作者：翠西·米尔本
出版社：外语教学与研究出版社
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
失而复得试读：
Chapter One
A rolling sea of bluebonnets in full bloom flowed out from where Grace Cameron sat at a roadside table. Her son, Evan, ran back and forth, pretending to ride an imaginary horse. But not even his boyish antics could lift her mood today.
Once, hills blanketed in bluebonnets had soothed her, allowing her to believe there was hope and beauty in the world beyond her daily existence. Now, the sight of them and the town in the distance caused fear and uncertainty to swirl inside her like a Texas twister.
Texas. She looked toward the horizon, soaking in a tiny sliver of Texas's vast and varied expanse. When her parents had dragged her away nearly seven years ago, she'd thought she'd never see it again. Later, she'd avoided the state for fear she'd lose more than she already had. And yet here she sat gazing out across the spring-painted Hill Country, on the verge of taking the final step in a decision that she'd second-guessed every moment since she'd made it.
She glanced at Evan, at his miniature cowboy boots and hat, the pint-size Wrangler jeans, and couldn't help but smile despite her inner turmoil. When she'd told him they were taking a vacation to Texas, that he was going to attend Cowboy Camp for Kids, he'd transformed into a bouncing ball of joy and excitement. While other little boys his age were into Star Wars and anime cartoons, he loved the reruns of old Westerns. His favorite cartoon character was Woody from Toy Story. He thought horses were God's greatest creation and believed everyone should have at least one.
You couldn't fight DNA.
"You ready to go, kiddo?"
Evan stopped midgallop.
"Are we almost there?"
She nodded and pointed across the field of wildflowers. "See that town?"
"Yeah."
"That's Blue Falls. The camp is just a few miles on the other side."
His face lit up so much Grace wouldn't have been surprised if he started glowing. He raced to the car and was inside strapping on his seat belt by the time she managed to stand. She stared toward Blue Falls a bit longer, at the waterfalls that gave the town its name, the shimmer off the lake around which the town was built. Thousands of tourists flocked here each year, and all she wanted to do was turn around and leave it far behind.
But this trip wasn't about what she wanted. It was about what was best for her son.
Her feet felt as if they were encased in wet, heavy concrete as she headed for the car. She placed her hand on her stomach as if the action would calm the nausea plaguing her.
As she drove through Blue Falls, it felt familiar, and yet not. Some businesses she remembered from her youth were gone, others still there. She'd swear the same old coots were sitting out in front of the Primrose Café swapping probably the same old stories. The Blue Falls Music Hall had gotten a sorely needed facelift in the intervening years.
Taking in the view of her hometown was a little like having an out-of-body experience. She wasn't the same Grace Cameron who'd lived here before, but that didn't keep a flood of old feelings from washing into every part of her body.
Evan stretched toward the window as far as his seat belt would let him. "I don't see any cowboys." The disappointment in his tone made Grace want to laugh and cry at the same time.
"Don't worry, they're around. A lot of these people are probably on vacation, like us." No doubt here for the popular wildflower tours. The appearance of the bluebonnets in March of each year made people crazy for wildflowers.
"Oh."
Grace looked at the faces they passed, too, searching for someone familiar.
Searching for Nathan.
For what seemed like the millionth time, she imagined all the ways he might respond when he found out he had a son. Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Probably all three. And he'd be entitled to each one.
She shook her head. No sense in torturing herself with possibilities. She'd find out the reality soon enough.
They waited at the last stoplight while a tour bus made the wide turn onto Main Street. The words Wild-flower Tours stretched down the side of the bus, and little painted bluebonnets peeked out from around the letters. Grace wondered what it would be like to visit Blue Falls without any previous ties to the town or the people here.
"The light's green, Mom."
"Oops." She reined in her wandering thoughts and proceeded through the intersection.
They began the winding climb out of Blue Falls, and before she was ready—would she ever be ready?—they reached the Vista Hills Guest Ranch. Her palms grew sweaty against the steering wheel as she made the turn and started down the driveway lined with cedar and gnarled live oak trees.
Panic threatened to overwhelm her. What was she doing here?
She was here because Evan had a father.
And Nathan had a son.
Someday that relationship might be the most important one in the world—to her, at least.
When she rounded the last curve that brought her within view of the heart of the ranch, she had to take a deep breath. She didn't want Evan to sense how nervous she was. He might be only six, but he was observant and not easily fooled. As she pulled into a parking space next to the ranch office, Grace noticed a few other families with small children. They really were here for a vacation, to allow their kids a bit of cowboy fun. How she wished the days ahead would be that simple for her.
She eyed the other guests, but from her vantage point she couldn't tell if Laney and her daughter, Cheyenne, were among them. Grace didn't know if she could have come here without Laney for moral support.
"Mom, look! Horses!"
Grace looked toward the barns and surrounding corrals, remembering their locations as if she'd been here only yesterday. Half a dozen horses stood in the fenced enclosure next to the stables, and two families were gathered there as their little ones climbed up the fence for a better view. She noticed a man in jeans and a cowboy hat inside the fence talking to the group, but from this distance she couldn't tell if it was Nathan, one of his brothers, or an employee.
"Can we go look at the horses?"
"In a few minutes. We have to check in first."
"But, Mom!"
"Honey, the horses aren't going anywhere. You want to see our cabin, don't you?"
"Not as much as the horses."
The way he said it, all dramatic and pouty-faced, caused a laugh to escape her. Evan met her eyes in the rearview mirror, not at all amused.
Grace shook her head as she got out of the car. If she gave Evan a couple of minutes, he'd forget being put out with her and move on to admiring something else.
Evan's boots clonked on the wooden front steps of the office, and Grace wondered if Nathan had looked like that when he was young. A full-grown cowboy in his mind but only a little boy in truth.
With another deep breath, Grace opened the door and followed Evan inside.
"Well, hello there, young man," the older woman at the front desk said when she spotted Evan.
"Hello. I'm here to be a cowboy."
Merline Teague laughed, totally unaware she was talking to her grandson. Grace's throat went uncomfortably dry as she realized they'd just stepped beyond the point of no return.
"Well, then, you've come to the right place. What's your name, cowboy?"
"Evan Cameron."
"Nice to meet you, Evan Cameron."
Evan flicked up the front of his tan hat the way he'd seen movie-star cowboys do in all those old films. Merline paused as she reached for the appointment book, looking at him a moment longer as if she'd seen something that surprised her. Grace held her breath as her heart did its best to crack her ribs with its frantic beating.
Merline consulted her reservation book then looked at Grace for the first time. "Grace?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Merline glanced at Evan again, but only for a brief moment. "It's so good to see you. Been a long time."
"Yes, ma'am." Jeez, could she say nothing else?
Merline waved her hand in a "no need for that" type of gesture. "You're a grown woman now. Call me Merline."
"Yes…" Grace caught herself before she threepeated her response.
Merline eyed her reservation book again while Grace marveled at how little Nathan's mother had changed. She was still trim and fit with a tan that spoke of lots of time spent outdoors. She wasn't the type of woman to color her hair, but she didn't need to because she had gorgeous silver hair cut in a bob just below her ears. She was casual and classy at the same time, a woman comfortable in her skin and her surroundings.
"So you're living in Arkansas now," Merline said.
Grace could almost imagine the unspoken words. Always wondered where you and your family disappeared to.
"Moved there after college. My best friend was from the area, so we decided to set up shop there."
"What do you do?" Merline pulled a key from a rack behind her.
"Interior design."
"Oh, I bet that's fun. I love watching all those design shows on HGTV. I start watching one, and the next thing you know three hours have passed."
"Me, too."
"Even when you do it all day?"
Grace nodded. "Can't seem to get enough of it, I guess." She supposed she was still trying to fill her life with beautiful things after so many years of being forbidden them.
Merline handed Grace the key and a sheet of paper. "You're in cabin twelve. Just take the drive behind the office."
"I remember."
Merline smiled, looking as if dozens of questions were swirling unspoken inside her. Could she possibly have put things together that quickly, especially since Grace and Nathan had never really dated? Grace fought the urge to grab the key and run, telling herself that her anxiety was causing her to see things that weren't there. She tried not to think how Evan might have inherited his keen sense of observation from his paternal grandmother.
"That's the schedule for the weekend," Merline said as she pointed to the paper she'd handed Grace. "You're just in time to get settled before the tour."
"Will we get to see the horses?" Evan was bouncing on the balls of his feet, unable to keep still.
Merline smiled at him. "Yes, sir. Lots of horses."
"Awesome!"
Grace laughed right along with Merline.
"Excited, isn't he?"
Grace pushed down the front of Evan's hat. "Yes, he's talked about nothing else since I told him he was going to Cowboy Camp."
"Our boys were crazy for horses at that age, too. Still are."
The mention of the Teague brothers ratcheted Grace's anxiety up another notch. She placed her hand on Evan's back. "Let's go, pardner. We need to unpack."
This time, Evan didn't express how unpacking was way down his list of things he wanted to do. Instead, he turned and headed for the door.
"Good to see you again, Grace."
Was there an extra layer of meaning in those words, or was she imagining it?
Grace met the other woman's gaze only briefly. "You, too, ma—Merline." She stepped toward the door before she could stumble over something besides Mer-line's name.
Just as she and Evan reached the door, it swung open and a much larger version of her son stepped inside.
"Mom, it's a cowboy," Evan said in awe.
Yes, it was indeed a cowboy. And Nathan Teague still took her breath away.
Nathan looked down at the little guy tricked out in full cowboy attire. Whose idea had it been to let the ranch be overrun by munchkins all week? Oh, yeah, his. Temporary insanity, had to be. Already, two campers had cried when the horses got too close. One had screamed so loudly his parents had apologized profusely and headed back to Austin so they could check in to a hotel with a nice, big pool. He looked at their latest arrival and wondered how this one would react. Oh, well, he had to make the best of the situation.
He touched the front of his hat. "Looks to me like there are two cowboys in here."
The little boy scanned the office before he realized what Nathan meant. He smiled so wide, Nathan couldn't help but smile back. Maybe there was hope yet.
"Nathan, you remember Grace Cameron?"
He looked at his mom, who nodded at a woman standing to the side of the little boy. It took a few clicks of the cogs in his brain for the truth to slip into place. But beyond the stylish, beautiful blonde in front of him, he could just make out the girl who'd been his algebra tutor. A girl he'd made love to and then pretended like it didn't happen.
A girl who had disappeared without a trace, without a word. And now she reappeared just as suddenly and without warning.
"Grace." For some reason, his brain couldn't force more than her name out of his mouth.
"Nathan, good to see you."
She only met his eyes for the barest hint of a moment before she turned her attention to the boy.
"Yours?" he asked.
"Yes." Her voice sounded small, the same as he remembered it. So a part of that teenage girl remained below the surface of the woman she'd grown into.
The little boy looked up at Grace. "Mom, do you know the cowboy?"
"Yes, honey," she said, her voice stronger. "This is Nathan Teague. We used to go to school together."
The kid looked as if his mother had just told him she knew his favorite football player or superhero.
Grace placed her hands on the boy's shoulders in what looked like a protective gesture. Maybe she was nervous that he might get hurt here, a common worry among the parents he'd met so far today. He resisted the odd urge to reassure her.
"Nathan, this little cowboy is Evan," she said.
Nathan extended his hand, and Evan shook it without hesitation.
"You've got a good grip there."
If possible, Evan grinned even wider.
"Were you good at school, too?" Evan asked.
Nathan laughed. "Not as good as your mom. In fact, she had to help me pass one of my classes."
Evan nodded. "She helps me with my homework, too."
"You're mighty young to have homework."
"You'd be surprised," Grace said. "School has changed a lot in just a few years." So had Grace. Or had her voice always been that pretty, the audible equivalent of a gorgeous spring day, and he'd never noticed it cloaked in her shyness? He had the oddest sensation that he'd like to hear her read to him. This time when she met his eyes, they held for a little longer, allowing him to appreciate their pale blue color. When she seemed to realize this, she ushered her son toward the door. Having forgotten what had brought him inside, he followed in her wake.
"Are you back in Blue Falls?" he asked.
"Just a little vacation."
Evan spotted the horses and a few more kids down by the corrals. "Mom, can I go see the horses? Please!"
She looked about to refuse, with an edge of concern pulling at her features. It wasn't the first time he'd seen that look today. "He'll be safe. Simon and Dad are down there."
Grace still looked unsure but finally relented.
"Okay." Evan shot off like an Olympic sprinter. "But be careful," she called after him.
"He seems excited to be here."
"You have no idea. I swear he's John Wayne reincarnated."
He chuckled. "There are worse things."
"Yeah."
He followed as she walked slowly toward a bench overlooking the stables and corrals. She sank onto it as though she was utterly exhausted.
"You okay? You look tired."
"Just a long drive today."
Instinct told him it was more than that, but if she didn't want to share, it wasn't any of his business. Suddenly, he wanted to apologize for the idiot he'd been back in high school, but she'd probably think him an even bigger idiot for bringing it up now when she'd obviously moved on.
He didn't sit beside her. Rather, he leaned against a nearby oak tree. They both watched as Evan climbed up on the fence rails and reached over to pet a big blonde mare named Dolly.
"At least he's not running away in terror like some of the kids," he said.
"Unfortunately, he has no fear. I took him to a rodeo once, and I firmly believe he would have climbed onto the back of one of the bucking horses and given it a whirl."
Nathan laughed. "Fearlessness can come in handy."
"I don't want him to be scared of everything, but a little healthy, self-preserving fear would be nice."
Nathan looked over at Grace's golden blond hair. When he'd known her before, it'd been long and straight down her back. Now, she had it cut in a shorter, wavy style that suited her. "Well, it doesn't look like he's caused you to go gray yet."
Grace lifted her hand to her hair, and he noticed she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. "No, not yet."
A little girl in pink cowgirl boots, a pink shirt with fringe and a pink cowgirl hat climbed up on the fence next to Evan and started petting Dolly, too. She struck up a conversation with Evan, unintelligible at this distance.
"Hey, we've got two kids who actually like the horses. This week might work out yet."
"Do you usually have lots of kids afraid of the horses?"
Nathan shrugged. "Don't know. This is the first time we've done the camp. Maybe the last."
Grace didn't respond. Despite looking tired, she didn't seem terribly relaxed. In fact, her back was as straight as if she was tied to a fence post. She clasped her hands together in her lap so tightly that her knuckles had gone white.
"You sure you're okay? Can I get you something to drink?"
"He's yours."
Her quick response made no sense. "What?"
Grace turned her head slowly, met his gaze. "Evan. He's your son."
第一章
格雷丝·卡梅伦坐在路边的桌子旁，这儿是一片矢车菊盛开的花海，如海浪一般绵延至远方。她的儿子埃文，假装骑着一匹马跑来跑去。但是今天就连小男孩滑稽的动作也没能让她低落的心情好转。
这种满矢车菊的群山曾是她的慰藉，让她相信在她日常生活之外的世界存在希望和美好。而现在，这些景象以及远方的城镇却像是得克萨斯州的龙卷风一样在她心中卷起一阵恐惧和不确定的感觉。
得克萨斯。她望向远方，在得克萨斯州广袤多样的土地上的这一小部分中陷入沉思。自从大约七年前父母带着她离开之后，她以为她再也看不到这种景象了。后来她克服了恐惧，不再担心她会失去曾经拥有的东西。然而，她坐在这里，凝视着春意盎然的希尔乡，准备走出决定的最后一步。自从做出这个决定之后，她每时每刻都在反复思量。
她看了一眼埃文，他穿着小号牛仔靴子和威格牛仔裤，戴着小号的牛仔帽。虽然她心里乱糟糟的，但她不禁笑了。当她告诉孩子，他们要去得克萨斯州度假，并且他要去参加少年牛仔夏令营时，孩子高兴得又蹦又跳。同龄的小男孩们迷恋《星球大战》或动画片的时候，他却喜欢那些重播的西部老片。他最喜欢的卡通人物是《玩具总动员》中的伍迪。他认为马是上帝最伟大的创造，并认为每个人都应该有至少一匹马。
人不能战胜基因。“准备好出发了吗，孩子？”
埃文停下了骑马的动作。“我们快到了吗？”
她点点头，指着这片花后面的地方，“看见那个镇子了吗？”“看到了。”“那就是蓝瀑布。营地就在离那边几公里的地方。”
他的脸上一亮，就算是他开始发光格雷丝也不会感到惊讶。她刚勉强地站起来，他就跑向车坐好，系上安全带了。她又盯着蓝色瀑布看了一会儿。镇子就是以这座瀑布的名字命名的，人们沿着湖面的波光建立了这座小镇。每年成千上万的游客蜂拥而至，而她却想转身离开这里，走得远远的。
但是这次旅行并非她的本意，而是为了儿子好。
往汽车那儿走的时候，她感觉自己的双脚好像嵌在湿重的混凝土中。她用手捂住胸口，好像要把折磨着她的恶心感压下去。
当她开车经过蓝色瀑布时，那种感觉既熟悉又陌生。儿时记忆中的店铺有的已经不见了，有的还在。她发誓在樱草咖啡厅前面坐着的还是那群老家伙，他们交谈的也许还是那些老掉牙的故事。那些年亟需整修的蓝色瀑布音乐厅也焕然一新。
这样看着家乡就好像是灵魂出窍一样。她已经不是之前住在这里的格雷丝·卡梅伦了，但是昔日的那些感觉还是忍不住涌上心头，洗刷着她身体的每个部分。
埃文在安全带的束缚下极力地凑近窗子。“我一个牛仔也没看见。”他语气中的失落感让格雷丝哭笑不得。“别担心。他们就在附近呢。有好多人都跟咱们一样在度假。”毫无疑问，很多游人过来看这些受欢迎的野花。每年三月份开放的矢车菊让人们为之着迷。“哦。”
格雷丝也看着身边路过的人们，看是否有自己认识的人。
她在找内森。
她已经好像有一百万次想象，当他知道自己有一个儿子的时候会作何反应。震惊、怀疑、愤怒，也许这三种情绪都有。每种都理所应当。
她摇了摇头。仅为这种有可能发生的事而折磨自己没什么意义。她马上就能知道实际情况了。
他们等最后一个红灯的时候，一辆观光巴士转了个大弯拐到了主干道上。车身的一侧写着“野花观光之旅”几个字，字的周围画着几朵探出来的小矢车菊花。格雷丝想如果之前与蓝色瀑布还有这里的人没有什么关系的话，旅行该是什么样子。“绿灯亮了，妈妈。”“噢。”她收住了纷乱的思绪，前行通过路口。
他们沿着蓝色瀑布蜿蜒的道路行驶。到达维斯塔山宾客牧场的时候，她还没做好准备——她有做好准备的时候吗？当转过弯沿着长满雪松和老橡树的车道前行的时候，她握着方向盘的手出汗了。
她心中慌乱，快受不了了。她到这儿来干什么？
她来这儿是因为埃文有个爸爸。
内森有个儿子。
总有一天，这种关系可能是世界上最重要的一种关系，至少对她来说是这样的。
当她转过最后一个弯，看到牧场的腹地时，她不得不深吸了一口气。她不想让埃文发觉自己有多紧张。他虽然只有六岁，但是观察力敏锐，又不好糊弄。她把车停在牧场办公室的泊车位上时，看到另外几家人和几个小孩子。他们到这儿来确实是为了度假，让孩子们感受一下牛仔的乐趣。她多希望接下来的日子能那样简单。
她看了看其他游客，虽然占着有利地形，她还是不知道莱尼和她女儿夏恩是否也在其中。如果不是因为莱尼精神上的支持，格雷丝不知道她能不能到这儿来。“妈妈，你看！马！”
格雷丝望着牲口棚和旁边的畜栏。她深谙它们的位置就好像她昨天还在这里一样。马厩旁边的篱笆圈里站着几匹马，两家人聚在一起，他们的小孩子正在往篱笆的高处爬，这样她们就有更好的视野了。。她看到有一个穿着牛仔裤戴着牛仔帽的男人站在篱笆里面和那群人讲话。但是从她的距离却认不出那人是内森还是他兄弟，或者是帮工。“咱们可以去看马吗？”“过会儿再去。咱们得先登记住宿。”“可是，妈妈！”“宝贝，马不会跑到别处去。你也想看看咱们住的小木屋，是不是？”“我更想看马。”
他这种引人注意的说话方式，撅嘴的样子并没有把她逗笑。埃文从后视镜中看着她的眼睛，她一点开心的样子也没有。
格雷丝一边摇头一边走下车。用不了几分钟，埃文就会忘了之前生过她的气，并且会想要些其他东西了。
埃文的靴子咯噔咯噔地踩在办公室的台阶上，格雷丝猜想着内森小时候是不是也是这个样子。他心里觉得自己已经是长大成人的牛仔，但事实上他还是个小男孩。
格雷丝又深吸了一口气，跟着埃文走了进去。“你好啊，小伙子。”前台的老太太看到埃文后和他说。“你好。我到这里当牛仔来啦。”
梅林·蒂格笑了，完全没意识到她是在和自己的孙子讲话。格雷丝意识到他们已经不能回头了，嗓子发干，很不舒服。“好，你算是来对地方了。你叫什么名字啊，牛仔？”“埃文·卡梅伦。”“认识你很高兴，埃文·卡梅伦。”
埃文模仿他在老电影中看到的明星牛仔们的样子抬了抬他那顶棕黄色的帽子的帽檐。梅林拿预约簿时顿了一下，看了他一会儿，好像被她看到的景象惊住了。格雷丝斯屏住呼吸，她的心脏狂跳击打着肋骨。
梅林看了她的预约簿，这才第一次看到了格雷丝，“格雷丝吗？”“是的，夫人。”
梅林又看了埃文一眼，但是只看了一小会儿，“见到你真好。那么久了。”“是的，夫人。”呀，她好像不会说别的话了。
梅林摇着手做了个“不必那样说了”的动作，“你现在是大人了，叫我梅林就好。”“是……”格雷丝打住了，免得三次都说同样的话。
梅林又看了看预约簿，而格雷丝惊奇地发现内森的母亲几乎没什么变化。她苗条、健康，棕黄色的皮肤说明她经常在户外活动。她属于那种不染发的人，其实也没必要染发，因为她那一头漂亮的银发剪成了短头发，刚刚盖住耳朵。她的装扮休闲又时髦，是一个自在、随遇而安的女人。“所以你现在住在阿肯色州？”梅林问道。
格雷丝几乎能想象出那些言外之意。一直想着你和家人跑到哪里去了。“大学毕业后搬到那里去了。我最好的朋友是那里的人，因此我们决定在那儿开家店。”“你做什么工作？”梅林从她后面的架子上取了一把钥匙。“室内设计。”“哦，我敢肯定那挺有意思的。我就喜欢看HG电视台上的那些设计秀节目。我一看就是三个小时。”“我也是。”“你天天干那些活儿还会看？”
格雷丝点点头，“我猜可能是因为没干够吧。”她猜可能是因为她仍努力用那些美好的事物充盈她的生活，虽然有好几年她被禁止接触这些东西。
梅林递给格雷丝那把钥匙和一张纸，“你们住在12号小屋，把车开到办公室后面就到了。”“我记得。”
梅林笑了，看起来就好像她心里有一大堆问题一样。她有没有可能很快把所有事情都串起来了？尤其是她和内森实际上从来没约过会。格雷丝极力忍住抓过钥匙跑掉的冲动，劝慰自己那些让她焦虑不安的事情根本是子虚乌有。她尽力不去想埃文敏锐的观察力可能是从他祖母那里继承来的。“这是周末的时间表。”梅林指着递给格雷丝的那张纸说，“你们来得正及时，刚好能在旅行开始之前安顿好。”“我们去看马吗？”埃文脚上颠着球，一刻也安静不了。
梅林冲着他笑，“去的，先生。有很多马。”
试读结束[说明：试读内容隐藏了图片]