作者：于阳
出版社：陕西师范大学出版社
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
魅力英文Ⅷ：聆听花开的声音试读：
序言：Starry Night星夜之下
1. Starry, starry night
2. Paint your palette blue and gray
3. Look out on a summer’s day
4. With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
5. Shadows on the hills
6. Sketch the trees and daffodils
7. Catch the breeze and winter chills
8. In colors on the snowy linen land
9. Now I understand
10. What you tried to say to me
11. Because of your clear-headed
12. And how you suffered for your sanity
13. And how you tried to set them free
14. They would not listen, they did not know how
15. Perhaps they’ll listen now
16. Starry, starry night
17. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
18. Swirling clouds in violet haze
19. Reflect in Vincent’s dyes of china blue
20. Colors changing hue
21. Morning fields of amber grain
22. Weathered faces lined in pain
23. Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand
24. Now I understand
25. What you tried to say to me
26. You tried to set them free
27. They did not listen,
28. they did not know how
29. Perhaps they’ll listen now
30. Starry, starry night
1. 星夜下
2. 往调色板上涂抹蓝和灰
3. 用你那双能洞穿我灵魂的双眼
4. 遥望夏日的天空
5. 山坡上的阴影
6. 勾勒出树和水仙的轮廓
7. 捕捉微风和冬日的轻寒
8. 融入雪色斑驳的大地
9. 如今我才知道
10. 你曾经想对我说些什么
11. 因为你的清醒
12. 你承受了多大的痛苦
13. 你曾努力想让他们得到解脱
14. 他们却不理不睬
15. 他们也不知道如何去面对
16. 也许现在他们能够去聆听，去知晓
17. 星夜下
18. 花朵燃烧出明丽的火焰
19. 云团在紫色的雾霭中旋绕
20. 投射在文森特蓝色的双眸中
21. 色彩变幻莫测
22. 清晨琥珀色的田野
23. 沧桑的脸上写满痛苦
24. 在艺术家灵性的手下得到爱抚
25. 如今我才知道
26. 你曾经想对我说些什么
27. 你曾努力想让他们得到解脱
28. 他们却不理不睬
29. 他们也不知道如何去面对
30. 也许现在他们能够去聆听，去知晓
31. 星夜下……
第一部分：Love Every Morning最爱每一个清晨
我喜欢醒来迎接每一个清晨，轻松抖落一夜的梦尘，从窗口向外眺望远处，广袤的天地是否晴空无云，想象何等激动人心的事，这灿烂崭新的一天即将献呈。
The Mummer’s Dance艺者之舞
1. When in the springtime of the year
2. When the trees are crowned with leaves
3. When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
4. Are dressed in ribbons fair
5. When owls call the breathless moon
6. In the blue veil of the night
7. The shadows of the trees appear
8. Amidst the lantern light
9. We’ve been rambling all the night
10. And some time of this day
11. Now returning back again
12. We bring a garland gay
13. Who will go down to those shades groves
14. And summon the shadows there
15. And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
16. In the springtime of the year
17. The songs of birds seem to fill the wood
18. That when the fiddler plays
19. All their voices can be heard
20. Long past their woodland days
21. And so they linked their hands and danced
22. Round in circles and in rows
23. And so the journey of the night descends
24. When all the shades are gone
25. A garland gay we bring you here
26. And at your door we stand
27. It is a sprout well budded out
28. The work of our lord’s hand
1. 在一年之春
2. 当树木深陷在繁茂的叶群
3. 当岑树和橡树，和白桦树、紫杉
4. 被美丽的缎带装饰一新
5. 当猫头鹰呼唤无息的月
6. 在夜幕的蓝色面纱下
7. 树影浮现
8. 在灯笼的亮光中
9. 我们已漫游一夜还有白天的一些时间
10. 还有白天的一些时间
11. 现在又回来了
12. 我们带来了头戴鲜花的快乐
13. 它会走入荫蔽的小树林
14. 集起那边的阴影
15. 并且在庇护之臂上系上丝带
16. 在一年之春
17. 鸟儿的歌好象充满了整个树林
18. 当琴者拨弄时
19. 你听到它们的歌唱
20. 远远地穿过它们的林中岁月
21. 所以它们手拉手，跳起舞
22. 成列成环地跳着
23. 而于是夜色中的旅行开始了
24. 当所有的林荫消失时
25. 我们为你带来开满鲜花的快乐
26. 我们站在你的门前
27. 那是个顺利萌发的幼苗
28. 杰作出自我们的手
Summer in Kid’s Eyes孩子眼中的夏天
1. Do you know what I like? Summer vacation. I like it because I can go outside to play. If it rains, I can stay inside and play checkers. And this summer my family may go to Beijing, because we have not been there yet.
2. Do you know what I don’t like?I don’t like homework during summer vacation.“This is so difficult,” I complain. But once I begin to do it, I always stop complaining. I just try to finish it quickly so I can have a good time for the next two months!
1. 你知道我喜欢什么吗?就是暑假。我喜欢暑假是因为我可以外出玩耍；要是下雨，我就可以在室内下棋。此外,今年夏天我们全家可能去北京，因为我们从未去过那儿。
2. 你知道我不喜欢什么吗?我不喜欢暑期作业。我会抱怨说：“太难了！”不过，一旦开始写作业，我总是不再抱怨，只想快点做完它，这样接下来的两个月我才能过得开心！
Bed in Summer夏之眠
1. In winter I get up at night
2. And dress by yellow candle-light.
3. In summer, quite the other way,
4. I have to go to bed by day.
5. And see the birds still hopping on the tree,
6. Or hear the grown-up people’s feet
7. Still going past me in the street.
8. And I have to go to bed early.
9. When all the sky is clear and blue,
10. And I should like so much to play,
11. And does it seem hard to you,
12. To have to go to bed by day?
1. 冬日里我夜里起床，
2. 借着昏黄的烛光穿衣裳。
3. 夏日里可不一样，
4. 我不得不白日里就睡觉上床。
5. 小鸟儿仍在树上蹦蹦跳跳，
6. 大人们的脚步声,
7. 还在大街上回响，
8. 我却得早早睡觉上床。
9. 天空还是那么蔚蓝，明亮，
10. 我多么想嬉戏，玩耍，
11. 你是否觉得:
12. 这时候就睡觉难入梦乡？
The Rainy Day雨天
1. The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
2. It rains, and the wind is never weary;
3. The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
4. But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
5. And the day is dark and dreary.
6. My life is cold and dark and dreary;
7. It rains and the wind is never weary;
8. My though still cling to the moldering past,
9. But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
10. And the days are dark and dreary.
11. Be still, sad heart! And cease repining;
12. Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
13. Thy fate is the common fate of all,
14. Into each life some rain must fall,
15. Some days must be dark and dreary.
1. 天冷、阴暗、沉闷；
2. 下着雨，风也刮个不停；
3. 藤还攀附着颓垣残壁，
4. 每来一阵狂风，枯叶附落纷纷，
5. 天真是阴暗而沉闷。
6. 我的生活寒冷、阴郁、沉闷；
7. 下着雨，风也刮个不停；
8. 我的思想还纠缠着消逝的往事，
9. 大风里，我的青春希望相继熄灭，
10. 天真是阴暗而沉闷。
11. 安静吧，忧伤的心！别再悔恨；
12. 乌云后面太阳依然辉煌灿烂；
13. 你命运和大家的一样，
14. 每个人一生都得逢上阴雨，
15. 有些日子必然阴暗而沉闷。
Lake of Autumn秋之湖
1. I remember quite clearly now when the story happened. The autumn leaves were floating in measure down to the ground, recovering the lake, where we used to swim like children, under the sun was there to shine. That time we used to be happy. Well, I thought we were. But the truth was that you had been longing to leave me, not daring to tell me. On that precious night, watching the lake, vaguely conscious, you said: “Our story is ending.”
2. The rain was killing the last days of summer. You had been killing my last breath of love, since a long time ago. I still don’t think I’m gonna make it through another love story. You took it all away from me. And there I stand, I knew I was going to be the one left behind. But still I’m watching the lake, vaguely conscious, and I know my life is ending.
1. 我仍清晰地记得故事发生的时候。秋叶翻飞，飘落一地。我们曾经孩子般戏水畅游过的小湖盖满落叶，在太阳下闪着光。那时我们幸福过。哦，我是这样认为的。可事实上你早就想离开我，只是不敢告诉我罢了。在那美丽的夜晚，眼望湖水，恍惚中听见你说：我们的故事已到尽头。
2. 雨水扼杀着所剩无几的夏日，而你很久以来也在扼杀我奄奄一息的爱。我仍不认为自己会再去经历另一段爱情故事。你把一切都带走了。我只有悄然伫立，早已明白自己将会是那个被遗弃的人。而我依然凝望着湖水，恍惚中，生命正离我而去。
Beautiful Snow美丽的雪花
1. Beautiful snow, so pure and white,
2. Dancing through the air you go;
3. Falling so gently, softly and light
4. From the clouds above to the earth below.
5. Beautiful snow, so pure and white,
6. The crowning beauty of winter cold;
7. Falling both by day and by night,
8. Falling on mountain-top and wold.
9. Beautiful snow, so pure and white,
10. Falling gently on vale and dell;
11. Covering the mansion of the rich as well,
12. And the cottage of the poor.
13. Beautiful snow, so pure and white,
14. Falling on things both high and low;
15. Hiding the fallen leaves out of sight,
16. While over the brown tree you thickly blow.
17. Beautiful snow, white and pure,
18. Oh, how I love to see you fall!
19. Oh, I am certain, yes, I am sure,
20. Nothing’s as pretty as snow at all.
21. Lord! Make my heart as pure and white,
22. As the snow when it falls from above;
23. Fill me with the truth and light,
24. And sweet, beautiful faith and love.
1. 美丽的雪花，纯净洁白，
2. 半空中舞姿翩翩；
3. 轻柔舒缓地飘来，
4. 从云层飞向地面。
5. 美丽的雪花，纯净洁白，
6. 寒冬最美的风景；
7. 不分昼夜地飘来，
8. 落在荒原，落在山顶。
9. 美丽的雪花，纯净洁白，
10. 落在溪涧，落在林谷；
11. 覆盖富翁的豪宅，
12. 覆盖穷人的茅屋。
13. 美丽的雪花，纯净洁白，
14. 落在高地，落在低处；
15. 将落叶严实地遮盖，
16. 在棕树上欢快地飞舞。
17. 美丽的雪花，洁白纯净，
18. 啊，我痴迷于你的飘零！
19. 啊，我深信，我肯定，
20. 你是世界上最美的风景。
21. 上帝！让我的心洁白纯净，
22. 就像空中飞舞的雪花一样；
23. 让我的心充满真理和光明，
24. 充满甜美的爱意和信仰。
Red berries红豆
1. Not until we embrace the wintry weather with snowflakes dancing and our bodies shuddering will we feel our throbbing hearts and the tenderness beneath.
2. Not until we walk through the desolate dune with my hand circled by your fingers can we keep our flame kindled and never let it die.
3. Sometimes I believe an end comes at a time, time for company and time for departure.
4. There is a time for omega, just as there is a time for alpha.
5. However, sometimes I prefer to be a nostalgist who awaits your escort to see the water trickling after your return from a kaleidoscope of sights.
6. Not until I decoct and share with you the red beans which have been ground incessantly the way our heart is will we taste the sorrow of two lovelorn people who are down, but not out.
7. Not until we are bathed in the rain of kisses when we are awakened by the beam of sunlight can you pursue the freedom of solitude with me by your side.
8. Sometimes I believe an end comes at a time, time for company and time for departure.
9. There is a time for omega, just as there is a time for alpha.
10. However, sometimes I prefer to be a nostalgist who awaits your escort to see the water trickling after your return from a kaleidoscope of sights.
1. 还没好好地感受，雪花绽放的气候。我们一起颤抖，会更明白什么是温柔。
2. 还没跟你牵著手，走过荒芜的沙丘。可能从此以后学会珍惜天长和地久。
3. 有时候有时候，我会相信一切有尽头。
4. 相聚离开都有时候，没有什么会永垂不朽。
5. 可是我有时候，宁愿选择留恋不放手，等到风景都看透，也许你会陪我看细水长流。
6. 还没为你把红豆熬成缠绵的伤口，然后一起分享，会更明白相思的哀愁。
7. 还没好好地感受醒着亲吻的温柔，可能在我左右你才追求孤独的自由。
8. 有时候有时候，我会相信一切有尽头。
9. 相聚离开都有时候，没有什么会永垂不朽。
10. 可是我有时候，宁愿选择留恋不放手，等到风景都看透，也许你会陪我看细水长流。
Love Every Morning最爱每一个清晨
1. I love to wake to each new day,
2. And brush my dreams of night away,
3. And look out through
4. my window wide
5. To see what weather is outside, and wonder what exciting thing
6. This shining, un-used day will bring.
1. 我喜欢醒来迎接每一个清晨，
2. 轻松抖落一夜的梦尘，
3. 从窗口向外眺望远处，
4. 广袤的天地是否晴空无云，
5. 想象何等激动人心的事，
6. 这灿烂崭新的一天即将献呈。
Moonlight and the Spring月光和泉水
1. Sometimes he watched the moon, pouring a silvery liquid on the clouds, through which it slowly melted till they became all bright; then he saw the same sweet radiance dancing on the leafy trees which rustled as if to shake it off, or sleeping on the high tops of hills, or hovering down in distant valleys, like the material of unshaped dreams; lastly, he looked into the spring, and there the light was mingling with the water.
2. In its crystal bosom, too, beholding all heaven reflected there, he found an emblem of a pure and tranquil. He listened to that most ethereal of all sounds, the song of crickets, coming in full choir upon the wind, and fancied that, if moonlight could be heard, it would sound just like that.
1. 时而他注视着月亮，看它向云朵洒下道道银光，慢慢地，云朵里渗进融化的月光，变得通体透亮。一转眼，那清辉又翩跹在扶疏的枝叶当中，而树叶沙沙颤动，好像要将那不速之客抖落在地。一会儿月光蛰伏在高山顶上，倏地又盘旋而下，消失在遥远的山谷里，梦境大概就是这样不可捉摸的吧。最后，他转向水泉：在那里，光与水再也不分彼此。
2. 当目睹泉水晶莹，反映出整个天穹的影像，他恍然大悟：这不正代表了一种纯粹、平和的心境么？微风送来虫鸣阵阵，此曲只应天上有，他侧耳细听，并幻想着，如果月光也能够歌唱，它的歌声一定就是那样的。
Leaning into the Afternoons倚身于暮色中
1. Leaning into the afternoons I cast my sad nets towards your oceanic eyes.
2. There in the highest blaze my solitude lengthens and flames,
3. its arms turning like a drowning man’s.
4. I send out red signals across your absent eyes
5. that smell like the sea or the beach by a lighthouse.
6. You keep only darkness, my distant female,
7. from your regard sometimes the coast of dread emerges.
8. Leaning into the afternoons I fling my sad nets to that sea that is thrashed by your oceanic eyes.
9. The birds of night peck at the first stars
10. that flash like my soul when I love you.
11. The night gallops on its shadowy mare
12. shedding blue tassels over the land.
1. 倚身于暮色中，我向你海洋般的双眼投掷我忧愁的网。
2. 我的孤独，在那极度的光亮中不断延伸并燃起火焰，
3. 它的双臂扭转翻动，仿佛一个溺水之人在求救。
4. 穿过你茫然的双眼，我送出红色的讯号，
5. 你的双眼涌动着涟漪，如靠近灯塔的海洋。
6. 你保有唯一的黑暗，我远方的女子，
7. 有时惊恐的海岸从你的凝视之中浮现。
8. 倚身暮气中，在拍打你海洋般双眼的海上我抛掷出我忧愁的网。
9. 夜晚的鸟群啄食第一阵闪烁的群星，
10. 如同爱上我的灵魂。
11. 夜在它阴郁的梦魇上疾驰，
12. 在大地上撒下湛蓝的穗须。
Present礼物
1. Many people just give gifts without even liking to give. They just give because Christmas is coming, because it is the New Year, or because she is my mother, because she is my daughter, because he is my friend, because he is my husband, etc. And people just buy any kind of thing sometimes. And that’s very burdensome, for the buyer as well as the receiver. Because you only receive like a skeleton, without any soul, without any affection in it. And we all know this. And it’s bad! It’s not a good habit to exchange gifts, even though it is Christmas or New Year’s, if we have no love in it, if we don’t do it with sincere well wishing, or sincere affection. Mostly, people don’t do it with love. They are too busy to have affection. They are too busy to think about whether they should put in affection or not. The affection has gone out the window. When Christmas comes, most affection’s gone.
2. It is a very good custom to express our feelings through gifts. But sometimes, if we have our full heart in it, even one rose is enough. Otherwise, people just want to show off their generosity, and buy a big bouquet, and still it doesn’t mean anything. Therefore, sometimes, I often hear people outside say, “Ah! Christmas is coming; it’s a terrible time. I haven’t bought this for that person. I haven’t bought that for this person.” It looks like a burden. It’s not a feast of love. And it’s not an occasion to celebrate our bonds of friendship. But it’s a burden some time. It’s a very tiresome period of the year.
3. People do it just to discharge their obligations toward each other. But they do not really understand the significance of the season, and of the actions and gifts. That’s why it makes such a boring job, to go shopping at Christmas or New Year’s. All rush, rush! So many things to do, so many cars to drive or ride in, so many gifts to wrap, and all kinds of things. It’s very difficult to have affection in such a rush. Therefore, you know, at Christmas time, people just stuff each other’s houses with all kinds of nonsense, all kinds of unnecessary toys and stuff that normally we would not even think of buying for ourselves. And sometimes, people make a joke, or maybe it’s a true story, that sometimes you find your own gift coming back, returning back to you after a circle of friendship. And you just have a good laugh. And sometimes, this gift is the very thing that you wanted to get rid of, and it came back to you full circle.
1. 很多人送礼不是心甘情愿，他们只是因为圣诞节来了、新年到了，或是因为她是我母亲、是我女儿，他是我的朋友、先生等等，所以就随便买个东西，那实在是一种负担，对买的人和接受的人来说，都是一种负担。因为你收的东西只是像个骷髅一样，内边没有灵魂、没有感情。我们都知道那种情况，那很糟糕！即使是在圣诞节或过年的时候，如果我们没有爱心、没有诚心的祝福、没有真挚的情感，那么互相送礼的习俗并不可取。但多数的人就是如此，他们因为太忙而没有感情，他们忙得没有时间去想是否要投入情感，情感都跑到窗外去了，当圣诞节来临时，大部分的感情也消失了。
2. 借礼物来表达情感是很好的习俗，如果礼物中充满我们的诚意，即使只是一朵玫瑰花，那也足够了；如果只是想要炫耀慷慨，就算买了一大束花也毫无意义。因此有时候我常听外面的人说：“唉呀！圣诞节快到了，可怕的时候到了，我还没买这个给那个人，我还没买那个给这个人。”圣诞节好像是一种负担，不是爱的节日，不是一个庆祝我们友谊坚固的时机，而是个麻烦的时刻，是一年中非常累人的时期。
3. 人们这么做，也许只是为了履行彼此间的义务，但他们并不真正了解这个季节以及送礼的意义，因此，在圣诞节或新年的时候，购物变成一个非常无聊的工作，都只是赶！赶！赶！有那么多事要做，要开车或坐车到处跑，要包很多礼物等等，在这么匆忙之中很难投入情感。所以圣诞节的时候，人们只是用毫无意义的东西填塞彼此的房子。那些没必要的玩具和物品，通常连我们自己都不会想买来给自己。有人开玩笑这么说，不过也许这是真的事，有时你会发现自己送出去的礼物，在朋友之间绕了一大圈后又回到自己手上，而你只能大笑一场，有时候这个礼物正是你先前不想要的东西，而它却绕了一圈后又回到你手上。
第二部分：Broken Butterfly Cocoon破茧的蝴蝶
上帝的意思就是让那个大肚子蝴蝶宝贝从那个奇小无比的小口爬出来，那个小窄口在它通过时把它体内的营养液从腹部挤压到翅膀，这样蝴蝶就可以在破茧而出、获得自由的时候展翅高飞了。
Forgiveness宽恕
1. To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible—and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.
2. “People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness,” says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. “So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital.”
3. So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:
4. Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. “Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love,” Frederic says.
5. Don’t wait for an apology. “Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing,” Frederic says. “They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don’t see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time.” Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.
6. Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. “Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you,” Frederic says.
7. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear—even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender’s point of view.
8. Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.
9. Don’t forget to forgive yourself. “For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge,” Frederic says. “But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don’t do it.”
1. 宽恕是神圣的，但是没有人说很容易做到宽恕别人。当你被深深伤害的时候，想要不怀恨在心是很难做到的。但是宽恕是可能的——而且这会给你的身心健康带来出乎意料的益处。
2. 《宽恕的好处》一书的作者弗雷德里克博士说。“懂得宽恕的人不会感到那么沮丧、愤怒和紧张，他们总是充满希望。所以宽恕有助于减少人体各种器官的损耗，降低免疫系统的疲劳程度并使人精力更加充沛。”
3. 那么，如何恢复自己的情绪呢？试试下面的一些步骤吧：
4. 让自己冷静下来。尝试一种简单的减压技巧来缓解你愤怒的情绪。弗雷德里克建议：”做几次深呼吸，然后想想那些令你快乐的事情，比如自然界的美丽景色，或者你爱的人。”
5. 不要等别人来道歉。弗雷德里克说：“许多时候，伤害你的人没有想过要道歉。他们可能是故意的，也可能只是和你看待事物的方式不一样。所以如果你等着别人来道歉，你可能会等相当长的时间。”你要牢记，宽恕并不一定意味着顺从那些让你心烦意乱的人，也不意味着饶恕他或她的行为。
6. 不要让冒犯你的人控制你的情绪。内心里总是想着自己的伤痛，只会给伤害你的人打气。弗雷德里克说：“与其老是关注自己受到的伤害，还不如学着去寻找你身边的真善美。”
7. 试着从别人的角度来看问题。如果你站在别人的立场上，你也许会意识到他或她是因为无知、害怕、甚至是爱才那样做的。为了能够站在别人的角度来看问题，你可以从冒犯你的人的立场给你自己写一封信。
8. 认识到宽恕的益处。研究表明懂得宽恕的人精力更旺盛、食欲更好、睡觉更香。
9. 不要忘了宽恕自己。弗雷德里克说：“对于有些人来说，宽恕自己才是最大的挑战。但是如果你不宽恕自己，你会失去自信。”
Goethe’s Tolerance歌德的容忍
1. Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, “I’ll never make way for a fool.” “But I will,” with that Goethe retreated aside.
1. 歌德有一次正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步。碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：“我从来不给傻瓜让路。”“可我给。”说完歌德退到了一边。
Not to Blindly Accuse Others不要一味指责别人
1. How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.
2. The woman who asked this, asked a valid question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of themselves as it did while they were being abused. The only difference may be there is no physical or emotional abuse happening in their worlds.
3. What is victim mentality?
4. A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. (Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.) If you do not get the promotion it is because Mr. Johnson was out to get you. Not because he found you playing on the Internet every day. Your best friend called and said she could not have dinner with you. She is always doing that to you; not showing. You’ll show her. You won’t invite her when you go out again! Instead of remembering she has just started school and you did call her at the last minute. Victim mentality.
5. Recently I spoke with someone who no longer lives with a victim mentality. She has gone on with her life and is free from some of the extra baggage that come with being a victim. We discussed forgiving our abusers and how in that process you also need to forgive yourself. With that came loosing the victim mentality.
6. When she was living under the victim mentality she found herself angrier. She found herself swirling in a sea of resentment towards her abuser. She stayed locked in that cycle and never seemed to move forward. If she got sick, she became angry at him.; If the kids messed up, she became angry at him; He was no longer in the picture, but it was all his fault, It was not hers; he made things this way...Life is easier when you can play the blame game. The blame game makes it easy for your life not to move forward or for you to grow.
7. The day came when she tired of the mentality. She wasn’t a victim anymore and the time had come for her to move beyond the victim mentality. I asked her how she stopped the self destructive cycle. The first thing she did is something many abuse victims may have a hard time doing. She forgive her abuser. She did not say that she forgive him for breaking her ribs, she acknowledged that he had a problem and that he needed to get help. Wishing him ill will kept him in her mind more than he should have been. By acknowledging that he had hurt her, that he did have a problem, she was able to feel some relief. There was more though. As important as forgiving him was, she needed to forgive herself too. She needed to forgive herself for exposing the kids to the abuse. She needed to forgive herself for not reporting him to the police all the times he had hurt her. She needed to forgive herself for being afraid. She needed to forgive herself for not having walked away all the times she could have. She needed to forgive herself..
8. She did all those things so she could mentally move forward. Forgiving herself allowed her to get past some of the more intense things she had experienced. The physical bruises had all gone away. The emotional had stayed. It had clung to her and kept the victim mentality alive.
1. 对下面的问题你会作何回答：我摆脱了虐待，翻开新的生活。有些事我一直在考虑，从何时开始，如何虐待会停止在我的生活中扮演重要的角色?我见过那些继续生活的人，我想知道他们是如何做到的。
2. 问这个问题的女士所问的问题是有效的。有许多不再是受害者的男人、女人和孩子，可是这些人感到无法将其抛在身后。它就如同过去被虐待时一样还是自己的一部分。唯一的区别是如今在他们的世界没有情感或身体虐待发生。
3. 什么是受害人思维？
4. 受害人思维是你对自己生活中的一切都指责于别人。(另一个不常用的定义是一个人认为未来只会给他们带来不好的东西)如果你没有获得晋升，那是因为Johnson比你做得多，不是因为他发现你成天上网。你最好的朋友打电话说不能和你进餐。她总是那么对你，不来。你将给她点颜色看看。当你再出去时就不会请她了。而没有考虑她才刚开学，而你却是在最后一分钟打给她电话。受害人思维。
5. 最近，我和某位不再带着“受害人”思维的人谈话。她继续新的生活，不再有作为受害人要背的额外包袱。我们讨论了如何原谅虐待人，在此过程中你也要如何原谅自己。随之而来的就是释放了受害人思维。
6. 当她生活在这种思维下，她发现自己更生气。她发现自己将满腔的愤恨都抛给了她的虐待者。她困在这种循环，似乎永远都不能前进。如果她生病了，那么她会对他生气；如果孩子捣蛋，她会对他生气；那个人不在牵涉，但是全都是他的错，不是她的错；他让事情这样...当你开始做“指责”游戏，生活要容易些。“指责”游戏让你的生活“容易”不前进，让你不成长。
7. 有一天，她厌恶了这种思维。她不再是受害人，是时候让她走出这种思维。我问她如何停止这种自我毁灭的循环。她做的第一件事就是许多受害人感到难以去做的。她原谅了她的虐待者。她并没有说因为打断了她的肋骨而原谅，她承认他有问题，需要帮助。诅咒他只会让她依然记着他。通过承认他伤害了她，他确实有问题，她就能获得一些轻松。不过不仅如此。和原谅一样重要的，她需要原谅自己。她需要原谅自己让孩子暴露在虐待环境下。她需要原谅自己在他伤害她这一切的时候没有报警。她需要原谅自己的害怕感觉。她需要原谅自己一直以来本可以却没有离开。她需要原来那个她自己……
8. 她做了这一切事情，这才能够精神上前进。原谅自己让她超越了过去感受到的更强烈东西。身体瘀伤过去都好了，可情绪的过去依旧还在。它牢牢地握住她，维系着受害人思维。
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