd dismissed those old feelings years ago. Releasing her, Coop stepped back. "Go," he said gruffly. "Get her home. I'll steer the herd away, then work on the fence until suppertime."

"Sure. All right." Willow stumbled in her haste to not only reach Lily, but also hide the inappropriate response that had welled up in her unexpectedly. She knew better. Knew Coop didn't feel about her the way she'd always felt about him. She ran toward her daughter, deciding that any relationship with Cooper Drummond was just too complicated.

Reaching the child, Willow dropped to her knees. If only she could pour out her pent-up feelings by hugging her. But Lily didn't enjoy close contact. And she disliked being interrupted.

"Hiya, babe." Willow sat back and let her pounding heart slow as she joined her daughter in picking wildflowers. "You haven't the faintest idea that you scared your mama half to death. And Coop, too. His hide's not so tough when it comes to you." Willow glanced toward him and couldn't resist a half smile.

FROM ACROSS THE FIELD, Coop turned the milling herd to the upper end of the pond. His eyes strayed often to the pair seated amid the colorful flowers. Sunlight broke through branches of the redbud tree to form crowns of light around the two on the ground. The woman's blond hair was a pale cloud in the dancing light, while the child's shone with an almond-brown luster.

Coop's stomach tensed when he saw Willow tilt back her head, her neck white and inviting. He thought he heard her laughter as she set a circle of flowers on Lily's curls.

An invisible hand seemed to grab his heart, squeezing it. How could Tate—how could any man—not feel privileged to have them as his family? Now that the worry for Lily's safety was over, Coop realized how frightened he'd been.

Cursing under his breath, he pulled on his gloves and picked up a sledgehammer, what he felt for Willow and Tate Walker's daughter confused him. He would never have imagined he could feel such a connection to Tate's child. The next time he looked up, Willow and Lily were gone and the sun dipped low in the west, streaking the horizon with the same gold that reminded him of Willow's hair.

He'd hammered out most of his anxieties by afternoon's end. He hadn't fully reconciled all his confusion, but maybe he'd stepped over the hard line he thought he'd drawn to separate him from the old feelings he'd held for Willow. He began to head downhill so he could clean up for supper. Maybe it was time to test his rekindled interest in the lady of the house.

AFTER FILLING HIS BELLY, Coop took out his guitar. He was feeling a lot more mellow and his mood led him to play a series of love songs. He heard the screen door open and stopped strumming "Dream a Little Dream of Me." Cooper expected to see Willow, but it was Lily watching him. He continued to play and she edged nearer as he softened the chords. A moment later she set her hand on his knee and cocked her head as if to absorb the sound. Afraid to break the spell he nevertheless changed tempo. She seemed to like the more energetic beat; her eyes brightened, and Coop saw the corners of her lips curve up in a smile. It was the first time he'd seen any change in her expression, and he got so excited, he forgot to play.

From inside, Willow called out for Lily. She burst through the door and grabbed the girl. "There you are, honey bunny," she exclaimed, relief in her shaky voice.

"Willow." Coop caught her hand. "Lily came out to listen to my music. She walked right up and put her hand on my knee and then... she smiled."

"Cooper, stop it. I know I accused you of allowing her to run off and I'm sorry. But there's no need to make up stories to appease me. I'm well aware that Lily doesn't react to what goes on around her. And what happened today reinforces that I need to be even more vigilant and not let her out of my sight."

Coop put his guitar back in its case. He heard Willow's pain, and because of that he made an effort to sound reasonable. "Why would I lie to you, Willow? I swear Lily likes music. And... maybe she likes me," he said, feeling a little defensive. However, he might as well have been talking to the wind. Willow went into the house, shutting the door, shutting him out.

第六章

在回农场的半道上，库珀非常想打破沉默。不仅仅是因为薇洛不理睬他，把他晾在一边；就他自己也开始觉得，在餐馆里跟那伙小年轻瞎起哄不好。他明白在不关注竞技赛的旁观者眼里那幅场景是怎么样的。那些粉丝确实是有点过分了。无可否认，这正是让他烦腻的，虽说这是比赛成绩宣布和奖章颁发后人们喧闹庆祝的惯例。

事情明摆着，薇洛讨厌竞技赛。就这么回事。还有，她也曾露出点口风，泰特在婚后曾和别的女人鬼混。这真让人恶心。参加竞技赛时，库珀也和自己中意的女人做爱，可他那时是单身。他老爹就曾给萨利和他灌输过，男人在和女人缔结终身之前可以放荡不羁。但马特·德拉蒙德爱他的妻子，直到天荒地老，海枯石烂。库珀从未见过他的父亲瞄过哪个女人，或跟哪个女人打情骂俏。“对不起，薇洛。”他突然道，语气十分诚恳。

她微微动了动，吃惊地瞥了他一眼，“有什么对不起的？嘘，小点声。莉莉睡着了。”

他回头瞥了一眼。没错，女孩的头枕着宽松的垫高座椅靠背，手里还抓着那只破烂不堪的兔子，可她的脸却恬静放松。她的睫毛弯弯的，像半个月亮挂在脸上，白皙的脸青筋可见。“真像个天使。”他喃喃道，忘了自己该道什么歉。

薇洛顺着库珀的视线望去，她的嘴唇慢慢地绽露出充满母爱的微笑，“我对她寄予了多少希望和梦想啊。我恨、恨、恨死自己回天无术，不能让她健健康康的。”

库珀喉头发紧，硬是把口水吞了下去。他从未想到自己会这样关心别人的孩子。好吧，或许他应该关心他哥哥的儿子，但绝不是泰特的小孩，尤其是一想起他俩这些年的恩恩怨怨。“薇洛，我知道你有多痛苦。”

她扭头凝视窗外，“我的心一次又一次地被伤透了。我的心碎了，自己还得把它们拾掇起来，重新捏合。不管是什么病因，都不是她的错。她应该有个足够坚强可以保护她的母亲。”“你够坚强了。”库珀语气肯定地说。他驶离了主干道，车在薇洛屋前凹凸不平的道上颠簸行进。

她没等他绕过来再当回绅士就跳下了车。库珀还没清理干净前保险杠，她已经解了莉莉的安全带，把女儿举在窄窄的肩上，朝屋里走去。“要搭把手不？”他喊道。“谢了，不用。我能行。忙活一天了，早过了她睡觉的时间了，我也是。”薇洛边说边开门，“你明天要是没走，我们也许会见到你。”

库珀站了会，双手叉腰。明天不走还会见着我。她这到底是什么意思？难道不是他刚买了高压冲洗机，还有十加仑油漆吗？他还有栅栏要修，还有好多杂七杂八的活要干，这还有假吗？

他怒气冲天，随即又消退了。一轮金色的月亮，大如沙滩排球，透过枝盛叶茂的橡树向他眨眼。夜空中点缀着繁星点点。借着夜色，他把皮卡车后箱的货卸下，把高压冲洗机和一桶桶油漆拖到了薇洛的屋旁。手掌上水泡破裂，阵阵刺痛，让他想起为薇洛所做的一切。

他不知道薇洛一直拒绝他，自己还能坚持多久。他卸下垫高座椅，把它安在薇洛开的雪佛兰上。车旧了，生了锈，仪表板晒裂了，乙烯基座椅破了，几处填充物裸露在外。她和莉莉坐这破车安全吗？他不知道。他踢了一脚轮胎，看有没有气。她们的安全问题简直让他发疯。他取回装着干净衣服的盒子，回到牲口棚，一路上用脚踢开道上的石子。他喂了马，查看了牛群，把湿衣服挂在柱子上，让风吹干，也让夜晚的凉风松弛松弛他的神经。他神经紧绷，完全没有睡意。他翻出先前买的杂志，读了那两篇有关自闭症的文章，才上床睡觉。

明天又是新的一天，他想着，一边脱了衣服钻进睡袋。

薇洛告诉库珀她要休息了。可她心神不宁，毫无睡意。她弄不懂自己为何要像凶巴巴的悍妇一样对库珀。她明明说过，他要干什么以及跟谁在一起，与她没什么关系，也确实如此。可讨厌的是，这些事总让她受伤。

她焦躁不安，身上有使不完的劲儿，煮了壶茶，开始清洁房间。她一失眠或者心里有事就用这办法对付。薇洛擦洗地板，清理碗柜，擦台面。可她老是心不在焉。她总是叫库珀走，其实心里一直想他留下。

今天她发了点小脾气，也许这会让他觉得为她所做的一切不值当。真的吗，她真的不值当吗？茶凉了，她又烧了壶水，放了袋茶叶，舀了满满一匙蜂蜜，没精打采地调和着茶水。她在脑子里列了个单子，试着从库珀的角度列出利弊得失。

让她感觉有点不舒服的是，有件事关系到她自己，她没办法将其列在对库珀有利的一栏。他来这里，至少他发誓这么说，是因为听说有个女的需要帮手，就是找个活干几天。这原本没错。他找到什么了？找到她了。这等于翻出陈芝麻烂谷子的事来耻笑他。她和她的农场每况愈下，缺少维修农场的工具，给下苦力的人连顿像样的饭菜都没有。库珀来这儿的弊与失这栏越写越多。而且，还得加上一条，他为她和莉莉掏了他的腰包；其实，粉丝这事也不能怪他，结果还被她斥责了一顿。

这正是她心有不安之处——他本可以彬彬有礼地走开了事。看他在她们身上签名，真让她的脸上挂不住。可他怎么说的呢？收集签名是粉丝们的乐子，没什么坏处。就是签在一张又一张的纸上。可她干吗要怪他？库珀潇洒英俊，女人们爱他那身肌肉，还有他牛仔的风度。要是一位名副其实的牛仔擦身而过，哪个女人不回眸反顾。至于库珀，就他那头棕色卷发，咖啡色的眼睛……他就是女人们心仪的男子汉。薇洛当然清楚，她曾经也想要他，可她出于担心和恐惧又放弃了他，那时的担心、恐惧远比她对他的爱更加强烈。

走回洗涤槽，薇洛倒掉那杯几乎没碰过的茶水。他俩的过去已经无关紧要了。两人的人生都历经了那么多的沟沟坎坎，过去的错矫正不了了。

经历了这漫长的、令人不快的一天，她困了，想睡了。到底事情怎样，还得看库珀明天天亮前是否打包走人。

第二天，她见他的皮卡车还在牲口棚旁，就把早餐给他放好了。她喂莉莉的时候，注意着库珀的脚步声。终于听见了，她屏住呼吸，等着他来敲门，跟她道别。可他没敲门。她听见他骑上马，拖着前几天修过的雪橇走了。拉开窗帘，她看见雪橇上高高地堆着牲口的饲料。

她松了口气，尽力抑制住内心的狂喜。他随时可以走掉。自打泰特死后，她就一直凑合着把日子过下去，她还会继续这样，直到有人出手买下农场。

不是说库珀多给她干天活，她就可以偷点懒。她得干好自己分内的活。他说了，刷漆之前，整个房子得用高压冲洗机冲洗。那活听起来还挺容易的。她要是自己能干这活，库珀就有空维修门廊的柱子。她看过角落里烂掉的木料，她干不了修理活。

薇洛打开盒子，里面有高压冲洗机的零部件和使用说明书。她在树影下铺开个毛毯，给莉莉仨空盒子玩。把这些精巧的物件安装到位得费些时间，可把它们归置在一块儿还不成问题。薇洛庆幸没剩下多余的零件，她很满意，然后她把水管接到屋后的水龙头上，看着它充满了水，又打开了它。冲洗机巨大的冲力打了她个趔趄。她拼命抓住它，可水管狂跳乱舞，像条发怒的蛇。水管在她手里打着转，喷了她一身水，湿透了她的脸、头发、衣服。“哎呀！哦，哎呀呀。”她尖叫着。水管滑滑的，挣脱了她的控制，在地上活蹦乱跳，水喷向四面八方，就是喷不到房子。她叫着，喊着，扑向水管，抓起来，原本想着关掉水龙头，没想到反而加大了水压。她把喷嘴瞄准了墙面，水的反冲力猛地把她向后推了一把，她脚下一个踉跄，滑进了泥里。她挣扎着想跪起来，一边冲机器叫喊着。

库珀听到了叫声。他翻身上马，冲下山，穿过院子，跳下马，抓住还在狂蹦的水龙头，把它关掉了。“没事吧？伤着没有？”他喊道，手伸向陷在泥潭里的薇洛。

莉莉丢下最大的盒子，东倒西歪地朝妈妈过去，手里拖着兔子。他不想让莉莉把最爱的玩具弄得满是稀泥，库珀把水龙头扔过一边，抱起莉莉。他担心她会哭，但她没哭。

他过了一会儿才明白过来，薇洛全身颤动并不是在哭，是在笑——笑得那么开心，沾满泥的双臂抱着腰。

她想站起来，又滑倒了，双膝跪在泥里。库珀轻轻地把小孩放到干处，把薇洛扶出淤泥，“我听见你嚎叫，像个预告死亡的女巫，”他说，“还好，没伤着哪儿。早上七点你就在泥潭里打滚，真该死，我倒是错过了这场好戏喽。”

薇洛还双手抱腰，一时兴起，把沾满淤泥的手啪嗒啪嗒打在库珀的胸上，在他干净的衬衣上留下条条指痕，“现在还说谁一天紧张兮兮、一本正经的啦？”她问道，咯咯地笑起来，像个女学生。“嘿，”他叫道，“我昨天才洗的衣服。”“哎呀，库珀，你要是看见发生了什么，你也会开怀大笑的。我打赌，我上得了全国最搞笑家庭录像节目。我发誓，喷嘴好像有生命一样，一点不听使唤。”“这事后看来，”他说，“还是有点搞笑。只不过，你的那叫声听起来像是有人在攻击你。”“不好意思，那感觉就像我被人攻击了。你看，我这真是越帮越忙，”她感叹道，一边看着水管留下的一片狼藉，满是淤泥的手从敷满淤泥的腰间放下。“我要知道你来用，就不会买这压力最大的了。按照这设备的设计，可以冲洗掉墙壁凹槽里的苔藓。一旦压力开足了，你得离房子更远点，”“等到我明白了，可又关不掉了，双手握不住它了。天哪，我这身脏的。我去洗洗，回头再试试。”“我去打理后墙。嘿，”他喊道，“你看见没有，莉莉贝尔让我抱起她，居然没哭没闹？”“我没看见。我不知道她丢下了盒子。她超喜欢盒子。她可以把兔子放进盒子，再拿出来，重复一千遍也不觉得烦。这是她自闭症的又一个怪癖。”“那么，你是说即使她没哭没闹，我也不要太过高兴吗？”

悲伤闪过她的面颊，“库珀，多谢你和她交流。每当她遇见什么新东西，她的反应通常是害怕。我猜，她这是习惯了你在她身边了。”“我也这么看。我看的那篇文章说，有的活动对自闭症小孩的中枢神经有效。据写文章的医生讲，有些孩子在语言、认知和面部表情上都取得了显著成效。”“是嘛，但愿。所以呀，我正在祈求买主从天而降。”“啊，我还有五十多根桩要打，牛群正吃得欢，它们每天都在加膘。墙壁要是弄得快，我们很快就可以上漆。之后，你可以叫地产经纪人再过来一趟。你降点价，会卖得更快。”“等卖掉牛群和财产，再扣去我欠你的，库珀，我希望剩下有足够的余钱，我可以挪个地方，找份好工作，给莉莉找个学校。日间学校，不是寄宿的。”“我什么时候说过要你还钱。”“用你这么多钱，我觉得过意不去。”库珀还要争辩，她举起一只手，“我需要去清洗一下。至于这个嘛，我们以后再慢慢细谈。你已经花了不少了，请你别再花了。”她说着，瞟了一眼又回去玩盒子的莉莉。

薇洛关上后门，库珀拧开了冲洗机。他不知道，要是他处在她的境地自己会作何感想。或许他俩之间的那段感情让接受对方的钱变得更难了。他检查了自己为她大把花钱的动机。他存折里的钱快花光了，可他没法解释为什么要这样做。他只清楚自己没办法一走了之。在她们急需帮助的时候，自己不能撇下她们娘俩不管。

她出来了，这时，他已经洗完了房子的后墙。她看上去眉目清秀，干净利索。他觉得，跟他第一天碰上她追赶那些犟牛时相比，她眼圈周围少了些忧虑的皱纹。再把她跟昨天餐馆里的那些女孩一比，她们穿着花里胡哨、俗里俗气，而她显得雅致，有魅力。他咬紧牙关，将喷头来回地移动，还一面告诉她如何调节控制器，调整压力。“我组装的时候看到了，可我想要是压力开足了，水会进得更快。”“嗯，你要以前没用过，适应这些活动的零部件还要一阵子。”

薇洛的目光移向了地毯，“库珀，莉莉呢？”“我不知道，她刚刚还在。”他把太阳镜往上一推，扫了一眼树下，刚才她还一直坐在那儿，盒子也在，可人和兔子不见了。“你没看着她吗？”薇洛问。

他皱皱眉，“你没叫我看着她呀。”“我以为你会看着点的。”薇洛吓得嗓门都提高了，一边慌慌张张地东瞧瞧西看看，“她从没走远过。但你说得对，是我的错。”薇洛转过了房子的拐角。“这不是谁的错的问题，”库珀说着，放下喷嘴，赶紧跟上去，“她是不是跟你到屋里了。”“我没见着她。”“再进去看看。她是不是热了口渴了。”

薇洛的眼里只有害怕，“莉莉不会那样想问题，库珀，她这些基本需求还需要我提醒。”她急匆匆上了后面的台阶，冲进屋里。

库珀走向树林。起初，他担心她会进林子，可灌木丛很茂密，没有踩踏的痕迹，没断掉的枝丫。薇洛跑出来时，他已回来了。“她不在屋里。”因为惊慌，薇洛的嗓门更大了，“她从没自个离开过。天哪，库珀，她会去哪儿呢？”“你看过门廊她最爱去的角落了吗？她要是从我身旁经过，我肯定看到了。她莫非从房间出去了。”“我已经查看了。如果她朝牲口棚的方向去了，你应该会注意到吧？”薇洛用手遮了遮下午过亮的阳光。“没错，她要是往公路上去，我也会看到。”“那她就是去了你维修栅栏的那块牧场。”薇洛说着，一下子跑了起来。“等等，我们骑‘传奇’去，”库珀叫道，“那会更快些。”“行，但是要快点！路上还有个水塘，莉莉是不怕水的。”薇洛啜泣道，“我离开还不到十分钟。往常她会在一个地方坐上几个小时。”

他翻身上鞍，疾驰过去，停在薇洛跑向的山坡，俯下身，搂住她的腰，顺势将她放在马鞍上，坐在自己前面。他一点马刺，马跑了起来。“再快点，好不好？”“地面到处都是小孔，马很容易失蹄。不过，稍慢点，我们可以看得更清楚些。她穿的是红衬衣，橙色裤子，对吧？远远地就能看见她。”“我要是允许，她会一直只穿这身衣服。”“我注意到了，她喜欢那件衬衫。”库珀让马绕道而行，跑的地界可以更广点，“你该养条狗，训练过的，它可以照看莉莉，可以给主人服务。”“那我还得再供养一张嘴。你别给她买狗，库珀。天哪，到底在哪儿啦？”薇洛不住地东张西望，“她能走这么远吗？她离开你视线有多久？”“我要知道就好了。真是的，我应该带上双筒望远镜的。”“库珀！”薇洛抓住鞍头，扭头看着他，脸色煞白，“牛群来池塘饮过水了。万一她走进牛群怎么办？她会被踩死的！”“薇洛，别想得太多了。”“说得轻巧。她又不是你的女儿。”“你认为，因为她不是我女儿，我就会关心她少些吗？”话虽说出口了，可库珀意识到自己说的是真心话。

库珀的双臂把薇洛搂得更紧了，她安静了些。他身上散发的热气包围着她。这感觉真舒心，她好久好久没有这样的感觉了。“库珀，我没想气你。我是说，小孩从一生下来就和妈妈有种特别的纽带关系。而且……我是吓慌神了。”“我也是。关水龙头时，我确定她还在毯子上。随后她就不见了。薇洛，快看！看左边。她在破栅栏旁边，紫荆花树下，莉莉就在那里。她坐在一堆花丛里，那些花和她的头差不多高。”“我看见了！”薇洛低声叫道，如释重负，急着要下马。

库珀控住缰绳，跳下马，伸手把薇洛托起来，她顺势滑到地面。两人相互拥抱，分享瞬间的快乐。

库珀几乎叫起来，一边抱起薇洛打转。他紧紧地搂住她时，两人目光相遇。他见她目光闪烁，心存疑惑，疑惑他的拥抱，疑惑他的身体所做出的反应。对这些疑惑，库珀还没预备好答案。因为莉莉不见了，他觉得，所以一路上他俩才在马背上有情感交流，这对一个男人而言很自然，不用再往深处去想。几年前他就不再去想两人昔日的感情。库珀松开手，后退几步，“好啦，”他说，语气有点生硬，“你带她回去，我先把牛群弄走，再去维修栅栏。”“好吧，行。”薇洛支支吾吾道，忙着去抱莉莉，一边掩饰她内心涌动的反应。这反应来得出人意料，来得不是时候。她不傻，她明白库珀对她的感觉不像一直以来她对库珀的感觉那样。她一边朝女儿奔去，一面想着自己跟库珀·德拉蒙德的关系真是乱麻一团。

薇洛跪下去，抱住孩子。她要是能把她搂在怀里，痛痛快快地向她倾诉憋在胸中的情感该有多好，可莉莉不喜欢亲密接触，讨厌别人打扰。“你好，宝贝。”薇洛坐下来，和女儿一起摘野花，让怦怦直跳的心脏缓下来，“你根本想不到，你差点没把妈妈吓个半死。还有库珀，自从遇到你，他都心软了。”薇洛望了他一眼，忍不住微微一笑。

在牧场的对面，库珀把四散的牛群赶往水塘的高处。他的眼神时不时地瞟向这母女俩。她俩坐在绚丽的花丛中，阳光透过紫荆树，将一个个光环洒落到坐在地上的两人身上。在婆娑起舞的光线中，女人的金发晕成了淡淡的一抹云，小孩棕色的头发熠熠生辉。

库珀看见薇洛仰着头，脖子白皙迷人，他的胃里感到一紧。她将花环放到女儿的卷发上，他恍惚听见了她朗朗的笑声。

一只无形的手在抓他的心，挤压他的心。不管是泰特——还是随便哪个男人——如果能与这母子俩朝夕相处，怎么就会不快乐满足呢？刚才这场担心过了，他才意识到自己当时有多害怕。

他轻轻地骂了声，戴上手套，拿起锤子。他对薇洛和泰特·沃克的女儿的感情让他心乱。他从没想到自己会对泰特的孩子这么亲近。等他抬头时，薇洛和莉莉已经走了。夕阳西下，在天边留下一抹一抹的云彩，那金色让他想起薇洛的头发。

下午快结束了，大多数烦恼被他一锤一锤打掉了。他还没能完全化解心中的困惑，但或许他已经越过那条严格的界限。这条线可以把现在的他和昔日对薇洛有情有爱的他分开。他开始下山，晚餐前还可以洗漱干净。他对房中女主人的感情死灰复燃，莫非是考验他的时机到了。

库珀填饱了肚子，再取出吉他。他感到甜美温馨多了。他弹了好几首情歌，听见纱门开了，停下了正在弹奏的《梦里有我》。他原以为是薇洛，可却是莉莉在看着他。他接着弹，调子越来越柔和，她靠得越来越近。隔了一会儿，她把手放在了他的膝盖上，仰着头，仿佛要弄明白这声音。库珀担心这神奇的魔力转瞬即逝，转换了音乐的节奏。她仿佛喜欢快的节奏，两只眸子更加闪亮了，库珀见她嘴角上扬露出微笑。这是他第一次见她的表情有了变化。他太激动了，忘了弹奏。

薇洛在里屋叫莉莉。她冲出门，一把抓住女孩，“抓住你了，小宝贝。”她叫道，颤抖的声音缓和了些。“薇洛，”库珀抓住她的手，“莉莉来听我弹奏音乐了。她径直地走过来，把手放在我膝盖上，然后……她还笑了。”“库珀，得了。没错，是我说你让她跑了，我向你道歉。可你也没必要编这些故事来宽慰我吧。我清楚得很，莉莉对她身边的事情没反应。今天这件事让我坚信我得更加警惕，不让她离开我的视线。”

库珀收起吉他。他听到的是薇洛的痛苦，所以，他说话得尽量通情达理点，“薇洛，我干什么要对你撒谎？我发誓，莉莉喜欢音乐。哎……也许她喜欢我。”他说道，感觉有点在为自己辩解。或许他是在跟空气说话。薇洛进了屋，关上门，把他关在了外面。

Chapter Seven

Uneasy about the way they'd left things the night before, Coop—who usually plunged whole-hog into every endeavor—decided to take this slower, this exploration of his one-time relationship with Willow. The relationship prior to their series of bitter arguments over his chosen career and her subsequent defection to Tate Walker. She could have picked any other man of Cooper's acquaintance and Coop would be able to forgive and forget. But Tate had been a burr under his saddle from the day Bart Walker bought the land bordering the Drummond ranch, and the boys, both eight at the time, squared off across a roan mare Coop had raised from a filly. It'd been his first real love affair with a horse, and Tate was climbing onto the roan. It was clear to Coop that his neighbor planned to steal the horse Coop hadn't branded yet because he couldn't bear to mar her beautiful, dark red coat.

Tate first claimed he was returning the horse, saying he found her running loose on his dad's property. But Coop knew a fence that had been separated with wire cutters when he saw one. He knew a thief when he looked one in the eyes. And he knew a brazen lie when he heard it. In Coop's estimation, Tate had never reformed and the two had a chilly association from that day forward. How could Willow not have known that, since she was so often at the center of later animosity? Maybe she had been clueless, given how busy and absorbed she always was.

Instead of slamming the door against any and all conversation concerning Tate, he should've asked her why she'd married the jerk. Another woman might have deliberately married his nemesis to cause maximum hurt to the guy who didn't do what she wanted. Willow wasn't like that. Cruelty wasn't in her DNA.

All of the thoughts that had been rocketing through Coop's head continued as he stripped and hosed down at the end of what had been another arduous workday.

Clean and refreshed, he slung his guitar case over his back and followed his nose across the yard to the porch. It was obvious Willow was cooking supper.

The shadier front of the house hadn't yet dried from the power washing Willow had done that day, so he couldn't take his usual spot on the top step. Nothing had been returned to the porch, including the orange crate where Willow placed his meals. Or maybe she was still annoyed at him and had decided not to feed him tonight.

Coop contemplated their previous day. If she was mad at him, he was probably to blame. As he debated whether or not to knock, the screen door flew open and Willow backed out carrying one of her kitchen chairs. He was unable to get out of her way fast enough, and she crashed into him.

"Oof! Coop, I didn't see you. Why were you sneaking up behind me?" Willow lost her purchase on the chair; together they lunged for it as the chair spun and tilted, nearly toppling them both. Coop grabbed a post and saved them from falling off the porch.

"If that chair is meant for me, wouldn't it be easier if I just come inside and ate at your kitchen table?"

"You know my rules, Coop."

"They'd make sense if your hired hand was a stranger. Don't you trust me?"

"It's not a matter of trust. I told you Lily is a picky eater. She might not eat at all if I disrupted her routine."

"That's bogus. She ate chicken strips at the restaurant and we all sat at the same table. And last evening she smiled at me whether you choose to believe it or not."

Willow rolled her eyes. "The chair is here, and I have your plate ready," she said, obviously not budging, because she hurried into the house again.

Coop rested his guitar case against the porch railing and moved the chair around until he found a flat spot.

"I saw you making daisy chains with Lily yesterday after we found her," Coop said the minute Willow returned with his covered plate. "For all the worry she caused us, I... well, I know it's not for me to say, but how does making playtime out of a bad situation teach her it's wrong to wander off like she did?"

"Are you suggesting I should have spanked her or something?"

"Of course not! I'd never advocate hitting a kid. But wasn't it a situation where child experts would recommend a time-out? I've only seen them interviewed on TV programs, mind you," he said to keep Willow from asking what made him an authority, as she was plainly about to do.

She crossed her arms. "Normal rules for raising children don't apply to kids with autism. Experience has taught me that if Lily senses my displeasure, it can cause a meltdown. You haven't witnessed one of those. Someone who didn't know her condition might call it a tantrum. Meltdowns are more than tantrums. They can go on until she wears out. And, in the end, there's no understanding on her part. She doesn't realize how she screamed and carried on. A book I bought says it's a lack of deductive reasoning. She has a brain disorder, Cooper."

"I know that. I'm trying to understand."

"So am I. Sorry if I get my hackles up. I want to help her so badly, and it kills me that I don't know how." She gestured to the plate he still held. "You'd better eat before your pot roast gets cold."

"Ah, that's what I smelled. You should go on in and eat, too. But can I borrow the book you mentioned?"

Willow shrugged. "There's a lot of technical jargon to wade through. I don't know why you'd want to read it. I mean, you'll be leaving in a day or two."

Well, that hurt. Coop tried not to show it. "I didn't pick up any more reading material on our last trip to town. Besides, I may be here longer than a day or two. It'll take three to finish the fence, and I haven't had a chance to call around and see which trucking outfit will give us the best price to take your steers to the stockyard. Or have you made those calls?"

She shook her head. "I've never sold so many head at one time. The feed-store owner always located buyers for one or two steers and the buyers came here."

"It doesn't work that way when you unload a whole herd. Don't worry, Willow. I'll try to call around tomorrow. In another week, they'll be fat enough to bring in top dollar, but they need to be vaccinated with booster antibiotics and branded before you sell them."

"I didn't realize that. I guess I'm not a very good rancher." She went inside then, but her comment made Coop wonder about what Willow planned to do after she sold her herd. Ideally selling the cattle would coincide with selling the ranch. But how would she manage if the ranch didn't sell right away? Hanging on to the place would drain all the proceeds from the beef sale. If Coop could find time to work with the mare and colt he'd seen, they could bring in some ready cash. The horses weren't wild, but they weren't tame, either. And the mare wasn't branded. The colt had good lines. If he was going back to the Triple D after he left here, he'd want to start breeding horses again. A mare and her sturdy colt might be a good first acquisition. If he was going back to the Triple D. At some point he had to, if for no other reason than to clear the air between him and Sully.

Coop enjoyed every bite of Willow's savory pot roast, potatoes and carrots. He'd have enjoyed the meal more with company, but that was wishful thinking. He was a social person, and here, the long, empty hours of solitude were beginning to get to him. Coop supposed he'd face the same lonely existence if he moved home. Sullivan and Blythe both led busy lives. He'd probably have to move into the older house where he'd grown up. It was a house meant for a family.

Sobering at his own thoughts, Coop set his empty plate aside, took out his guitar and kicked back in the chair. He started in with a song that matched his feelings.

Willow came out and took his plate then went in again, quietly closing the screen door behind her.

Part way into a lullaby frequently used by cowboys to calm restless herds during roundups, Coop noticed that Lily had pushed open the screen. Freshly scrubbed, ready for bed, she held her rabbit by its ear and somberly watched him play.

Coop spoke softly to her. "You like music, Lily B? I think so. Can you say music? It's kind of a hard word. Mu..si..c," he said again, stretching out the syllables.

She slipped out and cautiously moved closer. Pleased, Coop segued from one song to another. He was running out of tunes he knew off the top of his head, so it was probably just as well that they both heard Willow calling Lily's name. The girl scampered back to the door, but her big, luminous eyes never left the guitar or Coop's hands.

"There you are, honey bun," Willow exclaimed. "After I cleaned the tub, I expected to find you and Mr. Rabbit snuggled down in bed." Stepping out onto the porch, her feet as bare as her daughter's, Willow picked up Lily and blew a raspberry on her neck. "How can I keep a more watchful eye on you kiddo, when you sneak off like this? My heart sinks whenever you aren't where I expect you to be."

"She came out to hear my music," Coop said. "You like music, don't you, Lily B?"

The child buried her face in her mother's shoulder, and Willow shook her head at Coop. "You are such an optimist. But I like your serenade," she told him.

"Are you coming back out?" Coop asked, strumming aimless chords.

Willow glanced around. "The porch is still wet. I thought it'd be dry by now."

"I can bring out another chair while you put Lily to bed."

"I don't know, Coop. We ate supper later than usual. I worked hard today. I should probably turn in, too."

"Hard work is all the more reason to wind down slowly. And I meant it earlier when I asked to borrow that book on autism."

"Oh, right. I forgot. I'll get it. Meanwhile, would you mind playing some of the old songs you guys played in college? Maybe 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'?"

"I'll see if I remember any of those tunes. Around the rodeo, everybody's into country music."

"Anything is okay, Coop. I miss the radio we had. It was one of the first things I sold to a drifter I hired to work here after Tate was killed."

She withdrew then, and Coop decided a radio was definitely something he'd buy for Willow before he left. She needed one for practical reasons. Texas was known for its erratic storms. He'd find a portable with a reliable antenna so she could use it outside.

He hauled out a second chair in hopes she'd change her mind. Picking up his guitar again, he strummed portions of songs he remembered from his college days.

Willow was gone longer than he thought she'd be, and he'd run through most of his repertoire before she appeared at the screen door again. Happy to see her, he stopped playing. It had grown so dark he had to hold the book she passed to him up to the light spilling from the house. "Autism, the Invisible Disability," he read. "I promise I'll get it back to you soon."

"This covers a lot, but I know there are newer studies, and newer guides to coping, since I bought this book. Our library is minuscule. They don't have many medical books."

"They ought to be able to order what you want from the state system."

"Except that it was built through donations and is staffed by volunteers."

"You need access to the latest information. I never gave any thought before as to what a challenge disabilities must be for rural families."

"Why would you, unless you knew someone who's affected?" She moved about the porch, leaning on the railing, gazing up at the moon.

"It's none of my business," Coop said, clearing his throat. "And I realize I took your head off the other night for mentioning Tate. But considering what you did say, Willow, why didn't you leave with Lilybelle before it was too late? I mean, before the time Tate ran you off the road and dragged you back."

She sank down on the second chair and rubbed her hands across her face. "Fear, Coop. He said he'd track me down and see that Lily was taken away. I had no money of my own. I'm a college dropout. I knew Tate's dad wouldn't help me, because he made that plain before we got married. My mom couldn't. I decided that unless things got really bad here, at least we had food and a roof over our heads."

"What about the abuse?"

"Don't judge me, Cooper! Tate's abuse was mostly verbal. He hit me once, but if he'd ever hit Lilybelle, nothing would have kept me here."

Coop didn't bring up the fact that the owner of the feed store said his wife had observed bruises on Willow when she was pregnant. Arguing would serve no purpose. And he couldn't make a dead man pay. "How many credits are you short to graduate?" he asked instead. "You planned to be a teacher. I always thought you'd be a great one. And it's a job that would give you summers off with Lily."

"I left college my junior year. I didn't get credit for the semester of practice teaching I did because I left midterm. Do you think I haven't dreamed of going back to get my degree? But if and when I move from here, I need to get a job with benefits and a salary that'll cover rent, food, clothes and special schooling for Lilybelle."

Coop fiddled with the book jacket. "You should explore school options available for single moms. I'll bet there are loans and grants. This ranch is small, but it should still bring in enough to tide you over until you can finish your degree. And colleges sometimes have child-care programs on campus."

"Really? I've only expected to sell for enough to cover what's owed on the mortgage and buy the gas we'd need to get to San Antonio or Austin."

"I didn't know you owed on the ranch. The guy at the feed store said Tate bragged about how his dad had set him up here. How much is left on the loan?"

"I'm not sure. Tate and his dad refinanced before Tate died. But all I've been paying is the interest. I told the Realtor I won't sell for less than I owe the bank." She closed her eyes and massaged the back of her neck.

Coop could see the conversation was stressing her. "Hey, I'm keeping you from bed." He stood, set the book on the railing and put his guitar back in its case. "I'll shore up this porch in the next few days."

"Saying thanks again doesn't seem like enough for everything you've done for me, Cooper."

"Well, it keeps me from going back to the Triple D and having to face Sully."

She studied him. "Your brother is a hard man."

"Yeah... well..." Coop shrugged as he lifted both chairs and prepared to take them inside.

"You don't want to leave one chair out here to use at breakfast?"

"Nah. Just pack me a few biscuits and some bacon. I'll make a few sandwiches to eat as I ride out to work on the fence. By the end of tomorrow, this wood should be dry enough to sit on again."

She held the door and waited until after he left the porch to lock up.

BEFORE RETIRING, Willow checked on Lilybelle, who lay on top of her covers, arms and legs splayed willynilly. Such a sweet cherub in sleep. Luckily, most of the time, she was sweet while awake, too. But Willow hadn't lied to Cooper. Sometimes, handling Lily's explosive behavior was a trial. Rescuing the rabbit from the floor, Willow tucked him under the blanket where Lily could easily see him when she woke up.

In her own room, Willow prepared for bed. But she found sleep elusive. Hopes and dreams she'd long ago put on the back burner flooded back, thanks to Coop's prodding. Yes, she still longed to be a teacher. Coop knew her current situation, yet he'd made her hope that finishing her degree might be possible.

Yawning, she turned on her side. That was one thing she used to love about Cooper. He always put the best spin on everything. But there was a downside, too. He refused to take her concerns about the rodeo seriously at a time when the very thought of him climbing into a chute day after day simply terrified her. She wadded her pillow under her head. All her worries had been for nothing. He'd emerged in one piece. And oh, what a piece. Willow fell asleep imagining how nice it would be to have Coop curled around her in bed.

THE NEXT MORNING, Cooper's day didn't start off well. He broke the handle off the sledgehammer, which put an end to driving fence posts. Taking a second look at the sagging porch, he discovered a leak in the kitchen plumbing; that was what had caused the support beam to rot out. He crawled under and found the pipe he needed to replace.

"Willow, I have to run into town to pick up a new handle for the sledgehammer and a few plumbing supplies. Do you need anything? Are we running low on milk or eggs?"

"The hens out back are laying again. Milk—we always need milk. I shouldn't have sold the milk cow, but the drought killed the sweet grass, and feeding her became an issue. Are you sure you want to mess with buying groceries when you're going after tools?"

"It's all at the same store. Make a list. I'll go check on how much grain I have left for my horses. I might as well get everything in one trip."

Willow propped her shoulder against the door frame and watched him walk away in that slow, hip-rolling gait she loved. She spared another second to marvel at him. Tate had never set foot in a grocery store to buy anything except beer.

She found a couple of things that needed replenishing. But then, after Coop drove off, she started to worry about the cost. He hadn't asked for money, and she hadn't given him any from her emergency stash. From long habit, she kept enough hidden in her tampon box to buy bus tickets for her and Lily. That was the one place she knew Tate would never search even when he was drunk and tearing through the house looking for cash to spend on booze or cards. She probably should hand the money over to Coop, but although her situation had changed, it was still difficult to relinquish her means of escape.

WILLOW HAD PREPARED chicken-fried steak and fries, which were warming in the oven when Coop finally drove in. She exhaled and dropped the window curtain. He'd been gone so long her stomach was a jumble. Logic said he wouldn't leave without his horses. Logic said he wouldn't go on a bender as Tate so often did. Logic didn't say Coop wouldn't hook up with some woman in town, though.

While she dished up a second helping of macaroni and cheese for Lily, Willow took deep breaths to calm her frayed nerves.

She didn't expect Coop to barge right into the house, laden down with more groceries than had been on her list.

"Whatever you're cooking smells good." He sniffed the air as he divested himself of sacks and stowed the milk in the fridge. "Oh, it's ready," he noted as Willow removed two covered plates from the oven. "Let's eat at your table, then I'll put away the rest of this stuff. Sorry I'm late. I had to go to Crystal City for the plumbing supplies. Carrizo Springs was having a parade and a chile festival by the time I arrived back there for groceries. You and Lily are probably the only people in this area who weren't there. Traffic was at a standstill." Without waiting for her to insist he eat on the porch, Coop washed up at the kitchen sink, and relieved her of one of the warm plates she still held in her oven mitts.

He sat and tucked right into his food.

Willow opened her mouth to protest his high- handedness, first casting a sidelong glance at Lily-belle, who kept spooning in her food. Seeing that her daughter had no concerns, and since she didn't want to seem ungrateful Willow sat down, took off the mitts and slowly peeled the foil off her plate. "I didn't know about the festival. I don't bother with the local paper. I never found time to read it."

"I bought you a radio," Coop said.

That stopped Willow. "You what? Cooper! Radios are expensive!"

"It's a gift. And don't be selling it, either. You need to know what's going on around here, and in the world."

"I... Thank you. I don't know what else to say."

"That's sufficient. It's not a big deal."

But it was to Willow. Bigger than he knew.

No further talk passed between them as they ate. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, though. Willow reflected that she shouldn't have balked at letting him eat with them before.

They finished about the same time and she cleared the table. She put their dishes in the sink to soak, then turned to help him unload the sacks still sitting on the counter. "What's this?" she asked, removing a smaller plastic bag from the sack that held a box of cereal.

"A coloring book and crayons for Miss Lily," Coop said, smiling at the little girl. "It's a book of farm animals. The crayons are nontoxic."

"Coop..."

"You keep saying my name in that tone that suggests you think I'm an idiot."

"No. Never that." She swallowed all the emotions threatening to choke her. "I already tried coloring with her, but she ate the crayons. I'm... touched by your generosity, and at a loss for words.

"I'm not looking for thanks." He leafed through the coloring book and tore out a page with a pony on it. "Po...ny," he said repeatedly. "Po...ony." He pointed to the picture he'd placed in front of Lily. Then he sat adjacent to her and dumped out the fat crayons. Selecting the red one, he said, "Red. The color of your shirt." He pointed. "Blue, the color of my shirt." Coop made each association, then ran the crayon across the pony's body.

"Now you do it," he said, pleased to see her bend for a closer look. He fit her fingers around the crayon but she pulled back and dropped it. Again Coop colored, and again handed her the crayon. This time she took it and scribbled on the picture, then kept coloring.

Fascinated by his patience, Willow put away the rest of the groceries. She found the radio. Coop's buying it had been more than thoughtful. But she was far more touched by his purchase of a simple coloring book. To see her daughter actually take the crayon and scribble on the drawing of a horse filled her heart with an uncommon happiness. Did Coop know his act of kindness toward Lilybelle meant even more to her than all the backbreaking work he'd done around her ranch? She doubted it. She wanted to hug him. That would be unwise; there was still a wall of reserve between them.

Coop raised his head, caught Willow watching him intently, and his lips moved in a slow smile.

Unable to respond with the words of love that tangled her tongue, Willow released a pent-up breath. "Cooper Drummond," she murmured, "You are such a kid."

He winked, his smile lasting until Lily tired of running colors across the rainbow-hued pony. She sat back, hugged her rabbit and fought to keep her eyes open while Coop boxed up the crayons.

Willow noticed. "It's bedtime for you, young lady." Coming around the counter, she scooped up her sleepy daughter. "Coop... I..."

He stood. "It's late. I'll let myself out," he said, stacking the crayons on top of the coloring book. He and Willow were both speechless when Lily twisted in her mother's arms, stretched out a hand and nabbed the page she'd colored.

They didn't need to comment on the girl's momentous action. The knowledge that it spelled some kind of a change in their strained relationship was reflected in two pairs of eyes that met over Lily's head.

第七章

昨晚，两人又弄得不欢而散，库珀感到不能安心——他做事，向来是一不做二不休，所以他决定慢慢地理理和薇洛一度有过的关系。他俩为选择职业发生激烈争吵之前的关系，还有后来她移情别恋爱上泰特·沃克的事情。薇洛要是随便嫁给哪个别的库珀认识的男人，他都会原谅她，不往心里去。可自从巴特·沃克买了靠近德拉蒙德三人农场的那块地，泰特就成了个让人讨厌的家伙。当时，他们都是八岁的孩子，可为了匹棕色雌马，两人还准备干一架。这匹马是库珀从小养大的，也是他第一次真正喜爱的马，而泰特居然要骑上去。库珀觉得，显然他的这位邻居是算计好了的，想要趁机偷马。库珀还没给这匹马烙印，因为他下不了手，怕毁了她深红色亮丽的皮毛。

泰特一开始说他正要归还库珀这匹马，还说看见这匹马在他爸爸的农场上四处乱跑。但库珀知道，有处栅栏被钢丝钳剪开了。而且他瞄一眼一个人的眼神，就能看得出他是不是贼；他听一听一个人的话音，就能识别出这个人恬不知耻的谎言。依库珀看，泰特是贼性不改。从此，两人有了过节。后来，薇洛就处在他们这两个仇敌的中心，她怎么可能对此不知晓呢？也许她曾经无处知晓，因为她总是那么忙忙碌碌，抽不出身。

库珀本来不该一谈起泰特就摔门而出，他倒该问问薇洛，为什么要嫁给那个笨蛋。换了别的女人，有可能为了报复，故意嫁给自己喜欢的男人的敌人。但那不是薇洛行事的风格，她骨子里就做不出狠心残忍的事。

库珀一边脱衣服，一边用水管冲洗着又一天的疲劳。这些想法一直在他脑中翻腾，就没停过。

现在库珀一身干干净净，轻轻松松，他把吉他往背上一挎，寻着饭的香味到了门廊。薇洛准在弄晚饭了。

房子的正面背阴，薇洛冲洗的墙面还没干，他没法坐在最上一层台阶上。东西还没归还原位，放饭的橙色板条箱也不在。敢情她还在发火，今晚不给他饭吃了。

库珀想着头天的事。她要是生气了，他自己也难辞其咎。就在他脑子还在争辩是敲门还是不敲门的节骨眼上，门冷不丁地开了。薇洛搬着把厨房椅子，背朝着门退了出来，库珀躲闪不及，两人撞在了一起。“哦！库珀，我没看见你。你怎么在我背后鬼鬼祟祟的？”薇洛一下失去了重心，椅子落地，两人一扑，椅子在地上横三竖四地翻了几个个儿，差点没把他俩绊倒。库珀抓住根柱子，才没摔下门廊去。“椅子要是拿给我坐的，我干脆直接进屋，就在厨房桌子上吃不更省事？”“库珀，你知道我的规矩。”“你雇佣了个陌生人，定这规矩还说得过去。难道你还信不过我吗？”“这不是信不信得过的事。我说过了，莉莉吃饭挑三拣四，我要是破坏了她的规矩，也许她什么都不吃了。”“纯粹是借口。在餐馆她吃了鸡肉条，我们还坐同一张桌子。昨晚，她还朝我笑了，信不信由你。”

薇洛翻了翻眼睛，“椅子我都搁这儿了，饭碟也备好了。”她辩道，显然不让步，然后又急匆匆地进屋了。

库珀把吉他靠门廊栏杆放着，挪了一下椅子，找了个平地。“昨天，我们找到她后，我看到你给她做了雏菊花环，”薇洛刚端饭出来，库珀就对她说，“虽说她让我们担了不少心，我……可我，我知道，这话不该我来说，可我们怎样才能通过玩游戏让她明白，她那样到处乱走是错的？”“你是说，我该把打她一顿，还是怎么的？”“当然不是。我向来不主张打孩子。可这样的情形会不会是儿童专家建议的隔离处分？跟你说，我只看过儿童专家的电视访谈节目。”他这样说，是为了堵薇洛的嘴，不让她质问他怎么一下子又那么权威了。果不其然她要这么做。

她交叉双臂，“教育小孩的普通规则不适用于自闭的小孩。经验告诉我，莉莉要是感到我哪儿不开心，结果对她会是崩溃性的。你是没见过。不了解情况的人还说她是一时使性子，崩溃远不是什么使性子，她可以一直折腾到自己精疲力竭。等这阵子过了，她还当什么事没发生一样，她意识不到自己当时是怎么在那儿没命地哭喊，在那儿没完没了地折腾的。我买了本书，书上说说这是缺乏演绎推理能力。她脑子不知哪儿错乱了，库珀。”“我知道。我就想弄明白点。”“我何尝不想。我要是脾气不好，还请你原谅。我很想帮她，可又手足无措，急死我了。”她指了指他端着的盘子，“你先吃吧，炖肉快要凉了。”“哈，还是从前的香味。你也该进去吃了。我能借一下你说的那本书吗？”

薇洛耸耸肩，“里面好多拗口难懂的专业术语，我不懂你为什么想看。我是说，还有一两天你就要走了。”

哎，话又说到他的伤心处了，可库珀尽量不显露出来，“上次去镇上，我书买得不多。还有，我也许过一两天不走。维修完栅栏就要三天，我还得四处看看，看哪家运输公司价钱最便宜，好把牛拖到牲畜围栏。还有，你打电话了吗？”

她摇摇头，“我从没一次卖过这么多牲口。饲料商店老板都是找买一两头牛的买主。买主自己上门来我这儿。”“整批地卖那就不行了。别担心，薇洛。明天我就四周看看。再过一周，他们就膘肥体壮了，能卖个好价钱。不过，在卖之前，牛群都需要注射辅助抗生素、接种疫苗，还需要烙印。“我都不知道。我想我也不是个称职的牧场主。”她进屋了，可她的话让库珀好奇，她要是卖了牛群去干什么呀。理想的情况是，牛群和农场能一块儿卖。可要是农场没有及时出手，她又怎么办？耗在这里只会把赚的几个钱耗光。库珀要是能腾出时间，把那些母马和小马驹驯服，还可以多卖些现钱。那些马不纯，是野马，也没有专门训练过。母马还没烙印，马驹子的外形轮廓挺不错。自己要是离开这里，再回到德拉蒙德三人农场，他还是想干养马的老行当。母马和强壮的马驹子是首要的，如果他回去的话。说起来，他非得回去了，不说为别的，他得和萨利消除误会。

薇洛做的土豆和胡萝卜炖肉美味可口，口口爽心。自己要是能跟她共进晚餐，岂不赏心乐事，不过，那是他痴心妄想。他原本喜欢交朋结友，可在这里荒凉孤独，长此以往，自己还真有点寂不可耐了。库珀猜想，就是回到自己家也还是孤独难耐。他可能会搬进老宅，萨利和他在那儿一块长大，可那房子是给有口之家住的。

自个儿的事理清楚了，库珀就把空盘搁一边，取出吉他，坐回椅子上。他先弹上一曲，以寄托自己的情感。

薇洛出来收了盘子，又进去了，轻轻地随手关上纱门。

赶拢牲口时，牛仔们往往用摇篮曲平静焦躁不安的牛群。库珀注意到，莉莉推开了纱门，她才洗得干干净净，要睡觉了。她攥着兔子的耳朵，静静地望着他弹奏。

库珀轻声道，“你喜欢音乐，宝贝莉莉？没错。你会说音乐吗？有点难度。音……音……乐。”他又说一遍，拉长了音节。

她慢慢地溜出来，小心翼翼地一点点靠近。库珀一高兴，就一首接一首地弹着，弹到脑中都没了现成的曲子了。正好这时，他俩都听见薇洛在喊莉莉。女孩蹦蹦跳跳地回屋了，可她又大又亮的眼睛一直流连在吉他上，流连在库珀的手上。“可找到你了，好宝贝，”薇洛叫道，“我洗完浴盆时，还以为你和兔先生已经舒舒服服躺在床上了呢。”和女儿一样，薇洛也是光着脚丫走到门廊。她抱起莉莉，朝她的脖子吹了口气，“你像这样，说开溜就开溜，我哪里看得住你这小家伙呢？我要是一见不到你，心里就打鼓。”“她出来听我的音乐了，”库珀说，“你喜欢音乐，是吧，宝贝莉莉？”

小孩把脸埋在妈妈的肩上，薇洛朝库珀摇摇头，“你真是个乐天派。我还真喜欢你的小夜曲。”“你还出来吗？”库珀问道，随意地拨弄着弦。

薇洛望了一下四周，“门廊还湿着。我以为现在应该干了。”“我可以再拿把椅子来，你先去弄莉莉睡觉吧。”“我说不好，库珀。我们吃饭比平常晚了。今天我也干了好多活。我想我也该睡了。”“累了一天更需要轻松轻松。不过，我说的是刚才有点累，我跟你借书那会儿。”“啊，对啦。我还忘了。我给你拿。这会，弹几曲大学时的老歌怎么样？要不来首《忧愁河上的金桥》？”“那得看我还记不记得起曲子喽。我参加竞技赛那会儿，人人都爱乡村音乐。”“什么都行，库珀。我怪想念我们那台收音机的。泰特死后，我最先卖的东西就有它，卖给了个流浪汉，他在农场干过活。”

她进屋了。库珀决定了，在他走之前，收音机是一定要给薇洛买的。这对她有用，得州的暴风雨天气变化莫测。他得买个轻便的，信号稳定，可以在室外用。

他又挪了把椅子出来，盼着她会改主意。他重新拿起吉他，漫不经心地弹了些大学时的曲子，凭自己的记忆而弹。

没想到薇洛去了这么久，等她站在到门口时，他脑子里的曲目差不多弹完了。见到她出来了，库珀很开心，就不弹了。天很黑了，他把递给他的书借着房里的余光看着，随口念道，“《自闭症，无形的残障》，我很快就还给你。”“这本书涉及面广。当然，这本书出版了之后，还有新的研究出来，也有新的疗法可用。这儿图书馆的藏书很少，没多少医学方面的。”“他们可以帮你从州图书系统借书。”“只是图书馆是捐赠成立的，管理员也是自愿服务的。”“你需要有最新的信息。我以前想象不到对乡村家庭来说，残障会意味着这么多的挑战。”“你哪儿用得着去了解？除非有相识的人患病了。”她在门廊上走着，一会儿倚着栏杆，一会儿凝望月亮。“这是不关我的事，”库珀说，清清嗓子，“前几天晚上，因为你提到泰特，我说了你几句。想想你说过的话，薇洛，你为什么不早点带着莉莉贝尔离开他，非得弄到悔之已晚的时候呢？我是说，在泰特追上你，把你们拖回家之前，你就该离开他。”

她在挪过来的那把椅子上坐下，双手拂过脸颊，“害怕，库珀。他说了，他会找到我们，夺走我的女儿。我自己没经济来源。读大学就辍了学的。我清楚，他父亲不会帮我们，在我们结婚前他就阐明了立场。我妈妈也没能力。我想，除非这儿的情形不堪忍受，至少我们还有吃的，还有个遮风挡雨的地方。”“那些虐待呢？”“库珀，不要那样判定我的事！泰特的虐待主要是嘴上功夫。他打过我一次，但只要他敢打莉莉贝尔，我早就不会坐在这里了。”

饲料老板告诉过他，他老婆就见过薇洛身上青一块紫一块的，当时她还怀着孕。库珀没提这事。争论无济于事，他不可能让死人来买单，“你还差几个学分才毕业？”他问道，话锋一转，“你打算做老师。我老觉得你准会是个了不起的老师。你还有暑期和莉莉在一起。”“我大三就辍学了。教学实习的学分没拿到，因为我中途走了。难道我就没梦想过重新拿学位吗？我要是一离开这儿，就得找份工作，支付房租，负担吃的穿的，还有莉莉贝尔上特殊学校的开销。”

库珀摆弄着书的封面，“你该找找单亲妈妈学校，肯定有些贷款和政府资助项目。这个农场是小点，但收入应该可以应付你读完大学。大学校园有时也有育儿项目。”“真的？我只指望卖的钱能支付抵押贷款，再能余下点油钱去圣安东尼奥或奥斯汀。”“我不知道你还欠银行的。饲料店的家伙说，泰特老是夸海口，说他爸在这儿把什么事都安排得周周全全。贷款还欠多少？”“我也说不准。泰特过世前，他和他父亲又贷了款。我一直在付利息。我跟地产经纪人谈了，出价不得少于银行贷款。”她合上眼，揉着脖子后部。

库珀看得出，这些谈话让她不快，“嘿，耽误你睡觉了。”他站起身，把书放在栏杆上，收起吉他，“这几天我会把门廊加固维修好。”“库珀，大恩不言谢。”“这样，我也不用回到德拉蒙德三人农场，去面对萨利喽。”

她认真地看着他，“你哥哥挺厉害的。”“啊……怎么说呢……”库珀耸耸肩，一边拿起两把椅子，准备放到屋里。“你就不留一把在这儿，明天吃早餐用？”“算啦，给我包几块饼干、咸肉就行了。我骑马去修栅栏，弄几个三明治吃吃就行。明天晚上，这油漆就干了，可以坐人了。”

她扶着纱门等他离开门廊了才上锁。

睡觉前，薇洛看了看莉莉贝尔，她躺在被单上，手脚随意地摆成八字，睡梦中可爱的小天使。好在她醒着时大多数时间都是乖巧可爱的。但薇洛绝没对库珀撒谎。莉莉偶尔火爆的脾气真是难缠。薇洛把兔子从地上捡起，塞在被单下面，这样她一醒来就见得着。

薇洛回到自己的房间，准备睡觉，可睡意阑珊。早已尘封的希望、梦想，经库珀的话一点拨，一下复活了。没错，她还渴望当名老师。库珀清楚她目前的处境，但他的话点燃了她的希望，拿到学位是有可能的。

打个哈欠，她翻了个身。这是她以前爱库珀的原因，遇上什么事他都能让你看到希望。可这也有不好的一面。那时，一想起他成天在牲畜通道里爬上爬下，就让她心惊胆战。她对他参加竞技赛忧心忡忡，可他却置若罔闻。她头下的枕头被揉成了一团。她的一切担心挂虑都付诸东流。如今他出现在她面前，没少胳膊缺腿的。哎，还真有他的。想着库珀和她同榻共枕该有多温馨啊，薇洛渐入梦乡。

翌日一早，库珀干活就不顺心。他把锤子的把手摔断了，打桩的活干不了了。检查了一下下陷的门廊，他发现厨房水管有处漏水，漏的水朽坏了支撑柱。他趴下去，找到了渗水的管道，再给换上。“薇洛，我得去镇上一趟，买个把手和一些管道材料。你要买什么不？牛奶、鸡蛋还买不买？”“鸡又生蛋了。牛奶——牛奶总要买的。我真不该卖了奶牛，但天旱，没了鲜嫩草料，喂起来很难。你买了这些器具，再买这些日用食品，不嫌麻烦？”“就在一个店里买，你列个单子。我去看看喂我马的谷物还剩多少，最好一趟搞定。”

薇洛肩靠着门框，望着他的背影远去，步履舒缓，臀部一翘一翘的。她爱他这步态。她禁不住惊叹一番。泰特从不踏进副食店，除了买啤酒。

她想到了需要添置的几样东西。可库珀走后，她开始为开销犯愁。他是没向她提钱的事，她也没把她救急用的钱拿给他点。她长期养成习惯了，老在药箱里藏点钱，够她和莉莉买车票。她知道，泰特不会去搜药箱的，哪怕他醉了，翻箱倒柜，满屋找钱买酒、玩牌。也许她该把这钱给库珀，可是，虽说她的境况变了，但还是很难一下子放弃自己的逃生之路。

薇洛做了软炸的牛排、炸薯条，库珀开车进来时，饭还热在烤箱里。她嘘了口气，放下窗帘。他一去就这么久，她脑子里乱糟糟的。理智说，他的马还在，人就不会走；理智说，他不会像泰特一样经常酗酒惹事；可理智没有说，他在镇上就不会跟哪个女人勾搭上。

薇洛给莉莉又添了一次通心粉和奶酪。她深吸几口气，平静自己紧张的神经。

她没想到，库珀突然进屋了，扛的副食品比单子上的还多。“不管你做什么吃的，总是那么香。”他吸了几口气，一边放下袋子，再把牛奶存入冰箱，“啊，饭都做好了，”他说道，见薇洛端出两个盖住的盘子，“我们就在你桌上吃吧，我还可以把剩下的东西整理整理。抱歉，我回来晚了。我不得不先去趟克里斯特尔城买水管材料，然后再回到卡里索斯普林斯买副食品。可那儿在游行，过辣椒节。这附近，恐怕就你和莉莉不在现场了。交通处于瘫痪状态。”没等她再坚持，他已经在厨房洗涤盆里洗了把脸，再从她带着防热手套的手上取了个热乎乎的盘子。

他坐下就开吃了。

薇洛正要开口抗议他的专横霸道，先斜眼看了看莉莉贝尔，女孩正一调羹一调羹地吃着。薇洛见女儿并不介意，自己也不想显得那么不领情，于是她坐下，取下手套，慢慢剥下盘子上的箔纸，“我不知道节日这回事儿，也不看地方报纸。我也没时间。”“我给你买了个收音机。”库珀说道。

薇洛一下愣在那儿，“你怎么啦？库珀！收音机很贵的！”“送你的。不许再拿去卖了。你需要了解周围在发生什么事，世界在发生什么事。”“我……谢谢你啦。我真不知该说什么好。”“谢谢二字足够了。没关系的。”

可那对薇洛而言有关系。这关系比他想象的要大。

他们吃饭时没有更多的言语交流。但这寂静没让人觉得不舒服。薇洛想过了，她以前就不该畏首畏尾地不让他和她们一块吃饭。

他们差不多同时吃完饭。她收拾桌子，把碗碟放到水槽里浸泡着，再回头来帮他卸下桌台上的袋子，“这是什么？”她问道，从装麦片盒的袋子里拿出个更小的塑料袋。“彩图绘画本和蜡笔，给莉莉小姐买的，”库珀答道，朝小女孩笑笑，“书上画的是农场动物。蜡笔是无毒的。”“库珀……”“你叫我名字那语气，听上去让人觉得我是白痴。”“不，不，不，不是那样的。”各种情感涌上心头，让她难以呼吸，“我试过彩图绘画，她吃蜡笔。我是……被感动了，被你的慷慨感动了。我一时不知说什么好。”“我不是要你感谢我。”他翻着绘画本，撕下有小马驹的一页，“马——”他重复道，“马——”他指着放在莉莉面前的图画。随后，他挨着她坐下，哗啦把胖胖的蜡笔倒出来，挑了只红色的，说，“红色，你衬衣的颜色。”他手指着，“蓝色，我衬衣的颜色。”每种颜色库珀都联系实物，然后用蜡笔在马身上画一下。“好啦，该你了，”他说，见她埋下头好看得清楚点，他很高兴。他把住她的手，教她握住蜡笔，可她手缩了回去，扔下蜡笔。库珀再涂色，再把笔递给她。这次，她拿住笔，在画上先描线，再着色。

薇洛把副食品收拾好了，他的耐心让她着迷。她拿出了收音机。库珀买收音机给她就已经够体贴周到了。买本简单的彩图绘画本更让她感动得不得了。她看见女儿真的握着蜡笔，在书中马的身上涂鸦，这让她充满了异样的幸福感。不知道库珀是否知道，他对莉莉贝尔的关心，其意义远胜过他在农场干的这些苦活。对此，她有点怀疑。她想拥抱他，但那太不明智了；他俩还有堵墙横在中间。

库珀抬头，看见薇洛专心地看着他，他的嘴慢慢咧开笑了。

甜言蜜语缠住了她的舌头，可她欲言又止，薇洛长舒了一口气，好像憋了很久，“库珀·德拉蒙德，”她喃喃道，“你真像个可爱的孩子。”

他眨巴眨巴眼睛，微笑着。后来，莉莉在彩虹色的马上涂色涂累了。她靠后一坐，抱着兔子，努力睁大眼睛，望着库珀把蜡笔放回盒子。

这一切，薇洛看在眼里，“该上床睡觉了，小姐。”薇洛绕过台面走过来，抱起打瞌睡的女儿，“库珀……我……”

他起身，“时候不早了，我也该走了，”他说，把蜡笔塞在彩色绘图本上面。他和薇洛相对无言，莉莉耷拉在妈妈的怀里，伸出只手，还拿着她刚刚涂的那页纸。

他们不需要语言来述说女孩的巨大变化。这已经给他们紧张的关系带来了一定的缓和，这从他们越过莉莉头顶相遇的眼神中可以清清楚楚地反映出来。

Chapter Eight

The next few days marched past in four-four time. Willow worked on painting the house while Coop finished the fence. One afternoon, he mentioned needing Liquamycin to vaccinate the herd.

"Is that really necessary? How costly would that be?"

"I told you it's needed to sell them. I'll do it myself and save getting a vet out here. That's where the biggest cost would be."

"That's nice of you, Coop. But isn't it too much work?"

"I'm fine with it, Willow."

The morning Coop decided to go into town after the vaccine, he stopped at the house first. Willow was already painting. She'd started on the shady side of the house as it'd been so hot. Coop thought she looked cute in shorts and her too-big gloves. With her blond hair tied up in loopy braids, she reminded him a little of Daisy Duke.

She bobbed her head in time to music blaring from the radio, and Lily sat on a blanket near the radio, too. He was glad she liked his gift, and made a mental note to stock up on batteries. Still, the idea of leaving her on the ranch alone gave him pause. "Hey, I'm going into town. Do you need anything?"

Willow hadn't seen him, and jumped when he spoke behind her.

"I did a count, and over half your herd aren't branded," he added. "I don't want you to get cheated at market. Counting brands is the only way to safeguard against that. But I can't find a branding iron in the barn or shed. You couldn't have sold something so specific. Do you know where the irons might be?"

"The yearlings were born about the time Tate died. Bart didn't come to the ranch, but he sent a vet to give the calves something Bart called their five-in-one shots. None of them were branded, but those wouldn't represent half my herd. Steers over a year old, Tate should have branded."

Big surprise, Coop thought. Another job Tate had skipped. "Tate was all about show and no substance. If he lacked the skill to prove he was the best at anything, he didn't tackle the job, or he lied to cover up his inadequacies. He fooled a lot of people," Coop muttered. It still grated to think Willow hadn't seen through the lazy bum.

She stood there, paint dripping from her brush, her blue eyes suddenly hard. "I'm sorry another one of my problems has been dropped in your lap, Cooper."

He slashed a hand through the air. "Do you have a registered brand?"

"Wouldn't my brand be what's on the older cattle? Now what's wrong?" she demanded as Coop pursed his lips. "You look like you ate a lemon."

"Your older cows have the Bar W, Bart Walker's brand. Considering all the claims Sully's filed against him for rustling, I'm not keen to try and sell Bar W cows at a major market."

Willow drew in a sharp breath, then shifted her gaze to her daughter, rocking on her blanket. "Lilybelle and I are Walkers," she said emphatically. "If you'll brand my cattle, I will sell them at market. No need for you to bother yourself."

Coop removed his hat and slapped it against his thigh three or four times as anger at her words sizzled inside him. "Thunderheads are building in the south. We may be in for a storm. So we should keep our eyes peeled for signs the next few afternoons." With a brief, jerky nod, he resettled his hat on his sweaty head, wheeled around on a worn boot heel, walked to his pickup and climbed in.

The dust kicked up by his oversize tires had blown past before Willow was able to resume her painting. Here she thought they'd gotten past the hurdle of Tate, but obviously not. Even though she'd made a real effort... After the night with the coloring, she'd invited Coop to have supper in the house with her and Lily.

Now she wasn't sure it was such a good idea—for her sake. Lily was thriving. In the nights since that first coloring episode, she'd filled half the pages of the book with her earnest scribbles. She loved the pony best. She carried the page around, but remained mute whenever Coop told her the name of each color, repeating them over and over. Lily could actually pick out red, blue and yellow, her favorite crayons, as Cooper named them, which delighted Willow. And Lily showed a definite preference for the bright ones. She refused to use black or brown. Coop seemed to think that was significant. What each small step did was give Willow renewed hope and confirm the need to move someplace where she'd be able to find an appropriate school for her daughter.

If Willow had been lulled into believing her relationship with Coop had improved, the branding discussion dashed her hopes. And Coop was in town all day. It was well past suppertime when he returned, and then he went straight to the barn after unloading whatever he'd bought. The plate of spaghetti and meatballs she'd kept warm for him in the oven dried out. It felt as if her heart shriveled a bit, too, like the overcooked spaghetti.

That night she couldn't help herself; she soaked her pillow with her tears. Crying was something she hadn't done in months. Crying weakened her and solved nothing. Coop couldn't know how many tears she'd shed over him in the years since he'd gone off to rodeo. Oh, how she regretted letting him go.

The one bright spot in her marriage had been the birth of her baby. And that joy had only lasted until Lily's diagnosis.

Coop might hate the Walkers, but the Drummonds had their faults, as well. Sullivan wasn't exactly a charmer. Willow blotted her tears, recalling an altercation she'd had with Sully Drummond shortly before she and Tate left Hondo. Cooper's brother blamed her for Coop's going off to rodeo. As if she had the power to stop him! Would Sully care that she'd paid again and again for marrying Tate?

He probably hadn't given her another thought after ranting at her that day. Coop's brother and Tate's dad were both rich, powerful, difficult men. Tate took delight in telling her that Sully ran the Triple D with an iron fist and that he hated her for not stopping his little brother from leaving Hondo. Then Tate would laugh. And Bart Walker clearly thought his son was stupid to marry, "a Drummond's leavings." Of course, Tate's dad judged all women by his kids' mother, who'd run off, abandoning him and his two sons.

Climbing out of bed, Willow blew her nose and washed her tear-swollen eyes with cool water. She could imagine what Coop's brother would have to say now if he suspected her of trying to worm her way back into Coop's life. According to Tate, Sully had married a veterinarian. A smart, classy, professional woman. They were older by half a dozen years, and Willow hadn't spent any time at the Triple D, because her mother hadn't thought it was "proper" for a girl to visit a ranch run by three men. So she knew virtually nothing about Sully's wife. Her world back then had been narrow. She'd attended school, worked part-time stocking grocery shelves at night and helped her mother take care of her dad.

She crawled back into bed, but couldn't stop reviewing the past. She doubted Sully or anyone would believe she'd married Tate because she loved Cooper too much. But it was true. She loved him too much to risk marriage, certain she couldn't be the wife he'd need if he had an accident or was maimed for life on the circuit. She already experienced what being a rodeo invalid had done to her father—and her family. She was positive she didn't have what it would take to see Cooper killed or maimed by being thrown off a bucking horse. That fear, especially the fear that he might die, had paralyzed her.

Men as strong and tough as Sully Drummond wouldn't understand the toll her father's accident took on her and her mom. Yet people had seen them cope, so they'd probably find her intense fear for Coop hard to believe—and the fact that it had driven her to accept Tate's marriage proposal even harder. During Sully's rant, he'd told her everybody in Hondo knew Tate coveted everything Coop had.

Not her. She hadn't been so naive as to suppose Coop and Tate's many run-ins had nothing to do with her. But once she'd made her choice to marry Tate, she thought all of them—Sully, Cooper and Tate himself—should have known she'd never be a disloyal wife.

However, the ink on her marriage certificate was barely dry when Tate boasted about beating Coop in this one area that would hit Coop the hardest—like she was a trophy in a sporting match. Unfortunately, during unpacking, Tate had found and read an old diary of hers. In it, like the silly high school girl she'd been, she'd written that she'd always love Coop Drummond.

That had infuriated Tate. From then on, he'd isolated her here on the ranch as much as possible, and he'd punished her by making sure she saw every rodeo magazine that showed Coop with a bevy of women.

Pride stopped her from leaving Tate that first year before Lilybelle was born. She'd mistakenly assumed her pregnancy would effect a change in her husband's conduct toward her. It hadn't.

Flopping over, Willow kicked off the sheet. Yes, she'd been foolish back then, but now her focus had to be on Lily—on securing better medical assessments and schooling. As much as she'd love to explain her situation so Coop could understand it, she couldn't, no matter how desperately she long to have him back in her life.

THE NEXT MORNING, after suffering a restless, sleepless night, Willow resolved to do what she had to about Coop. Determined to end his stay on her ranch, she drove the old pickup, with Lily in her booster seat, out onto the range.

Early though it was, the sun was already beating down and Coop worked without his shirt. Stopping by the new fence he'd installed, Willow watched him rope, throw and quickly vaccinate a bawling steer. The play of Cooper's tanned muscles as he performed his task was like a kick to her stomach. She remembered how smooth yet hard his body had once felt under her exploring hands.

Mouth dry, she clambered out of the aging Chevy and hauled Lily into her arms.

Coop had cut out another huge Angus steer when he noticed Willow climbing onto the fence. "What's up?" he asked, trotting over to meet her. "You and the kiddo shouldn't be inside the enclosure. The shots can make the cattle cantankerous."

Willow backed away, but against her will, her eyes were drawn to the wings of dark hair that dusted his pecs, trailing down in a narrow ribbon to his navel, then disappearing under one of his flashy championship belt buckles. "I was going to tell you last night, Coop, but you didn't come to the house for supper. I just can't accept your charity anymore. This time it's not open for negotiation. You have to leave. Tomorrow at the latest."

Frowning, Coop walked to a tree and picked up a thermos, pouring water over his head before taking a swallow. His back ached. He was sunburned to a crisp, and parched. Yesterday he'd had to drive all the way to Eagle Pass, a border town, to find a vet clinic that could supply him with enough syringes to vaccinate Willow's herd. Vaccination that should've been done by Willow's lazy, good-for-nothing husband. How was he supposed to react to the news that she was kicking him off her ranch?

Having delivered her message, Willow set Lily outside the fence and then began to climb over. She'd hardly had a leg up when Coop reached across the fence and circled her upper arm. "Wait a darned minute. I thought we had a plan. I'm only half-done vaccinating. I had a blacksmith make up an iron yesterday so that once I'm finished with this I can begin branding. Am I happy about using the Bar W? Hell, no. But they're your cows, and I'm just the hired hand. I figured we went back far enough that I could tell you how I felt about Bart Walker without you getting into a snit." He paused. "I'm assuming our discussion about brands yesterday is the catalyst for your little speech today."

She shook loose from his grasp, but even then felt the imprint of his fingers on her arm. "The real crux of the matter is that you're not just my hired hand. The more you take on, the more you do around here, the more I owe you. I don't like being indebted to anyone. And you made quite clear yesterday how little you really think of me—of my choices at least."

"Bullshit," he lashed out. He would've said more, but Willow reared back and her eyes grew stormy.

"Ears," she hissed, cupping her palms over Lily's small ears.

"Sorry," Coop shot back with a modicum of guilt. "Oh, what the hell. Why should I fight to stay someplace I'm not wanted?"

Willow clenched her hands at her sides, but it rocked her to hear Coop state that so bluntly. Still faced off, their attention was drawn down hill to the main highway, where a dark-colored SUV with smoked windows passed slowly. When the vehicle reached the end of Willow's property, instead of speeding up to go on, the driver swung out, made a U-turn and went back the way he'd come, moving even more slowly.

"Anyone you recognize?" Coop asked Willow.

She shook her head. "Maybe it's one of your rodeo groupies trying to track you down."

"Why don't you cut me some slack," he snapped. "It's more likely a prospective buyer sent here by your Realtor to have a look."

"You think so?" she asked excitedly. Then her tension returned. "I should be down there painting the front of the house instead of arguing with you."

"Take it easy. They would've seen the paint cans and the ladder, and they would've noticed that one side is already a different color."

"I hope so. Having the siding washed and the porch and fence repaired makes it look a lot better. I should get back down there and start on the front."

"I'll finish up here today, then come and help you," Coop said, as if she hadn't just fired him.

She scooped up Lily, who was a foot or so away, absorbed in picking dandelions. Boosting the girl onto her hip, Willow was shocked when her daughter twisted in her arms and extended the flowers she held toward Cooper. She said a word that sounded a lot like music.

Coop leaned over the fence and took the flowers. "Did you hear that, Willow? Now do you think you can admit that maybe I was right about the smile, right about her getting something out of my playing?"

Tears filled Willow's eyes as she hugged her daughter. "Yes, yes," she said shakily.

"Why are you crying? It's a solid breakthrough. We need to build on her interest in my guitar. I'll go into town and buy her an electronic keyboard. We can set it up in her room and show her how to pound on it and make music for herself." His gestures demonstrated his excitement. "There's no reason for me not to stay on, Willow."

"But there is," she said, remaining firm. "I'm grateful for everything you've done, Cooper. I am. But I can't afford to let Lily get too attached to you. You can't stay." Willow hurried to her pickup, sheltering the child in her arms as if any exposure to Coop now would be harmful.

He scowled after her, thinking none of her recent actions made any sense. Just this morning he'd texted Sully, asking his brother to transfer some funds into his nearly depleted bank account. Coop had stuck his neck out, telling Sully where he was. He'd explained how he'd stumbled across Willow, said Tate was dead and that Willow needed his help.

Sullivan had texted back, giving Coop hell, asking what kind of idiot he was. He'd let Willow humiliate him once by marrying their jerk of a neighbor, and now Coop wanted Triple D profits to do—what? Prove he was a better man than that useless Tate Walker? Sully had said Coop was off his rocker. And in typical big-brother fashion, he'd ordered Coop home to do his share of work on the ranch and maybe earn some part of what he'd cavalierly considered his due.

Coop was still steamed. He owned one half the damned ranch! Coming out here to work out his anger roping and throwing these bad-boy steers suited his mood. Mad at Sully, and feeling no benevolence toward Willow at the moment, Coop threw his back into finishing the chore he'd started.

The way he'd left things with Sully, Coop figured he had no alternative other than to waste a whole day driving to the Triple D to duke it out face-to-face. Sully could fork over some money as a loan against future work, or he could buy out Coop's interest in the ranch. If Sully had to mortgage his ass to do that, it'd serve him right.

Coop roped five more uncooperative steers and gave them shots. Sweat poured off him and was breathing hard. His exertion diminished his fury. Finally able to examine the situation more objectively, he considered what wasting a couple of days to make the round trip drive home might mean. If that was a prospective buyer in the SUV, Willow could sign a deal and just take off.

Then he might never find her again if, say, she went to one of the bigger cities she'd mentioned that offered better care for Lilybelle. Especially if she wanted to disappear, if she didn't want him to locate her.

Coop couldn't say why that very notion cut him so deeply, but it did.

The problem with doing a mindless task like this, no matter how physical, was that it let his thoughts run rampant.

Pushing himself to finish the last thirty head or so, Coop began to realize how much he liked having Willow in his life again. And Lily, named for his mother. That sweet child was a bonus.

He spent another hour mulling over this revelation. Draining his thermos of water, Coop stopped short of calling his still-conflicted feelings for Willow love. But...

His hastily thrown rope missed a steer zigzagging through stickery mesquite. A branch slapped back, ripping a welt along his side, which sprouted a few drops of blood. That made him knuckle down again.

He packed up what was left of the supplies, but noticed the sun sinking over the hills to the west right about the time he finally decided to march up to Willow's door this evening and lay every thing on the line.

AFTER CHANGING INTO her painting clothes, Willow finished a good share of the exterior front wall by noon. She half expected Coop to quit the job he was doing, drive down and get ready to leave. But he didn't. If she stepped over to the edge of the house he was visible much of the time. He looked fine. Too fine for her peace of mind.

Upset by that, she cleaned up her paint mess by about five and began to fix supper. It was late enough that she assumed Coop would want to eat before he took off. Exhausted, Willow didn't think she had the energy to face Coop again. Closing her eyes, she felt her resolve to send him away weaken.

For that reason, she went to the front window every few minutes as supper cooked, watching for him. She knew he'd clean up before walking to the house. She decided she'd just set out a plate for him.

It grew later and later. Clouds had rolled in to darken the sky, and twilight bathed everything in a shadowy pinkish gray. If not for the fact that Coop's pickup and horse trailer hadn't moved, Willow might wonder if he'd taken her at her word and simply left.

At the thought of that, an ache settled in her heart. What did you expect? She'd issued that edict for the... what—fifth time? Sixth? And yet she felt so ambivalent. Was she that pathetic?

She fed Lily early. Willow's stomach was too jumpy; she couldn't eat any of the meat loaf she'd made for Cooper. She'd chosen his favorite meal she realized, as she prepared his plate and covered it with foil. Between dashing to the window to peer out, she washed pots and pans to steady her nerves. The sporadic rumbling of thunder added to her anxiety as she waited. And waited. Waited for any sign that Coop was coming to eat his last meal at the ranch. Or... he'd been eating inside this past week. What if he expected to do that tonight? It would be difficult. But his going away was inevitable. It had to be.

Despite the heaviness of her heart, Willow argued with an internal voice that continued to ask why she was sending him away. "Because it's right," she answered out loud. "This is a no-win situation."

Lily glanced up from her plate, her hazel eyes curious, or so it seemed to Willow. She was fascinated by Coop, reveled in his attention. And so did Willow. But therein lay the whole sad truth of it. At the moment they were like a new project to Coop. Eventually he'd tire of them. Coop Drummond was like a rolling stone. He'd abandoned her for the rodeo. Now he'd left the rodeo, but he wouldn't commit to working on the Triple D. Whatever was next on his agenda, Willow couldn't allow her daughter's fragile heart to be caught in the wreckage Cooper Drummond was sure to leave behind.

第八章

接下来的几天，日子慢悠悠地过了。薇洛漆墙，库珀把栅栏维修完。一天下午，他说要买盐酸土霉素给牛群打疫苗。“真有必要吗？得花多少钱？”“我不说了嘛，卖牲口就得打疫苗。我自己来做，省得请兽医。不过，这笔开销最大。”“库珀，真得谢谢你啦。这活会很重吗？”“我能行，薇洛。”

早上库珀要去镇上操办疫苗的事，他先在屋前停了会儿。薇洛已经在忙着漆屋，烈日炎炎，她就先漆阴面的。她穿着短裤，戴着大几号的手套，在库珀眼里她很可爱。她的金发扎成辫子，盘在头上，这让库珀想起黛茜·杜克。

收音机里响着音乐，她的头随节奏而动，莉莉坐在地毯上，也靠近收音机。她喜欢库珀送的礼物，这让他很开心。他还想着该给她买电池。可是，想到把她一个人留在农场，他有点犹豫了，“嘿，我去镇上，需要买什么不？”

薇洛先没看见他，听他在背后说话，吓了一跳。“我数了数，有一半多的牲口没烙印，”他补了句，“我不想你在算价钱时给人蒙骗了。数烙印是唯一稳妥之法。但在牲口棚我找不着烙铁。你不会把这么个工具给卖了吧。你知道烙铁可能在哪儿吗？”“一岁大的牲畜是泰特过世时出生的。巴特没来农场，他找了个兽医，给小牛注射了可以预防五种疾病的针药。他们都没烙印，但数量不到一半。一岁以上的，泰特应该已经烙印了。”

真够奇怪的，库珀想。又一件泰特忽略了的要紧事，“泰特就是个徒有其表、华而不实的家伙。他要是没能力证明自己干什么事是最棒的，他就会避而远之，不然就撒谎藏拙，他蒙了不少人。”库珀抱怨道。薇洛居然没看出这偷懒耍滑的家伙，想起来他就恼火。

她站那儿，油漆从刷子上滴落，她的蓝色的眼睛一下变严肃了，“很抱歉，库珀，我的麻烦事又让你来兜着。”

他甩手在空中一挥，“注册商标了吗？”“我的商标不就是用原来的吗？眼下还有什么问题？”看到库珀噘起了嘴，她追问道，“你的表情像吃了柠檬。”“以前的牛群烙的是巴特·沃克的印W。一想起萨利曾指控巴特·沃克偷马的事，我就不想把烙下W印的马运送去大市场卖。”

薇洛猛吸了口气，目光移向女儿，她在地毯上摇晃着身子，“莉莉贝尔和我都姓沃克，”她强调道，“如果你愿意给我的牛群烙印，我就去市场卖。不然，我就不敢劳您大驾了。”

库珀一听这话，火气嘶嘶地往上蹿，他脱下帽子，在大腿上啪啦啪啦地打着，“南面云层堆起了，也许会有暴雨。以后这几个下午，我们的眼睛得尖点。”他快速地点下头，戴好帽子，一转身走到他的皮卡，上了车。他靴子的后跟磨破了。

大轮胎掀起一股尘土。薇洛等着灰尘过了再开始刷漆。她以为他俩已经跨过了泰特这道坎，可显然还没有迈过去。虽说她已经够努力了……自打他买了彩图绘画本那晚起，她就请他进屋跟她和莉莉一块用餐了。

现在，她拿不准这是不是个好主意——为她好的主意。莉莉的状况好多了。自打第一次给彩图本涂色起，后来这些晚上她已经涂了一半了，涂得还很认真。她最喜欢马驹，随时拿在手上，只是库珀跟她讲颜色名称时，老不吭声，哪怕库珀一遍又一遍地重复。莉莉可以辨别出红、蓝、黄三种颜色了，能选出她最喜欢的蜡笔。库珀是这么说的，这些都让薇洛开心得意。而莉莉尤其偏爱鲜艳的色彩，不喜欢用黑色、棕色。库珀以为，这一点很关键。莉莉每前进一小步都给薇洛新的希望，让她坚信有必要搬家到个新地方，让女儿接受合适的教育。

薇洛要是就此认为她和库珀的关系已经修好了，那么，烙印这番争论就打灭了她的希望。库珀一整天都在镇上，回来时早过了晚饭时间，他卸下他买的货，径直回牲口棚了。一盘通心粉和肉丸一直在烤箱里，都热干了。她的心一样，也有点枯萎了，像煮过火的通心粉。

那一夜，她按捺不住自己了，泪水浸湿了枕头，她好几个月没哭过了。哭鼻子抹眼泪让她懈怠，且于事无补。库珀哪儿会知道，自从他去参加了竞技赛，这些年她为他抹过了多少眼泪。哎，她有多后悔当初没留住他。

小孩的出生曾给她的婚姻带来了一线转机，可好景不长，莉莉被诊断得病了。

库珀兴许恨沃克一家，可德拉蒙德一家也有自个的短处。沙利文也是个难缠的。薇洛擦擦眼泪，回想起就在她和泰特离开洪多前，自己和沙利文有过一次口角。库珀的哥哥因为库珀去竞技赛而责怪她，那口气好像她拦得住他似的。她嫁给了泰特之后已经一次又一次地为自己的行为买单了，萨利会在乎吗？

或许萨利那天对她一阵数落之后压根就再没记起过她。库珀的哥哥，泰特的父亲，两个都有钱、性格强势，不好相处。泰特喜欢告诉她，萨利在德拉蒙德三人农场的管理上如何霸道，还有萨利恨她没阻拦其弟离开洪多。讲完了，泰特就大笑一通。而巴特·沃克显然认为他的儿子蠢，娶了个“德拉蒙德家族不要了的女人”。当然，泰特的父亲判断女人都拿他孩子妈做例子：抛夫弃子，离家出走。

薇洛从床上爬起来，擤擤鼻涕，用凉水洗了洗哭肿的眼睛。她想象得到，要是库珀的哥哥疑心她试图回到库珀的生活，他会讲出多难听的话。泰特说，萨利娶了个兽医，是个聪明漂亮的职业女性。他兄弟俩要年长五六岁，薇洛从未去过德拉蒙德三人农场，因为她妈妈说这“不成体统”，一个女孩子家不该去三个男人经营的农场。她其实一点都不了解萨利的太太。当时她的天地非常狭窄。她得白天上学，晚上干零活，给杂货店货架上货，还得帮妈妈照顾爸爸。

她爬回床上，可没法不想往事。她怀疑萨利或别的任何人不会相信，她嫁给泰特是因为她太爱库珀了。可这是真心话。她爱之太切，不敢拿婚姻去赌一把。她确信要是库珀在竞技赛上出意外事故，或者身子残疾了，她做不了他需要的妻子。她已经经历过了她父亲，一个竞技赛残疾人所承受的痛苦——还有给家人带来的痛楚。她没有勇气看到库珀丧命或被赛马扔下摔残废，这一点她很肯定。她的恐惧，特别是害怕他会骑马摔死的恐惧，使她惊恐万状。

像萨利·德拉蒙德那样的男人，强壮、强横，体会不到他父亲的意外让她妈和她付出的沉重代价。还有，人们都看到两人在竞争，因此难以理解她对库珀参加竞技赛的惊恐——更难理解这恐惧反倒促成了她接受泰特的求婚。萨利在争吵时说，洪多谁人不知，泰特对库珀所拥有的一切都垂涎三尺。

她才不呢。她还没那么天真，以为库珀和泰特之间的是是非非和她没关系。但她一旦选择嫁给了泰特，就认为他们仨人——萨利、库珀和泰特自己——应当清楚，她永不会做不忠于丈夫的妻子。

谁料得到，她婚姻证书墨迹未干，泰特就夸下海口，他已经给予库珀最沉痛的打击——似乎她就是他俩这场争斗的战利品。天有不测风云，在打开她的包裹时，泰特发现了她以往的一本日记，他也读了。当时还是一个傻乎乎的中学生的她，在日记里写了她一直爱的是库珀·德拉蒙德。

这激怒了泰特。从此，他让她一人呆在农场，独守空房。他还惩罚她，保证她看到所有的竞技赛杂志，只要上面有库珀身边围着一群女人的照片。

她没法离开泰特，自尊心拦住了她，那是莉莉贝尔出生的前一年。她误以为她怀有身孕了，丈夫待她会有所改变，可他没有。

薇洛踢开床单，不睡了。是呀，从前她太傻了，但是现在她关注的中心是莉莉能得到更好的医疗和教育。她也很想给库珀说明她的处境，这样库珀就能理解她，可无论她心里多么希望库珀回到她身边，她就是说不出口。

薇洛辗转反侧，一夜未眠。第二天早晨，她拿定主意，该对库珀有个了结了，她决心不让他再呆下去。她开上老皮卡到了牧场，把莉莉放在垫高椅上。

时辰虽早，可太阳已经火辣辣的了。库珀正干着活，没穿衬衣。薇洛站在他新打修的栅栏前，看着他用绳套牛，摁住，迅速给一头哞哞叫的牛打了疫苗。库珀干着活，只见他那晒黑的肌肉活动自如。这让薇洛的心一动。在她记忆中，但凡手触摸之处，他的身体都那么光滑、有韧性。

她感到口干舌燥，爬出老雪佛兰，把莉莉抱在怀里。

库珀刚给一头体格高大的安格斯牛打完疫苗，一下就看见薇洛爬进了栅栏，“有事吗？”他问，快步过来，“你和小孩不要进围场来，打针时牛会发脾气。”

薇洛后退几步，眼睛不自主地瞄向他乌黑的体毛，它们覆盖在胸大肌上，一直到肚脐眼，拧成小股，消失在闪光耀眼的冠军腰带扣里，“库珀，我昨晚本来要跟你说的，可你没过来吃晚饭。我实在不能再接受你的帮助了。这次没商量，你必须离开这儿，最迟明天。”

库珀皱皱眉，走到一棵树下，拿起热水瓶，在喝之前先浇了些水到头上。他感到背疼。后背被太阳晒得脱了层皮，火辣火辣的。昨天他必须开车到一所边城伊格尔帕斯，去找兽医诊所，买够注射器给薇洛的牛群打疫苗。疫苗本该由她那位懒惰、没用的老公来干。现在她要把他踢出农场。不知他听到这话，会作何反应。

薇洛话说完了，把莉莉搁在栅栏外，随后开始往栅栏上爬。她一只腿还没搭上去，库珀已经绕过去，抓住她的手臂，“再等等行不。我们是在按计划行事。我的疫苗才做到一半。昨天我让个铁匠做了烙铁，等着干完了，我就开始烙印。你以为我会乐意用沃克家的烙印吗？我不乐意。但是，这些是你的牛群，我只是受人雇佣。我以为咱俩的关系已经缓和了，就算跟你说我对巴特·沃克的感受，也不会惹你动气。”他停了停，“我猜，是我们昨天说到烙印的那些话，才引出你这一通高论的吧。”

她挣开他的手，但他还是在她的臂膀上落下了指痕，“问题就在这儿，你不只是我雇的帮手。你越做得多，呆得越久，我欠你的就越多。我不想欠别人的。昨天你不是说得很明白嘛，你才不管我的感受——至少不管我的选择嘛。”“真是扯淡。”他痛斥道。但他话没往下说，薇洛退后几步，两眼直冒怒火。“嘴巴干净点。”她嘘了声，双手捂住莉莉的小耳朵。“不好意思，”库珀应了声，略带歉疚，“哎，见鬼了。我干吗非要留在别人不愿意我留的地方？”

薇洛双手叉在腰间，可一听库珀的话说得那么直白，这让她一震。两人依然对峙着，但他们注意到远处小山坡上有一辆窗户烟熏过的深色皮卡慢慢开过来了。车到了薇洛农场的尽头没加速，掉头来了个U字形转弯，顺着来的路往回开，速度更慢了。“你认识的人吗？”库珀问道。

她摇头，“也许是你的追星族在四处找你吧。”“你就别损我了，”他生气道，“更有可能是哪个买家吧，或许地产经纪人让他过来瞧瞧。”“你真这么看？”她问道，有点激动了，可她又紧张起来，“我真该呆在那儿给房屋上漆，而不是来这儿跟你吵。”“别紧张。他们该看到了油漆和梯子，也该看到有一面颜色不同了。”“但愿喽。墙面清洗了，门廊、栅栏维修了，看上去大不一样了。我该回去漆正面墙了。”“今天我这儿就完工了，回头再帮你那儿。”库珀说道，好像自己还没被解雇。

莉莉在一英尺左右远的地方，不停地采着蒲公英。薇洛抱起她，把她背到背上。薇洛很惊讶，女儿在她身上横竖不安分，非要把手里的花递给库珀，嘴里还吐了个词，很像音乐。

库珀扶着栅栏，接过花，“薇洛，听见没有？这下你是不是可以承认，我当初跟你说的她朝我笑了，还对我弹奏的音乐特别有感悟？”

薇洛拥抱着女儿，眼里噙满眼泪，“没错，没错。”她说，声音颤抖。“你哭什么呀？这是实实在在的突破。我们要培养她对我吉他的兴趣。我去镇上，给她买个电子键盘。我们把它安在她的房间，教她打击，让她自己弄音乐，”他手舞足蹈，兴致勃勃，“薇洛，我没有理由不留下来。”“可问题是，”她说着，语气坚定，“我感激你为我做的一切的一切，真的。可我不能让莉莉太过粘你。你不能留在这里。”薇洛急匆匆地朝她的皮卡走去，把女儿搂在怀里，好像让库珀看到女儿会有什么害处似的。

他阴沉着脸，觉得她近来的举动莫名其妙。早上他还发短信给他哥哥，让他给自己快空空如也的银行账户转点钱。他已经是豁出去了，告诉了萨利他在哪儿。他跟萨利解释了，自己如何撞上薇洛，还说泰特死了，薇洛需要自己的帮助。

沙利文回了短信，骂他是天底下最大的白痴。薇洛娶了他们那个笨蛋邻居，已经算羞辱了他一回，库珀还要德拉蒙德三人农场的钱——去干吗？去证明跟那个废物泰特·沃克相比，自己比他更强？萨利说了，库珀是脑子进水了。而且，还拿出做兄长的姿态，命令他回家，干好自家农场上的分内之事，或许还能给自己所谓的应得的那份家产多挣上几个钱。

库珀还在生闷气呢。农场他本来就占一半的股份！自己一早来这套住、摁住这些调皮的牛，正好撒撒气，这活也对他的脾气。此刻，库珀对萨利怒不可遏，对薇洛也似乎没了仁慈之心，他要一鼓作气，把今天的活干完。

库珀估摸，他和萨利的事，别无选择，只好浪费一天，回到德拉蒙德三人农场，跟他面对面，决一雌雄。萨利可以给他点钱，就算借给他，将来折算成工时，要不然，也可以拿库珀的股份作抵偿。如果萨利把事做到那个份上，将来有他的好果子吃。

库珀又套了五头犟牛，给他们打了疫苗。他汗流如注，呼吸吃力。他把力气用来干活消了他点怒气。终于，他可以平心静气地看待自己目前的处境，想想浪费几天时间开车回趟家到底有什么意思。要是皮卡车里来的是买主，薇洛就可以签约远走高飞了。

之后他恐怕再也别想找到她了，比方说，她要是去了大城市。她说过的，那里会给莉莉贝尔更好的治疗。特别是，要是她想消失，要是她不想让他找到她。

库珀说不好为什么这个想法让他那么纠结，可他偏偏就是放不下这个想法。

干这种不动脑筋的活，麻烦的就是，不管多费体力，大脑总是会胡思乱想。

库珀催着自己赶紧给这剩下的三十几头牛打疫苗。他算是慢慢看明白了，他是真想薇洛再回到自己的生活。而莉莉，多可爱的孩子，随他妈妈命名的，简直就是对他额外的奖赏。

库珀又用了一个小时，琢磨自己刚才的想法。他喝干了水瓶里的水，停了下来，要一下子把薇洛改口叫爱人还真别扭，在感情上他还有未解开的节。但是……

一头牛在荆棘灌木里横三竖四地穿行，库珀绳子扔得急了点，没套住。一根枝条弹回来，在他腰间留下一条疤痕，流了几滴血。这反倒让他集中精力干活了。

他把剩下的东西收捡好，注意到已是日落西山。他决定这会儿正好直接到薇洛那里去，把事情都挑明得了。

薇洛换上了刷油漆的衣服，到正午，她已经漆完了正面的大部分。她还以为库珀会丢下手头的活，开车过来，准备走人，可他没有。她要是走到房子的边缘，大部分时间她都能看到他。他看起帅呆了，太帅了，她的心都静不下来了。

这让她来气。她大概五点钟就把涂料收拾好了，开始做饭。天晚了，她想库珀走之前要吃点东西。自己太累了，薇洛觉得没力气再面对库珀。她闭上眼睛，感到自己打发他走的决心在动摇。

所以，她一边做饭，隔上几分钟又走到窗边去望望他。她知道，他来之前要梳洗一番。她决定给他端一盘饭菜出去。

天色越来越晚了。天上起了云层，黑压压的。黄昏给万物罩上了朦朦胧胧的桃灰色。要不是库珀的皮卡和马拖车就在那儿，薇洛还以为他不来道别就走了。

想到这里，她的心有一丝隐痛。你还想要什么呢？她已经下了逐客令……不都——第五次、第六次下逐客令了吗？她觉得自己太瞻前顾后。她行事就那么优柔寡断吗？

她早早给莉莉喂过饭。她自己的胃没那么强，吃不下给库珀做的肉面包。她发现自己做了他最喜欢吃的装在盘子里，用箔纸盖好。她先把做饭用具洗涮好，稳稳自己的神经，再冲到窗口瞧一眼。她等着，时而轰隆隆的雷声加剧了她的不安。她等着，等着任何迹象——他来农场吃最后一餐的迹象。或者……这一周来他都在屋子里吃。今晚他要走了怎么办？那就麻烦了。但他走人是板上钉钉的事了，一定是。

薇洛怀着沉重的心情，和她内心的声音在争辩着，那声音总在问自己干吗要赶跑他，“因为这样做是正确的，”她大声答道，“现在这样对谁都没好处。”

莉莉抬头望着，淡褐色的眼睛满是好奇，或者这是薇洛的感觉。莉莉被库珀迷住了，她对他的关注欣喜若狂，薇洛也一样。可这恰是悲哀之所在。此刻她们对库珀来说就像一项新的工程。他总归会厌烦她俩，库珀·德拉蒙德就像个不生青苔的滚石，为了竞技赛，弃她而去。现在他离开了竞技赛，可又不愿意在德拉蒙德三人农场好好干。不管他下一个目标是什么，他准会丢下这个烂摊子。她不能让女儿那颗弱小的心灵受他那番折腾。

Chapter Nine

In another hour the sky had gone black to the south. The air was heavy and smelled like impending rain. Willow went out to store her paint supplies in the shed, where they'd be safe from high winds. If a bad storm blew in, the trim would have to wait. Summer storms generally passed through quickly.

Shading her eyes, she scanned the hills for some glimpse of Cooper. She heard the bawling of steers, so she assumed he was rushing to finish. Assuming he'd be late, she turned down the oven heat to keep the plates warm. She hoped he'd show up to eat soon and then leave—just to end her anxiety.

She bathed Lily and dressed her for bed. The little girl trekked back and forth to the screen door a dozen or more times in her pajamas. It was plain to Willow that her daughter was missing Coop. She'd gotten used to coloring with him and listening to him play his guitar every evening. Both of these things spelled progress for a child who had been so withdrawn. Coop had called it a breakthrough, and maybe it truly was. Anything that brought Lily out of her world, even for a brief period, was a good sign. Coop had helped Lily overcome previous deficiencies in fine motor skills and coordination. She did less toe walking now; not walking with the whole of her foot was another symptom of autism. Some kids flapped their hands or banged their heads. Lily had done all of them. Before these evenings with Cooper, though, nothing except a loud noise could stop Lily from rocking with her rabbit. Lately, she'd been scooting close to hear Cooper's music as if she derived pleasure from it, and that was noteworthy.

All the same, Willow couldn't help worrying. Her main fear was that when Coop left—and it'd always been a matter of when, not if—Lily would backslide. The visiting nurse and the book on autism both stressed the value of consistency in an autistic child's environment. It stood to reason that it would be better for her if he left now, before she grew too dependent on him.

It had grown late, and Willow insisted that Lily, who was clearly tired because she rubbed her eyes so often, stop waiting by the door for Coop. Lily fussed, unwilling to go to bed.

Willow brought the radio into her room. They couldn't get many stations at night, but she spun the dial until she picked up a Tejano station from across the border, one with mariachi music and little talking. It seemed to satisfy Lily enough to allow Willow to read two children's books. Worn books she'd bought long ago at the grocery store, although Tate thought books were frivolous, unimportant. Willow forced her mind off Tate. It did no good to remember. In fact, it made her wonder if, as Coop had intimated, she'd been cowardly not to leave Tate when Lily was first diagnosed. And it was true that by then Tate had destroyed any feelings she'd ever held for him. She'd made so many mistakes when it came to Tate. Her biggest had been to marry him, thinking she'd grow to love him. She'd done them both a disservice. But when they were kids, Tate had been fun. He used to slip funny cards and small gifts into her book bag. During high school he walked her home when Coop wasn't around. In college she was involved with Coop, but Tate was always around in the background. After Coop went off to rodeo, Tate had consoled her, and he was particularly kind to her and her mother at the time of her dad's death. She'd mistaken his attention for love, she realized with a sigh, bending to kiss Lily's forehead before starting another story.

Midway through The Tale of Peter Rabbit, Lily fell asleep. Willow set the book aside, turned down the radio and shut off the light. A princess night-light her mother had sent for Lilybelle's first birthday glowed rosily along the baseboard. It was a shame her mother came up with one excuse or another not to visit. Although it took a while, Willow eventually figured out that her mother preferred to be a grandmother from afar. Willow walked out of Lily's room, leaving the door ajar.

Should she put Coop's plate on the porch, store the remaining meat loaf and go to bed? Willow couldn't resist going to the window for one last check to see if Coop had gone while she was reading to Lily. The Dodge Ram hadn't moved, nor had he attached the horse trailer yet. Relief ricocheted through her, even though it probably just meant that he was too tired to hit the road tonight. With luck she'd catch a final glimpse of him in the morning, although watching him drive off would hurt.

As she removed his still-warm plate from the oven, she heard heavy boot treads on the front porch. Willow froze. Her stomach churned, then her heart leaped at his sharp rap on the front door.

Unsure what to do, she set the plate on the counter. The knocking grew insistent, forcing her to hurry. The old living-room wall clock ticked loudly, although her heartbeat seemed, to her own ears, even louder. "I'm coming," she called, keeping her voice down. "Stop pounding, or you'll wake Lily," she admonished as she flipped on the porch light and opened the door.

She held her breath as Coop braced a hand on the casing. He must have bathed in the pond, she decided, since his hair was damp and spiky. He wore different clothes than he'd had on when she confronted him earlier. A whiff of soap wafted through the screen, tickling Willow's nose. The picture he presented including his crooked smile, evoked an image of Coop naked in her pond. Her stomach tensed as Willow harked back to happier days when they could hardly keep their hands off each other. Days when Coop knew and loved every inch of her body. Steeling herself against those memories and the longings they brought, Willow gripped the door tightly, reminding herself that she couldn't afford to think only about her needs and desires.

"It's late, Cooper. Lily's in bed asleep," she said in a hushed voice. "If you've come to say goodbye, there's no need. I thought we handled that earlier. If you want a meal, I'll bring it out."

Coop jerked open the screen and stuck the toe of his boot firmly in the crack to prevent Willow from slamming the door in his face. "I had all afternoon to think about your carefully prepared orders giving me my walking papers, Willow. There was a time I was sure we'd always be together, you and I. All those days and nights we talked about our future, it never crossed my mind that I'd ever lose you."

"Coop." Willow sagged against the door, pressing it hard against his foot. "We both made choices that took us in different directions. What's done is done. We can't go back."

"Are you telling me you never think about the plans we made together?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Those plans never included you running off to rodeo. The first time you said a word to me about it was two weeks before your college graduation. That was a deal-breaker for me, Coop, and I never hid my feelings."

"I know, but my going off to rodeo had nothing to do with you—with us. I did it to piss off Sullivan as much as anything. That sounds immature... but my brother still thought he could manage my life. Going on the circuit gave me breathing room. And you were planning to attend summer school. I figured you'd have your degree and be waiting by the time I came back. I didn't intend to stay on the circuit so long."

"You never asked me to wait! You sold your horses and took off for Mesquite. Sullivan's the one who told me where you'd gone when I called you at the Triple D to let you know my dad started having seizures, and Mom asked me to drop out of college to stay with him."

"When was that? Sully never said a word about you calling me."

"Yes, well, he seemed to think I'd given you an ultimatum—marry me or go rodeo. I felt you didn't care what I thought, Coop, and you certainly never asked me to wait."

"Would you have waited if I had asked?"

Willow lifted her eyes and met his dark, steady gaze. Thunder rolled overhead. "Honestly? I'm not sure. I loved you, Coop, but it ripped my heart out to know you could be injured like my dad. I tried telling Sully that later, when he accused me of not loving you enough to keep you from going off. He all but called me selfish. In hindsight, maybe I was. Your leaving practically destroyed my world."

"What do you think happened to mine the day I heard you'd married Tate?"

She shook her head. "I hadn't heard from you once after you left. You didn't even call when my dad died."

"I was at the finals. But I sent flowers. By then I'd heard you were seeing Tate, and that made me crazy."

"We weren't exactly seeing each other. He turned up everywhere I went." She released the door and gestured with one hand. "What's the point of rehashing all of that now? You slept your way through a dozen rodeo groupies before I married Tate. Don't deny it—your exploits made the covers of rodeo trade magazines."

Coop clenched the hand still braced on the door. "None of the women I hooked up with for a night meant anything to me, Willow. I never knew why until it hit me today. I measured all those women against you. You're who I dreamed about, Willow."

"You also dreamed of becoming a rodeo champ. God, Coop, how many times did you watch me feed Dad, who was paralyzed from the neck down? I knew only too well where rodeo dreams led."

"You're wrong. I never dreamed of being a champion bronc rider. It's like I just told you. I thought you and I were solid, and I had to get away because Sully tried to take Dad's place and he wasn't Dad." He paused. "I'm sorry, but I assumed you understood that." Coop straightened and spread his hands, forcing Willow's gaze to travel the length of his long, lean body. She glanced away, but the pressure she applied to the door eased, and Coop pushed his way into the house with little resistance.

"I promise you I'm done with rodeo now. I have a suitcase filled with championship buckles, but they make cold bedmates."

"Is that what's on your mind tonight? Getting into my bed? I've grown up, Cooper. I'm no longer starry-eyed. Life's taught me some valuable lessons when it comes to priorities. You left Hondo five years ago, just walked away. I don't know what you expect now, Coop. And don't look at me like that." The intensity in his eyes made her knees go weak, but Willow raised her chin, standing her ground.

He touched her chin, running his thumb over the slight cleft. "I let you go once. I'm not inclined to walk away again. You say you want me to leave, but your eyes tell a different story. We have a lot of history, Willow. Most of it was good."

"Some of it wasn't," she said, jerking her chin away from his hypnotizing touch.

"I can't undo what I did in my youth."

"Would you change it if you could? If we could go back, Cooper, would you not go off to ride bucking horses?"

"I can't say that. Even if I'd stayed at the Triple D back then, my life would have revolved around raising horses, and green horses buck. If you want to know if I have regrets about how I handled myself with you and Sullivan, that answer is yes. I shouldn't have left you without doing a better job of explaining my reasons. And I regret blowing my winnings when I could've saved so I'd have some money to show for those years. But maybe things happen for a reason. If I'd had cash to, say, invest in breeding stock, I wouldn't have ended up here asking you for a second chance. Will you give me one, Willow?" He stepped closer, holding her gaze as thunder rumbled overhead and the first raindrops blew in the door.

Cooper had never lacked charisma, Willow thought. He drew her. His energy.His heat. The security he offered. Long-term security was something Willow hadn't let herself want for a long time. But while she analyzed Coop's motives, he closed the gap between them, kicked shut the door and took her in his arms.

He mumbled words that sounded like I love you. She couldn't be sure if he'd said it or if she'd imagined he had. Either way, the past suddenly seemed to melt away. There was only the here and now. And it wasn't so difficult to believe he'd spoken the words. Coop had always said he'd loved her; deep down she'd always loved him. She set her hands on either side of his neck where his pulse beat fast. "You never left my heart," she murmured, pressing lightly against him. "You're still there."

HER TOUCH WAS WARM and honest, but Coop didn't want to move too quickly. He wanted to be sure she was giving him the green light. This was happening fast even though the time and distance that had once separated them seemed to disappear. In the muted lamp-light spilling into the living room from the kitchen it was as if Willow hadn't changed. The look of her, the feel of her soft skin under his fingertips as he stroked her neck, sent Coop reeling back in time.

His mouth covered hers. First, like a whisper, then demanding—and receiving—a response. Coop's thumbs skimmed her cheeks with restless abandon, as his hands tilted up her face.

Willow wanted him with a never-forgotten hunger. It felt right, natural, to pick up where they'd left off five years ago. In a rush of hot kisses and hastily discarded clothing, they tumbled together on her living-room carpet.

Willow shivered when he kissed his way up her neck and coaxed a response from her lips. She loved kissing Coop. She always had. To finally have him where she could touch him and be touched by him made her a prisoner of her own desire.

When it was over, Willow rested her head on Coop's broad shoulder. "This time was more than cataclysmic," she murmured. "I feel like the whole house just shook."

Cooper traced the narrow bridge of her nose. "It did, sweetheart. That's serious thunder. The storm just broke." As he spoke, lightning flashed outside and lit the room through the uncurtained front window.

Willow sat up and reached for her shirt and shorts. "That was close. The last storm scattered my herd. They smashed down the fence in about five places. It took a week to find them all." She'd turned her back to him, but had her clothes on by the time Coop sat up and reached for his pants.

"I'm pretty sure the fence will hold this time, Willow. My guess is they'll take shelter under the trees. It's where most of them went during the branding." He was much less self-conscious about dressing in front of her. He didn't put on his boots or shirt, but smiled and took her in his arms for another kiss. "I love the energy that comes with a storm, especially the first storm to hit after a drought. Let's go sit on the porch and watch Mother Nature's handiwork, shall we?"

"I'd like that," she said shyly. "You go on out. I want to check on Lily."

"Is she likely to wake up and be scared by the thunder?" he asked as another long, loud roll rattled the windows in the house. "If so, we can stay here, or go sit by her bed." He trailed a hand down Willow's arm and linked their fingers.

That small act of thoughtfulness released a gush of warmth inside her. Any sign of caring had been missing for all of her marriage. It endeared Coop to her as nothing else could. Rising on tiptoes, Willow kissed him. "Thank you for your concern, Cooper. Lily generally sleeps like a log. But I always check on her several times a night. She sleeps. I'm the insomniac."

"Hmm." Coop helped himself to several more kisses before he drew back, patted her backside and let her go. "I can think of several ways to spend a wakeful night," he said. "Or we can work on finding new ways," he promised with a wink. "After the storm passes."

She shooed him toward the door.

As soon as she emerged from the house they cuddled together on the porch and watched the fury of the rain, thunder and lightning.

Willow felt safe cradled in Coop's arms. She told him that and added, "I didn't realize how off-kilter I've felt the past several years. I slept with one eye open, worrying about Tate's erratic moods. After his death I worried about danger from other people. I slept poorly any time I had hired cowboys on the property. I had to discourage a couple of them with one of Tate's old shotguns. It only dawned on me, Coop, how much better I've slept since you showed up."

"And yet you were ready to toss me off the ranch."

She released a heavy sigh. "Because I know you can't stay, Coop. You haven't resolved anything with your brother. And there's still the Triple D. It's partly yours."

The arm around her tightened. "Yes, but you're going to sell your herd and your ranch. Then you'll be free to go north. Any news from your Realtor, by the way? Has he received any inquiries since the day we saw someone giving the place a once-over?"

"I left him a message—I haven't heard back. But then I've been outside painting, and maybe missed a call. I don't have an answering machine."

Coop traced her lips with one finger. "If you don't hear by the time the trim's finished and I get the herd to market, we'll drive into town and make sure he's actively working for you. Hey, this storm's petering out. What do you say we go back inside and take up on the couch where we left off on the floor?"

"Coop," she said, head bent. "You are way more open about sex than I am."

He crooked a forefinger and raised her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Know this, Willow. It's always been about more than just sex between us."

She nodded shyly.

Coop carried her back inside, where they gave the lumpy old couch a workout until they fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Willow's internal clock woke her at her usual time—five o'clock. The day was dawning hot and humid again, but she stole an extra five minutes to remain snuggled up against the man she loved. The man who'd shown her in so many ways throughout the night that he loved her, too, as they whispered sweet things to each other. She didn't think Coop had said he loved her in so many words, but maybe he had....

She felt herself smiling. He looked totally relaxed in sleep. She imprinted every naked line of his lean, muscular body on her mind before she bent and tickled him, then kissed him awake. "Time to get up, sleepyhead," she whispered when his eyes opened and he grabbed her. "Lily's an early riser. We can't risk having her pop out and finding us together like this. After we get dressed I'll make you a ham, cheese and mushroom omelet."

"I'm thinking about taking your mind off food...."

She climbed over him and off the narrow couch, and dressed quickly in the clothes that lay wadded on the floor. "I'm a sensible mother and rancher, yet I can't believe how tempted I am by your suggestion, Cooper Drummond. And aren't you ashamed of yourself for leading me astray?" She gathered up his jeans and shirt and tossed them at him.

He jackknifed up, his brown eyes laughing, his dark hair rumpled. "Not on your life, sweetheart. Not on your life."

第九章

过了一个小时，南边的天黑下来。空气凝重，闻起来有一种山雨欲来的味。薇洛走出门，把油漆料存放到牲口棚。搁那儿，吹狂风也安全。要是暴风雨来了，墙的饰边就得等等了。好在夏季的暴雨来得快走得疾。

她把手搭在眼睛上面，环顾四周山丘，看库珀在哪儿。她听见了公牛在叫，她猜测，他应该在赶着把活干完。估计他会晚点回来，于是她调低了烤箱的火力，保温就可以了。她希望他快点回来，赶紧吃了走人——免得她担惊受怕。

她给莉莉洗了澡，穿衣让她睡了。小女孩穿着睡衣，来来回回去了纱门那里十多趟。薇洛看得出来，女儿是在想念库珀。她习惯了每天晚上跟他涂彩色画，听他弹吉他。能做这两件事，对一个那么孤僻的小孩已经是进步了。库珀称之为突破，也许真还说着了。只要是能把莉莉领出她自我封闭的世界，不论时间多短暂，都是好的迹象。库珀已经帮助莉莉矫正了以前缺乏的一些细微的运动技能和协调能力。她不再老用脚尖走路了，不用整个脚掌走路也是自闭症的症状之一。有的孩子拍手，还有的撞自己的头。莉莉都有过。在跟库珀玩之前，只有大叫一声才能止住她跟着兔子一起摇晃。近来，她靠近库珀听音乐，似乎乐在其中，而这是值得注意的进步。

不过，薇洛还是要担心。她主要是担心库珀一走——走不过是个时间问题，而不是走不走的问题——莉莉就会退步。访视的护士和有关自闭症的书籍都强调，对自闭症孩子来说，生活环境的稳定很重要。他要走就现在走为好，这也还合情合理，免得等到莉莉太过依赖他了再走，就麻烦了。

天很晚了，莉莉肯定困了，因为她老揉眼睛，薇洛要她别站在门口等库珀了。莉莉又哭又闹，不愿意睡觉。

薇洛把收音机拿到她房间。夜里电台少，她调了一圈台，调到了跨境的特哈诺音乐台，里面播放的大多是墨西哥流浪乐队的音乐，谈话节目很少。薇洛给她读了两本儿童故事书，莉莉已很满足了。这是她很久以前在杂货店买的，很破旧了，虽然泰特认为书是细枝末节、无关大局的事。薇洛强迫自己别去想泰特的事了。记起他对自己没什么益处。事实上，正像库珀说的，这反而让她怀疑，在莉莉第一次确诊后没离开泰特是不是自己太懦弱了。说真的，那时候，泰特已经毁了她曾经对他的所有情感。在泰特身上，她犯下了太多的错误。最大的错误就是嫁给了他。她以为自己会慢慢爱上他，结果害己又害人。但他们两小无猜时，泰特很可爱，总给她书包里塞些有趣的卡片、小礼物。在高中，库珀不在时，他总是送她回家。读大学时她和库珀恋爱，可泰特总在周围。库珀去竞技赛之后，泰特安慰她，尤其她父亲过世时，他对她和她妈妈是关心备至。她误把关心当作了爱情。她现在明白了，叹了口气，弯腰吻了吻莉莉的前额，接着开始读下一个故事。《彼得兔的故事》才读到一半，莉莉就睡着了。薇洛把书放一边，调小收音机的音量，关掉灯。公主夜明灯——妈妈送给莉莉的一岁生日礼物——发出柔和的光，照在脚板上。她妈妈从没来看过莉莉，总有一个又一个的理由，她真不该这样。当初她还不明白，后来想清楚了，她妈妈是宁愿离得远远地做个外婆。薇洛走出莉莉的房间，让房门虚掩着。

她要不要把库珀的盘子放在门廊上，放好剩下的肉糕，再上床睡觉去呢？薇洛给莉莉读着书时，还是克制不了自己，最后一次走到窗前，看看库珀走了没有。道奇皮卡一动未动，拖车也没有挂上。她浑身上下轻松了些，哪怕这也许只是说明他太累了，今晚没精力上路了。运气好的话，早上还可以看上他最后一眼，虽说这让她伤心。

他的盘子还温热，她把它从烤箱里取出来。她听见了前面门廊上有沉重的脚步声。薇洛僵住了。她的胃翻腾着。听见前门刺耳的敲门声，她的心猛跳了起来。

她一时不知所措，把碟子放在台面上。敲门声一声紧跟一声，逼得她加快脚步。客厅墙上的老钟嘀嗒得更响了，可她听见自己的心跳比钟的嘀嗒声还响，“来了，来了，”她叫道，尽量压低自己的声音，“别敲了，要不把莉莉给吵醒了。”她责备道，一边啪的一声打开门廊灯，开了门。

库珀一只手撑在箱子上，她屏住呼吸。她想，他准是在水塘洗过澡了，因为他的头发湿漉漉的，一根根朝上竖着。他穿的衣服与她早先见到的也不一样了。一股香皂味从纱门飘了进来，弄得薇洛的鼻子痒痒的。他的这幅画面，包括他的嬉皮笑脸，让她想象他在池塘一丝不挂的样子。他俩从前在一块时，搂搂抱抱，多开心。想起这些，她的心里就紧张。那时，库珀和她相知相爱，爱她的一切，爱她的身体的每一个部位。面对这些回忆，以及伴随而来的憧憬，薇洛强打起精神，牢牢地抓住门，她不能只顾自己，只考虑她的需求和欲望。“库珀，夜很深了。莉莉睡着了，”她说道，嗓音低低的，“你要是来道别，就不必了。我觉得我们早就道过别了。你要吃饭，我就给你端出来。”

库珀猛地推开纱门，脚尖牢牢地伸进开着的缝隙。这样，薇洛就无法当着他的面砰地关上门了，“薇洛，我一个下午都在想你精心准备的那些解聘的理由。我曾经信心满满，相信我俩，你和我，会永远在一起。那些日子，白天黑夜，我们都在谈论未来。我压根就没想到，我会失去你。”“库珀。”薇洛瘫软了，身子靠着门，死死地抵住他的脚，“我们两个人各自做出了选择，这让我们距离对方越来越远。过去的就过去了。我们回不去了。”“你是在告诉我，你从没想过我们一起做过的规划？”

她哽咽了，“那些规划从不包括你去竞技赛。在你大学毕业前两周，你才跟我提到。这对我来说，确实受不了，库珀，我从不隐瞒我的感情。”“明白，但我去竞技赛跟你——跟我们没什么关系。我去竞技赛就是要跟沙利文斗气，只要痛快就好。这听起来蛮幼稚……但我哥哥还认为，他能掌控我的生活。参加竞技赛让我有了呼吸的空间。你当时正也计划上暑假学习班。我估计你会拿到学位，再等我回来。我没打算在竞技赛呆这么久。”“你哪儿有要我等你！你卖了马，直接去了梅斯基特。还是我去德拉蒙德三人农场找你的时候，沙利文跟我说的你去那儿了，我是去告诉你我爸开始痉挛了，我妈妈叫我退学照顾他。”“什么时候的事？萨利从未说起你来找过我。”“是，可他好像以为，我已经给了你最后通牒——要么娶我，要么竞技赛。库珀，我感觉你不在乎我的感受，你从没要我等你。”“如果我真的叫你等了，你会等吗？”

薇洛抬起眼睛，与他阴郁而专注的眼神相对。头顶上雷神轰隆隆地响着，“要我说真话？我说不准。我那时爱你，库珀，可当我知道你有可能像我爸一样受伤，我的心都碎了。我后来告诉了萨利我的担心，他指责我，说我爱你不够深，没拦住你去参加竞技赛。他一个劲儿地骂我自私。现在想起来，也许我是有点自私。你去竞技赛几乎毁灭了我的世界。”“你怎么不想，我知道你嫁给了泰特的那天，我的世界怎样了？”

她摇着头，“你走后我就没有你的消息。我父亲过世了，你都没打个电话。”“我正在参加决赛。但我送了花。那时我就听说你在和泰特见面，我简直要疯了。”“其实我们不是真正在约会，而是我在哪儿，他就跟到哪儿。”她松了门，挥下手，“现在还重提这档子事，有用吗？在我嫁给泰特前，你就跟好多追星族上床睡过了吧？别赖账啊——你的赫赫战功可都在竞技赛商业杂志的封面上。”

库珀握紧的拳头还撑在门上，“那些女人，跟她们不过是一夜情，对我来说没别的意思。我一直不明就里，今天我算弄明白了。我总把那些女人和你作比较，你才是我梦想的女人，薇洛。”“你也梦想过当竞技赛冠军。天哪，库珀，你不是多次见过我给我爸喂饭嘛，他脖子以下都瘫痪了。我太了解竞技赛梦想的不归之路了。”“你错了。我从未梦想过当一名野马骑手竞技赛冠军。我刚不跟你说了嘛，我想我俩的关系坚如磐石。我非走不可，是因为萨利想取代我老爸的位置，可他不是我爸。”他顿了顿，“很抱歉，我还以为你明白。”库珀站直了腰身，伸开双手，薇洛凝视的目光只好扫视一遍他修长结实的身体。薇洛移开目光，但她推门的手松开了，库珀轻轻开门进了屋子。“我向你保证我和竞技赛一刀两断了。我有一个箱子，里面装满了冠军扣，可总不能搂着它们睡觉吧。”“今晚你是不是就在打这主意？爬上我的床？库珀，我不再是天真的女孩了。先做什么，后做什么，生活给了我很多有益的教训。五年前你离开了洪多，屁股一拍就走了。我不知道你现在想做什么，库柏。别这样看着我。”他眼里流露的情感让她双膝酥软，但薇洛抬起了下巴，稳稳站着。

他抚摸她的下巴，大拇指摸着细微的凹纹，“我失去了你一次，我不会再一走了之了。你总说要我走，可你的眼睛却要我留下。薇洛，我俩有太多的故事，而且大多是美妙的故事。”“可有的并不那么美妙。”她说道，猛地摆脱他那令人心醉神迷的抚摸。“我年轻时做的事，已经收不回来了。”“假如说有可能，你愿意改变吗？如果我们能回到从前，库珀，你会不去竞技赛吗？”“我说不好。即使我留在了德拉蒙德三人农场，我的生活也不过就是养马赚钱。你要是问我，在处理跟你和跟沙利文的事上有没有遗憾，我的答案是有。我不该没跟你好好解释就走了。我也后悔没把赢的钱存起来随手就花光了，不然我这些年钱包应该是鼓鼓囊囊的。也许是天缘凑巧吧。我要是手头有钱，投资饲养牲口，我哪儿会站在这儿，求你再给我次机会。薇洛，你愿意再给我次机会吗？”头顶的雷轰隆隆的，雨点飘进了门窗。他走近几步，两人目光相聚。

库珀风流倜傥，不乏魅力，薇洛心想。他吸引着她。他充满活力，他激情四射，他能给她安全感。长期的安全感是薇洛很久不敢奢望的事了。她还在分析他的动机，库珀就已经抱住她，一脚把门关上，把她搂在了怀里。

库珀嘟囔着，仿佛说了句我爱你。她吃不准他说了还是没说，或许是她自己的想象。不管怎么样，过去的一切瞬间释怀，她心中只有此时此刻此地。她不难相信他说了这话。库珀从来说的就是他爱她；在她的内心，她也爱他。她两只手放在他脖子上，能感觉到他的脉搏在加快。“你一直在我心里，”她喃喃道，紧紧地抱着他，“现在也在这儿。”

她的抚摸温暖真诚，但库珀不想进展太快。他要确切地知道她给他亮了绿灯。昔日将他俩隔绝的时间、空间似乎眨眼间烟消云散，这一切发生得太快。厨房里的台灯默默无语，将光线洒落到客厅。在灯光下，薇洛仿佛容颜依旧。他抚摸着她的脖子，她的神情、她柔滑肌肤的感觉，让他沉醉，好像回到了从前。

他吻着她。初若低声细语，其后一来二往，相互热吻。库珀的手抚摸着她的脸颊，显得手忙脚乱，而又恣意放纵，还一边托起她的脸。

薇洛需要他，如饥如渴地需要他。五年前的东西失而复得，让人感觉那么正常、自然而然。两人一阵热吻后，心急火燎地脱下衣服，在客厅的地毯上抱到了一块。

库珀吻到了她的脖子，吻到她的嘴唇，薇洛微微发抖亲了回去，她爱和库珀接吻，一直都爱。为了能抚摸他，也被他抚摸，结果成了自己欲望的俘虏。

完事后，薇洛把头枕在他宽阔的胸膛上。“这次更具灾难性，”她喃喃道，“我感觉整个房子都在摇晃。”

库珀摸着她窄窄的鼻梁，“房子真的在摇晃，亲爱的。雷声隆隆作响。暴风雨刚刚开始。”在他说话的当口，屋外闪电划过夜空，前窗没挂窗帘，照得屋子亮晃晃的。

薇洛坐起来，伸手拿了衬衣和短裤，“真险。上次暴风雨吓跑了我的牛群。它们冲垮了栅栏大约有五处之多。我费了一周才找回他们。”她转过脸去，等库珀坐起来时，她衣服已经穿好了。“薇洛，这次我有把握，栅栏破不了。我猜，它们会在林子里躲雨。烙印时，他们大多去那里了。”他当着她的面穿衣服，没觉得难为情，还朝她笑，一把搂过她又吻起来，“我爱暴风骤雨那股猛劲，特别是久旱后的第一场暴风雨。我们坐到门廊上去，欣赏大自然的杰作，好吗？”“这个我喜欢，”她羞怯地说，“你去，我先去看看莉莉。”“她会醒吗，会给雷吓着吗？”他问道。又一个长长的隆隆雷声震得窗户嘎嘎响。“这样的话，我们可以坐这儿，也可以坐她床边。”他抚摸着她的手臂，拉着她的手。

体贴，哪怕微乎其微，已经让薇洛的内心暖意融融。她的整个婚姻就缺失关爱。薇洛觉得，这让库珀显得比别的都更加亲切。薇洛踮着脚尖，吻了他，“谢谢你的关心，库珀。莉莉睡觉很沉。我每晚还是要查看她几次。她都睡得好好的，我却失眠。”“嗯。”库珀又吻了她几下，拍拍她的背，让她走了，“我可以想出几种法子，打发不眠之夜，”他说，“要不我们还可以想些新方法，”他眨巴了一下眼睛说，“等暴雨过去了。”

她赶着他到门边去。

她一从房间出来，两人就依偎在门廊上，看着暴雨雷电的狂暴肆虐。

在库珀怀里，薇洛感觉安全。她把这告诉他了，还补充道，“我真不知道这几年自己是怎么过来的。我睡觉都得睁只眼，担心泰特喜怒无常的怪脾气。他人走了，我还得担心来自旁人的危险。每次农场雇佣了牛仔，我都睡不好。我还拿泰特的老散弹猎枪吓唬过他们。库珀，我慢慢才明白，你来之后，我睡得安稳多了。”“可你已经准备把我从你的农场扔出去了。”

她长叹一声，“因为我知道你呆不住，库珀。你和你哥之间的事还没完。还有德拉蒙德三人农场，那也是你的财产。”

他用力搂了她一下，“是呀，可你要卖掉你的牲口和农场就自由了，可以到北边去。顺便问下，你的经纪人有消息吗？那天我们还看见有人来过一趟，他那里有没人咨询过？”“我给他留了话——还没收到回音。之后我就在屋外油漆，也许错过了电话，我没用留言电话。”

库珀用手指摸着薇洛的嘴唇，“等你把饰边油漆完了，我把牲口弄到市场了，到那时如果你还没收到消息，我们就到镇上去，弄弄明白他有没有兢兢业业地为你办事。嘿，暴雨小了，我们进屋，到沙发上睡去，你说呢？”“库珀，”她道，低着头，“对待性的态度，你还是比我开放。”

他弯着食指，托起她的下巴，看着她的眼睛，“你要知道，薇洛，你我之间永远不只是一个性字那么简单。”

她羞答答地点了点头。

库珀把她拉进屋，两人在高低不平的老沙发上相互搂着，入睡了。

薇洛的生物钟准时在五点把她叫醒了。天刚破晓，又热又闷，她依偎在她爱的男人怀里又多躺了五分钟。这一夜他们相互说了多少甜言蜜语，这个男人变着法地向她表明，他有多爱她。她觉得库珀不可能那么啰啰唆唆地说爱她，但是也许他真的说了……

她情不自禁地笑了。睡着的他有多放松。他的身体结实而有肌肉，她要记住他裸露在外的每根线条，然后弯腰挠他的痒，吻醒他。“起床了。懒虫，”她低声道。他睁开眼，抓住她。“莉莉起得早。我们不能冒险，让她突然冒出来看见咱俩躺在这儿。等穿好衣服，我去给你做火腿奶酪蘑菇煎蛋卷。”“我想的是，让你别想吃什么的事儿，而是……”

她从他身上翻过来，下了窄窄的沙发上，拿起地上皱巴巴的衣服，赶紧穿好。“我本是个脑子清醒的妈妈和农场主，可我不敢相信，库珀·德拉蒙德，你的话对我有多诱惑。勾引良家妇女，你难道不害臊吗？”她捡起他的牛仔裤、衬衫，朝他扔过去。

他弯着身子，棕色眼睛笑眯眯的，黑色的头发蓬松凌乱，“亲爱的，我一点也不害臊。一点也不。”

Chapter Ten

In the kitchen, after they'd each taken a turn freshening up in Willow's small bathroom, Coop made his coffee and put water on for Willow's tea while she assembled the ingredients for their omelet.

Reaching over her to take down plates, he rubbed his chin on top of her damp hair. "We're pretty good at this. Anybody might think we're an old married couple."

She ducked away and pulled out the chopping board with shaky hands. "Have you ever thought about getting married, Cooper? I mean, have you ever come close?"

He paused in the act of setting the table. "Not after you dumped me."

"Hold on. Who dumped whom?"

"Okay. After we split. I never found any woman I cared to invite to the next rodeo."

"Oh, really?" she scoffed.

"I swear. The women who competed in rodeo events were just buddies. The hard-core followers, you know, like the ones you saw in the restaurant, are superficial."

"They looked beautiful."

"Yeah, well, I'll give them points on that score. A few may have been on the prowl for husbands. The rest were just on the prowl. Out for a good time. They flocked around winners."

"I noticed," she murmured, beating the eggs. "Of course, you were a champion most of the years you competed."

"Five years. I called it quits at the beginning of last season and started earning an honest living," he joked, tweaking the end of her ponytail. He was saved from having to defend his wild bachelor days by the sudden appearance of a sleepy-eyed Lily. She wandered into the kitchen, rubbing an eye with one fist, dragging her rabbit by an ear with the other.

"Hey, there, babycakes," Coop said, dropping down on one knee to put himself at her level.

She quit rubbing her eye and blinked solemnly at him.

"What does she eat for breakfast?" Coop asked Willow. "Most kids don't like omelets. Not the stuff in them like mushrooms and onion, anyway."

"Right on all counts. She'll eat a biscuit with jelly, no butter, and bacon. But the bacon I put in the oven to warm can't touch the edges of her biscuit."

"Why? They all mix together in your stomach."

"I don't know. That's something I've learned from observation. It's a fetish with some autistic children. Come to think of it, she's never had anyone but me prepare her meals. Why don't you watch the omelet and I'll take her into the bathroom, them I'll fix her breakfast." Willow smiled. "I'm so lucky she's potty trained."

Rising, Coop took the spatula. "Those other quirks are symptoms I'm assuming will be addressed and modified once she starts in a proper school."

Willow glanced up from cutting the biscuit in half. "Maybe. The curriculum I read about was quite comprehensive." Frowning a bit, she grew quiet. She left with Lily, then returned after a while and lifted the child into her makeshift booster seat, removed the toy rabbit and pushed her plate closer.

"Everything's ready," Coop announced, deftly cutting the omelet in half and sliding it onto two plates already holding buttered toast. He poured himself a second cup of coffee and handed Willow her tea.

"You know your way around the kitchen, Coop. I must admit that surprises me."

"I got tired of eating out so much. If I had a block of time between rodeos, I booked into residence motels—one bedroom with a kitchen and living room. Young guys on the circuit often travel with motor homes. Those camps are a hotbed of activity and some of them party day and night. Married guys usually had a home base. Unmarried older riders get tired of the hullaballoo and they went to motels."

"Oh, yeah, you're so old." Willow laughed, cutting into her omelet. "Aren't some contenders thirty-five or forty before they quit?"

"Not too many. A few diehards. Trick riders and ropers hang in longer. Maybe the guys who really have rodeo in their blood. But it takes brute strength and agility to keep riding sixteen- or seventeen-hundred pounds of bucking horse day in and day out. Casey Tibbs, the greatest bronc rider of all time, stayed with the sport eleven years. I guess I never got so addicted to the roar of the crowds that I couldn't let go. I prefer life a little quieter."

"Last night you said you like it here, Coop," Willow ventured. "You said you might want your own ranch." Idly she spun her fork in an uneaten portion of omelet. "You even said you could stay here. Did you mean it?"

"I meant it. But you're the reason why. You might not think I'd be lonely on the rodeo circuit with so much action. But I sorta like coming in after a day of hard, satisfying work out on the range, being able to sit down with you and talk. Or say nothing, for that matter."

"What about the Triple D?"

Coop pushed back his empty plate. "What about it? You're not there. And Sully's put his stamp all over it. This is a great little place that could be a lot better. I could make it better for you and the munchkin. On the other hand, Lily needs the facilities offered in a bigger town." His gaze cut to Lilybelle, who'd licked the jelly off both halves of her biscuit and was now eating her bacon. "The sun's getting high," Coop said as he rose from his chair. "It'll be a sauna out there soon. You wanted to paint the trim. And, if it's okay with you, I thought I'd start trying to break a colt that's taken up residence on your upper forty. The colt and his mother are half-wild. There's open range down in Mexico, and I figure they strayed here. Once he's broken, the colt can be gelded and will bring you a pretty penny. Enough to tide you over until you decide whether torestock your cattle, or sell and move on."

"I'd consider restocking if you stayed, Coop. Although I'd have to find a way to get Lily the services she needs." Willow sighed. "I'd never send her to boarding school." Rising, too, she collected their plates. At the sink, she ran water and rinsed them. Her back remained rigid as she waited for Coop's response.

Stepping up behind her, he turned her around and delivered a steamy kiss. "I want to be with you," he said. "A man needs a good woman." Moving toward the table again, he pressed a softer kiss on Lily's curls. "And a family," he added.

The girl hunched her little shoulders and screwed up her face, but instead of crying as Willow feared, Lily brushed a hand over her head, stared at Coop and gave a passable giggle.

Willow clutched her heart. "That's another first. A huge one."

"See?" Coop said. "I'm good for her. Maybe we can look into schooling her ourselves. With a satellite dish we could go online for help."

"Is that true? Cooper, you're good for both of us. You give me something I've had so little of—hope that Lily's life can be better."

Coop picked up his hat. "So, uh, maybe you should call your Realtor and take the ranch off the market. However, don't let me influence you. It has to be your decision, Willow."

She gnawed the inside of her mouth. Was that a commitment or not? So many worries and concerns flashed through her head. There before her stood the man she'd always loved. Big and bold. Solid and sexy. With his encouragement and assistance, perhaps they could school Lily and make her life happier. "I'll phone Marcus Realty today," she said, knowing she sounded tentative.

Coop bobbed his head and turned to leave. "Okay. Sure."

Sobering, Willow gripped the fabric of her blouse at the base of her throat and called out to Coop. "I know you read my book on autism. I know you're enthusiastic about her progress—and helped make it happen. But I have to tell you that the doctor and counselor said she'll likely never catch up with other kids her age. There's no magic potion or cure-all for autism, Cooper."

He started to say they'd do whatever they could, whatever was necessary to improve Lily's quality of life, but he was stopped by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway out front. He lifted the curtain and huffed out a jerky breath. Muttering a surprised curse, Coop dashed for the door, letting the screen slam behind him.

Slower to react, Willow crossed the kitchen to move the curtain, allowing her to peer outside. She didn't recognize the vehicle, a late-model silver SUV. It wasn't the one that had passed the ranch the other day.

Willow would have gone back to work and let Coop deal with the stranger but then he yanked open the SUV door—and out crawled a shapely woman with a lot of red hair. She wore jeans, boots and a bright yellow shirt that should have clashed with her hair, but somehow looked fashionable instead.

Willow's mouth went slack as she watched Coop, the man who'd recently left her after a night of loving, haul the redhead into an embrace that went on far too long. At least that was how it looked to Willow. A sick feeling washed over her. She let the curtain slip through trembling fingers as the old insecurities flooded her. She'd seen enough, yet couldn't resist gawking. She was well aware that Cooper Drummond collected women. The pair had parted, but Willow saw them grinning at each other. Then they walked toward Coop's pickup, his arm casually looped around the other woman's narrow waist.

Her legs gave out, and Willow dropped into the nearest kitchen chair. The one where Coop had sat to eat his breakfast. She covered her hot face and wept quietly. Once again he'd shattered her hopes and dreams. But why was she surprised? She'd witnessed for herself how he had acted with those female fans at the restaurant. She remembered how Tate used to rub it in about Coop's exploits with women along the rodeo trail. He swore the stories printed in the rodeo trade magazines were true. Of course they were. Cooper would have all the women he wanted. He was gorgeous—and available.

The minutes Coop recognized the silver SUV, he'd dreaded going out. But he didn't want to create a scene in front of Willow, either. Once outside, he was relieved to have his sister-in-law, Blythe, emerge from the vehicle; he'd been so sure it was, Sully come to confront him over his request for money.

Cooper guided Blythe away from the house, into shade provided by a stand of live oak, because there was no sense involving Willow in his money woes until he learned what had brought Blythe here. As it turned out, he didn't have to ask, she volunteered.

"You're looking good, Cooper." Then she got right to the point. "I came to bring you a check." She handed him a folded blue square she extracted from her back pocket. "Sully said the other day that you'd phoned and needed money."

"Sully sent you?"

"Not exactly."

Coop glanced at the check. It was for ten thousand dollars, twice what he'd requested from his brother. "This is drawn on your clinic account, Blythe." Coop raised an eyebrow. "I can't take money from you." He tried to hand it back.

She curled her fingers around his, urging him to pocket the check. "We're all family, Coop."

"Does Sully even know you've come to see me? Does he know you're bringing me this kind of cash?" He waved the check.

"I doubt I have to tell you how stubborn he can be sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Coop flared.

"Yes, sometimes. Mostly he's a softie." Blythe's eyes were tender as she said that. "Sully has unlimited patience with Gray. And he's a wonderful husband to me. I feel a certain amount of guilt for canceling appointments today to come and see you, Coop. But darn it, I want you two to reconcile. You're brothers. Not only that, the Triple D is too much work for Sully alone."

"He hires ranch hands. And I heard he advertised for a part-time manager."

"Because I begged him to. It's temporary. Just until Christmas. He wants you to come home for the holidays. He's counting on it, Cooper. We're all counting on it."

Coop stared at the house and at the nearby rolling hills, but he tucked the check in his shirt pocket. "Maybe there's too much water under the bridge," he mumbled.

"The Triple D is your heritage."

"It hasn't felt like it. Not since Dad died."

"That's another thing. Matt would hate to see this rift between you guys. You were the world to him, both of you, after your mom died."

"Losing Mom and then Dad tore my world apart, Blythe. Sully handled the loss much better."

"I don't think he did. He hides his pain. He keeps his anxiety bottled up inside."

Coop snorted.

"It's true." Blythe curved her right hand around Coop's tense wrist. "All I ask in return for giving you that money is that you make your way back to Hondo for a family holiday. You can stay at the home place. I'll make sure it's ready. Oh—maybe you didn't know that Sully and I built a new home closer to my clinic. So the old home is empty, waiting for you."

"I'd heard about the new house via the grapevine. Jud Rayburn told me. I'm not sure I can make you that promise. If it turns out I can't, I'll pay you back the money. Or else Sully can, because at some point he'll have to cash out my share of the ranch."

"You can bring Willow," Blythe said.

Coop swiveled his head toward her. "So you know this is her ranch?"

Blythe nodded. "Sully and I rarely keep secrets from each other. Sometimes it takes finding the right moment to unburden, but eventually we do. For instance, I'll tell him about this trip and about the money, probably tonight. So leave Sully to me. Don't let my advancing you some funds stop you from coming home."

"Willow has a daughter," Coop said. "She's Tate Walker's kid, but Willow named her Lilybelle for my mother and hers. Lily is younger than Gray by a few years." Coop swallowed and finally murmured, "She has special needs."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Coop. If you don't mind my asking, what's the nature of her... disability?"

"She's autistic. Willow has a book on the disorder, which I read along with a couple of magazine articles. The thing is, Blythe, other than one set of tests and a meeting with some visiting professionals, she doesn't have access to help. I'm not sure if anything is even available in Carrizo Springs or the surrounding towns. Before I got here, Willow was struggling to take care of herself, her daughter and the ranch." He pulled at his bottom lip. "This place is a far cry from the Triple D, but it has potential. Willow keeps saying she wants to sell and move to a bigger city, but any time I ask if she's talked to her Realtor, she acts as if she'd rather stay here. I think she's afraid to let go of the security. So... this morning, I offered to hang around for a while."

"But I can tell you're not convinced it's the best option, Coop. You know it'd be a short drive to San Antonio from the Triple D. There are all kinds of medical services there. I can check on some if you'd like me to."

He shifted from foot to foot and stroked his jaw without comment.

"I guarantee no mother could resist an offer of top-notch care for her child," Blythe continued. "I understand Willow may not be comfortable in a big city on her own. But... she wouldn't be alone. You love her, Coop. Does she love you, too?"

Momentary guilt flickered in Cooper's eyes as they settled on his sister-in-law. "You cut right to the chase, don't you? I think the answer to both questions is yes. We're making progress. You have to understand there's a lot of baggage piled up between us."

"Big guy like you should be able to wade through any amount of baggage. It's July now. My dad is coming for Thanksgiving. Can I plan on having you, Willow and Lilybelle at the dinner table, too?"

"I thought you said Christmas. Has anyone ever told you that you can be awfully pushy?"

She laughed. "All the time. I have to be in order to make it in the male-dominated world of veterinary medicine, at least in Texas. Plus I have to show those sick horses and bulls—not to mention Sulllivan—who's boss." She raised an arm and flexed her muscles, eliciting a grin from Cooper. "Speaking of sick animals, I need to get back, but I'll spare an extra few minutes if you'd like to me talk to Willow. You know, pave your way?"

"No, but thanks. This is something I need to take care of myself. I'll walk you back to your car. And thank you for the money. Willow's herd is ready for market, but she doesn't have the cash to rent trucks. I'd about drained my account catching up on stuff that needed fixing around here. I always figured Tate was a no-good bastard, and seeing the mess he left his wife and daughter in proved me right."

"This is a pretty enough spot," Blythe said, scanning the area as they walked back to her SUV. "But it's not for you. Your legacy is up north. The Triple D has grown a lot since you left. I'm probably being selfish, but for Sullivan's sake, I want you to come home. And I can see the advantages of Gray having a playmate on the property. He's a good kid, Coop. Far more sensitive than Sully will admit. I could see our son growing up to be a doctor, lawyer or accountant—maybe a vet—but not a rancher." She cleared her throat. "Uh, about Sully approaching you with the papers to make Gray a full third partner... it's nonsense. Gray is afraid of any animal larger than a kitten."

"Ouch. I bet that's tough for my macho brother."

"No as bad as you'd think," she said, hugging Coop before she climbed into the SUV. "Remember, Sully's a marshmallow inside. He loves Gray with every bit of that squishy heart. And he loves you." She pushed the starter and the engine revved.

Coop looked thoughtful as he slapped the flat of his hand on her vehicle. "I have a colt to break before we melt in the heat today, but I promise you, Blythe, I'll talk to Willow soon. The decision will be up to her," he said, tugging at his ear. "One thing I am sure of, I'm not going to leave her. And if we come to the Triple D, I won't stand to have Sully causing her pain or distress. She told me he wasn't nice to her the last time they met. He blamed her for not stopping me from going off. As if she had some power over me that he lacked."

"Family dynamics are complicated. Sully says stuff without thinking sometimes. But he needs you. He's become a workaholic."

"Doesn't he know that's what killed our dad at such a young age?" Coop asked.

"Bless you for realizing that." Sliding out of the seat, Blythe rose on her toes and hugged Coop again. "If I'm pushing you to come home, it's because I want my husband around long enough to grow old with me. I want us both there to play with our grandchildren."

Coop slowly reached up and loosened Blythe's arms. He carried her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "Have you made Sully get a checkup? His heart's okay, isn't it?" Coop stared sharply at Blythe.

"It's not your fault, Coop, so don't blame yourself, but Sully saw the doctor in Hondo shortly after the last argument you two had. His blood pressure was sky-high. Doc Metzger put him on blood-pressure pills. Sully seems calmer now. And I've talked him into hiring a part-time manager. He's not family, though. I don't know if you're aware that your dad put a lot of pressure on Sully to look after the Triple D—and you."

Coop's chest felt tight. "High blood pressure is what caused Dad's heart attack. Tell Sully he'd better watch it." Coop let Blythe slide into the driver's seat, then jammed his hands in his back pockets to keep them still as she urged him once more to come home for the holidays. He watched her until she drove out of sight.

She had a point. Coop needed to go home, even if it was only a short visit to square things with Sully. Maybe Blythe didn't intend to hurt him with her message, but it left him feeling raw. He should've gone inside to discuss everything with Willow right away, but he had a lot to mull over first. She didn't have any warm feelings toward his brother. What would he do if she refused to go with him to the Triple D?

It would be best to sweat out the tug-of-war that seemed to be splitting his skull in two. If he went back to the Triple D for good, he'd want to work with horses again and let Sully handle the cattle. At least the Triple D was big enough to hold the six of them. Earlier Willow had expressed a preference for staying here; perhaps he should've allowed Blythe to get the ball rolling with her. A little voice in his head called him a coward—the last thing he wanted to be in Willow's eyes.

第十章

他俩在薇洛的小盥洗室里先后梳洗一番，然后来到厨房，库珀做好了自己的咖啡，又给薇洛烧了沏茶的水，而薇洛在准备煎蛋卷的配料。

库珀伸手去拿盘子，下巴摩擦着她湿润的发顶，“咱俩很会过日子。别人会以为我们是老夫老妻呢。”

她的头躲开了，双手有点发颤地取出切菜板，“库珀，想过结婚吗？我是说，你曾经准备结婚吗？”

他摆餐具的动作停下了，“你甩了我之后，再没想过了。”“等等，谁甩谁呀？”“行，行。是我们分手后，就再没哪个女人，能让我想带她去竞技赛。”“哦，真的吗？”她挖苦道。“我发誓。竞技赛上的那些女人只是搭档。你知道的，那些铁杆粉丝，像我们在餐馆见到的，多是逢场作戏。”“她们很靓啦。”“哎，这个嘛，可以这么说吧。有几个是一直在找老公，剩下的那些不过是找个男的睡一觉，她们就这么晃着，对胜利者是跟前跑后的。”“我看到了，”她嘟囔着，一边打蛋，“自然喽，这些年你不就是胜利者嘛。”“五连冠。上个赛季一开始我就退出了，开始踏踏实实过日子了。”他打趣道，摆弄着她的马尾辫。突然，莉莉出现了，睡眼蒙眬的，库珀也就不用为自己单身时的放荡生活辩护了。莉莉进了厨房，一只拳头揉着眼睛，另一只手拖着兔子的耳朵。“嘿，你好，宝贝。”库珀叫道，一只腿跪下去，身子和莉莉一样高。

她不揉眼睛了，严肃地向他眨着眼。“早餐她吃什么？”库珀问薇洛，“小孩大多不喜欢吃煎蛋卷，反正，他们不喜欢里面的蘑菇、大蒜这些东西。”“说得真准。她吃饼干加果冻，不要黄油，要咸肉。还有，我放在烤箱加热的咸肉不能挨上饼干的边。”“干什么，吃到肚里不都在一块了嘛。”“我哪里知道，这是我观察到的。这是有的自闭症孩子的恋物癖。想想吧，除了我还没别人给她弄过吃的。要不你看着煎蛋卷，我带她到盥洗室，再给她弄早餐。”薇洛笑着，“我还算幸运呢，她习惯坐便桶。”

库珀起身，拿着锅铲，“我想，她别的那些怪癖，等进了正规学校会得到治疗和矫正的。”

薇洛把饼干切成两半，抬起头说，“也许吧。我看到的教学计划很全面。”她皱了皱眉，变得安静下来。然后她带莉莉走了，一会儿又回来，把小孩放到临时的垫高座椅上，拿开兔子，把盘子放近了点。“一切就绪了，”库珀宣布，熟练地把煎蛋卷切成两半，放到两个盘子上，里面已经有了奶油土司。他给自己又倒了杯咖啡，茶递给了薇洛。“库珀，厨房里的事你一点也不生疏。我得承认，我有点意外。”“我讨厌老在外面吃饭。参赛时我要是有时间，就会住进汽车旅馆——一厅一卧一厨。参赛的年轻小伙子常常随住房汽车旅行。这样的营地热闹非凡，有的派对不分昼夜。结了婚的还有个家住，没结婚的老骑手讨厌那种吵吵闹闹的，就去汽车旅馆。”“啊，是嘛，你是老大不小了，”薇洛笑了，咬了口煎蛋卷，“在退出比赛前，就没有参赛的骑手满三十五或四十的吗？”“不多。有几个顽固派，坚持到底的。马戏演员和套绳的做得长久些。也许还有那些骨子里就是弄竞技赛的。他们每天骑着匹一千六到一千七百磅重的赛马，既要有股子蛮力，还要机敏灵活。凯西·提布斯，有史以来最伟大的竞技赛手，在这个行当作了十一年。那些人群的喧嚣喝彩，我是放不下，不过还不至于迷恋上瘾。我更喜欢安静点的生活。”“昨夜你说你喜欢这儿的生活，库珀，”薇洛试探道，“还说想有自己的农场。”还有块蛋卷没吃，她懒懒地在上面转着叉子，“你甚至还说了自己会留下来。此话当真？”“当真，但那是为了你。你也许不会想到，我在竞技赛上忙得不亦乐乎，可内心却很孤独。怎么说呢，我就想，即便在农场辛辛苦苦劳累一天，然后可以坐下来跟你说说话。或者，什么也不用说，有你在就行。”“德拉蒙德三人农场怎么办？”

库珀一推空盘，“怎么办？你是没在那儿呆过。萨利在那里是一手遮天。这里地方虽小，可强过那儿百倍。我会为你和那小可爱把这里打理得妥妥帖帖，好过以前的。可莉莉需要的是大城市的医疗设施。”他的目光突然转向莉莉贝尔，她正舔着两块饼干上的果冻，吃着咸肉。“太阳已经升得很高了，”库珀一边说道，一边从座椅上站起来，“一会儿就会晒得像蒸桑拿。你要去漆墙的饰边了。你要是答应的话，我就去训练那只科尔马，它已经在农场住下了。一匹母马和一匹马驹，他们带着一半野性。墨西哥有开阔的牧场，我猜它们是从那里失散的。一把它驯服了，就可以阉了，卖点钱，让你凑合过一阵子。我们再拿主意，是继续购进牛群，还是卖了农场走人。”“你要是留下，我就考虑进牲口，库珀，虽说我还得给莉莉寻找治疗和教育，”她叹道，“我不能把她送到寄宿学校。”她也起身，收拾碗碟，走到洗碗槽，把它们冲洗了。她的背僵在那儿，因为她在等库珀的答复。

他走到她身后，让她转过身来，给了她个热吻。“我想和你在一起，”他告诉她，“一个男人需要一个好女人。”他俩边说边挪动，又回到了桌旁，库珀轻柔地吻了一下莉莉的卷发，“也需要一个家。”他补充道。

女孩缩起小小的肩膀，皱着眉头，可不像库珀担心的那样，她没哭没闹。莉莉的手摸了一下自己的头，盯着库珀，咯咯咯地笑了起来。

薇洛的心紧了起来，“这又是一个第一次，一个成功的第一次。”“你瞧？”库珀说，“我的方法管用。也许我们可以尝试自己培养她。搭接个卫星天线，我们可以网上求助。”“真的吗？库珀，你给我俩都带来好运。你带给我的，我几乎都不敢抱一点希望，希望莉莉的日子会好起来。”

库珀拿起帽子，“那么，你呢，是不是该给你的经纪人打个电话，告诉他农场不卖了。不过，别让我影响你。卖不卖农场一定得你来决定，薇洛。”

她咬着嘴唇，他的话是承诺担待，还是顺便一说？千忧万虑闪过她的脑际。站在她面前的这个男人，是她自始至终都爱着的。他身材魁梧，敢作敢为，踏实可靠，性感迷人。有他的鼓励、帮助，也许他们真的可以教育好莉莉，让她生活得更幸福。“我今天就给马库斯·雷尔梯打电话。”她说，知道自己语气有点犹豫。

库珀频频点头，转身要走了，“好的，很好。”

薇洛一下回过神来，紧紧抓住自己的上衣领口，朝库珀大声道，“我知道你看了我的那本关于自闭症的书。我也知道你对她病情的好转抱有多大的热情——还有你为此付出了多少。可我还必须告诉你，大夫和专家都说了，她可能永远赶不上她的同龄人。库珀，自闭症没有仙丹妙药，也没有万灵药。”

他说只要是能改善莉莉的生活质量，他们都要竭其所能，但是有辆车开进了车道，打断了他。他掀开窗帘，吐了口怒气。库珀嘀嘀咕咕地骂了一声，冲向前门，砰地关上身后的纱门。

薇洛反应还慢了点，她穿过厨房，拉开窗帘，瞧了一眼外面。她不认识这车，这是一辆新款的银色皮卡，不是前两天路过农场的那辆。

薇洛本打算回头干自个儿的活，让库珀去应付这个陌生人好了，可当库珀拉开车门，里面走出了一个身材很好的女人，长了一头红发，身着牛仔裤和靴子，上身穿着一件亮黄色的衬衣，本来这与她的头发颜色是很不协调的，可不知怎么的，她看上去却还有几分时髦。

薇洛的嘴巴微微张开着，她望着这个男人，刚刚他才与她温存一夜，现在却离她而去，拉着红发女人拥抱了好一阵子。至少在薇洛的眼里事情就是如此。她感到一阵恶心。窗帘从她颤抖着的指尖滑过，昔日的不安全感卷土重来。她看够了这一切，可还是忍不住呆呆地望着他们。她很清楚库珀·德拉蒙德好那一口，喜欢拈花惹草。然后他俩分开来，薇洛看见了他们相视而笑。随后他们走向库珀的皮卡车，他的手臂不经意地搂着那个女人的细腰。

薇洛两腿一软，跌坐在最近的那把厨房椅子上，就是库珀坐下来吃过早餐的那把椅子。她捂住滚烫的脸，悄悄地哭泣。他再次将她的希望和梦想碎为齑粉。可她用得着觉得奇怪吗？她已经目睹了他在餐馆里和他的女性粉丝打得火热。她想起来了，泰特以前老是揭她的痛处，告诉她库珀在竞技赛圈内老是占女人的便宜。他还发誓，竞技赛行业杂志上的故事并非杜撰。那些事当然不是编的。只要是库珀看上的女人，他最后都会得到。他帅呆了——而且来者不拒。

库珀一认出银色的皮卡，他就怕出去。他也不想当着薇洛的面难堪。一走到外面，看见他的嫂子布莱思从车里出来，他就放心了；他刚才还非常肯定是萨利为借钱的事要和他当面弄个是非曲直。

库珀带着布莱思走到离房子远点的地方，站到了一棵橡树的树阴下，因为让薇洛知道他现在手头拮据没什么意思。接着他才了解到布莱思的来意，结果，他不必问她，是她主动讲的。“库珀，你看上去蛮好的。”她开门见山，“我给你送张支票来，”她从后兜取出张蓝色叠成方形的东西，递给他，“萨利说，几天前你打了电话，需要钱。”“萨利让你来的？”“不全是。”

库珀看了眼支票，一万元，是他向他哥要的数目的两倍，“布莱思，这是从你诊所账户上取的吧。”库珀抬高了一边的眉毛，“我不能要你的钱。”他试图把支票还给她。

她钩住他的手指，坚决要他把支票收起来，“我们是一家人，库珀。”“萨利晓得你来看我吗？他知道你要给我送支票来吗？”他挥舞着支票。“我想不用我来告诉你他有时有多倔吧。”“有时吗？”库珀火气来了。“没错，就有时吧。大多数时候他还是心慈手软的。”话到这里，布莱思的眼里满含温情，“萨利对格雷有着无限的耐心。对我，他是位极好的丈夫。库珀，我今天瞒着他来见你，心里总有点歉疚。但我也不管不顾了，我想你俩和好如初。你们是亲兄弟。不光这个，德拉蒙德三人农场靠萨利一个人撑不下去。”“他不是雇了帮手嘛。我听说他打了广告，雇了个临时的经理。”“因为我求他这样做的。只是临时的，到圣诞节就期满了。他想你回家过节。库珀，他正盼着呢。我们都盼着这一天。”

库珀凝视着这房子，望着附近起伏的群山，他把支票塞进了衬衣口袋，“也许好多事情都木已成舟，无可挽回了。”“德拉蒙德三人农场是你的遗产。”“打老爸去世之后到现在，我还没感觉到。”“那又另当别论。马特也不愿意看你们兄弟阋墙。你妈妈过世后，你们就是他活下去的希望和寄托，你们俩都是。”“布莱思，我丧母又丧父，我的世界都毁了。萨利比我强，能更好地面对这痛苦。”“我不这么看。他把痛苦藏了起来。他把焦虑不安藏在了在心里。”

库珀的鼻子哼了一声。“是真的，”布莱思的右手抓着库珀紧张的手腕，“我给你这些钱，只是为了你能回洪多，咱们一家人团聚。你可以回家住。我保证到时一切会准备好的。哦——或许你不知道，萨利和我建了新屋，靠诊所近些。老宅空着，就等你回家。”“新房子嘛，我听到过小道消息，尤德·雷伯恩说的。我还不能保证我能给你承诺什么。如果我真没做到，我会还钱给你的。或者，萨利会付给你的，因为他总得用现金支付我的股份。”“你可以带上薇洛回来。”布莱思说。

库珀扭头看着她，“你知道这是她的农场喽？”

布莱思点点头，“萨利和我之间几乎没什么秘密，有时是时机未到，但终归有机会彼此坦白的。比如说，我会有机会告诉他来了这儿一趟，还有这钱的事，可能在今晚就告诉他。萨利那儿有我来处理。别因为我给了点钱，拦住了你回家的路。”“薇洛有个女儿，”库珀说，“泰特·沃克的孩子，可薇洛给她取名莉莉贝尔，用了我妈和她妈的名字。莉莉比格雷小几岁。”库珀哽咽着，终于喃喃道，“她需要特殊教育。”“啊，很抱歉，库珀。你不介意的话，她患的是哪种性质的……残疾？”“她有自闭症。薇洛买了本书，有关这种疾病的，我读了，还看了几篇杂志上刊登的文章。布莱思，可问题是，除了给小孩做些测试，或者让一些专业人员来访之外，她没有别的救助途径。我不知道，在卡里索斯普林斯或周边城镇有没有能帮助提供的地方。我来之前，薇洛为自己、为女儿、为农场苦苦挣扎。”他抿着下嘴唇，“这个地方和德拉蒙德三人农场相差甚远，可还有潜力。薇洛总是说，她要卖掉农场，搬到更大的城市，可每次我问她，跟经纪人谈了没有，她又好像想留下来。我想她是害怕失去安全感。所以……今天早上，我主动提出再留下一段时间。”“不过，库珀，我看得出，你也不相信这是最佳选择。你晓得，从德拉蒙德三人农场到圣安东尼奥就一会儿的车程。那里各种医疗服务一应俱全。你要愿意，我可以帮着查查。”

他的重心一会儿落在左脚，一会儿落在右脚，手摸着下巴，没吭声。“我打赌，没有妈妈会拒绝给孩子一流的治疗，”布莱思继续道，“我理解，薇洛靠自己一个人在大城市打拼不会那么容易。可……她不会自己生活的。库珀，你爱她。她也爱你吧？”

库珀的眼神瞬间闪现出愧疚的神色，他看着嫂子，“真让你给问着了，是吧？我想，两个问题的答案都是肯定的。我们俩相处得已有进展。你还得理解，我们俩之间还有好多事情需要磨合协调。”“像你这样的大男人，应该有能力应对任何问题。现在七月份了。我老爸要来过感恩节。我能否计划在感恩节的饭桌上也能见到你、薇洛和莉莉贝尔？”“我记得你说的是圣诞节。有没有人说过，你做事还蛮雷厉风行的？”

她笑了，“大家一直这么说来着。在兽医学界，一向男人主宰天下，至少在得州是如此，一个女人要弄点名堂出来，我不得已而为之。我还得让那些病马、病牛——不用说了还包括沙利文——明白谁是老板。”她伸出手臂，弯曲着肌肉，惹得库珀笑了，她继续说道，“说起病着的牲口，我得回去了，不过你要是愿意，我还可以跟薇洛再聊几分钟。你明白的，给你做点铺垫。”“不用了，可还得谢谢你。这事还是我自己处理吧。我送你回车上，还得谢谢你的钱喽。薇洛的牲口可以上市卖了，可她没钱租卡车。农场这儿，总得添东置西，我的存折差不多用光了。我常想，泰特真不是个东西，他给老婆孩子留下的这个破烂摊子证明了我是对的。”“这地方还挺不错的，”布莱思环视一下说道，他们走回皮卡，“可这毕竟不是你的农场。你的财产在北边。自打你离开，德拉蒙德三人农场已经发展壮大好多了。我也许有点自私，但为沙利文着想，我想让你回家。农场上有个玩伴，对格雷也是好事。他是个好孩子，库珀。他非常敏感，超乎你哥愿意承认的限度。我的儿子长大了应该当位医生、做个律师或者会计——也许是一位兽医——但不会做农场主。”她清清嗓子，“啊，萨利那天给你的那些文件，要格雷成为三分之一股份的合伙人……那纯属胡闹。格雷看见任何比小猫大的动物都害怕。”“啊。我敢打赌，像我哥这种很爷们儿的人，是很难接受这个事实的。”“没你想的那么糟，”她说，上车前拥抱了库珀，“记住了，萨利其实心软，他对格雷是呵护有加的。他也爱你。”她发动了车子，引擎轰轰作响。

库珀拍了拍她的车，表情若有所思，“我还得趁天没那么热之前，驯服一头马驹，不过，布莱思，我保证我会很快跟薇洛谈谈。主意还得她拿，”他说着，一只手弄着耳朵，“有件事我能保证，我不会离开她的。如果我们回到德拉蒙德三人农场，萨利要是让她痛苦或不开心，那我是不能忍受的。她说上次他们见过面，他对她就不怎么客气。他责备她没拦住我，那口气好像她有可以掌控我的力量而他没有。”“家事总难理得清。萨利有时说话不过脑，可他需要你。他已经成工作狂了。”“难道他不知道就是因为这个，父亲才那么年轻就丧命吗？”“好在你已经明白了。”布莱思离了座位，踮着脚尖，再次拥抱库珀，“如果说我是在逼你回家，是因为我想我的丈夫和我一块儿慢慢变老。我盼望我俩一道见到儿孙满堂。”

库珀慢慢抬起手，松开布莱思的臂膀，拉起她的手，吻了她的手背，“你让萨利做体检了吗？他的心脏应该没事，对吧？”库珀直盯着布莱思。“那不是你的错，库珀，不要自责。上次你俩争吵后，他马上就去看洪多的医生了，他的血压高得吓人。梅茨格医生给他开了降压药，现在他平静些了。我也说服他，雇了个临时经理。可那究竟不是自己人。我不知道，你晓不晓得你爸曾对萨利千叮咛万嘱托，要他管好农场——还有照顾好你。”

库珀的心绷紧了，“就是高血压引发了父亲的心脏病，叫萨利要当心点。”库珀让布莱思回到驾驶座，他把自己的手塞进后兜，免得哆嗦，布莱思还在叮嘱他回家过节。他望着她，直到车子开出视线。

她说的没错。库珀需要回家，哪怕暂时回去一趟，跟萨利把有些事理顺。也许布莱思无意伤害他，可他还是感到心痛。他本该马上进去和薇洛和盘托出，但他还有好些事要先琢磨琢磨。她对他的哥哥没什么好感。她要是拒绝去德拉蒙德三人农场，他该怎么办？

他的内心冲突激烈，仿佛要撕裂他的大脑，他多希望流汗就能平复这一切。他要是永远呆在德拉蒙德三人农场，他想自己会重新养马，让萨利负责牛群。至少德拉蒙德三人农场很大，足以容纳下他们六个人。早先薇洛已经说了，想留在这儿；也许他真该让布莱思去跟她说道说道。他心里有个小小的声音在叫他胆小鬼——这是他最不愿意在薇洛面前流露出来的。

Chapter Eleven

Willow wanted to start painting the trim on the house, but she didn't want to go outside while Cooper was entertaining his latest groupie. She certainly didn't want to appear nosy. But she was hurt and curious, so she peeked around the curtains more than once. It was like rotten icing on the cake that she chose to look out just as the red-haired woman was saying goodbye. Bad enough that Coop had greeted her enthusiastically with a big hug, but as the redhead prepared to leave, she climbed into her car—only to jump back out and wrap Coop in an embrace that seemed to go on forever. And then he kissed her hand. No matter how many times Willow told herself not to be upset, she was. The SUV backed out and took off down the road, but Coop watched it go. Was that a new spring in his step as he finally turned to walk away? How dumb had she been to let him in her house last night? Or worse, welcome him into her bed.

Well, technically not her bed. He'd made an issue of not using the bed where she'd slept with her husband. That should have told her something. But after their incredible night, didn't Coop owe her—what? Respect? Darn right he did. Tate never respected her and she needed that from Cooper. She also needed to respect herself. The next time Coop Drummond waltzed upto her door, he'd find it shut tight—same as her heart.

Not wanting him to catch her at the window where he could accuse her of spying, she hurried to the back of the house. She made Lily's bed and straightened her room. As she passed her own bedroom, the sight of her bed, which hadn't been slept in, was a stark reminder of the hours she'd spent in Coop's arms. Small aches were magnified, reminding her of the way she'd rolled around on the living-room floor with him for half the night. They'd spent the other half together on a too-narrow sofa.

But what did their night of fantastic sex mean to Cooper? Apparently not as much as it meant to her, she thought, straining to hear him come back inside. Surely he'd pop in to pick up something to take for lunch. Despite insisting that she didn't want to see him again, she kept listening for him. She told herself to act blasé. Let him bring up his visitor. Let him explain all those hugs.

Minutes ticked by. There was nothing left for Willow to straighten in the house, and still Cooper hadn't come back.

Although she refused to give in to more tears, they weren't far from the surface. At last, deciding to see what was going on, Willow looped her hair up under the baseball cap she wore for painting and stepped onto the porch.

Standing at the railing, she saw Coop ride out on the sorrel gelding named Rusty. He didn't glance back. He seemed relaxed in the saddle, like he didn't have a care in the world. No, the cares were all hers, she thought bitterly.

What really broke her heart was to watch Lilybelle get up from where she sat in her usual spot on the porch, stretching out an arm toward the disappearing rider. Not one to show much—if any—emotion, Lily wiggled her fingers the way she'd taken to doing when she wanted Coop to pick her up. Her expression as she turned to her mother was one of bewilderment. He'd made so much progress with Lily. And now, after canoodling with his morning visitor, it was plain he didn't give a damn about that or anything else.

How could she have been so gullible? "I think it's a good thing I didn't call the realty office and cancel the sell order on our ranch, honeybee." Willow walked over to where Lily had again plopped down with her rabbit.

Kneeling, Willow touched her child's shoulder. "Say, Bye-bye, Coop. We won't see him again until suppertime. If then." Rising, Willow couldn't admit how suddenly she felt a pang at the thought that perhaps they wouldn't ever see him. She tried to shake off her concern; after all, it was only yesterday she'd tried to send him away. She hadn't convinced him to go, but maybe his visitor had.

Willow brought Lily a handful of animal crackers and then hauled the paint supplies out of the shed where she'd stored them prior to the storm. She couldn't seem to shake her feeling of unease.

There was probably still some electricity in the air from last night's fast-moving disturbance. She couldn't blame Coop for everything. Her jumpiness might be nothing more than anxiety over climbing to the top rung of the ladder to paint the fascia at the ends of the house.

She started at the highest point, where it would be possible to see Coop in the upper pasture. How pathetic was that, she thought, grimacing as she opened the can of steel-blue paint. She spotted the sorrel's broomstick tail where the horse had been staked out in a patch of grass, but Coop was nowhere to be seen.

The blue trim looked great against the gray siding. Coop sure pegged the color right. Once finished, it'd definitely make the house more attractive.

Willow's stomach dipped again. So, did she want to sell? All the absurd planning she and Cooper had done over breakfast, when she'd coaxed him to stay here with her and Lily, boiled down to nothing of substance. It was better to move on. But was it better for Lilybelle, who'd responded to Coop? Hadn't Willow warned him not to set himself up in that role? He could play fast and loose with her heart and she'd recover because she'd been hurt worse. But Lily was vulnerable. She didn't deserve Cooper's careless behavior.

Willow took angry swipes at the board in both directions as far as she could reach. Then she climbed down and moved the ladder, repeating the process around the back and the opposite side of the house, all the while keeping a close eye on Lily.

She stopped for lunch, fixing meat loaf sandwiches for the two of them. Out of habit, she made extra for Coop. He didn't show up to eat it, so she bagged his and put it in the fridge.

Willow silently hoped he got a bellyache from skipping his midday meal.

Around three o'clock she finished painting, stamped the lid back on the paint can and returned her supplies to the shed. She was washing paint off her arms with the hose when a vehicle pulled into her driveway. Willow turned off the water and checked on her daughter's whereabouts. When she glanced back at the driveway, she was surprised to see the same maroon SUV that had twice driven past the house the day she and Coop argued by the fence. She hastily dried her hands on her shirttail, then fetched Lily, who'd begun rocking nervously.

Willow was further surprised to see a second vehicle pull in and park behind the SUV. A county sheriff's vehicle. Taking Lily's hand in her now-sweating one, Willow descended the porch steps. Nerves fluttered in her belly.

Had the driver of the SUV been speeding and randomly chosen her driveway to pull off the road? If so, he'd pulled in pretty far.

The door of the SUV popped open and out came Willow's former father-in-law. Stifling a gasp, Willow held Lily back.

Bart Walker was big and gruff, and smelled heavily of cigar smoke. The one time he'd visited at the start of her marriage, he'd acted as if she didn't exist. And he'd barely tolerated her presence at Tate's funeral.

Lily picked up on her mother's unrest and wrapped one arm around Willow's leg, where she clung. Feeling defensive, Willow swung her daughter up to straddle her hip.

Her brain foggy, Willow didn't fully comprehend what was happening when the sheriff approached, introduced himself as Sheriff Richards, and forced a paper into her free hand, saying, "Mrs. Walker, your deceased husband's father has filed eviction papers on this property. I need you to go inside and pack up your belongings. Do you have friends in Carrizo Springs to bunk with until you make other arrangements?"

The gray-haired sheriff had doffed his hat. He stood in front of Willow, turning it around and around in his weathered hands.

Unable to fully digest his words, Willow merely blinked at him until Bart Walker slammed his car door. Chewing on a stubby cigar, he stomped over to her. He stared at Coop's pickup and horse trailer before demanding in a gravelly voice, "Where'd you get the fancy rig? You didn't have anything like that when I came to bury my son."

That shook Willow out of her stupor. She feared this man and she wasn't about to let him know a former neighbor of his, someone who had always been at odds with his son, was on the ranch. "The rig belongs to my current hired hand. He's out on the property. What does this mean, Bart?" She shook the paper.

Walker moved the cigar to the other side of his mouth. "I heard at the feed store that you're vaccinating and branding. Maybe I'll have your hired hand do some chores for me. Good thing the iron you ordered was the Bar W. The cattle and all of this belongs to me." He waved an encompassing arm.

Despite the hot sun beating down, Willow shivered. Dredging up her nerve, she said, "Those are my cattle. Tate sold most of the stock you bought the year we got married. I developed a small herd over the past few years."

"The hell you say. I happen to know you sold ranch property to buy calves." He stabbed a finger toward the upper range. "I figure we're square, though, because you paid my loan interest over the past year."

Willow felt her world slipping out from under her feet, and all she could do was clutch Lily tighter. Why hadn't the bank mortgage officer notified her. He probably assumed she and Bart had an arrangement since she was his daughter-in-law.

Sheriff Richards stepped between her and Bart. "He has papers to show he cosigned loans on the property," the sheriff said gently. "Mr. Walker came to town last week. He paid off the bank, so everything belongs to him now except your personal belongings."

"That's nothing," Willow mumbled. "I came here with one suitcase full of jeans and T-shirts. But... Lilybelle was born here," she said. "As Tate's daughter, isn't she entitled to something? Sheriff, we hardly ever go to town. This is our home." Willow hated to beg anything of Tate's dad, but she would for her child.

"So, are you saying you have nowhere else to go?" the sheriff asked sympathetically.

Willow didn't answer. She did have that small stash of money hidden away, but she hadn't counted it in a long time, and she had no idea if there was enough for a hotel room or bus tickets.

"Mr. Walker, surely you can afford to grub stake the missus and her daughter. We are talking about your grandchild," the older man said pointedly.

Bart spit out the stubby cigar and ground it into the earth with his shiny boot heel. Extracting another from a silver case he carried in his shirt pocket, he rolled it around his tongue, then lit it, snuffing the match between his thumb and forefinger. "I might be able to spare a hundred bucks," he said, puffing away. "But I'm gonna tell you, Sheriff. Tate wasn't positive the kid was his. He told me this little slut slept around."

Willow's mouth flew open. "What? That's a lie!"

The sheriff stopped her from further objections. "I need to get back to the office. I'd appreciate it if you went in and gathered your things quickly, Mrs. Walker. You two can sort this out later in a court of law."

"Fine," she said grimly. "On second thought, I don't want so much as a dime from him." She marched inside with as much dignity as she could muster considering her knees felt like water.

Fury carried her through packing two battered suitcases she pulled from the closet in Lily's room. Alternating between praying Coop would stay away until she left, and wishing he'd ride in and wipe the smirk off Bart Walker's face, Willow folded clothing into each case. She also packed the book on autism, which Coop had returned, Lily's baby album, the coloring books and crayons Coop had bought and a few storybooks Lily loved. Regretfully, there wasn't room for the colored blocks, so she left them along with the radio Coop had given her. That hurt, too. She gave it a lingering touch, then left the room.

Setting the suitcases in the hall, Willow ducked into the bathroom and counted out the cash in her. Just under two hundred dollars. Her heart sank as she stuffed the bills into her pocket, then put the box in her overstuffed suitcase. She probably shouldn't have gotten up on her high horse and refused the money Bart might have forked over. But who knew what kind of strings would be attached? If he ever grew a heart and reconsidered the loss of his only grandchild, she'd just as soon not give him any reason to sue for access.

Willow knew that the sheriff, who seemed to dislike being Bart's messenger boy, was anxious to leave, but she decided he could wait a few more minutes. Zipping into the kitchen, she cut some apples and cheddar cheese and bagged them for snacks. She took the sandwich she'd made for Cooper, and added graham crackers and string cheese for Lily—a light supper on the bus. Now, away from the man who'd uprooted her life, Willow was able to think more clearly. Unless the Greyhound buses passing through Carrizo Springs had changed from the route she'd memorized during Tate's worst binges, they had just enough time to catch the bus headed for San Antonio.

Willow considered scribbling a note to Coop, but figured Bart would destroy any note she left. She didn't doubt that he'd do everything in his power to cause Coop trouble. There were so many problems with leaving this way; at the same time, there was no reason she should fight to stay, she thought, recalling Coop's morning rendezvous with the redhead.

Sheriff Richards was waiting patiently on the porch. He relieved Willow of the suitcases. "If I were you, I'd hang on to that eviction notice." He covered a cough. "In case down the line you decide to make a case for part of the property for your daughter," he added quietly.

Willow dabbed her eyes. Determined not to shed any tears, she mumbled, "Thank you," and checked that the folded papers were still in her back pocket. But what chance would she ever have of launching a lawsuit against a powerful man like Bart Walker, who could afford a bevy of expensive lawyers?

The sheriff stowed her bags in the front passenger seat and assisted her and Lily into the back. "Sorry about the cage," he said. "But county rules say anybody I transport has to sit in back," he said.

She buckled in, then slumped down as far as possible in the seat. "It does make me feel as if I'm a criminal being hauled off to jail," she said.

The sheriff's eyes were on his rearview mirror. "Uh, hold on a minute," he said. "Mr. Walker is flagging us down. Maybe he's had a change of heart."

Bart hiked down the hill toward the car. Huffing from exertion, he leaned into the sheriff's rolled-down window and addressed Willow. "That rig—the Dodge Ram and matching horse trailer—they look too pricey for a hired hand. Do you swear it's not an outfit Tate bought? He told me he cleaned up at the gaming tables, but after checking out the barn and shed, and figuring how much dough I sent over the years, I'm coming up short. Way short."

"It's not Tate's rig. The unvarnished truth is, your son lost his shirt gambling. This ranch wouldn't be yours to repossess and the three of us wouldn't have had food on the table if I hadn't beat Tate to the mailbox every time your checks arrived. Tate was usually so drunk that I forged his signature, deposited the checks and paid our bills before he could blow the rest."

"You're pretty cheeky sittin' there behind big John Law. Strikes me you could've left him anytime. Isn't that what women do?" The man's jowly face turned red. "So don't speak ill of my son."

Willow sank back. "Sheriff, is there any reason—any legal reason—I need to stay and hear more of this?"

"No. Walker, you have your ranch. Please step away from the car. I'm doing my duty and escorting them off your land." Gunning the engine of his aging Crown Vic, Sheriff Richards gave Bart Walker a moment to withdraw his hand, then drove off.

"I owe you," Willow said tiredly. "I'm sorry to leave my hired hand to face him later today. They know each other from up north. Near Hondo," she said. "In fact, the Bar W that Bart owns would make ten of this place. I find it odd that he's waited until now to come and claim it."

The sheriff drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm a public servant and owe everybody in my jurisdiction equal treatment under the law. All I can say is, maybe for the sake of your sweet girl, it'd behoove you to try and file a claim."

"Lilybelle is Tate Walker's child," she stressed. "It's never crossed my mind that I might need to prove it."

"I don't doubt she is," the sheriff said, connecting with her eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I appreciate that. Do you know if the San Antonio bus still stops at the Carrizo Springs depot at six-twenty? If I can afford tickets, it's the bus I'd like to catch."

"We'll make it with ten minutes to spare. I rarely carry much cash when I'm working. If twenty bucks will make the difference to you getting tickets, I'll toss it in your kitty."

"You are a nice man. Unless the price has gone up a lot since last I checked, I have enough." She likely had plenty to buy the tickets, but she was worried about what she'd do when they got to San Antonio. She'd have to work that out later. If she was careful, she probably had enough for a night at a motel. Failing that, there were Salvation Army shelters.

Willow felt guilty knowing she still owed Coop a lot. Despite how things had apparently disintegrated after breakfast, she hated to leave him to confront Bart Walker without warning. But Coop was a grown man. He could stand up to Bart.

Staring out at the passing scenery, she wondered how Coop would handle the situation, knowing he'd forked out his own money on her ranch—for paint, for feed, for vaccines and food—only to have a man he disliked almost as much as Tate come and claim it all.

Memories of Coop's touch, of the night they'd shared, filled her with a rush of emotion. Foolish or not, some part of her would always love Cooper Drummond.

"There's the bus you want to catch just pulling up in front of the depot. It's early by fifteen minutes. I'll park here to let you and your girl out to buy fares. I'll fetch your bags."

"Oh, boy. People will really think I'm being run out of town." Willow made a face, but nevertheless she slid out after the sheriff opened the door for her and Lily.

"Why care what anyone thinks?" Richards asked.

"You and I know the truth. When you get to your destination, you'll likely never see any of your busmates again."

"True. Some people in this town have gossiped about me, though. You know what? I can't even complain about that. Their rumors brought someone out of my past to that ranch, and my real regret for leaving like this is knowing I've left him to deal with—well, I had no choice, did I?"

"Huh?" The sheriff removed his hat and scratched his head as his passenger swept up her child and rushed off to the ticket counter. She was still counting out crumpled bills when Richards deposited her bags at her feet. He didn't tip his hat and wish her good luck until he saw that she had enough money to cover the price of two tickets with some left over.

"Thanks for the lift," she told him as the bus driver stowed her bags in a compartment under the bus.

"Anytime," Richards said, smiling at her and Lily before turning to drive off. But it wasn't until they were settled in their seats on the Greyhound that Willow realized should've told him that if Cooper came looking for her, he should feel free to tell him where they'd gone.

She then decided that was longer than a long shot. The redhead must live nearby, and in the few short glimpses Willow had of her, she could see that the well-put-together woman didn't spell half the trouble for Coop that she and Lily did. He might even be relieved to be rid of her and her problems. For all she knew, he'd been lingering in the field, trying to figure out how to back out of their deal.

The passengers who'd gotten off for a short break climbed back on board. The bus lurched forward, leaving behind a sinking sun that streaked the small dusty town in shades of red and orange.

第十一章

薇洛想要开始漆墙面的饰边，但库珀在接待他最新的粉丝，她不想走到屋外去。她不想显得爱管闲事。但她确实感到很受伤，也很好奇，所以，她在窗帘处偷看了好几次。她朝外一看，正好目睹了红发女郎跟他道别的一幕，那感觉就如同蛋糕上面烂掉的酥皮。真让人看不顺眼，库珀已经热情地给了她个迎接的拥抱，而现在那红发女郎就要离开，已经进了车——不想偏又跳下车，热烈地拥抱着库珀，久久不愿跟他分开。接着他吻了她的手。无论她怎么告诉自己别为这档子事烦恼，可她偏要。皮卡往后倒着，然后上路开走了，可库珀还望着车开远了。他终于转身走了，那步伐似乎更轻快了？她有多傻，昨晚居然让他在房间过夜？更丢人现眼的是，自己竟然主动邀他上床。

不过，严格说来也不是她的床。他还特别计较这事，不上她和她丈夫睡过的床。这多少都能让人琢磨点什么出来。可他们一夜销魂之后，难道库珀不欠她点什么——欠什么呢？尊重？可库珀够尊重她的了。泰特从没尊重过她，可她需要库珀尊重她。她也需自尊自重。下次库珀·德拉蒙德来到她的门前时，一定要他吃闭门羹，就像她的心一样。

她不想让他发现自己在窗边看他，那样他会说是在暗中监视他，她三步并作两步，回到后屋。她给莉莉整理了床，收拾了她的房间。她走过自己的卧室，一见到他不愿意睡的那张床，就想起睡在库珀怀里的分分秒秒，就让她不快。小小的痛楚一下膨胀开了，她又想起他俩颠鸾倒凤，半夜睡在客厅的地板上。余下的半夜，他俩就依偎在窄窄的沙发上。

这销魂之夜对库珀意味着什么？显然库珀并没像她那样往心里去，她一边想，一边细心地听着库珀回屋没有。他准会进来拿点什么当午餐。虽说她决意不想再见他，可耳朵却没闲着。她告诉自己要表现得冷静一些，让他自己讲出来者何人，让他解释那一个又一个的拥抱。

时间滴答滴答地过去了。房间没什么可让薇洛打理的了，可她就是没见库珀的影子。

她虽然拒绝眼泪，可眼泪就在眼眶里打转。末了，薇洛决定一看究竟，她戴上棒球帽，头发盘到帽子里，这是她涂漆的装束，然后她走上了门廊。

站在栏杆旁，她看见库珀骑上栗色马“拉斯特”走了，头也没回。他坐在马上悠然自得，仿佛在世上无牵无挂。哎，真是的，只剩她在这牵肠挂肚的，她想着，心里酸酸的。

真正让她伤心的是，她看见莉莉贝尔坐在门廊上，从她常玩的地方站起来，把手伸给那位远去的骑马人。这举动并没流露出多少情感——假如有的话，她摆动着手指，每每她要库珀抱她时，她就会做这个动作。她扭头朝着妈妈，有点困惑。他跟莉莉已经处得很好了。可现在，跟他的来访者一阵卿卿我我之后，他就把什么事都抛在脑后了。

她会那么容易上当受骗吗？“哎，宝贝，没打电话给经纪人，取消卖农场，居然成了件好事。”扑通一声，莉莉和兔子又落了下去，薇洛走过去。

薇洛跪在地上，抚摸着孩子的肩膀，“说，再见，库珀。我们要到吃晚饭时才能见到他喽。要是那时。”薇洛起身，可她不得不承认，一想到自己可能会再也见不到他，她内心就一阵剧痛。她努力摆脱这些心烦意乱的事；可不是嘛，她昨天还在赶他走呢。她没能说服他走，或许来访者做到了。

薇洛拿给莉莉一把动物饼干，再把油漆挪出牲口棚，暴风雨来之前油漆就搁在那儿了。可她的心还是七上八下的。

昨夜雷雨交加，或许空中还有电流。她不能什么事都去怪库珀。她现在紧张兮兮的，也许不过是因为自己爬到了梯子的顶层，去漆房屋的过梁横带引起的。

她从最高点开始上油漆，这样就可以看见库珀在高处牧场干活。她边打开铁青色的油漆罐，边想着，这太悲摧了，还做着鬼脸。她望见了栗色马的扫帚尾巴，马儿被拴在一处草坪吃草，可就是看不见库珀的影子。

蓝色的饰边和灰色的墙面协调美观，库珀真把颜色选对了。一旦粉刷完毕，房子一定会增色不少。

薇洛的心又一沉。她想卖掉吗？她和库珀早餐时做的那些荒唐规划，她要库珀跟她和莉莉一块留下来，其结果全不靠谱。还是忘掉这些，继续生活吧。莉莉现在跟库珀有交流了，这会对她更好吗？薇洛不是警告过他，不要充当那种角色吗？他可以玩弄她的感情，因为她受到过更大的伤害，她能恢复过来。但莉莉太脆弱，她不能承受库珀这些无心行为的后果。

薇洛奋力地刷着，左右开弓，够得越远越好。然后她爬下来，挪动梯子，在屋前屋后就这么刷呀刷呀，但她也一直留心着莉莉。

她停下来吃午餐，给娘俩做了肉糕三明治，她习惯了，也给库珀做了一份。他没来吃。她把它打包放进冰箱。

薇洛暗暗盼着他没吃午饭闹肚子疼才好呢。

三点左右，她把活干完了，盖好油漆盖，把它拿回牲口棚。她正用水管冲洗着手臂上的油漆，突然一辆车开进了私家车道。薇洛关掉水管，瞧瞧女儿在哪儿。她回头一看，吃了一惊，几天前她和库珀在栅栏旁争论时，不就是这辆栗色皮卡两次从屋前开过嘛。她赶紧在衬衣上揩干手，抱起莉莉，女儿已经开始紧张地摇晃身子了。

薇洛更感惊讶，因为还有辆车停在了皮卡的后面。是一辆县级警车。薇洛走下台阶，她的手汗涔涔的，握住了莉莉的手。她的心里直打鼓。

莫非皮卡开得太快，只是随意用一下她的车道停车？如果是那样的话，那车开得也太靠里了。

皮卡的门突然打开，薇洛从前的公公下了车。薇洛差点没叫出声来，她搂住了莉莉。

巴特·沃克生得高高大大，脾气暴躁，浑身一股雪茄味。刚结婚时，他来过一次，言谈举止中就好像她不存在。在泰特的葬礼上对她也是看不顺眼。

莉莉觉察到了妈妈的不安，她用一只手搂着薇洛的腿，紧紧贴着她。薇洛感觉不能就这么傻站着，一下把女儿背在了自己背上。

薇洛的脑子一头雾水，她不明白眼前发生的一切。警察走了过来，介绍自己是理查兹警长，一边塞给她一份公文，说，“沃克太太，你前夫的父亲要收回农场，我需要你进屋，打点好自己的行李。你在卡里索斯普林斯有没有朋友，可以将就一晚，等你安排好了再说？”

灰白头发的警长脱下帽子，他站在薇洛跟前，一双饱经风霜的手转动着帽子。

薇洛感到莫名其妙，只对他眨巴眨巴眼睛。这时，巴特砰地关上车门。嘴里衔着根又粗又短的雪茄，他跺着脚过来了。他两眼盯着库珀的皮卡车和马拖车，随即用粗重沙哑的声音质问道，“你在哪里弄的那时髦的玩意？我来埋儿子时，可没见到那东西？”

薇洛神智恍惚，一听问话才回过神来。她怕这人，她不会让他知道他从前的邻居，一直跟他儿子有过节的人，就在农场。“这车是我雇佣的帮手的，他到农场上干活去了。巴特，你这什么意思？”她抖着公文。

沃克把雪茄挪到嘴角的另一端，“我在饲料店听说了，你在给牲口打疫苗、烙印。或许我该叫你的帮手给我干几天活。好在你订购的烙印还是沃克标志。牛群和这一切归我所有了。”他一挥手，仿佛气吞山河。

太阳还火辣辣的，可薇洛打了个寒战。她鼓起勇气说道，“这些是我的牛群。在我和泰特结婚的那一年，泰特就把你买的大多数牛都卖掉了。过去几年我慢慢地养起了自己的牛群，虽说规模不大。”“老子懒得跟你废话。我还听说，你把农场的家当卖了去买牛群。”他用指头指向高处的农场，“我想，我们也算扯平了，过去一年你给我付了银行贷款利息。”

薇洛感到她的世界山崩地裂，她无能为力，只有更加死死地抓住莉莉。为什么银行办理抵押的人员没有通知她？他或许误以为她和巴特之间有约在先，因为她是他的儿媳妇。

理查兹警官站到了她和巴特之间，“他出示了文书，农场贷款有他的签名，”警官温和地说，“沃克先生上周来镇上，他付清了银行贷款，所以这都归他了，除了你的私人物件。”“我没多少私人东西，”薇洛嘟囔道，“我来时就一个行李箱，装满了牛仔裤和T恤衫。可……莉莉贝尔出生在这儿，”她说，“作为泰特的女儿，难道她无权继承什么吗？警官，我很少去镇上。这儿是我的家。”薇洛不愿意求泰特的父亲，可为了她的孩子，她愿意。“那么，你是说你现在无家可归？”警官同情地问道。

薇洛没回答，她确实存了一点点私房钱，可好久没清点过了，也不知道够不够住一晚上旅馆或买车票。“沃克先生，你肯定可以给这位太太和她的女儿提供点生活上的帮助吧。我们是在说你的孙女儿。”老人一针见血地说。

巴特吐掉又粗又短的雪茄，用闪光发亮的皮靴后跟把它磨进土里。他从衬衫里掏出个银色盒子，又取出支雪茄，先在舌头上舔了舔，然后点燃它，吹熄了食指和拇指间的火柴。“我可以给个一百块钱，”他说道，吐了口气，“可我得告诉你，警官。泰特都不敢说这孩子一定是他的。他跟我说这娘们儿到处跟人乱搞。”

薇洛的嘴张得大大的，“你说什么？撒谎！”

警官拦住她，让她不要继续争了。“我要回办公室去。沃克太太，还得麻烦你进屋快点收拾你的东西。这事你们以后还可以对簿公堂。”“好，”她阴沉着脸说道，“再说，我一个子儿也不稀罕他的。”她的两膝盖已经瘫软如水，可她还是抬头挺胸进了屋，尽量保持她的尊严。

她从莉莉房间的衣柜里拖出两个破旧的箱子，怒气冲冲地打着包。她的内心徘徊犹豫：她既希望库珀在她离开后才回来，又想库珀长驱直入，打掉挂在巴特·沃克脸上的嚣张气焰。薇洛把衣物叠好，放进箱里。她把库珀还的那本有关自闭症的书也收进了箱子，还有莉莉的相册，库珀买的彩色图画书和蜡笔，以及几本莉莉喜欢的故事书。很遗憾，没空间装那些彩色积木了，还有库珀给她买的收音机，她也没有带走。这也让她伤感。她抚摸着留下的东西，恋恋不舍，随后离开了房间。

薇洛将箱子放在大厅，迅速溜进盥洗间，取出卫生棉条箱里的现钱，差一点不足两百块。当把钱塞进衣袋的时候，她的心沉了一下，然后她又把棉条箱放进了塞得满满行李箱。也许她真不该自不量力，回绝了巴特给的钱。可谁知道他又要提什么条件？要是他哪天有心有肺了，又想起失去自己唯一的孙女，那她宁肯不给他任何借口接近。

薇洛明白，警长似乎并不愿意给巴特当信差，他急着要走，但她觉得他会再等几分钟。她迅速冲进厨房，切了些苹果、切达奶酪，用袋子装好做零食。她拿了给库珀做的三明治，再给莉莉拿了些全麦饼干和奶酪条——可以当作晚饭在车上吃点。这下，远离毁了她生活的人，薇洛可以更细细地想想。除非途经卡里索斯普林斯的格雷杭德巴士改变了线路，他们有充裕的时间，赶上去圣安东尼奥的车。她记得这条线路，那次泰特喝得烂醉如泥。

薇洛想过给库珀留个字条，可转念一想，巴特准会把她留下的东西毁掉。她不用怀疑，他准会想方设法给库珀制造麻烦。就这么行色匆匆地走了，会留下诸多问题；可是，她有什么理由争取留下呢，她又想起了库珀早上与红发女人的艳遇。

警官理查兹耐心地在门廊等着。他帮着薇洛提着行李箱，“如果我是你，我会收好那个驱逐令。”他咳了一声，“这样你就完全可以决定为你女儿主张部分财产。”他补充道，语气平静。

薇洛轻擦了一下眼睛。她决心有泪不轻弹，嘟囔道，“谢谢你。”再看看折叠的公文还在后兜里。可是她有几分胜算的把握，去跟像巴特这样有实力的人打官司？他有钱请得起一群收费昂贵的律师。

警官把她的行李包塞在前排乘客座位上，又帮她和莉莉上了后座，“抱歉有个隔栏，”他说，“但按规定，任何人坐我运送的人只能做后座，”他说。

她扣上安全带，尽可能靠后坐着。“这确实让我感觉自己像个犯人，正被送往监狱。”她说。

警官的眼睛看着后视镜，“啊，等等，”他说，“沃克先生要我们停车。莫非他回心转意了。”

巴特从山冈朝车走来，喘着粗气，他探身到警官摇下的窗户，对薇洛说，“那套装备——那辆道奇皮卡，还有配套的拖马车——看起来太豪华昂贵，不是一个帮工买得起的。你发誓不是泰特买的？他说过他在赌桌上输得一干二净，可看了看这谷仓和牲口棚，再想想我这些年寄给你们的钱，我算不过这账。有点算不过。”“那不是泰特的。赤裸裸的实情是，你的儿子赌博输得倾家荡产。要不是我每次抢先一步，取了你的支票，今天你不会再有这个农场，我们三人早就揭不开锅了。泰特总是喝得烂醉，我就模仿他的签名，取出钱来，没等他把它花光之前，去支付各种花销。”“你钻法律的空子，还真厚颜无耻。你好像随时都要跟别的男人跑吧。女人不就那么点本事吗？”这个男人皮肉松弛的脸涨红了，“不要污蔑我的儿子。”

薇洛退却了，“警官，有什么理由——任何法律上的理由——要我站在这儿听他说这些？”“没理由。沃克，农场已经归你了。请离车远点。我在履行公务，送她们离开你的农场。”警长发动了他那辆老皇冠，让沃克把手拿开，再开车走了。“谢你啦，”薇洛倦怠地说，“把我雇的工人留下来，晚些时候还要去面对沃克，我真的感到很抱歉。他俩在北边就认识。在洪多附近，”她说，“实际上，沃克拥有的牛群是这儿的十倍。我倒觉得怪怪的，他干什么今儿才想起来要这块地。”

警长的手指在方向盘上敲打着，“我是位公职人员，我得依据法律公平对待每一位。我能说的是，或许为了你可爱的女儿，你应当主张权利。”“莉莉贝尔是泰特·沃克的孩子，”她强调说：“我从没想到这个还需要证实。”“这点我不怀疑。”警长说，看着后视镜里的那双眼睛。“谢谢你。你知不知道，去圣安东尼奥的巴士六点二十还在卡里索斯普林斯车站停吗？我的钱够买车票的话，我就去赶这趟车。”“隔一会儿我们就知道了。我当班时很少带现钱。如果二十块钱能帮你买到票的话，我就给你凑个数喽。”“你真是个好人。上次我看过，只要票价没大涨，我钱就够了。”她车票钱大概够了，可她担心的是，到了圣安东尼奥她又怎么办。她要是精打细算，还可以凑合在汽车旅馆过一夜。汽车旅馆不成的话，还有救世军临时收容所可以去。

薇洛想起欠库珀那么多，感到很愧疚。虽说早餐后他俩的关系风云突变，可事先没给他提个醒，她仍不愿留下库珀去面对巴特·沃克。不过库珀已经是个顶天立地的男人了，他能应对巴特。

望着窗外飞逝而过的景色，薇洛真不知道库珀将如何应对这局面，为她的农场掏腰包花钱——买油漆，购饲料，给牲口打疫苗，买吃的——结果不曾想让那个他像讨厌泰特一样厌恶的人来捡了个落地桃子。

想起库珀的温存抚慰，想起他们共享的夜晚，让她情不自已。管它是傻还是痴，她对库珀·德拉蒙德还是一往情深。“你要赶的车就停在站前。还有十五分钟才开车。我把车停下，你和你女儿可以下车买票。我给你提包。”“啊，警官。人们还真以为，我们是被赶出镇的。”薇洛做了个鬼脸，可当警官打开车门后，她还是下了车。“干吗管别人怎么想？”理查兹说道。“你和我知道是怎么回事。你到了目的地，哪里还会跟这些乘客再见面。”“没错。这镇上有些人说了我的闲话。你知道吗？我呢，有口难辩。这些闲言碎语引着我的老友到了我这农场。我这个样子就走了，其实我真正的遗憾是让他去对付——哎，我也是被迫无奈，对吧？”“谁说不是？”警官取下帽子，用手搔着头，他的这位乘客赶紧抱起孩子，冲向售票处。理查兹把包放在她脚边时，她还数那些皱巴巴的钞票。他见她的钱够买车票，还有点余钱，没跟她道别，祝她好运。“谢谢你搭我们这一程。”她跟他说，司机把她的口袋放到车下的行李厢。“随时为你效劳，”理查兹回应道，朝她和莉莉笑笑，然后开车走了。可等她们在车上安顿下来坐好了，她才想起，她该告诉他，要是库珀来找她，他应该告诉他她们的去向。

她想那得等到猴年马月。红发女人指不定就住在附近。虽然她只瞟了那位打扮时髦的女人几眼，她也看得出，她没给过库珀惹什么麻烦，相比起来，她和莉莉就麻烦太多了。他也许就此可以甩掉她和她的那些麻烦事，落个轻松自在。准是这样，他这整天都在牧场，琢磨如何了结他们的关系。

下车短暂休息的乘客又回到了车上。车开动了，夕阳西下，一道道红色、橙色的云层挂在满是灰尘的小镇上空。

Chapter Twelve

Cooper wound down a tough, hot but satisfying day of working with the colt. It was difficult to determine his precise age, but from his teeth, Coop thought perhaps he was closer to two than three. The mare, obviously his mother because they shared similar markings, had probably started life in a wild herd, been captured at some point and tamed, but she had broken free before an owner could put a brand on her. Like he'd told Willow, the horses might have drifted in from across the border. That the pair had migrated to Willow's land represented pure profit for her. Maybe he'd ask her to exclude them from a sale and keep them to begin a new herd at the Triple D—supposing he could convince her to go there with him.

The mare had bruised a hoof, causing her some lameness. The colt watched Coop warily as he tended the mare's injury. She let him get close, pick up her hoof and remove a large stone embedded beneath her swollen frog. The sharp rock had been painful. The horse acted almost grateful after Coop removed it. He fed her an apple he'd snagged from an old tree that grew on neighboring land. After she ate, the mare let Coop rub her neck and muzzle. "You're a good gal," he crooned. He had a way with horses, but it was clear that the mare had previous contact with humans.

Her colt liked apples, too, and came for his share. The pair had no doubt eaten all the low-hanging fruit. Coop's ability to climb the tree proved the biggest boon in paving the way to breaking the younger horse.

Over the course of the day Coop made up his mind to do his best to overcome any argument Willow could present for not going home with him. He'd speed up the process of gentling the mare and colt to saddle. Three days. That didn't mean he'd buck out their spirit, but it meant longer hours under the hot sun while he invested time in making friends, getting the younger horse used to human smells and used to the feel of a soft rope. The saddle could come later. They could rent a double horse trailer to pull behind Willow's pickup.

By the time the sun slipped low in the west, Coop was fried to a crisp, but he was satisfied with his progress. It felt damn fine to be doing what he loved best—working with horses. They had a lot more natural intelligence than cattle. A man could spend the same long backbreaking hours raising steers only to have them turned into steak or hamburger. Not that he was averse to red meat. But if he busted his butt breeding and raising beautiful beasts like horses, that ensured a new owner could look forward to years of pleasure.

He broke open feed sacks he'd hauled up here over the weekend and filled the cattle troughs. Coop eyed the herd as they crowded close to feed. He checked for any potential problems from either the vaccinations or from the branding he'd done. The cattle looked great. Within a week Willow could arrange for trucks to take them to the feedlot he'd negotiated with—who'd agreed to buy the whole herd. With no more cows to worry about, Willow could leave with him and let the house and property remain in the hands of a Realtor. Coop remembered her saying that she planned to cancel the sell order today. But, maybe she could list with a new Realtor—one willing to work harder for her than the current agency.

Done with the cattle, and having formulated how to lay out his proposed ideas to Willow, Coop coiled his rope and clipped it to his saddle, which he boosted onto Rusty's back. He tightened the cinch. "You old son of a gun, you've had a lazy day in the shade, chowing down on sweet grass. I'm so hungry my stomach is gnawing at my backbone. I hope Willow has supper cooked by the time I get you stabled. Phew, I smell too rank to sit down to supper with ladies. I'll need a shower first," he muttered.

Gathering the reins in one hand, he climbed upon Rusty. "'Course I could go take a dip in the pond. And I guess I could've gone back down to the apple tree to get another one." He glanced at the mare and her offspring. "Think I'll call her Ginger, because she's kind of a buckskin color."

He touched his heels to his horse, seeing no reason to linger now that he knew how to tell Willow what had happened during his sister-in-law's surprise visit. Blythe's generous check still crackled in Coop's shirt pocket. He planned to return it to his sister-in-law.

Cresting the hill that sloped down to the ranch, he stroked Rusty's neck. "I'll let Willow name the colt."

Although she might think that was silly if she'd prefer to sell the pair. There were still a lot of variables.

Even though the day was waning he could see all the way to the ranch. A blur on the road caught his eye. It was a local sheriff's car moving slowly toward town, then gathering speed. Coop followed the car's progress until it topped the hill.

He urged Rusty into a trot, not daring to go any faster for fear that the gelding might step in a gopher hole.

In spite of maintaining a steady grip on their pace, Coop couldn't ward off a shadowy premonition that sneaked in. He told himself the sheriff had only driven past the ranch. A cop car out this way didn't necessarily mean trouble. But Coop was unable to keep from remembering the day another county sheriff had tracked him down at school and broken the news that his father had dropped dead of a massive heart attack. That had been one of the worst days in his life. The appearance of a cop car could still make his guts churn.

It wasn't until he reached a spot between the house and the barn, then saw his pickup and trailer, that he relaxed a bit. Or he did until Rusty trotted around the corner and Coop faced a dark maroon SUV with heavily tinted windows. He'd seen that vehicle before. At first he couldn't place where, then it dawned on him as he swung out of the saddle. It was either the same one or a twin to the SUV he'd told Willow might be a prospective buyer for her ranch.

This could be good; it might let Willow strike a deal on the ranch, which would free her to go with him to the Triple D, leaving no loose ends. Setting aside his earlier concerns about his sweat-stained clothes, Coop looped Rusty's reins over the newly painted porch newel post and bounded up the steps to the house. He mentally crossed his fingers that the SUV owner was inside making Willow a deal she couldn't refuse.

A second later, with his hand raised to knock, Coop would be hard-pressed to say who was the most shocked, he or the man rounding the house. A man he hadn't laid eyes on in over five years and didn't care if he ever saw again.

Bart Walker. What was going on?

"You!" Walker exclaimed. "What are you doing here, Mr. Big Shot Rodeo Cham... peen?"

Coop's stomach pitched. So the SUV didn't belong to a potential buyer for the ranch. It belonged to Tate's father.

The elder Walker's sarcasm, while no surprise to Cooper, didn't bode well for Willow. But it could just be the fact that the animosity between Walkers and Drummonds had deep roots. For Willow's sake, Coop elected to play it cooler than he would have if he'd been on his own.

"Paying a social visit to your daughter-in-law, are you, Bart?" Coop drawled.

"I asked you a question, Drummond."

Coop didn't like the pugnacious set of the older man's jaw. But again he decided to be circumspect. "Willow hired me to do some chores around the ranch."

Walker guffawed. "So that's your fancy-ass color-coordinated rig over there? I knew it was too top-of the-line to belong to some part-time drifter like she claimed."

Coop's uneasiness returned in a rush. He descended the steps, but as he cast a worried glance back at the house, he realized the lights were off and the door closed tight. "Where's Willow?"

"Gone." Bart Walker pulled out a chunky cigar, set one booted foot on the lower step, then struck a match on his heel. He applied flame to the tip of his cigar until it glowed red.

"Can you be more specific? Where did she go?" In the fast-creeping darkness, Coop met the man's glittering dark eyes through the hissing flame of the match and the choking smoke rings he puffed out. "And how?" Coop continued, waving away the smoke. "Her pickup's still parked next to the shed."

Bart snuffed out the flame, plunging them into humid darkness. "The ranch looks better than I remember. Must be your doin'. But don't expect any thanks from me, hotshot—or any payment if she still owes you."

"Why would I expect anything from you? My contract is with Willow."

"I'll just bet it is." Bart's laugh fueled a wave of anger that escalated to fury at the man's next comment. "Doesn't matter what kind of deal you had with my son's widow, boyo. I own this ranch and everything on it—lock, stock and barrel. Tate had a run of bad luck with a long drought and all. He mortgaged the place back to me. I thought his missus would make a stink over having to leave. But the sheriff was good enough to follow me out here to escort her off my property all legal like. Guess she saw fussing was pointless. Not that I owe you any explanation, but Willow and her kid rode into town with Sheriff Richards. Don't know what her plans are and I don't care. She was no kind of wife to Tate. Typical of a woman—she sucked my boy dry. You think he didn't tell me how high-maintenance she was? He told me all right. That and a lot more."

Cooper teetered on the edge of calling Bart a liar. He itched to wipe the smarmy sneer off the man's pudgy face. But an urgency to go and find Willow and Lily superceded his desire to flatten Bart. "I've got another horse and some personal belongings in the barn where I've been staying," Coop said, stressing the word. Untethering Rusty, he whirled, grinding his teeth so hard he thought his jaw might break.

"That's a surprise, you bunking in the barn! Here I figured the only reason you'd be down here instead of with your arrogant brother is for what you were gettin' on the side." The older man fell in step with Coop.

"Shut up. Just shut the hell up!" Coop opened the trailer and stripped the gelding of his saddle and bridle. Bending, he hooked the trailer to the hitch on the Ram, pulled down the ramp, then led his horse inside.

Walker spoke around his cigar. "I'll go along and check the brand on the other horse. Just to verify that you don't take more than what you own."

Incensed, Coop stalked to the barn. He haphazardly tossed clothes and shaving gear into his duffel. Slinging the bag and his guitar case over his shoulder, he backed Legend from the stall and wished his horse would kick Bart, who was indeed circling the animal to check his brand. It was all Coop could do to control his temper.

Back at his trailer, he loaded Legend, dug out his keys and unlocked the pickup door. He stowed his duffel behind the seat, tossed in his guitar, then climbed into the cab. Jabbing the key in the ignition, he glared at Bart, who stood there puffing out noxious fumes. "All I can say is I hope you rot somewhere hot for cheating your grandchild out of an inheritance that would provide her with special schooling and the other care she needs."

The pickup's headlights revealed that Bart's face had reddened in discomfort, which pleased Coop no end.

"Bah! Tate wasn't sure the kid was even his. There's no proof."

"Oh, she's Tate's daughter. A DNA test could prove it easily enough. But it's good thing you don't want to claim her," he spat. "That way you won't cause any trouble when I marry Willow and adopt Lilybelle. Because... I'll be damned proud to make that beautiful child a Drummond." Coop slammed his door, cutting off any reply the other man might have sputtered. He cranked the steering wheel hard to the left and saw Bart leap aside as the Ram's oversize tires spit gravel. It gave Coop a small measure of satisfaction.

He checked both ways at the road before pulling out. The minute his pickup and trailer were firmly on the county blacktop, Coop flushed Bart Walker from his mind. His concerns went straight to Willow. She must be sick with worry over losing the ranch, over losing a herd she'd scrimped to raise. Did she have any money? Where would she go? She'd hinted that she didn't have friends in Carrizo Springs. So why hadn't she come out to the field to find him? Had the sheriff bullied her? Or did she still not fully trust him?

Mostly Coop tried to stick to the speed limit. A time or two the speedometer crept upward. He didn't want to shake up his horses, but he wanted to get there as quickly as possible and locate Willow. But where to look? Where might she go?

As the miles slipped past, his anger began to fade. The whole Walker clan had cheated and lied their way through life. Tate had paid the ultimate price. His much older brother, Morris, had been in and out of jail his entire life. Coop had read in the paper a few years ago that Morris was serving time in Huntsville on a burglary- assault charge. Staying mad at such a pathetic group was a waste of energy.

As his temper cooled, two things that had been on his mind prior to his run-in with Bart rose up to bother him again. Both became overwhelming when he started passing signs advertising a full-service truck stop up ahead. First, he still smelled like horse and sweat and leather. Secondly, he'd only eaten half an apple since breakfast and he'd worked hard all day under a blistering sun. Lack of food was making his head spin.

Coop didn't want to face Willow in this shape. She probably wouldn't want him to console her if he smelled like a stable. And Lily, who was extra-sensitive to odors and textures—well, why put her to a test?

Carrizo Springs wasn't so big that one woman and a child could totally disappear. What galled him was that she'd done nothing wrong. Willow and her daughter were victims. Coop reasoned the sheriff would have the resources to find her a place to stay for the night. In small towns, churches often provided for anyone down on their luck. Convincing himself that a detour through the truck stop to spruce up could only leave him in better shape to rescue Willow, Coop slowed down and pulled off at the exit. He grabbed clean clothes and shaving gear out of his duffel, booked a shower stall and ordered a double hamburger to go. It would be hot and waiting for him when he emerged.

He'd forgotten about Blythe's check until he took off his shirt. He hadn't intended to use any of his sister-in-law's money. It was too late today to bank it, anyway, but knowing he could put it in his checking account in the morning gave him some comfort. If necessary he could use it to help Willow hire a lawyer to fight Bart. Although, Willow would balk at taking charity. Coop knew that as surely as he knew his own name. He just hoped she'd be okay with him paying any bills she might have incurred through no fault of her own.

Feeling much better, he came out of the shower with a more positive outlook. He paid for his burger, then took it and his rolled-up dirty clothes back to the pickup. Coop polished off the food during the few remaining miles into town. The waitress at the truck stop had told him how to reach city hall, which housed the sheriff's office and the local jail. She verified that on a Friday there'd be a deputy on duty all night.

Coop's problem wasn't locating city hall, but finding a place to park his oversize pickup and trailer. Businesses were closed, but there were bars at both ends of the street and they were hopping. He finally found a spot a block away. The evening was warm; it would've been a pleasant stroll except that no cowboy liked to walk on concrete in boots made for riding.

His first real piece of luck came when he discovered Sheriff Richards himself at his office desk filling out paperwork. "My name is Cooper Drummond," he told the sheriff. "I'm an old friend of Willow Walker's. In fact, I've been helping out at her ranch for several weeks. I came in from her north forty after putting in a full day's work—to learn that Bart Walker's laid claim to her ranch and everything on it. He said you brought Willow and her daughter to town."

The sheriff rocked back in his chair and looked Coop up and down. "Would you be the national bronc-riding champion Cooper Drummond?" the man asked, reaching for and tearing open a packet containing a cinnamon-flavored toothpick. He stuck it between his teeth and the spicy aroma filled the air.

Coop frowned. "I am, but that has nothing to do with why I'm here. Do you know where Willow and Lily are?"

"Well, now, something she said that made no sense to me earlier makes sense now. You'd be the person out of her past she felt bad about leaving behind to deal with Walker."

"Huh?" Coop grew anxious again. All he really wanted was to track down Willow. "Leave behind? Where did she go? How?"

Snapping forward in his chair, the sheriff continued to study Coop, then gave a sad shake of his head. "I hate to tell you, son, but you're too late to hook up with Mrs. Walker and her girl. I dropped them off at the Greyhound bus stop, and they boarded the seven-twenty bound for San Antonio."

Coop slammed one fist into the palm of his other hand. "Are you sure about that? Not that I'm accusing you of lying," he added hastily. He grabbed his Stetson off the desk where he'd set it when he came in and bolted for the door. "I've got to run her down before she gets to the city or I'll never locate her."

The sheriff followed him out. "Frankly, I hope you catch her. I'm sorry I had to evict her. Her husband caused plenty of trouble in town. He couldn't hold his liquor, and he was a mean drunk. Seems to me he was cut from the same cloth as his pa. Don't know if you're aware of it, but Bart Walker spent about a week here talking to oilmen and plotting his dirty work with the bank before he called on me. In my position, being elected to serve all area taxpayers, my only avenue was to tell him I don't cotton to ill treatment of women and children. That's not the code of the West. But he left me no choice."

Coop slowed his pace. "Are you saying there's oil on Willow's ranch?"

The man took out the toothpick and put it in his pocket. "I'm saying Walker thinks there's oil. Somehow he heard that her neighbor to the east had drilled and brought in a gusher."

"That explains Bart's sudden interest in claiming the ranch. Jeez, I hate it when bastards like that walk off with a sweet deal."

"Maybe Mrs. Walker should bide her time. There's not a lot of honor among oilmen. Frank Krebs, the rancher who struck oil—his well went dry yesterday, I hear. It was a shallow pocket, and he's out a bundle of cash on the cost to drill. Walker might just lose his shirt."

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy," Coop said. "Although it'll be too late to help Willow. Thanks for the information. I'll pass it along to her. Say, can you tell me if the bus she took stops anywhere along the route to San Antone?"

"Uvalde, I think. But you're too far behind to catch up. Once you find her and the girl, best you can do is talk Mrs. Walker into counterfiling against Bart Walker, asking for funds from the sale of the cattle to go into trust for the child. I mentioned it, but I'm not sure she understood that she probably has a case on behalf of her daughter."

"Thanks again. I'm pretty familiar with the back roads that crisscross Texas. Traveling to rodeos, I hit most of 'em at one time or another. I know a shortcut up from Batesville. Even pulling a trailer with two horses, I figure at night there won't be much traffic. Those buses go slower and have to stop at railroad and cattle crossings. With luck I may be able to intercept her in Uvalde."

"Good luck," the sheriff called, because Coop had already taken off at a lope. This time he paid no heed to running on sidewalks in his slant-heeled boots.

Out of town once again, he stepped on the gas. Everything went his way for ten miles. Suddenly, up ahead, Coop saw lights begin to flash at a railroad crossing. The arms came down moments before he got there.

He cursed under his breath. It was nine o'clock, and Richards said Willow's bus was supposed to leave at seven-twenty. But sometimes buses waited for stragglers, especially in these small towns.

Damn, it was a loaded cattle train. Because there was nothing he could do except wait for it to pass, he plugged his cell phone into the pickup's Bluetooth and punched in his brother's number. "Sully, it's me, Coop. Don't rag on me if you've picked up on your end. Please, just listen. Your favorite neighbor, Bart Walker, came down here and had Willow and her daughter thrown off their ranch. He claims to own it. But... we can save those particulars for another day. The upshot is, Willow took off on a bus, and I got down from the upper field too late to stop her. I'm trying to head her off, but right now I'm stuck at a railroad crossing. If I find her, I plan to convince her to come home with me to the Triple D. I intend to marry her, Sullivan."

Coop heard Sullivan cough. He raised his voice to drown out what would almost certainly be his brother's objections. "Pay attention, Sully. It's taken me far too long, but I figured out I never stopped loving Willow. If she'll marry me, I also want to adopt her daughter. Here's how it is. You hire someone to ready the home place for us and I'll work with you at the Triple D. Or you and I can hammer out a payment plan so you can buy out my share of the ranch. Hey, the train's passed. I've gotta go. You think about my offer, Sully. Talk it over with Blythe. I'll call tomorrow for your answer." Coop clicked off to silence as he ended his call. Gunning the engine, he bumped across the tracks, wanting to believe the Drummond blood that ran through their veins would move his brother to overlook old transgressions, real or perceived.

He glanced up at a yellow moon, and listened to the bleat of his phone. Obviously Sully wanted to have his say. Maybe he shouldn't have come on so strong, Coop thought, grimacing. Perhaps he should've taken more blame for their falling out. He pressed down a key to shut off his phone. First things first. Find Willow and convince her of his sincerity—and then butter up Sullivan.

第十二章

库珀驯服马驹的活总算完了。这活虽很辛苦，但干得满意痛快。马驹的年龄难以确定，不过从牙齿判断，更接近两岁，而不是三岁。这匹母马显然是它的妈妈，因为它俩的体貌特征太像了。或许它俩最初生活在野马群中，后被捕获受训，可主人还没来得及给它们烙印，它俩就溜之大吉了。他还跟薇洛说过，这些马可能是从边境游离过来的。这两匹马跑到薇洛的农场，就是她的纯收益。指不定他还会叫她不要卖掉，留下它们，可以在德拉蒙德三人农场繁衍新的牧群——要是他能说服她一道去德拉蒙德三人农场的话。

母马的马蹄受了伤，走路有点瘸。他给母马治理伤口，马驹神色警惕地看着他。母马让他接近它，抬起它的蹄子，他发现有一块大石子卡在肿大的蹄子里。他给它取了出来。这块石子棱角锋利，让它受了不少苦。库珀取了石子后，母马似乎心怀感激。他从旁边的一棵老苹果树摘下个苹果，喂给它吃。它吃完了，让库珀抚摸她的脖子和鼻嘴。“真是个乖女孩儿。”他低声哼道。他对驯马很有一套，很明显这母马以前接触过人。

小马驹也喜欢吃苹果，溜过来要吃的。这两匹马把树上低矮枝丫上的果实都吃光了。库珀爬树的本领倒成了他的最大优势，为驯服马驹铺平了道路。

这一整天，库珀拿定主意，一定要说服薇洛跟他回家。他要加快驯服的速度，给它们带上马鞍。就三天。这不是说要把它们的那股子野性给灭掉，而是在烈日下消磨更多的时间，跟它们交朋友，让小马驹熟悉人的体味，习惯软绳的感觉。之后才是套马鞍。他们可以租个拖车，把它们拖在薇洛皮卡的后面。

太阳已悄悄地溜到了西边，库珀身上已晒脱了一层皮，但他很满意自己驯马的进度。干自己最顺手的驯马，真是爽死了。马的智商比牛高多了。一个养牛的，累死累活，花上同样的工夫，到头不过是有牛排、汉堡包吃。他倒不是讨厌吃红肉。可他要是费心尽力去繁殖饲养那些美丽的动物，比方说马，它们可以给新主人带来多年的快乐。

他打开周末时拖过来的饲料袋，拿了些饲料放进喂牛的食槽。牛群围过来吃饲料，库珀看着它们，查看它们在疫苗、烙印之后有没有出现什么毛病。牛群膘肥体壮。一周之内，薇洛就可以安排卡车把它们拖往围栏，这事他已经商谈过了，对方答应买下全部牛群。薇洛不饲养奶牛，没什么分心的事，可以和他离开农场，房子、农场就留给经纪人去处理。库珀记起她今天说过，要取消买卖约定。那也许是她要换家新的经纪人，换一家比目前这家办事更得力的。

库珀给牛群喂好了饲料，心里已合计好了怎么跟薇洛去谈自己的想法，他挽好了绳索，挂在“拉斯特”的马鞍上。他拴紧肚带，“你这家伙，在这树阴下凉快了一天，嚼着嫩草。我是饿得肚皮贴到脊梁骨了。我盼着，等我把你拴到马厩，薇洛已经把饭做好了。哎，我都闻得到自己身上这股臭味了，哪儿好意思和女士坐下一块用餐，我得先洗洗。”他嘟囔道。

他一手握着缰绳，翻身上马，“我何不去水池洗个澡，还可以去苹果树那儿再摘个苹果。”他望了眼母马和她的小马驹，“我可以叫它小姜，因为它是鹿皮色的马。”

他一点马镫，觉得没理由再犹豫了，他知道怎么告诉薇洛他嫂子突然来访所发生的一切。布莱思那张慷慨的支票还在库珀的衬衫兜里活蹦乱跳呢。他打算把支票还给她。

库珀爬上了农场山坡的高处，再顺势而下，他抚摸着“拉斯特”的脖子，“我要让薇洛给马驹取个名。”

如果她想卖掉这两匹马，她也许会觉得那样太傻呢。事情还真有诸多变数。

天色逐渐黯淡了，但他还能看清回农场的路。路上有个什么东西，一下抓住了他的视线。一辆地方警官的车正慢慢开往镇上，渐渐越开越快。库珀的视线跟随着车辆，一直到它翻过山顶。

他打马扬鞭，一溜烟跑起来，但不敢跑太快，路上有小坑，他怕马失蹄。

虽说马的步伐稳健，可库珀还是有种不祥的预感挥之不去。他告诉自己，警官不过是路过而已。警察的出现并非一定就意味着有什么麻烦。可库珀还是忘不掉那天有一位警官在学校找到他，告诉了他那不幸的消息，他父亲恶性心脏病病发，当场死亡。那是他人生中最黑暗的日子。他看到警车露面，心里总觉得不踏实。

他一直到了房子和仓库间，看到自己的皮卡和拖车在那儿，才稍稍心安。或者说是“拉斯特”转过角落时，他看见一辆褐色的皮卡，窗户被烟熏得黑黑的。他以前见过这辆车。一开始他想不起在哪儿。翻身下马时，他好像想起来了。它要么是同一辆车，要么是同一款皮卡的另一辆。前几天他还告诉过薇洛，车上坐的或许是个买主。

这倒不失为一件好事；这样薇洛就可以买卖成交，无牵无挂、踏踏实实地跟他去德拉蒙德三人农场了。原本担心自己一身的汗味，现在他也不管不顾了，库珀把“拉斯特”拴在新漆的桩上，快步上了台阶。他心里在为薇洛祈祷，祈祷皮卡的主人一定在屋里开出了个好价钱，让薇洛无法拒绝。

过了不到一秒钟，库珀刚要举手敲门的时候，他难以说清，到底是他自己惊呆了，还是那绕房而行的人惊呆了。此人库珀五年前就没见过面，而且以后见不见面，他根本无所谓。

巴特·沃克。这到底出什么事了？“原来是你！”沃克惊叫道，“你在此地有何贵干，我们的大腕明星、野马竞技赛冠军先生？”

库珀的心猛地一沉。原来皮卡不是什么买主的，是泰特父亲的。

对老沃克的挖苦嘲弄，库珀并不觉得意外，可这对薇洛却不是什么好兆头。沃克家族和德拉蒙德家族的恩恩怨怨由来已久。但为了薇洛，他还是克制住了自己。“你也来看看你的儿媳妇啊，巴特？”库珀拖长了嗓门。“我问了你问题，德拉蒙德。”

库珀讨厌这位老者那副争强好胜的嘴脸，可又一次他决定不跟他硬碰硬，“薇洛雇用我，在这儿干点活。”

沃克哈哈大笑，“那套时髦的玩意就是你的喽？我明白，这东西这么时髦漂亮，不会像她说的，是一个打工仔买得起的。”

库珀越发感觉不安。他下了台阶，回头担心地看了一下房子，灯灭了，门紧闭着，“薇洛去哪儿了？”“走了。”巴特·沃克掏出一只大大的雪茄，一直穿着靴子的脚蹬在低一级的台阶，在脚后跟上划燃一根火柴，点着了雪茄。“能说得详细点吗？她去哪儿了？”天色越来越黑了，借着火柴嘶嘶的火苗声，透过他吐出的呛人的烟雾，库珀与那人冒着邪气的眼光不期而遇，“怎么走的？”库珀继续道，挥手赶着烟雾，“她的皮卡还停在牲口棚旁边呢。”

巴特灭了雪茄，四周漆黑一片，“农场比我记忆中的好多了。准是你辛苦喽。不过，别指望我会感谢你，一个自命不凡的家伙——别指望我会付给你她拖欠的工钱。”“我干什么要指望你？我的签约方是薇洛。”“我看也是。”巴特的笑声让人愤愤然，而他接下来的话则让人怒火中烧，“别在我跟前提你和我儿子的寡妇之间的那档子交易，伙计。我现在是这农场的主人，这儿所有——一切的一切归我了。泰特时运不佳，遇上天旱。他把这农场抵押给我了。我猜他那老婆会搬弄是非，说我逼走了她。但警官是个好人，他跟我过来，带着她离开了我的农场。一切依法办事。我想，她觉得胡搅蛮缠也落不到什么好。这倒不是我欠你个什么解释，而是薇洛和她的小孩随警官理查兹到镇上去了。我不知道她有什么计划安排，也不关我的事。她算我儿子的哪门子老婆呢。纯粹就是那种娘们——把我儿子的钱财榨光吸光。你以为我儿子没告诉我，她的手腕有多高吧。他告诉我了，还有好多别的事。

库珀差点冲口而出，叫他撒谎的家伙。他的手指痒痒，恨不能给那家伙胖乎乎的脸一记耳光，打掉他那虚情假意、挖苦嘲讽的神气。可他眼下懒得修理巴特，他还得急着去找薇洛和莉莉。“我还有匹马，我一直住在谷仓里，我在那儿还有些私人物件，”库珀说，特别强调“谷仓”两个字。库珀解开“拉斯特”的缰绳，转过身，牙齿咬得咯咯响，感觉自己的下巴都要破裂了。“那倒让人颇感意外了，你在谷仓打地铺！我想，你没跟你那目中无人的老兄在一起，唯一的原因不就是你们偷偷摸摸行苟且之事嘛。”这个老家伙和库珀走到了一块儿。“闭嘴！闭上你的臭嘴！”库珀打开拖车，取下马鞍和笼头。他弯腰把拖车挂在道奇皮卡后，拉下斜面，把马牵了进去。

沃克一边手挥着雪茄，一边叨叨着，“我要去那边，看看那匹马的烙印。我就是要看你有没有多拿多占。”

库珀怒不可遏，大步走向谷物仓。他随意把衣服和刮胡子的刀具丢进行李包。把行李包、吉他往肩上一挎，他把“传奇”牵出马厩，暗暗希望他的马踢巴特一脚。沃克还真的在围着马转悠，查看烙印。库珀也只有以此控制自己的怒火。

他回到拖车，把“传奇”装上车，拿出钥匙，锁上皮卡车门。他把行李包扔到车后座，把吉他丢进去，进了驾驶座。将钥匙插进点火开关，他怒视着巴特，这人还站那儿，口吐毒烟。“我能跟你说的就是，你会不得好死。你骗走了你孙女应得的那份遗产，她本可以上得起特殊学校，接受别的治疗。”

皮卡的前灯照着巴特气得涨红的脸，这让库珀感到痛快之极。“呸！泰特都弄不清孩子是不是他的。口说无凭。”“啊，她就是泰特的女儿。做一下亲子鉴定就很容易知道了。你不认领她也不失为一件幸事，”他了吐口唾沫，“等我娶了薇洛，收养了莉莉贝尔，你就不会带来什么麻烦了。因为……我还真顶自豪，有这么漂亮的孩子跟德拉蒙德姓。”库珀砰地关上门，懒得跟他废话。他猛地把方向盘往左打，超大号的轮胎泥浆四溅，巴特赶紧往旁边一跳。这也让库珀感到一丝快意。

在进入主道前，他左右看了看。他的皮卡车和拖车一上了县级沥青公路，他就把巴特·沃克丢到了九霄云外。他担心的是薇洛。她失去了农场，丢了自己省吃俭用饲养大的牲口，一定难过万分。她身上带钱了吗？她去哪儿了？她说过，她在卡里索斯普林斯没朋友。可她为何不来地里找他？警官会不会欺负她？还是她并没有完全信任他？

库珀把车速跑到限速的上线，偶尔速度计还显示超速。他不想让自己的马颠簸得太厉害，但他想尽快赶到那里，找到薇洛。但到哪儿去找呢？她会去哪儿呢？

车子开了一程又一程，他的怒气渐消。整个沃克家族一辈子都坑蒙拐骗的。泰特已经为此付出了最为沉重的代价。泰特的哥哥，莫里斯，一辈子都在监狱进进出出。几年前库珀在报纸上看到，莫里斯因一起入室抢劫案在亨茨维尔服刑。跟这帮可怜虫置气，简直是浪费自己的时间。

他的脾气渐渐缓和了，在他跟巴特正面遭遇之前，挂在心头的两件事又冒了出来。当他看到路边广告牌说，前面有提供全方位服务的卡车站，这两件事都显得事关重大。一是，他还是满身的马味、汗味和皮革味。二是，他早餐就吃了半个苹果，在火辣辣的太阳底下劳累了一天，到现在没吃什么东西，他已经饿得有点头晕。

库珀不想这样狼狈地去见薇洛，要是他浑身一股马味，她多半不要他去抚慰她。还有莉莉，对气味和材质尤其敏感——对了，干什么不就此试一试她呢？

卡里索斯普林斯地方不大，一个女人加个小孩不可能在此完全消失。让他痛心的是，她是无辜的。薇洛和她女儿是受害者。库珀推测，警官会有办法给她找个地方住一晚。在小镇上，教堂常常为那些时运不济之人提供帮助。他说服自己先绕道去卡车站洗漱一下，能以更好的状态去救薇洛。库珀减缓车速，把车停在了出口处。他抓起衣服、剃须刀，预定了个冲凉室，定了两个汉堡包。等他冲凉完了出来，汉堡包还是热腾腾地等着他。

他脱下衬衫时，才想起布莱思的支票。他本不打算花他嫂子的一分钱。今天太晚了，没法去银行兑现，想到明天一早就可以将支票的钱转入自己的账户，他心里多少觉得好受点。如果需要，他可以用这钱帮薇洛请个律师，跟巴特对簿公堂。尽管薇洛可能并不想接受施舍。库珀当然知道她会那样了，他只希望她别太介意他为她花的那些钱，并不是因为她的错才导致她需要用钱。

他走出冲凉室，感觉身体爽快，心情愉悦。他付了买汉堡包的钱，拿着汉堡包和一包脏衣服，回到了皮卡车。到镇上还有不到几里地，库珀把买的食品一阵狼吞虎咽。卡车站的女招待告诉他如何去市政厅，那儿有警官的办公室和地方监狱。她还肯定，周五晚一定有副职通宵值班。

库珀的问题不是找不到市政厅，而是找个地方停放他那超大型的皮卡和拖车。店铺都打烊了，但在街道的尽头，有两家酒吧，生意还好着呢。他总算在一街区之隔的地方停了车。夜晚暖烘烘的；溜达溜达原本是很惬意的事，不过牛仔们不会穿着骑马的靴子在水泥地上踱步。

他的第一桩好运到了，因为他找到了理查兹警官，他正在办公室填写文件。“我叫库珀·德拉蒙德，”他告诉警官，“我是薇洛·沃克的老朋友。实际上，我这几周在农场帮她干活。我在那儿干了一天的活，刚从牧场过来，却听巴特·沃克宣布农场及其所属的一切财物都归他。他说你把薇洛和她女儿带到镇上了。”

警长身子往后一靠，上下打量着库珀。“你莫非就是全国野马竞技赛冠军库珀·德拉蒙德？”这人问道，伸手拿了个小包，将其撕开，里面装的是肉桂味的牙签。他取了根牙签，卡在牙齿之间，满屋都是那股牙签味。

库珀皱了皱眉，“是我，不过与我现在站在这里没什么关系。你知道薇洛和莉莉在哪儿吗？”“啊，这样的话，她先前说的话让我糊里糊涂，这下我算听明白了。你就是和她有旧情的人。她感到难过，把你留了下来对付沃克。”“哼？”库珀神色焦虑，他就是想找到薇洛，“留下来？她去哪儿了？怎么去的？”

警官猛地往前一欠身，继续打量着库珀，接着难过地摇摇头，“小伙子，我不愿与跟你说，你是追不上沃克太太和她闺女了。我把她们送到了灰狗长途巴士车站，她们坐七点二十的车去圣安东尼奥了。”

库珀的拳头啪的一声击在自己的手掌上，“你确定吗？我当然不是说你在扯谎。”他赶紧补充道。他一把抓起进门时放在桌上的斯泰森毡帽，冲向门口，“我还得追上她，赶在她进城前，不然我就再也找不着她了。”

警官跟着他到了门口，“说真的，我但愿你追上她。很抱歉，我不得不把她带离农场。她老公生前在镇上惹是生非。他酒精上瘾，还是个行事卑鄙的酒鬼。依我看，是有其父必有其子。不知道你清不清楚，巴特·沃克在镇上呆了一周，跟石油商合计，跟银行密谋他见不得人的勾当，之后他再来找的我。我是职责所在，为所有纳税人服务。我别无他法，只是告诉他，我不欺负妇女和小孩。这不是什么西部牛仔规则。可他让我别无选择。”

库珀放慢了脚步，“你是说薇洛的农场有石油？”

这人抽取牙签，再搁在兜里，“我是说沃克认为那儿有石油。反正他听说，靠她东边的那家农场主钻了油井，打出了油。”“难怪他突然对农场有兴趣，要收回去了。真是的，像他这样的无赖，轻轻松松就赚大钱，真让我憋得慌。”“或许沃克太太还得等待时机。石油商他们是认钱不认人的。弗兰克·克雷布斯——他的农场出了油，我听说，昨天井就不出油了，是个浅层油矿，可他大把大把的票子已经花出去了。沃克指不定也会弄个倾家荡产。”“但愿老天有眼，”库珀说道，“虽说一切都晚了，帮不上薇洛了，可还得谢谢你，跟我讲了这么多。我会把这些情况跟她说的，顺便问下，你知道去圣安东尼奥的车沿途会在哪儿停车吗？”“尤瓦尔迪，我估摸。可你落下太远了，追不上了吧。你一旦找到她和孩子，最好能说服她，对巴特·沃克提起反诉，要求对方从卖牲口的收入中支付小孩的抚养费，并由自己代管。我跟她提了一下，但不肯定她明白了没有，她也许为了女儿得打场官司。”“再次感谢。我对得州那些小道岔路熟得很，跑竞技赛那会儿，几乎跑遍了。我知道在贝茨维尔附近有个近道。虽说我还拖了有两匹马的拖车，可夜里车辆稀少。巴士车走得慢些，在铁路公路的交叉带、遇上牲口，还得停下。要是幸运，我在尤瓦尔迪就能截住她们。”“祝你好运。”警官叫道，因为库珀已经一路慢跑起来了。这次他穿的是斜跟靴子，不怕在人行道上跑。

他又出城了，一踩油门，车子加速前进。突然，就在前方，库珀看见铁路交叉处灯光闪烁。可就在他车开到时，栏杆放下来了。

他轻轻地骂了一声。现在九点了，理查兹说薇洛的车七点二十出发的。可有时巴士要等那些啰啰唆唆的乘客，尤其是在这些小镇上。

真是活见鬼，是辆载牛的火车。他除了等火车过去，还能有什么办法。他把手机插进皮卡的蓝牙，敲了他哥的电话号码。“萨利，是我，库珀。我要有什么不对的地方，不要责骂我，请你听我把话说完。你的好邻居，巴特·沃克，过来把薇洛和她女儿赶出了农场。他说农场是他的。但是……那些事我们改天再说好吗。现在的结果是，薇洛坐巴士车走了。等我从牧场回来，她已经走了。我在尽力追赶，可眼下我被困在铁路交叉口了。要是我找着她，我打算说服她，跟我回家，回德拉蒙德三人农场。我要娶她，沙利文。”

库珀听到他哥的咳嗽声。他提高嗓门，压住他哥反对的声音，肯定是反对声，“可是，萨利。虽然是很久前的事了，可我发现我一直都爱着薇洛。她要是愿意嫁给我，我也想收养她的女儿。我的想法是，你请个人把房子帮我们收拾收拾，我跟你在德拉蒙德三人农场一起干。或者你我也可以想个支付的法子，你可以买我的股份。嘿，火车开了。我得走了。萨利，考虑考虑我的建议。跟布莱思说说。我明天再打给你，听你回话。”库珀关掉了电话，发动了车子，他颠簸着过了铁轨。他心里想着血浓于水，他的哥哥会放下他俩昔日的芥蒂，无论是真的还是臆想的。

他望着黄色的月亮，听着电话里的吱吱声。显然，萨利还是想自作主张。或许他自己不该表现得太过强势。他想着，做了个鬼脸。或许对他俩的纷争，他自己该多承担点责任。他一拧钥匙，关掉了电话。还是先办急事吧，找到薇洛，让她相信自己的真心诚意——再甜言蜜语搞定沙利文。

Chapter Thirteen

An hour and a half into the trip Lily grew restless. Willow tried to get her to eat something, or at least drink her milk. The girl pushed both away. Willow suspected it was due to the unfamiliar surroundings. The girl didn't really cry; she made a low moaning sound as she tried to rock in her seat.

Afraid of what would happen if Lily had a full-blown meltdown, Willow's stress grew. In the new age of zero tolerance for anyone causing a disturbance in a public place, no matter what the circumstances, she worried that she and Lily might be put off the bus and left by the side of the road. Willow had heard of that happening, and she felt so tense, she couldn't even eat the sandwich she'd brought for herself.

An older lady seated across the aisle from them leaned over and gave Lily a small cardboard book she pulled from a bag at her feet. "Children hate being confined."

Willow quickly took it from her daughter's hand before she could tear any pages. "This is nice of you," she told the lady as she returned the book. "But my daughter is... she has... she's autistic," Willow finally blurted out.

"I'm sorry," the woman said with genuine feeling. "I'm going to San Antonio to care for my six-year-old grandson who has a muscular disorder. His dad's in the Air Force and is out of the country. My daughter needs to work to make ends meet, but Rory requires special help, and she's worn out. Are you on your way to visit family?"

Willow shook her head. She thought how nice it would be to count on her mother. But Belle, after too many years of being tied to an invalid husband, was finished being a rock for her daughter. "My husband died last year," Willow said, not knowing why she was sharing intimate information with a stranger except that the woman had kind eyes and was sensitive to what it was like to have a child with disabilities.

The woman smiled. "My name is Grace. Grace Templeton. You're in the same kind of fix as my daughter. And your little girl is such a pretty thing. She looks perfectly fine. My grandson wears braces on his legs," she admitted. "He can't run and play with other kids his age, and sometimes his braces rub sores on his ankles and knees."

"That must be hard for him." Willow filtered her fingers through Lilybelle's fine brown hair. Leaning down, she kissed the top of her head, feeling close to tears. Every mother hoped her kids would be happy and healthy, and she couldn't guarantee that for her child.

"I don't know much about autism," Grace said. "I have heard it's on the rise. I've seen programs on TV. Several Hollywood stars have autistic children and they're raising money for research. There's not enough research money to go around," she added, ending with a sigh.

"You're better informed than me. I don't have a TV." Willow didn't say it was because she'd sold it, along with a lot of other things to buy food after Tate died. "I'm going to San Antonio because the small towns near where I used to live don't offer the range of services or schooling Lily should have. This is our first time taking a bus."

"We're pulling into the station at Uvalde," Grace pointed out. "Late as it is, this is the dinner stop. I've made the trip several times to visit my daughter. We'll be here about an hour. There's a cafeteria-style restaurant inside. I'd be happy to either get your food, or watch her while you go through the line. This is our last chance for a meal, and we arrive in San Antonio in the wee hours of the morning. Well before breakfast."

Willow glanced out at the bright lights of a larger bus stop than that in Carrizo Springs. It would be nice to share a meal and more conversation with the kindly Grace, but Willow had to hang on to every dime. She had too little left after buying bus tickets. Not nearly enough for San Antonio. How foolish had she been to set out on her own without having made arrangements at the other end? She ought to have realized no agencies would be open when she arrived. At the time she'd just needed to flee.

"Thank you," she told her helpful neighbor. "But I brought food, so maybe we'll stay on the bus during the stop."

"They make everyone disembark here and they lock the bus, dear. I've seen people eat on benches that line the building. If you do, take care. Some odd characters hang out around bus stations."

Now Willow was more anxious. What kind of odd people, she wondered as she collected the bag with her lunch, and hoisted Lily into her arms. Panhandlers?Drug pushers? She wouldn't like to meet those types.

The bus driver helped her down the steps, for which she was grateful as she juggled her bag and a sleepy child. At the ranch she'd felt moderately secure. Of course she'd had Tate's old shotgun to ward off amorous cowboys. Well, not Cooper. She hadn't tried to ward him off. Thinking about him, thinking about never seeing him again, pinched her heart and made her even sadder as she sought out a bench where she sat, determined to get Lily to drink her milk. But Lily was equally determined not to....

FINALLY REACHING THE outskirts of Uvalde, Coop coaxed every bit of speed he could from the Dodge. He'd ridden in a rodeo in this town and thought he remembered where the depot was. He was relieved to be right. There were two buses parked under the canopy, and people milled about the one that was just unloading. He had to park across the street and down half a block. Bounding out, Coop locked his vehicle and hurried back to join the throng of travelers. He jostled a young couple and apologized, looking wildly around in his search for Willow.

He spotted her and Lily huddled together on a bench and his stomach relaxed. Lily clutched her rabbit. Profound relief stole Coop's breath as he darted through a crowd of people. He got trapped behind a large man and had to stretch up on his toes to keep her in sigh. He called out to Willow.

She turned her head. She thought she heard someone call her name, but decided she must be hearing things. Then Willow saw Cooper weaving in and out among passengers leaving a second bus, which had pulled in moments ago.

He jogged up to them and lifted a sleepy Lilybelle from her arms. He was flushed and breathing hard. Lily yawned, but snuggled with her rabbit against his broad chest.

Willow was so startled to see him, she was speechless.

Coop dropped down beside her on the bench, and the sentences he'd been rehearsing for miles poured out. "Damn, Willow, I was afraid I'd miss you here like I missed you in Carrizo Springs. You must've known I'd run into Bart when I rode in. Thank God the sheriff told me which bus you took. Why didn't you come to the field and get me? What if I hadn't caught up to you here? Can you get your things off the bus? We're going to the Triple D, at least for now. Listen, we'll get married as soon as it can be arranged. Then, with your permission, I'm going to adopt Lilybelle." Everything tumbled out in a rush.

Willow had difficulty piecing together his clipped sentences. Silent throughout his speech, she began shaking her head before he'd finished. "You know what, Cooper? Lilybelle and I were afterthoughts in Tate's life. We came after his penchant for booze, gambling and womanizing. Way after his need to stick it to you. This morning at the house, I saw you hugging your tall, sexy redhead. I know you can't help how women flock around you, but I'm never, ever going to play second fiddle again. Nor will I be your pawn so you can stick it to your brother."

Coop gaped at Willow, trying to understand her refusal of his less-than-stellar marriage proposal. He frowned. "What do you mean? Redhead? I don't know—wait! Are you talking about Blythe? Sully's wife, Blythe? She brought me a check." He patted his pocket. "I'd phoned and asked Sully to transfer money into my account to cover the rental of cattle trucks to move your herd to market. Sully, being Sully, lectured me, but I guess he told Blythe. She's always hated the gulf between us, so she drove down with funds from her clinic account. Blythe wants us all at the Triple D, Willow. I told her you'd have to agree, and I told her about Lilybelle. She promised to research school programs and other help for Lily B," he said, smiling at the little girl. "Oh, and on the way here, I phoned Sully and laid it on the line. I told him I'd figured out that I never stopped loving you. I said we're going to get married if you'll have me. Will you?"

In a halo of light falling from a spotlight on a corner of the depot, Willow saw the seriousness in Cooper's eyes. She knew he thought she was what he wanted. "Coop, I know you probably feel some obligation to me... after the other night. But the fact that you didn't come inside to talk after you met with your sister-in-law tells me you're not sure about this." Placing a trembling hand on his warm, solid chest, she tilted up her face and kissed him on the chin. "It's okay. Bart's showing up to claim the ranch has set you free to go back to the Triple D."

Cooper followed her mouth when Willow would have drawn back. He didn't lift his head from an intense kiss until a couple of baggy-panted teens ambled past, making catcalls.

He ignored them. "Just say yes, Willow," he urged.

Flushed and somewhat breathless, she touched one hand to his lips. "I'm not convinced you've really thought this through. You shouldn't have to argue with your brother over your choice of wife." She paused. "You left Jud Rayburn's ranch because you fought with Sully. I won't be yet another reason for you to get under his skin. It's not easy for me to sit here and say that, Coop. Yes, I married another man, but in so many ways you were always in my heart."

"We've wasted enough time, then, don't you think?" he murmured huskily, reaching out and sliding a hand through her wind-tangled hair. "What more can I do or say to prove to you that I want us to be a family?"

Lily had dropped off to sleep with her head on Cooper's shoulder. She woke with a start and blinked at him. Glancing around, she patted his shirt and mumbled something that sounded like "Blue."

Tears gathered in Willow's eyes. She clutched her throat and said in a voice tight with emotion, "Coop, your shirt is blue. Blue's one of the colors you taught Lily about. Red and blue are her favorites."

Mumbling "Red," the girl tugged out the front of her own shirt, just before she raised both arms and hugged Coop around his neck.

Happily stunned, he blew a juicy kiss against the child's ear. She made a noise that could have been a giggle and batted a hand over her ear.

"Oh, Coop, those are more words than she's ever attempted. This is more animation than she's ever shown at one time. I said before that you're good for her. I can't... I'm not denying that. It's me. It's us. Are we good for each other?" she exclaimed. "I can't help worrying. It's all so confusing."

"It doesn't have to be." Smiling, Coop stood and waltzed his soon-to-be daughter in a circle. "What I'm asking for is another chance. This is no place to talk. I'll wait here with Lily if you'll hunt up the driver of your bus. I assume you have suitcases. Come with me to the Triple D and we'll work everything out."

"You're a hard man to refuse. Okay. I'll go with you so we can talk more. But there's someone I need to say goodbye to. I met a really nice lady on the bus. A grandmother who's headed to San Antonio to take care of a special-needs grandson because the boy's dad is deployed overseas. Do you mind if I go talk to her first? I want to tell her what happened with Lilybelle."

"By all means. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Willow."

She'd jumped up from the bench, but checked her forward motion. "That's good. I want friends. It's something I missed desperately at the ranch. Tate hated for me to go to town. He didn't like me talking to anyone. He thought I was plotting against him, plotting to leave him, I guess," she said with a shake of her head.

"It's a shame you had to put up with his antics for as long as you did," Coop said with feeling.

"Yes, but like my mother said, it was a choice I made, and I had to honor my decisions."

"Belle said that?" Coop snorted. "I'm disappointed in her. What was she thinking?"

"Probably that she stuck with my dad through thick and thin."

"Hmph. She left most of it up to you, Willow." He waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, it doesn't matter now. Go find your friend, and then the driver."

"Dad was a paraplegic for a long time, Cooper. That took its toll on Mom and me. These days I'm sure there are more agencies to help families in our situation. Or maybe not," she said with a shrug. "Okay, I'm going. But I don't want you to hate my mom. She's Lily's only grandmother. Someday I'd like her to get to know Lily-belle."

"I don't hate her. I won't begrudge her visiting, but I believe she steered you wrong about suffering through a bad marriage. Living with a tough situation is one thing. Abuse is different."

"Mom didn't know about that. I never told her."

"You kept too much bottled up, Willow." Coop twirled a strand of her hair around his index finger until she pulled away.

"In hindsight, yes," Willow admitted. "But like you said, that's in the past." She took a step in the direction of the depot. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

Coop watched her hurry off and pass through the glass doors leading into the attached restaurant. He saw her bend down and speak to an older woman. People had begun to wander out. Some lit cigarettes. Others came to stand beside the door of the bus.

The child had drifted off to sleep, her forehead tucked against Coop's neck. He swayed from side to side, moving out of the way as more travelers emerged from the restaurant.

Willow walked out soon after, matching her steps to those of a big man in a bus driver's uniform. "It's highly unusual to give passengers their luggage at a stop before their final destination," Coop heard him say to Willow.

"Sorry for the imposition," he said, joining them. "I missed connecting with her in Carrizo Springs."

The driver stared from one to the other. "He's not forcing you to go with him, is he?" he asked, eyes raking Willow.

"Oh, no.Not at all!"

"Huh. All right, then. Do you remember which bin your bags are in? And I'll need the claim checks."

Willow dug in the canvas bag she had slung over one shoulder. "Here they are. Just two. Mine is a standard black case. Pretty beat up. My daughter's is smaller. Brown plaid."

Taking out a key, the driver opened the compartment Willow indicated. "There," she said, pointing.

The driver set the bags on the concrete. Willow bent to collect them, but Coop swooped down and grabbed the larger one. "I'd take them both," he said, "but Miss Lily is out like a light."

"I can see that. I'm concerned about how long she'll sleep. She wouldn't eat or drink what I brought for her supper. I hope she doesn't get dehydrated since it's such a sultry night." Willow aimed her words at Coop, but as the bus driver left she caught his sleeve and thanked him.

"You're welcome. All aboard for San Antonio," the man shouted, plodding ahead to open the bus.

"Where are you parked?" Willow asked Coop.

"Across the street. In the next block."

They crossed, and he noticed how pinched Willow's face was. "It's approximately seventy miles to Hondo, then another ten or so out to the ranch. How do you feel about staying here tonight, so we can all get a good night's rest? I know of a nice motel with a country-style restaurant next door. They're open twenty-four hours if you want to buy Lily a glass of milk. Did you pack her favorite cup? I can register and then run next door and have her cup filled while you settle in the room."

"One room, Coop? I... We really haven't worked anything out."

"I'll see if they have a suite. But if they don't, I wish you'd believe I'm exhausted, and I can see you are, too. And we have Lily with us."

"Staying here tonight is fine, Cooper. I certainly can't imagine the three of us barging in on your brother and his wife after midnight. What would I say to him?"

"Don't worry about Sully." Coop opened the pickup doors. He tossed the suitcases into the backseats, then handed Willow in and eased Lilybelle onto her lap. "I'll deal with him. I've already set out my conditions for going home. I promise you, Willow, if he says one disparaging thing, or doesn't accept you, we will not stay at the Triple D. I'll get an appraisal and he can buy out my share. I won't ask for half, since he's carried the workload for a long time. But... Blythe told me Sully's developed high blood pressure. That's what killed our father," Coop said, sounding worried.

As he got in his side, she carefully buckled Lilybelle between them before putting on her own seat belt. The new booster seat was still back in her old pickup. "I will not let you split with him, Coop. As I said, I refuse to be the reason for a deeper rift between you and Sullivan."

"No, Willow. I want you in my life. It makes me mad all over again when I think of what he said—blaming you for me running off to the rodeo."

"Was he right? After all, I never tried to contact you." She stared at her hands as he started the engine. "I'm the one who let fear mess up our lives."

"Fear? What do you mean?"

"I tried to tell you how scared I was that you'd get bucked off or smashed against a chute. That you'd be hurt like my dad was."

"I told you bulls were way more dangerous. I'd ridden bucking horses since I was thirteen."

"You still don't get it, Coop. There was no difference in my mind. I had nightmares about a horse stomping the life out of you."

"Willow, for God's sake, why didn't you tell me?"

"I assumed you could see the toll my father's injury took on Mom and me. And I knew that if I made you give up a dream, eventually you'd resent me for it. That last time we did talk, I tried to articulate how I felt. You didn't get it or seem to care. You went to Mesquite. So, I gave up. By then Dad was having seizures and I needed to go home instead of staying in school. I told my study group that evening. Tate was there. He failed two classes and was retaking them. You know he was always after me to go out with him. But he never came around when you were there."

Coop ground the gears pulling out. "I told you before that I'd rather not talk about Tate. It's pointless." He tossed his Stetson in the backseat and ran his hand through his dark hair.

"You need to hear it all, Coop. I want to tell you how things happened. The next night some of my friends were going to a movie and asked me along. I knew I'd be gone in a week and I'd be back home taking care of Dad. Tate offered me a ride back to the dorm. He said the same six or so couples were planning an endof-the-year party at a popular club the next night. I'd never been, so I agreed to go. I got tipsy. Well, more than tipsy, to tell you the truth. Tate took care of me."

Cooper broke in again, but Willow shushed him. "A month after I got home, Daddy died unexpectedly. I felt guilty for being angry about having to leave college. Yes, you sent flowers, but Tate was there and he helped us handle stuff. He was solicitous of me and Mom. I just felt... numb. Your brother brought me to tears at the reception after the service. He yelled at me, like I said. Tate heard it all. He took me outside and proposed right then and there. He sounded sincere, and he promised we could move away from Hondo. I didn't want to stay where I could run into you any time you came home from the circuit. I grabbed Tate's offer like a lifeline."

Willow rubbed her forehead, hardly noticing that Coop had pulled into the parking lot of a western-style motel. "Well, you know the rest," she said, gesturing with one hand, her eyes closed. "His feelings for me were superficial at best."

"I'd like this to be the very last time we discuss Tate. Or any of the Walkers. Well, maybe not Bart. The sheriff said he stole your ranch because he thinks there's oil. If he strikes it rich, I'll gladly help you hire a lawyer to sue him on Lily's behalf. Maybe even if the well comes up dry. The way he's treating you two is wrong."

"Coop, I can't swear I'll never mention Tate. He was Lily's father. It'll be her right to know that someday. Even if I have to whitewash his history, I don't want her only to hear about his bad side. If you can't handle hearing Tate's name now and then, we shouldn't take our relationship further. The biggest question is, are you liable to resent Lily down the road for being his child?"

"No! I swear to you I'd never do that." Coop reached across Lilybelle and took Willow's hands. "And we can talk about Tate if necessary." He sighed. "I know we can't change the past, but we can shape our future. Ours and Lily's. While I was at your ranch I realized I've always loved you. I'll be honest. There were times I didn't want to. But when I found you again, I couldn't deny wanting to be with you. I want to be a husband to you and be a real dad to Lily. Will you let me?"

第十三章

车开了一个半小时后，莉莉就开始不自在了。薇洛想让她吃点东西，起码喝点牛奶。她都推开不要。薇洛怀疑这是环境陌生引起的。她其实并没哭，只是哼哼唧唧的，声音低沉，还一边在座位上摇晃着。

莉莉的病症要是糟糕到一发而不可收拾的地步，她将如何是好。想到这里，薇洛又平添了几分忧愁。在这个新时代，人与人之间没什么包容心，在公共场合要是出个什么事，也不管你有什么特殊情况，说不定她和莉莉就被扔下车，丢在公路边上。薇洛倒是有所耳闻。她很紧张，连给自己买的三明治也吃不下了。

一位坐在过道对面的年长的太太，从脚边的袋子里取出一本小小的薄纸板图画书，欠身给了莉莉，“小孩不喜欢像这样被关起来。”

薇洛赶紧从女儿的手里拿过来，怕她把书撕坏了，“你真好，”她称赞道，一边还回书，“可我的女儿她……她有……她有自闭症。”薇洛终于冲口而出。“很抱歉，”这位太太由衷地说道，“我去圣安东尼奥，照看我六岁的外孙，他患有肌肉紊乱症。他的父亲在空军部队，去海外了。我的女儿为了养家糊口必须工作，但是罗里需要特别的照顾，女儿已经给拖垮了。你是去探亲吗？”

薇洛摇摇头。她想，要是她妈妈能帮她一把，那该多好。可是贝尔被残废丈夫拖累这么多年，不可能成为女儿的靠山了。“我老公去年过世了，”薇洛说道，不明白自己怎么和一个陌生人亲密地交谈起来，只是老太太目光和善，能够体谅养个残疾孩子的感受。

老太太笑了，“我叫格雷丝。格雷丝·坦普尔顿。你和我女儿的处境差不多。你的女儿太可爱了。我外孙腿上还带有金属支架，”她说道，“他不能跑，不能像同龄孩子一样玩，有时支架还会伤着他的踝关节和膝盖。”“肯定够孩子受的。”薇洛用手指梳理着莉莉贝尔漂亮的棕色头发，低头吻着她的头发，眼泪直在眼眶里打转。哪个做妈妈的不想自己的孩子幸福健康，可她却不能为自己孩子的幸福健康做保证。“我对自闭症了解甚少，”格雷丝说，“我听说患病人数在上升。我在电视上看过节目。几个好莱坞明星的孩子就得了这病，他们还在为自闭症的研究募捐，研究的经费不够用。”她补充道，叹了口气。“你比我懂得多。我没电视。”薇洛没说她把电视卖了。泰特死后，为了吃饭，她还卖了好多别的家当，“我去圣安东尼奥，因为我以前住的地方是个小镇，提供不了医疗服务和教育。我们还是第一次坐巴士。”“在尤瓦尔迪，我们会进站休息会儿，”格雷丝说，“车是晚点了，会停下来让乘客用晚餐。我到女儿那里去过几趟了，在这儿大约要呆一个小时。车站里面有自助式餐厅。要不我帮你买饭，或者你去买，我在这儿帮你看着孩子，我都很乐意。这是用餐的最后一次机会了，我们到达圣安东尼奥时，已是凌晨两三点钟了，离早餐还早得很。”

薇洛望着眼前这个车站，比卡里索斯普林斯的车站还大，灯火辉煌。跟这位善良的太太一起用餐，聊聊天，一定是件开心的事，可薇洛得攥紧每分钱。买了车票，就所剩无多了。差点就不够去圣安东尼奥了。她太傻了，连个安排计划都没有就一个人出发了？她应该知道，等到了目的地，救助机构都关门了。可当时她只想逃之夭夭。“谢谢啦，”她对好心的邻居说，“我自己带了吃的，我们呆在车上就好啦。”“亲爱的，他们要每个人都下车，再锁上车门。我看见有人坐在楼旁的一排排长凳子上吃东西。你要去那儿，自个儿当心点，总有些不三不四的人在车站晃荡。”

薇洛更紧张了。她边拿起午餐袋，抱起莉莉，一边在想到底什么不三不四的人呢？叫花子？卖毒品的？她才不愿意遇到那些人。

巴士司机帮助她下了车，她心存感激，因为她手里拎着个袋子，背上背着打瞌睡的孩子。在农场上她还有点安全感。她有杆泰特的老散弹猎枪，赶走那些色迷迷的牛仔。当然，库珀另当别论。她也没有要赶走他。一想起他，想起再也见不到他，她就心酸；待她找了个板凳坐下来，下定决心要让莉莉喝牛奶时，她更是伤感不已。可莉莉的决心和她一样坚定，坚决不喝……

总算到了尤瓦尔迪的郊区，库珀把他的道奇车速开到了极限。竞技赛时他来过此地，认为自己还记得公共汽车站的位置。他还真找对了，总算松了口气。遮蓬下面停了两辆巴士，其中一辆正在卸货，乘客就在旁边转悠。他得把车停在街对面，离车站有半个街区之隔。库珀跳下车，锁了车门，赶紧回去加入乘客的人流。他撞到了一对年轻人，道了歉，四处张望，寻找薇洛。

他看到她和莉莉坐在板凳上，依偎在一起，他放心了。莉莉抓着自己的兔子。库珀穿过人群，连呼吸都轻松多了。一个身材高大的男人挡住了他的路，他只好踮起脚跟才看得见她。他叫了薇洛一声。

她转过头，觉得有人在叫她，但她肯定是出现幻觉了。随后，薇洛看见了库珀站在刚下车的一伙乘客中，朝她挥手。

他朝她们走过去，将瞌睡的莉莉贝尔从她的怀里抱起来。他脸涨红了，呼吸急促。莉莉打了个哈欠，抓住她的兔子，枕着他宽厚的胸膛。

薇洛看见他时惊呆了，说不出话来。

库珀挨着薇洛，一屁股坐在了条凳上。他一路在脑子里演练的话稀里哗啦地倾泻而出。“真是的，薇洛，我真担心会错过你，就像在卡里索斯普林斯那样。你肯定知道，我回来会撞上巴特。谢天谢地，警官跟我说了你坐的哪趟车。你为什么不到地里来找我。我要是没在这儿赶上你怎么办？你自己能把行李袋拿下车吗？我们一起去德拉蒙德三人农场，起码现在得去那儿。听我说，等安排妥帖了，我们就马上结婚。只要你愿意，我会收养莉莉贝尔。”一切的一切，库珀就这么倾倒而出了。

他的话说得有头无尾，薇洛一时难以全弄明白。他说话时，薇洛没吭声，可没等他把话说完，她就摇头了，“库珀，你知道吗？莉莉贝尔和我，在泰特的生活里无足轻重，可有可无。他是先染上了酗酒、赌博、玩女人的坏毛病，而后我们才结婚生子。或许也是出于和你斗气逞能吧。我早上在屋里见你拥抱那位身材高挑又性感的红发女人。我知道，你也拦不住女人围在你身边，而我再也不会，不会再做那有名无实的妻子了。我也不会做你跟你哥斗气的筹码。”

库珀惊讶地张大嘴，望着薇洛，努力想弄明白她为何拒绝他的求婚，虽说求婚的形式有点寒碜。他皱皱眉，“你在说什么呢？红发女人？我都莫名其妙——等等！你是在说布莱思？萨利的老婆，布莱思吧？她给我送支票来的。”他拍拍衣兜，“我打过电话了，叫萨利给我账户转点钱，用来支付租卡车的开销，把牲口运往市场。萨利，不愧是萨利，又对我耳提面命一大通。但我想，他把这事告诉了布莱思。她一向不喜欢我们兄弟不和，她便从诊所账户上取了钱，开车送过来。薇洛，布莱思想让我们一块回到德拉蒙德三人农场。她还答应给莉莉搜寻学校培训计划，和其他救助，”他说着，朝小女孩微笑着，“还有，在赶往这儿的路上，我给萨利打电话了，我把话都讲到了明处。我跟他说，我总算明白了，我一直爱的是你。我还说，只要你愿意，我们就结婚。你愿意吗？”

车站角落的一盏聚光灯，光亮四射。借着灯光，薇洛在库珀的眼睛里看到了认真。她明白，他认为自己就是他所爱的人，“库珀，我知道，你是不是觉得亏欠我的……特别是那一夜之后。可事实上，见了你嫂子后，你没进屋告诉我，就说明你还没拿定主意。”她将颤抖的手放在他温暖、坚实的胸膛上，扬起脸，吻了下他的下巴，“我没什么。巴特把农场拿走了，你也解脱了，正好回德拉蒙德三人农场。”

薇洛还没来得及收回头，库珀已经吻住她。正好几个穿灯笼裤的小年轻从旁边经过，发出起哄声，库珀这才从热吻中抬起头。

他没理睬他们，“告诉我你愿意，薇洛。”他催促道。

她的脸上泛起红晕，呼气急促，一只手触摸着他的嘴唇。“我感觉这事你还没真正想透想明白。你自己娶妻，没必要和你哥吵架。”她顿了顿，“你离开尤德·雷伯恩的农场，是因为你和你哥干了一架。我不想授人口实，让你们兄弟不和。库珀，我坐在这里，跟你说这话，你不知道对我有多难。是，我是另嫁他人了，可你一直在我的心里。”“我们已经浪费了大把的光阴，不是吗？”他喃喃道，声音沙哑，伸手梳理她被风吹乱的头发，“我还能做什么、说什么，才能证明我想跟你结为夫妻？”

莉莉本来已经靠着库珀的肩膀垂头而睡了。现在她惊醒了，对他眨着眼睛。她四下看看，拍着他的衬衣，一边嘟嘟囔囔，发声很像“蓝色”。

薇洛的眼里噙着泪水。她捂住自己的喉咙，满怀情感的说道，“库珀，你的衬衫就是蓝色的。蓝色是你教她的一种颜色。红色、蓝色是她最喜欢的。”

她嘟囔着“红色”，一边扯住自己衬衣的衣襟，而后举起双手，抱着库珀的脖子。

他又惊又喜，在孩子的耳朵上吹了一口气，啧啧有声。小孩应了一声，完全可能是咯咯的笑声，拿只手挡住了耳朵。“啊，库珀，她从没说过这么多话。她还从没这样活泼、有生气过。我以前就说过，你给她带来福气。我没法……没法否认这一点。你是给我，给我们带来福气。我们在一起会和和美美的吗？”她呼喊道，“可我还是忍不住要担心这担心那。我脑子很乱。”“你脑子真没必要这么乱。”库珀面带微笑，站起身，抱着她未来的女儿打着圈，“我要的是你再给我次机会。这儿说话不方便。我和莉莉在这儿等着，你去找司机。我想你有行李箱。跟我到了德拉蒙德三人农场，我们再合计。”“你真是让人很难拒绝。行啦，我跟你去，这样我们也可以多聊聊。可我得跟一个人道个别，一位老奶奶，去圣安东尼奥照看需要特别护理的外孙，因为孩子的爸爸驻军海外了。我去跟她说一声，你不介意吧？我想告诉她莉莉贝尔所发生的变化。”“没事。你的朋友就是我的朋友嘛。”

她从板凳上跳起来，可又顿了一下，“太好了。我需要朋友。我在农场时特别想念我的朋友。泰特讨厌我去镇上，我跟谁说话他都不喜欢。我猜想，他老以为我在算计他，打算悄悄离开他。”她摇头道。“你竟能容忍他这些怪癖这么久，真是难为你了。”库珀深情款款道。“谁说不是，正如我妈妈所言，我自己的选择，我就得自己买单。”“贝尔也口出此言？”库珀哼了声，“我对她有点失望。她脑子在想什么呢？”“也许她就是这样吧，一辈子对我爸不离不弃。”“嗯。薇洛，可她把照看你爸的大部分事情让你承担了。”他轻蔑地一挥手，“啊，现在一切都好了。先去找你的朋友，再找司机。”“库珀，我爸瘫痪太久了。这厄运罩在妈妈和我的头上。这些天我坚信，会有更多的机构，帮助处在像我这样境地的家庭，或许也可能没有，”她一耸肩道，“好啦，我去了。可我不想你讨厌我的妈妈。她是莉莉唯一的姥姥。将来有一天我希望她能慢慢了解莉莉贝尔。”“我不是讨厌她。我也欢迎她来玩，但我觉得，要你承受一桩不幸的婚姻，她给你指错了方向。身处逆境，心志不二是一回事，可遭受辱骂虐待则另当别论。”“妈妈对此一无所知。我从未跟她提起过。”“薇洛，你一人承受了太多，”库珀将她一绺头发缠绕在食指上，直到她一拉就松开了。“现在回头看，是这么回事，”薇洛承认道，“可你不是说了嘛，这一切都过去了。”她朝车站方向迈出一步，“等着。我马上回来。”

库珀望着她匆匆离去的背影，穿过玻璃门，进了紧挨着的餐馆。他见她俯身和一位老太太说话。人们开始四周逛逛。有的点着了香烟，还有的站在车门旁。

小孩又晕晕乎乎地睡着了，她的额头靠着库珀的脖子。他的身子来回地移动着，给行人让路，越来越多的乘客走出了餐馆。

薇洛很快走出餐馆，脚步赶紧跟上身着驾驶员服装的一个大个子。“终点站还没到，中途站点就给乘客行李，这样的情况实属罕见。”库珀听见他对薇洛说道。“很抱歉，添麻烦了，”他在一旁帮腔道。“在卡里索斯普林斯，我没能跟她联系上。”

司机盯着他俩，“他没强迫你跟他走，对吧？”他问道，目光扫视着库珀。“啊，不。完全没有。”“啊，那好吧。你记得你的行李在哪节行李箱吗？我还要查看行李认领单。”

薇洛在跨在肩上的帆布包里找着，“啊，有了。一共两张。我的是个普通的黑色箱子，很旧了。女儿的还小些，棕色格子花呢的。”

司机拿出钥匙，打开了薇洛说的行李箱，“在那儿。”她边说边指。

司机把袋子搁水泥地上。薇洛去提，库珀弯腰提了个更大的。“我可以拿两个，”他说，“但莉莉小姐睡得太沉了。”“可不是嘛。我担心她还能睡多久。我给她带的晚饭，她不吃不喝。夜里闷热，她该不会脱水吧。”薇洛的话是说给库珀听的，可司机要走了，她拉了下他袖口，道了谢。“别客气。到圣安东尼奥的乘客们都上车喽。”司机吆喝道，一面前去开车门。“车停哪儿了？”薇洛问库珀。“街对面。下一个街区。”

他们过了街，他注意到薇洛的脸消瘦了许多。“到洪多大约近七十英里，再走约十英里就到农场了。在这里住一晚，你觉得这主意怎么样？我们可以好好休整一夜。我知道有家汽车旅馆，隔壁有家餐馆，乡村风味的，二十四小时营业，你可以给莉莉买杯牛奶。你带她最喜欢的杯子了吗？你先去房间收拾一下，我去登记和买牛奶。”“库珀，单间？我……我们好多事都还没有个眉目。”“我看看他们有没有套间。可要是没有，我希望你相信我，我真的累坏了，我看你也是。我们还带着莉莉。”“库珀，住一夜当然好。我还真没法想象，半夜三更，我们三人冒冒失失地去你哥哥和嫂子那儿，会是什么境况？我跟他说什么好呢？”“别担心萨利。“库珀打开皮卡车门。他把行李包扔到后座，扶着薇洛上了车，轻轻地把莉莉贝尔放到她膝盖上。”我来对付他。我跟他开出了我回家的条件。我向你保证，薇洛，他要是说了伤害你的话，或者不接纳你，我坚决不在德拉蒙德三人农场呆下去。我会做资产评估，他可以买断我的股份。我不要一半的股份，因为农场的重担长期是他担着。可是……布莱思告诉我，他已经有高血压。高血压夺走了我父亲的命。”库珀说道，不无担忧。

他进了驾驶座，她小心地把莉莉贝尔用安全带系在他俩之间，再系上自己的。新买的垫高座椅还在老皮卡车里。“我不会让你和他兄弟阋墙的。我说过了，我拒绝授人口实，让你和沙利文之间的矛盾激化。”“你错了，薇洛。我要你进入我的生活。我一想起他说的话，我就冒火——我去竞技赛了，他把什么事都怪到你的头上了。”“他也有道理呀？毕竟，我并没努力跟你取得联系。”她盯着自己的手，而他正发动车子，“该怪我，是我让自己的担心搅乱了我们的生活。”“担心？你在说什么？”“我曾试图告诉你，我有多害怕你从马背上摔下来，或者撞在狭道上，你会变得像我爸爸一样的。”“我跟你说过，公牛竞技赛比野马竞技赛危险多了。我打十三岁起，就骑在马背上了。”“库珀，你还是没明白我的意思。在我的脑子里，骑马和骑牛没差别。我做了个噩梦，梦见你被马踩死了。”“薇洛，我的老天，你为什么不告诉我？”“我以为，你明白我父亲受伤带给妈妈和我的厄运。我也明白，要是我让你放弃梦想，到头来你会怨我的。最后一次我们聊到过这事，当时我试图想表达我的感受。你还是不明就里，或者看似明白。你去了梅斯基特，我也就算了。之后父亲开始痉挛，我必须回家，不能呆在学校了。我告诉了我的学习小组成员，泰特当时在场。他两门课不及格，在重修。你是知道的，他一直在追我，跟我约会。但只要你在，他从没来找过我。”

库珀操纵着车的档位，“我以前不是跟你说过，我不想谈论泰特，谈他毫无意义。”他把他的斯泰森毡帽扔到后车座，用手梳理了一下自己黝黑的头发。“库珀，你一定得听听，我想给你说说事情的前因后果。第二天晚上，我的一些朋友去看电影，叫我一块去。我知道，一周后我得离开学校，回家照看父亲。泰特主动开车送我回宿舍。他说就是这六七对朋友正在计划，第二天夜里在一家大家喜欢的俱乐部举行期末聚会。我从未去过这样的场合，所以，我答应去。我喝醉了，其实，说真的，醉得不轻。泰特照顾了我。”

库珀又要打断她，但薇洛叫他别吱声，“一月后我回家了，父亲突然过世。我感到内疚，因为我为辍学而生过气。没错，你送过花，可是，泰特人就在那儿，他帮我们料理方方面面的事情。他关心妈妈和我。我只感觉……麻木了。葬礼后，你哥哥当众把我气哭了。就像我说的，他对我又吼又叫，泰特都听见了。泰特把我叫到外面，当场向我求婚，他语气诚恳，还承诺可以远离洪多。我不想呆在那里了，因为你竞技赛后回了家，我随时都可能撞到你。我接受泰特的求婚，就像拼命地抓住救命的稻草。”

薇洛摸了摸她的前额，没注意到库珀把车开进了一家西式风格的汽车旅馆停车场，“哎，后面的事你也知道了，”她说，一只手一挥，两眼闭着，“他对我的情感最多也不过是表面的。”“我倒希望这是我们最后一次谈起泰特，或者任何沃克家的成员。啊，对了，也许还得谈及巴特。警官说了，他窃取了你的农场，因为他以为那儿有石油。他要真是发了，我会很乐意帮你请位律师，为了莉莉的利益跟他对簿公堂。哪怕就是油井干了，不出油了，他待你们的方式也是理亏的。”“库珀，我不能发誓永不提泰特。他是莉莉的父亲，迟早她会知道这个事实，这也是她的权利。即使我不得不给他遮遮掩掩，我也不想她只知道泰特坏的一面。你要是连偶尔听听他的名字都受不了，那我们之间的关系就不应该往深里发展了。最大的问题是，因为莉莉是泰特的孩子，你将来会怨恨她吗？”“绝不！我发誓，我绝不会！”库珀的手伸过莉莉，拉住薇洛的双手。“需要的时候，我们可以谈谈泰特，”他叹口气，“我知道，过去的已无法改变，但我们可以谋划未来，我们的未来和莉莉的未来。在农场的这段时日，我认识到，我一直爱的人是你。我会诚实做人。我自己也曾有过不想和你在一起的时候。但当我找到了你，我无法否认自己想和你在一起。我想做你的丈夫，当莉莉称职的爸爸。你愿意给我机会吗？”

Chapter Fourteen

Willow gazed at Coop for a long moment. "I think I should wait to make that decision until we get to the Triple D tomorrow and see what our reception is. If your brother objects to me being back in your life, I won't stay. I mean, the Triple D is where you belong, Coop. It's your birthright as much as Sullivan's."

"The Triple D is land and an empty house. You're the woman I love. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our getting married has to do with us. Nobody else, Sully has no say."

Willow wished she believed that, but something in her wasn't reassured.

Lily stirred on the seat between them, shifting her head to Coop's leg. For a second her eyelashes fluttered, her eyes opened. She saw him, then snuggled back.

"I want to be your wife," Willow murmured. "I'd like us to be a family more than anything I've ever wanted. And, you know, I don't regret that Bart Walker took the ranch. I was stuck in a rut there. I can't care if Sully approves of me or not. No, that's a lie... I do care, Coop. I hope for your sake he forgives what he thinks I did. I love you like I've loved no one else. I've got to admit I have reservations, but I... yes, I'll marry you."

Coop's eyes glowed with pleasure. He already held Willow's hand, and because her daughter lay sprawled across his leg, all he could do was press several kisses into Willow's palm. "I want to give you a better kiss," he said. "And I will. But before the motel staff sends cops to investigate why we're parked in their lot and no one's come inside, I need to go book us a room. Do you still want a suite?"

Willow smiled. "No, but nothing's really changed. It's late. We're tired. Lily will share our room and maybe even our bed, so it's all about sleeping tonight."

"If they have a room with two queens, Lily can have a bed of her own. And at least I can fall asleep holding you in my arms. Tomorrow night, though, we'll—"

"Coop, this may be the second time around for me, but I'm obviously shier about discussing what goes on in the bedroom than you are."

Coop carefully lifted the groggy child and put her in Willow's arms. "You never used to be. And you didn't seem at all shy to me the other night when we made love on your living-room floor."

She cleared her throat. "I don't recall that we talked about having sex first. We just... acted on our urges. Our feelings. It happened because I love you."

"That's what I mean. Maybe sex can be awkward, but when the people involved love each other, it's natural. An expression of shared feelings."

"Wow, I never knew you could be so poetic," Willow teased.

"And I'm even better at showing than telling." With that, Coop opened the door, left the cab and strode into the motel lobby.

He soon returned with a key card. "We're at the back. I'll drive around, park and turn the horses out in their corral."

"The motel has a corral?"

"That's how I know the place. It's not a chain. It's owned by an ex-rodeo couple. They cater to guys and gals on the circuit, or to cowboys passing through."

"You've traveled all over the state. This is all so new to me."

"Really? Where did you go on your honeymoon?"

Willow hesitated, and didn't respond until Coop had parked out by the stables and corral. "No honeymoon," she finally said. "Tate and his dad drove to Carrizo Springs and closed on the ranch after Tate and I visited a justice of the peace. His dad tried to talk him into an annulment. Tate refused, but just knowing that threw me off balance. But we were married, so I drove down in Tate's pickup the next day. Nothing about my wedding or my marriage was romantic."

"You can bank on us having a honeymoon. Even if we take Lily along and make it a nice vacation. I want us to have something memorable. With photos to pass down to Lily and any other kids we have." He frowned as he went around the pickup to help Willow out. "We didn't discuss that possibility. Do you want more children?"

Running a finger lightly over the buttons down the front of Cooper's shirt, Willow nodded. "I do want your children, Coop."

He clasped her by the shoulders, taking care not to bump the sleeping girl she held. Nevertheless he managed a deep and searing kiss. "We're in room twelve," he said in a voice rough with desire. "You go on in. After I turn out the horses, shall I go next door and get her some milk? You never said if you packed her cup with the lid." He handed her the room card.

"Listen to us. We sound like an old married couple. Yes, I packed her cup. I'll get it. If she wakes up, milk should last her until morning. I hope they have pancakes for breakfast, which she loves."

"I'll pick up a menu while I'm at the restaurant. Or do you want to walk over there for dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry. Anyway, I have apples, cheese and a sandwich I made for the trip."

"Okay." Coop set all three bags inside the room dominated by a king-size bed. A shower was visible through an open door. The decor—in browns and rust, complete with a wagon-wheel light fixture overhead—gave it an aura of the old west. "King-size beds were all they had left." He turned back one side of the covers. "Put Lily down here. You get the middle and I'll crawl in on the far side." Coop backed toward the door. "Uh, I almost forgot her cup."

She nodded, dug around in her suitcase and gave him the cup.

"I told Sully to open up the home place for us, Willow. He and Blythe built a new house. I'm not sure which, if any, furnishings they took. It used to be nicely furnished, but if you don't like how it's decorated, we'll get different stuff. It'll be your home, Willow. I want you to be happy there."

Moved, she curved her hand around his cheek. "You're assuming Sullivan will welcome me."

Turning his head, Coop again kissed her palm. "I wish you'd stop worrying. As kids Sully and I fought like, well, brothers." Coop hesitated a moment. "He had to grow up fast when Mom died. Being the oldest, he took over the accounting that she'd handled. When Dad died, running the ranch fell on Sully's shoulders because I was still in school. Until I spent time with your cattle in the past few weeks—vaccinating, branding and then negotiating prices for them—I never gave Sully enough credit. I can see I acted like the spoiled younger brother. I suppose he deserves an apology from me. Our parents were decent and loving folks, and I believe Sully and I can be like them. We can forge a truce. Blythe was sure of it."

"I hope so. I really do." Willow watched Coop step out of the door. As it shut she battled a sinking feeling. Was Coop being too much of an optimist? His brother had run the Triple D alone for seven or eight years now. It stood to reason that he'd be used to control. Sighing, she ate two apple slices and a piece of cheese, but she really wasn't hungry.

Lily woke up when Willow tried to put her in her pajamas. She fussed and not even her rabbit appeased her, so Willow decided to let her sleep in the shorts and shirt she had on. But she worried that Lily's sobs might wake people in the adjoining room. Theirs was on the end so they only shared one wall. Willow wished she had her rocker, but had to make do with an overstuffed leather chair.

Coop came in about the time Lily's cries reached a crescendo. "Hey, hey, sweetie, what's the matter?" He lifted her from Willow's lap and offered her the cold milk. She took it and drank, barely sniffling between gulps, her forehead against Coop's cheek.

"She was really thirsty," Willow remarked.

The little girl took a final swig and handed the cup to her mother.

"Usually she drops her cup on the floor." Willow offered Lily some cheese, but the girl ducked her head in refusal.

Instead, Lily patted Coop's shoulder. "Blue," she said, clearly and distinctly as she kept patting his shirt.

"I guess Blue is going to be my new name. That's okay. When I think about it, I have more blue shirts than any other color." He jiggled the girl and smiled at her. "Blue, it is, Miss Lily."

"The fact that she's getting the color right repeatedly is very significant. I should've tried crayons a second time. The counselor told me to read the same book over and over and to show her the pictures so the images would stick in her mind." She shook her head. "The blocks you bought were another great idea. She loved stacking them according to size and color, but I had to leave them behind. The most progress she's made has been since you entered our lives, Coop. So... now I have doubts about whether keeping her at home with me was the best thing for her. Maybe it held her back."

Coop waited as she washed Lily's face and hands. He let her tuck the girl under the sheet before he spoke. "I'm no authority on kids, but it can't be a detriment for a young child to stay with her mother. To stay in familiar surroundings. If Blythe hasn't found a good day school for autistic kids, we'll research until we locate one so she can come home every night. We'll get her more blocks and whatever else she needs."

Willow dashed a hand across her eyes. "You keep making me cry. Thank you for everything, Coop. I love her so much." Willow smoothed back the girl's curls as her eyelids drifted closed.

Tugging Willow up and into his arms, then wrapping her in a tight hug, Coop said, "Thank you for allowing me to be part of her life. If there are answers to be had, we'll find them. Honey, you're running on empty. I'll sit with her until she's asleep if you'd like to go shower. It might help you sleep."

"I'll wait and shower in the morning. Trust me, I'll sleep no problem." Willow tucked her head under Coop's chin and pressed a kiss to his throat. "I feel safe with you here," she murmured.

"Don't kiss me again like that or I won't vouch for how safe you'll be," he teased as he lifted her chin with a finger and brushed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Get ready for bed. I'll take off my shirt and boots and sleep in my jeans—in deference to our little bedmate."

"I sleep in a pair of old shorts and a T-shirt. Will it be an affront to your sensibilities if I change into them for the rest of the night?"

"Nope, but I should warn you I usually sleep in the raw. Ever since we got back together the other night, I felt it should be our de rigueur attire." Coop waggled his eyebrows.

Willow turned from pulling her nightclothes out of her suitcase and laughed. "There you go again, using ten-dollar words, cowboy. I say, keep on dreaming. All things risqué fall by the wayside with parenthood." She smiled at him and headed for the adjacent bath.

"Isn't that why bedroom doors have locks? There are ways," he called after her, although he barely raised his voice. "Otherwise, everyone would be an only child."

She poked her head out of the room. "I'll leave it up to you to figure it out, Coop. But tonight I'm tired, I'll be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow."

"I wasn't talking about tonight. For once, I'm going to plan ahead. You can count on that."

She smiled to herself. And it'd been so long since she could count on anyone except herself, the burdens weighing her down suddenly felt lighter.

Coop was snoring softly by the time Willow had sponged off the grime of travel and emerged again, feeling better. She took a minute to admire the bare torso of the man with whom she'd be sharing a bed. Luck had finally fallen on her side. She snapped off the bedside lamp and crawled between the two sleeping bodies—the two most important people in her life. In spite of telling Coop how quickly she'd fall asleep, Willow lay awake worrying, wondering if her luck would hold after they reached the Triple D. Sullivan Drummond remained a wild card. As much as she loved Coop, she couldn't—wouldn't—come between the brothers.

RAYS OF SUNLIGHT dancing across the bed woke her the next morning. Some time during the night, Coop had draped an arm around her. Lily, totally relaxed as only a child could be, took up more than her third of the bed. Used to rising at dawn to start on ranch chores.

Willow did her best to not move a muscle. Waking up in Coop's arms was as close to perfect as any fantasy she'd ever had.

But she wasn't the only one used to getting up early. "Good morning, sweetheart," a husky voice growled near her ear. Coop released her and stretched his arms. "At the risk of sounding 'poetic' again... your hair looks like ropes of spun gold in the morning sun. Do you always braid your hair at night? There's so much I don't know about you, Willow—so many facts and details. I can't wait to learn it all." Coop brushed a thumb over the end of one of her braids.

Pleasure clogged Willow's throat. She turned in his arms, pulling her hair from his loose grasp. Laying her right hand on his whiskery cheek, she kissed him, pouring every bit of love she could muster into that kiss.

"Mmm... I could handle being greeted like this every morning."

The moment ended because Lily sat up, rubbed her eyes and looped one arm around her plush rabbit. Looking around, the child seemed to take in all her surroundings, then climbed over her mother, patted Cooper's bare chest and, more clearly than she'd ever spoken, said, "No boo."

Coop laughed and tossed her in the air. "No blue. You're absolutely right, Lily B. I am not wearing a blue shirt today. Give me a second. You stay here with your mom. I'll shower and put on another blue shirt, just for you."

He scooted out of bed and grabbed his duffel.

Willow hugged the girl. "Two words. You put two words together. That makes Mama so happy."

Her tears of joy fell unabashedly when, for the very first time, her daughter touched her face and said, "Mama."

"Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm Mama, and you're Lilybelle. This is Mr. Rabbit. Shall we find you a clean shirt to wear?" Willow marveled at her daughter and let her happy tears continue to flow.

"Red," the girl said, tugging on the shirt she'd worn to bed. It was as if words that had been stored in her head suddenly began to stream out.

"Yes. Let's keep this floodgate of words open, honeybee."

Glancing around again, Lily stretched out an arm in the direction of what would've been their kitchen at home. "Eat," she said.

Willow smothered her in hugs. "Clothes first, then I'll take a fast shower, then we'll go eat. Would you like pancakes?"

Lily rocked a bit and it seemed to Willow that she nodded. All of this was such a giant leap forward and filled Willow's heart with joy. Maybe leaving the ranch was good for all of them. Except that one man held the power to ruin everything. Sullivan Drummond.

Coop came out of the bathroom as Willow pulled a clean red T-shirt over Lily's curls. She wore it with yellow shorts that had red flowered pockets. "Your turn," Coop said, bending to stuff his rolled-up dirty clothes in a zippered pocket of his duffel. "I heard you say pancakes. If she'll let me, I'll put on her shoes and socks while you shower. When you're finished, I'll stow our bags in the truck, check out and meet you at the restaurant."

"You do plan ahead." Willow grinned. "I wish you'd heard Lily say more words this morning," she added wistfully. "New ones. New words. Mama was one, and you can't believe how... wonderful it sounded." Willow sniffed and had to grab a tissue.

"Hey, that's fantastic! And it's only the beginning. Are you okay?" he asked, raising Willow's face as he studied her anxious blue eyes.

"The counselor told me some nonverbal autistic children stay locked in their own worlds. I was afraid that was going to be Lily. Oh, I wish this morning could go on forever. I won't lie, Coop, I'm nervous about what might be waiting for us at the Triple D. Even if your brother didn't think I was bad for you, what can I actually bring to our marriage?"

"What do you mean? You bring yourself!"

"Right. Your sister-in-law is a doctor. I'm a college dropout."

"So what? Big deal." Coop set his bag and Lily's by the door. He sat the child on the bed and knelt with her socks in his hand. "I don't seem to be able to relieve your concerns. Apparently nothing but going there and getting the meeting over with will ease your mind. By ten o'clock your worries will be a thing of the past."

Willow wished she didn't worry so much, but life had brought her too many jolts, and she couldn't help expecting the worst. Yet she jumped in the shower and did her best to let the hot water wash her cares away. She hadn't packed any cosmetics, but she brushed her hair into a shine. She chose to wear her only pair of capris, white, which she teamed with a bright yellow T-shirt. While it was far from new, the color lifted her spirits.

"You look fantastic," Coop said. He punctuated his enthusiasm with a kiss that kicked Willow's heart into overdrive. "Meet you in ten minutes at the restaurant. Try to get a seat by the window on the back. It looks out on an area where there are rabbits. I think Lily will like that."

Taking her daughter's hand, Willow left the room and walked out into the heat of the morning sun.

Lily did love the rabbits. They had trouble getting her to eat, but all of them finally enjoyed hearty breakfasts and were on the road by half past eight.

With each mile they traveled Coop could see Willow's eyes grow cloudier. He wished he could convince her that it truly didn't matter to him how Sully reacted or whether he made them welcome at the Triple D. Willow and Lily were his destiny, come what may.

A few miles from Hondo, Coop cast a glance at Willow. "Have you thought any more about taking classes to finish up your teaching degree?"

She whipped her head around. "I've been out of the habit of studying for five years. I... don't know if I could get back into the swing of it. There's Lily, too. To say nothing of tuition costs. You mentioned loans, but they have to be paid back."

"What about online classes to start? I met a few guys on the circuit who'd also dropped out of college. They set up laptops in their motor homes and caught up on some of their courses. If it interests you, we can look into it. See a college counselor. Ask about loans. Just for the record, I don't give a damn if you get a degree or not. But I sense it's something that bothers you."

"It does. I was so close. And ever since Lilybelle was diagnosed, I thought if I had my teaching degree it wouldn't be hard to pick up extra credits in special education. I'd be able to help her and other kids like her."

"If that's what you want, we'll set that goal right now."

Willow's eyes glowed with an inner brightness for the first time during their drive. Coop shoved a CD into the player and they listened to Reba's song "A Little Want To." The words expressed their thoughts perfectly....

Willow tensed up again when they'd skirted Hondo. Coop swung his pickup out and turned down the poplar-lined gravel drive that marked the entrance to the Triple D. The home place, where Coop had been raised sat straight ahead. But, he saw a new mailbox at the end of a new road that had been cut through the land. Smaller trees had been planted along both sides. Assuming it led to Sully's new house, Coop made a sharp turn and glanced in his side mirrors. "Hope I didn't toss Legend and Rusty around too much."

As he parked in the circular drive, he whistled through his teeth. "Some digs," he said. "Looks like a place out of Architectural Digest."

The house sat on a hill and overlooked a valley of green dotted with white-faced cattle. The pristine rail fence was a far cry from the wire Coop had strung on metal posts at Willow's ranch. Where her house had a porch, this home had a porch, one that wrapped around the cedar-sided house with peaks of glass. He saw an arrangement of wicker outdoor furniture, grouped around a fire pit. "Son of a... gun," he said. "And Sully tried to make me think he was working his butt off to make ends meet."

"Coop, are we going to sit here all morning?" Willow asked. "Someone's come out on the porch."

He reined in his roaming eyes and cracked open his door. "That's Blythe and Gray. Their son."

Climbing out, Coop rushed around the cab and opened Willow's door. Her fingers weren't steady. He ended up unbuckling her seat belt and Lily's.

Blythe and her son rushed down the stone steps. "You did come! Couldn't you have called again, Cooper? We've been on pins and needles ever since you phoned yesterday to say you were going to get Willow off the bus."

Coop noticed that his brother was slower to come out of the house.

Sully's hands were tucked in his front jeans' pockets, and his face revealed nothing as he descended the steps.

Blythe hugged Coop, then Willow, who held one of Lily's hands. The girl clutched her ever-present rabbit in the other.

The brothers maintained a wary eye contact before Sullivan stood before Coop at last. Freeing his right hand, Sully gave his brother's shoulder a friendly slap. "Welcome home, Coop. It's about time." Then he turned his attention to Willow. "If you're the reason this hardheaded so-and-so has finally come home where he belongs, I... we owe you," Sully said, placing one hand on his wife's shoulder while extending the other toward Willow.

"I, ah, Coop decided all on his own."

Blythe bent at the waist. "And I'm assuming this is Lilybelle." She smiled at the child, who now clung tightly to her mother's leg. "This is our son, Gray. Honey, do you have a gift for your cousin? Well, soon-to-be cousin," she said, shooting Willow another wide smile.

The thin boy with big eyes and a shock of unruly dark hair edged forward. A foot from Lily, he held out a toy. A rainbow-colored pony with a pale silvery mane and tail that looked a lot like the one she'd colored. "For you," Gray mumbled. "Uncle Coop loves horses. He's gonna raise them on the Triple D."

Willow held her breath as all eyes shifted to her daughter. Surprisingly, Lily accepted the toy and bestowed a brief smile on her benefactor. "Po...ny," she said clearly.

The two women beamed at the kids. Willow mostly, because Sully and Blythe couldn't know what a huge step this was for Lily. Not only to accept an offering from a stranger, but to call it by its name. And a shy smile from a girl deficient in facial expression was a rare gift in itself. Willow blinked rapidly to keep tears at bay.

Coop focused on his nephew. "I don't know if I'm going to raise horses on the Triple D, Gray. We'll have to see. It's true I used to run a herd here, though."

As if on cue, the horses in Coop's trailer whinnied. An answering whinny came from a fenced area across the lane. Swinging around, Coop saw a number of horses trotting along the enclosure. Shock rippled through him. "Sully, those look like part of the herd I sold after Dad died."

"When you sold them, refused to come home and later took off for the rodeo in a huff, you mean?" his brother asked mildly.

Blythe jabbed Sully in the ribs. "We said we wouldn't mention the past."

Sully tugged on one ear in a gesture Willow found endearingly reminiscent of Coop. "I bought them back," the older brother admitted. "I never believed you'd stay away from the Triple D forever. Although, after you quit the rodeo last year and then didn't come home, I have to say I began to have doubts."

Stuttering out words of gratitude that were trapped in his throat, Coop crossed the short space and gave his brother an awkward hug. He stepped back, picked up Lily and her toys, then slid his other arm around Willow's waist. "I'm home for good if you'll welcome my family. We haven't tied the knot yet, but Willow's agreed to marry me. Sooner rather than later, I hope. Lily has special needs that'll take priority with both of us. But I plan on working hard to support them," he vowed, smiling into Willow's eyes.

Sully exchanged a loving glance with Blythe before stepping forward. "Willow," he said, "you probably know that hotheadedness runs in the Drummond family. However, that's no excuse for the things I said to you at a rough time in your life. I hope you'll forgive me. I, of all people, should've known how shaky people feel when they've lost a loved one. I'm really sorry."

Willow bit her upper lip. "You're forgiven," she said. "I love Cooper." She edged closer to him, but then her voice failed her.

Nodding, Sully let his gaze rest momentarily on the other five members of their group. "Four of us are already Drummonds, and two soon will be. Coop, I happen to have an attorney on retainer. Since Dad died, I've had trouble calling the ranch the Triple D. What would you say to legally changing the ranch name and logo? We could just go back to calling it Drummond Ranch, if you like that idea, Cooper."

Coop's arm tightened around Willow. "You're asking my opinion and not giving me an order?"

"Blythe constantly reminds me that I'm not Dad. We're equal here, Cooper," Sully said, sounding fervent and a little humble.

Coop squared his shoulders. "I'd say it sounds good—and it'll still work when one or both of us add to our families," he said, slanting a wink toward the women.

He dropped his hand after a last small squeeze of Willow's waist and set Lily down by Gray. The brothers took off to inspect their two herds, cattle on one side of the road, horses on the other.

"That was a nice gesture," Willow murmured to Blythe. "I worried a lot about coming here with Coop. I'd made up my mind that, no matter what, I'd never stand between Coop and his brother."

Blythe linked arms with Willow. "I'm so glad it didn't come to that. While they're off doing what Drummond men do, why don't you and I go inside and check the calendar for an end-of-summer wedding date? The home place, which now belongs to you and Cooper, has the perfect bridal staircase. You know their parents, Matt and Lily, were married there? So were Sully and I. Or if you'd rather book a church, we can do that," Blythe said as they walked through the door.

"The family house would be lovely, if it's okay with Coop. Thank you and Sullivan for making me and Lilybelle feel welcome. For making us feel like family," she said with a catch in her voice.

"You are family," Blythe insisted staunchly. "Coop said you named Lily after his mother. That's special, Willow. Oh, I promised him I'd research schools that teach language skills and cognitive development." Blythe pulled a packet of brochures from a credenza drawer and handed them to Willow. "You can evaluate the facilities after you get settled, and choose the one you like best for Lily. The program I'm most partial to is housed in the private school Gray attends. That way, he'd be there as her older cousin, to look out for Lily."

The men walked into the house in time for Coop to hear his sister-in-law's suggestion. Sliding both arms around Willow, Coop brushed his cheek over hers. "How does that sound to you, Willow? Hey, did Willow tell you she might go back to school herself, to finish her teaching degree? She could end up teaching Gray or Lily."

Blythe and Sully immediately congratulated her and offered her their support.

"This all seems too good to be true," Willow murmured as she clutched the brochures. "A day ago I was made homeless by my former father-in-law. Life was completely uncertain. Now I'm standing here in the middle of my new extended family. A real family," she whispered, reaching up to frame Cooper's other cheek. "I can't tell you how deeply that touches me."

"Uh, speaking of extended family—there's other news you may not have heard," Sully said. "Bart Walker sold the Bar W to Jud Rayburn. 'Course Bart knew I'd jump at a chance to buy land bordering our pastures. But he never would've sold it to me."

"Interesting," Coop returned, tightening his hold on Willow. "The sheriff in Carrizo Springs said Bart stole Willow's ranch because he expected to strike oil. But... drilling on the neighboring ranch went sour. It seems Bart may have screwed himself all around. Willow, are you okay with that? He is Lily's grandpa. But we could try, for Lily's sake, to sue his socks off."

Willow waved her free hand. "He'd have to change a whole lot for me ever to welcome him into Lily's life. If you're leaving it up to me, I say let him keep the ranch down south. Lilybelle and I are leaving our entire past behind, Coop. Soon we won't be Walkers. Lily and I are going to be the best Drummonds we can be."

"You're both perfect as you are," Coop said.

The others circled around Willow, hugging her, and suddenly Sully drew attention to the fact that Gray and Lily had gone to the porch, where his son was showing Lily how to snap together big, colorful plastic blocks.

"Would you look at that?" Coop said with feeling. "Our girl has made her first friend." He trailed a light hand up Willow's back and murmured, "The road to getting here has been a long and winding one, but we're all home at last."

Tilting her head until it touched Coop's shoulder, Willow nodded, but her heart was too full to speak.

* * * * *

第十四章

薇洛凝望着库珀好一阵子，“我想，我们该等等再做决定，看看明天到农场的情况会怎么样。要是你哥反对我回到你的生活，我不会留下的。我的意思是，德拉蒙德三人农场是你的归属之地，你和沙利文有同等的继承权。”“德拉蒙德三人农场就一块地和一幢空房子。你是我爱的女人，是我想共度余生的女人。我俩结婚是咱俩的事，与他人无干，萨利无权干涉。”

薇洛倒希望自己相信他说的，可她心里面就是不踏实。

莉莉在他俩之间动了动，把头靠到了库珀的腿上。她眼睛眨了眨，睁开了，看见是他，又缩了回去。“我想做你的妻子，”薇洛喃喃道，“我最大的愿望就是我俩能成一家人。你知道的，巴特夺了我的农场，我并不遗憾。我现在是进退两难。如果我说，不管萨利赞同还是不赞同我们的婚事，我都不在乎，其实，那是假话……库珀，我当然在乎。我希望，看在你的分上，他能原谅他认为我做了的那些事情。你是我的最爱。我得承认，我以前爱你是有所保留，可我……反正，我愿意嫁给你。”

库珀的眼里洋溢着喜悦的神色。他已经拉着薇洛的手，不过因为她女儿躺在他的腿上，他能做的就是吻几下她的手掌。“我想给你来个更热烈的吻，”他说，“我会的。汽车旅馆要派警察来看看，我们为什么把车停在这儿，还得看车里有没有人，在这之前我还是先去订个房间。你还要套间吗？”

薇洛笑了，“算啦。要不要都一样，太晚了，我们都累了。莉莉还得睡在我们房间，说不定还要跟我们睡一个床，所以呀，今晚就只能睡觉啦。”“要是他们有两个床位的单间，莉莉就可以睡自己的床了。至少我可以把你搂在怀里睡觉。明晚，反正，我们就——”“库珀，这大概是第二次吧，谈起床笫之欢这事，跟你比起来，我还是难于启齿。”

库珀小心地抱起睡得东倒西歪的孩子，放到薇洛的怀里，“你从前可不这样。那天晚上我们在客厅的地板上做爱，你的羞涩去哪儿了？”

她清清嗓子，“我们怎么不记得，我们还先讨论做爱来着。我们不过是……兴之所至，情到深处。做爱是因为我爱你。”“此话正合我意。或许性爱二字让人觉得尴尬，可两人一旦相爱，一切皆出乎自然。两情相悦，交融沟通。”“哇，没想到你还诗兴大发。”薇洛打趣道。“我不只是说说，更能身体力行。”库珀说着话，打开车门，出了驾驶座，走进了汽车旅馆。

他很快就拿着钥匙卡回来了，“我们的房间在后面。我开车过去，等停好车，再把马牵到他们的牲畜栏。”“汽车旅店有牲畜栏？”“所以我知道这地方。它不是家连锁店，是以前一对竞技赛手经营的，专门为巡回赛的男男女女开的，还有那些途经此地的牛仔。”“你走遍了整个州。我对这儿很生疏。”“是吗？蜜月你们去哪儿了？”

薇洛犹豫了，等库珀把车停在马厩和牲口栏外，她都没吭声，“我们没度蜜月，”她终于说道，“泰特和我见了治安法官后，泰特和他爸开车到了卡里索斯普林斯，到了农场。他爸尽力劝说他离婚，泰特拒绝了，可知道这回事已经让我心头火起。可我们毕竟结婚了，第二天我就开着泰特的皮卡离开了。我的婚礼也好，婚姻也罢，没什么浪漫可言。”“我俩一定要去度蜜月。哪怕带上莉莉，我们也能度过愉快的旅行。我想，我们的蜜月得有点纪念意义，得拍些照片，可以留给莉莉，和我们的孩子。”他皱了皱眉，一边绕过去帮薇洛出来，“我们还没讨论生儿育女的事。你还想要孩子吗？”

薇洛的手轻轻地抚摸着库珀衬衣前排的扣子，点了点头，“库珀，我一定要给你生儿育女。”

他紧紧地抓住她的肩膀，小心翼翼，怕碰着怀里睡着的女孩。可他还是给了她个深深的热吻。“我们住十二号房间，”他说道，语气带出点欲火中烧的味儿，“你进房间吧。我把马弄好了，还去要隔壁给她买牛奶吗？你没说你把她有盖的杯子带来了没有。”他递给她房门卡。“听你这口气，好像我们都老夫老妻了。她的杯子我带了，这就去取。她要是醒了，牛奶可以吃到第二天早上。早餐买薄煎饼就好了，最喜欢吃这个。”“在餐厅时，我会去拿个菜单。要不，你想步行去用餐吗？”“我倒不怎么饿。反正我出门带了苹果、奶酪和汉堡包。”“行啦。”库珀把三个袋子放在房间。房内有张特大的床，有个淋浴间，门开着。房间的装饰——褐色加铁锈色，头顶上装有环形的吊灯，显出西方古色古香的韵味。“旅馆剩下的房间就只有特大号的床了。”他掀开床罩。“把莉莉放这儿吧，你睡中间，我就爬到角落去睡。”库珀退向门边，“啊，我差点忘了她的杯子。”

她点点头，在袋子里翻找着，再递给他。“薇洛，我叫萨利把屋子给我们清理打扫一下。他和布莱思盖了新房。要是弄家具的话，我不清楚他们会安排什么家具。原来的家具蛮好的，可你要是不喜欢，我们就换别的。那是你的家，薇洛，我要你在那里幸福。”

她感动了，手指抚摸着他的脖子，“你确定沙利文会欢迎我吧。”

库珀扭过头，再次吻了她的手掌，“我希望你别担心。我俩打小就，怎么说来着，兄弟一般都打打闹闹惯了。”库珀迟疑了一下，“妈妈过世后，他懂事早些。他老大，妈妈做的会计活，他承担了。后来爸爸也走了，我还在读书，管理农场的担子又落在他的肩上。就是到了最近几周，我在你的农场打疫苗、烙印还有商谈价格——我也从没信任过他。我看明白了，我自己行事就像个被宠坏的弟弟。我想我该向他道个歉。我的父母为人体面，富有爱心。我想，萨利和我也该如此。我们可以握手言欢，布莱思相信我们一定可以。”“我也希望能这样。我真的希望能这样。”薇洛看着库珀出了门。门关了，她的心里又开始打鼓。库珀是不是太乐观了？他的哥哥一人经营农场七八年了。他也有理由掌控一切。她叹了口气，吃了两片苹果、一块奶酪，可她真不饿。

薇洛给莉莉穿睡衣，莉莉醒了。她又哭又闹，给她兔子都不管用，薇洛决定让她穿着身上的短裤和衬衣睡觉。但她担心，莉莉的哭泣会吵醒隔壁的房客。他们的房间好在是最后一间，只与一个房间相邻。薇洛想到，要是有个摇摇椅该多好，现在只有将就着用一个坐垫很厚的椅子。

莉莉的哭闹越来越激烈，正好库珀回来了，“嘿，嘿，宝贝，怎么啦？”他从薇洛的膝盖上抱起她，给她喂凉牛奶。她拿着就喝，头靠着库珀的脸，大口大口地，好像顾不过来喘口气。“她真的好渴。”薇洛说道。

小女孩喝完最后一口，把杯子递给妈妈。“她老是把杯子往地上一扔。”薇洛给了莉莉一些奶酪，可女孩头一埋，不要。

但莉莉拍着库珀的肩膀，一边继续拍着他的衬衣，一边清楚又响亮地说，“蓝色。”“我看蓝色快成我的新名字了，没事。可一想，我的蓝色衬衣还最多。”他轻轻地摇着女孩，跟她笑着，“蓝色，说得好，莉莉小姐。”“她现在能把颜色说对，反复讲都不出错，这真了不得。我早就该给她试试彩色画笔了。专家跟我说过，叫我给她反反复复阅读同一个故事，给她看图片，让它们在她脑子里生根。”她摇摇头，“你买的积木，也是个好主意。她喜欢按色彩、大小去堆积，可我不得不把它们丢在农场了。库珀，你进入我们的生活以后，她的进步最快。所以……我都怀疑，把她留在家里，跟我在一起，这是否是上策，说不准这会碍她的成长。”

她给莉莉洗手洗脸，库珀等着。他让她给孩子盖好了被子，才开口道，“养孩子我懂得不多，但是让小孩跟妈妈在一起不可能有什么害处，让她呆在熟悉的环境里。布莱思要是没找到好的收自闭症孩子的走读学校，我们就自己找，找所她能每天回家的。我们可以给她买更多的积木，需要什么都可以买。”

薇洛一只手轻轻地擦了一下眼睛，“你老是让我感动得抹泪。库珀，谢谢你为我们做的一切。我太爱她了。”女孩的眼睛迷迷糊糊地慢慢闭拢了，薇洛梳理着她的卷发。

库珀托起薇洛，抱入怀中，紧紧地搂住她，说道，“谢谢你允许我和她朝夕相处。世上无难事，只怕有心人。亲爱的，你累坏了吧。我在这儿坐着，等她入睡，你可以冲个凉。这会有助于你入睡。”“我还是等到早上再冲凉吧。相信我，睡眠不成问题。”薇洛把她的头伸到库珀的下巴下面，吻了一下他的脖子，“有你在这儿，我感到安全。”她悄悄地说。“别再这样吻我了，否则，我可保证不了你的安全，”他打趣道，扶起她的下巴，吻了吻她的鼻尖，“上床睡吧。我会脱了衬衣和靴子，穿着牛仔裤睡——考虑到我们还有个小床伴儿。“我常常穿旧短裤和T恤睡觉。我换上这些睡觉，不会刺激你的神经吧？”“没有的事，不过我还得提醒你，我睡觉是一丝不挂的。几天前那个夜晚，我们不是一同体验了嘛，我倒感觉这种方式我们应该好好发扬。”库珀挑了挑眉。

薇洛正从行李袋拿睡衣，扭过头，哈哈大笑，“你又来了，狗嘴吐不出象牙的牛仔。我说啊，你就在那儿做你的美梦吧。做了父母之后就不会再说这些淫词秽语了。”她朝他笑笑，走向旁边的浴室。“难道卧室门有锁就因为这个？条条道路通罗马，”他在她身后叫道，几乎就没提高嗓门，“要不然，大家就都是独生子女了。”

她把头伸出浴室间，“随你怎么去想，库珀。可今晚我快累死了，我的头一挨着枕头就会睡着的。“我说的不是今晚，而是计划未来。你尽管放心。”

薇洛自个儿笑了。这么多年来，她谁也不靠，就靠她自己，压在她肩上的担子突然一下子轻了许多。

薇洛洗掉了旅途的风尘与汗水，走出浴室，感觉舒适多了。这时，库珀已经鼾声微微。她站了会儿，欣赏与她同床共眠的男人裸露在外的躯干。幸运的天平终于偏向了她这边。她啪地关掉灯，爬在两个睡着的身体间——两个她人生中最重要的人。她虽然告诉了库珀她会很快入睡，但她却醒着，躺在那儿担心这考虑那。她不知道到了德拉蒙德三人农场，她还能不能那么幸运。沙利文·德拉蒙德是个怪人。她是爱库珀，但她不能也不愿意夹在他们兄弟中间。

第二天早上，阳光照射到了床上，她醒了。夜里不知什么时候，库珀的一只手搂着她了。莉莉的睡姿从未这么放松过，占去了三分之一的空间。在农场，薇洛常常是天刚亮就起来干活了。

薇洛一动不动。在库珀的怀中醒来，这简直是她梦寐以求的。

但她不是唯一惯于早起的人，“早安，亲爱的，”她的耳边响起了沙哑的声音。库珀放开她，伸出手臂，“我再次冒着被讥笑为‘诗兴大发’的风险……‘在晨光映照下，你的秀发宛如金丝。’你晚上睡觉编辫子吗？薇洛，你有好多我还不了解——很多小事儿和细节。我急不可待想要知道。”库珀抚摸了她一根发辫的末梢。

快乐充满了薇洛的心房。她在他怀里动了一下，理了理自己的头发。她的手摸着他长着胡须的脸，吻着他，深情款款的吻。“嗯……我可以每天早晨都应付这样的早安。”

美妙的时刻戛然而止。莉莉突然坐起来，揉揉眼睛，一手抱着毛茸茸的兔子。她张望着，似乎对环境了然于心，她爬到妈妈的身上，拍拍库珀光着的胸脯，用比任何时候还清晰的嗓音说道，“没有蓝色。”

库珀乐不可支，把她抛了起来。“没有蓝色。莉莉宝贝，你说的真对，我今天是没穿蓝色的衬衣。稍等啊，跟妈妈呆会儿，我冲个凉，穿上另一件蓝衬衣，专门为你而穿。”

他赶紧下床，抓起行李包。

薇洛拥抱着女儿，“两个字。你完完整整说了两个字。你让妈妈高兴死了。”

欢乐的眼泪毫无掩饰地流着。突然，女儿摸着她的脸，生平头一遭，叫了声“妈妈”。“啊，对，对，对。我是妈妈，你是莉莉贝尔。这是兔子先生。我们换件干净的衬衣好不好哇？”薇洛惊叹女儿的变化，她让幸福的眼泪流着。“红色，”女孩道，拉着衬衣，她身上的衬衣。好像那些词就一直存在她的脑子里，一下子奔流而出。“太好了。宝贝，我们就让词语的闸门一直开着。”

莉莉再次望望周围，把手指向家里的厨房那边，“吃。”她说道。

薇洛死死地拥抱住她，“先把衣服穿上，再赶紧冲个凉，我们就去吃。喜欢薄煎饼不？”

莉莉稍稍摇晃了一下，薇洛好似明白，这是点头同意的意思。这一切的变化跨步太大了，薇洛的心充溢着快乐。原来离开农场是大家的福分。只有一人例外，沙利文·德拉蒙德，他的手上拥有毁坏这一切的杀伤力。

库珀出了浴室，薇洛拿着一件干净的红色T恤。她给莉莉穿上，搭配黄色短裤，有红色花饰的裤兜，“该你冲凉了，”库珀说，弯腰把一包脏衣服放进旅行袋的一个带拉链的包里。“我听你说薄煎饼。你去冲凉，要是她没意见，我给她穿鞋袜。你洗完了，我把包拿到车上去，我先结账，再到餐馆找你。”“你早就计划好了。”薇洛笑了，“我希望你今早上听见莉莉说出的新词，”她满怀希望地补充道，“新词，新词呀。妈妈是一个，你简直没法相信有多么……听起来有多美妙。”薇洛鼻子一酸，抓了张手纸。“喂，太不可思议了！这才刚刚开始。你没事吧？”他问道，托起薇洛的脸，一边打量她那双忧虑的蓝眼睛。“专家告诉我，有的自闭症孩子，不会讲话，把自己封闭在自我的世界里。我担心莉莉会这样。啊，我多希望今天早上的状态能永远保持。库珀，我撒不来谎，我忧心忡忡，不知道到了德拉蒙德三人农场会发生什么事。即使你哥哥不认为我配不上你，我真正又能带给我们的婚姻什么呢？”“什么意思？把你带过来不就结了！”“你真会说话。你嫂子是医生。我是个大学辍学的。”“那又怎么样？有什么了不起的。”库珀把他和莉莉的包放在门边。他把孩子搁床上，手里拿着袜子，蹲下身，“我似乎无力为你解忧消愁。显然，只有到了那儿，大家见了面，才能让脑子静下来。到了十点，你的担心就会一去不复返了。”

薇洛真希望自己别太忧心，但生活给了她太多的坎坷，她什么事总朝最坏处想。她跳到淋浴的水龙头下，尽最大努力让热水冲洗掉她的忧愁。她并没带化妆品，但她把头发打理得颇有光泽。她穿了唯一的一件紧身裤，白色的，再搭配件鲜黄的T恤。颜色虽说旧了，但这颜色让她精神振奋。“你美极了，”库珀赞道。他不只是赞誉，还吻了她，薇洛简直心花怒放，“十分钟后餐馆见。尽量靠后点，占个靠窗的位子，向外看可以看到兔子。我觉得莉莉会喜欢。”

薇洛牵着女儿的手，离开房间，走进了早晨暖暖的阳光里。

莉莉的确喜爱兔子，可吃饭就没那么乖了，但最后他们个个吃得开开心心，八点半已经上路了。

车越开越近了，库珀看见薇洛眼里的忧愁也在增加。他希望他能说服她，不管萨利怎么样，欢不欢迎他俩，这真的无所谓。薇洛和莉莉就是他的命运，他豁出去了。

距离洪多还有几英里，库珀看了眼薇洛，“你想没想过再去修课，拿到做老师的学位？”

她一个劲地摇头，“我脱离学习的习惯有五年了。我……不知道自己能否回到学习状态，现在又添了莉莉，更不用说还要交学费。你说过可以贷款，可终归要还的。”“上网络课怎么样？我在竞技圈遇到几个小伙子，也是辍学的。他们把笔记本电脑放在房车里，一样上课。你要感兴趣，我们可以研究计划一下，咨询一下辅导员，问问贷款的事。我必须郑重申明，你有没有学位，我才不管，可我觉得你自己倒挺在乎的。”“是呀，我离拿到学位本来就不远了。自从莉莉贝尔被确诊后，我就想，我要是有教学学位，那么我也会比较容易拿到特殊教育的学分。我可以帮助她以及像她一样的孩子。”“如果这是你想要的，我们现在就可以确定下来。”

在他们的旅途中，薇洛的眼里第一次闪烁着从内心流露出来的喜悦。库珀塞了张CD，他们听着里巴的歌曲《心有所动》。歌词正好传达了两人的心思……

车开到了洪多郊区，薇洛又紧张了。库珀的皮卡转了个大弯，开进了卵石铺就的车道，道路两边种着白杨树。这就是德拉蒙德三人农场的入口了。家，这个库珀出生长大的地方，就在正前方。可他看见农场辟出了一条新路，路的尽头有个邮箱，路的两旁种着更小的树。库珀想，这条路应该是通向萨利的新屋。他看着后视镜，来了个急转弯。“但愿没把‘传奇’和‘拉斯特’颠簸得太厉害了。”

他一边把车停在环形车道上，一边打着口哨。“这四周有些房舍和《建筑文摘》上的房舍很像。”

房子坐落在山上，俯瞰绿色的山谷，谷里点缀着前额长着白斑的牛群。这栅栏古色古香的，比薇洛农场里库珀在铁桩上拉了铁丝的栅栏好多了。薇洛的房子有门廊，这个家也有门廊，四周雪松环绕，屋顶上点缀着玻璃尖顶。他见房子外放了些柳条编制的室外家具，中间摆放着一个火炉。“还真是的，”他说道，“萨利是要做给我看，好像他拼死拼命地干，也只能勉强维持生计。”“库珀，你要在车上坐一上午吗？”薇洛问道，“有人出门廊了。”

他收回了他的视线，打开车门，“是布莱思，还有格雷，他俩的儿子。”

库珀爬出车，绕过车头，打开薇洛的门。她的手指颤巍巍的，结果还是他给她解开了安全带，还有莉莉的。

布莱思和她儿子跑下石阶，“你们总算回来了！库珀，干什么不再来个电话？昨天你打电话说，你要把薇洛从巴士上接下来，我们一直如坐针毡。”

库珀注意到，他的哥哥走出屋子时，步履缓慢些。

萨利的手插在牛仔裤的前兜里，下了台阶，面无表情。

布莱思先拥抱了库珀，随后是薇洛。薇洛牵着莉莉的一只手，女孩的另一只手牢牢地抓住她随时相伴的兔子。

在沙利文走近之前，兄弟俩一直互相审视着。两人面对面时，萨利腾出右手，在弟弟的肩上友好地拍了一下，“欢迎你回家，库珀。早该回来了。”随后，他面朝薇洛，“如果这个顽固的讨厌鬼是因为你才回家的，那我……我们谢谢你。”萨利说着，一手放在他妻子的肩上，另一只手伸给薇洛。“我，啊，其实是库珀自己拿的主意。”

布莱思弯下腰，“我猜，这位就是莉莉贝尔喽。”她对孩子笑着，孩子正紧紧地抱住妈妈的腿。“这是我们儿子，格雷。宝贝，给你的堂妹准备的礼物呢？对，未来的堂妹。”她说道，对薇洛笑容满面。

这个瘦瘦的男孩长着一双大大的眼睛和蓬乱的头发。他慢慢地走过来，和莉莉相隔一英尺时，递给她一个玩具。一匹彩虹色的马，生着浅银灰色的鬃毛和尾巴，跟她在彩图绘画书上图画的很像。“给你的，”格雷嘟囔道，“库珀叔叔爱马。他要在德拉蒙德三人农场养马。”

大家的眼光一下转移到莉莉，薇洛屏住呼吸。谁都没想到，莉莉接过玩具，朝送礼物的微微一笑，“的格雷”她吐词清楚。

两个女人冲着孩子微笑。尤其是薇洛，因为萨利和布莱思不明白，这对莉莉是多大的进步。她不仅接受了陌生人的礼物，还能叫出礼物的名称。对一个缺乏面部表情的女孩来说，一个羞涩的微笑本身就是个珍贵的礼物。薇洛猛地眨巴着眼睛，让泪水不要流出来。

库珀专注地看着他的侄儿，“格雷，我还不知道我在德拉蒙德三人农场会不会养马，还得看情况。我从前养过马，这倒是没错。”

动物仿佛心里有灵犀，这时拖车里的马嘶鸣起来。路对面，栅栏里的马也遥相呼应。库珀一转身，看见好些马在栅栏里跑圈。他内心的震惊慢慢地传遍全身，“萨利，这群马很像爸死后我卖掉的那批马。”“你把它们卖掉之后，你就不回家了，后来就生气地去参加什么竞技赛了，你是想说这个吗？”他的哥哥问道，语气缓和。

布莱思戳了一下他的肋骨，“我们不是说好了，不提过去的事了嘛。”

薇洛觉得萨利一手扯着耳朵的姿势很亲切，很像库珀，“我又把它们买回来了，”哥哥说道，“我从来就不相信，你会离开德拉蒙德三人农场后，就再也不回来了。不过，去年你就退出了竞技赛，但还是没有回家，我倒是开始怀疑自己的判断了。”

感激之言堵在库珀的喉咙，他结巴着，一步跨过去，拥抱了他哥哥，虽说有些尴尬。他后退几步，抱起莉莉和她的玩具，另一只手搂着薇洛的腰，“你们要欢迎我回家，我就一辈子呆在家里了。我们还没正式结婚，但薇洛已答应嫁给我了。我希望，越快越好。莉莉需要特殊照理，她这事比我俩的事更重要。但我要好好干活，养家糊口。”他发誓道，冲着薇洛开心地笑着。

萨利和布莱思满含深情地望了一下对方，随即沙文向前走近薇洛。“薇洛，”他说道，“你也许已有所耳闻，德拉蒙德家族的人就是脾气暴。不过，在你遭遇不顺的时候，我还对你讲了那些话，是有些过分了。我希望你原谅。我尤其知道，失去心爱之人时的那种感受。我真的很抱歉。”

薇洛咬住上嘴唇，“我原谅你了，”她说，“我爱库珀。”她靠库珀更近了些，可已经说不下去了。

萨利点点头，他的目光瞬间停留在其他五人的身上，“这有四位已经是我们德拉蒙德家的人了，还有两位即将成为我们中的一员。库珀，我正好聘请了位律师。爸爸死后，我老觉得德拉蒙德三人农场的名字别扭。我们通过法律手段改改农场的名字和商标如何？库珀，你要觉得行，我们直接用回原来的名字，德拉蒙德农场。”

库珀的手臂抓紧了薇洛，“你是在征求我的意见，而不是在命令我？”“布莱思总是提醒我，我不是你的爸爸。我俩在这里是平等的，库珀。”萨利说的时候，显得有点激动，还有点低声下气的。

库珀挺直了身子，“要我说，这名字听起来不错——还有，不论是你还是我给家里添了人口之后，名字还可以用。”他说道，斜眼瞟了一下女士们。

他最后轻轻地搂抱了一下薇洛，把莉莉放到格雷那里。兄弟俩开始查看两个牲口群，路的一边是牛群，另一边是马群。“真是太好了，”薇洛对布莱思嘟囔道，“我一直特别担心和库珀一起回这儿来。我打定了主意，不管怎么样，我绝不会阻碍两兄弟。”

布莱思挽过薇洛的手，“我好高兴没有出现那样的局面。他们去做德拉蒙德男人们该做的事了，我俩何不进去看看日历，在夏末给婚礼挑个日子？那老房子，现在就归你和库珀了，里面有一个极好的新娘楼梯。你知道吧，他俩的父母，马特和莉莉，就是在那儿结的婚？我和萨利也是。或者，你们也可以预定个教堂，我们能做到。”布莱思说的时候，两人一起进了门。“老屋挺好的，库珀觉得好就行。谢谢你和沙利文对我和莉莉的热情接待，让我们有家的感觉。”她说着，声音哽咽。“你们本来就是一家人，”布莱思说，语气坚决，“库珀说莉莉取的是他妈妈的名字。那可不是寻常之举，薇洛。啊，我答应过帮他找个学校，教孩子语言能力和认知能力。”布莱思从书橱抽屉里抽出一叠小册子，递给薇洛，“等你们安定下来，就可以比较一下各自的设施，选一家你觉得最适合莉莉的学校。有个培训方案我很中意，就在格雷现在念书的那家私立学校。这样，格雷年长点，又是哥哥，可以看着点莉莉。”

两个男的回了屋，库珀正好听见了他嫂子的建议。库珀搂着薇洛，和她脸挨着脸，“薇洛，这建议怎么样？嘿，薇洛告诉你没有，或许她自己也要重返校园，拿到她的教师学位。她有可能会教格雷或莉莉。”

布莱思和萨利马上表示祝贺，并表示完全支持。“这一切好得让人难以置信，”薇洛喃喃道，手里紧紧握着这些小册子，“一天前，我原来的公公还弄得我无家可归，生活完全没了着落。可眼下我正站在我这个新的大家庭中间，一个真正的家，”她低声道，站起身去吻库珀的脸，“我已经感动得没有语言了。”“啊，说起大家庭，还有桩事，你们可能还没听说过，”萨利说道，“巴特·沃克将烙印商标W卖给了尤德·雷伯恩了。巴特当然知道，我肯定会抓住机会，买下挨着我们牧场的那块地。可他就不愿意卖给我。”“挺有意思的，”库珀回应道，紧紧搂了一下薇洛。卡里索斯普林斯的警官告诉我，巴特骗走了薇洛的农场，因为他想在那里钻出石油。可是……挨着的那家农场，钻石油泡汤了。巴特有可能是瞎忙活一通了。薇洛，这对你没什么吧？他是莉莉的爷爷。但为了莉莉，我们可以告倒他。”

薇洛松开一只手，“如果让他进入莉莉的生活，他有太多太多的东西得改变。要让我说，南边那农场就给他好了。莉莉贝尔和我要把我们过去的一切完全丢下，库珀。不久之后，我们就不是沃克家的人了。莉莉和我要做最棒的德拉蒙德家族的人。”“你俩已经很棒了。”库珀说道。

别的人都围着薇洛，拥抱她。突然，萨利说格雷和莉莉已去了门廊，他的儿子正在教莉莉搭建又大又漂亮的塑料积木。“你们大家瞧瞧？”库珀动情地说，“我们的女孩已经结识了她的第一个朋友。”他轻轻地抚摸着薇洛的背，嘟囔道，“到这儿的路虽说漫长而曲折，但我们终于回家了。”

薇洛偏着头，靠着库珀的肩膀上。她点点头，心里有千言万语，不知从何说起。

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