作者：（瑞典）格纳·阿德里尤斯
出版社：中信出版社
格式: AZW3, DOCX, EPUB, MOBI, PDF, TXT
比起爱你，我更需要你试读：
第一幕
The first actHer foot slides over and then back,cautiously stroking the toes of his left foot．His head quivers when he glances up and catches her gleaming eyes, as wide as five-kronor coins．He blushes, noting the soft tug at his heart.她的脚缓缓地伸了过去，然后又撤了回来，
小心地抚弄着他左脚的脚趾。他抬起头，迎面看到她闪闪发亮的眼睛，大大的，像五克朗的硬币，头脑中不禁一阵眩晕。他脸红了，意识到心微微一动。“Where’d you learn to kiss like that?”She tilts her head
and looks down at the cuticles.
“Like what?”
“Like how you do.”
“I learned it from another girl.”
“Ah …… Pity．I thought you taught yourself on your hand.”“你在哪儿学的这么接吻？”她仰起头，
垂下眼看着手指甲。“什么？”“就像你刚才那样。”“跟另一个女孩学的。”“是吗……真遗憾。我以为你无师自通呢。”The room is red, everything in the room is red:
the carpet, the bedspread, the wallpaper, a big, fuzzy teddy bear like you win at the fair．Even the threshold leading into the room is red.
“Do I dare go in here?”He senses right away how silly he’s being．Then he doesn’t manage to think anything else．She shoves him brusquely into the room, though with a smile that exudes something else．Shuts the door so the music and the hum disappear, and lies down on the bed．He doesn’t lie down but walks around the room a little aimlessly, picks up a Barbie doll with its hair dyed red.
“Do you think she dyed the hair herself, or can you buy them this way?”
“Come here for a minute, lie down instead and you can play with the dolls later.”房间是红色的，房间里的一切都是红色的：
地毯、床罩、壁纸，还有一只毛茸茸的玩具熊，游乐场中奖得来的那种。就连进屋的门槛也是红色的。“我真的敢进去吗？”他感到自己笨得没救了。他还来不及多想，她就把他推进了房间，动作粗鲁，不过嘴唇上的一抹笑容却透露出其他意味。关上门，音乐和嘈杂声消失了，她躺在床上。他没有躺下，在房间里漫无目的地走来走去，拿起一个红头发的芭比娃娃。“你觉得，是她自己把娃娃的头发染成了这样，还是直接买了这种发色的娃娃？”“到这里来，过来躺下，你可以晚点再玩娃娃。”Dad is bipolar.
That means that he gets a rune tattooed on his right arm when he goes to Iceland; that he takes up smoking when he‘s forty-seven; that sometimes he leaves an enormous tip when he eats out; that he laughs louder than other people and cries more quietly．But most of the time it doesn’t mean anything.爸爸患有双相情感障碍症。
这意味着，他去冰岛的时候，会在右胳膊刺上如尼文文身；他在四十七岁的时候开始抽烟；有时他去餐厅吃饭，会给几百克朗的小费；和别人相比，他笑得大声，却哭得悄无声息。绝大多数情况下，他和正常人一样。It’s going to haunt him,
he understands that even now．The sweet, stuffy smell in the room, her blotchy face that melts into everything else．She pulls up his shirt so his stomach shows, then does the same thing to herself and presses her bare midriff against his．“Skin,”she says, scrunching her eyes and mouth into the middle of her face.眼前的这一切会留在他脑海中很久，挥之不去，
他现在就已经明白了。屋子里甜腻、浑浊的气味，她绯红的脸颊，融进其他一切红色之中。她拉起他的套头衫——他的肚子露了出来——然后也拉起自己的，把自己的肚皮贴在他的肚皮上。“肌肤相亲。”她说着，心满意足地眯起眼睛，嘟起嘴巴。The first thing he sees when he wakes up is the
clothing strewn in black patches across the floor．Wrapped in a blanket, he goes downstairs to the living room．The coffee table is covered with beer cans, and someone has curled up into a little ball in an armchair．Stepping cautiously he goes back up the stairs again．The red room is paler in the morning light．He gently shakes her until she wakes up.
“So, what was your name?”
“Betty.”
“I’m Morris．Can we meet again sometime?”他醒来第一眼看到的是地板上散落满地的衣服，
像是一块块污渍。他裹着一条毯子，走下楼梯，来到起居室。茶几上摆满了啤酒罐，在一张躺椅上，有个人蜷缩成一团，像个小小的球。他小心翼翼地又上了楼。在日光下，红色房间的颜色浅淡了很多。他轻轻将她摇醒。“你到底叫什么名字啊？”“贝蒂。”“我叫莫里斯。以后我们还能再见面吗？”Mom’s ceiling has a crystal chandelier.
It clashes with everything else in the apartment: the children’s drawings on the walls; the big piles of newspapers and notepads that have been scribbled all over; the floral-patterned sofa and the rice pillow you sit on．The crystal chandelier is an heirloom．Now it’s lying on the kitchen table split apart into hundreds of dusty pieces．One by one she dunks them down into a bucket of water and soap, then takes them out and gives them to Morris who dries them with a rag．That’s her method, he thinks, to devote a ton of energy to a small detail and let what’s out of control keep on being uncontrollable.妈妈家有一盏水晶灯，吊在屋顶上。
它和这栋公寓里所有的东西都格格不入：墙上的儿童画、一捆一捆堆积如山的废报纸、写满字迹的笔记本、花布沙发以及日式荞麦靠垫。水晶灯是遗物，现在它躺在餐桌上，被七零八落地拆成好几百块布满尘土的挂件。她一个接一个地把这些挂件浸入装满肥皂水的水桶里，然后再把它们拿出来交给莫里斯，莫里斯负责用一块布把它们擦干。“这是她的方式。”他想，“在细节上耗费大量的精力，让不可控的事情更加不可控。”The light and the warmth disappear,
moving on to somewhere else．It doesn’t matter．They sink into the coming darkness．There were some howls coming from a couple of people drinking beer and sitting around a tape recorder．Betty points to one of the people, a guy with a face that in the twilight looks like it consists mostly of nostrils, two big holes.
“I made out with him last week．It was really great, actually.”Ice shoots through him for a second before he gets that she’s joking.
“But he was sniffling the whole time, so I was forced to tell him to leave,”she says, at the same time leaning into him so she ends up with her cheek against his throat.
“I’ve been thinking about you,”he says after a while．“I was really happy when you called.”
“Well, you said I should.”
He tries to breathe as normally as possible.
“Yeah, but not that you should call the same day.”光亮和热度都已不知不觉消失了。
不过没关系。他们沉浸在缓缓而来的黑暗中。吵闹声从几个围坐在录音机旁喝啤酒的人那边传来。贝蒂指着他们中的一个，在黄昏里，那个大男孩的脸看上去好像基本上都被鼻孔占据了，只留下两个大大的洞。“我上星期和他约会来着，差点儿就过夜了，感觉相当爽呢。”他僵在那里一秒钟的时间，立刻明白过来，她在开玩笑。“不过他不停地吸鼻子，我只能把他轰走了。”说着，她把身子靠过去，脸颊刚好抵着他的脖子。“我一直在想你。”过了一会儿，他开口说，“你打电话来，我真的高兴极了。”“我不是说过，我会打电话的吗？”
他努力让呼吸尽可能显得自然些。“可你没说当天就会打电话给我啊！”The hot dog stroganoff sits pathetically on the table.
Dad gives him so much, it overflows the plate．It’s always hot dog stroganoff when he comes to visit．“Why do anything else when I’m so good at this?”he says．It’s weird to be there when he‘s cooking．“Here’s how you do it,”he says, carefully cutting the onion and hot dogs into precise cubes．He uses the half-cup measure for the cream, a tablespoon for the tomato paste, and a quarter teaspoon to determine the proper amount of salt.俄式酸奶焗碎香肠在餐桌上冒着热气。
爸爸给他盛了满满一盘，几乎都要溢出来了。他每次去看望爸爸的时候，爸爸都会做俄式酸奶焗碎香肠，并说：“既然我这么擅长做这道菜，那为什么要做其他的呢？”给爸爸做饭打下手总是让人感觉怪怪的。“这道菜要这么做。”爸爸边说边仔仔细细地把洋葱和香肠切成四四方方的小块。用量勺来舀奶油，用餐勺来盛番茄酱，用带刻度的调料勺精确控制盐的用量。“I thought about you all day today.
That I was going to meet you tonight．The expression you would have when you met me．The way I would open my mouth when we kissed, sort of half-open so you would switch in the middle of the kiss and turn it into a French kiss．How we would walk down the street, which display windows we would stop in front of, and which ones we would just walk by．About all the people who would see us and wonder what fun place we were off to.”“我今天一整天都在想你。
想着晚上就要见到你了。想着见到我时你的模样，还有我们亲吻时我张开嘴的方式。我要把嘴张开一点点，这样在亲吻的过程中，你就可以随时改变主意，把亲吻变成舌吻。我还在想，我们要怎样沿着这条路走，在哪些橱窗前我们要停下来看看，而哪些我们径直走过去就好了。我想过所有我们可能会遇见的人，以及我们到底要去哪个有趣的地方才好。”They open their jackets in the wind and lean out
over the railing, as if they were about to take off from the Västerbro Bridge and sail over the city．The air is so clear and cold that their eyes sting．There’s no limit to how far they can see．She looks at him, how his cheeks have turned red from the wind．He looks at her, at her hair that seems like it wants to flutter away from her head.他们敞开上衣，迎着风，
身体探出栏杆外，好像他们就要从桥上飞起来，飞过整座城市。空气如此清冽，眼睛竟有些刺痛。极目远眺，景致难以尽揽。她看着他，风吹红了他的脸颊。他看着她，她的头发被风撩起，好像要倏然飞去。Her stomach is wet with sweat,
her belly button has turned into a little pool of water; he forms letters with his index finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Writing.”
“What are you writing?”
“Morris was here.”
The sheets make a muffled, rustling noise when she sits up．What he wrote disappears into the folds of her stomach.她的腹部被汗水浸湿了，
肚脐形成了一个小水洼，他用食指在上面写字。“你在干什么？”“写东西。”“写什么？”“这里躺着莫里斯。”
她坐了起来，床单下传出嘎吱嘎吱沉闷的响声。他写的字消失在她肚皮的褶皱里。She pours milk into the coffee．In his head he
counts the number of seconds she lets it flow．He gets to five seconds before she sets the milk down and drops in two sugar cubes．He makes a mental note of that: five seconds, two cubes．She drinks the coffee in a slightly different way, submerges her upper lip and slurps up a few drops at a time．Her actions sink down into him like stones in wet cement．They’ve known each other for a week and four days now.她往咖啡里倒牛奶。他在头脑中默数
牛奶会这样流几秒。数到五秒的时候，她放下牛奶，扔进去两块方糖。他把这些记下：五秒、两块。她喝咖啡的方式有点特别：她会把上嘴唇放进杯子里，每次吸上来一小口。她的动作隐入他的心里，像石块掉进湿漉漉的水泥浆里。现在他们已经相识一个星期零四天了。“If anything interesting happens, I just think how
I’ll tell you about it as exactly as possible later．Today on the way to school I saw an earthworm that had dried onto the asphalt and was stuck there．If I‘d told anyone at school that, they would’ve just laughed．But when I thought about the earthworm, I was totally sure you would understand．It was just hard to wait all day.”
“What did you think?”
“That it looked sad.”“一旦发生了有趣的事情，我就心心念念地
想要一字一句说给你听，尽量不丢掉任何一个细节。今天去学校的路上，我看到一条蚯蚓，它已经干死在柏油路上，它粘在地上了。如果我把这个讲给学校里的人听，他们肯定只会哈哈大笑。但是每当我想起那条蚯蚓时，我知道你一定会懂我的感受。只是要等待一整天太煎熬了。”“你当时在想什么？”“我就是觉得难过。”A scrap of paper tumbles out of his jacket pocket,
crumpled and old．She picks it up off the ground, trying to read a few words．They’re written in pencil, blurry, and jotted down carelessly．When he sees the scrap, his face freezes up and he holds his hand out for it.一张纸条从他的上衣口袋里掉出来，
已经皱成了一团。她从地上捡起来，想要看看上面写了什么。字是用铅笔写的，不太清楚，而且字迹潦草。当他看到纸条时，表情瞬间僵住了。他伸出手去抓那张纸条。With both arms he pulls the comforter over their heads,
fluffs it up so it forms a little tent.
“Time has stopped in here,”he says, huddling against her．“Under this comforter our names are Peanut and Sailor, there aren’t any other people, and we’re going to live here forever, maybe have some little brats who think this bed is the whole universe.”
“How will we get food?”
“There’s no need for food．We’ll live on hugs and kisses．And if we want something after all, then we can just order out for Thai food.”
“I’m starting to find it a little hard to breathe,”she says, gasping for air．“Would a little breathing hole be all right?”他用双手把被子拉过他们头顶，
拢起一些来，成了一个小小的帐篷。“在这里，时间静止了。”他边说，边蜷缩着靠在她身边，“在这个被子下面，我们就是Peanut和Sailor，世上没有其他人，我们一辈子都会住在这里。也许会生几个小混蛋，他们会觉得这张床就是整个宇宙。”“我们怎么吃东西呢？”“不需要吃的，我们靠亲吻和拥抱生活。如果我们特别饿的时候，可以打电话叫份泰餐。”“我开始喘不过气来了。”她说着用力吸了几口气。“留个透气的小缝行不行？”She wakes up because she laughed in her sleep.
It’s light and sunny out．It’s shining on his face, which looks a little younger when he’s asleep, more open and more relaxed．His mouth is pressed against the pillow, where there’s a little puddle of drool．Shaped like a little heart, she thinks．Under the covers it’s warm and smells like their bodies．She rubs against him until he wakes up.她从梦中笑醒了。
天已经亮了，艳阳高照。阳光洒在他的脸上，他睡着的时候看起来像一个孩子，放下了一切防备。他的嘴唇压在枕头上，旁边留下了一小片口水渍。形状有点像一颗心，她想。被子下面很暖和，散发着他们肢体的气味。她用身体去蹭他，直到他醒来。“We can eat breakfast in my room if you‘d rather.”
She’s leaning against the door wearing a T-shirt and underwear.
“I’m coming．I just have to get dressed.”He sniffs at the doorway．Smelling the scent of coffee and toast．When they trot down the stairs he sticks close behind her.
“Ah, the young master and mistress have seen fit to greet the day already?”Betty’s mom says, walking over to them and smiling．She hugs Betty and then, to his surprise, hugs him, too.
“Here’s your seat, Morris．I boiled your eggs for seven minutes.”“如果你喜欢在我房间里吃早餐的话，
我们可以把早饭拿到这里来吃。”她穿着短袖T恤和内裤，倚在门上。“我这就来，让我先把衣服穿上。”他对着门缝嚊了嚊鼻子，闻到了咖啡和烤面包的气味。他们下楼梯的时候，他紧紧跟在她身后。“呀，小夫妇这么早就起来了？”贝蒂的妈妈笑着朝他们走来，拥抱了贝蒂，令他吃惊的是，也拥抱了他。“这是你的座位，莫里斯。我给你们两个煮了鸡蛋，七分钟。”She pinches a piece out of the slice of bread and
rolls it into a little ball, takes another piece of bread and rolls it up the same way．When she’s rolled up twenty bread balls, she starts dunking them in strawberry preserves, one by one so they resemble small gooey berries．The crusts are still lying on the table, looking pathetic．“You can have them,”she says．“I don’t like the crusts.”When she’s done dunking the balls, she puts them in a bowl and fills it with milk until they aren’t visible anymore．Then she takes a spoonful of sugar and sprinkles it over the milk.她从长条面包上掰下来一小块，
搓成小圆球，又掰下一块，用同样的方式搓成小球。她就这样弄了二十来个面包球，然后把它们一个接一个蘸上草莓果酱，它们看上去就像黏糊糊的浆果。面包皮还留在桌子上，看起来像狗啃过似的。“你可以拿去吃。”她说，“我不喜欢吃面包皮。”她把所有的面包球都蘸上草莓酱，然后把它们放进一个碗里，倒上牛奶，直到牛奶没过那些小球。然后她往牛奶里撒了一大勺糖。Dad’s wearing his reading glasses and is leaning
over the Saturday crossword puzzle in Dagens Nyheter.
“Come help me out, Morrie．I have to finish this before we can go to the game.”
“But the game starts in half an hour.”
“Yeah, that’s why I need your help so much.”
He’s filled in almost all the boxes in very meticulous handwriting．The writing doesn’t go outside the lines anywhere; rather, it stays inside．It seems like a really depressing crossword puzzle: alone intersects naïve, which intersects mislead.
“There’s just this word left now, a nine-letter word for pigment products.”
“Paintings,”Morris says．“It has to be paintings.”
“Well, I’ll be damned．I think that’s right.”Dad slaps him on the back and a warmth spreads through the room.爸爸戴着老花镜，坐在那里
全神贯注地做着《每日新闻报》上的周末填字游戏。“过来帮帮忙，莫里斯，我得在去看比赛前把它做出来。”“可是，还有半个小时比赛就开始了。”“是啊，所以你更要来帮忙了。”
他工工整整地填好了几乎所有的方格。没有任何笔画跑到格子外面，每一笔都规规矩矩地待在格子里。这是个令人感觉相当压抑的填字游戏：孤独伴随着无知，无知又伴随着迷茫。“现在只剩下这个词了，彩色创意产品，用九个字母组成的单词来表达。”“Paintings，”莫里斯说，“肯定是这个词。”“对，没错！”爸爸捶了他的背一下，一阵暖意在房间里蔓延开来。The team scores a goal and Dad abruptly moves closer,
his hands fumbling hesitantly; he pulls Morris to him and gives him a peck on the cheek, a little wet and stubbly．After the game they go to Pelikan and drink an aperitif of Bäska Droppar, then eat egg-and-anchovy salad on dark rye and drink beer．Dad laughs so loud that a man in the group next to them turns around and stares.进球了。爸爸突然靠近他，
双手笨拙地伸过来，把他拉到自己身边，在他脸上亲了一下，有点扎。比赛结束后，他们去Pelikan吃鸡蛋凤尾鱼黑麦沙拉，喝啤酒和苦艾酒。爸爸大声地笑着，旁边一桌有个人转过身瞪了他一眼。“Do you think crazy people are drawn to each other?”
“Yeah, I think the ones who are insane choose each other to be able to put up with it at all．Then the ones who are left can be drawn to each other to their hearts’ content.”
“But if the crazy people get together with other crazy people, then the children should be total fruitcakes．And their children in turn would be walking vegetables.”
“The sickest ones probably don’t have any kids; they kill themselves instead.”“你有没有觉得，那些疯疯癫癫的人会彼此吸引？”“没错，我觉得疯子会选择疯子，这样才能彼此忍受。然后，那些剩下的人就会彼此吸引，只要他们还有兴致。”“可是如果疯子和其他疯子在一起，他们的孩子就会成为彻头彻尾的精神病，而他们的下下一代就会是低能儿。”“病得最厉害的人肯定不会生孩子的。他们会自杀。”Mom talks about her dreams, reads poems she’s written,
and tells stories about Sixten’s adventures in the Congo．He’s a guard at an airport．One day he saw someone throwing empty bottles over the barbed-wire fence to another guy standing on the outside who stuffed them into a suitcase．Sixten went over and asked them what the heck they thought they were doing．The man threw himself down at Sixten’s feet, crying and begging not to be fired．“Okay, I‘ll let it go this time,”Sixten said.妈妈在讲她的梦，读她写的诗，
还讲述了“西克森刚果历险记”。西克森负责看守飞机场。有一天，他看到一个人把空瓶子抛过铁丝网给外面的人，而外面的那个人把瓶子塞进一只旅行袋里。西克森走上前去，喝止他们，对他们说，别他妈的这么干，没人会干这个吧？那个男人扑倒在他脚下，痛哭流涕地求他不要开除自己。“好吧，这次就饶了你。”西克森说。The rag rug at Mom’s house is still on the floor of
the hallway．He lifts it up and peers at the floor underneath; it has a different patina there — untrodden．He remembers the rug as rainbow-colored, that he used to let his fingers run along the edges of the different fabrics, naming the colors to himself, names that only he knew．Now the colors in the rug have all been washed out and turned gray.妈妈家的碎布地毯还原封不动地铺在客厅地板上。
他把地毯掀起来看它下面的地板，那里有另外一种光泽——没有被踩踏过的光泽。他记得，地毯有彩虹的颜色，他经常用手抚摸不同颜色的布条，并且给这些颜色起名字——只有他一个人知道的名字。现在地毯上的颜色已经被洗得褪色了，变得灰蒙蒙的。“Come here, I have to check something.”
She stretches out her arms toward him.“I’m going to count all your moles and write the results in my blue book．I’ll count them every day from now on．Surely we can agree on that?”“过来，我得确认一件事。”
她向他伸出手来。“我要数一数你身上一共有多少块胎记，然后记在我的蓝色本子上。以后我每天都要数一次，就这样决定了好吗？”He stole a postcard from Mom.
A soldier’s black silhouette stands out against a large sun, and the Swedish flag is planted the same way the United States flag is on the moon．It says Posted for peace at the top．It’s from Sixten．He turns the postcard over.“Thinking about you a lot, missing you more,”he wrote.他从妈妈那里偷了一张明信片。
圆圆的太阳背景衬托出一个士兵的黑色剪影，还有一面瑞典国旗，像美国把国旗插在月球上那样被插进土地里。最上面写着“为了和平的使命”。这是西克森寄来的。他把明信片翻过来，上面写道：“想起你很多，想念你更多。”“Sometimes when you look into my eyes I have to
look away because it feels like you can see what I’m thinking.”
“Well, I can．Right now you’re thinking about my stomach, here where there’s a little roll of fat.”
“No, I’m thinking that you’re a chemist and that I’m your molecules, Morris molecules．You’re trying to make a potion out of me, a love potion that you will give to people who don’t have any love in their lives.”
“Now you’re thinking that my hand is cool and feels nice against your throat.”“有时你看着我的眼睛，我不得不避开你的目光，
我觉得，你好像能看到我在想什么似的。”“我确实可以啊。现在你在想，我的肚子鼓鼓的，像个大面包。”“错。我在想，你是化学家，我是你的分子，莫里斯分子。你尝试用我做一种粉末，一种叫爱情的粉末，你要把它送给那些没有爱的人。”“现在你在想，我的手凉凉的，放在脖子上可真舒服啊。”It swings back and forth in him.
The thought that they’ll stay together, then that they won’t; both are frightening．Her hard collar bone and the softness that slopes below it．He can choose between the alternatives.他的内心摇摆不定，来来回回撕扯。
他们会在一起，或者他们不会在一起，这两个念头都令他感到恐惧。她坚硬的锁骨和那下面隆起的柔软部分，他可以在两者之间徘徊。“My taste has changed.
The love songs on the radio have started describing how everything really is．I‘m not sure I can deal with being happy, it feels like I’m made out of play dough．I don’t want to be in love like that, like all the other boring people．Our love is different．It’s about us.”“我的喜好已经发生了变化。
收音机里的爱情歌曲好像已经开始描述现实中的事情了。我没有把握一定能开开心心的。感觉我好像是用橡皮泥捏成的一样。我不想以这种方式恋爱，就像其他讨厌鬼一样。我们的爱情是与众不同的。它只关乎我们两个。”“I want to know everything you’ve ever done.”
“You’re not going to think it’s that interesting.”
“Why did time even exist before we met each other? To me it doesn’t feel like it did.”
“For me there’s a before．It’s like a boundary, everything good on one side and everything bad on the other.”“我想知道认识我之前，你做过的每一件事情。”“你肯定不会觉得有意思的。”“为什么会有我们相遇之前的那段时间？我根本不觉得那段时间存在过。”“对我来说，有一段此前的时间。这就像一道分界线，所有好的都在一边，所有不好的都在另外一边。”What if everyone in the world were the same —
except two people．He looks at himself and then at Betty．Her hands disappear into a big white cloud of soapsuds as she does the dishes, but they're still in there, submerged, he can be sure of that．She holds out her wrinkly hands and sets them in his lap and lets him wipe them dry with the dishtowel, and the skin on her fingertips slowly stretches back out．When her skin acts that way he wants to say to her, We belong together like Hennes & Mauritz．Those people out there aren’t us.Don’t go.也许世上所有的人都是一个样——除了他们俩。
他看看自己，然后又看看贝蒂。她在刷碗，双手消失在一大片泡沫“云朵”中，但是那双手就在下面，这一点他可以肯定。刷完后，她把那双皱皱巴巴的手放在他的腿上，让他用毛巾擦干。指尖的皮肤慢慢地平整起来，当她的皮肤发生这种变化的时候，他真想对她说：我们两个就像H&M一样属于彼此。外面的那些人都是其他人。不要离开。
第二幕
The second actShe sits down on his knee in the crowd,flicks her lighter, and holds the flame down toward the grating．“Do you see? There’s an old bus pass, one of those big ones with a picture on it．I wonder how long it’s been lying there.”
“Shouldn’t we put something in there, so that our grandchildren can come here and be amazed?”
“No, just a secret sign for the two of us, no grandchildren.”She digs around in her jacket pockets with both hands and pulls out a coin.“We’ll throw this fifty-öre coin in; that symbolizes eternal love and happiness．We’ll kiss it so a little of each of us sticks to it.”在熙熙攘攘的人群中，她突然蹲了下来，
点燃了打火机，把火苗对着下水道的排水口。“你看，那里有一张旧月票卡，那种带照片的老式大卡片。我很想知道，它躺在那里多久了。”“我们要不要也往里面放件东西呢？这样我们的孙子孙女就可以来这里胡思乱想了。”“不，只是我们两个人的秘密信物，不要孙子孙女来看。”她双手在夹克口袋里摸索了半天，掏出来一枚硬币。“我们把这枚五角钱的硬币扔下去，它代表着永恒的爱情和快乐。我们都亲吻它一下，这样它就会带上我们的印记。”Wasn’t it true that he’d understood as early as that
first morning when she opened her eyes that they would stay together? He can’t tell anymore; the way he remembers her changes all the time．In the future the way he feels now will be distorted.难道不是在第一天早晨，她刚刚睁开眼睛时，
他就意识到他们要在一起了吗？现在已经说不清了，他记忆中的她一直都在变化。他现在所了解的那个她，在未来也一定会发生改变。“That’s what scares me,
how sometimes when I talk to you it starts bubbling out of me．I say things I thought would be private.”
“Like what?”
“The thing about the cavity in my tooth, for example．I tell other people that I’ve never had a cavity, because I don’t feel like that teensy one counts．But when you ask, I have to tell it exactly like it is and then I notice that I’ve almost forgotten the truth．Because I’ve said something else so many times.”
“Well, isn’t that good, then?”
“I mean, you could ask about anything．I’m not sure I’ll tell the truth about everything.”“正是这一点让我害怕，
有时候，我和你说话时，有些话会不由自主地从嘴里冒出来。我会把我本不想告诉别人的事情说出来。”“例如？”“例如我牙齿里长了一个洞。对其他人，我会说我的牙从来都没有过洞，因为我不认为那种特别小的洞也算。可是一旦你问起来，我就会说出每一个组成我的细节，这时才会意识到，我几乎已经忘掉了准确的事实。因为那些说法我已经说过太多遍了。”“这样不好吗？”“你想问什么就问什么。不过我并不确定，我能把所有细节都完整地说给你听。”There’s a pendulum on the desk in Dad’s office.
It has five silver balls that move back and forth in an unfaltering arc．On the desk there are also big piles of job applications．Morris slices open an envelope with a letter opener made of black wood.
“‘Hi, my name is Gunnar,’”he reads aloud from the application．“’Since the age of three I have…’”
“Toss the letter,”Dad says．“You can’t have a name like that
试读结束[说明：试读内容隐藏了图片]