作者：张红岩
出版社：西安交通大学出版社
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
新东方·10天搞定TOEFL作文试读：
自序
告别新东方讲坛有日，闲逛书店，仍见不少青少年才俊，仗义疏财，暴敛TOEFL学习书籍，情之迫，心之切，比已往教过的十数万众有过之而无不及。于是顿悟：我不在江湖，而江湖尤在，TOEFL之门侧依然白骨皑皑，于是便生勉为其难之念。红岩愚钝，5年青春韶华仅铸得一剑，这剑也怪，虽无倚天之锋，屠龙之利，但破这TOEFL写作之门却刚好合适。因此剑功能单一、外强中干，常恐为名门正派所不齿，原本只想执教之时与众人共勉，过后便毅然弃之，却偏有后学者孜孜以求。孔子讲为师之道乃“知无不言，言无不尽”，佛家亦崇尚为有恐惧者做“无畏布施”，于是不敢懈怠，编著此书讲述快速破解TOEFL写作之道。时值TOEFL考试改革，iBT考试的写作部分已分为两篇，本书仅针对其中的独立写作部分。
学写英语文章如练武功，需内外兼修方可大成。但因门下弟子多数都只有三五月时间，为应急之便，曾传人数个唬人招数，不料竟能屡建奇功。这道理也许金庸先生笔下的郭靖大侠感受最深，其实郭大侠初试降龙十八掌时功力尚浅，却也足够吓跑小贼无数。当然即便是这唬人招数，也需些许时日方能演练熟悉，而若能同时兼修内功心法，即增强遣词造句的基本能力，效果更佳。
本书以实战招式为重点，边讲边练，讲习文章的审题立意、布局谋篇、行文策略、实用技巧等要招，语言上务求简洁、有效。书中引用的范文和部分段落除标明出处外，均出自众多新东方学员的作文习作。
使用本书时，建议从头到尾依次阅读，同时务必认真做各章节练习。考前可以根据实际情况就个别章节进行精读，那样效果更佳。
谨望修习本书者勿以本书所言为真学问，勿花太多青春光阴于此。建议因人而异，少可3日，多至10日为限，务必吃透要点，待试后务请焚之一炬；切勿因得分尚可而生骄矜之心，从而蠡测天下文章，须知江湖险恶，山外有山。
本书所言，不堪也无意接受历史检验，肯盼有朝一日再无人问津。届时必为各类留学考试失势之时，汉语托福考试盛行之机，汉语语言文化为世人景仰的中华盛世之际，祈盼这一天早早到来！
感谢新东方俞老师在本书出版过程中所给予的大力支持和殷切鼓励，并感谢参与本书内容部分整理工作的汍国华、邓竣竣以及提供范文的众多新东方学员。
谨以此书献给关爱我和我关爱的人们！张红岩第一章新TOEFL作文考试概要
讲习TOEFL写作之初，曾遇一位仁兄。他多年供职于国内某大报社，每日编辑英文稿件，英文写作功底不浅，备考TOEFL作文，即TWE（Test of Written English）之际，仍不耻下问于我，问可否传一绝招。于是给他量身订做了七日计划，劝其务必演习6篇文章。不料他骄气太盛，只写了一篇文章，结果正式考试只得了4.5分（当时满分是6分）。虽然这比普通文理科的4分要求还高了0.5分，但对于一个申请大众传媒专业的人来说最低要求应该是5分，因此功亏一篑，即便总分是657分，此君也不得不再一次报考，再次经受无聊考试对人们身心的煎熬。
此例足以说明考前练习写作的重要性，同时也阐明了作文成绩合格的必要性。作文在TOEFL考试中的战略意义在已经实行机考CBT（Computer Based Test）的考区尤为重要。目前，包括欧美在内的全球绝大部分考区都采用CBT方式，在这种考试中，考生的作文成绩将不再单独列出，所以绝不会再存在某君TWE只有4分，TOEFL却得了满分的现象。作文计入总分后，所占比重达到总分的近五分之一。
在新TOEFL中，听说读写这四项技能各占总分的四分之一，写作分成两部分：INTEGRATED WRITING（综合性写作）和INDEPENDENT WRITING （独立写作），其中综合性写作部分表现为听后感和读后感，应该说这是客观衡量考生实际英语写作水平的一项有力举措。如何在独立写作部分获得高分是本书的主要任务，对于独立写作部分，其命题方式和考试要求与现行考试基本一致。
就以前的笔考PBT（Paper Based Test）而言，ETS的统计数据表明，中国考区历年考试中都有近三分之一考生得不到4分。这些分数不足4分的人，依我之见，还可细分为四类人：
1．知识欠缺，非天才而又不努力的初中生；
2．努力不足的高中生；
3．不努力的大学生或更高学历者；
4．多年不接触英语又努力不足的工作人士（含所有学历者）。
这些实际情况给我们的启发是，在TOEFL作文考试面前，学历的高低与最终得分之间并不能建立必然联系，惟一必然的事是“天道酬勤”，所有人都需要相当程度的努力，少则数日，多则数月，只要努力都有进步。惟一不同的是，修习得法者能事半功倍，效率更高。言归正传，孙子曰：“知己知彼，百战不殆”，考场亦如战场，所以我们征服TOEFL作文的首要任务就是熟悉考试及其评分标准。一、考试概况与要点分析
TOEFL作文即TWE（Test of Written English），自1987年开始加入到TOEFL考试中，算做考试一部分，以增强该考试考查学生英语水平的程度。多数大学随即对考生做出TWE分数的要求，普通文理科的标准为至少4分，该标准也随专业和学校不同有所区别，名校和偏向文科类的专业要求更高些，一般为5分，也有要求3分或3.5分的，比如艺术类研究生，澳大利亚、加拿大很多本科专业。当然也有不做任何要求的，具体到读者要报考的学校的需求，建议到欲报考学校的网站上查询确证。目前已经在我国实行的TOEFL iBT考试中，写作已经成为总分中必不可少的一部分，分值为30分，占总分120的四分之一。
时间：写作部分被安排在iBT的第四部分，也就是整场考试的最后50分钟进行，考到这个时候，考生已经经历了约3个小时的脑力和体力的考验，如果在休息期间补充了一些如巧克力之类的能量食品的话，考到这里还可以坚持得下去。这时候进行写作要求考生基本功要好、耐性要强才能有好的发挥。由于综合写作部分要先听文章再写作，消耗的能量较大，最后的独立写作部分考生一定要找回驾轻就熟的感觉，这时的你就像刚刚大战群枭的侠士一般，在内力已然不济的情况下还要最后一次出手，用的应该是你最熟练、最玄幻的一招，终可吓退诸位小贼，哼着小曲走出沙场。经验表明，这最后一招的训练，着实要经过一番辛苦训练的。
工具：iBT作文部分可以可以选择笔答和键盘录入两种选择。若参加机考则有笔答和键盘输入两种选择，打字速度慢者可以用铅笔完成，只不过因为作文卷需要邮寄所以获得分数的时间要比键盘输入者晚两周。经验表明，对于一个英文打字很熟练的考生来讲，键盘输入的效率更高一些。考生选择哪种方式，需要自己根据自己能力，权衡利弊作出选择。
字数：新TOEFL作文没有明确规定考生应该写多少单词，但经验表明200词以下的文章很难达到四分的及格线，一般文章要写到250词左右，好文章字数一般在300~350词左右，此标准需经过训练方能达到。写作时字数多少无法细数，要从篇幅上判断，正常情况大家每行写10~12个单词，每行超过14词或少于8词都不合适，这样答卷纸正面写满一般在230词上下，反面再写一半就有300多个单词了。
文体：正规书面文体，绝对不可使用像“It's”、“I'll”等非正规文体的表达，也不可使用类似dorm，pro等口语中的词汇，学习TOEFL期间要注意尽量不用TOEFL听力中的俗语、俚语，而应该注意模仿TOEFL阅读中的遣词造句。具体如何把握文体特征，第四章有详述。
题目：对笔考而言，作文题目每次必换，偶尔有类似但绝不重复。机考的作文题目事先给出，见于报考时发放的小册子内，题目定期更新，最新题目可以在ETS官方网站上下载（www.toefl.org），作文题库总数量目前是200多个。考试时随机选中一个，猜中题目的概率小于1%。虽然题目稍显多了些，但如果对策得当，能以不变应万变，就会来者不惧。二、评分标准请先阅读ETS在考生须知中给出的中英文版评分标准。Score: 5An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:
• Effectively addresses the topic and task
• Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
• Displays unity, progression, and coherence
• Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors这个档次的短文大致上完成了下面任务：
• 有效切题或解决了任务
• 组织结构有序，使用清晰合适的解释、例证和／或细节
• 表现出整体统一性、渐进和前后一致
• 表现出稳定的语言应用能力、句式多样性、合理选词和使用成语，尽管可能有小的词汇或语法错误Score: 4An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:
• Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated
• Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
• Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections
• Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning本档次的短文大致完成了下面任务：
• 很好地切题和解决了问题，尽管有些点没有充分展开
• 组织结构较好，使用合适和充分的解释、例证和／或细节
• 表现出统一性、渐进和前后一致，尽管偶尔有些多余、离题或不清晰的联系
• 表现出语言应用能力，表现出句法多样性和相当的词汇量，尽管偶尔有明显的结构上、词形或使用成语与要表达意思不相干等小错误Score: 3An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following:
• Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
• Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
• May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning
• May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary这个层次的短文以下面一个或多个为特征：
• 使用一些解释、例证和／或细节来解决题目或任务
• 表现出统一性、渐进和前后一致，尽管意思衔接偶尔不明晰
• 表现出在句式形式和选词上缺乏清晰度或偶尔意思模糊
• 表现出精确但有限的句式结构和词汇Score: 2An essay at this level may reveal one or more of the following weaknesses:
• Limited development in response to the topic and task
• Inadequate organization or connection of ideas
• Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations, or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task
• A noticeably inappropriate choice of words or word forms
• An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage这个档次的短文可能有下面一个或多个弱点：
• 不能很好切题或解决任务
• 结构不充分或意思连接不通畅
• 用来阐述结论的例证、解释或细节不合适或不充分
• 明显的选词不当或词形选择有误
• 积累多个句子结构或句式应用上的错误Score: 1An essay at this level is seriously flawed by one or more of the following weaknesses:
• Serious disorganization or underdevelopment
• Little or no detail, or irrelevant specifics, or questionable responsiveness to the task
• Serious and frequent errors in sentence structure or usage这个档次的短文严重有缺陷因为下面一个或多个弱点：
• 严重的结构不清晰，文章没有展开
• 很少或没有细节或无关细节，或者对问题的回答值得置疑
• 严重且经常出现的句子结构和句式应用错误Score: 0An essay at this level merely copies words from the topic, rejects the topic, or is otherwise not connected to the topic, is written in a foreign language, consists of keystroke characters or is blank.这个档次的短文仅从题目中复制词汇，或排斥题目，或者与题目无关，以外语写作，有些键入的字符或者是空白的。三、1~5分文章范文作文题目Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.1．范文一（5分）
There are certain considerations or factors that everyone takes into account in a relationship. People may look for honesty, altruism, understanding, loyalty, being thoughtful etc! Everyone would more or less wish that the person s/he is dealing with, has some of these virtues above. Putting them in an order according to their importance, however can be very subjective and relative.
When someone asks him/herself the question "What do I consider to be the most important thing in my relationship?" the answer depends on a lot of factors such as how his/her earlier relationships were.
After stating that everyone's opinion can be different about this, for me honesty, in other words, always telling the truth is the most important consideration in a relationship. Opposite of this is inarguably lying and if someone needs to lie, either s/he is hiding something or is afraid of telling me something.
In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I'm dealing with is honest. Even though s/he thinks that s/he did something wrong that I wouldn't like, s/he'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore, if the person doesn't think I can handle the truth, there's no point to continuing that relationship.
Although I would like to see altruistic, understanding, thoughtful and loyal behavior from people, an instance of the opposite of these behaviors would not upset me as much as dishonesty would. Among all the possible behaviors, dishonesty is the only one for me that terminates how I feel about a person's reliability. Therefore honesty would be my first concern and the most important consideration in a relationship.2．范文二（4分）
Always telling the truth in any relationship is really the most important consideration for many reasons. I could say that when you lie to someone, this person will not trust you anymore and what is a relationship based on? Trust, confidence, so the sense of relationship is being lost. Another point is that if the true is ommited once, it will surely appear sometime, somewhere and probably in the most unexpected way, causing lots of problems for the ones involved. So, the truth is the basis for everything.
First, confidence is the most important aspect of a friendship or a marriage, or anything like that, so, once it is lost, the whole thing goes down in a way that no one can bear it. To avoid losing confidence, there is only one way, telling the truth, lying will just help throwing it away. For example, a couple decided to go out on the weekend, but the man has a party to go with his friends to where he can not take his girlfriend and then he lies to her saying that he is sick and can not go to the date. She undertands him and they do not see each other in that weekend, but he goes to the party and has much fun. Suppose on monday, the girl talks to a friend that saw him at the party and asked why did not she go with him. She found out the true and all confidence was lost, the basis for their relation is now gone and what happens next is that they break up or if they do not, he will persist on lyes and someday it will end.
What happened to this couple is very common around here and many relationships, even friends and marriages end because of something like that. Some may argue that lying once or another will not interfere anything and it is part of a relation, but I strongly disagree, the most important thing is the true, even if it is to determine the end of a relation, it must be told. There are more chances to end something lying than saying what really happened.3．范文三（3分）
Some people believe that it is one of the most important value in many relationships to tell the truth all the time. However, it cannot be always the best choice to tell the truth in many situatioins. Sometimes white lies are indispensible to keep relationships more lively and dilightly. There are some examples to support this idea.
Firstly, in the relationships between lovers, it is often essential to compliment their lovers on their appearance and their behavior. Even though they do not think that their boyfriend or girlfriend looks good on their new shoes and new clothes, it will probably diss them by telling the truth. On the other hand, little compliments will make them confident and happy making their relationship more tight.
Secondly, parents need to encourage their children by telling lies. Even if they are doing bad work on studying or exercising, telling the truth will hurt their hearts. What they need is a little encouraging words instead of truthful words.
Thirdly, for some patients telling them their current state of their desease will probably desperate them. It is accepted publically not to let the patients know the truth. They may be able to have hope to overcome their desease without knowing the truth.
In conclusion, it is not always better to tell the truth than lies. Some lies are acceptable in terms of making people's life more profusely. Not everybody has to know the truth, and it will lead them more happier not knowing it. In these cases, white lies are worth to be regarded as a virtue of people's relationships.4．范文四（2分）
Recently, there is a big debate on the issue that telling the truth or not is the most important consideration in the relationship between people. For my experience, I think telling a truth is the most important consideration in people's relationship. In the following, I will illustrate my opinion by two reasons.
First of all, honest make the trust stronger between friends or colleages. As we know, if people tell a lie to others he will not be trusted. When he tell a truth, others will believe that he tells a lie. For example, a person who is honest to others, can get real help and get trust of others.
Secondly, telling a lie always makes things worse not only in work but also in family life. When somebody do something wrong in his job he should annouce his mistake to his manager. If he don't do that others may continue their jobs base on the mistake. Consequently, the work will be worse and worse.
On the contrary, sometimes it is better to tell a lie to others, such as telling a lie to a patient. As we know, the sick become worse when a cancer patient know his illness. A good way to protect their life is to tell a lie. So that many doctors will not tell the truth to a dying patient.
To sum up, people should tell the truth to maintain their relationship with other people, although sometimes people have to tell a lie. People can get trust when they are honest to others.5．范文五（1分）
Nowadays, many people think that the people who always telling the true is the most inportant consideration in any relationship between human. but another think that is necessary to tell some lies. It is seldom to reach the same issue. I agree with the first thinking because of the following reasons.
First fo all, we all live in the realized world, people can respect you unless you want to use correct method to communicate with other people. It is very important, especially in business, if you want to recieve the good resulit, you must tell the ture about your own so that gain the considement.
Secondly, if you are honest manlwoman, many people may be want to make friend with you. You can have more chance to communate with other people. you may be gain more information from them.
However, sometimes we must speak some lie. for examlpe, when our relatives have heavy illness such as cancer, we couldn't telling them the ture. because that not good for their health, and may be affect their life.
In conclusion, telling the ture is the people good behavire. we must require most of people to tell the ture. thus, we can see the better world in our life unless we always tell the ture.四、评分过程
TOEFL作文的评分是一个由40~80位北美大学或大学预科的英语讲师组成的阅卷组来完成的，阅卷人提前接受ETS的特殊培训，按照上面的六分制来评判，评分采用总体表现法（overall performance）评判，即看总体表达的好坏，不会过分拘泥于拼写、标点、词汇用法等错误。每篇作文都由两个阅卷人打分，每个阅卷人所给的分数均为整数。如果两个评分一致，自然该分数就成为最终得分；如果两个阅卷人给出的评分相差不超过一分，则取其平均值；分歧如果达到2分，这是极其罕见的，则由所在阅卷组组长定夺。在机考中，两个评分人中的一个会被计算机软件替代，由一个叫做E-RATER的程序来完成。ETS的调查报告表明，E-RATER与人的评判在97%的情况下都是一样的。
下面请大家阅读一篇由非英语国家的学生写的考试作文，边读边就文章内容、组织结构、语法用词等方面进行尽可能公正的评判。之后再看考试机构给出的分析报告，这将有助于我们写作自己的文章。五、考场例文评析1．作文题目
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
例文（3分）
Right now adults have different points of view about live. Independent from their parents as soon as possible or continue to lo live with their parents. Live with your parents have many differents advantage. First, some people don't want to have resposabilities. they want their parents still take the desicion For example. House's responsibilities or pays Secound, When peoples live with their parents they dont expend a lot of money for haouse or food. I Third, they belief that their family is a great company. But in the other hand, when people live along have important advantage. For example. They! ive independient, they dont heve, limitation in their own house. They dont need to negotiate with other persons or fami! y. Morover, they have a graet oportunity to learn about how administarte a house, amd what is the real value of the money. They can understand everytuhing about responsibilities in their house. Finally They have more freedom.
Both live independient and live with your parents have many different disadvantage. On 1 the first points of view, live independient, the most important problem is money and expensive. For example, right now young adults need to find a good job for live in a good place I because rents are expensive. It is the same with food and services. They need to have a excellent imcome to live in good conditions. Also, they need to work in the house along because dont have company. They need to clean, do the laundry, buy the food, and cook along. Although people think live independient. have a huge sacrifies. also live with their parents it is difficult and have a lot of disadvantage. For example, when people live with thier parents nave many different limitation with activities in the houss, every time need to negociate with your family in addition.2．分析报告
Development:
The essay is somewhat developed and is longer than the average essay with a score of 3.
Organization:
It has a coherent organization based on describing the pros and cons of living apart from one's parents and lving with them, with supporting points. In some cases, however, this approach leads to redundancy, especially toward the end of the essay.
Language Use:
Even discounting typographical mistakes, the various errors clearly reveal weakness in command of language ("Live with your parents have many differents advantage", "the most important problem is... expensive",). Meaning is also sometimes obscured ("house's resonsabilities or pays", "they need to work in the house along because dont have company").六、小结与练习练习
品评他人文章能给考生自己启发。请阅读下面六篇文章并尝试打分和评价，答案见附录。
Topic: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.Essay one
Independence! Who doesn't want independence? But the bigger question is how much of all independence is being discussed here? Generally, when teenagers grow up, their needs and habit of living change. Some would like their parents to be in control of the major decisions of their lives, while on the other hand, some would not like their parents to be involved in any sort of decision making process of their lives. In my opinion, the young adults should always consult their parents as their guides. I will try to demonstrate my point in the following paragraphs.
Let's assume a teenager grows up into a young adult. Now a major decision that he/she might have had to make was to what college/university they were going to attend. If we assume that the person seek complete independence from the early age, then they are generally going to make the decision themselves. But even if they made this decision by themself, what is the probability that this is the best desicion. We all would agree that the best lesson learned is from a mistake, but why even let that happen? This is the most important decision they would have to mae so far, and if they don't ask around, if they don't look at the wider picture, how are they supposed to end up at their very best opportunity? This IS what is known as a making/breaking point because this decision of theirs can make or break a very powerful potential future.
Now, suppose they passed the first make/break point. Then comes another one when they are going to marry. Normally, in the western culture, the man and the woman choose their marriage partners themselves, so this is not much of an important issue here. But, what about the cultures that predominantly have arranged marriages? in that case, choosing a husband or a wife could be a huge decision, because generally the marriages are not as easily broken as in the western culture. So, when it comes to this point, one would definitely want to know their parents thinking and their previous experiance. Tills could come in very handy vvhen one has a choice to make.
To sum it up, it is very good idea to ask for parents guides, and is never a bad a Idea to give up a part of independence for a better future.Essay Two
Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether continuing to live with their family or not. For instance, in United States young adults prefer to live separated from they parents as soon as possible. This tendency reflects wises of freedom and independence. Altough these behavior has remarkable advantages and disadvantage, the advantage can overwhelm the negative effects.
It is important to recognize that by living separated from parents or family can be more risked than living with them. many young adults are victims of group pressure and gangs because of theirs parents absence.
However, a significant advantage of living by onself is that people develop ledearship skills. Individuals that live by themselves learn to do and sustain their own decisions. On the contrary, people who live
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